All language subtitles for Family.Time.S08E10.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

[Lisa] Tony, just use the wire
cutters for your toenail.

Hurry up!

"I Love New Jersey"
'bout to come on.

Oh, okay, okay.

Did I miss anything?

No, not yet.

Who you think she gone pick?

I don't know, it's
hard to say, Lisa.

One minute she's all
over Two-Tone Terry,

and next thing you know, she's
in love with Median Melvin.

You know her and Median
Melvin go way back.

They had a connection
since Season 1.

Baby, the only thing that goes
way back is that man's hairline.

It's like a detox release
date, it just keeps
getting pushed back.

Okay now see, there's nothing
he can do about that,

kind of like your widow's peak.
[Laughter]

Ha, ha.

Well, he could cut it off.

Both he and New Jersey
need to get with the

Rapunzel program and let it go.

Besides, she's just gonna
pick whoever's best for
the ratings anyway.

Ratings?

please, this has nothing
to do with ratings.

Absolutely nothing. She is
on here to find real love.

Real love?
[Laughter]

Baby, you think you can
stick 20 grown-ass men

in one house, all
chasing the same

woman and nobody gets killed?
[Laughter]

I don't know, okay,

but I do think it's possible
for these shows to

find people true love.

No, no, see, the way that
my parents hooked up,

in the real world,
that's how you do it.

Oh, okay, I see, so meeting

somebody at a Ray
Charles concert is

the love story we
should all aspire for.

Yeah, better than this.
[Laughter]

But apparently, my mother
actually met Ray Charles.

But it's a good thing that
everything worked out
between her and my dad,

because then it would
have been a little Ray

instead of a little Tony,
and I wouldn't have
seen the light of day.

But see, they've been
married 50 years and,

still goin' strong.

Yeah, yeah, I'll give you that.

Mm-hmm, and look at us.

All this time,
and I still love you

and I didn't have to fight
through 20 temporary
roommates to find you.

- Yeah, love you too, baby.
- Mm-hmm.

But if I had to pick someone,

I say she goes
with Illiterate Ian.

For some reason they still
seem to be on the same page

♪ Woke up and my wife said to me

♪ The bill collectors
want their fees

♪ The kids keep
talking back to me

♪ Family Time

♪ Family Time, Family Time,
Family Time

[Instrumental Music]

Hey dad, happy Thanksgiving.

Yeah, yeah, happy
Thanksgiving, son.

Oh, I see you
got the pre-game on.

I hear this is gonna
be a good one.

Yeah, about that, um,

something I want to
talk to you about, son.

Uh-oh, let me guess,

I got a 50 year old brother
that lives two cities away.

What's his name, Ray?
[Laughter]

Come on, give it
to me straight, dad.

I always felt like there
was a part of me out
there somewhere, missing.

Nah, no, no, no.
[Laughter]

But if you think
there's something missing,
I know the number of a

gastroenterologist who is real
thorough and stealthy.
[Laughter]

You won't even know he's there.
[Laughter]

I kind of feel like I would.

So, what's up?

Uh...
[Sighs]

son, your mother and
I are splitting up.

Oh, splitting the bills?

Yeah, I wish Lisa and
I would do that some-

wait, wait, wait,
splitting up? Why?

Wha- what did you do?

I, uh, what? Me?
I didn't do anything.

You know, sometimes in marriage
you just grow apart. I mean,

after 50 years you wake up
to a stranger. It happens.

I, I, I don't understand.
Was it something I did?

No, no, no, no, son.
[Laughter]

Don't blame yourself now, your
mother and I love you very much.

Okay so, who's
gonna get custody?

Of what, of who?
What, what, what?

Of me!
[Laughter]

Son, you're a grown-ass man.

Stop making this about yourself.

I'm looking at this like it's a
second chance in my life.

Oh, I didn't realize that
you needed a redo.
[Laughter]

You know, we got married
when I was 18 years old.

We didn't really know
who each other were

before we decided to spend
the rest of our lives together.

Now it makes sense
why she would go on a
trip with her church group.

Yeah.

Now I finally get a
chance to be a bachelor!

Uh, don't you think
that ship has sailed?
[Laughter]

And the currents of life have
brought it right back to me.

[Laughter]

Now I'm the captain.
[Laughter]

Okay, Captain Morgan Freeman.
[Laughter]

Not listen,don't expect me to
call your new wife "mamma".

Uh, do you even know
where you gonna stay?

Damn right, I'm
staying right here.

- With you.
- What?

Took care of yo
ass for 17 years.

Then I gave you a head start
in life when I gave you a

business, now I'm
collecting on my investment.

- It's like that?
- Just like that.

Gonna stay right
here in this room.
[Laughter]

It needs a little work.

But nothing a couple of
Pam Grier posters won't fix.

[Laughter]

Okay, before you put my man cave

in the time machine, let me

talk to Lisa, make
sure it's okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
gotta check in, huh?

[Laughter]
[Chuckles]

Yeah, I don't miss that.
[Laughter]

Hey, hey son, what, what
is a DM and how do I

slide over to Diana Ross?

[Laughter]

[Tony] So, my parents
had another fight.

Oh, what else is new?

Well this time

Okay, yeah Tony,
I mean, no offense,

but I don't need an
update every time your
parents get into a fight.

Baby, I'm trying to get the
house ready for Thanksgiving.

[Knocking]
Alright.

Oh! And there are the kids!

Ha-ha! There they are!

Come on in here man.

- Heavy, huh?
- Yeah.

Use your legs.

- Let me get that, baby.
- Thank you.

[Lisa] My babies!

Give me love.

- Hi mom.
- Hi baby.

- Happy Thanksgiving.
- Happy Thanksgiving, honey!

So, come on, tell me all about
it. How's college? Fill me in.

Okay, I know I'm your
favorite child mom,

but, my mustache and
beard will connect

if I get a little Beijing.

You can't keep
calling me your baby.

[Tony] Okay, well just make
sure you stay this time.

I'm not gonna be so
nice next time around.

Two strikes, you out.

I thought it was three.

I ain't got Dodger money.
All you get is two strikes.

Don't make me get my bat.

Well, there's nothing for you to
worry about dad, 'caause I'm

almost caught up
in all my classes

and I started my own group.

Wow, your own group?

- That's impressive.
- Uh-huh, alright.

I knew them Stallworth
genes would finally kick in,

they just runnin'
on CPT, that's all.

Yup. I got almost 200 people

to sign up for the
"Two Term For Test Club."

Okay, well good luck getting
that club off the ground, honey.

How 'bout you
baby, how's college?

Eh, it's different,
but I'm adjusting.

Between studying for my
midterms and trying to
get my life there situated,

I keep myself pretty busy.

Okay, yeah, now busy is good,

but don't get too busy
to study hard, okay?

Th first year is usually when
you set the tone to either

excel and get ahead
of the class, or

you know, the flop,
and have to make up
classes at community college.

Mm-hmm.
[Laughter]

You do know I'm
sitting right here?

Don't take it personal son,

your mother's just using your
downfall to inspire Ebony.

Baby, keep working
hard, you'll be fine.

It's just a transitional period.

Yeah, I mean, that's just the
whole college experience, baby.

But I'm sure it's
gonna get easier

and everything will start
to become second nature.

I'm sure I will, too.

Well, I'm so glad to
have you all home,

wash up, everybody's
gonna be here soon.

[Heavy Sigh]

Thanks for the encouraging
words, you guys.

I'm pretty sure everything
will get better with time.

That's something my
therapist taught me.

Did she say "therapist"?

- Yeah.
- The Freud?
[Laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

[Stammering] A therapist?
A therapist, Lisa?!

Come on, therapy is for

for middle aged white women
that hate they husbands,

not for our Ebony.

Tony, she is becoming
a young woman,

and she's not gonna want to
tell her parents everything.

So she'd rather tell a stranger

with a little piece of paper
and a casting couch?

Come on Lisa, I don't
understand why you're
not freaking out about this.

Because Tony, I've read
numerous articles that

say how healthy and actually
very beneficial it can be

for young people
to see a therapist.

Yeah, maybe for little Connor.
[Laughter]

'Cause all he's gonna say is how

mad he is at his
momma for buying him a

Porsche when he specifically
asked for a Maserati.
[Laughter]

No, studies really show that

kids learn to be
emotionally mature

- Hmm.
- while talking to a therapist.

Which is something
most adults struggle with.

I never wend to go see no damn

therapist, and I
am emotionally mature.

Tony, you didn't talk to me for
a week because you thought I

threw away that
ugly sweater of yours.
[Laughter]

Okay, first of all,
I loved that sweater.

Okay, my grand-mamma
gave me that sweater.

Eh, that's besides the point.

Look, I grew up on the
other side of the tracks,

where kids are
exposed to a lot more,

and none of us went
to no damn therapy.

In fact, if I told my
parents I needed to talk,

they'd say, "just go outside
or, or lay down somewhere".

[Laughter]

I guess that's probly
why they breaking up.

Wait, what? What happened?

I don't know. my dad said that
they're growing apart, and

he's looking forward to the next

phase of his life as a bachelor.
[Laughter]

- A who?
- Yeah, yeah, I know.

And uh...

he also said he
wants to move in here.

Oh, no.

Yeah, no, no, no, no.
[Laughter]

No, that's, that's, I don't
think that's gonna work.

Yeah, me neither, but he's my
daddy, what am I gonna do?

[Rachel] Lisa! Lisa!

I don't know how to work
this old-ass stove

you got down here and I need
to make my mac and cheese!
[Laughter]

Lisa, I think your sister
Chicken Little is calling you.

She was supposed to
be here an hour ago.
[Laughter]

We...

we'll finish this
conversation later.

Just tell Rachel to hurry up.

Maybe she got an audition to
play the rooster in Creed 3.

[Laughter]
[Instrumental Music]

[Donnie] Tone, you are in
for a treat this Thanksgiving.

Good, I need something positive.

Man, dig this, my
parents are breaking up

and my dad wants
to come stay here.

What happened?

I don't know, but I
hope it's temporary.

Anyway, what were you sayin'?

Oh, you mean before
you interrupted me?

Well...
[Laughter]

you know how you and
Lisa always complainin'

that I ate all the leftovers of

Thanksgiving, and yadda
yadda yadda, well this year,

I got a turkey that's
more than enough

for everybody. I'm
talkin 'bout this is the

Shaquille of all turkeys.
[Laughter]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Shaq
turkeys. Okay, let me ask
you a question now,

What do you think about therapy?

Oh, I love therapy.

I saw a therapist when I was
a kid when I broke my arm,

my mom had that good insurance.

No, no, no, no.
[Laughter]

Not physical therapy,
I mean therapy-therapy.

Oh you mean, sit on
the leather couch and

tell a stranger all
your business therapy.

- Yes.
- I don't believe in that.

Thank you. I knew
I could count on you.

Why don't you believe it?

Same reason I go to Burger
Prince and order the kids meal.

See when I was a kid, my
mom used to always say,

"do ya got Burger Prince money?"

And now that I do,
I want the nuggets,

and them damn toys!
[Laughter]

Look, I have no idea
what you're talkin' about,

but I think you might
just need some therapy.

Or to lay down somewhere.

Look, my, my point is,

who's gonna feel
comfortable telling a

complete stranger
all their business?

Exactly.

Okay, I've been married
to Lisa for 20 years and I,

I just started sleeping
with my socks off.

Look man, no disrespect,

I love you like a brother,
but I don't give a

damn about your toes, man.
[Laughter]

Look, you know only
people who feel comfortable

talkin' to therapists
are serial killers.

'Cause they get a chance
to really be honest,

to talk about how and
why they did what they did.

And they get off scot-free

because of that
whole doctor patient
confidentiality loop hole.

You a serial killer, Tone?
[Laughter]

Fool, if I was a serial killer,

you would've been on the
back of a milk carton years ago.

No, it's Ebony.

Ebony's a serial killer?!
[Laughter]

I always knew it was something
with them damn lace press.

No, man!
[Laughter]

Look, Ebony is
seeing a therapist.

Why would she do that?

I don't know, she told
Lisa and I earlier today,

I, I just can't wrap my
mind around why.

Well, if you think about it,

she never really
needed a therapist 'til
she went away to college.

Good point.
Think she's in trouble?

I don't know. Could be.

Or maybe, she's pushing pills

to make money, 'cause she's
tired of that ramen noodle

and hotdog water diet.
[Laughter]

And now she's in
the game too deep.

She's gotta make a
decision between finals

and the game.
[Laughter]

And the game's always callin'.
[Laughter]

You are literally
too stupid to insult.

I appreciate that, man.

It's always good when you
say nice things about me.

[Laughter]
[Instrumental Music]

Hey, Tony! Bring me a lighter,

so I can light this stogie.

[Lisa] Oh, not in
here, you won't.

Oh, Lisa.

When I heard that
flat-footed walk,

I uh, thought it was Tony.
[Laughter]

- Nope, just me.
- Yeah?

Uh-huh. Can I help
you with anything?

Yeah, I'd like a,

a Jack Daniels and
prune juice on the rocks.

[Laughter]

I like to keep everything
smooth, like apple butter.

How 'bout keepin' it smooth
movin' into a nursing home?

You plan on stayin' in
those pajamas all day?

You know,
[Laughter]

I know you a Mrs. Stallworth,

but you're beginning
to sound like another
Mrs. Stallworth I know.

And what about calling
that Mrs. Stallworth?

I've thought about it,
and I'm not gonna do it.
[Laughter]

She made the choice of
uh, putting this fine

black, elegant chocolate
back in the store.

Ooh, that's gotta be expired.

Yeah, as soon as you
and everybody else

get in your mind

that me and your
mother-in-law are finished,

the sooner we can all get
back to our regular lives.

Now, about that Prune-gnac.
[Laughter]

I don't know if you have much
more regular life to live

before you go to that
upper room, bruh.
[Laughter]

[Rachel] How's
daddy daycare going?

Ah, he's still here!

It doesn't look like he's going
anywhere anytime soon.

Mm. I don't envy you.

Living with Shrek
and Shrek's daddy.
[Laughter]

Hey, auntie Rachel!

- Hey Ebony, happy Thanksgiving.
- Thanks, you too.
What's up, mom?

Hey boo, can you and your
brother go and get me

two little things of cinnamon
from the store, please?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, and tell Devin not to
park in the handicap spaces.

Okay? Being a
black man in America

does not qualify
as being a disability.
[Laughter]

I'll tell him.
[Knocking]

Happy Thanksgiving, ladies.

Rachel, you look lovely,

nice color.

Ooh, thank you
Cheryl, you flirting?

You know, once you go
gay, you here to stay.
[Laughter]

No thank you. Thank
you very much, no.

So hey ladies, random,
I have a question.

- Yes.
- How do you feel about therapy?

Oh, I think it is a-

Complete waste of time!

Honey, just divorce
Tony and move on.

- Ebony's seeing one.
- What?!

That's wonderful!

I just love how
progressive today's youth

are. I swear, I was born
a generation too early.

Oh, you were born
premature, alright.

I don't see the point in

telling a stranger your problems

and expecting them to
know the right answers.

Oh, they're not strangers,
they're trained professionals.

Oh, so certified strangers.

Yep, a therapist is
like any relationship,

it just takes a few
sessions and then you
get to know each other.

Oh well, a few sessions costs
more than a few dollars.

It's all a hustle.

Rachel, therapy is
not, it's not a hustle.

No, no it is not a hustle,

it is a very liberating
experience. It's

wonderful to handle stress,

and it can also be
a place of happiness.

Hmm. I never heard of nobody
happy going to therapy.

Therapy gets a
very negative stigma.

You know, kind of like,
light skinned girls are bougie.

Not true, right?

'Cause in reality,
a session can be

just as much, if not more,
positive than it is negative.

Well I still
don't believe in it.

That's fine, because we
can agree to disagree.

Right? Something I'm working
on with my therapist.

I'll do it right now. It's fine.
[Laughter]

And I bet that therapist

is giving you more than mental
advice on that leather couch.

Oh, the chamomile tea.
It's lovely. Two squirts
of honey. It's the best.

[Laughter]
[Instrumental Music]

Son, son, son, slow down.

You're moving so fast, it'd
make my arthritis flare up.

Ah, sorry 'bout that
man, I'm just tryin' to
get to these honeys.

Honeys? Son, you're the
only one down here.

Uh, well first of all,
appreciate
that compliment, but no,

This is a dating app,
it's called Tinder.

You don't care nothin'
about that, you married.

No I'm not, marriage
is for suckers.

I'm a bachelor now.
[Laughter]

- Word? I'm sorry to
hear about that, man.
- Oh, I'm not.

Bachelorhood's gonna be great,

as soon as my son stops
nagging me, now what's
the name of that thing?

Oh, this is Tinder, it's
a dating app, right?

See, you gotta be more
strategic with this.

You know, I myself
like the gorilla tactic.

I swipe right on everything.

I'm swiping right now.
[Laughter]

And what if you get a mud duck?
[Laughter]

Well you want to get
a couple mud ducks,

that's just a part of the
game man, you know,

but then again, you also
gon' find some bad ones.

Uh, a.k.a. some
bad mamma jammas.

- Eh, no, no, let
me see that thing.
- Okay.

Swiping right, right?

Yeah, just like that.
Now, be careful,

I got my age setting between 18

and a hundred,
I don't discriminate.

Wait, wait, wait, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa,

that thing's saying
Beverly Stallworth.

You might want to
swipe left on that one.
[Laughter]

Unless y'all want to work
it out, but I doubt it.
[Laughter]

[Lisa] Alright,
fresh out the oven.

Mm, 'bout time baby,
I'm hungry as hell.

- Tony!
- Alright, alright.

Damn boy, what
are you, a psychic?

He does it every year.

Gotta admire the persistence.

Alright everyone,
can we join hands

so we can bless
this food and eat?

You know actually Lisa, I know
it's not my house or anything-

No, it's not.

I know, I'm just
a welcomed guest.

Tony, thank you
for establishing that.

Anyhow, it would be my
honor if I said a few words.

Okay Cheryl, go
ahead, that's fine.

Should we join hands?
Bow our heads?

Well I am so thankful that we
could all be here together today

and I'm thankful for
having the right people
placed in our lives.

No matter if they're blood or
just someone nice to talk to.

You know, because
they're licensed and
certified by the great

state of California which proves

that they are perfectly
capable of talking to anyone.

And I would know because I too
needed someone to talk to once.

And they were there for me.

Okay Dr. Phillis,
I think she gets it.

Hurry up, and let's eat.

- Happy Thanksgiving,
- Happy Thanksgiving.

Ebony, how's school
going, sweetie?

It's going good, you know tryin'
to get into the college life.

Oh, that's good.

You know you can always call me.

'Cause family is
there for you, okay?

Family is who you
should talk to,

not strangers.
[Laughter]

Ah, right, right,
right, right right!

But also remember

mkay, that there's
absolutely nothing wrong

with talking to someone
you actually want to talk to.

Yeah, not family.

Family is who she should
be comfortable talking to.

That's my point, family.

In fact, what are
you even doing here?

Oh, this, this peach cobbler,
it's, it's really amazing,

anybody get a taste of it?

Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, have,
have you talked to your mother?

No.

Well apparently
her and your aunt

took a last minute
flight to some island.

Now, Stella can get her groove
back, but your mother? No.

[Laughter]

I heard she been
killin' it on Tinder.
[Laughter]

Dad look, mom is just
out living her best life.

That is impossible, I am
the best thing in her life,
and I am not there.

[laughter]

[Cheryl] Well I no longer
agree to disagree with you,

because you're wrong.

No, your eye shadow is wrong.

Speaking of wrong,
and this is my niece,

You don't know
anything about her.

You're not even family, what
are you doing here every-

I get it! Ugh!

You see what you did?
[Scoffs]

You see what you did?
You're pushy.

- Tony?
- Mm-hmm?

- T-Tony!
- Oh, fine.

Waitin' all day to eat this
food and I can't even eat it.

Feel like I need a therapist.
This is bull crap.

Is my grandma really on Tinder?
[Laughter]

Swiped right on her, I
didn't wanna tell nobody.
[Laughter]

[Knocking]
Come in.

Hey sweetie, what's
really going on?

Yeah, out here saying
"therapist" and whatnot.

In my day only therapy was
shock therapy, belt to ass.

What? You were thinking it, too.
[Laughter]

I haven't been completely honest
about my college experience.

It hasn't been as good
as I said it was.

Okay uh, well, talk to us honey.

College has been a
lot harder than I thought.

Between school work and
adjusting to being on my own,

I just felt overwhelmed and

that's why I started
seeing a therapist.

I'm sorry, I hope
you're not mad at me.

Mad at you?

Honey, please, with
your grandfather here,

I'm thinking about going
to therapy myself.
[Laughter]

You're growing up

and taking control of
your mental health,
we're proud of you.

Very proud of you.
You are blossoming into the

great young woman that
I always knew you would be.

You make any father proud.
[Audience] Aww.

Thanks, I love you guys.

We love you too, baby.

Now can we go eat? I'm hungry.
[Laughter]

You guys drive safe!
[Cell Phone Buzzes]

Hello?

Uh, son, um, now I'm
gonna turn your, your man
cave into my bedroom.

Dad, come on, now.

Ah, I'm not gonna make
that many changes,

I'm gonna bring in my
water bed, you know,

still got the water in it from
the 70's, it's nostalgic.

Dad, you are not
bringing your water bed,

your lava lamp and your
ceiling mirror up in my house.

Are you sure you wanna do this?

Son, how many times
do I have to tell you-

For you.

Yeah, for you.

M-yello.

No, you were the
one that said "leave".
[Laughter]

Now you started this whole
thing yourself. You were the one

You, you right, you right.

[Laughter]

- Son.
- Mm?

I've decided to take
your mother back.
[Laughter]

- Well it sounded like-
- Ah! Ah, ah.

- I decided.
- Okay, okay.
[Laughter]

Hey, I'm, I'm just happy that
you guys worked it all out.

Yeah, that's really
great to hear.

Yeah, you women are good.

Make yourself dependable
so a man can't leave.
[Laughter]

- Son!
- Mm?

I'm gonna hit the
road again, um,

just uh, just,
just send my stuff.

Alright.
[Chuckles]

Drive safe, dad.

- Thank you.
- [Lisa] Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving you guys.

Hey, it all worked out.

Donnie, I see you!

Put my Shaq turkey down!

Hey!