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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:05,162 You suck. - Oh, my God. 2 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,532 Get those tards off the stage right now. 3 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:17,034 - Let's bail. - Don't we wanna see if we win? 4 00:02:17,211 --> 00:02:19,008 Come on. 5 00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:23,112 I can't wait to graduate and get the hell out of this place. 6 00:02:23,284 --> 00:02:25,184 I thought we had some intricate harmonies. 7 00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:27,218 Should've done "Mama Said Knock You Out." 8 00:02:27,388 --> 00:02:31,484 I'll tell you one thing, when we graduate from college, we're gonna soar like eagles. 9 00:02:31,659 --> 00:02:33,559 Yeah, we just haven't peaked yet. 10 00:02:33,728 --> 00:02:37,164 We're the ones who are going to get the cool jobs, the sexy husbands... 11 00:02:37,598 --> 00:02:39,293 ...the sky-high self-esteem. 12 00:02:39,467 --> 00:02:42,027 Right. Today's geeks turn out to be tomorrow's winners. 13 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:45,900 So screw college because, ladies, real life starts now. 14 00:02:46,073 --> 00:02:48,166 Yeah, and we are gonna have it all. 15 00:02:48,709 --> 00:02:51,507 Look out, world, here we come. 16 00:03:00,121 --> 00:03:01,281 - Oh! - Ah! 17 00:03:01,455 --> 00:03:02,979 Dang it. 18 00:03:03,157 --> 00:03:04,522 Oh. 19 00:03:04,692 --> 00:03:05,716 Your blouse. 20 00:03:05,893 --> 00:03:07,884 - I have a moist towelette. - No worries. 21 00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:10,121 I'll just hit T.J. Maxx on the way to work. 22 00:03:10,631 --> 00:03:12,326 The max for the minimum, smart. 23 00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:16,300 - I have to go. I'm graduating students today. - Oh, great. 24 00:03:16,670 --> 00:03:18,001 Well, hang in there. 25 00:03:18,172 --> 00:03:20,003 Like a cat on a branch. 26 00:03:21,475 --> 00:03:22,499 - See you later. - Bye. 27 00:03:22,676 --> 00:03:23,904 Have a great day. 28 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,913 Graduation day is always very emotional for me. 29 00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:33,849 The bond that we share with our canine friends is a special one. 30 00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:36,822 Dogs don't care how much money you make... 31 00:03:36,991 --> 00:03:41,360 ...what kind of car you drive, or whose name's on the back of your jeans. 32 00:03:41,962 --> 00:03:44,692 They don't care if you cry a lot at commercials... 33 00:03:44,865 --> 00:03:47,356 ...or have a mustache that you haven't waxed. 34 00:03:47,535 --> 00:03:50,231 Dogs don't care if you shame-eat when you're lonely. 35 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:54,639 And I never, ever feel judged by dogs. 36 00:03:54,809 --> 00:03:58,245 Because dogs love your insides. 37 00:03:59,346 --> 00:04:01,837 And that's why I love dogs. 38 00:04:09,256 --> 00:04:10,917 Come on. 39 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:14,991 - Gayle, I really don't... - Oh, over here. 40 00:04:15,162 --> 00:04:17,426 Gayle, I just wanted to thank you for everything. 41 00:04:17,598 --> 00:04:19,361 Pepper's already changing my life. 42 00:04:19,533 --> 00:04:21,125 Oh, she's a good dog. 43 00:04:21,569 --> 00:04:25,699 Well, ever since I met Pepper and you, I've felt much more confident. 44 00:04:26,574 --> 00:04:29,668 Life is just that much easier. 45 00:04:29,844 --> 00:04:31,778 Running errands, taking the train. 46 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:34,611 I even think that I might be ready to start dating. 47 00:04:34,782 --> 00:04:38,240 Something I never would've dreamed of before I met you and Pepper. 48 00:04:40,921 --> 00:04:42,786 - Really? - Yeah. 49 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:50,123 You know, I wouldn't usually ask this of a client, but what the hell. 50 00:04:50,297 --> 00:04:54,358 I have two tickets to the Amy Grant concert on Friday. 51 00:04:54,535 --> 00:04:56,594 Would you like to go with me? 52 00:04:57,204 --> 00:05:00,935 Well, you see, the thing is, I only love Amy Grant. 53 00:05:01,642 --> 00:05:03,234 Wow. 54 00:05:03,410 --> 00:05:04,434 May I? 55 00:05:04,812 --> 00:05:06,370 Oh. 56 00:05:15,623 --> 00:05:18,285 I'm sorry. You know what? I've got plans. 57 00:05:18,459 --> 00:05:20,120 Come on, Pepper. 58 00:05:22,997 --> 00:05:25,329 Senator Hartmann's office. 59 00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:27,433 Senator Hartmann's office. 60 00:05:28,936 --> 00:05:30,563 Ma'am? 61 00:05:31,405 --> 00:05:35,842 One shot from this baby can blow a man's spine out his back. 62 00:05:39,313 --> 00:05:42,077 I thought that you could use a whole bottle. 63 00:05:50,024 --> 00:05:51,787 Something else? 64 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,259 Have you had a chance to read my notes on fuel efficiency? 65 00:05:56,430 --> 00:05:59,524 I really think my ideas offer a bold bipartisan... 66 00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:00,894 - Betty. - Becky. 67 00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:04,526 Honey, why would a sweet gal like you wanna get involved... 68 00:06:04,705 --> 00:06:07,731 ...in stinky old policy debates? 69 00:06:11,378 --> 00:06:14,279 Well, as much as I love my job as office manager... 70 00:06:14,448 --> 00:06:16,643 ...what I really want is to make a difference. 71 00:06:16,817 --> 00:06:19,684 Did you know that this country is addicted to oil? 72 00:06:21,155 --> 00:06:23,020 Listen, Betty. 73 00:06:23,190 --> 00:06:26,387 You're a really good office manager. 74 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:30,724 But if you wanna be a woman in politics, you're gonna have to get some nuts. 75 00:06:30,898 --> 00:06:32,661 Let me ask you a question. 76 00:06:32,833 --> 00:06:35,063 Are you tough enough to take a loaded shotgun... 77 00:06:35,836 --> 00:06:40,239 ...aim it at some cracker and tell them to "eat me"? 78 00:06:43,844 --> 00:06:47,610 Why don't you just leave the politics to the gals with the loaded guns? 79 00:06:47,781 --> 00:06:49,544 - Yes, ma'am. - Okay. 80 00:06:52,353 --> 00:06:54,082 Thank you. 81 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:56,813 The wedding's in three months... 82 00:06:56,991 --> 00:07:00,051 ...and we just wanna iron out some kinks before the big day. 83 00:07:00,227 --> 00:07:03,788 Oh, but don't get me wrong, William and I are fine. Best friends, really. 84 00:07:04,231 --> 00:07:08,759 I think the most important thing in a relationship is honesty. 85 00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,134 Well, we have a motto, doc, don't we? 86 00:07:11,572 --> 00:07:13,563 - No secrets. - No secrets. 87 00:07:17,378 --> 00:07:19,573 Honey, I'm home. 88 00:07:20,347 --> 00:07:22,406 I brought dinner. 89 00:07:25,285 --> 00:07:26,843 Honey? 90 00:07:29,556 --> 00:07:32,252 Honey. It should've been me. 91 00:07:35,462 --> 00:07:37,225 Honey. 92 00:07:37,965 --> 00:07:39,728 Friend. 93 00:07:40,434 --> 00:07:41,458 Soul mate. 94 00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,271 Always loyal. 95 00:07:46,573 --> 00:07:48,541 Often hilarious. 96 00:07:48,709 --> 00:07:53,578 We dedicate this "make your own pizza" party to you. 97 00:07:55,849 --> 00:07:59,182 The first in 12 years you didn't attend. 98 00:08:01,455 --> 00:08:03,821 This is really hard. 99 00:08:05,793 --> 00:08:07,158 Rest in peace, girlfriend. 100 00:08:07,327 --> 00:08:08,817 See you on the other side. 101 00:08:10,264 --> 00:08:12,459 Now let's make some pizza. 102 00:08:12,633 --> 00:08:14,430 Mini pepperonis? - Mm-hm. 103 00:08:14,601 --> 00:08:16,296 No cheese for me. I'm off dairy. 104 00:08:16,470 --> 00:08:18,802 You don't have to go off anything. You look great. 105 00:08:18,972 --> 00:08:21,805 Yeah. I'm not attractive enough for a blind man. 106 00:08:21,975 --> 00:08:25,103 We need to discuss if we're still going on our road trip next week. 107 00:08:25,279 --> 00:08:26,439 Maybe it's too soon. 108 00:08:27,247 --> 00:08:28,942 She would want life to go on. 109 00:08:29,883 --> 00:08:31,316 You're right. 110 00:08:31,485 --> 00:08:34,283 Honey loved hearing about our trips. 111 00:08:34,455 --> 00:08:37,856 I remember sitting on that sofa and telling her about every adventure. 112 00:08:38,659 --> 00:08:40,718 Oh, the way she laughed. 113 00:08:40,894 --> 00:08:42,361 Oh. 114 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,164 Energy becomes energy. 115 00:08:45,799 --> 00:08:47,164 I think we should go on the trip. 116 00:08:47,334 --> 00:08:48,596 Yay. 117 00:08:48,769 --> 00:08:51,237 Because, you guys, I have a real treat planned for us. 118 00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:56,342 We are going to Tempe, Arizona to the Wimmin's Music Festival. 119 00:08:57,344 --> 00:08:59,312 Please tell me Tracy Chapman is performing. 120 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,380 She and her "Fast Car" will be there. 121 00:09:01,548 --> 00:09:02,537 Oh, my goddess. 122 00:09:04,985 --> 00:09:06,850 Gayle, what's wrong? 123 00:09:07,020 --> 00:09:09,580 - You love women-centered folk music. - I do. 124 00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:14,217 I know. I just... I wish we could go somewhere more fun, you know. 125 00:09:14,394 --> 00:09:16,555 So, like, we could be more fun. 126 00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:17,924 We're fun. 127 00:09:18,098 --> 00:09:20,896 Tell me that our yearly Americana road trip isn't fun. 128 00:09:21,068 --> 00:09:23,798 - Yeah, or at-home karaoke Fridays. - Yeah. 129 00:09:23,971 --> 00:09:25,461 Or the Movie Numbers Game. 130 00:09:25,639 --> 00:09:27,504 Hon, you love the Movie Numbers Game. 131 00:09:27,674 --> 00:09:29,505 - I do love that game. - You go first. 132 00:09:29,676 --> 00:09:33,544 - Name a movie, one to 10, go. - One Crazy Summer. 133 00:09:33,714 --> 00:09:35,511 - Two of a Kind. - Three to Tango. 134 00:09:35,682 --> 00:09:37,673 - Four Weddings and a Funeral. - Five Easy Pieces. 135 00:09:37,851 --> 00:09:40,217 - Six Days and Seven Nights. - Ooh. A double. 136 00:09:40,387 --> 00:09:43,948 - 8 Mile. - The erotic Nine and a Half Weeks. 137 00:09:44,124 --> 00:09:45,614 And 10. We did it. 138 00:09:50,364 --> 00:09:53,595 - See? We're pretty fun. - Yeah, we are. 139 00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:57,394 Again, Vice President Lawrence Kenner has resigned. 140 00:09:57,571 --> 00:10:00,938 The disgraced politician remains in an undisclosed location... 141 00:10:01,108 --> 00:10:04,942 ... a day after he was caught in a motel room with two underage girls. 142 00:10:05,112 --> 00:10:07,307 - He said he loved me. - You liar! 143 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:08,812 The presi... 144 00:10:08,982 --> 00:10:13,146 Whoo-hoo-hoo! I love me's a scandal. 145 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,713 Well, the president will be making his selection... 146 00:10:17,891 --> 00:10:19,324 ...at the end of the week. 147 00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:22,223 And guess who's at the top of his list. 148 00:10:22,763 --> 00:10:24,321 That's right, Mama. 149 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,489 Mama's at the top of that list. 150 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,692 They're gonna want someone squeaky clean. 151 00:10:28,869 --> 00:10:31,667 - They'll comb through every part of your life. - I'm spotless. 152 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:35,570 I already deported the maid, and my husband's impotent. 153 00:10:36,109 --> 00:10:37,667 What about your daughter, Ashley? 154 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:41,076 But we were Lancelot and Guinevere of the medieval feast last year. 155 00:10:42,883 --> 00:10:44,441 Not now, Trevor. 156 00:10:44,618 --> 00:10:47,678 Ashley, we want different things. 157 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:50,323 Since I got my braces off and that mole removed... 158 00:10:50,490 --> 00:10:53,084 ...I realized it's time for me to move on. 159 00:10:54,127 --> 00:10:57,028 - None of the medieval freaks even work out. - Hey, Doug. 160 00:10:57,197 --> 00:10:59,995 Stop talking to that fugly face and get over here. 161 00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:02,499 Support our spring break. - Buy a cookie. 162 00:11:02,669 --> 00:11:07,299 All proceeds will support binge drinking, promiscuity and public nudity. 163 00:11:07,474 --> 00:11:08,771 South Padre. 164 00:11:12,346 --> 00:11:13,677 It's senior spring, Ash. 165 00:11:14,147 --> 00:11:17,207 They're trying to be your friend because your dad owns Six Flags. 166 00:11:17,384 --> 00:11:18,851 Maybe so, but they're fun. 167 00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:22,646 - And I wanna be with a girl who parties. - I can be that girl. 168 00:11:23,790 --> 00:11:27,123 I can. I could be a right, fine saucy wench. 169 00:11:27,294 --> 00:11:29,489 - I can be saucy. - Ashley. 170 00:11:30,464 --> 00:11:31,658 You'll never be that girl. 171 00:11:33,467 --> 00:11:35,662 Hey, Mason, wait up. 172 00:11:40,474 --> 00:11:43,773 - What's so great about them? - Forget Doug, Ashley. 173 00:11:43,944 --> 00:11:47,607 Let him and those frat gorillas go on their stupid spring break. 174 00:11:49,016 --> 00:11:50,347 I hate his fake face. 175 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,644 One second. 176 00:11:54,821 --> 00:11:56,914 - Hey, Mama. - Hey, baby. 177 00:11:57,090 --> 00:11:59,752 What's up with my little rock star? 178 00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:02,521 I think someone's got a spring break coming up. 179 00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,761 Yeah, it's next week. 180 00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:06,695 Oh, no. 181 00:12:06,867 --> 00:12:09,893 Where's your crazy sorority off to this year? 182 00:12:12,272 --> 00:12:14,638 South Padre. 183 00:12:15,108 --> 00:12:17,338 Where the Padre never stops. 184 00:12:17,511 --> 00:12:20,537 Oh, baby, you are my pride and joy. 185 00:12:20,714 --> 00:12:23,342 Now, you be good and make safe choices. 186 00:12:23,517 --> 00:12:25,815 - Okay, bye. - Bye-bye, baby. 187 00:12:28,822 --> 00:12:30,756 What? Don't want her to be disappointed. 188 00:12:31,124 --> 00:12:33,456 She has this image about me. 189 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:36,221 You know, you've really gotta stop lying to her. 190 00:12:36,663 --> 00:12:40,599 You know what, miladies? You're right, the lying stops here. 191 00:12:40,767 --> 00:12:42,598 I am going to South Padre. 192 00:12:42,769 --> 00:12:45,431 I'm gonna prove to Douglas that inside this fair maiden... 193 00:12:45,605 --> 00:12:47,800 ...lies the heart of a wanton trollop. 194 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:49,943 He's gonna want me back. 195 00:12:51,211 --> 00:12:54,612 My baby girl is just like her mother was back in the day. 196 00:12:54,781 --> 00:12:57,215 She's the most popular girl in her sorority... 197 00:12:57,384 --> 00:13:01,411 ...smart as a whip and always up for a good time. 198 00:13:02,422 --> 00:13:04,686 If the press catches her acting out, you're sunk. 199 00:13:04,858 --> 00:13:09,852 - It'll be Bush twins, the sequel. - It's just spring break, y'all. 200 00:13:15,302 --> 00:13:18,169 Somebody impregnate me! 201 00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:22,574 I guess we better send someone down... 202 00:13:22,743 --> 00:13:25,405 ...to South Padre Island to keep an eye on that girl. 203 00:13:25,579 --> 00:13:29,811 And I need someone who's responsible, but young enough to pass. 204 00:13:34,721 --> 00:13:35,779 Betty. 205 00:13:35,956 --> 00:13:38,686 - You're going to spring break, girl. - I am? 206 00:13:39,393 --> 00:13:42,658 You're gonna stay on my daughter, Ashley, 24/7. 207 00:13:42,829 --> 00:13:45,821 You'll keep her under the radar for the five days she's there. 208 00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:49,465 Now, don't you tell her I sent you because we mostly trust each other. 209 00:13:49,803 --> 00:13:51,202 I am so on it. 210 00:13:51,371 --> 00:13:55,034 All right, girl, it's time for you to show me those huge hairy nuts you got... 211 00:13:55,208 --> 00:13:57,039 ...hidden down there. 212 00:14:23,870 --> 00:14:26,896 Pappy, Pappy. 213 00:14:29,476 --> 00:14:32,138 Hello? Sweetheart. 214 00:14:32,312 --> 00:14:35,179 The invites came in. They look really good. 215 00:14:35,348 --> 00:14:37,714 - You've gotta see. They look... - Ooh! 216 00:14:38,485 --> 00:14:41,477 Will... William? Juan Carlos? 217 00:14:41,955 --> 00:14:43,684 I'm sorry. 218 00:14:46,026 --> 00:14:49,860 - I thought you were teaching a class. - Yeah, class canceled. 219 00:14:50,530 --> 00:14:55,229 William, are you sure that we have no secrets? 220 00:14:56,336 --> 00:14:57,860 - Okay, the truth? - Yeah. 221 00:14:58,038 --> 00:15:01,269 I'm not liking your "implicaish," okay? You don't trust me? 222 00:15:01,441 --> 00:15:04,672 - Then I'm really "sorr," but wedding off. - You're breaking up with me? 223 00:15:04,845 --> 00:15:07,177 Leave me alone! You're giving me a nervy break-D. 224 00:15:07,347 --> 00:15:08,507 What...? 225 00:15:09,916 --> 00:15:11,747 I mean, do you really think he's gay? 226 00:15:11,918 --> 00:15:15,979 I mean, it's not like every straight guy is into football, right? 227 00:15:16,156 --> 00:15:17,646 I mean... 228 00:15:17,824 --> 00:15:19,348 I don't know, maybe it's me. 229 00:15:19,526 --> 00:15:21,016 Maybe if I only had... 230 00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:22,853 A penis? 231 00:15:26,466 --> 00:15:29,264 I just wanna be married. 232 00:15:30,670 --> 00:15:33,195 Judi, forget about him, okay? 233 00:15:33,373 --> 00:15:35,739 We're going on vacation. 234 00:15:35,909 --> 00:15:38,070 I can't go with you guys. 235 00:15:39,079 --> 00:15:40,774 - What? - What? 236 00:15:40,947 --> 00:15:44,542 Today the senator handpicked me for an important mission. 237 00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:49,612 She's sending me on a spring break to watch over her daughter, a wild child... 238 00:15:49,789 --> 00:15:53,452 ...and to possibly transform her into being a better human being. 239 00:15:54,628 --> 00:15:57,722 - Did you just say "spring break"? - I know, it's crazy, right? 240 00:15:57,898 --> 00:16:00,992 Wow, you get to do college all over again? 241 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,659 - You're really lucky. - It's a real opportunity. 242 00:16:05,472 --> 00:16:07,997 Do you guys remember college? 243 00:16:09,109 --> 00:16:12,078 No more blood for oil. We must stop this unjust war. 244 00:16:12,245 --> 00:16:14,941 No more blood for oil. We must... 245 00:16:19,319 --> 00:16:21,014 Hey. Hold on one second. 246 00:16:22,389 --> 00:16:24,152 No, no, no. No. 247 00:16:28,228 --> 00:16:32,255 Bigtime congrats to the following new Kappa Mu Delta sisters. 248 00:16:32,766 --> 00:16:35,860 So when you hear your name, come on up and join us. 249 00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:38,937 Marcy. Ayala. 250 00:16:39,706 --> 00:16:41,264 Jo Lynn. 251 00:16:41,841 --> 00:16:42,865 Laurie. 252 00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:45,841 And Claire. 253 00:16:46,413 --> 00:16:47,880 Everyone else, thank you. 254 00:16:53,119 --> 00:16:54,416 Ew. 255 00:16:57,257 --> 00:16:59,282 College was rough. 256 00:16:59,459 --> 00:17:02,519 It was a learning experience. 257 00:17:04,598 --> 00:17:06,862 I wanna go with you, Becky. 258 00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:09,126 - Where? - To spring break. 259 00:17:09,302 --> 00:17:10,530 You do? 260 00:17:10,704 --> 00:17:13,673 Let's go. We never went to spring break in college. 261 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,365 I'll trade in my first-class tickets for three coaches. 262 00:17:16,676 --> 00:17:18,871 - And I have a suite at the Four Seasons. - Yeah. 263 00:17:19,045 --> 00:17:22,640 - I've never stayed at a Four Seasons. - This is the kind of vacation we need. 264 00:17:22,816 --> 00:17:25,216 - We do need to shake things up a little bit. - Wait. 265 00:17:25,385 --> 00:17:27,046 What would Honey want us to do? 266 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:28,847 Hey, Becky. 267 00:17:29,689 --> 00:17:31,213 You really need to bury that cat. 268 00:18:07,460 --> 00:18:09,894 Get it together. 269 00:18:11,598 --> 00:18:12,997 That's what I'm talking about! 270 00:18:13,166 --> 00:18:15,634 Let's have sex. 271 00:18:15,802 --> 00:18:17,064 This is terrific. 272 00:18:17,237 --> 00:18:18,602 It's repulsive. 273 00:18:20,774 --> 00:18:23,538 "The 4 Seasonés"? 274 00:18:24,577 --> 00:18:26,670 We're gonna get date-raped in there. 275 00:18:26,846 --> 00:18:29,406 - You think? - Judi. 276 00:18:32,352 --> 00:18:33,376 Yeah. 277 00:18:35,221 --> 00:18:36,745 Yoo-hoo, ladies, over here. 278 00:18:37,257 --> 00:18:38,815 Howdy, girls. Yoo-hoo. 279 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:41,324 Hold up one sec. Mama needs her meds. 280 00:18:41,494 --> 00:18:43,257 You know how it is. Mm. Mm-mm. 281 00:18:45,498 --> 00:18:47,591 Welcome to The 4 Seasonés. 282 00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:48,791 My name is Charlene. 283 00:18:48,968 --> 00:18:51,061 This here is my 18th spring break. 284 00:18:51,237 --> 00:18:54,331 Y'all, my hot ass ain't even half done with the party. Whoo! 285 00:18:55,842 --> 00:18:57,309 Okay. 286 00:18:57,477 --> 00:18:59,536 Checking in. 287 00:19:00,146 --> 00:19:01,511 Becky St. Germaine. 288 00:19:01,681 --> 00:19:05,014 That's right. I got y'all in a suite on the third floor. 289 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,584 Bathroom's in the hall. 290 00:19:06,753 --> 00:19:09,688 - Wait. One bathroom for the entire floor? - I'm out of here. 291 00:19:09,856 --> 00:19:15,817 And listen, if I ever catch any of y'all doing the nasty, y'all know this. 292 00:19:16,396 --> 00:19:18,296 I may just join in. What? 293 00:19:18,465 --> 00:19:21,434 Oh, shit. All right, all right. Y'all get. 294 00:19:21,601 --> 00:19:23,000 Y'all get and party. 295 00:19:23,169 --> 00:19:26,297 Get the party started, girls. Whoo! 296 00:19:39,953 --> 00:19:42,478 This place is dog balls. 297 00:19:43,423 --> 00:19:45,823 It has a lot of character. - I kind of smell pee. 298 00:19:46,526 --> 00:19:48,357 This is a suite? 299 00:19:48,528 --> 00:19:51,122 Let me just grab this towel to wipe... 300 00:19:51,731 --> 00:19:52,925 Ew. 301 00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:58,830 Judi, the bedspread is the filthiest part of the entire room. 302 00:19:59,005 --> 00:20:02,566 Oh, that's right, that's right. I heard that on 20/20. 303 00:20:03,877 --> 00:20:05,504 Oh, no. 304 00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:10,474 Okay. Becky, what's your plan? 305 00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:12,811 Okay, yeah. 306 00:20:15,455 --> 00:20:16,581 This is Ashley. 307 00:20:16,756 --> 00:20:18,383 We find her, we bond. 308 00:20:18,558 --> 00:20:22,016 We insinuate ourselves into her clique and then we all become best friends. 309 00:20:22,195 --> 00:20:23,924 - Great. - That's... That's your plan? 310 00:20:24,197 --> 00:20:25,221 Yes, it is. 311 00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:27,229 According to my Internet research... 312 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,336 ...this club, Chuggers, is the Studio 54 of South Padre. 313 00:20:31,504 --> 00:20:33,734 We're never gonna get in there. - Yoo-hoo. 314 00:20:33,907 --> 00:20:35,636 - Hi, hi, hi. - Charlene. 315 00:20:35,809 --> 00:20:38,277 - Hey, Charlene. Can you get us in? - Hey. Hey, hey. 316 00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:41,608 Y'all, I didn't bone that bouncer 46 times for nothing. 317 00:20:58,064 --> 00:20:59,929 Let's get Coyote Ugly, y'all. 318 00:21:00,099 --> 00:21:02,863 - Yeah. - Oh, hey, hey! 319 00:21:03,736 --> 00:21:05,431 Hey. I don't like being picked up. 320 00:21:05,939 --> 00:21:07,930 Put me down. Right here. Becky. 321 00:21:08,107 --> 00:21:10,075 Judi! Gayle! 322 00:21:10,243 --> 00:21:11,801 I need to find my friends. 323 00:21:11,978 --> 00:21:14,242 Tequila. Doubles. 324 00:21:14,414 --> 00:21:18,043 Oh, what white wines do you have by the glass? 325 00:21:18,218 --> 00:21:20,948 Hey, Miss Fancy Pants, this ain't the Red Lobster. 326 00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:23,388 Whoo. Here we go. 327 00:21:24,090 --> 00:21:25,785 Hey, I don't touch the hard. 328 00:21:25,959 --> 00:21:27,984 Just drink the damn thing. 329 00:21:33,132 --> 00:21:34,292 How do you drink this? 330 00:21:34,467 --> 00:21:37,527 Honey, I'd drink gasoline if you put a lime in it. 331 00:21:37,704 --> 00:21:40,798 - Another round. - Have you seen this...? 332 00:21:42,642 --> 00:21:45,167 No means no. - Come on, baby. 333 00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:46,740 Come on. - No touching. 334 00:21:46,913 --> 00:21:48,505 - Just looking. - Come on. 335 00:21:48,681 --> 00:21:51,309 Down, boys. No, drop it. 336 00:21:51,484 --> 00:21:52,815 Up, up. 337 00:21:52,986 --> 00:21:55,011 Here we go. Up, up, up. 338 00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:57,179 Look, look. You want a glowstick? 339 00:21:57,357 --> 00:21:59,655 Go get it. Go get it. 340 00:22:00,994 --> 00:22:03,428 That was incredible. 341 00:22:03,596 --> 00:22:05,461 Men are just dogs with thumbs. 342 00:22:05,632 --> 00:22:07,657 Sit down. 343 00:22:14,274 --> 00:22:16,242 What's your name? 344 00:22:16,409 --> 00:22:19,378 - Gayle. - I'm Mason and we're the Sevens. 345 00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:23,505 Seven hot chicks in seven pairs of Seven cutoff jeans. 346 00:22:23,683 --> 00:22:25,480 Ain't nobody fiercer than us. 347 00:22:25,652 --> 00:22:28,450 - My mama thinks I should be a model. - Yeah. 348 00:22:28,621 --> 00:22:32,284 I look good in real life, but in pictures I look even better. 349 00:22:32,458 --> 00:22:35,256 Flawless. - Don't you love my hair? 350 00:22:35,428 --> 00:22:37,362 Super fierce. 351 00:22:49,576 --> 00:22:51,771 I'm so sorry, Gayle. I love you. 352 00:22:51,945 --> 00:22:53,572 I love you. 353 00:22:54,981 --> 00:22:56,949 - Gayle! - I got a lot of dreams. 354 00:22:57,116 --> 00:23:00,552 I'm gonna get this ass on Road Rules, climb Mt. Everett... 355 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:05,152 ...and start a charity to give spray tans to the homeless. 356 00:23:05,858 --> 00:23:08,088 - You wanna dance? - No. 357 00:23:09,529 --> 00:23:12,089 Yes. Yes, I do. 358 00:23:19,305 --> 00:23:22,706 You know what safe sex is? 359 00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:26,311 Dating men who are gay. 360 00:23:28,247 --> 00:23:31,239 But I'm ready to make up for lost time. 361 00:23:48,301 --> 00:23:49,734 You are so sexy. 362 00:23:49,902 --> 00:23:51,301 I know. 363 00:23:52,271 --> 00:23:54,239 Hey, can I join you guys? 364 00:23:54,407 --> 00:23:55,874 I'm game. 365 00:23:56,042 --> 00:23:59,170 One-night stands, threesomes, fourgies. 366 00:23:59,345 --> 00:24:01,313 Hey, it's all good. 367 00:24:01,481 --> 00:24:03,711 Get over here, you dirty little slut. 368 00:24:08,488 --> 00:24:11,013 Sorry. Sorry. 369 00:24:11,891 --> 00:24:13,222 Don't move. Don't move. 370 00:24:13,393 --> 00:24:15,384 - Ashley. - Hey, Ashley. 371 00:24:15,828 --> 00:24:17,887 - Ashley, come here. - What? Come here. 372 00:24:18,064 --> 00:24:19,998 Ashley, don't move. - You have to stay. 373 00:24:20,166 --> 00:24:22,259 Guys, come down here. 374 00:24:22,435 --> 00:24:25,063 I had this girl all wrong. 375 00:24:25,238 --> 00:24:28,207 There's nothing ordinary about her. 376 00:24:28,374 --> 00:24:30,171 And if she'll say yes... 377 00:24:30,343 --> 00:24:34,040 ...I would love for her to be my new chief of staff. 378 00:24:34,213 --> 00:24:35,771 What do you say? 379 00:24:35,948 --> 00:24:39,213 Hybrid cars for everyone. 380 00:24:41,354 --> 00:24:44,016 Excuse me. Ashley, we have totally gotta get out of here. 381 00:24:44,190 --> 00:24:46,658 - Truvy is having an asthma attack. - There he is. 382 00:24:46,826 --> 00:24:48,123 Ashley. 383 00:24:55,601 --> 00:24:57,262 Find Judi. We gotta get out of here. 384 00:24:57,437 --> 00:24:59,530 - Hi, Becky. - No, we gotta get out of here. 385 00:25:04,310 --> 00:25:05,504 Surprise. 386 00:25:06,779 --> 00:25:08,576 Ashley. 387 00:25:09,148 --> 00:25:11,275 - What are you doing here? - Getting jiggy. 388 00:25:11,584 --> 00:25:14,485 I'm about to puke and, like, not on purpose. 389 00:25:14,821 --> 00:25:16,550 Why don't you just leave me alone? 390 00:25:16,723 --> 00:25:19,715 Because I ain't nice. 391 00:25:25,565 --> 00:25:28,193 That girl has been torturing me since freshman year. 392 00:25:28,367 --> 00:25:32,235 - The worst roommate matchup ever. - I have a moist towelette. 393 00:25:32,605 --> 00:25:34,869 - Thank you. - Are you okay? 394 00:25:35,041 --> 00:25:37,168 Her ex-boyfriend has lost his mind. 395 00:25:37,343 --> 00:25:40,335 You know what? If Doug wants trash, I'm gonna give him trash. 396 00:25:40,513 --> 00:25:41,844 What does that mean exactly? 397 00:25:42,014 --> 00:25:45,347 It means tomorrow we're going to the beach to act like total idiots. 398 00:25:45,518 --> 00:25:47,110 I'm sorry, who are you? 399 00:25:47,286 --> 00:25:49,914 I'm Becky St. Germaine. 400 00:25:50,089 --> 00:25:51,386 I'm a college student. 401 00:25:53,392 --> 00:25:55,053 A grad student, and you? 402 00:25:55,728 --> 00:25:58,856 - Lydia, Truvy and Ashley. - Whoo! Whoo! 403 00:25:59,031 --> 00:26:00,692 I'm gonna be a slut. 404 00:26:00,867 --> 00:26:03,529 - A slut. I'm gonna be a slut. - Becky. 405 00:26:03,703 --> 00:26:06,501 You guys horny too? Who's horny? You? 406 00:26:06,672 --> 00:26:08,196 I hate it here, Ashley. 407 00:26:08,374 --> 00:26:09,671 Oh, that's Ashley. 408 00:26:09,842 --> 00:26:11,434 Take me home, I need to barf. 409 00:26:11,611 --> 00:26:13,135 - I need to barf. - Okay. 410 00:26:13,312 --> 00:26:15,280 - Whose shoe is this? - It's your shoe, Judi. 411 00:26:15,448 --> 00:26:17,211 That's bullshit. - All right. 412 00:26:17,383 --> 00:26:18,850 Who wants to do me? 413 00:26:24,824 --> 00:26:26,724 Hey, you guys. 414 00:26:26,893 --> 00:26:29,123 The special today is huevos rancheros. 415 00:26:29,295 --> 00:26:30,990 Yum. 416 00:26:31,164 --> 00:26:33,632 - Just coffee for me. Thank you. - Yeah, me too. 417 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,631 Oh, Judi, are you okay? 418 00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:39,898 Well, it's just huevos rancheros always reminds me of William. 419 00:26:40,473 --> 00:26:43,306 Because he went down on that Hispanic guy? 420 00:26:44,510 --> 00:26:46,705 No, because it was our Sunday tradition. 421 00:26:46,879 --> 00:26:49,677 All right. Judi, you're here to forget about him. 422 00:26:49,849 --> 00:26:51,578 Maybe you should eat something. 423 00:26:51,751 --> 00:26:55,278 No, thanks. The thought of food makes me wanna seriously chunder. 424 00:26:55,454 --> 00:26:58,787 - Chunder? - Oh, yeah, it means to vomit. 425 00:26:58,958 --> 00:27:01,654 This place is opening up a whole new world for me. 426 00:27:01,828 --> 00:27:02,920 You know what I learned? 427 00:27:03,095 --> 00:27:06,963 That the roll of fat that hangs over the jean is called a muffin top. 428 00:27:08,801 --> 00:27:11,895 Our trips are not only fun but educational. 429 00:27:12,071 --> 00:27:14,665 Are we excited about going to the beach today? 430 00:27:14,841 --> 00:27:17,105 That sounds perfect. I just wanna relax. 431 00:27:17,276 --> 00:27:20,074 I just wanna stretch out with a good book, you know? 432 00:27:49,008 --> 00:27:51,476 Go, go, go. 433 00:27:57,049 --> 00:27:58,710 Whoo! Keg stands, y'all. 434 00:27:58,885 --> 00:28:00,443 Judi, let me flip and tap you. 435 00:28:00,620 --> 00:28:02,485 - I don't understand. - Get over here. 436 00:28:03,489 --> 00:28:06,788 All's you gotta do is drink, but don't let it get up your nose... 437 00:28:06,959 --> 00:28:07,983 ...because that hurts. 438 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:09,525 - Let her rip. - Gayle. 439 00:28:09,996 --> 00:28:11,224 It's our protector. 440 00:28:12,632 --> 00:28:15,931 - Why are you dressed like that? - Oh, is it too revealing? 441 00:28:16,102 --> 00:28:18,400 - You look like my nana. - Thank you. 442 00:28:18,571 --> 00:28:19,595 Come with us. 443 00:28:19,772 --> 00:28:21,831 Chug, chug, chug. 444 00:28:23,409 --> 00:28:24,967 I'm gonna go look for Ashley. 445 00:28:30,883 --> 00:28:32,180 I did it! Let's go again! 446 00:28:36,689 --> 00:28:37,951 That's better. 447 00:28:38,257 --> 00:28:39,554 Girl, welcome. 448 00:28:41,227 --> 00:28:42,888 Your abs ain't that bad, by the way. 449 00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:45,587 Oh, my God, thank you. 450 00:28:48,634 --> 00:28:49,999 Why do you litter? 451 00:29:00,313 --> 00:29:02,406 This place is so weird. 452 00:29:05,284 --> 00:29:09,380 Whoo! I wanna see some balls. 453 00:29:09,555 --> 00:29:11,045 What? 454 00:29:16,796 --> 00:29:20,527 A talent show. - Do you guys have any talents? 455 00:29:20,700 --> 00:29:23,362 - I can put my tongue in my nose. - I have no gag reflex. 456 00:29:26,172 --> 00:29:27,833 We are so gonna win this. 457 00:29:28,007 --> 00:29:31,272 Everyone knows you can't spell talent without T and A. 458 00:29:31,944 --> 00:29:32,968 Okay, listen up. 459 00:29:33,145 --> 00:29:35,705 The winner gets 150 drink tickets... 460 00:29:35,881 --> 00:29:40,978 ...a group day of beauty at Texas Tan and 12 bottle-opener keychains. 461 00:29:41,153 --> 00:29:42,916 Oh, my God. 462 00:29:43,089 --> 00:29:44,317 That's the prize? 463 00:29:44,957 --> 00:29:46,618 Gayle, you be the coach. 464 00:29:46,792 --> 00:29:48,760 Oh, no, no, no. I just coach dogs. 465 00:29:48,928 --> 00:29:50,919 And we're the Bad News Beyotches. 466 00:29:51,330 --> 00:29:53,059 Check up on this. 467 00:30:04,677 --> 00:30:06,577 Here's what I want. Give me two lines. 468 00:30:07,346 --> 00:30:09,780 You... Okay, Mason in front. Now, heads up. 469 00:30:10,216 --> 00:30:12,810 Tails back, boobs out, stomachs in. 470 00:30:13,252 --> 00:30:16,483 And give me four booty roundabouts in unison... 471 00:30:16,889 --> 00:30:18,823 ...with extra butt-cheek vibration. 472 00:30:18,991 --> 00:30:20,185 Go. 473 00:30:26,665 --> 00:30:29,031 Whoo! I love it. 474 00:30:29,201 --> 00:30:32,364 I love it a lot. Again. 475 00:30:32,671 --> 00:30:34,138 Yeah! 476 00:30:45,184 --> 00:30:47,152 - You. - Can I keep my T-shirt on? 477 00:30:47,486 --> 00:30:48,680 - Whatever. - Okay. 478 00:30:49,055 --> 00:30:50,920 Oh, God! 479 00:30:54,193 --> 00:30:56,627 - Two against one, that's not fair. - You're right. 480 00:30:58,030 --> 00:30:59,657 Yeah. 481 00:31:01,333 --> 00:31:03,164 I'm allergic to tomatoes. 482 00:31:14,847 --> 00:31:17,441 That girl's gone bonkers. 483 00:31:24,156 --> 00:31:26,351 Excuse me. Excuse me. Let me through. 484 00:31:26,525 --> 00:31:28,254 Kill, kill, kill. 485 00:31:41,340 --> 00:31:44,275 This is really degrading to women. 486 00:31:44,877 --> 00:31:46,469 Really. 487 00:31:48,514 --> 00:31:51,574 Why would anyone wanna wrestle in salsa? 488 00:31:52,084 --> 00:31:54,518 We're human beings, we're not tacos. 489 00:31:58,557 --> 00:32:00,457 Listen, I understand what you're feeling. 490 00:32:00,926 --> 00:32:02,757 I too have recently suffered a loss. 491 00:32:02,928 --> 00:32:05,920 - Your boyfriend dump you too? - No, my cat died. 492 00:32:07,433 --> 00:32:10,493 And I know that the language of letting go is not in that salsa. 493 00:32:10,669 --> 00:32:12,068 Right. 494 00:32:12,838 --> 00:32:14,601 - Body shots? - No. 495 00:32:14,773 --> 00:32:17,207 I'm talking about releasing the spirit of fun... 496 00:32:17,943 --> 00:32:19,968 ...without the display of public nudity. 497 00:32:20,513 --> 00:32:24,973 I'm talking about enjoying ourselves in a real and meaningful way. 498 00:32:25,151 --> 00:32:28,643 I'm talking about girls really going bonkers. 499 00:32:29,188 --> 00:32:30,815 I don't get it. 500 00:32:47,940 --> 00:32:50,636 Look at us all laughing. 501 00:32:57,249 --> 00:32:59,911 See? We don't have to be like everyone else to have fun. 502 00:33:00,085 --> 00:33:01,382 Everyone else? 503 00:33:01,554 --> 00:33:03,784 Burnouts, wastoids and sluts. 504 00:33:17,436 --> 00:33:19,028 I freaking love you. 505 00:33:19,205 --> 00:33:22,732 No, I freaking love you. 506 00:33:22,908 --> 00:33:25,172 Hey, you guys, let's tell each other our secrets. 507 00:33:25,344 --> 00:33:26,436 Yeah. 508 00:33:26,612 --> 00:33:27,670 I can't read. 509 00:33:30,349 --> 00:33:33,477 I have sex with my uncle every Thanksgiving. 510 00:33:36,055 --> 00:33:41,049 You're gonna have to deal with that later. You're gonna have to deal with that later. 511 00:34:24,903 --> 00:34:26,928 Good night, ladies. 512 00:34:42,988 --> 00:34:44,922 Oh, my God. 513 00:34:45,357 --> 00:34:47,484 Oh, my God. 514 00:35:20,292 --> 00:35:21,919 Total walk of shame. 515 00:35:22,728 --> 00:35:25,720 Yeah, you're damn right it's a walk of shame. 516 00:35:25,898 --> 00:35:29,857 Because I just got me some, beyotch. 517 00:35:35,441 --> 00:35:39,104 - Where have you been? - Oh, Mason and I passed out on the beach. 518 00:35:39,978 --> 00:35:41,605 Ladies. 519 00:35:41,780 --> 00:35:43,213 Where have you been? 520 00:35:43,382 --> 00:35:45,247 I had sex... 521 00:35:45,417 --> 00:35:49,046 ...with a straight guy. Yeah, you heard. 522 00:35:49,655 --> 00:35:51,953 One, two, three, snap. 523 00:35:52,124 --> 00:35:54,115 Have you two gone cuckoo-bananas? 524 00:35:54,293 --> 00:35:58,525 Becky, please. Your voice is like daggers in my skull. 525 00:35:58,697 --> 00:36:01,427 I was worried sick about the both... 526 00:36:01,734 --> 00:36:02,928 You had sex? 527 00:36:04,970 --> 00:36:07,302 Got freaky all night. 528 00:36:07,473 --> 00:36:08,667 Tell us everything. 529 00:36:08,841 --> 00:36:12,277 Okay, well, I don't remember much, but I know it was amazing. 530 00:36:12,444 --> 00:36:14,435 We had a really special connection. 531 00:36:14,613 --> 00:36:15,944 You guys... 532 00:36:16,115 --> 00:36:19,175 ...I've never felt this way before. 533 00:36:20,052 --> 00:36:22,486 What's his name? 534 00:36:23,355 --> 00:36:25,448 I don't know. 535 00:36:26,191 --> 00:36:29,820 I can't believe you had sex. 536 00:36:30,429 --> 00:36:32,090 Was it meaningful? 537 00:36:32,264 --> 00:36:34,232 Oh, you guys, he's really special. 538 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,197 Oh, I can't wait for you to meet him. 539 00:36:36,368 --> 00:36:38,199 This place is incredible. 540 00:36:38,370 --> 00:36:41,066 - I'm gonna throw up again. - Awesome. 541 00:36:50,416 --> 00:36:51,747 And time. 542 00:36:53,218 --> 00:36:56,381 This is so not what I was expecting when I came to South Padre. 543 00:36:56,555 --> 00:36:58,989 If my mom saw this, she would totally freak. 544 00:36:59,158 --> 00:37:01,626 - Why? - Are you kidding me? 545 00:37:01,794 --> 00:37:05,355 My mom was Miss Texas, valedictorian. 546 00:37:05,531 --> 00:37:08,227 Now one of the most powerful women in Washington. 547 00:37:08,634 --> 00:37:09,999 Ain't easy being me. 548 00:37:10,402 --> 00:37:12,165 She sounds like a real piece of work. 549 00:37:12,337 --> 00:37:14,202 They call her "The Hatchet." 550 00:37:14,373 --> 00:37:15,704 I don't know who you're talking about. 551 00:37:18,110 --> 00:37:21,102 Excuse me, I have to take this. It's an important call. 552 00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,043 Okay. 553 00:37:25,317 --> 00:37:27,478 - Hello. - Talk to me, Betty. 554 00:37:27,653 --> 00:37:30,986 Ow! Ming Ling, shit. 555 00:37:31,490 --> 00:37:33,788 So my wild horse running you ragged? 556 00:37:35,994 --> 00:37:38,758 - Oh, she's crazy, all right. - Don't screw this up. 557 00:37:38,931 --> 00:37:40,922 Three more days to keep her safe... 558 00:37:41,099 --> 00:37:44,466 - ... and we'll make history. - Oh, don't you worry, I'm so on it. I... 559 00:37:44,636 --> 00:37:46,570 Hello? Hello? 560 00:37:48,874 --> 00:37:51,274 - Good morning, everybody. - Morning? It's 5 p.m. 561 00:37:51,443 --> 00:37:54,105 Well, it's morning somewheres. 562 00:37:54,913 --> 00:37:56,574 Gayle, what are you wearing? 563 00:37:57,015 --> 00:37:58,949 My boo loaned it to me. Slamming, huh? 564 00:37:59,117 --> 00:38:00,141 What's going on here? 565 00:38:00,319 --> 00:38:02,583 It's a magazine-soda-pop- Chex-Mix-pool party. 566 00:38:02,754 --> 00:38:04,119 - Come join us. - Okay. 567 00:38:04,289 --> 00:38:08,783 Y'all, we got a booze cruise in 10 and then the foam party. 568 00:38:09,127 --> 00:38:11,254 - You guys are going to a foam party? - Oh, yeah. 569 00:38:11,430 --> 00:38:14,558 They fill up a whole club with beer foam. It's like living in a keg. 570 00:38:14,733 --> 00:38:16,428 Becky, you have to meet the Sevens. 571 00:38:16,602 --> 00:38:18,934 When you hang with them, you're hot by association. 572 00:38:19,104 --> 00:38:22,005 - You know the Sevens? - We're kind of like the Eights right now. 573 00:38:22,407 --> 00:38:25,240 - So, shorties, you coming with? - No way, Jose. 574 00:38:26,144 --> 00:38:30,547 - Sorry, Judi. - His name was Juan Carlos. 575 00:38:31,717 --> 00:38:33,378 You think maybe I can go with you? 576 00:38:33,552 --> 00:38:36,817 - I have no problem with that. - Don't you have to be on the list, Gayle? 577 00:38:36,989 --> 00:38:39,651 And isn't that list closed? 578 00:38:41,527 --> 00:38:44,462 Yes, I believe that list is closed, Becky. 579 00:38:44,630 --> 00:38:48,157 Y'all, let's motor. This ass ain't getting any higher. 580 00:38:48,333 --> 00:38:49,664 Can I get a "what, what?" 581 00:38:49,835 --> 00:38:51,132 Later-hosen. 582 00:39:04,216 --> 00:39:07,879 Gayle, the Sevens and I have been talking. Four and Five think you're awesome. 583 00:39:08,053 --> 00:39:11,819 Six and Seven think it'd be better if you were taller, and Two had no comment. 584 00:39:11,990 --> 00:39:13,514 I'm, like, really stupid. 585 00:39:13,692 --> 00:39:14,716 Oh, it's okay. 586 00:39:14,893 --> 00:39:17,953 And I... I think you are almost there. 587 00:39:18,130 --> 00:39:20,394 Oh, my God. You guys. 588 00:39:21,300 --> 00:39:23,131 I can't feel my face. 589 00:39:27,439 --> 00:39:30,408 Oh, my God, that's the guy from last night. 590 00:39:30,576 --> 00:39:33,272 That is some grade-A baloney pony. 591 00:39:33,445 --> 00:39:35,310 Go talk to him. 592 00:39:39,251 --> 00:39:41,242 See, I told you we'd get in. 593 00:39:41,420 --> 00:39:43,888 Doug's gotta be in here somewhere. 594 00:39:45,757 --> 00:39:49,022 Lydia? Lydia! 595 00:39:49,194 --> 00:39:50,889 Lydia! 596 00:39:51,063 --> 00:39:52,690 Lydia! 597 00:39:57,536 --> 00:39:59,026 Hey. 598 00:39:59,471 --> 00:40:00,495 Hey. 599 00:40:06,979 --> 00:40:08,742 - What's up? - Nothing. 600 00:40:09,548 --> 00:40:11,277 We cool? 601 00:40:14,052 --> 00:40:15,679 Yeah, yeah. 602 00:40:16,922 --> 00:40:18,253 Hey... 603 00:40:19,725 --> 00:40:21,249 Thank you. 604 00:40:46,918 --> 00:40:48,385 Hi. 605 00:40:56,461 --> 00:40:58,952 All right, maestro. Let's get this party started. 606 00:40:59,131 --> 00:41:00,564 What's up, suckers? 607 00:41:01,333 --> 00:41:05,429 My name is Gayle and I'm the party master. Woo, woo. 608 00:41:05,604 --> 00:41:07,663 Do you guys like line dancing? 609 00:41:07,839 --> 00:41:08,897 No. 610 00:41:09,074 --> 00:41:12,009 - Yeah. - Yeah, that's my girls. 611 00:41:12,377 --> 00:41:13,935 We're gonna get it going tonight. 612 00:41:14,112 --> 00:41:18,139 We're gonna blow your mother-humping mind with a thing called electric slide. 613 00:41:18,316 --> 00:41:20,147 Maestro. 614 00:41:24,289 --> 00:41:26,348 Whoo! 615 00:41:26,525 --> 00:41:28,755 That's right. Get it going. 616 00:41:31,463 --> 00:41:32,589 Yeah. 617 00:41:33,498 --> 00:41:35,625 All right. You guys aren't feeling it, huh? 618 00:41:35,801 --> 00:41:36,825 Here's some incentive. 619 00:41:37,002 --> 00:41:39,300 How about you come up and do the electric slide... 620 00:41:39,471 --> 00:41:41,098 ...to get your free keychain. 621 00:41:43,508 --> 00:41:44,998 Give me those damn keychains. 622 00:41:45,177 --> 00:41:47,475 Oh, they really like keychains. 623 00:42:03,495 --> 00:42:05,156 Hey. 624 00:42:09,601 --> 00:42:11,364 Spring break forever! 625 00:42:16,074 --> 00:42:18,099 I'm flying. 626 00:42:18,276 --> 00:42:19,800 Go, go, go. 627 00:42:21,346 --> 00:42:24,907 Girl, you're a Team Seven now. 628 00:42:25,083 --> 00:42:27,711 I'm 35 years old. 629 00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:32,479 I'm flying. 630 00:42:51,810 --> 00:42:54,040 Chug, chug. Chug, chug. 631 00:42:54,212 --> 00:42:57,272 - What time is it? - Almost dinner. 632 00:43:02,053 --> 00:43:04,453 I must have blacked out again. 633 00:43:04,623 --> 00:43:05,954 Me too. 634 00:43:06,124 --> 00:43:08,684 You guys have been drunk for three straight days. 635 00:43:08,860 --> 00:43:10,725 Oh, girl, don't hate. 636 00:43:11,863 --> 00:43:13,194 Stop talking like that. 637 00:43:13,365 --> 00:43:16,698 Becky, there's this party tonight, beer fountains. 638 00:43:16,868 --> 00:43:20,599 It's like the Trevi in Rome but with beer. 639 00:43:20,772 --> 00:43:22,205 You're loaded, Judi. 640 00:43:22,641 --> 00:43:24,609 Roll with us. 641 00:43:24,776 --> 00:43:26,243 What is going on here? 642 00:43:26,678 --> 00:43:28,475 I had sex with a stranger... 643 00:43:28,647 --> 00:43:31,047 ...and now we're falling in love. 644 00:43:31,216 --> 00:43:34,845 Yeah, and I mounted an Abercrombie model. 645 00:43:35,020 --> 00:43:37,488 He was 19 years old. 646 00:43:37,656 --> 00:43:38,918 We're different women here. 647 00:43:39,090 --> 00:43:41,251 - Yeah, so come with us. - Yes. 648 00:43:41,426 --> 00:43:44,054 Oh, wow, my tan is out of control. 649 00:43:45,764 --> 00:43:47,254 I have a job to do. 650 00:43:48,233 --> 00:43:49,632 Your job is done. 651 00:43:49,801 --> 00:43:52,599 Yeah, Ashley's a nerdball. She ain't making no Page Six. 652 00:43:52,771 --> 00:43:54,830 You're missing your second chance. 653 00:43:55,006 --> 00:43:56,974 Becky, it's not the same without you. 654 00:43:57,142 --> 00:43:58,166 We're a trio. 655 00:43:58,343 --> 00:44:01,972 We're like the Three Musketeers or Wilson Phillips. 656 00:44:02,147 --> 00:44:03,808 True that. 657 00:44:03,982 --> 00:44:07,213 We've been reborn, Becky. 658 00:44:10,522 --> 00:44:12,581 Holler back, girl. 659 00:44:45,957 --> 00:44:48,926 Ashley. Come on, let us in. 660 00:44:49,094 --> 00:44:50,459 Forget about Doug. 661 00:44:50,629 --> 00:44:52,654 She's been in there all day. 662 00:44:52,831 --> 00:44:54,731 Do you wanna play mahjong? 663 00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:57,494 - Yeah, that's a good idea. - Yeah, yeah. 664 00:45:00,171 --> 00:45:02,765 No, thank you, ladies. 665 00:45:02,941 --> 00:45:04,101 I'm out. 666 00:45:04,609 --> 00:45:06,236 Hey, Mr. Man. 667 00:45:06,411 --> 00:45:10,745 Get me a shot of anything and whatever my little friend here wants too. 668 00:45:10,916 --> 00:45:12,178 Yeah, all right. 669 00:45:12,350 --> 00:45:14,341 Me likey when the lady buys. 670 00:45:14,519 --> 00:45:16,282 Well, you know... 671 00:45:22,994 --> 00:45:24,552 Down it, wench. 672 00:45:24,729 --> 00:45:26,594 You guys, this game is so boring. 673 00:45:26,765 --> 00:45:28,824 We've been playing it for, like, two hours. 674 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:30,827 We don't know any other games. 675 00:45:31,469 --> 00:45:33,733 I know a game. Let's play the Movie Numbers Game. 676 00:45:33,905 --> 00:45:37,500 It's super fun. You say the titles of movies that have numbers from one to 10. 677 00:45:37,676 --> 00:45:39,735 I'll start. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. 678 00:45:39,911 --> 00:45:41,401 Two Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. 679 00:45:41,579 --> 00:45:43,706 - Numbers what to what? - One to 10. 680 00:45:43,882 --> 00:45:45,440 Hey, I threw up four times today. 681 00:45:45,717 --> 00:45:48,413 - You know, that's very unhealthy. - So is being fat. 682 00:45:48,586 --> 00:45:51,646 Fat people are nice people, okay? 683 00:45:51,823 --> 00:45:54,121 People are fat for all different reasons. 684 00:45:54,292 --> 00:45:56,556 You have a slow metabolism or a thyroid problem... 685 00:45:56,728 --> 00:45:59,663 ...or you're an adult and your parents decide to get a divorce. 686 00:45:59,831 --> 00:46:03,892 And you find yourself in your grandma's laundry room eating brownie mix... 687 00:46:04,069 --> 00:46:05,229 ...and crying. 688 00:46:05,403 --> 00:46:07,928 What, are we all supposed to be the same? That's crazy. 689 00:46:08,106 --> 00:46:10,472 That's just crazy talk. 690 00:46:12,711 --> 00:46:14,542 Gayle. 691 00:46:14,713 --> 00:46:18,410 You are so wise. You are like a big sister. 692 00:46:19,351 --> 00:46:21,410 Yeah, we are starting to become like family. 693 00:46:21,586 --> 00:46:22,746 Absolutely. 694 00:46:23,788 --> 00:46:27,417 - Yeah. - Oh, and you're like the one we adopted. 695 00:46:27,592 --> 00:46:29,526 Aw. 696 00:46:40,005 --> 00:46:42,769 You look just like my R.A. 697 00:46:43,308 --> 00:46:47,335 I haven't been touched by a man since Clinton was in office. 698 00:46:53,685 --> 00:46:55,710 Hey, I need to talk to you. 699 00:46:55,887 --> 00:46:57,946 Please, I just... I need... Just one second. 700 00:46:59,057 --> 00:47:02,652 Look, nothing was gonna happen with me and that guy over there. 701 00:47:02,827 --> 00:47:05,591 Yeah, you know, it's really none of my business. 702 00:47:06,498 --> 00:47:09,763 Don't be mad, please. You've gotta trust me. 703 00:47:11,202 --> 00:47:13,500 I'm just trying to take a leak. 704 00:47:13,671 --> 00:47:15,332 Why are you being so cold? 705 00:47:18,243 --> 00:47:19,301 I don't even know you. 706 00:47:19,911 --> 00:47:23,608 Yeah? Well, I feel like I don't even know you anymore either. 707 00:47:24,649 --> 00:47:27,618 This is why I'm not a slut. I just don't have what it takes. 708 00:47:28,286 --> 00:47:30,948 Because when I love, I love hard. 709 00:47:31,122 --> 00:47:33,955 But you, you're just like every other guy here, right? 710 00:47:34,125 --> 00:47:37,754 Y'all just see me as some piece of ass! Well, guess what, homeboy... 711 00:47:37,929 --> 00:47:40,955 ...I ain't your sex robot. 712 00:47:42,667 --> 00:47:44,362 Move it! 713 00:47:46,838 --> 00:47:50,672 Good Lord, look at that. That is pathetic. 714 00:47:50,842 --> 00:47:52,673 It's like putting lipstick on a turd. 715 00:47:52,844 --> 00:47:56,007 Guys, I have a good idea. Let's make her over. 716 00:47:56,347 --> 00:47:58,781 You know, it'll be a fun project, like I was. 717 00:47:58,950 --> 00:48:01,384 Gayle, she is pure nasty. 718 00:48:01,553 --> 00:48:04,044 You, you were a diamond in the rough. 719 00:48:04,222 --> 00:48:06,053 She kind of is too. She's really smart. 720 00:48:06,224 --> 00:48:09,853 And, you know, her mother might be vice president next week. 721 00:48:10,795 --> 00:48:12,854 She might be famous and be in magazines. 722 00:48:13,031 --> 00:48:16,398 Oh, my God. Let's make friends. 723 00:48:16,568 --> 00:48:18,365 She could get the Sevens in Us Weekly. 724 00:48:21,773 --> 00:48:25,072 - No, that wasn't why I told... - Yoo-hoo. Ash. You come here. 725 00:48:25,243 --> 00:48:27,871 Damn, girl, you clean up real nice. 726 00:48:28,046 --> 00:48:29,980 - Yeah, you really like this? - I do. 727 00:48:30,148 --> 00:48:32,776 - Okay. - Listen, honey, I am sorry. 728 00:48:32,951 --> 00:48:36,409 I have matured so much this past week. I am tired of being a jerk. 729 00:48:36,788 --> 00:48:39,382 You and me need a fresh start. Let me get you a drink. 730 00:48:39,557 --> 00:48:40,717 Hi. 731 00:48:40,892 --> 00:48:43,224 Hey, Ashley, let's go play a hot game of Scrabble. 732 00:48:43,394 --> 00:48:45,624 I am not liking you that much right now. 733 00:48:46,097 --> 00:48:47,359 Let's chug. 734 00:48:49,701 --> 00:48:52,966 Spring break tears people apart. 735 00:48:53,338 --> 00:48:55,806 - What's she doing here? - Go get Becky. 736 00:48:56,007 --> 00:48:57,599 I said, are you guys ready? 737 00:48:57,775 --> 00:49:00,471 It's time for the wet T-shirt contest. 738 00:49:00,645 --> 00:49:02,772 Ladies, come on up. 739 00:49:06,918 --> 00:49:07,942 All right. 740 00:49:08,119 --> 00:49:09,143 Mason. Mason. 741 00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:11,618 You've gotta enter the wet T-shirt contest. 742 00:49:11,789 --> 00:49:13,086 Yeah. 743 00:49:14,759 --> 00:49:17,250 What...? What's...? What are...? What's going on here? 744 00:49:17,929 --> 00:49:19,226 I'm partying. 745 00:49:19,797 --> 00:49:22,960 - You don't party. - Nor should she. Yay! 746 00:49:23,368 --> 00:49:25,359 Dude, I am a total party girl. 747 00:49:25,537 --> 00:49:27,266 Somebody give me another drink. 748 00:49:27,438 --> 00:49:29,998 - Doug, get us another round. - Know what? Make that two. 749 00:49:30,175 --> 00:49:32,439 Let's Padre, people! 750 00:49:33,178 --> 00:49:35,237 Ashley, I know you want him back. 751 00:49:35,780 --> 00:49:37,975 Believe me, I am nothing to him. 752 00:49:38,149 --> 00:49:41,482 You gotta jump-start that man. Give him what he wants. 753 00:49:41,653 --> 00:49:43,416 If you shake it, he will come. 754 00:49:43,588 --> 00:49:47,684 No. No, let's not shake anything. Whoo! 755 00:49:47,859 --> 00:49:49,759 It's wet T-shirt time. 756 00:49:53,231 --> 00:49:55,426 Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, wait. 757 00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:57,625 Remember your Women's Studies class. 758 00:49:57,802 --> 00:50:00,032 And you remember what team you're on. 759 00:50:00,205 --> 00:50:01,729 Girls, get your cameras. 760 00:50:03,575 --> 00:50:04,974 Hey. Hey. 761 00:50:05,743 --> 00:50:09,076 Ashley's been skanked by the Sevens. 762 00:50:09,247 --> 00:50:11,477 Bye, I'll see you later. 763 00:50:20,158 --> 00:50:21,489 Ashley. 764 00:50:21,659 --> 00:50:24,822 Ashley. Ashley. Down, girl. 765 00:50:27,699 --> 00:50:29,326 Move. 766 00:50:29,567 --> 00:50:30,966 What's happening? 767 00:50:31,135 --> 00:50:33,660 They found out her mother might be famous. 768 00:50:33,838 --> 00:50:35,032 - Who told her? - I did. 769 00:50:35,206 --> 00:50:37,538 We tell each other everything, that's how it works. 770 00:50:37,709 --> 00:50:39,006 - Gayle. - Ashley! 771 00:50:39,510 --> 00:50:41,171 That's my girl. 772 00:51:00,031 --> 00:51:02,693 Ashley, you don't have to do this. 773 00:51:02,867 --> 00:51:04,198 You're not a Mason. 774 00:51:04,369 --> 00:51:06,269 I am now. 775 00:51:06,871 --> 00:51:08,566 What would the senator say? 776 00:51:10,742 --> 00:51:12,767 - The senator? - Yeah, your mother. 777 00:51:12,944 --> 00:51:14,775 My mother? 778 00:51:15,546 --> 00:51:17,480 Your brother. 779 00:51:18,016 --> 00:51:20,541 - She sent you, didn't she?! - No, no, I... 780 00:51:21,786 --> 00:51:24,584 I should have known those wrinkles weren't from the sun! 781 00:51:28,192 --> 00:51:30,422 I thought we were friends! 782 00:51:42,006 --> 00:51:44,372 Put me down. - I'm sorry, I had to do it. 783 00:51:44,542 --> 00:51:47,136 Judi, Gayle, I'm going to jail. 784 00:51:47,312 --> 00:51:48,643 Hey, hey. Let go of me. 785 00:51:50,381 --> 00:51:51,439 Hey, hey, hey, be strong. Be strong. 786 00:51:51,616 --> 00:51:53,777 Stop singing that song. 787 00:51:55,219 --> 00:51:56,880 Oh, does this mean we have to leave? 788 00:51:57,055 --> 00:51:58,545 Come on. 789 00:51:59,090 --> 00:52:01,058 I don't know. 790 00:52:01,225 --> 00:52:03,125 Oh, my God. Is she dead? 791 00:52:03,695 --> 00:52:06,129 Okay, I'll deal with this. You go to jail. 792 00:52:06,664 --> 00:52:09,758 This would not be happening at the Wimmin's Music Festival. 793 00:52:10,268 --> 00:52:11,792 Hi. 794 00:52:11,969 --> 00:52:15,132 Come on, old gal, here we go. All right. 795 00:52:15,306 --> 00:52:18,764 Christina Aguilera, what are you doing here? 796 00:52:23,481 --> 00:52:25,608 I hate you, Becky. 797 00:52:26,517 --> 00:52:29,111 - I feel really bad. - I feel like ass. 798 00:52:29,287 --> 00:52:30,447 You smell like ass. 799 00:52:31,389 --> 00:52:32,913 I was just doing my job. 800 00:52:33,091 --> 00:52:34,524 I thought you were my friend. 801 00:52:35,727 --> 00:52:37,354 - I am your friend. - No, you're not. 802 00:52:37,528 --> 00:52:39,826 You're just a butt-sucking liar. 803 00:52:40,231 --> 00:52:42,756 That sound like Deion, don't it? 804 00:52:42,934 --> 00:52:44,526 You're the one lying to your mom. 805 00:52:44,702 --> 00:52:46,932 Mama-love knows no bounds, honey. 806 00:52:47,105 --> 00:52:49,369 God bless all the mamas. 807 00:52:50,375 --> 00:52:51,706 Look who's talking. 808 00:52:52,176 --> 00:52:54,167 You're the one trying to impress her. 809 00:52:54,345 --> 00:52:57,508 Let me guess. She told you to grow a pair of nuts. 810 00:52:57,682 --> 00:52:59,445 Oh, I hate that word. 811 00:52:59,617 --> 00:53:01,448 Yeah, they're nasty. 812 00:53:03,755 --> 00:53:05,188 If you'd just... 813 00:53:05,356 --> 00:53:07,347 If we all accept ourselves... 814 00:53:07,525 --> 00:53:09,993 ...the way that we are, we'll be so much happier. 815 00:53:10,161 --> 00:53:11,150 - Word. - Amen. 816 00:53:11,329 --> 00:53:12,728 Like you and your friends? 817 00:53:14,799 --> 00:53:16,630 I miss my babies. 818 00:53:16,801 --> 00:53:18,826 I miss my babies. 819 00:53:31,983 --> 00:53:34,474 First of all, this place is disgust. 820 00:53:34,652 --> 00:53:38,850 Second of all, what are you doing at spring break anyway? 821 00:53:39,056 --> 00:53:42,082 Catholic school G. I love. 822 00:53:43,294 --> 00:53:44,818 What are you doing here? 823 00:53:46,030 --> 00:53:48,055 I want a second chance. 824 00:53:48,232 --> 00:53:49,392 Come home. 825 00:53:51,769 --> 00:53:54,738 What about your massage? 826 00:53:57,375 --> 00:54:00,139 I love women. 827 00:54:00,311 --> 00:54:04,509 I love their hair, I love their smooth skin. 828 00:54:04,682 --> 00:54:07,446 I'm a huge fan of those. 829 00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:11,220 I really wanna believe that. 830 00:54:11,722 --> 00:54:13,451 Then do. 831 00:54:15,893 --> 00:54:18,691 Look, I need to go. I have to go bail Becky out of jail. 832 00:54:18,863 --> 00:54:21,923 - You girls went craze, huh? - You don't even know. 833 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:26,265 Jude, the firm dinner's this weekend. 834 00:54:26,471 --> 00:54:28,200 I could really use you by my side. 835 00:54:28,406 --> 00:54:32,206 - Why are you doing this to me? - Because people can't live alone forever. 836 00:54:32,376 --> 00:54:34,810 Judi, look. 837 00:54:34,979 --> 00:54:36,139 Let's have the wed. 838 00:54:36,814 --> 00:54:42,377 And then after, we'll have a really nice life "togeth." 839 00:54:44,922 --> 00:54:48,119 Every spring, this place, she flares up like a cold sore. 840 00:54:48,292 --> 00:54:50,089 And I'm back for more. You know... 841 00:54:50,261 --> 00:54:54,823 ...the kids and the sex and the booze, you think it'll go on forever. 842 00:54:54,999 --> 00:55:00,596 But it's like one of them videos, you know, of a fireplace that you put on your TV. 843 00:55:00,771 --> 00:55:04,639 And, like, no matter how close you get to the screen... 844 00:55:04,809 --> 00:55:07,676 ...it's never gonna warm you up. 845 00:55:09,046 --> 00:55:13,244 I just wanted to be a stylist to the stars. 846 00:55:13,417 --> 00:55:15,885 - Oh, you still have time. - Do you think so? 847 00:55:16,053 --> 00:55:17,520 - Yeah. - You do? 848 00:55:17,688 --> 00:55:18,712 Yeah. 849 00:55:18,890 --> 00:55:20,881 Oh, hello there, fine fellow. 850 00:55:21,826 --> 00:55:24,090 - Who is this? - Oh, honey, that's a tree. 851 00:55:24,262 --> 00:55:26,958 My name is Charlene. 852 00:55:28,900 --> 00:55:31,630 What are you wearing? 853 00:55:33,538 --> 00:55:35,130 - All right. - I love him. 854 00:55:35,306 --> 00:55:36,568 - Yeah. - Don't touch me. 855 00:55:36,741 --> 00:55:38,606 - Okay. - Please touch me. 856 00:55:38,776 --> 00:55:39,936 - All right. - Thank you. 857 00:55:40,111 --> 00:55:41,806 Here we go. 858 00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:44,680 - Let's just stay here for a while. - You got it. 859 00:55:44,849 --> 00:55:46,316 - Okay, all right. - Okay. 860 00:55:55,293 --> 00:55:57,523 All right, ladies, you can go. 861 00:55:58,696 --> 00:56:01,688 - Judi, thank God. - Thank you. 862 00:56:01,866 --> 00:56:04,096 You guys, we have a little bit of a problem. 863 00:56:06,837 --> 00:56:07,861 Over here, over here. 864 00:56:08,973 --> 00:56:12,500 Ashley. - All right, that's enough. 865 00:56:12,677 --> 00:56:14,941 - Give the lady some room. - Can I get a comment? 866 00:56:15,112 --> 00:56:19,481 - There will be an official statement later. - That's the girl from the wet T-shirt contest. 867 00:56:19,650 --> 00:56:22,016 Right here, right here. - I am not a girl. 868 00:56:22,186 --> 00:56:24,051 I am a woman. 869 00:56:24,221 --> 00:56:26,052 - Now let us through. - Ashley, over here. 870 00:56:26,524 --> 00:56:29,982 After several Long Island iced teas, a strip show and a bar brawl... 871 00:56:30,161 --> 00:56:32,857 ... Ashley Hartmann, daughter of Senator Kay Bee Hartmann... 872 00:56:33,030 --> 00:56:35,658 ... potential vice-presidential appointee, was arrested... 873 00:56:35,833 --> 00:56:38,324 ... after spring-breaking on South Padre Island. 874 00:56:39,203 --> 00:56:42,104 Ashley's troubles couldn't come at a more inopportune moment... 875 00:56:42,273 --> 00:56:45,640 ... for the potential vice president, as the president is two days away... 876 00:56:45,810 --> 00:56:47,471 ... from announcing his selection. 877 00:56:47,645 --> 00:56:48,669 Motherf... 878 00:56:48,846 --> 00:56:51,906 Ashley kept, like, chugging. And I was all like, "Stop." 879 00:56:52,083 --> 00:56:53,380 And she was all like, "No." 880 00:56:53,551 --> 00:56:56,019 And then all of a sudden, she just starts thrashing... 881 00:56:56,187 --> 00:57:00,180 ... on this real unattractive lady, and I'm, like, thinking: 882 00:57:00,358 --> 00:57:03,759 " Oh, my God. Drinking and public displays of sex... 883 00:57:03,928 --> 00:57:07,420 - ... is, like, real bad for women. " - Can we turn this off, please, somebody? 884 00:57:07,598 --> 00:57:09,862 Just turn it off. Thank you. 885 00:57:21,012 --> 00:57:22,343 Let's pack it in and leave. 886 00:57:23,681 --> 00:57:26,115 What? No, I'm not going anywheres. 887 00:57:26,283 --> 00:57:28,478 We got two days of partying left, right, Judi? 888 00:57:28,886 --> 00:57:31,377 Actually, I need to go too. 889 00:57:31,822 --> 00:57:35,883 You guys, William and I reconciled. 890 00:57:36,060 --> 00:57:37,254 We are gonna get married. 891 00:57:38,729 --> 00:57:40,754 Sweetie, he's as gay as a goose. 892 00:57:40,931 --> 00:57:43,126 Mason says there's no such thing as gay men. 893 00:57:43,300 --> 00:57:46,497 - Just guys that haven't met her yet. - Enough with the Masons already. 894 00:57:46,671 --> 00:57:48,935 Oh, come on, don't be bagging on my girls. 895 00:57:49,106 --> 00:57:50,733 Hey, I thought we were your girls. 896 00:57:51,308 --> 00:57:52,536 Yeah. No, you are. 897 00:57:52,710 --> 00:57:56,168 Just the Sevens asked me to perform with them in the talent show... 898 00:57:56,347 --> 00:57:58,577 ...so I think I'm finally gonna win. 899 00:57:58,749 --> 00:58:00,580 I think your cornrows are too tight. 900 00:58:00,751 --> 00:58:03,219 How can you think about getting on a stage without us? 901 00:58:03,387 --> 00:58:05,218 Maybe you didn't hear me. I want to win. 902 00:58:05,389 --> 00:58:08,153 You haven't gotten sun here, you've gotten sun-damaged. 903 00:58:09,293 --> 00:58:11,318 Jiffy Pop. 904 00:58:11,495 --> 00:58:12,587 Ouch. 905 00:58:12,763 --> 00:58:16,164 You guys, focus. I just said I'm getting married. 906 00:58:16,333 --> 00:58:18,665 Now, why can't you two just be happy for me? 907 00:58:18,836 --> 00:58:21,498 - Judi, he's a gay. - Judi, he's a gay. 908 00:58:21,906 --> 00:58:23,498 Let this be a lesson to you girls. 909 00:58:23,674 --> 00:58:27,405 Never base your self-esteem on the validation from men. 910 00:58:27,578 --> 00:58:29,375 Or women. 911 00:58:29,547 --> 00:58:31,481 I might have low self-esteem... 912 00:58:31,649 --> 00:58:34,277 ...but at least I'm not rocking the gaucho pants. 913 00:58:35,019 --> 00:58:37,044 Honey gave me these pants. 914 00:58:37,221 --> 00:58:39,280 - For my 30th birthday. - You know what, Becky? 915 00:58:39,457 --> 00:58:43,416 She didn't give you those pants. Know why? Because cats can't give gifts, okay? 916 00:58:43,594 --> 00:58:45,255 Judi, tell her. She's delusional. 917 00:58:45,429 --> 00:58:48,296 Tell her, Judi. We can't spend every night playing Pictionary. 918 00:58:48,466 --> 00:58:49,490 You bought that game. 919 00:58:49,667 --> 00:58:52,534 - She bought that game. - Give me a break. Judi, pick a side. 920 00:58:52,703 --> 00:58:53,897 - Pick a side. - Pick a side. 921 00:58:54,071 --> 00:58:55,595 - Pick a side. - Pick a side. 922 00:58:55,773 --> 00:58:57,968 You guys, I don't need to pick a side... 923 00:58:58,242 --> 00:59:00,506 ...because I am getting married. 924 00:59:01,445 --> 00:59:05,040 And it will be a small, private affair. 925 00:59:05,216 --> 00:59:07,878 I'll be at the Hilton with my fiancé. 926 00:59:09,987 --> 00:59:12,683 You hear that? That's the sound of the party train. 927 00:59:12,857 --> 00:59:16,020 And this gal's gonna be on it. So peace. 928 00:59:19,230 --> 00:59:21,357 I'm sorry you had to see that. 929 00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:24,864 Let's get the hell out of here. 930 00:59:28,339 --> 00:59:30,330 Ashley, aren't you coming? 931 00:59:33,010 --> 00:59:34,602 No. 932 00:59:35,146 --> 00:59:36,636 What? 933 00:59:39,717 --> 00:59:43,813 Are we really gonna let those Seven bitches run us out of town? 934 00:59:44,054 --> 00:59:45,919 They're kind of the Eights now. 935 00:59:46,257 --> 00:59:47,986 I wanna enter in that talent show. 936 00:59:48,325 --> 00:59:52,523 I heard that sentence in college once. It ruined my life. 937 00:59:52,696 --> 00:59:54,220 Becky. 938 00:59:54,398 --> 00:59:56,093 Aren't you tired of being a doormat? 939 00:59:56,433 --> 01:00:00,062 Letting the Masons of the world just win all the time? 940 01:00:00,437 --> 01:00:04,339 This isn't just a talent show. This is war. 941 01:00:06,043 --> 01:00:10,446 Becky, you are not a cautionary tale. 942 01:00:11,849 --> 01:00:12,873 She's right. 943 01:00:13,918 --> 01:00:16,716 Let's take back the beach. 944 01:00:25,596 --> 01:00:27,587 - Charlene. - Oh, hi. 945 01:00:27,765 --> 01:00:29,892 We're starting a band. 946 01:00:30,067 --> 01:00:32,194 And I need your help. 947 01:00:32,369 --> 01:00:34,360 You need me? 948 01:00:54,792 --> 01:00:56,885 Yeah, hey. 949 01:00:57,061 --> 01:01:00,519 Stop. You know what? That viola cannot handle the melody. 950 01:01:00,698 --> 01:01:02,427 We need someone on keyboards. 951 01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:06,297 My cousin Lavonne plays the piano down at the church. We could give her a call. 952 01:01:06,470 --> 01:01:09,997 Oh, but she's such an alcoholic. Yeah, it's so sad. 953 01:01:12,910 --> 01:01:14,275 Ashley. 954 01:01:14,445 --> 01:01:18,108 Oh, my God. Everybody's talking about you like you're some big star. 955 01:01:19,250 --> 01:01:21,480 I've decided to take you back. 956 01:01:22,553 --> 01:01:24,544 - Oh, gosh, really? - Really. 957 01:01:25,589 --> 01:01:27,216 You're the only girl for me. 958 01:01:27,391 --> 01:01:28,858 Oh, Douglas. 959 01:01:30,928 --> 01:01:32,361 Your mole's growing back. 960 01:02:08,098 --> 01:02:09,827 Ugh. 961 01:02:17,174 --> 01:02:19,506 On the left. All right, good. 962 01:02:21,145 --> 01:02:23,010 Got that. 963 01:02:25,249 --> 01:02:28,184 Welcome to the 37th Annual All-Girl Talent Show. 964 01:02:28,352 --> 01:02:30,786 I'm Dan, and you're about to see a lot of naughty. 965 01:02:30,955 --> 01:02:33,423 But first, let's say hello to our judges. 966 01:02:33,590 --> 01:02:35,990 Christopher Knight, Bruce Vilanch and La La. 967 01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:38,685 Ladies, five minutes to get to that table and register. 968 01:02:38,862 --> 01:02:41,262 So let's make that happen. Get it on! I'm Dan. 969 01:02:42,900 --> 01:02:45,130 Are we too late to sign up for the talent show? 970 01:02:45,302 --> 01:02:46,826 - Just made it. - Drink it. 971 01:02:47,004 --> 01:02:50,167 Lavonne, drink it. You have got to focus on the music. 972 01:02:50,541 --> 01:02:54,033 Dear God, thank you for making us sexy. 973 01:02:54,211 --> 01:02:56,611 We love you. Jesus is the best. 974 01:02:57,081 --> 01:02:58,605 And God bless our troops... 975 01:02:58,782 --> 01:03:02,912 ...the unborn, and all Sevens for all mankind. 976 01:03:03,087 --> 01:03:06,454 - Amen. - Praise him. 977 01:03:07,024 --> 01:03:09,049 It's so weird you guys are religious. 978 01:03:09,226 --> 01:03:10,818 Gayle. 979 01:03:12,296 --> 01:03:15,129 On the outside, I see you've changed. 980 01:03:16,433 --> 01:03:17,491 How are you? 981 01:03:17,668 --> 01:03:20,068 - Get away from us. - Good luck, Gayle. 982 01:03:21,405 --> 01:03:23,270 Let the show begin. 983 01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:26,932 Our first contestants come straight from the Pan-Asia Club of Florida State. 984 01:03:27,344 --> 01:03:30,643 The Hoochie Minh. 985 01:03:51,502 --> 01:03:55,029 And for the flight, I brought a copy of... Wait for it. 986 01:03:55,406 --> 01:03:57,636 Steel Magnoles. 987 01:03:57,808 --> 01:04:00,299 Oh. Yay. 988 01:04:00,477 --> 01:04:01,603 You look good, Jude. 989 01:04:02,513 --> 01:04:03,912 Really pretty. 990 01:04:04,081 --> 01:04:06,481 - You think? - Yes. 991 01:04:07,184 --> 01:04:09,152 - Hey. - Yes? 992 01:04:09,319 --> 01:04:12,584 Let's go over to that bathroom over there and do it. 993 01:04:12,756 --> 01:04:14,348 Jude, you just went. 994 01:04:14,525 --> 01:04:16,993 No, I mean do it, like throw me up against a wall... 995 01:04:17,161 --> 01:04:19,026 ...and call me your dirty little slut. 996 01:04:19,596 --> 01:04:20,654 You're talking craze. 997 01:04:23,300 --> 01:04:25,564 - We have a problem, William. - What's that, Baby G? 998 01:04:26,003 --> 01:04:28,403 We don't have sex ever. 999 01:04:34,912 --> 01:04:36,539 Are you thirsty? 1000 01:04:36,713 --> 01:04:38,806 Because I am thirsty. 1001 01:04:41,351 --> 01:04:42,648 - I can't do this. - What? 1002 01:04:42,820 --> 01:04:44,185 I can't go back with you. 1003 01:04:44,354 --> 01:04:45,912 - Come again? - I can't marry you. 1004 01:04:46,090 --> 01:04:47,318 One more time. 1005 01:04:47,491 --> 01:04:49,959 How can I make you understand? 1006 01:04:50,227 --> 01:04:52,957 Okay, here's the "sitch," all right? 1007 01:04:53,130 --> 01:04:55,394 I'm at a real crucial "mome" in my life... 1008 01:04:55,566 --> 01:05:00,435 ...and I'm not just gonna settle for half a "relaish." 1009 01:05:00,604 --> 01:05:02,333 I've still got a "fuetch." 1010 01:05:02,506 --> 01:05:06,135 And, William, truth be T... 1011 01:05:06,443 --> 01:05:08,070 ...you're a total 'mo. 1012 01:05:31,969 --> 01:05:35,427 Hoochie Minh. Give it up for the Hoochie Minh. 1013 01:05:35,606 --> 01:05:38,734 Hoochie Minh, Hoochie Minh, Hoochie Minh. 1014 01:06:13,777 --> 01:06:15,574 Take it off! 1015 01:06:15,746 --> 01:06:18,647 - We are so much hotter than that. - Mm-hm. 1016 01:06:18,815 --> 01:06:21,113 We're so gonna win this. 1017 01:06:21,418 --> 01:06:23,978 Gayle, I'm putting you in the back row. 1018 01:06:24,154 --> 01:06:25,883 You're looking kind of bloated. 1019 01:06:26,056 --> 01:06:28,251 But I haven't eaten for two days. 1020 01:06:28,425 --> 01:06:31,155 Damn it, Gayle, you wanna win this thing or not? 1021 01:06:31,929 --> 01:06:33,829 Get this thing off me. 1022 01:06:34,498 --> 01:06:36,363 No! 1023 01:06:36,533 --> 01:06:38,330 François. 1024 01:06:39,002 --> 01:06:40,936 What is wrong with you? 1025 01:06:41,104 --> 01:06:43,698 Dogs are our friends. They love our insides. 1026 01:06:44,074 --> 01:06:46,042 God, freak out much? 1027 01:06:46,210 --> 01:06:48,178 Dogs are gross. 1028 01:06:49,046 --> 01:06:51,981 You know what? I don't belong here. 1029 01:06:52,149 --> 01:06:53,639 Look at me, I look ridiculous. 1030 01:06:53,817 --> 01:06:55,148 I'm wearing a boa. 1031 01:06:55,319 --> 01:06:57,514 - Whose idea was this? - Yours. 1032 01:06:58,455 --> 01:07:01,049 Did I get caught up in the razzle-dazzle? Yes. 1033 01:07:01,225 --> 01:07:02,522 But you know what I learned? 1034 01:07:02,693 --> 01:07:04,422 These will get you here: 1035 01:07:04,595 --> 01:07:06,392 But this is gonna get you here: 1036 01:07:06,663 --> 01:07:08,528 And then this will get you way up here: 1037 01:07:08,699 --> 01:07:11,167 Then use this and this together, and you're up here: 1038 01:07:11,335 --> 01:07:13,895 And then you don't even care about these. 1039 01:07:14,805 --> 01:07:16,238 Are you talking about boobs? 1040 01:07:16,406 --> 01:07:19,534 Oh, God. You know, I chase girls like you my whole life. 1041 01:07:19,710 --> 01:07:21,974 And you know what? You're all a bunch of bullies. 1042 01:07:22,145 --> 01:07:24,477 And you know what happens to bullies? 1043 01:07:25,849 --> 01:07:28,943 They get whatever they want, but they don't get love. 1044 01:07:29,119 --> 01:07:30,313 Real love. 1045 01:07:30,487 --> 01:07:32,819 Mary J. Blige style. Here. 1046 01:07:33,890 --> 01:07:36,654 Why don't you take this? Use it as a thong. 1047 01:07:36,827 --> 01:07:38,351 Gayle. 1048 01:07:38,996 --> 01:07:41,055 - Eat this. - Thank you. 1049 01:07:43,800 --> 01:07:46,928 This tastes so fucking good. 1050 01:07:47,904 --> 01:07:50,168 I am so tired of being hungry. 1051 01:07:50,340 --> 01:07:51,398 Let's go. 1052 01:07:51,575 --> 01:07:55,136 All right, people, give it up for the hottest chicks from the state of Texas. 1053 01:07:55,312 --> 01:07:57,041 The Sevens. 1054 01:08:28,545 --> 01:08:30,410 I trained them well. 1055 01:08:30,580 --> 01:08:32,514 Move. Come on. 1056 01:08:32,683 --> 01:08:33,877 Get, get. 1057 01:08:46,797 --> 01:08:48,458 Let's beat it. 1058 01:08:56,106 --> 01:08:58,939 Yeah. - That's what I'm talking about. 1059 01:09:00,143 --> 01:09:02,509 Take it off. - Go for it, baby. 1060 01:09:07,284 --> 01:09:08,615 Mason. 1061 01:09:08,785 --> 01:09:11,413 Lavonne. Lavonne, you gotta keep it together. 1062 01:09:11,822 --> 01:09:13,551 Becky's Friendz, you're up next. 1063 01:09:13,724 --> 01:09:16,591 Becky's Friendz? That's the name of our group? 1064 01:09:16,760 --> 01:09:18,250 All right, that's it, Ashley. 1065 01:09:18,428 --> 01:09:20,293 Your spring break is over, girls. 1066 01:09:20,464 --> 01:09:21,522 Grab her, boys. 1067 01:09:22,332 --> 01:09:23,356 Senator, please. 1068 01:09:23,533 --> 01:09:25,160 Betty, Betty, Betty. 1069 01:09:25,335 --> 01:09:28,463 I think that you have done just about enough. 1070 01:09:28,638 --> 01:09:31,698 I never should have sent a weak-willed number cruncher. 1071 01:09:31,875 --> 01:09:34,639 God, I hate plain women, I really do. 1072 01:09:36,313 --> 01:09:37,803 You know what? 1073 01:09:37,981 --> 01:09:41,041 "Hate" is a strong word. 1074 01:09:41,218 --> 01:09:42,913 And I am not plain. 1075 01:09:43,086 --> 01:09:44,747 I'm Becky St. Germaine. 1076 01:09:44,921 --> 01:09:46,786 And you know what else? 1077 01:09:48,258 --> 01:09:49,725 You can eat me, you cracker. 1078 01:09:50,627 --> 01:09:52,219 Who are you calling a cracker? 1079 01:09:52,996 --> 01:09:56,488 - Back it up! - Mama. Mama, please listen. 1080 01:09:58,802 --> 01:10:00,633 I'm not the daughter you thought I was. 1081 01:10:00,804 --> 01:10:02,635 I'm not popular. 1082 01:10:03,140 --> 01:10:06,632 I've never pole-danced and I didn't get into any sororities. 1083 01:10:06,810 --> 01:10:08,801 Not even the lesbian one. 1084 01:10:10,247 --> 01:10:12,545 These are my friends. 1085 01:10:13,617 --> 01:10:15,778 Mama, I'm plain. 1086 01:10:15,952 --> 01:10:18,443 There is nothing special about me. 1087 01:10:18,622 --> 01:10:21,022 Don't you ever say that again. 1088 01:10:21,191 --> 01:10:22,658 Hello? You're on. 1089 01:10:22,826 --> 01:10:24,726 We have to get out there, Ashley. 1090 01:10:25,429 --> 01:10:28,091 Go, go, go. 1091 01:10:28,265 --> 01:10:31,166 Go, go, go. 1092 01:10:31,334 --> 01:10:33,029 Oh, baby. 1093 01:10:33,203 --> 01:10:35,364 All right, get your butt up on that stage. 1094 01:10:35,739 --> 01:10:37,673 But keep your top on, all right? 1095 01:10:37,841 --> 01:10:40,742 - Let's do it. - Chip off the old block, that one is. 1096 01:10:40,911 --> 01:10:44,813 Sevens are the team to beat. Let's see if the next group of girls has what it takes. 1097 01:10:44,981 --> 01:10:48,712 Ladies and gentlemen, holler out for Becky's Friendz. With a Z. 1098 01:10:49,152 --> 01:10:50,779 Yeah. 1099 01:10:50,954 --> 01:10:53,047 Thank you so much, everyone. 1100 01:10:55,692 --> 01:10:58,855 Y'all, Lavonne's done. I'm so sorry. 1101 01:11:00,030 --> 01:11:02,021 - Sorry, sorry. - Go home! 1102 01:11:03,767 --> 01:11:05,462 Forget about it. 1103 01:11:05,635 --> 01:11:06,966 Get off the stage! 1104 01:11:08,772 --> 01:11:10,399 Ladies. 1105 01:11:10,841 --> 01:11:12,570 Judi. 1106 01:11:13,176 --> 01:11:15,144 Let's do this. 1107 01:11:16,413 --> 01:11:18,608 Two, three, four. 1108 01:13:27,577 --> 01:13:29,010 What? 1109 01:13:32,349 --> 01:13:34,078 You suck! 1110 01:13:37,454 --> 01:13:39,786 Hey. Hey, you know what, South Padre? 1111 01:13:39,956 --> 01:13:42,948 We don't care what you think because we're freaking awesome. 1112 01:13:43,126 --> 01:13:45,219 Yeah, so smoke on that, spring break. 1113 01:13:46,463 --> 01:13:48,431 What's the matter, y'all? 1114 01:13:49,132 --> 01:13:51,066 Hey, all you regular girls, give it up. 1115 01:13:51,368 --> 01:13:53,768 Clap, come on. Give it up. 1116 01:13:53,937 --> 01:13:55,666 Yeah. 1117 01:13:56,940 --> 01:13:58,635 We're not going anywhere. 1118 01:13:58,808 --> 01:14:00,469 And just wait till next year. 1119 01:14:05,015 --> 01:14:08,542 And this is for Honey, my dead cat. 1120 01:14:09,619 --> 01:14:11,712 - Yeah! - Give it up. 1121 01:14:14,658 --> 01:14:17,218 Dead cat, dead cat, dead cat. 1122 01:14:17,394 --> 01:14:19,419 Dead cat, dead cat. 1123 01:14:19,596 --> 01:14:22,326 Way to go, girls. Way to... 1124 01:14:24,267 --> 01:14:25,996 Becky. 1125 01:14:29,072 --> 01:14:30,539 Ladies and gentlemen... 1126 01:14:30,707 --> 01:14:33,505 ...the next vice president of the United States of America... 1127 01:14:33,677 --> 01:14:36,111 ...Senator Kay Bee Hartmann and her daughter, Ashley. 1128 01:14:36,279 --> 01:14:39,339 - We're gonna save the environment. - Can you tell us about...? 1129 01:14:39,516 --> 01:14:42,144 Mason here, Ashley's best friend. 1130 01:14:43,153 --> 01:14:45,485 - I don't know her. - Get that girl out of the shot. 1131 01:14:47,323 --> 01:14:50,486 Come on, ladies. Let's go. 1132 01:15:19,222 --> 01:15:20,689 Please don't hurt me. 1133 01:15:20,857 --> 01:15:23,519 Don't say anything, just listen. 1134 01:15:24,861 --> 01:15:28,627 I want you to know that you've changed me. 1135 01:15:28,798 --> 01:15:33,826 And not a day will go by when I don't think about our time together. 1136 01:15:34,304 --> 01:15:38,104 But you're so young... 1137 01:15:38,274 --> 01:15:40,902 ...with so many dreams and years ahead of you. 1138 01:15:42,679 --> 01:15:45,978 It could never work between us, I know that now... 1139 01:15:46,149 --> 01:15:50,813 ...but always know that you're in my soul. 1140 01:15:54,290 --> 01:15:55,689 Wait. 1141 01:16:18,882 --> 01:16:20,611 Goodbye. 1142 01:16:53,416 --> 01:16:56,977 Oh, hey, you guys, let's take a picture so we'll always remember this trip. 1143 01:16:57,153 --> 01:16:59,519 - Charlene. - Okay. 1144 01:17:00,390 --> 01:17:02,824 Okay, all right. Get together, y'all, all right. 1145 01:17:02,992 --> 01:17:08,157 - Ready? One, two... - Cheese. 1146 01:17:11,701 --> 01:17:15,637 Ashley will not be speaking at a fundamentalist college, no. 1147 01:17:15,805 --> 01:17:18,672 And also, we are focusing on the family and the environment... 1148 01:17:18,842 --> 01:17:21,811 ...so you can tell those anti-immigration dudes to shove it. 1149 01:17:22,178 --> 01:17:25,341 Oh, my God. I've only been on eHarmony for two weeks... 1150 01:17:25,515 --> 01:17:28,177 ...and I already have 23 coffees lined up. 1151 01:17:28,351 --> 01:17:31,684 - You go, girl. - Guys, are we making pizzas or what? 1152 01:17:31,855 --> 01:17:34,016 - Oh, yeah. - I gotta go. 1153 01:17:34,791 --> 01:17:37,851 - You got me the mini pepperonis again. - Put a smiley face on mine. 1154 01:17:38,027 --> 01:17:39,927 - That's really amazing. - I'll do that too. 1155 01:17:40,096 --> 01:17:41,961 Okay, guys, I got an idea. Movie Numbers. 1156 01:17:42,131 --> 01:17:44,565 Only Movie Numbers Extreme. 1157 01:17:44,734 --> 01:17:47,430 - Ooh! - One to 20. 1158 01:17:47,604 --> 01:17:50,698 Okay, I'll start, I'll start. It Happened One Night. 1159 01:17:50,874 --> 01:17:52,466 - Basic Instinct 2. - Nice. 1160 01:17:52,642 --> 01:17:55,236 - Three Men and a Little Lady. - I love Steve Guttenberg. 1161 01:17:55,411 --> 01:17:59,347 - I love Steve Guttenberg. - Okay. Fantastic Four. 1162 01:17:59,515 --> 01:18:00,948 - Nine to Five. - That's so good. 1163 01:18:01,117 --> 01:18:03,278 That's three numbers, nine, two, five. Okay. 1164 01:18:56,673 --> 01:18:58,937 You're a pretty puppy. 1165 01:19:00,977 --> 01:19:05,539 This is really degrading to women. Really. 1166 01:19:13,222 --> 01:19:15,850 We're kind of like Laverne and Shirl. 1167 01:19:31,874 --> 01:19:33,705 I can't... I can't... 1168 01:19:33,876 --> 01:19:35,969 South Padre. 1169 01:19:39,282 --> 01:19:41,614 You know what this lawn chair reminds me of? 1170 01:19:41,784 --> 01:19:44,947 - What? - The time I had sex on a lawn chair. 1171 01:19:45,121 --> 01:19:46,850 What? 81694