Original subtitles

Dulboot! SCREAMS JOYFULLY

I am so happy to see you!

You're such a nice guy, Dulboot.

Anyone would be so lucky to have you as a friend.

Can you dance? Come on, let's dance, babes.

I want to dance! CHUCKLES

I need to dance.

I'll teach you the Watusi.

Hey, you lot! Give me an upbeat oompah-pah in 4/4,

with a cheeky little kick on the two,

and don't be stingy with the pataflaflas. CHUCKLES

Right. Let's see if I remember it.

Hey! Oh!

Oh. And a...

CHUCKLES

YELPS, GIGGLES

CONTINUES GIGGLING

Oop! GIGGLES

OK, come on.

Let's go home and just fall asleep

in a big clump of friendship.

Aw. CHUCKLES SOFTLY

THUNDEROUS FOOTSTEPS

FRIENDLY MUSIC

WHOOSHING

Ew! Put me down,

you gigantic galoot!

Bleugh! I can smell your bogeys!

Oh, dear. I feel...

a little poorly.

Something in that lily field

didn't agree with my sinusitis. SNEEZES

Oh, dear. This outfit looks completely ridiculous.

BROOM SPLUTTERS

Where are those children, Dulboot?

I need my boy-girl soup now!

I'm completely powerless without it. Ooh!

Yeah, sorry. I'll try again, Badjelly.

You're such a massive waste of space!

I mean, literally, look how much space you're taking up

and just wasting all of it.

Bring them to me now

or don't even bother coming back to the castle.

Got it? OK, bye. YELPS

THUD Oh,

you useless hunk of junk!

Dulboot, I've fallen over.

DARK, DRAMATIC MUSIC

LOW RUMBLING

WHOOSHING

ZAP

EVIL CACKLING ECHOES

EAGLE CRIES

GENTLE MUSIC

HAPPY MUSIC

Hey, everyone, remember that time just then

when I saved you all from very real, imminent danger?

Uh, why are we following him, again?

We're playing follow-the-leader,

and I'm the leader. Ooh.

What's follow-the-leader? You've never played

follow-the-leader? Oh, man, it's the best.

How do you play? Well, I don't wanna bog you

down on all the intricacies of the rules, Rusty.

It can get quite complex, but in essence,

follow-the-leader is a game whereby you, basically,

follow... the... leader.

I'm sold. Let's play. Ha-ha. You're doing great,

Tim. Thanks, Sis.

Yeah, don't ever call me Sis again.

Agreed. Um...

leader...

where's Bearded Mountain?

That's where we're heading, right?

Whoops. Uh...

How do you lose a mountain?

Mountains are really big. It's kind of their defining feature.

Hey, maybe this butterfly knows the way.

CURIOUS MUSIC

MUSIC CONTINUES

Ooh-hoo, this is a nice place.

MUSIC CONTINUES

SCREAMS, BOTH SCREAM

DEVIOUS MUSIC

THUNDEROUS FOOTSTEPS

And just like that, we are done.

No more selling from tree stumps.

From here on out, it's... THUNDEROUS FOOTSTEPS

..smashed.

THUNDEROUS FOOTSTEPS

SIGHS, CROW CAWS

SPLAT Oh,

sorry, mate! WINGS FLAP AWAY

No, my fault. You carry on, son.

YAWNS, SIGHS

You're a smelly ignoramus, Dulboot

Put me down, you revolting yuck-boy.

Did you get your eyes for Christmas like,

a hundred of them? You're not stupid some of the time.

You're stupid all of the time.

'You're not stupid some of the time.'

'You're not stupid... some of the ti...

'You're not stupid some of the time.'

Yes! This time, I'm gonna get those kids,

because... I'm not stupid... some of the time.

SCARY MUSIC

BRIGHT MUSIC

I think it's gone. For now.

BLADE SCRAPES These are so cool!

Who just leaves these lying around?

GASPS And look at this!

'Tis an impressive steed.

Whoa! Easy now, girl.

GASPS No, Tim, stop!

JITTERY MUSIC

BOING

MUSIC CONTINUES

Argh! Rusty?

Mudwiggle? YELPS

SIGHS Yep, typical.

Everyone else has been kidnapped but me.

Oh, hang on, I'm not in the right spot. Here we go.

YELPS I'm coming up!

PEACEFUL MUSIC

REEDS RUSTLE

MUSIC CONTINUES

CRUNCH

Oh, no. No good?

Worse. It's incredible. Mmm!

CRUNCH Mmm.

Oh. Oh, it's just so hard to...

enjoy a cupcake with the constant

lingering dread for our missing children, isn't it?

Yeah.

PURRS

I really hope they're OK. Oh, they will be fine.

Are just trying to make me feel better?

Absolutely. But it's true.

Rose has your smarts and will think her way out of anywhere.

Yeah. And Tim has your spirit.

He'll never back down from anything.

They'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah, they'll be fine.

Oh, no, it's chunky cherry.

SOBS: That's Rose's favourite.

CRUNCH

DANGEROUS MUSIC

GRUNTS

SIGHS I can't help but feel

partially responsible for this.

Sorry, Rose.

It's OK. What are we going to do?

GRUNTS, SIGHS

I wish Mum and Dad were here. They'd know how to get us out.

I miss them. Yeah. Me too.

There has to be a way out of this.

I mean, wow. Look, I don't want to rabbit on about it,

but, uh, how durable is this belt, guys?!

I really need to put you in touch with my belt guy.

Wait. Rusty got a magnet?

Oh! Oh, no fair.

Yeah, it's pretty cool, all right.

And what is a magnet? SHE GRUNTS

Uh-oh.

SCARY MUSIC

THUNDEROUS FOOTSTEPS

FEARLESS MUSIC

CURIOUS MUSIC

CHUCKLES Yes!

Garcon person, what is the soup du jour today, may I ask?

Why, it's boy-girl soup today, sir. Ah...

FRENCH ACCENT: ..perfection. Allow me to have one of those to

take away, then, please, sir. No, sorry. We don't do takeaway.

Oh, um... Well...

Well, for the purposes of this role play, shall we just make it

that you do? Certainly, sir. Wonderful.

THUNDEROUS FOOTSTEPS

PEACEFUL MUSIC

Have you got permits for this furry-bottomed beast?

Who said that? I did.

BOTH SHRIEK

What is going on? Trees don't talk.

I am a police-officer tree. MEOWS

Oh, great. Now that's in my hair.

Police-officer trees don't talk -

or have hair.

What am I saying? Oh, are you calling me a liar?

I've got a good mind to arrest you for perj-ur-tree.

And arrest you for lying...

under oak. Huh.

Are you telling tree puns?

Hmm, nah, I think I'll just do the two.

Hey-oh! I'm on fire!

Tree sounds like three. You can't deny it.

Come on, love. Enough of this. Let's find the kids.

Scruffy boy with a cast, perchance? Taller girl with a

sweater perpetually tied around her waist?

BOTH: Yeah. Have you seen them?

Nah. Sometimes you just get a vibe, you know.

Jokes! Yeah, I've seen 'em. They were here?

Huh? No, not here. I saw them somewhere else.

What? How is that possible?

Well, let's just say I saw them at another...

branch. This guy gets it.

Hmm. Let's go. This guy is wasting our time.

Wouldn't go that way. Quickest way to catch your kids

is to head straight through there.

HOPEFUL MUSIC

Slappy Valley.

Oh, finally. OK.

Thank you very much. Thank you, Officer.

Appreciate you telling us the quickest...

route. BOTH LAUGH

Root. Right. I'll do the jokes,

thank you very much. You just focus on what you're good at -

losing your kids. MEOWS

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Sorry.

GENTLE MUSIC

So, Slappy Valley...

sounds fun.

SLAP Ouch!

Ow! SLAPPING, BOTH GRUNT

BOTH GROAN, SLAPPING CONTINUES

How long's this gonna last? Oh, gosh. It's still going on.

SLAPPING CONTINUES Ow!

IMITATES FANFARE MUSIC

"Congratulations, you lucky blighters.

"You've been captured by the greatest adventurer

"to have ever lived," she announced confidently.

MUSICAL FLOURISH

Sorry, who are you?

You may call me... IMITATES FANFARE MUSIC

..Dinglemouse, and that there is my impressive steed,

Gallopalot. IMITATES FANFARE MUSIC

Well, that's far too many fanfares.

As she proudly surveys her impressive catch,

she wonders what fools would even try

to infiltrate Dinglemouse's lair.

Are we involved in this? Are we...

Are we supposed to be responding to this, or...?

It's just... I mean, I'm lost at this point.

She talks like one of those storybooks you told me about,

Rose. You guys get a load of this?

Five of them. Not since the great capture of Fruitalulu

have we seen numbers like this.

Who are you talking to?

My friends, just all my best friends,

over there.

Anyway, enough with the questions. Explain yourselves.

What gives you the right to waltz in here and start playing

with all of my stuff?

Oh, no, we're sorry. We really didn't mean any harm.

We're just trying to rescue our cow.

Badjelly has stolen her.

Badjelly? "Oh, well,

"we've both got beef with her, then," she quipped cleverly.

You too?

Life used to be different for me.

I used to have the good life.

I used to be...

a banana.

And all those wonderful things that you hear about

being a banana, I can tell you,

they're all true, and I took it for granted.

Look at them. Look at them over there,

just having the time of their lives.

That used to be me. That used to be me!

SAD MUSIC

THWACK "Pull yourself together,"

she cried out.

..until that vicious Badjelly took everything from me

and turned me into a lowly mouse.

What sort of an existence do you call this?

Worst of all, my friends act

like they don't even know me any more.

Dean? Katrina?

Oh, Dinglemouse, you poor thing.

Yeah, she sounds like a real nasty piece of work.

GRUNTS If I could just...

GRUNTS

Hello. Oh, corn nuts!

CREAKING Oh, no.

Oh, boy.

Oh, not ideal. ALL SCREAM

We're falling in the air now!

Ah! We're freeee!

Someone get me out of here. I can't feel my feet!

GASPS Is this my grocery order?

Tilt! Tilt!

WHEELS SCREECH

Whoa!

CACKLES

Dulboot's done good. CHUCKLES

Badjelly is gonna be very happy with this guy.

QUIETLY: Hey, unhand those fools!

That's my catch. Give them back!

What on earth is that squeaky noise?

Oi, are you squeezing one out? I certainly am not.

It's down there. Also, uh,

can you get her to clarify which of us are the

"fools" she's referring to?

I doubt it's me.

SCREAMS A mouse! Hold on. No, I'm not scared of mice.

Yeah. Sorry. Doop! SHE SQUEAKS

What? I cannot understand a word you're saying.

I'm squeaking very clearly. What is your problem?

SQUEAKS

No. I'm not getting it. If anything,

it's getting more irritating.

SQUEAKS

"You stay there. I'll come to you,"

she shouted loudly.

HEROIC MUSIC

SQUEAKS

GRUNTS

Now, look, tall boy, I know who you are,

and any friend of Badjelly is no friend of mine.

Get out of here and leave my captives behind.

Why? What are you gonna do with them, eh?

Nothing. I just catch and release.

I do it for the thrill of it,

and it's better for the ecosystem.

Pfft! What a waste. What a waste!

Badjelly is gonna make way better

use of these kids than you ever will, mate.

BOTH: What?!

And once I hand them over to Badjelly,

we are gonna be the very best of friends,

which, I'll be honest, is, yeah, really, what I want.

CHUCKLES Rose. I'm scared.

Oh, we've got to do something.

Um... Mudwiggle, come with me.

Where?

No idea. No way. He can see us.

You'll get me sprung.

OK. Easy, easy, easy, easy!

CUNNING MUSIC

SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

SPRING CREAKS

Oh, Mudwiggle! I told you I'd get sprung!

Mine. They're mine!

"They are mine!" she screeched with all her might.

Whoa!

GRUNTS

SCREAMS

Battle cry! Yeah, that's right.

What she said!

HEROIC MUSIC

GRUNTING, YELPS

ALL EXCLAIM

Whoa! GRUNTS

Initiate the giant-hurting machine.

LIGHTBULBS CLICK

Righty-ho, team, this is what we've been training for.

CUNNING MUSIC

Guys.

Greg, this is your time to shine.

Janet, Denise,

come on, guys. I need your help.

CLEARS THROAT We can help too.

CUNNING MUSIC CONTINUES

Tall girl, pull that lever.

Gremlin child, crank that wheel.

Tiny snake, hoist that... hoisty thing.

"Let's take this giant down,"

she said heroically.

GRUNTS Stupid kiddie seat.

ACTION MUSIC

BOOM, GRUNTS

MUSIC CONTINUES

ROCKETS WHIZZ

Argh-ee-awhoo! STEAM HISSES

ROPE WHIPS, WOOD TWANGS, METAL CLUNKS

Enough, enough!

Ooh! You... Argh!

Oh, get out. THUD

BIRDS TWEET, WHIMSICAL MUSIC

Oh, what now? What now? Oh, great, it's bees.

Fantastic (!) YOWLS

You're animals. You're all animals!

FANFARE MUSIC

CHEERING BOTH: Yes!

CURIOUS MUSIC

PANTS

Last time I take directions from a talking policeman tree.

PURRS

I must say, I've seen many a caper in my day...

but what I just witnessed,

that was truly impressive.

But if you lot are serious about taking on Badjelly,

I mean really serious,

I think you might be needing a Dinglemouse,

as in... me.

Oh, wow. Yes, yes. We would love

to have your skills on board.

Oh, and, yeah, sorry for all that

"capturing you back there" stuff -

just a bit of fun to pass the time. You know how it is.

Can someone get me...

out of this baby seat?! GIGGLING

I've got just the thing.

Yeah, there you go.

Oh, stop. It's not working.

I'm still stuck in the baby seat of a shopping trolley,

but now I've also got jammy legs!

Aw, my little baby.

Right, team...

where to next? WHOOSH!

Down there.

EXCITING MUSIC

CHUCKLES, GASPS

Shall we?

CHEERING

Here we come, Lucy!

"Woo-hoo"? What are you talking about?! What about,

"How do we stop it" hoo?

Don't worry. I'm sure that giant rock

up ahead will help us.

PLAYFUL MUSIC

ALL EXCLAIM

DARK, DRAMATIC MUSIC

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