All language subtitles for Family.Time.S08E13.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

[Instrumental Music]

Oh, no.

What's wrong Tony? You have
that Alicia Keys nightmare

where you just keep fallin'?
[Laughter]

No, it was the Al Green dream

where I spill grits on myself.
[Laughter]

But that's not why
I'm saying "oh, no".

I'm saying "oh no," 'cause I'm
waking up to another nightmare.

'Scuse me?

I know that Lisa energy.

You kepe movin'
around all busy,

that means you
bout to play hostess.

Every time you do that,

that means there's gonna be a
billion freeloaders in my house.

Tony!
[Laughter]

I told you I'm throwing
a New Year's party.

Yeah? And What did I say?

You said, "yeeeah, sounds fine."

Okay, but I
don't sound like that.

Yeah, yeah you do,
every time you lie.

Lie? I've never lied.
[Laughter]

What about that time
I asked you if I looked

fat in that red dress,
and you told me no?

Uh-huh. Yeah, Tony, I
heard what you told Donnie.

What'd you hear me say?

What you got, cameras hidden
around here somewhere?

Listen, I said "phat" with a PH.

- There's a difference.
- Mm-hmm.

What about that time, oh-

Okay, okay,
alright, alright, fine, I lie!

I lie to protect you.

Oh, there's another lie.

No, it's an alternative fact.
[Laughter]

Whatever, Tony.

So you really don't want
to do this party with me?

[Tony Sighs]
No, I really don't.

Come on Tony, it's
gonna be fun, I'm tellin' you.

And since we're in the 20's,

the theme could be Roaring 20's.

Okay see, you're not
happy when I lie,

you're not happy
when I tell the truth,

tell me what did you want?

I want you

to be genuinely excited about
hosting this party with me.

Come on, you could
even dress up like Eddie
Murphy in "Harlem Nights".

Oh, now there's an idea.

And then when your
bigfoot sisters show up-

Ah-ah-ah! There will be no
shooting pinky toes at my party.

[Laughter]
Alright, fine.

As long as this 20's party
ain't prohibition themed I'm in.

Deal.
[Laughter]

* Woke up and my wife said to me

* The bill collectors
want their fees

* The kids keep
talkin' back to me

* Family Time

* Family Time,
*Family Time, Family Time

[Instrumental Music]

Hey man, you
better be there tonight,

I need somebody on my side.

Your side for what?

You know how it is,

Lisa and I get into an argument,

then Lori and Rachel chime in,

then next thing you know,
Vivian and Cheryl show up...
[Donnie Yelps]

What, what the hell was that?
[Laughter]

Uh, nothin'.

Okay, 'cause it seemed
like you made a
noise when I said "Cheryl".

[Donnie Yelps]

There it is again.
[Laughter]

What is wrong with you?

Uh, uh, I, hiccups, man.

Um, Cheryl's gonna be there?

Yeah, so what?

Okay.

I gotta tell you a secret.

Eh, man, get yo
ass back over there.

I don't want nobody to hear me.

There's no one down here.
[Laughter]

Alright, um...

You know what, you
are a great father,

and I've always
wanted to tell you that,

me and Cheryl made
out the other night.

What!? Cheryl? Scoot over, man!
[Laughter]

"Cheryl", Cheryl?

What other Cheryl do you know?

- Bougie Cheryl?
- Don't talk about my Cheryl.

Oh, now she's your Cheryl.
How did it happen?

[Donnie Sighs]

It happened here,
the other night man,
underneath the mistletoe.

[Laughter]

That's, that's wild, man.

I, I never would've
pegged you two.

Yeah, me neither.

She's not my type
personality wise, you know?

Not even physically.

You know, like she fine,

but you know, I like my
girls thicker than a Snicker.
[Laughter]

Okay, so,

you both made out, a little
drunk, you know, it happens.

It'll be a little awkward,
but you'll get over it.
[Laughter]

[Donnie Sighs]

I just can't stop
thinkin' about Cheryl.

Oh, boy.

I mean, I know we're not right
for each other like, at all but,

I just can't get her off my
mind ever since that kiss.

Hmm, well then
that begs the question.

What question?

At midnight tonight,
are you two gonna...

Kiss again!
[Laughter]

Ooh... I, I don't know...

It's midnight on New Year's Eve!

It's gonna be the
perfect opportunity to just

kiss one more time.

Wait, wait, wait, why
are we encouraging
this Cheryl-Donnie thing?

Because it's kind of romantic.

And also kind of disgusting.

[Cheryl Laughs] Yeah.

- I'd say a little disgusting.
- Mm-hmm.

So disgusting, I don't
even want to eat anymore.
[Laughter]

Oh, come on ladies,
he's not that bad.

He's kinda cute, right?

Dude, I once saw him eat
a hot dog out the trash can.

And enjoy it.

You have to admit Cheryl,

Donnie's not exactly your type.

I mean, I pictured
you with someone more

just more sophisticated.

Worldly.

Donnie is, is
sophisticated and worldly,

in his... own way.
[Laughter]

Donnie isn't even worldly enough

to go to the Paris
hotel in Vegas.
[Laughter]

He's more of a
Circus Circus type guy.

Okay, ladies,
I, I completely agree.

He is nothing like my type.

I mean, if I was to make
a list of the things I'm
looking for in a man...

- Donnie would not check a box.
- Mm.

So then why can I not
get this kiss out of my mind?

'Cause you ain't
got nobody else.
[Laughter]

- Hey, what's up y'all?
- Oh!

What y'all up here talkin' bout?

Hennessy.

[All Talking At Once] The plight
of the black man in America.

Yeah, and 2020.

- I mean, there's a lot goin on.
- First shot, straight up.

Okay, uh, alright,
well um, I'll just

get out of here, I gotta get
ready for the party tonight.

Uh, good to see you, Cheryl.

[Cheryl Stammering]

Won, wonderful
to see you, Donald.
[Laughter]

And I, I, I will see
you later at the...

[Softly] at the party tonight.

Alright, so we...

- Oh, um...
- Ah, ha!
[Laughter]

Eh, alright, that's...

Uh, backdoor this way.
[Laughter]

[Donnie Clears His Throat]

[Laughter]

That was harder to
watch than white people
doing the Electric Slide.

[Laughing]

[Instrumental Music]

Extra, extra, read all about it!

Dad's eating the
snacks before the party.

Boy, you keep runnin' your
mouth and you're gonna be

sleeping with the
fishes see? Nyah, see?
[Laughter]

Mm, I seen the future,

and it has dad getting
in trouble with mom
for touching the food.

Listen, this is my house, okay?

I can touch the snacks
if I damn well please.

Y'all look nice by the way.
Nice costumes. Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh. Daaaaaamn!

Okay, okay!
[Laughter]

[Tony] Mm-mm-mm!

Uh oh! Uh, you, okay.

It's this train.

It's kinda long,
there's a lot of material.

Tony, what, are you
eating the snacks already?

No! I was holding
these for Devin.

- Boy, put them
snacks back, let's go.
- Mm-hmm.

Dahling, is that another one
of your "alternative facts?"

- Uh, no baby.
- Mm-hmm.

[Doorbell Rings]
[Laughter]

Saved by the bell.

[Lisa Laughs]

You all look so good!

Well look at you two!

- Hello!
- Look at us?

Look at you!

Yeah, lookin'
like a real Fem Fatal.

Well, it's femme fatale, sis.
[Laughter]

Um, who's this?

I'm they bodyguard.

Yes, we're madams, and
our ladies of the evening

need protection.
[Laughter]

Bodyguard, go
wait in the corner.

Yes, ma'am.
[Laughter]

Who y'all 'sposed to be?

Ugly Boy Floyd and
Machine Gums Kelly?

[Laughter]

Whatever, Al Capounds.

[Doorbell]
Yeah,

- Duke Belly-tons.
Alright, alright, okay.
[Laughter]

What's up, my homie?

You know what it is, my G.

I got that turn
up juice on deck!

You already know!

Hey my man, what is that?

That better not be no liquor
you brought in my house, boy.

Oh, liquor! Somebody say liquor?
[Laughter]

Yeah, re-re-relax everybody,

relax, relax, it's just
Kool-Aid with three
pounds of sugar, alright?

- We about to be lit.
- You already know.
[Laughter]

Chim-chim-chimney, everyone.

Donnie, where are you coming in
from? We don't have a chimney.

Aw, y'all gotta start
locking that back door
if you don't want me to use it.

Look, I don't think they had
chimney sweeps in 1920.

1920? I thought
this was a 1820 party.
[Laughter]

Then you should be
dressed like Kunta Kinte.
[Laughter]

Hello, hello.

Hope you don't
mind, your back door

was unlocked.

Oh, I thought I locked it.

Uh, what, what's up Cheryl?

Donald.

Girl, who are
you supposed to be?

Josephine La Fakehair?

Oh, yes.

I mean, it's a 20's themed party

and Josephine Baker
was a Renaissance woman.

She took Paris by storm,

so, I think it's
historically relevant.

You do realize that
she was a performer

during a rough time for black
people in this country, right?

Well that's true. Um...

but you know, if
you think about it,

has there ever been a good
time for black people?

- Hello!
- Ah, woo! Hey!

[Laughter]

Besides, you know I
look cute in this dress.

[Donnie Chuckles]
Yes, you do.

Uh, I mean, you know, you, you
look a'ight, you know, whatever.

[Laughter]

I hope you're all ready,

because tonight

you're all gonna be
involved in a murder mystery,

just like Tupac and Biggie!

Ooh!
[Laughter]

Hold on, did she say "murder"?

Aight, I gonna be
waitin' in the car, um,

I got two strikes,
I'm up outa here.

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

Murder mystery?

Sorry to hijack your party Lisa,

but I heard about
this murder mystery

party game, and I
thought it would be so
much fun to play tonight!

Yeah I mean I guess we
already are dressed up
like murder mystery characters.

Exactly!

I think it was Devin.

Yeah, he always look
like he hidin' something.

Oh, he is hiding something.

He's always hiding those
special magazines under his bed.

Shut up, Ross,

we haven't even
started the game yet!
[Laughter]

Well in that case,
it must be Ebony.

Yeah, I know a
killer when I see one.

You're probably
hiding the murder weapon

underneath the lace frock.
[Laughter]

Okay, that's cold Uncle Donnie.

How do we know
you're not the murderer?

You can kill us with them
dread spikes under your hat!

[Laughter]

- Whatever.
- Mm-hmm.

- I'm watchin' you!
- Mm-hmm.

- Okay, so how do we play?
- Okay,

I'm so glad you asked, Lisa.

So first,

I'm gonna pass
out these strings.

Here you go. Tony, if
you could pass 'em down.

You just tie them
loosely around your wrist,

um, but not too tight,

and don't make a knot,

also, there's a little
magnet there that just

holds them together real easy.

- Oh, cool.
- Okay?

Uh, do we all have to play?

The sooner we start playin',

the sooner we can
get to drinking later.

Oh, no, no, no, you
can drink during the game.

- Oh!
- Oh, well I'm in, then.

[Chuckles]

Okay, so now,

I'm gonna randomly
pass out these cards.

Here you go, now
don't show anyone.

Now one, and only one, of these

is marked as the killer.

So, if you're the killer, you
just start killing people.

And everyone else just has to

catch the killer, and
that's the whole game!

It was Devin!
[Laughter]

No, it was not.
[Laughter]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

What if I don't wanna
kill or be killed?

Well it's just a game,

you kill someone
by untying their string,

and if your string gets untied,

you're dead.

But what if I

untie it and tie it back
before anybody notices?

Oh, oh yeah! Uh,

can we resurrect, like Jesus?

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

You're missing the point.

if your string gets untied,

you're dead, okay?

Now if all the
strings get untied

before the killer gets caught,

they win.

Alright? So, to
get this started,

let's have someone
turn the lights off,

to give the killer
a chance to strike.

Ooh, I got it.

[Rachel] Exciting!

Have fun, you guys.

[Vivian] Alright.

[Lori] Somebody
pinched my booty.

[All Laughing]

[Vivian] And lights back up!

- Alright, now,
[Lori] I kept mine.

whoever is missing their
string is the first victim.

Damn it! I'm the
first one killed?!
[Laughter]

That's so unfair, I've been
so excited to play this!

Well it's about time
the white lady got
killed first in the movie.

Ooh, you know what?

Viv, if you can't
stand the heat,

best get out the kitchen.

Ha, ha, ha!

'Cause she said the
kitchen, 'cause it'd be hot!

Cheryl, that was funny.

What I said was funny, too!

I'm sorry, I only heard Cheryl.

Tony, where's your
circuit breaker?

The man cave, why?

Well, since I'm already dead,

I might as well jiggle
the lights on and off.
[Laughter]

Keep the fun going
for the rest of you,

that way murders can
happen in any room.

[Laughter]

So, any of us could
be the murderer?

Let the games begin.

[All Laughing]
[Instrumental Music]

Adults are such hypocrites
when they raise kids.

They tell you you can't
play violent video games,

then they play murder mystery.

Exactly. When I have kids,
I'm gonna do the opposite.

If they play video
games, I'm gonna reward
them with junk food.

And if they do homework
or eat vegetables? Pff!

They grounded!
[Laughter]

Ross, you gonna have
the dumbest kids.

Don't tell me how
to raise my kids.

Okay, okay, well,

I say we should team up

so we can win this
murder mystery game,

so we can get some real party.

Hoo-hoo! Facts.

Protect you string
with your life.

- So who do you think did it?
- Hmm...

Donnie, he's too stupid.

And we'd be able to tell
if it was my mom or dad.

Honestly, I think it was
aunt Rachel or aunt Lori.

Yeah, they wouldn't
hesitate to kill your dad.
[Laughter]

Or what about
that rag-doll Cheryl?

Mm, I could see her
murder somebody.

With that fake polite smile.
[Laughter]

[Both] Oh!

Ross, my wristband is gone!

- How could you?!
- Don't look at me,
mine's gone too!

Damn. The killer got away.

[Ebony Giggles]

Oh hey Ebony, what
are you doing down here?

Ugh, they were up there arguing,

I just came down here to
get some peace and quiet.

Yeah, well you're
safe down here.

Mm, I don't know about safe,

now correct me if I'm wrong,

but you became friends
with some murderers

when you went on
that extended vacation.

Hey, I had to make sure
somebody was watching my back

when I was doing my time.
[Laughter]

And that looks delicious.

Oh, you can have some.

I mean, I took a few sips,
but I don't got the cooties.

Mm. Ooh! Ah!

What'd you spike that with?

Nothing aunt Viv,

this is Ross's Kool Aid,

it just has a
lot of sugar in it.

That boy's gonna need an insulin
shot by the end of the night.
[Laughter]

So, how's it going up
there, you got any leads?

I think it's Donnie.

You know, he plays
dumb, but he's tricky.
[Laughter]

Alright, so you want to
cause another murder?
[Ebony Gasps]

- I'll do the honors!
- Okay, be my guest.

[Laughter]

[Vivian] Oh, I like to
leave it for a little bit.

- Let the killer make
the hit and get away.
[Ebony] Okay.

[Ebony] Is this enough time?
[Vivian] Uh, yeah I think so.

[Gasps] I've been killed!

Did you kill me?!

No, I was the first
one dead, remember?

Wow, whoever's
the killer is good.

I might need their
services one day.

[Laughter]
[Instrumental Music]

So, who do you
think the killer is?

Are we still playin' that?
[Laughter]

Hello ladies.

Now, have we seen anyone
come in or out of the man cave?

[Both] Nope.
[Laughter]

Let me know if you want
to go over clues later.

- Don't let this
mind go to waste.
[Rachel] Uh-huh.

[Laughing] I think
she killed 'em.

Yeah, killed my buzz.
[Laughter]

Oh look, I think I got an idea.

Ooh, I lke where yo head is at!
[Laughter]

Oh, no!

I think we just got killed.

Ouch, bang, bang, shank, shank.

Oh no, I'm dead, too.

And now we can't play this

dumb-ass game and gotta
stay in the kitchen and drink,

Oh, ha!

[Instrumental Music]

Hey Cheryl, look, we grown,

you know what I mean? Uh...

I'm feelin' you, you feelin' me,

and I gotta tell you,
ever since that night,

there's somethin'
I wanna tell you.

These chips are good.

I wanted you to have some.

Uh, and that's why
you're the murderer.
[Laughter]

What? No, absolutely not!

What's going on?

Oh, well Cheryl went into the
kitchen, and when she came out,

both Lori and Rachel were dead.

I went to get a drink.
[Laughter]

Alright, well in that case,

it was Devin all along!

Man, uncle Donnie, we
got killed a long time ago.

It was dirty.

Well uh, that was my
first time in the kitchen.

Hmm, okay then,

Tone, where were you
comin' from just now?

I was in the bathroom.
[Laughter]

Uh-huh. Well let
me smell your hands.
[Laughter]

Give me the other
one. The other one!
[Laughter]

Alright, y'all got some
good soap up in there.

Your story check out.
[Laughter]

Mm-hmm, unless
he washed his hands...

after murdering his own child.

Mm...

Well, ah, it doesn't fit.

It has to be the one person
that wasn't in this room.

[Whispers] Ebony!

Oh, I've been dead, too.

I just came back
from the man cave.

Sherlock Homeboy.

Oh!
[Laughter]

I've been killed!

[Instrumental Music]

Okay, okay, it's time
to put an end to this game

once and for all, now who
still got they strings left?

Oh, okay.

Now out of the three of us,

I'm clearly,

clearly, obviously,
not the killer.

So I'm just gonna
rule myself out.

How is that obvious?

Don't interrupt me during
my big speech baby, listen up.

[Clears Throat] Now,

between you and Cheryl,

you both have had equal
opportunity to make the hit.

But it's obviously not Lisa,

'cause she would never
harm her own children,

even in a fictional game.

Yeah, that is true,

she doesn't even charge us
rent when we play Monopoly.
[Laughter]

Plus, she's a terrible liar.

[All Agreeing]

I, I, I, actually, I'm
really not. That's not true.

Trash. She couldn't play
dead at a funeral, you
know what I'm talkin' about?

Alright, which brings us

to Cheryl.

- Mm.
- Oh.

Seemingly pleasant,

got Donnie wrapped
around her little finger,
[Laughter]

but that's a little too obvious.

See, every mystery
has a red herring.

And that leaves one option.

- You.
- Wrong!

- Vivian! Get out here!
- [Vivian] Yes?
[Laughter]

You have been
the killer all along.

Uh, need I remind you,
she was the first to die.

Seemingly. She died early,

a little too early.

She was the first one that
wanted to play this game,

maybe that was her master plan

all along, huh?

Fake her own death,

have us all confused,

going at each other,
isn't that right, Vivian?!

Yup.

- Yeah, we, wow.
- Huh?

- Wow.
- Huh? Huh?

- That...
- Oh, good job.

...that was a wonderful speech

Tony, yes! But unfortunately,

it was all alternative facts.

- Huh?
- And, unfortunately,

You're both dead.

[Both Gasp]

You're not the only
one that can lie, Tony.
[Laughter]

[Women] Oooh! Oh yes, queen!

[Lori] That's my sister!

[Instrumental Music]

Are you pouting
because I beat you?

I'm pouting because
the love of my life,

my wife,

murdered me in cold blood

like she found out I had
a mistress or something.

Oh, stop it.

You're just mad because
you found out I'm better
at lying than you are.

Okay, let's not
forget, lying is a sin.

Okay, well then stop telling
little white lies around
the house, okay?

And please stop calling
them "alternative facts".

Okay, well that's a dela.

I'm sorry I falsely
accused you of murder.

Oh, that's okay,
it's just a game.

- I'm sorry you were murdered.
- Me too.

Oh, hey you guys,
it's almost midnight!

[All] Oh!
- Here.

- Grab champagne!
- Alright.

Alright, ready?

[All] Ten, nine, eight,

seven, six, five,

four, three, two, one,

happy New Year! Woo!

[All] Cheers, cheers.

Uh, Happy New Years, Cheryl.

Happy New Year, Donnie.

[Laughter]

What the hell.

[She Gasps]

[All] Ooh!

[Singing] Donnie and Cheryl
kissin' in a tree,

- K-I-S-S-I-N-
- Shut the hell up!

Yeah you two,
leave the lovebirds alone.

Oh.
[Laughter]

- Ready? Shall we?
- Ready?

[Singing] Should auld
acquaintance be forgot

* and never brought to mind

* Should auld
acquaintance be forgot

* And auld lang syne

Happy New Year!

Oh!

My hangover is so
tough, I think I'm actually

for prohibition.
[Laughter]

Maybe you should make your New
Years resolution to drink less.

I'll make that the resolution
for the rest of the day.

My New Year's resolution

is to never tell
alternative facts.

Okay, I'll stop lying.

[She Laughs]

You know, I think mine
is gonna be to read at
least one book a month.

- Ooh, that's a good one.
- Yeah.

I think I'm gonna
try a new language.

- Oh, which one?
- Mandarin.

Mandarin? Isn't that a fruit?

No, it's a language
in China, and

I'm gonna be prepared when
China takes over the world.

What about you Devin,
any new resolutions?

Mm, I wish to
have a billion dollars.

Okay, yeah honey,
resolutions aren't wishes.

Then I resolve to
have a billion dollars.
[Laughter]

Alright Warren Buff-brain.

[Instrumental Music]