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1
00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:03,394
[Instrumental Music]
2
00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:06,136
Ooh, you got this place
smelling like the commissary
3
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:08,356
- on Thanksgiving, Lisa!
- Yeah.
4
00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:09,792
But it doesn't
smell good enough.
5
00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:12,360
I still need the uh, the
macaroni and cheese, the beans,
6
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:15,711
- the greens, the potatoes-
- Okay, okay, whoa, whoa!
7
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,147
Slow down, Shirley Caesar,
8
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:19,715
we have until tomorrow to get
this all done, we'll get there.
9
00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:22,413
Oh, uh, oh!
10
00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:24,981
Or not.
[Lisa Sighs]
11
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,331
I;m so nervous,
Viv, I just want this
12
00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:29,942
to be perfect.
13
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:32,554
Ha! Yeah, well don't
worry, you just got to keep
your composure, Lisa.
14
00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:36,123
Okay? And I have to do that
every time they get my
order wrong at the Coffee Nut.
15
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:40,214
You know,they're lucky I don't
put a karate latte up their ass.
[Laughter]
16
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:43,521
Okay, yeah, well
I guess you're right.
17
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:44,957
Yeah, besides,
18
00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:46,263
what's the worst
that could happen?
19
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:47,351
you could lose your
business, self respect,
20
00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,571
and dignity, but who
needs any of that?
[Laughter]
21
00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:52,878
Oh, wow, that's quite
the reassuring voice
you have there, Viv.
22
00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:54,315
Thank you, thank you.
23
00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:56,012
Oh wait, did you bring
the uh, the salad?
24
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,449
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Uh-huh.
Sure did, I got it right here.
25
00:00:58,493 --> 00:00:59,798
- Ah.
- Ah-huh.
26
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:00,843
Wha- what is this?
27
00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:02,236
- It's salad.
- Really?
28
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:05,021
Because, you know, a salad
usually has, uh, what is
29
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,328
what is that green stuff
called? Uh, yeah, oh,
30
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:08,155
lettuce!
31
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:10,766
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, you
can keep your sarcasm, Lisa.
32
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:14,161
This is my family's world
famous potato salad, alright?
33
00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,337
Now you didn't specify what
kind of salad you wanted.
34
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,078
I thought you would
just bring normal salad.
35
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:21,298
I really, really did.
You know, I have to
bring something healthy.
36
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,213
Well Lisa, there's orange
slices in here,
37
00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:25,259
and that gives vitamin
C, it's very healthy.
38
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:26,695
If we just add some
lettuce to it on top-
39
00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:28,914
Oh God, please! No,
no, it will not be fine.
40
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:31,003
Please, let's just save
this "world famous"
41
00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:33,267
potato salad with vitamin
C in it for another time,
42
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,356
and we need to
chop up a fresh one.
43
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:38,141
Okay, but can I at least
add a special pizzazz to it?
44
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:40,230
Uh, yeah, yeah, that's fine,
45
00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:42,667
but let's keep it simple,
like croutons and dressing.
46
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,234
Okay, or, or, or raisins,
47
00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:46,497
jicama, kumquats, uh, apricots-
48
00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:49,500
Don't push it.
[Laughter]
49
00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:51,589
♪ Woke up and my wife said to me
50
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:54,026
♪ The bill collectors
want their fees
51
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:56,203
♪ The kids keep
talking back to me
52
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:58,074
♪ Family Time
53
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:02,557
♪ Family Time, Family Time,
Family Time
54
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:08,519
Hey Lisa, let's finish
watching the new
season of "Peculiar Things",
55
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:12,349
I gotta know what that crazy
little Number 13 is up to.
56
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:17,311
So much mac 'n cheese.
[Laughter]
57
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:20,052
- Lisa!
58
00:02:20,096 --> 00:02:21,489
Huh?
59
00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:22,968
I'm sorry, Tony, I don't
know what's wrong with me,
60
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,535
I'm exhausted.
61
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:27,234
Oh my God, I been
cookin' all day.
62
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:29,671
Yeah, I know. I can tell by
that huge mountain of
63
00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:33,196
potatoes that slid down
them pile of dirty
dishes you left in the sink.
64
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,893
I, I like bein' my own boss,
65
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:38,419
I really do, but man, this
is so much pressure.
66
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:41,422
Aw, does my little CEO
need a shoulder rub?
67
00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,119
Just I've never cooked for
this many people before.
68
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,556
I'm, I'm overwhelmed. I am.
69
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,602
Well, I have a solution.
70
00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:49,778
Why don't you cancel that job
and stay home and cook
for me tomorrow night?
71
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:51,432
Cook for you?
[Laughter]
72
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:53,216
Yeah, for me and this client
that I invited over for dinner.
73
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:56,263
Tony, why wouldn't you tell me
you invited people over earlier?
74
00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:57,568
'Cause I figured it
ain't no big deal.
75
00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:59,004
Cookin' ain't that hard, right?
[Laughter]
76
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:00,571
Excuse me?!
77
00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:03,531
I mean, because you do it
all the time, you used to it.
78
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:06,447
Yeah, just like you sit on
your behind all day and
79
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,013
don't tell me you
invited people over.
80
00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:09,972
Okay, okay, I deserve that.
81
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:12,235
Tony, come on, you
can't keep doing this.
82
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,368
My job is just as
important as yours.
83
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,544
Okay, okay, but, in my defense,
84
00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:18,807
I got this millionaire that
wants to invest in Stallworth
85
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,504
construction, so I
wanted to impress him
86
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,550
with a home cooked meal.
87
00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:24,595
I mean, maybe you could
at least just leave out
some of this potato salad.
88
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,598
I didn't do the
potato salad, Vivian did.
89
00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:28,817
Huh.
90
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:31,036
Is that why I just
bit into a craisin?
[Laughter]
91
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,213
You can, you can have as
much of that as you want.
92
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,257
I can't give him this!
93
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:35,824
His taste buds might explode.
94
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,434
Then I'd be on
trial for manslaughter.
95
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:40,481
Oh come on, it can't
be that bad, Tony.
[Laughter]
96
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,134
Eh, it's not that bad.
97
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,919
Once you get past the walnuts,
anchovies and the sauerkraut,
98
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,312
it's a delicacy.
[Laughter]
99
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:46,269
[Mumbling]
100
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:49,533
Did I just bite
into a kernel of corn?
101
00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:51,840
Check the toilet in a couple
of hours, then you'll know.
102
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,320
I'm not having it.
[Laughter]
103
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,801
Are you really not gonna
cook dinner tomorrow?
104
00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:59,282
Oh I'm cooking dinner.
For my client, not yours.
105
00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:00,414
That's cold, Lisa.
106
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,111
Oh God, ooh...
107
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:04,853
I gotta go to bed, my
stomach is cussing me out.
[Laughter]
108
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,333
Do like you tell Devin,
109
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,987
sit on the toilet
'til you boo-boo.
[Laughter]
110
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,337
[Lisa] Ooh!
111
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:17,561
[Low Humming Sound]
112
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:21,173
- You feel that?
- Hmm?
113
00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:24,176
Mm-mm.
114
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:27,136
[Instrumental Music]
115
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,273
[Lisa] Morning.
116
00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:36,276
[Tony] Morning, babe.
117
00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,887
How did I end upon
this side of the bed?
118
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,845
Why are my legs so hairy?
119
00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:44,414
Why are my legs so smooth?
120
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,460
[Both] Why do you look like me?
121
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:47,461
[Deep Gasp]
122
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:52,292
[Screaming]
123
00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,337
What the hell is going on?
124
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:56,208
What did you do, Tony?
125
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:57,862
Is this because I
wouldn't be a slave for
your little meeting later?
126
00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,429
I didn't do nothin' woman!
127
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,910
Or should I say man?
Or should I say me?
128
00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:03,346
Damn it, this is
all so confusing!
129
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,566
Okay, okay, okay, just
calm down, calm down.
130
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:06,915
Okay now maybe we just need to
131
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,482
relax and, and stay calm.
132
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:10,440
Calm down? Calm down?
133
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:11,920
How am I supposed to calm down
134
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:13,356
when I went to sleep as
Tarzan and woke us as Jane?!
135
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,053
You think I'm happy about this?
136
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:17,839
I got hair all over me,
I feel like a damn wolverine!
137
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,667
What is that smell?
Oh no, that is awful.
138
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:20,711
I, I'm gonna take a bath,
139
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,539
and all this hair's
gonna be gone, ASAP.
140
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,498
Don't you shave my
damn legs, Lisa!
[Laughter]
141
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,151
This is ridiculous, Tony.
142
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,152
What happened last night?
143
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,416
Well I was on my way
upstairs, got hungry,
144
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:31,156
found the potato
salad, tried it,
145
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,375
threw up in my
mouth a little bit,
146
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:35,335
gave you some and
then went to sleep.
147
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:37,467
[Both] The potato salad!
[Laughter]
148
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,469
You mean to tell me
Vivian's potato salad
149
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:42,385
is so bad that it has unwanted
supernatural side effects?!
150
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:45,736
Must've been the walnuts
clashing with the
damn artichoke hearts.
151
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,303
Wh-wh-what are we gonna do?
152
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,480
Uh, we're just gonna have
to deal with it for now.
153
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:51,916
How are we supposed to do that?
154
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,397
Well, my client Mr. Phillips
is coming over for dinner,
155
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:57,531
uh, and, and the
big game, so we're going
to have to entertain him.
156
00:05:57,574 --> 00:06:00,577
Oh yeah, the client that you
just told me about last night?
157
00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:01,970
- Don't you start with me, Lisa.
- Mm.
158
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,625
I'll turn this damn bob
cut into a Mohawk.
[Laughter]
159
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:07,541
Well that's fine. I always
wondered how you'd
look with pink fingernails.
160
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:09,456
Alright, alright, chill Lisa.
161
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:12,502
Don't you be disrespecting
my manhood right now.
[Laughter]
162
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:13,938
What, what do I
have to do for you?
163
00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:16,114
Well, I did most of
the cooking last night,
164
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:17,551
so you and Vivian will
have to do the rest
165
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:18,726
and then package it to go.
166
00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:21,468
- And cook for my client.
- Excuse me?
[Laughter]
167
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:24,122
I'm used to working
under pressure.
168
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,776
You, you, you know, you
just sit around and look
169
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,518
pretty and wash them
dishes and keep 'em clean!
[Laughter]
170
00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:29,650
Whatever, Tony.
171
00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:30,955
Just don't mess this up for me,
172
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:33,784
or this kitchen will be
closed to you permanently.
173
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:36,526
Well good. I don't
want it anyway.
174
00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,180
Or do I? Wait, what do I want?
175
00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:40,791
Lisa, wait!
[Knocking]
176
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:43,620
Hey mom, are we still gonna
go get Brazilian waxes later?
177
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:46,580
Oh, hell no. Lisa, come back!
[Laughter]
178
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,452
[Instrumental Music]
179
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:52,368
Hey, thanks again for the
invite, Mr. Stallworth.
180
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,544
No problem at all, call me Lisa.
[Laughter]
181
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:55,893
- Lisa?
- Hmm?
182
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,504
Ain't that your wife name?
183
00:06:57,547 --> 00:07:01,725
Mm-hmm. That is my wife's name.
[Chuckling]
184
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:05,468
I just, sometimes, when
man and wife become one,
185
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:08,471
they take on each
others nicknames.
186
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,821
So, uh, if it makes it easier
for you, just call me Tony.
187
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:13,694
Right, okay Tony, cool. So,
188
00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:15,347
how's your portfolio, okay?
189
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:17,567
Huh? Hows the
S&P treatin' you, good?
190
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:19,917
Mm, I tried to
lay off the salt lately,
191
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:22,354
but uh, love me some pepper.
[Chuckles]
192
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:25,140
- I quit it.
- You have an interesting
sense of humor, man.
193
00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:26,576
So, we're here to
see the game, right?
194
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:27,795
It's about game time.
195
00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:31,363
Oh, sure. Let me
turn it on for you.
196
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:34,323
Mm-hmm.
197
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:37,239
You wouldn't happen to know
what channel it's on, would you?
[Laughter]
198
00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:39,371
You know, actually I wouldn't.
199
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:41,243
I mean this is your house,
so, you're supposed to know
where the channels are.
200
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:42,984
[Chuckles] True.
201
00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:45,639
I get it man, I just
cut the cable myself
202
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,467
tryin' to find these
new channels is crazy.
203
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,294
Keep flippin', we'll find it.
204
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:51,601
So, what do you think about
the blockbuster trade
205
00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:52,646
went down last week?
206
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:55,823
Didn't Blockbuster go out
of business years ago?
207
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,565
I hope so, I still got
videos and late fees!
208
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,784
[Both Laughing]
209
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,526
- You are very funny, man.
- I try.
[Knocking]
210
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:06,573
Finally, excuse me.
211
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:11,795
- Ah, Donnie.
- Hey, what's up, Tone?
212
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:15,625
Hey uh, what's up with
Poetic Justice over here?
[Laughter]
213
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,540
Oh uh, this is Sean Phillips,
214
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,063
he's gonna be watchin'
the game with us today.
215
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,674
- Mm.
- How you doin', I'm Sean.
216
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,589
Hey, nice to meet you, man.
217
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,460
Another mouth to feed, huh?
[Laughter]
218
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,200
Let me talk to you.
219
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,418
Hey man, what's going on with
220
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:29,421
in the Montel Jordan over
here, this is how we do it?
221
00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:32,424
Hush Donnie, listen, I'm Lisa.
222
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:33,991
[Laughs]
What are,
223
00:08:34,035 --> 00:08:36,211
are you tryin' to ruin my
visual of your wife, man?
224
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,995
What do you mean you Lisa?
[Laughter]
225
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:41,564
Tony and I had some of
Vivian's potato salad last night
226
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,566
and it was so bad that we
literally switched bodies.
227
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:47,004
So, I'm in his body,
he's in my body, I'm Lisa.
228
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:48,310
[Laughter]
229
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:50,268
Do you realize how
ridiculous this sounds, man?
230
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:53,010
You can't be Lisa,
because you are Tony.
231
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,621
You're Tony, she's Lisa.
232
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:57,362
Okay look, trust me, I'm Lisa.
233
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,234
[Sighs] Okay, okay,
234
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,541
if you're Lisa,
235
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:04,718
how do I know it?
Prove that you're Lisa.
[Laughter]
236
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:08,156
Last barbecue, you and
Lori had one too many drinks,
237
00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:09,766
[Clears throat Loudly]
238
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,028
Okay, that's quite enough.
239
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:13,509
It'd been better if you'da
just said the real
240
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,598
name of me and your love
child, but listen man,
241
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:16,686
if that's the case,
242
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,122
how can I even help?
What can I do?
243
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,602
Okay, Sean is here
to watch the game, but
244
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:21,256
I don't know anything
about basketball.
245
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,084
You have to help us.
246
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:25,477
I don't want to blow
this for Tony, he's a
huge client. Help me.
247
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,479
Okay, I got you.
248
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:28,480
[Softly] Lisa.
249
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:31,745
Hey, fellas I found the game!
250
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:34,922
So Donnie are you
tied up in the S&P as well?
251
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:37,489
Yeah, I'm tired of bein'
single and patient.
252
00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:40,057
[Laughter]
253
00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:42,190
So, then she told me
he didn't even get her
254
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,366
flowers for Valentine's day.
How could you not give
255
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:46,847
flowers for Valentine's Day?
Who does that?
256
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,283
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Phone Vibrates]
257
00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:50,938
Oh, this is her right
now, I'll be right back.
258
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:53,070
Yeah, yeah.
259
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,724
Hey Lisa, is everything
almost ready?
260
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:55,638
I've got a function to get to.
261
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:56,987
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
262
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:58,946
Oh... this.
263
00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:01,209
What are you doing? I thought we
cooked all the food last night.
264
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,819
We did?
[Laughter]
265
00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:04,734
Right, right, yeah, yeah,
right, right, right,
266
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:06,388
we, we did, uh, uh,
267
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:09,870
but you know, Tony asked
me to cook dinner for
him and Mr. Phillips as well.
268
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:13,874
Oh wow, you volunteered
to cook for them even
with this huge job today?
269
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:16,311
Well, I, I know I'm busy, but
270
00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:18,095
you know, that's what you do
for people you love, right?
271
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:20,358
Well, yeah, but if
Tony really loved you,
272
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,796
he'd understand that
now is a terrible time
273
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,319
to be cooking a
whole separate dinner
274
00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:27,409
just for him and
some stupid friends.
[Laughter]
275
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:30,325
Vivian.
276
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:32,327
I am Tony!
[Laughter]
277
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:35,635
Girl, quit playin'.
278
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:38,638
Your husband got hit for medical
fraud, and he's been hiding out
in the Philippines ever since.
279
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,944
[Laughter]
280
00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:43,860
I thought your breath
smelled different.
[Laughter]
281
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,863
- Tod, they're onto us.
- Mm-hmm.
282
00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:50,040
Ooh, it smells
good in there, man.
283
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,390
I sure hope it's ready soon.
284
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,741
Oh yeah, Lisa in
there doin' her thang.
285
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:58,179
[Chuckles]
Or should I say Tony?
286
00:10:58,222 --> 00:11:00,572
Hey dad, can I
ask you something?
287
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,226
Baby I told you,
288
00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:05,142
if your stomach hurts, sit on
the toilet until you go boo-boo.
289
00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:06,927
Baby? Last time I heard that,
290
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:10,626
you punched me in my leg and
said, "shut up, you big baby."
291
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,933
Hush boy. This,
this is Mr. Phillips.
292
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:14,804
- Nice to meet you.
- How you doin'?
293
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:17,589
I'm Devin. You two
might be able to help
me with this problem, too.
294
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,287
It's about a girl.
295
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,942
Hey man, my advice,
296
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:26,773
just go to the clinic
and use a fake name.
[Laughter]
297
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:31,473
Let me tell you something
man, women, I know a lot
about 'em. Is she cute?
298
00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:34,955
Yeah, she's bad. I been feelin'
her for a cool minute now, but
299
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,260
she's sending mixed signals.
300
00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:39,176
You just have to understand
the way women work.
301
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,961
Okay? They are-
302
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:43,528
[Donnie] Cray-zee.
[Laughter]
303
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:45,487
One minute, they
say they love you,
304
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:46,749
and then the next minute they
305
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,708
trippin' 'cause you asked them
306
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:53,016
to borrow they car and
not fill it up with gas.
[Laughter]
307
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:56,193
I don't know about
his issues, but let me
tell you something man,
308
00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:57,978
women are, you know,
309
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,632
kind of like attractin' 'em
is almost like fishing.
310
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:03,200
Exactly, you throw some
good bait out there,
311
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:06,203
end up with a whole lot of bass.
[Laughter]
312
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,771
Men are such pigs.
[Laughter]
313
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:11,643
See my choice of bait is
the finer things in life.
314
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:13,645
'Cause I know women
like they be wined,
315
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:16,648
dined, and you just shower
them with gifts and, bam.
316
00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:17,911
[Laughter]
317
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,869
So, I'm supposed to just
318
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,219
break the bank on her and I'll
have her in the bag?
319
00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:24,787
Listen, women are not
that complicated, okay?
320
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:28,225
We just like, wom- wom-
women, are like,
321
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,488
beautiful butterflies.
322
00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:33,361
Fluttering their wings, looking
for a safe utopia to land.
323
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:34,928
If you understand their feelings
324
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:37,321
the right woman will come along.
325
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:41,543
Or you just have a lot of
money, let them butterflies
just flutter right to you.
326
00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:44,546
Utopia style.
[Laughter]
327
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,246
You're Tony?
328
00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:50,552
How did that happen?
329
00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:52,597
It was your damn potato salad!
330
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,861
Lisa and I ate it,
331
00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:57,124
and we switched bodies!
I don't know what kind of voodoo
you put in that thang, woman!
332
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,821
Wow, it's that bad, huh?
333
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:00,344
Yeah!
334
00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,912
Who the hells puts pork 'n
beans in their potato salad?
335
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:06,829
Well, my ancestors were
colonizers, Tony!
[Laughter]
336
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:10,746
You know, it's a family
recipe, I'm sorry!
337
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,269
So now what?
338
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:14,750
Now we gotta ace
this catering gig
339
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,273
- so we can secure this job.
- Okay.
340
00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:19,059
That's what I need your
help with, that's what I
need your help with.
341
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:22,062
Okay, look, look Tony, we
can ace this catering job, but
342
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:23,977
we seriously don't
have time to make a
343
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,980
extra dinner for your client
too, it's just not possible.
344
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:29,939
Fine, fine, I guess I'll
figure that out myself.
345
00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,723
Thanks for nothin'.
[Laughter]
346
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:34,901
Hey mom, can you still take
me bra shopping this weekend?
347
00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:36,511
I have a better idea.
348
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:40,123
Why don't you just wear
a bra everyday until
you're 30. A sports bra.
349
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,996
Or, I won't wear one at all.
[Laughter]
350
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:45,781
Hey!
[Laughter]
351
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,002
[Lisa
Tony] Hm. Smells horrible.
352
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:52,179
Smells like Rachel's
wig after a jog.
353
00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,398
- Hey, y'all.
- Hey ladies.
354
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:57,401
Well if it ain't Rocky
Mouth and Bullwinkle.
['Laughter]
355
00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:59,969
- Dang Lisa, good
to see you, too.
- Mm-hmm.
356
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:04,582
Yeah Lisa, we don't have
to take this from your
dumpy husband and you.
357
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:08,935
I canceled a hot date to
come help with your "big gig".
358
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:13,113
Relax Tony, don't blow
your cover, we need
their help tonight.
359
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,637
Sorry guys, I'm a little tired
from all this cooking.
360
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:16,638
Mm-hmm.
361
00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:18,901
Oh, mashed potatoes are done.
362
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,861
Lisa, you're still cooking?
I thought it was time for
us to start heading out.
363
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:24,559
It is, but i gotta cook
for my family, too.
364
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:26,169
Sounds like you
doin' the most to me.
365
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:28,084
- Well that's what I told her.
- Hmm.
366
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:31,218
Don't worry, I got
this y'all, got this.
367
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:34,003
Oh, Lisa, I don't
think that's edible.
368
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:34,917
[Laughter]
369
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:38,921
This entree though,
nice oven roasted
370
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:42,490
plump, juicy...
[All Coughing]
371
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,622
...turkey!
[Coughing]
372
00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:45,928
Chicken, whatever it is.
373
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:49,889
Lisa, what're you
cookin', Flava Flav?
[Laughter]
374
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:52,369
Lisa, what're you doing?
You can't take food
from the catering!
375
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:53,805
- Yes, Lisa!
- Forget this!
376
00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:55,285
No, no, no!
377
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:56,939
You can't take that food.
378
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,680
Greedy! That's for
the hungry people.
379
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,203
Forget them!
380
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:02,510
You take it, and then they
won't have anything to eat.
381
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:04,294
Well, maybe they should
get their own food,
382
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:07,254
them dang old freeloaders!
[All Gasp]
383
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,473
Lisa.
384
00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:11,911
Even I'm disappointed in you.
385
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:14,739
Yeah, I mean it's not every
day you get to give
back to the community
386
00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:17,090
by feeding the homeless.
387
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,700
Homeless?
388
00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:21,529
Tony can I talk to,
uh, beh, Lisa, can I talk
to you for a second?
389
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:24,706
Oh, if it isn't Classless Clay.
390
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,882
- Oh hey Rachel,
thanks for coming.
- Oh.
391
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,277
I, I mean, uh, uh, uh,
shut up, you big-ass crow.
392
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,888
Uh-uh, don't you talk to
my little sister like that.
393
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,196
- Ya big ol' jellyfish head.
- Yeah.
394
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:37,023
Listen here squidbillies,
395
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,285
why don't y'all get the
hell up out of my house
396
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:41,114
and go set up at the uh,
homeless shelter.
[laughter]
397
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:42,724
- Here, help me get
this to the car.
- Bye.
398
00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,160
- Come on, come on ladies.
- Alright.
399
00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:47,163
Grab what you can.
400
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:50,558
Ooh, let me help.
401
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,039
- Good save, good save.
- I learned from the best.
402
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:54,997
[Both Chuckling]
403
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:57,521
Hey, why didn't you tell me you
were cooking for the homeless?
404
00:15:57,565 --> 00:15:59,306
Well, our services
are a donation
405
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:01,699
Tony, and I didn't want you to
get upset about the money.
406
00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:03,005
Care about the money?
407
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:05,181
I think you cooking for
the homeless is amazing.
408
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:06,791
- And I respect what you doin'.
- Awww.
409
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,750
Mm-mm!
410
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,404
Uh-oh.
411
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,101
Something's happening
I've never felt before.
[Laughter]
412
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:15,104
Yeah, I remember the first time
that happened to me, too.
413
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:17,019
[Laughter]
414
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:20,022
Cooking for Mr. Phillips
didn't, didn't work.
415
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,068
Clearly.
416
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:24,244
You wanna go tell him we're
getting Goober Eats before
he gets too hangry?
417
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:25,985
Hmm.
418
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,856
[Donnie] Man, I'm about to
whup your ass sideways!
[Laughter]
419
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:32,817
[Lisa/Tony] What is the problem?
420
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:37,039
Hey, you need to talk
to your boy black Lex
Luthor over here, alright?
421
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:40,260
He came in here
talking reckless, like
straight disrespectful.
422
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:43,785
All I'm sayin' is Too
Fat Shakur, you about
to get some of this juice.
423
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:44,786
[Laughter]
424
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:46,831
Donnie, what the
hell is going on?
425
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:50,183
You mess up my money,
I'mma knock you out myself.
[Lisa/Tony Chuckling]
426
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,140
Honey, I got this.
427
00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:53,490
Uh, can someone please
tell me what's going on?
428
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:55,231
Yeah, I'll tell you
what's going on, okay?
429
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:56,754
So I'm watching the game,
430
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:59,148
and I see Lyle Luzma hit the
game buzzer beater, right?
431
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,802
And then all of a sudden I hear-
432
00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:02,978
To hell with the Lakers
man, I'm a Clipper fan.
433
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,588
[Gasps]
[Laughter]
434
00:17:04,632 --> 00:17:08,288
Well done Donnie,
never heard such
blasphemy in this household.
435
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:10,768
Oh, oh, okay, let's
be sensible now.
436
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:12,074
I mean think about it,
[Chuckles]
437
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:15,382
do any of us really have any
connection to these teams?
438
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:18,950
Uh, does being part owner of the
Clippers count as a connection?
439
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:22,128
- You're part owner
of the Clippers?
- That's right.
440
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,391
Meaning you, you get to
go to all of the games
441
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:27,263
- uh, and especially when
they play the Lakers?
- Mm-hmm.
442
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:30,179
Every. Last. One.
[Laughter]
443
00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:32,268
Well, first brother,
this ain't even me,
444
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:33,226
I'm not even this
kind of guy, man.
445
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:36,272
I want to apologize for trying
to catch your face, okay?
446
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:39,971
I, I, I don't, I don't think
the Clippers are that bad.
447
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:42,191
Well I don't think
the Lakers are, either.
448
00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:45,281
Especially when they
not playin' the Clippers.
449
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,066
Accept your apology.
450
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,589
Well I for one would
love to work with you on
451
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:51,418
some Clipper related
construction projects.
452
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,246
I, I mean, my husband,
my husband would.
453
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:56,118
You know that's actually what I
came to talk to you about,Tony.
454
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:58,860
- Mm.
- Yeah. We need a company
that can put up a new
455
00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:01,863
improved locker room in
the Clipper's practice facility.
456
00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:03,865
Think you're down for the job?
457
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:07,216
Sure. As long as my wife gets to
458
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:10,219
cater some of the
post-game practices?
459
00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:13,135
Well, I've been smellin'
her food all day,
460
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:16,312
even though I didn't get
a chance to taste any, I
mean I did think I was gonna
461
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:18,097
get a nice home cooked dinner.
462
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:21,448
Hah, yeah, I've been thinkin'
about Lisa's yams all day.
463
00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:23,885
- Well, Lisa has been
tied up all day-
- Let's go, Lisa,
464
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:25,408
we don't want to be late
to the homeless shelter.
465
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,149
Homeless shelter, you say?
466
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,412
Yeah we uh, donated
our catering services
467
00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:32,850
to the West Side Homeless
Shelter, and tonight we're
feeding 300 people.
468
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:35,940
That's why I wasn't able to cook
for you tonight, I apologize.
469
00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:38,247
Oh, no apology needed, okay?
470
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:39,596
Homeless shelter.
471
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,295
I believe in payin' it
forward, so let, allow me to
472
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:44,079
take care of the expenses
for tonight's dinner.
473
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,081
That would be amazing!
474
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,604
[Both Squealing]
475
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:50,390
Well, we should get going
to the homeless shelter,
476
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:51,608
we don't want the
food to get cold.
477
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:55,743
Yeah, i am determined to
get some of Lisa's yams tonight!
[laughter]
478
00:18:55,786 --> 00:18:57,266
Great, hey boys, you want
to help me in the kitchen?
479
00:18:57,310 --> 00:19:00,617
We'll get started.
Alright, here we do.
480
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:03,533
[Laughter]
[Tony/Lisa Chuckles]
481
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:08,103
[Low Humming]
482
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:11,280
And that is why I am
thankful for my wife
483
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:14,196
and I will never eat Vivian's
potato salad ever again.
484
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,330
So it was all fake?
None of it was real?
485
00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:18,896
It was sort of real.
486
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,725
- It's a metaphor, boy.
- Well actually,
it's an allegory.
487
00:19:21,769 --> 00:19:24,728
I thought you got a shot
to get rid of your allergy.
[Laughter]
488
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,904
An alle-gory, Devin.
489
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:30,212
Okay? It's a story with a,
a message behind it.
490
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:33,781
oh, so you made us sit through
that crazy story for 20 minutes
491
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,739
and it was all
just a fairy tale?
[Laughter]
492
00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:37,480
Now Ebony, the
important thing is the
493
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,178
story is about empathy.
494
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,570
We have to put ourselves
and other people's
495
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:43,530
shoes in order to
understand and appreciate
each other better.
496
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:45,184
I guess you're right, mom.
497
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,924
What do you appreciate
about us, dad?
498
00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:48,317
I appreciate the
fact that you kids
499
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:50,667
will be cleaning up and
washing these dishes
as soon as dinner's over.
500
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:53,627
It's over. Get to it.
[Laughter]
501
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:55,933
[Instrumental Music]
502
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:58,327
[Ebony] So, what do you think
about dad's crazy story?
503
00:19:58,371 --> 00:19:59,894
To be honest, I
think he's capping it,
504
00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:02,288
and it was all a ploy for us to
help out more around the house.
505
00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:03,724
You know what,
I think you're right.
506
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:06,466
Aunt Vivian's potato salad, it
probably wasn't even that bad.
507
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:09,164
Let's try it.
508
00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:15,953
Thank you.
509
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:20,262
Mm! Okay, he was right about
that! Mm-mm, mm-mm.
510
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:23,265
I don't know who's idea it
was to put licorice in there.
[Laughter]
511
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:27,182
[Low Humming]
Wait a minute...
512
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,923
Why do I feel weird?
513
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:31,230
And what happened to my voice?
514
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,406
Why, why am I so tall?
515
00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:35,973
I think we switched bodies,
like in dad's story.
516
00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:38,585
What are, what are these
weird pains in my belly?
517
00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:41,370
Oh, those are cramps Devin,
I get them all the time.
518
00:20:41,414 --> 00:20:44,025
What?! I can't deal with this!
519
00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:47,028
Mommy!
[Laughter]
520
00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:51,424
[Laughter]
41179
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