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1
00:00:01,580 --> 00:00:02,590
[door opening]
2
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,610
God, you're beautiful.
3
00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:26,110
(lowell)
Thank you.
4
00:00:29,850 --> 00:00:31,850
Oh, hi, lowell.
5
00:00:31,850 --> 00:00:35,020
I was just talking
To the plane.
6
00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:36,520
Uh-huh.
7
00:00:37,890 --> 00:00:40,890
See, pilots feel sort of
Special about their planes.
8
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:43,390
[chuckles]
9
00:00:43,890 --> 00:00:44,890
Incredible.
10
00:00:44,890 --> 00:00:46,400
[airplane whirring]
11
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,130
I know it sounds crazy,
12
00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:51,630
But if you put your hands
Like so,
13
00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:55,400
You can almost feel her
Pushing ever so slightly
Upward.
14
00:00:55,410 --> 00:00:57,940
Like she's straining
To get in the air.
15
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,740
Can't say I blame her.
16
00:01:00,740 --> 00:01:03,750
When you're up there
And you're looking down,
17
00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:06,280
Everything sorta
Makes sense.
18
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,650
Well, not in
An intellectual way,
But kinda spiritually.
19
00:01:10,990 --> 00:01:12,990
It never fails.
20
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,990
Every time I fly,
21
00:01:14,990 --> 00:01:17,290
I come back
A little surer there's a god.
22
00:01:18,530 --> 00:01:21,030
I go down to the dump
And shoot rats.
23
00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:26,640
Then you do understand.
24
00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,140
[seagulls cawing]
25
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,940
Announcing the arrival
Of sandpiper air flight 26,
26
00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:42,950
Nonstop service
From boston
27
00:02:42,950 --> 00:02:46,480
To our lovely island
Of nantucket.
28
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,990
Uh, for those of you
Going out to greet
Arriving passengers,
29
00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:50,490
We've learned,
30
00:02:50,490 --> 00:02:52,990
Due to one particularly
Nasty incident,
31
00:02:53,490 --> 00:02:56,990
That it's best to wait
For the propellers to come
To a complete stop.
32
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,200
Thanks for flying
Sandpiper air.
33
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,700
Hi, fay.
Hi, joe.
34
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,700
How much time do I have
Till the next flight?
35
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:07,100
Well, it's your airline, joe.
You can leave anytime.
36
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:09,110
Uh, but the schedule
Says 7 minutes.
37
00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:13,610
You've got 6 passengers
And a crate of lobsters that
Have to be delivered alive.
38
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,610
The lobsters,
Not the people.
39
00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:18,850
Although I'm sure
The people would
Appreciate it, too.
40
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,850
Well, yeah, I haven't
Lost one yet. Load them up.
41
00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:23,390
I'm gonna grab
A quick bite.
42
00:03:23,390 --> 00:03:24,390
(roy)
Hey, hackett.
43
00:03:24,390 --> 00:03:25,890
What, roy?
44
00:03:25,890 --> 00:03:28,720
They delivered this
To my airline by mistake.
Oh, thanks.
45
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:31,660
It's from some lawyers.
What did you do wrong?
46
00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:34,160
I didn't do
Anything wrong.
The hell you didn't!
47
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,170
You parked so close
To my el camino last night
48
00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:39,700
I had to crawl in
On the passenger side.
49
00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:42,710
That gear shift
And I had a moment
I'll never forget.
50
00:03:43,710 --> 00:03:45,710
Hey, roy,
When did you get this?
51
00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:47,210
I don't know,
It was last week some time.
52
00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:50,380
Look, unlike you, hackett,
I'm running a big operation
Here.
53
00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:52,880
Check the tarmac, buddy.
I've got 6 planes,
You got one.
54
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,350
I don't have time
To play post office.
55
00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:56,590
Damn it, roy,
This could be important.
56
00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:58,090
[laughing]
Right, hackett, right.
57
00:03:58,590 --> 00:04:00,090
The day you get
An important piece of mail,
58
00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:02,430
I'll kiss your behind
In the town square
At high noon.
59
00:04:02,430 --> 00:04:04,630
Given up on those
Dial-a-dates, roy?
60
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,100
Hi, helen,
I'd like a b.L.T.
61
00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,600
4 slices of bacon,
Extra crisp.
62
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,300
Whole wheat, lightly toasted.
63
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:17,040
Mustard on top,
Mayonnaise on the bottom
And 2 pickles on the side.
64
00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:21,540
How did you know
I was gonna order that?
65
00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:23,810
It's tuesday.
You always order that
On tuesday.
66
00:04:23,810 --> 00:04:26,320
For your information,
Today happens to be...
67
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,250
Well, this looks good.
68
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,020
Whoa.
(helen)
What you got?
69
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:34,520
It's a letter from the lawyer
70
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,030
Who handled things
When my dad died.
71
00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:38,090
He was instructed
To send this package to me
72
00:04:38,090 --> 00:04:39,600
When the estate
Was finally settled.
73
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,600
Well, open it.
74
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,100
Well, there's a catch.
75
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:45,640
This letter says,
I'm only supposed
To open it with my brother.
76
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,070
Well, that's that.
What?
77
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,940
Well, I know
You're not going to call him.
78
00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:51,870
You haven't talked
To your brother for 6 years.
79
00:04:51,870 --> 00:04:53,880
That is a long time
To hold a grudge.
80
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:54,880
Well, not for you,
81
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:55,880
But maybe
For the average person.
82
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,880
I do not hold a grudge.
83
00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:00,880
You've always
Said that about me.
Ever since we were kids.
84
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,490
And quite frankly,
I've always resented it.
85
00:05:03,490 --> 00:05:06,490
[phone ringing]
86
00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:08,660
I think it's about time
That you got over the fact
87
00:05:08,660 --> 00:05:12,160
That carol the pig dumped you
And married your brother.
88
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:16,030
Carol is not a pig.
And I am over it.
89
00:05:16,030 --> 00:05:18,200
I didn't know
You had a brother, joe.
90
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,540
Well, he's not
So much a brother
91
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,040
As he is a piece of popcorn
Stuck between my teeth
92
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,570
For the last 28 years.
93
00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:24,570
We're not very close.
94
00:05:24,570 --> 00:05:25,940
I went my way
And brian went his.
95
00:05:26,310 --> 00:05:26,810
With a pig.
96
00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,310
Stop saying that.
97
00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:30,310
I will
If you call him.
No way.
98
00:05:30,810 --> 00:05:32,820
All right, how old was I
When I moved out here
From texas?
99
00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:34,750
I don't know.
What, 10. Why?
100
00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:36,250
Ok. I think we've been
Friends long enough
101
00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:38,250
That I can say to you
Just between the two of us,
102
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,420
Call your brother, butthead.
103
00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:46,430
All right.
All right, I'll call him.
104
00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:48,770
Good.
(fay)
Good for you, joe.
105
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,270
It's not important whether
Your brother married a pig
106
00:05:51,270 --> 00:05:52,770
Or didn't marry a pig.
107
00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:54,270
She is not a pig.
108
00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:58,270
What's important is that
You should honor
Your father's last words.
109
00:05:58,270 --> 00:06:00,580
Well, actually, I'm not
Honoring his last words.
110
00:06:00,580 --> 00:06:02,080
I'm honoring
His last wishes.
111
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,580
His last words were,
112
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,250
"Sit on my lap, eydie."
113
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,520
He thought
I was eydie gorme.
114
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,060
I don't know.
115
00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:16,060
I gave it a shot
116
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,060
And I'm here
To tell you something.
117
00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:21,560
Deborah norville doesn't have
The humanity jane pauley had.
118
00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:24,970
She's gone, roy.
She's gone.
119
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:26,470
We go through this
Every day.
120
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,470
Jane had 13 good years.
But now, she's gone.
121
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:30,840
Now, get over it.
122
00:06:32,170 --> 00:06:33,680
I know that up here.
123
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,680
Doggone it.
But how do you fill
The void in here?
124
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,080
How about a jelly doughnut?
Jane who?
125
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:40,980
Oh.
126
00:06:42,350 --> 00:06:43,850
Excuse me, excuse me.
127
00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:45,860
Hi, I'm looking for the owner
Of aeromass airlines.
128
00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:47,560
I've got to shake his hand.
129
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,530
Oh, that'd be me.
130
00:06:52,530 --> 00:06:53,530
Roy biggins.
Hi.
131
00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:55,400
And you are, uh...
Uh, call me brian.
132
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,900
Brian, right.
I just came off
One of your flights
133
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,070
And sir,
You are a genius.
I am?
134
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,240
Oh, you betcha.
I mean, I've heard of some
135
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:02,610
Creative cost-cutting
Measures before,
136
00:07:03,110 --> 00:07:05,980
But getting rid
Of the life jackets,
It's inspired.
137
00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:08,480
Sure, tell them
They're under the seats
But nobody ever checks.
138
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,350
So why have 'em?
They are too
Under the seats.
139
00:07:10,350 --> 00:07:11,550
Oh, sure they are.
Sure they are.
140
00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:13,550
Oh, and getting a pilot
Fresh out of flight school
141
00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:15,720
Must have saved you
Some serious coin, huh?
142
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,220
Nice kid, too.
143
00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:20,720
Had a couple of drinks
With him before the flight.
144
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,230
It's too bad about that
Eye operation though.
145
00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:25,730
But like he said,
How often do you have
To look left anyway?
146
00:07:25,730 --> 00:07:27,430
Folks, folks,
That's not true.
147
00:07:27,430 --> 00:07:29,830
I see you've managed
To slip in unnoticed.
148
00:07:31,170 --> 00:07:33,170
Joey!
149
00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:34,670
Do you know this guy?
150
00:07:34,670 --> 00:07:37,170
I'm afraid so.
He's my brother.
151
00:07:37,170 --> 00:07:38,570
Roy biggins,
Brian hackett.
152
00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:41,440
Pleasure.
Hey, sansabelt slacks.
153
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:42,450
Boy, you miss one issue
Of g.Q.
154
00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:45,380
And the fashion world
Just passes you by.
155
00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:48,890
Keep this guy away
From me.
156
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,390
Folks, folks...
157
00:07:54,090 --> 00:07:56,230
Oh, been too long, joe.
158
00:07:56,230 --> 00:07:57,230
Yeah.
Yeah.
159
00:07:57,730 --> 00:07:59,100
So, how you been?
160
00:07:59,430 --> 00:08:00,260
Fine, brian. And you?
161
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,070
"Fine, brian. And you?
Fine, brian. And you?"
162
00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:03,570
Please, joe.
Too much warmth.
163
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,770
You're embarrassing me.
164
00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:08,040
Uh, this place never changes.
165
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,070
You, uh,
You look a little tired.
166
00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:11,070
Oh, no, I'm fine.
167
00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:12,340
Hey, I know you, joe.
168
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,840
You're the best pilot around
But you're doing too much.
169
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,850
You're running the office,
You're flying the planes.
170
00:08:16,850 --> 00:08:19,880
You keep this pace up,
You're gonna end up
Like howard hughes.
171
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,380
Locked in a hotel room,
172
00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:24,390
Sitting on kleenex,
Sucking apple sauce
Through a straw.
173
00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:26,390
Ain't that somethin'?
174
00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:28,890
All that money
And his hobbies
Are the same as mine.
175
00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:33,500
Really?
176
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,600
He also used to collect
Toenail clippings
177
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,940
And keep them
In a mason jar.
178
00:08:38,930 --> 00:08:40,440
This is uncanny.
179
00:08:43,570 --> 00:08:45,570
Who's that?
That's lowell mather.
180
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,080
He's sort of a
Jack-of-all-trades
Around here.
181
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,580
His family has
Lived on the island
For 5 generations.
182
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,080
Ah!
Probably in the same room.
183
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,680
Well, shall we get down
To business and find out
What pop left us?
184
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,020
(helen)
Hey, brian!
185
00:08:58,390 --> 00:09:01,160
Helen? Helen chapel?
186
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:04,530
Oh, my god!
You look fantastic.
187
00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:06,400
You've lost
A lot of weight.
Oh, I have not.
188
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:09,200
Maybe a pound or 2 or 60.
189
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:10,930
Hey.
190
00:09:10,930 --> 00:09:12,870
Come on, brian.
Helen's busy.
191
00:09:12,870 --> 00:09:14,240
No, it's ok.
192
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,900
Well, you're looking
Pretty good yourself.
What've you been doing?
193
00:09:15,910 --> 00:09:17,410
Uh, I'm down in
The caribbean
194
00:09:17,410 --> 00:09:18,910
Flying charter
For the rich and famous.
195
00:09:18,910 --> 00:09:20,410
Hmm.
Business is pickin' up.
196
00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:23,310
Although the noriega
Spring barbecue
Looks a little iffy.
197
00:09:25,980 --> 00:09:27,480
So what are you
Still doing here?
198
00:09:27,980 --> 00:09:29,690
I thought that cello of yours
Was going to get you off
This rock.
199
00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:33,690
One day it will.
I practice all the time.
I go to my auditions.
200
00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:36,390
You know, in the meantime,
I'm here.
Brian, now.
201
00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:37,890
[phone ringing]
202
00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:39,130
Hey, joey, uh,
203
00:09:39,630 --> 00:09:41,130
Are you and helen,
Mmm, you know?
204
00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:43,070
Of course not.
We're friends.
205
00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:44,970
Are you kidding me?
Look at that body.
206
00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:47,670
Brian, how can you
Think of her that way?
She's practically family.
207
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,540
She's like
A baby sister.
Yeah, you're right.
208
00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:53,010
I think it's time I gave
That little tyke a bath.
209
00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:57,410
Oh, same old joe,
Neat as a pin.
210
00:09:57,410 --> 00:09:59,920
Everything at right angles.
211
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:01,420
It's called having
Your life in order.
212
00:10:01,420 --> 00:10:03,250
You ought
To try it sometime.
213
00:10:05,550 --> 00:10:08,560
So, how's carol?
214
00:10:09,020 --> 00:10:12,030
Fine, fine.
Sends her love.
215
00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:17,130
Uh, about carol,
Are we ok here?
216
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,400
Well,
Now that you mention it,
217
00:10:23,610 --> 00:10:25,240
Yeah, we're ok.
218
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,640
Aren't we ok?
I'm ok.
219
00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:28,410
Well, I'm ok.
Ok.
220
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,910
That was fun.
221
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,250
Here.
It's our legacy from pop.
222
00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:38,190
I guess one of his
Get-rich-quick schemes
Finally paid off, huh?
223
00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:39,690
You're not serious?
224
00:10:39,690 --> 00:10:42,990
I'm very serious, joe.
Apparently, pop was loaded.
225
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,490
What makes you think that?
226
00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:46,660
The, uh, the phone call.
227
00:10:46,660 --> 00:10:47,800
What phone call?
228
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,300
Oh, dear.
229
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,800
You have a little sign
On this drawer that says
"Empty."
230
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,600
Like, you can't pull it open
And see that?
231
00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:58,670
What phone call?
232
00:10:58,670 --> 00:11:02,180
I mean, you actually
Took the time to label it?
233
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:06,380
This is heavy.
Does--does the word "Anal"
Mean anything to you?
234
00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:09,320
At this moment
It has a very special meaning.
235
00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:13,290
This hurts me, joe.
236
00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:15,290
This really hurts me.
237
00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:16,960
Think it'll leave a mark?
238
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,360
What phone call?
239
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:21,860
He called me a couple
Of months before he died
240
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:23,370
And he rambled on
About this and that.
241
00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:25,030
I didn't pay
Much attention to him.
242
00:11:25,530 --> 00:11:28,670
But I remember him
Saying very distinctly
At one point, "You're rich."
243
00:11:28,670 --> 00:11:29,670
He said "You're rich," joe.
244
00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:31,670
I didn't think
Much of it until now.
245
00:11:31,670 --> 00:11:32,680
I wouldn't
Get your hopes up.
246
00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:35,180
Not that you were around,
But dad was getting
247
00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:36,950
Pretty strange
The last couple of years.
248
00:11:36,950 --> 00:11:37,780
Why? What do you mean?
249
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,780
He used to put on an apron,
Go to the market
250
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,720
And demonstrate
Cheese spread.
251
00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:43,920
A lot of people do that.
252
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,420
Sure, but usually
The market hires them.
253
00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:47,420
[exclaiming]
254
00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:49,560
No, joey, this is it.
255
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,390
Payday. Here we go.
256
00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:53,660
You're setting yourself up
For a big disappointment.
257
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:55,160
"O ye, of little faith."
258
00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:01,940
It's a key
I told you
Not to get your hopes up.
259
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:06,440
To a safe-deposit box
In the first national bank
Of nantucket.
260
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,080
We're rich!
261
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,580
We're rich!
262
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:12,080
(both)
We're rich!
263
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,620
Go warm up the car.
I've got to make
A quick phone call.
264
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:18,620
We're rich!
265
00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:23,260
Be there, be there, be there.
Please. Please, please.
266
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:24,260
Oh, damn!
267
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,960
"Wait for the beep."
Hi, carol, it's me.
268
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,970
Uh, look,
I know the judge told me
Not to bother you anymore.
269
00:12:30,970 --> 00:12:33,970
Actually he told me
Not to bother him
Anymore, too.
270
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:37,970
But I just want you to know
That it looks like I'm about
To come into a few bucks
271
00:12:37,970 --> 00:12:41,240
And when you're ready
To come back, the door's open.
272
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,780
I miss you, carol,
273
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,280
And, uh, I really want you
To know that--
274
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:47,250
[dial tone droning]
275
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:49,850
Great. Now her machine's
Hanging up on me.
276
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:57,360
This'll kill him.
277
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,600
Stand back, clear the deck.
278
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,870
Rich guys coming through.
279
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,370
(helen)
What did you get?
280
00:13:09,370 --> 00:13:10,370
Well, this was
In the safe-deposit box
281
00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:12,370
But there was no way
To get inside it.
282
00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:13,880
Hey, lowell,
Give me a screwdriver.
283
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,850
Well, ok, but be careful.
284
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,810
Now, you're not on any kind
Of antihistamines, are you?
285
00:13:23,650 --> 00:13:25,650
It's another key.
286
00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:27,160
I hope you don't
Mind me saying this.
287
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,960
And--and I mean it
In the nicest possible way.
288
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,460
But your father
Was really jerking
You around.
289
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,470
This one's to a post office
Box in boston.
290
00:13:36,470 --> 00:13:38,170
Well, what are we waiting for?
Let's go.
291
00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:40,470
Brian, this is starting
To seem like a waste of time.
292
00:13:40,470 --> 00:13:41,700
Don't throw the towel in now.
293
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,810
You remember,
Dad said, "You're rich."
294
00:13:43,810 --> 00:13:46,310
Well, I do have a flight
Leaving for boston in
A few minutes.
295
00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:47,240
That's the spirit.
296
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,240
Can't get
Sidetracked now again.
297
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,250
We've got to keep our eyes
On the prize.
298
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:52,080
Oh, major hooters.
We can't let those...
299
00:13:52,580 --> 00:13:54,050
What did you say?
300
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:55,050
Major hooters.
301
00:13:55,550 --> 00:13:58,050
Major bob hooters,
U.S. Air force,
At your service.
302
00:13:58,050 --> 00:14:00,220
Uh-oh, scramble.
Red alert.
303
00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:01,720
Rest easy tonight,
Little lady.
304
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,190
Our boys are in the air
And so are yours.
305
00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:12,270
I hate to say
I told you so.
306
00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:14,270
Oh, don't start.
Don't start.
307
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:17,270
I just spent 5 hours
Traipsing all over boston
On some wild goose chase
308
00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:19,270
And what do we end up with?
309
00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:22,280
Excuse me,
Is--is there a problem?
Everything's fine.
310
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,780
Just sit back
And enjoy the flight.
311
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,420
Nantucket tower,
This is sandpiper 28.
312
00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:32,420
Final approach, fix incoming.
313
00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:34,920
(man)
Sandpiper 28, nantucket.
You're clear to land.
314
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,930
Sandpiper 28, roger.
315
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,960
Look, there's no reason
To get upset.
316
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:41,460
I want to get upset.
317
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:42,970
I like to get upset!
318
00:14:42,970 --> 00:14:44,970
Getting upset
Makes me happy!
319
00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:46,970
You ought to try it
Sometime.
320
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,470
You sure
Everything's ok?
Of course.
321
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:51,170
Look, it's not like
We lost anything.
322
00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:53,180
We have a lot to be
Thankful for.
323
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:54,180
After all, we've got--
324
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:55,640
Joe, if you're gonna say
We've got our health,
325
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,580
I'm gonna have to hurt you.
326
00:14:57,580 --> 00:14:59,080
I wasn't
Going to say that.
327
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,590
Although we do.
328
00:15:03,590 --> 00:15:07,090
I was going to say
We've got our jobs.
I've still got the airline
329
00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:10,090
And you're still
Flying charter.
330
00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:13,600
You do still fly for
That charter company?
331
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,600
You don't, do you?
You got canned.
332
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,030
Eh, it was a crummy job
Anyway.
333
00:15:18,030 --> 00:15:19,540
Actually,
I was kind of hoping
334
00:15:19,540 --> 00:15:20,900
You might need
An extra pilot.
335
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:23,240
Are you kidding? Hire you?
336
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,240
I'd rather crash
This plane.
337
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,240
You need a job?
I'll hire you.
338
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,250
How do you do it, brian?
339
00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:37,990
How do you manage to blow
Every single opportunity
You've ever had?
340
00:15:37,990 --> 00:15:39,390
It's a gift.
341
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:40,860
You know, you're smart.
342
00:15:40,860 --> 00:15:42,260
You get
A free ride to princeton
And what do you do? You quit.
343
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,230
And what about nasa?
You're one of the youngest
People ever accepted
344
00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:48,430
To the space program
And you wash out on
The 2nd day of orientation.
345
00:15:48,430 --> 00:15:50,430
You could have
Been an astronaut,
For god's sake.
346
00:15:50,430 --> 00:15:51,930
Yeah,
Like I'm supposed to know
347
00:15:51,930 --> 00:15:55,100
You couldn't bring dates
Into the shuttle simulator.
348
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,410
God, I wish I had
The advantages that you had,
349
00:15:58,410 --> 00:15:59,910
But someone had to
Hold down the fort.
350
00:15:59,910 --> 00:16:01,910
Oh, no. No, you don't, joe.
They've already done
This movie.
351
00:16:01,910 --> 00:16:03,910
Remember the one
Where poor old jimmy stewart
352
00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:04,910
Has to stay home
And save the bank
353
00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:06,420
While his brother gets
To go off
354
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:07,420
And do these exciting things?
355
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,080
Remember that movie, joe?
Yeah.
It's a wonderful life.
356
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,590
That's right, joe.
Well, this isn't the movies
357
00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:13,090
And from where I sit,
Jimmy stewart was a sap.
358
00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:14,090
(man)
Sandpiper 28--
359
00:16:14,090 --> 00:16:15,590
Oh, give us a second,
Will you?
360
00:16:15,590 --> 00:16:17,090
He could have left us
If he wanted to
361
00:16:17,590 --> 00:16:18,590
And so could you,
But you didn't.
362
00:16:18,590 --> 00:16:20,100
You stayed home
And you took care of pop.
363
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:22,100
Good old st. Joe.
Now, stop it right there,
Brian.
364
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,470
Excuse me.
Solid citizen joe. He always
Does the right thing.
365
00:16:24,470 --> 00:16:27,240
You know, I bet you don't
Even tear that stupid tag
Off the mattress.
366
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,140
It says, "Do not remove."
367
00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:30,140
I knew it!
Excuse me.
368
00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:31,640
And you know
What else I think?
369
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,140
I think you used pop
As an excuse,
370
00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:36,380
Because you didn't
Have the guts to go out
And do what I did.
371
00:16:36,380 --> 00:16:37,750
What?
Fall flat on your face?
372
00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:39,550
At least, I wasn't
Afraid of failing.
373
00:16:40,050 --> 00:16:40,850
[laughs]
Obviously not.
374
00:16:40,850 --> 00:16:42,850
Excuse me.
What? For god's sake?
375
00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:44,820
Weren't we supposed
To land back there?
376
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,720
Oh.
377
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:50,230
Look, I'm the pilot
And I'll decide when
To land this aircraft.
378
00:16:51,230 --> 00:16:52,530
Ok, now!
379
00:16:55,030 --> 00:16:57,030
[tires screeching]
380
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,610
Obnoxious little twerp.
Tight control freak nazi.
381
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:06,940
You've been
A bone in my throat
Since the day you were born.
382
00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:08,440
I should have smothered you
In your baby blanket.
383
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,210
Hey!
What the hell's goin' on?
384
00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:11,710
I'll tell you
What's goin' on.
385
00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:14,220
That key opened up
A safe-deposit box
386
00:17:14,220 --> 00:17:15,720
Which had a key
For another bank
387
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,720
Which led to another key
To another bank
388
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,720
Which led to 2 bus stations,
A post office, a train depot,
And a kennel.
389
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,730
And you want to know
What we found?
390
00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:24,730
Another key.
391
00:17:25,230 --> 00:17:26,400
And you want to know
Where it goes?
392
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,800
I'll tell you where it goes.
We don't know where it goes!
393
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,400
That's where it goes!
394
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:35,700
Come all the way back here
And what do I end up with?
395
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,210
Nada, zippo, zero, zilch.
396
00:17:37,210 --> 00:17:38,710
With nothing!
397
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,640
You've got carol.
398
00:17:45,380 --> 00:17:47,020
Oh, so now we get to it,
Huh?
399
00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:52,620
I thought you said
You were over that.
400
00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:54,460
Over you stealing
The love of my life from me?
401
00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:56,930
I didn't steal her.
She came after me.
402
00:17:56,930 --> 00:17:57,930
Oh, come off it.
403
00:17:58,430 --> 00:18:01,030
Carol doesn't have
A deceptive bone
In her body.
404
00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:05,000
She's kind and good
And honest.
405
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,000
And you stole her from me,
And it hurts.
406
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,000
It hurts bad.
407
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,410
I don't think you
Could ever know how much.
408
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,280
She left me
For another guy.
409
00:18:17,650 --> 00:18:19,380
She left you, too?
Yeah.
410
00:18:20,650 --> 00:18:21,650
That pig.
411
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:27,890
Ok, I'll give you that.
412
00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:29,390
But she was my pig.
413
00:18:31,130 --> 00:18:33,230
Well, at least the other guy
Wasn't your brother.
414
00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:34,230
Yeah, yeah.
415
00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:37,200
My brother would never
Have done that to me.
416
00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:41,070
I kind of thought
If pop left us some money,
417
00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:43,070
She might want
To come back.
418
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:47,640
Hey, listen, joe.
419
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,150
No matter
Whose fault it was,
420
00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:53,650
If losing carol
Made you feel the way
I've felt since she's left,
421
00:18:53,650 --> 00:18:56,650
Then I'm--I'm really,
Really sorry.
422
00:18:57,490 --> 00:18:59,220
[airplane whirring]
423
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:06,730
Well, places to go,
People to see.
424
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,230
Bye.
425
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,030
[clears throat]
Get me on the next flight
To morocco.
426
00:19:11,030 --> 00:19:12,430
We've got one going
To hartford right now.
427
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,700
Close enough.
428
00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:16,210
Offering that man
A job with my airline
429
00:19:16,710 --> 00:19:18,610
Would be the stupidest thing
I could do.
430
00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:21,110
He's totally unreliable.
He'd never be on time.
431
00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:22,610
He'd do nothing
But try my patience.
432
00:19:22,610 --> 00:19:24,310
Uh-huh.
So, why are you
Going to do it?
433
00:19:24,310 --> 00:19:26,310
I haven't
The slightest idea.
434
00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:29,850
Uh, brian?
435
00:19:32,850 --> 00:19:34,860
If you're still interested
In working with me,
436
00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:36,360
I could always use
A good pilot.
437
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,360
Hey, uh, thanks, joe,
I appreciate it.
438
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,360
But I don't take
Jobs out of pity.
439
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:41,360
Take it easy.
440
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,270
Oh, and do yourself
A favor.
441
00:19:43,270 --> 00:19:45,130
Lighten up a little.
442
00:19:45,430 --> 00:19:47,440
I'll try to.
443
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,770
I don't want
To end up sitting on
Howard hughes' kleenex.
444
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,080
Joe hackett,
One of the world's
True funny men.
445
00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,220
See you around, baggy pants.
446
00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:03,620
Say, I recognize this key.
It opens one of our lockers.
447
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,620
Oh, I don't believe it.
448
00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:09,090
Hey, lowell,
See if this fits number 5.
449
00:20:09,090 --> 00:20:11,090
[clearing throat]
Hang on, mom.
450
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,670
There's a suitcase in here.
You want it?
451
00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:19,640
Yes.
452
00:20:19,630 --> 00:20:21,140
Ok.
453
00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:27,680
I'd like it duly noted
That this scratch was
On the suitcase.
454
00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:30,750
(both)
Lowell!
455
00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:34,650
Ok.
456
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:35,650
Now, remember, brian,
457
00:20:36,150 --> 00:20:39,090
Whatever's in this suitcase,
We split in 2.
458
00:20:39,090 --> 00:20:40,590
What if it's a puppy?
459
00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:46,090
Brian,
It's been a long day.
460
00:20:46,730 --> 00:20:48,230
Oh, open it already.
461
00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:49,730
Ok, you ready?
Ready.
462
00:20:49,730 --> 00:20:51,230
Here we go.
463
00:20:51,230 --> 00:20:53,240
[women screaming]
464
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,440
What does this mean?
465
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,950
Well, for one thing
It means pop's funnier
Dead than you are alive.
466
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:08,550
Wait a minute, there's
Something else in here.
467
00:21:09,050 --> 00:21:10,050
[exclaiming]
468
00:21:10,050 --> 00:21:12,050
It's a picture of you and me
When we were kids.
469
00:21:12,050 --> 00:21:13,560
Swimming at gibbs' pond.
470
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,560
Look, we're together
And we're both smiling.
471
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,060
I think it's the last time
That happened.
472
00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:20,560
Hey, uh, dad wrote
Something on the back.
473
00:21:23,570 --> 00:21:25,070
"You're rich."
474
00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:27,570
So, this whole
Wild goose chase...
475
00:21:28,070 --> 00:21:30,770
I guess,
Maybe dad just wanted us
To spend some time together.
476
00:21:31,270 --> 00:21:34,280
Yeah,
I guess maybe dad wasn't
As crazy as we thought, huh?
477
00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:40,750
(roy)
Announcing final boarding
478
00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:44,490
For aeromass
Flight 17 to hartford.
479
00:21:44,490 --> 00:21:46,320
That means you, hackett.
480
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,130
Give me a minute.
481
00:21:50,130 --> 00:21:54,130
Hey, uh,
Do you mind if I keep this?
It's a great picture of me.
482
00:21:54,130 --> 00:21:55,630
What's wrong with me?
483
00:21:55,630 --> 00:21:58,630
What?
Besides those swimming trunks
Up around your armpits?
484
00:21:58,630 --> 00:22:00,140
Is that job offer
Still good?
485
00:22:00,140 --> 00:22:03,240
My swimming trunks?
What about
That doofus haircut?
486
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,740
You can start tomorrow.
Yeah, great.
487
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:07,480
[glasses clinking]
And look at those ears.
They look like hubcaps.
488
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,040
[glasses clinking]
What is that big round thing
In the water?
489
00:22:10,050 --> 00:22:12,050
How did a whale
Get in gibbs' pond?
490
00:22:12,050 --> 00:22:13,050
A whale?
491
00:22:15,050 --> 00:22:16,550
Good lord, that's me!
492
00:22:17,550 --> 00:22:18,790
Give me that.
36983
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