All language subtitles for Family.Time.S08E02.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

[Instrumental Music]

Okay Lisa, I done had it with
this dag gone sheet, now.

- Is this the right sheet?
- Yes, Tony. It's the right
sheet.

Now this is a piece of sheet.

[Audience laughter]

Oh man, Tony. Seriously, I just
don't know what to do.

Now that the kids are gone, it's
like I can finally focus on

my career.

I want you to help focus on this
bed, please.

[Audience laughter]

I'm serious.

Maybe I can start a daycare.
What do you think about that?

Daycare? You want a bunch of
badass kids

runnin' around my house? No,
thank you.

We just finished Daycare with
Devin and Ebony.

It's bad enough we still got
Donnie.

Yeah, you might be right about
that.

Ooh what about, maybe I could
sell cosmetics?

You know? Have little parties at
the house and

sell makeup and do
demonstrations.

Oh hell, no. So instead of a
bunch of badass kids,

you want a bunch of preachin'
ass women runnin' around my
house.

I got it bad enough with your
sisters,

- ...David and Goliath.
- Oh, stop it, Tony.

- What about a masseuse? I could
be a masseuse.
- What?!

No, no. Hell, no.

My wife ain't puttin' her hands
on nobody but me.

You better think of somethin'
else.

Okay well Tony, you know I'm not
gonna just

sit around and twiddle my
thumbs.

Seriously, I'm gonna start a
business. I just have to figure
it out.

Why don't you just figure out a
business that sells sheets

- ...that actually fit.
- Oh,

now if you woulda just been more
patient, Tony, I was gonna help
you

get it on!

[Audience laughter]

Now that we got it on, I'm ready
to get it off.

Not with you lookin' like a
Jabberwocky. Nah, take that off.

Uh mm. The mask stays on.

[Theme Music]

* Woke up and my wife said to m

* The bill collectors want thei
fees

* The kids keep talkin' back to
me

* Family time

* Family time. Family time.
Family time

* Woa oah oah oah, yeah eah eah

[Instrumental Funk Music]

What? No, Brandy. I can't feed
my clients weenie dogs and ramen
noodles.

This is an important meeting.

Your cousin caters?

Big Jeff, The Hood Chef?

[Audience laughter]

Sunflower seeds and Kool-aid?

Listen here, girl. I am feeding
business men,

not prison inmates.

Hello? Huh? Ah, dangit.

Phone died.

Hey baby, what you got here?

It's an apple fritter pancake.

I found the recipe online, but
you know I

added a little bit of my Lisa
magic.

Lisa magic is why we got 2 kids.

[Laughter]

You know I've always enjoyed
cooking. And actually

I just heard you on the phone
and now that I

think about it, you don't need
to hire a caterer.

I could just cook for you.

Oh um, well that's nice

sweetheart, but um

I'm really thinkin' about doin'
somethin' nice at the office. Yo
know,

sit and talk shop while we at
the shop kinda thing.

Ah yeah you must forget who
cooks for

Thanksgiving and Christmas.

My mother.

[Audience laughter]

Yeah you, you keep talkin'
you're gonna be movin' back in
with

your mother.

You know I'm playin'. And I
appreciate you. Thank you.

But, I need a pro, alright.

Now I gotta call Brandy back on
my

menu's gonna consist of a

prison pancakes, jailhouse
juice,

correctional facility crab
cakes, yo know what I'm talkin'
about?

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

[Music from Television]

I could do this all day.

I should teach a class in video
game.

Hey, I'd take that class.

You're takin' it right now.

Uh! And just like that...

- ...game.
- Hey, man.

Just took you to school.

Again? Speakin' of school, how's
it been goin'?

Well, everything's cool. You
know,

finally got off academic
probation.

[Audience laughter]

That's cool. You feel like you
actually learn anything?

Yep. I learned I'm great at
multi-tasking.

I can waste time, be
unproductive, and procrastinate

all at the same time.

What about you?

I know we got some of the
prettiest girls in my school.

And you can't beat that
California weather.

That is true. You know last
winter it was so cold at my

school, my shadow froze to the
sidewalk.

[Audience laughter]

Hey, Ross.

- Hey, Mrs. Stallworth.
- Hey Devin...

do somethin' with this. And
clean up this room.

It smells like feet and armpits.

Thanks Mom.

Hm, what do we have here?

Trash.

Trash?

Oah, trash.

Wait, what's this?

It looks like a credit card.

Did you apply for that?

Yep. I got a free box of ramen
noodles when I did.

[Audience laughter]

That's like free money.

Yep. All this says here is that
I gotta call to activate it.

So what's you tryin' to do?

I'm a call and activate this bad
boy.

Then we headed to the mall cause
you know chicks like

- ...new fits.
- Ooh hoo, man...

I heard there's a couple a
parties this labor day weekend

that's supposed to be lit.

Alright. Who's throwin' em?

I know Elephantisha's throwin'
one.

Oh heck no, man!

You know she's nosey as hell.

Last time I saw her, she was
talkin' about gettin' a nose
job.

And she said, she was tired of
all her pullover sweaters

havin' stretch marks.

[Laughter]

Man, you know she gotta lift her
nose up

to eat.

[Laughter]

Hey man I'm tellin' you, we
should head to the mall,

we should pick up those new Air
Force None's because

shoes are the fist things women
look at when they see us.

- You right. You right. So I'm a
get me a pair.
- Mm hm.

- Then I'm a get you a pair.
- Oh yeah.

And then I'm a get a pair to
sell.

I'm tellin' you man, we get
those Air Force None's,

we gonna meet our soulmate.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

A so can I offer anybody a
beverage?

Mr. Stallworth, when is the food
gonna be here?

We're gettin' kinda hungry.

Oh yeah, the caterers are on
their way soon.

- Okay.
- Well, I hope they hurry.

My stomach was growling so bad
before, some of the investors

wondered if I brought my dog.

Understood. Um, let me just
check with my assistant.

[Stomach growls]

[Audience laughter]

Brandy, where are the caterers?

I don't know. And if you woulda
got my cousin like I

said, this party would be lit by
now.

He come with his own DJ and
everything.

I told you.

We are not postin' a prison
release party.

Well find out where the caterers
are.

- Okay, fine. Okay.
- Come on.

I'm on it.

Coulda had a hand full of
sunflower seeds by now.

Ah listen, I know everybody

is really hungry, but the
caterer should be here any
minute.

Okay, but we've been here long
enough.

And we may have to go if it
doesn't get here soon.

I can't talk business on an
empty stomach.

Understood. I know, I know
exactly how you feel.

Let me just check with my
assistant.

It'll be here soon.

[Growling]

You heard that? It sounded like
a dog was growlin' around here.

[Indistinct]

Nup, then now what happened?

Don't get mad.

I got some bad news.

Well what is it? Spit it out.

So the caterer that that we
ordered,

- ...they cancelled. They, they
ain't comin'.
- What?

Cancelled? I didn't cancel
nothin'.

Ah..hell, naw!

[Growling]

See Mr. Stallworth, I told you
I'm scared of dogs!

It's like he gettin' closer...

- or mad.
- Would you--

[Music stings out]

[Instrumental Music]

Okay now tell me again why you
cancelled that order?

Because if your ghetto chef
cousin shows up

servin' fried bologna and
spaghetti sandwiches,

we gonna have a problem!

But I didn't cancel the order.

Is there a problem, Mr.
Stallworth?

Ah no, no no. Not at all, a Mr.
Kavutskiy

Just a give us a few more
moments.

Alright, but...

time is ticking.

[Audience laughter]

Hey. Hello everybody.

Soul Sisters catering has
arrived.

I'm I'm I'm sorry for bein' a
little late. There was a little

traffic.

Well it's about time.

Kind of reminds me of the last
diet I followed.

It didn't follow me so I
unfollowed it.

Ooh. Hello. Hi everyone. I'm
Mrs.

I'm Mrs. Stallworth.

There is a god.

Hallelujah. Go on and do it!

Brandy, can you help me set this
up?

- I don't mind.
- Thank you.

Baby you have no idea

how much you saved me right now.

Oh no, I know.

Wait a minute, how do you know?

I cancelled the catering order,
Tony.

What?! Why would you do that?

Because I looked he company up
online and they had

horrible ratings.

One of the reviewers said the
head chef used to be a

clown, and his food taste funny.

Hm. I guess I should've did my
research before I hired him.

Yeah, plus I really wanted to
prove to you that I could do
this.

Okay look, that's beside the
point, okay.

That's not how you do things.

Mrs. Stallworth, this is some of
the best

food I've ever eaten.

Oh well, thank you.

Do you think you could cater my
niece's

Sweet 16 on Saturday?

My current caterer got food
poisoning.

I'm tellin' you one thing, that
is the last time I'm using Clown
Catering.

- Well, absolutely. I would, I
would love to.
- Excellent.

Here is my business card.

I'm gonna go back and get
another plate,

cause last time my stomach was
growling so much,

- ...they called pet control on
me.
- Mm.

And Tony, I just want you to
know,

my investors and I love family
businesses that work together.

So, we are gonna get my attorney
to draw up some papers,

and we will get this project
started.

Thank you, Mr. Kavutskiy.

- My pleasure. This is great.
- Thank you.

So...what do you think?

Soul Sisters caterin', huh?

Yep.

I think the family has a new
business.

Mm hm. [Snickering]

[Instrumental Music]

Hey, you're lookin' busy.

Oh yeah, I just talked to Mr.
Kavutskiy,

and I'm workin' on his order
right now.

That is great, and you know
what?

I'm sorry. You were right,

and I am in full support of your
new business.

Anything I can do to help, you
let me know.

Aw, thank you sweetie. I mean
you've already done enough.

You got me my first gig.

- Alright.
- M'wah!

Hello, fellow Stallworths.

I''m not interrupting your brown
sugar am I?

Hey you know, we do got a little
love jones goin'.

So now that I have my new
catering business, it feels

like poetic justice.

Ooh I see what you did there.

Which brings me to why I asked
you over, Viv.

- Uh huh.
- I thought maybe we could help
each other...

generate some stable income.

So, I was wondering if you'd be
interested in partnering with me

in my new catering business?

- OMG! I'd be so happy to go
into business with you!
- Yeah?

[Gasping]

I knew you'd recognize my
cooking skills one day.

I make a mean tater salad.

Mm. I bet it's pretty mean on
them taste buds.

[Laughs] I have a really big gig
coming up.

It's a Sweet 16. They're
expecting about 20-30 guests.

Oh that's amazing. We better get
cookin'.

Oh oh, so ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh,
actually Viv...

I was thinking you know, you
could help me stay organized.

Let me be the first to say,

congratulations ladies, on your
new business.

[Viv chuckles]

And this one time, I bought some
shoes from my dealer.

And I don't know what he laced
'em with, but I was trippin' all
day.

- Yep, you gotta be more
careful.
- Dang.

- Hey everyone.
- Woa, woa, woa.

Devin, are those the new Air
Force None's?

We just be out there flossin'.

I bet you're gettin' all the fly
hunnies wearin' those.

You see, I told you that's the
first thing they lookin' at,
man.

- Eh, you fly!
- Nah, you fly.

- You fly!
- Nah, you fly.

Alright, alright. Calm down,
young jock strap and a Bruno
Martian.

Devin, where did you get all
this money from?

Oh I just sold some shoes,

But can we talk later? We just
came to get ready for this

backyard barbecue party.

Alright then, my peeps.

Now don't get caught up in any
thirst straps.

I heard it's a hot girl summer.

[Audience laughter]

No promises.

[Lisa smirks]

- [Tony] Lisa?
- Yeah.

Them clothes look pretty
expensive.

Right. I was thinkin' the same
thing.

How do you think he got the
extra cash?

I don't know. It better not be
anything illegal.

Huh? Devin wouldn't do anything.
He's a nice, young man.

So was Ted Bundy.

[Audience laughter]

I'll have a talk with him later.

[Instrumental Music]

Hey, Lisa.

Oh you look exhausted.

Oh yeah. You know I've been
cookin' all day long and

a I'm tired!

You know I'm so tired, my tired
is tired.

Well I've been thinking and I
came up with a

few menu items that I think
would really help us take our
catering

company to the next level.

Oh, wow. I like your dedication,
Viv.

What'd you come up with?

Well so first, I was thinking

um a cranberry macaroni and
cheese would be a

great addition to the menu.

Then maybe even a pumpkin spice
fried chicken,

and how about like a kumquat
taco?

Okay so Vivian, um yeah

I was thinking that you could
stick to maybe more of the
advertising,

the accounting, marketing,
business aspects

of the business.

Well, I was hoping to be more
hands-on with the cooking.

I don't mean to brag but I won

prison chef of the year three
years in a row.

You just haven't lived until
you've had prison pot pie.

[Audience laughter]

Yeah Viv, right now you'll just
be more beneficial on the
business side.

[Audience laughter]

Okay...so um, is there anything
you need me to take care of
right now?

Um well, I was thinking

about buying this expensive,
high-powered juicer.

Hm, well let's check it out
online...

- ...and see how much it costs.
- Oh yeah, no I actually...

already have it pulled up right
here.

Whew. Aw, that is expensive.

But it's nice though.

A yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're
right. Right.

I can't afford that now.

[Deep inhale] Okay you know,
I'll just manage without it.

You ready for this sweet 16
party?

Is prison meat greasy?

[Audience laughter]

Alrighty then.

Okay, got it?

Yep.

Alright.

- [Indistinct]
- [Lisa] Okay, you got it.

Better get that door though.

Oh yeah, that's gonna be
interesting.

We got it. We got it.

Alright, oop, yep.

[Lisa] Probably not a good idea.

[Audience laughter]

[Typing]

[Audience laughter]

[Music stings out]

[Instrumental Music]
Okay, okay, a how many of those
pairs of them you got?

Okay, yeah. I'm-- I'm a need me
5

of those at least, in every
color.

Yep, yep. Um a...

you know what? I'm feelin' real
generous today.

How about you get yourself a
pair too?

Alright. Okay, bye.

Hm...dude.

A new credit card!

Every $500 I spend, I get new
puppy points?

[Audience laughter]

We gettin' a puppy?

No, but my dad told me never
turn down anything for free.

What are you doing here?

Oh well, I brought you some free
food.

Where is food free?

Anywhere they accept my mama's
credit card.

Boy, that is not free.

Free for us.

It's all plastic anyways, man.
She won't even know.

Besides man, we gotta get to the
mall.

[Phone ringing]

Yes, yes. A I would like

the Bazooka Blender 9000.

Is it true that they can really
cut through bone?

Mm, and I saw that you guys have

a Kruger blades as an accessory?

Also, how fast can you get that
here?

Hey hey, a get 2.

We can sell one on Gbay and get
the cash.

[Audience laughter]

Okay, okay. Thanks Freddie.

Yeah, yeah. My mom's gonna love
this.

You're the goat.

Thank you.

You're gettin' your mama a goat
too?

[Audience laughter]
No...ah, never mind.

What's so important at the mall?

The new Jane Jumper just came
out, man.

We need to cop that for this
weekend.

Now you know my dad is not gonna
let me

wear no [Indistinct].

[Audience laughter]

But...if we're not gettin' the
jumpers then

what's the next move?

A just came out with the new
Jesus Walkers.

My bro, we'll be the new kings
of the block.

We better hurry up and get there
before that line gets too long.

and they close the gates.

Oh don't even worry about it.

I got a spot where we can go
through the wire and go

straight to the front door.

[Audience laughter]

Isn't your dad gonna trip when
he sees those new shoes?

He can't tell me nothin'.

I'm grown.

[Tony yelling] Devin, get up
here!

Coming, Dad.

[Audience laughter]
I thought you were grown?

I'm grown, not stupid.

[Audience laughter]
[Music stings out]

[Instrumental Music]

[Video-game sounds effects]

What's goin' on there?

Hey Dad, you just gettin' home
from work?

Mm hm. What's all this?

All what?

You know what all what?

It looks like a damn pawn shop
in here.

A you got five seconds to
explain

to explain yourself. Two...

- You said five.
- One!

Okay...but before I explain,

I wanted to give you this gift.

[Audience laughter]

I'm not doin' anything illegal.

I ain't harborin' no fugitives
in here, boy.

It's not even like that, Dad.

I got a little extra money from
the shoes I

sold and I thought, who better
to spend my money on?

[Audience laughter]

Oaaah, are these the new-- with
the ah--

okay! Okay!

Hey man, it ain't even my
birthday. Hey,

- ...thank you, son.
- It was the least I could do.

Ah you shouldn't have, man. And
you know what,

I'm sorry for thinkin' the
worst.

Besides, I value my freedom

way too much.

And I just got a date with
Sharane.

Sharane, Sharane?

- Yep.
- You know her mama used to be
thicker than a Snicka.

[Audience laughter]

- Well, it runs in the family,
pops.
- Mmm!

And milk does the body good.

I know that's right. [Laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

- Wow...woa.
- Ooh.

- Whew!...
- Oh my God.

what a night!

- Mm.
- Hoof.

Last time I partied that hard, I
woke up next

to a moose in Modesto.

[Laughter]

Well you know, at least we got
another gig out of it.

Oh that's true.

What was that?

[Exhales] What's what?

Hold on.

What?

For a very special person.

Congrats on your first gig.

Oah, what is it?

I don't know. It must be from
Tony.

Oh my gosh. It's the juicer!

that I mentioned.

How'd he know?

Aw.

Hey babe. Hey Viv.

Hey. You know what, I gotta go.
I'll catch you guys tomorrow.

If I don't leave now I might
become a permanent fixture

and Tony might start charging me
rent.

You're damn right.

Thanks Viv. Bye.

So how'd everything go today?

Oh everything went great.

Hm, that's what I like to hear.

And thank you baby, for my
juicer.

How'd you know?

What are you talkin' about? I
didn't buy you a juicer.

Well now, if you didn't buy it,

who bought it?

[Scoffs] I think I have a pretty
good idea who.

[Audience laughter]

[Phone vibrates]

Hello.

Yes, this is Tony Stallworth.

Unusually high activity on my
credit card?

[Audience laughter]

No, I a do not have an account
with you.

I'll get to the bottom of this.
Thank you for calling.

Who was that, Tony?

That was the bank.

I think my belt's about to make
a deposit.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

Devin, get your ass down here,
boy.

Tony, don't hurt him.

The last thing I wanna do is
hurt him, but it's definitely on
my to do list.

Devin, I need you to tell us the
truth.

Where did you get this money
from?

I got a credit card.

Credit card? I thought you said
you got the money from sellin'
shoes.

I did, but I also used a credit
card.

How did you plan on payin' the
money back?

See I was gonna use the shoe
money

to pay off the credit card, but

things kinda just got our of
hand

Devin, a lot of these

credit card companies

pray on college students!

Mm hm. See this is exactly why I
didn't want to get you a credit
card

in the first place.

I knew you weren't responsible
enough.

But Dad, It's basically like
free cash.

Nobody really cares about it.

You think they don't really care
about it?

Try missing a payment.

Your credit will get so bad,

you'll have to take a house loan
out, and put it in your kid's
name.

Is this house under my name?
Because under

- ...my roof--
- Knock if off, boy!

[Audience laughter]

Now I got a belt which your name
on it. Keep it up.

But the payments are really low.

Devin, you have to read the fine
print.

Yeah. See what they don't tell
you is that because of the
interest,

you'll wind up paying twice as
much for whatever you buy.

Hm. So instead of paying

$200 I'd be like paying $150?

[Audience laughter]

A yeah, or more.

Okay, so that could like add up
to $100 in no time.

[Audience laughter]

Just keep talkin' son. One day
you'll say somethin' smart.

Exactly what I was thinkin'.

[Audience laughter]

Look Devin, bottom line, you're
gonna have to return all the
stuff you bought,

and get a refund.

So do you think I could get a
loan from the

bank to pay off the credit card,

and I can keep everything?

Son, the bank will only give you
a loan

if you can prove that you don't
need it.

Well what about the stuff that's
been used?

Okay son, consider this your
first lesson of manhood.

You're gonna have to just return
what you can,

and then get a job to pay off
the rest of the debt.

So Dad, a you think you can

let me borrow $6,000?

$6,000?!

Boy you better leave now cause
you're livin' on borrowed time.

[Audience laughter]

[Footsteps departing]

Maybe he'll learn his lesson
soon.

Oh he'll figure it out.

I mean it's amazing.

You spend the first 2 years of
their life

teachin' them how to walk and
talk,

and the next 20 years of their
life, tellin' them to sit down
and shut up.

[Audience laughter]

- [Devin] Dad?
- Shut up!

[Music stings out]

[Instrumental Music]

Chuh!

Huzzah!

[Grunting]

That's called the kinky toe
technique.

If you do that to the kinky toe,

it'll drop right off a man's
body.

Alright.

And it's also great for
self-defense.

You see this? This is a great
tablet.

It might beat you in chess,

but it don't got a thing on you
in karate.

I think you just filled my
criteria.

But the megapixels look

a little choppy!

Hmm.
[Audience laughter]

Well, I'll throw in that case
for you.

[Audience laughter]

Okay.

[Audience laughter]

Good job, son.

You're a natural salesman, just
like your old man.

You know, that thought did cross
my mind.

A thought crossed your mind?

It must have been a long and
lonely journey.

Yeah, it took a little time but

I'm startin' to have fun with
this whole sellin' thing.

Mm, I'm glad you figured it out,
son.

Hey, what about your jacuzzi?

I'll give you a couple hundred
bucks for it.

Boy, you sell my jacuzzi, I'll
drown you in it.

[Audience laughter]

- Sold!
- Boy--

- [Grunting]
- Woa, you know what?

I don't really like the jacuzzi
that much anyway.

[Audience laughter]
[Music stings out]