All language subtitles for Family.Time.S08E06.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

[Instrumental Music]

That's why you can't trust no
man in no thong sandals.

Mm mmm. Mm mmm, watch out.

Watch out!

- Lisa. Lisa
- Brother, watch out!

- Lisa!
- Awww.

- God dang it, woman.
- [Screams]

I almost broke my foot. Tell me,
what the hell are you watchin'?

Probably get away with killing
your husband.

I'm sorry! I was watchin' this
show,

and then you came up on me. You
got them thong sandals on.

It is Sunday. You know I air my
feet out on Sundays.

Well yeah, I know and I've tried
to open the windows and

then the neighbors started
rioting.

- [Audience laughter]
- Whatever.

Sit down, baby. I'm sorry.

Well what, what the hell are you
watchin' anyway?

Law and Order Crime Scene
Investigations: Special

Victims Honolulu Unit.

That show is still on?

I thought them actors would be
dead by now.

Oh no, they're on season 49.

So, what's in the box?

- Mm, check it out.
- Okay.

Oh baby, come on. I thought you
learned your lesson from sellin'
bootleg

Lakers jersey when you ran out
of room on the back

of Kareem Abdul-Jabar's name.

No, that's when I found out just
how dumb Donnie was.

He thought that the players'
first names

were supposed to go on the front
of the jersey.

Like how are you gonna sell Los
Angeles Laker Kareem jerseys?

That, it don't make no sense.
- What is wrong with that boy.

These are the real deal.

- You are lookin' at the new
owner of the Lake Show.
- Oh.

- The Lake Show?
- Mm hm.

How you get in with the Lakers,
Tony?

You got a big new job or
somethin'? You win the lotto
again?

You got a dead spouse somewhere
you ain't tellin' me about.

Okay, no more Honolulu Special
Crime Scene Unit for you, okay?

Now this, alright...is the real

deal here, alright. I am the
proud owner

of the little Lake Show.

Oah, that is so cute!

No, cute is me leavin' out
kibbles n' bits and a hot comb
ready for your

sisters to come over. Thisis me
being the owner

of a youth rec league team.

I'm a team owner. This is a game
changer.

How so?

Well, aside from the tax
write-offs and advertisement

on the jerseys, I could discover
the next

Kobe Bryant! And then on draft
night

he drops on a Zion
Williamson-sized tear and thanks
me personally.

Hm. Are you sure this isn't
about relivin' your

glory days playin' ball with the
Oakbridge Penguins, Tony?

Maybe a little bit.

But it ain't nothin' like havin'
a coach mentorin' you.

Damn, I miss hangin' with Mr.
Cooper.

[Theme Music]

♪ Woke up and my wife said
to me

♪ The bill collectors want
their fees

♪ The kids keep talkin' back
to me

♪ Family Time

♪ Family Time, Family Time,
Family Time

♪ Woa oah oah oh yeah yeah yeh

Mmm.

Oh my goodness!

- All the flavors are becoming
one.
- Yes!

[Giggling]

So what do you think, Cheryl?
Can Anglo-Soul catering have
your business?

[In unison]
Anglo-Soul?

What happened to Soul Sisters?

Well, I didn't want to seem like
I was appropriating

Black culture.

It's a burden being woke.

The struggle, right?

Anglo-Soul catering.

Eh, just sounds like you're
servin' hate

on a plate, you know.

Sides of mashed prejudice and
hot water corn brutality.

[Audience laughter]

We're Soul Sisters, okay?!

Don't you worry, Viv. You are
just

8 shades and kinky curl away
from being

Rachel Dolezal

- Oh.
- [Doorbell rings]
- Ah, I'll get the door.

[Humming]

Ah

Ah, well good afternoon you two.

What's so damn good about it?

[Door creaks]

She in her feelin's cause she's
scared to retake the bar exam.

Come on, Lori. You'll pass this
time.

Yeah, this time is different.
Now you're

sober...ish.

That's definitely an
improvement.

[Audience laughter]

[Garbled speech]
That's right...every single time
the traditional way,

and every single time I fail.

I knew I should've paid that guy
to take the test for me.

I'm just not the bookworm type.

I learn by doing.

Yeah, learnin' by doin' is how
she became the fastest

girl in school.

And I ain't talkin' about track.

She ain't run track.

- Oh I know you ain't talkin'

when you only joined the swim
team to practice the breast
stroke

and I ain't talkin' bout
swimmin'!

Michael Feel-ups.

- Oh.
- Ooh.

Well that sounds like I was just
smart, okay. Cause that was a

way I'd get around all those
girls in those skimpy outfits

and they had no idea I was...
- Tell me more about it.

lookin' at 'em.

- They was so sexy.
- Why don't you hold a mock
trial here?

Huh? What do you mean? How do I
do that?

- Oh, how about a real estate
broker

selling homes, violating safety
codes?

What, what? Eh it it's hard to
tell a pool from a sink hole at
night.

[Audience laughter]

Yeah, you know what? That's
perfect.

We'll use Viv's idea for the
trial

- Oh wait, I'll be the
prosecutor.
- Oh.

I dated one once.

I picked up a thing or two.

Ooh, and I can be a sexy
bailiff.

And how's that supposed to help?

Okay, listen. Come on, Lori. I
know you failed

1, 2, 3, 9 times! But who's
counting, really? I'm not.

[Inhales] Listen, this is the
rematch.

And you will win, you hear me?

Okay, little sis.

Listenin' to you, I feel like I
can take on the

whole damn world.

- You can.
- Or at least this whole bottle
of wine ...

- Okay...come on, girl...
- ...right now.

You are only 30 days away from
gettin' the 30-day chip, stop.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

How we feelin' today? We ready
to win a game?

- Good job. Hey, hey!
- How's it goin'?

- Good.
- Ah Anthony Stallworth,

Little Baller League scoring
champion, '95, '96.

- Wow.
-Yeah, 10 points a game. I know.
I know.

Nice to meet you.

Ah listen, I'm looking for the
coach of the Little Lake Show

- ...a coach Hoight.
- That's me. That's me.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr.
Stallworth.

You must be the mascot.

The the peacock outfit is in the
closet. It's behind

the other suit. And there's a
headdress that goes with it,

and there's some really nice
green shoes.

You're the left, right?

Amusing, amusing. No, I am the
team owner.

- Team owner? Wow, wow.
- Yeah.

- Team owner. [Chuckles]
- Mm hm.

Well, can you give me a few
minutes? I need to give the kids
a little pep talk.

Sure, get 'em fired up. Ready to
win, coach.

- Okay. Alright...
- Let's do it.

you might look good in the
peacock outfit too.

- Knock it off.
- Yes, sir. Okay, sorry.

Alright, guys. Here we go.
Remember...everybody,

we're here for fun, alright.

If we happen to win a game, hey!

So much the better, okay.

So, let's have a great time

and remember, come
together...okay?

Let's go out and let's build our
self-esteem.

Let's say self-esteem on 3,
ready? 1, 2, 3

[Collectively]
Self-esteem!

Pat yourself on the back cause
if you don't

pat yourself on the back in this
life,

nobody's going to.

Come on, come on.

Hey hey, ponytail!

Put your hands up!

Kawhi Leonard's laugh played
better D!

Nice, Kaleb. Nice, Kaleb.

Those orthopedic shoes are
really keeping you upright!

It's Kaleb? Kaleb, Kaleb!

Damn that, slide your feet!

Man, stop gallopin'. This ain't
no rodeo.

Good hustle, Ryan.

Your balance has improved
tremendously.

[Moans]

What kinda shootin' are you
doin'?

I've seen bartenders put up
better shots than that!

Don't worry, Mishak! I want you
to consider an air-ball

like a made basket, just a
little bit off.

Tseh! Coach, coach...

don't you think you should
actually be coaching?

You know I'm I'm all for a
little positive

affirmation when they actually
do somethin' positive.

I believe that if you give a kid
negative energy,

you're gonna get negative game
play.

3 minutes into the game and
we're down 20.

It doesn't get any more negative
than that.

[Audience laughter]

Okay, a I think I understand
what you're sayin'.

Time out! Time out!

Hope on the bench. Come on,
everybody.

Listen,

great job out there.

Okay, you are playing with

such...

bravery, such courage, such
power that

you have scored a point in my
heart.

[Beating chest]
You have scored a point in my
heart.

Really, really, okay?

So I want you to forget, pretend
the score isn't

zero to 20. It's zero, zero.

And we're startin' over again,
baby.

Okay? So go out there and take
it to 'em!

Go get 'em!

[Exhales]

Coach, d'oh real quick..

- Yeah.
- Another, hey...

Um, I need you to do me a favor.

- Huh.
- Could you go outside and find
you a

gravel pit, and kick rocks!

Fuh...oh, what do you mean?

I am not sponsorin' a team full
of losers. You're fired!

Well, weh weh weh, you can't
fire me.

Uh, I'm a volunteer!

I'll give you $100 to kick
rocks.

Wow, $100?

Wow.

I guess I'm goin' to the casino.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

All rise for the honorable
Slim-thick judge,

Lisa Stallworth.

Doom doom, chicka chicka. Doom
doom, chicka chicka.

- Duh, doom, doom.
- Ow, okay.

Doo doo, chicka chicka. Doo doo,
chicka chicka. Doo doo,

[Audience laughter]

[Banging gavel]
- Oh, now hook it up.

[Rhythm banging]
- Uh!...uh oh, ooh!

Hey, hey.

Alright, court is now in
session!

Okay, we just be playin'.

It is in session.

- [Exhales]
- This is the case of...

Slumlord Sally

[Audience laughter]

Okay prosecutor, please present
your opening statements.

Thank you, your honor.

I'm a person of the people.

And so I can tell you that the
people

don't like to be hustled.

The defendant is a swamp dealer

and a slumlord who knowingly
sold my client a mud hole.

resulting in her being admitted
to

the ICU due to the effects of
hazardous living conditions.

- Damn heifer, you cold.

[Audience laughter]

Asbestos in the attic...lead
pipes and lead paint!

They poisoned my client sending
her into

crippling medical debt.

The prosecution rests.

Oh, Cheryl is good.

- Here I thought she was like
this ditsy, Oriental--
- Okay, wait!

Okay Rachel, nobody asked for
the play by play.

They really didn't okay. Just
zip it.

Thank you. Concerning Calloway,
please present your opening
statements.

Tell them I showed compassion. I
gave her a gas mask.

Shhh.

Your honor, it's clear that my
client is innocent.

- [Scoffs]
- She's a pillar of the
community.

- And a damn good cook.
- Mm hm.

Not to mention, her real estate
record speaks

for itself. Exhibit one, please.

- Ooh, exhibit two.

Her wrap sheet, also speaks for
itself.

Damn, her wrap sheet is longer
than Crenshaw Boulevard.

[Audience laughter]

And Cheryl is killing it.

Yes, girl...yes.

Your honor, could you please
control your bailiff,

Miss Disgrace Jones, over here.

I had enough out of you,
Oblivious Pope.

- You know what?
- We can go!

- I wanna be classy, here.
- What's up?

- You always wanna put your part
into somebody.
- Order in the court!

- Oh, impossible.
- Order in the court!!!

I do not wanna have to hold you
two in contempt of the court.

[In unison]
Sorry your honor, Slim-thick.

Please, proceed.

Your honor, my client is
protected

under penal code YZ400,

Fo-hundred!

which protects her because she
was open and honest

about the condition and history
of the property.

I mean the plaintiff had
numerous opportunities to

conduct her own investigation of
the lot and failed to do so.

- Weh a well, I [clears throat]
actually.
- Not!...

to mention, she is also
exonerated

under the zoning code,

which stipulates that the
plaintiff signed a waiver

releasing my client of any and
all legal

responsibility

that resulted after her
residency there.

Oh, okay. Will the prosecution
like to respond?

I would, yes.

Ummm...

just have something here, just..

one second.

Hey, where were you when I was
actually on trial?

[Screams] I'm jammin', y'all!

Aaah!

[Instrumental Music]

Two draft picks? Deal.

Yep, tell those parents

to pack up and dress warm
because it gets cold in
Lancaster.

Alright, see ya later.

Hey Tone, a

you hostin' refugees at work?

Oh no, that's my new star
player, Saleem.

Did he eat the other refugees on
his way up here?

[Audience laughter]

Nah, he's just a big kid.

You mean big-ass adult, man. He
27.

[Audience laughter]

Ain't that right, man?

12 [Chuckles] Pass the ball.

Open [Laughs]

Excuse me?

I am open.

Pass.

[Audience laughter]

A I think Saleem is broken, man.

What is he doin' here anyway? I
thought you was just a team
sponsor.

I am more than a sponsor,
Donnie.

I am the heart and soul of this
organization.

[Laughs] Don't you think you're
lettin' this go to your head a
little bit, man?

I saw the kids outside runnin'
laps with cinder blocks.

Since when are you the child
labor law investigator?

[Audience laughter]

You are absolutely right. What
did you call me down here for?

I called you over here to offer
you the opportunity of a
lifetime.

How would you like to be the
assistant coach of the Little
Lake Show?

Ah, how would the head coach
feel about me bein' the
assistant coach?

I feel just fine. That's why I
offered you the job.

But I thought you were the team
sponsor, not the head coach.

Ah...team owner.

And as the owner, I had to fire
the coach

because he wasn't takin' the
team in the right direction.

So, you in?

I accept.

Good, have a seat.

[Feet shuffling]

Mr. Stallworth, sir.

Daniel Freely, right?

Averaging 6 points. Hm, what you
want?

[Audience laughter]
We've been running laps for
hours.

Can't we please take a water
break?

Water break? They don't even
have water where he's from.

Listen, your body is made up of

70% water.

Use up all of that, and then
maybe I'll let you drink out of
the water hose.

Now scram!

Damn, Tone.

Yeah, can you believe that?
Averaging 6 points and having
the nerve

to ask for a water break.

Nah, I just meant he looks like
he grows up to be him.

But I just meant you're kinda
bein' harsh, ain't ya?

Listen, the last coach was too
soft.

I gotta rewire this team. Ain't
that right, Saleem?

Pass ball.

Open.

[Instrumental Music]

Your honor, we have examined,

and cross-examined,

and there is no doubt that my
client is innocent.

And these allegations

deserve to be buried

alongside the prosecutor

and her trashy blouse.

- Oh.
- Oh.

Wow.

Wow Lori. I mean a Miss-- Miss
Calloway,

that was a very compelling
closing statement.

Now if the prosecution has
nothing

- ...further to add, this case--
- Oh! Wait.

I do have a surprise witness.

[Collective gasp]

Surprise witness? Girl, who'd
you invite over to my house?

- Oh, um...your honor,

may I have a quick sidebar with
my attorney?

- Mm hm.
- Granted.

Who is this? What's goin' on?

Well, remember when I went to
prison for that whole insider
trading thing?

Well that man worked for the
company that I was

trading against.

- Oh my gosh, why didn't you
tell me he was coming, Vivian?
- I...

didn't know.

This is John.

His very intriguing story shines
light on what kind of a woman

Vivian really is.

Well yeah, I'll be the judge of
that.

Okay.

Please stand and state your
name.

Ah Spritz, John Spritz.

Put your hand on the Get
magazine.

Do you swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth, and nothin' but
the truth

so swear on the Get beauty of
the week?

I do.

Soo woop!

- Please proceed Miss--
- I object!

Your honor, it's obvious this
man was paid to be here.

- I was not.
- Can I pay you to leave?

Objection overruled.

[Cheryl] Tell your story.

Vivian sold me a house.

And while she was working for
me, she eavesdropped

on a conversation between my
boss and I.

And after she got the
information she needed,

she illegally traded my
company's stock.

My boss fired me for being a
mole.

I lost my house. I lost my wife.

My libido.

- Oh.
- Mmm.

- [Rachel] Mmm.
- There, there, you

poor man, very brave.

Miss Calloway, will the defense
like to respond?

I double object!

Your honor, eh

the prosecutor never supplied me
with the

character witness list.

You know what? Not being
prepared is not an excuse, your
honor.

- She's unprepared.
- Well he's a surprise!

How am I supposed to prepare for
a surprise?

- Lori--
- He wasn't in the textbook!

Lori I'm sorry, I have to side

- with Cheryl on this one. I'm
sorry.
- But it's not fair!

The judgment goes to the
plaintiff.

[Screams] I won. I won!

Yeah!

- [Rachel] Ooh damn, sorry Viv.

I hope you didn't throw your
shank away.

Ooh, I ain't goin' back!

Bye.

Uah! Yes!

- I mean, that was good.
- I'm done.

Lori, sorry.

[Instrumental Music]

Alright, alright, alright.
That's it, that's it, that's it.
Huddle up, huddle up.

Huddle up. A couple a words
before we get started.

First of all, why are you
wearing the wrong jerseys?

We don't want you to be our
sponsor anymore.

You're crazy.

[Chuckles] Child, a this is

myteam, okay.

I own y'all. Y'all can't fire
me.

David's dad has more money, and
he's sponsoring the team now.

Okay, okay, alright.

Alright. You're gonna do this to
me, huh?

Huh, to me?!

I will have y'all playin'
basketball

- ...in Pelican Bay when I'm
finished!
- I love Pelicans.

You love what?

[Laughs] No shoe program for
you!

No shoe program for you!

You like shoes? None for you!

- No shoe program for you!
-Hey hey, Tone, Tone!

- What do you want?!
- Hey man...

I know kids are fickle, but so
is the sports business, man.

Heh, look you lettin' this owner
business go to your head.

Look man, this is a kids league,
dude.

You right.

Kids I'm...I'm sorry.

Okay, I guess I got a little
carried away.

I always wanted to be a team
owner. I guess it kind of went
to my head.

I took the fun out of that so

for that, I apologize.

We accept your apology.

But you're still fired. We have
a game to play.

Fair enough.

[Instrumental Music]

Oh thank God. Lisa, you're home.

I need a huge favor.

Okay Lori, no. I don't care how
fine he is.

I am not loaning you my Spanx
again.

- Last time I loaned you two and
you wore two..
-No.

and you damn near passed out.

- I'm no.
- You know what?

This has nothing to do with your
Spanx. It's not that.

This can't wait.

The bar results are in,

and I'm just, I'm just afraid I
failed

again. And I just can't bare to
read them!

Oh my goodness. You are so
dramatic.

Why do you think you failed?

I mean after loosing to Cheryl.

And she's not even a paralegal.

I just get so nervous, and
everything just flies out of my
head.

There's no way I passed.

Okay, listen. You did great in
the mock trial. You referenced

violations and codes.

You would make a great attorney,
okay.

Anybody is gonna be lucky to
have you.

[Sighs] You're right.

Someday I will make a great
attorney.

Damn, right! Now let's

- ...look at these re--
- I don't know if it's today.

- What? Okay. Now you know what?
Go ahead.
- Just don't. I don't think so.

- Here, let me, let me look.
- No, I just don't think. I
don't--

- Just let me look.
- You sure? Okay, fine. Well no
maybe not.

- If you don't give me this
phone.
- Ah, okay, okay. Fine, take it.

- Give me the phone.
- Ah, no no.

- Thank you. Oh my gosh.
- Aah!

Sheh! [Lori cringes]

Oh you scored

290 out of the minimum
requirement of 288.

[Sighs]

You passed!

[Screams] You passed.
Congratulations!

I passed?

Lori, you passed.

Uah!

I'd like to thank God

[Laughter]

and the bar association and all
the little people

like my dear, young Lisa

who believed in me

even when I didn't believe in
myself.

Now go get them Spanx.

This litigator has to go find a
new client to cross-examine

until he throws himself at the
mercy of the court.

[Squeals]

Ah ha ha, baby.

What?!

Come on, come on, come on.

[Saleem] I am open. [Claps]
Pass.

- [Saleem laughs]
- And there went my tier.

Hey what's up, Tone?

Hey, Donnie. Wait a minute.

Doesn't the Little Lake Show
have a game today?

They do, but they fired me.

Really, why?

Well aside from me not knowin' a
damn thing about basketball

plays, and we lost our lost game
88 to 8.

Yeah, besides that.

[Sighs] Well...

they fired me cause I gave the
kid who sucked the most playin'
time.

What's wrong with that? You're
just tryin' to develop the kid's
skills

so he becomes a better player.

Damn the skills.

His mom is recently divorced and
I was tryin' to catch a rebound.

[Laughter]

[Instrumental Music]