All language subtitles for Family.Time.S07E07.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

[Instrumental Music]

Hey, did you notice the For Sale
sign is gone across the street?

Oh yeah. I wonder who's
movin' in?

Maybe they have a son whose an
all-american linebacker that can
take Ebony to prom.

So we can help him score off the
field? Hell, no.

Don't get no senior all-American
linebacker's back, bro.

I'll fight a kid. Just like Kat
Williams, but I'd win.

Whatever, Tony. Whoever it is, I
just hope they don't bring down
the property value.

That's probably the same thing
them bougie black folks said
when we moved in.

Maybe they're white.

Huh? Probably are with all this
regingivitis goin' on.

It's gentrification, Tony.

Can a brotha make a joke?

Yes. Yes, but you know, speakin'
of gingivitis,

did you floss?

Mm hm. Sure did.

Got enough left over for lunch
tomorrow.

[Audience laughter]

Eeww, Tony.

You know, so what if they're
white.

We'd probably get a Whole Foods
around here finally.

- Not a bad thing.
- Mm hm...

till Barbecue Becky calls the
cops and shuts down the
barbecue.

[Theme Music]

* Woke up and my wife said
to me *

* The bill collectors want
their fees *

* The kids keep talkin'
back to me *

* Family Time á

* Family Time. Family Time á

* Family Time. Waa aah woa oah
oah oah yeah *

[Knocking]

[Instrumental Music]

Hello hello, Lisa. I'm so sorry
for dropping by

unannounced. I hate
doing that.

I wanted to introduce you to our
new neighbors.

- Hi, I'm Kira, and this is my
husband, Ryan.
- Nice to meet you.

Hey um Lisa, a did you switch me
and Devin's draws, cause these

tight ass briefs are turnin'
into a thong.

- Yeah.
- And a this is my husband,
Tony.

Tony, these are our new
neighbors.

I didn't know we had company?
My bad.

Wait, wait a minute.

Tony Stallworth?

Ryan Parker! Knock it off.

- Waz up, baby?
- Hey, baby.

Wait, you two know each other?

Ah, this was my guy back in
junior high school.

- [Laughter]
- Wow, what a crazy coincidence.

- Yeah.
- And now we're all neighbors.

Wait, I thought your last name
was Jones?

Yeah, I mean I know it's gonna
sound confusin' but

I used to go by my mother's
maiden name.

See we used to call him Lyin'
Ryan back in the day. Boy would
lie about anything!

- This guy.
- Now what kinda lies did you
tell this lovely young woman?

A few too many.

Yeah yeah yeah, but they used to
call him,

- ... Phony Tony.
- Aah.

Why is that Tony?

You can tell 'em. You know.

Because he used to tell
everybody in the hood that

the dude from Boyz n the Hood
was his older brother.

- Oh, right.
[Collective laughter]

- That's good.
- Wait...

- Nobody believed him.
- ...that would make Lisa a hood
rat.

[Laughter]

- So much fun.
- Okay.

- Ah, so...
- You know what, come in.

What are we doing? We should
have drinks.

- Do we have drinks? Let's
have...
- I was gonna suggest,

- a drink.
- I was gonna suggest that.

- Come on.
- Okay, go go go...

- ...go drink
- Come have a seat, brotha.
- Let's do it.

Wow, Tony the man.

- This is a lovely house you got
here, brotha.
- Oh thanks, man.

- Thanks.
- What's up, baby?

- So Tony...I see you're in
construction, huh?

How you know that?

I mean I just figured because we
used to always work for your dad

- in the summertime, so
- Oah!

- I thought you'd just follow
suit.
- Yeah.

Aw, man. Yeah, the back of my
neck still look like cracked
leather

from all them hot-ass
summers.

Right. Right, I can see that.

[Laughter]

That's funny man, cause I was
just thinkin' about that day
when saved me from

fallin' off a old man Johnson's
roof.

Ah, I forgot about that.

Yeah, you know. It is what it
is, man. Look,

we was tight back in the day,
man. They you just got ghost,
what happened?

You know what they say? You get
the call of duty.

- You must answer.
- Mmm. The war, huh?

Ah a, I don't really want to
talk about all that right now.

- So yeah, you know.
- I fell that. I feel that.

But I was just about to go down
to the barbershop. You wanna tag
along? Meet the fellas?

Yeah, maybe I can get the back
of my neck fixed.

Aah, they don't really fix much
there, you know.

Go hang out and you know,
talk shop.

- Yeah.
- Might get a cut somewhere
else after.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

You get outa here, 10-gallon
head in a 5-pound bag.

[Audience laughter]

[Tony laughs] Hey everybody,

this is Ryan. Ryan, this
everybody.

- Hey.
- Ha ha, hey.
- And this...

.. is the guy I was tell' ya
about. That's Roger.

- This is his place.
- Right, hey.

So you're the best barber in the
whole city?

You damn right. I'm the one who
kept Steve Harvey

crispy all through the night.

So, you think you can tighten me
up? Maybe hook up my neck?

Come on man, no problem. Boy,
any friend of Tone's...

is a friend of mine.

- Alright.
- How you doin'?

[Sighs] Except Donnie.

Hey what's up, y'all? Y'all
tryin' to get in on this a
football pool real quick?

Oh yeah, count me in.

Huh, you want some of this?

Oh, no. I left all my illegal
activities back in high school.

You mean you ain't purse
snatchin' on mopeds no mo?

[Laughter]

Good one. But hey,
seriously...when we wrap up here
you think we could

swing by Best Box? I wanna get a
new flat screen for my lady.

Flat screens? Well you know,
they fall off the truck all the
time around here.

All you gotta
do is say the word.

No. I'm good on that too, but

I would like a little info on
your connect.

Connect? Tone, who the hell is
this old square peg in a round

face ass?

So what's up, Tone? Tryin' to
get in this pool or what?

I need that money.

Man, don't even try it. I
already gave you the cash.

Besides, you owe me as much as
you be in my kitchen.

Hey, speakin' of which, how come
you haven't restocked my
favorite chips yet?

Hey, who this?

Ah, this is my man, Ryan.

- Waz up
- And, anyway...

So look, I got 2 front row
tickets

to the basketball game Friday.
You in?

Hell, yeah! Man, how'd you score
those?

Oh you know I got the street
flush.

My hookup guy, man.

But you know, unless you're a
too busy with your new friend
Ryan, here.

Hey hey guys, it's okay. Trust
me.

And Donnie...so, you're the guy
who gets all the hookups?

2 for 5's, and 5 for 10's. All
that, huh?

[Audience laughter]

Yeah. That's that's what they
call me.

Dollar gettin' Donnie.

You know, what you need?

How about a little information?

I'm a detective.

[Audience gasps]

Right.

[Audience laughter]

And and I said to my street
plug,

I I I will not take those
tickets.

I am a tax payin', wholesome,
law-abidin' citizen,

and I'm gonna pray for you on
Sunday

at church, where I go on a
regular basis.

Hallelujah. Praise ya. all of
that, I'm I'm in there.

[Music sting]

[Instrumental Music]

Girl, I don't even know why you
wastin' your time lookin' at all
these fancy

dresses. You know Tony ain't
gonna do nothin' but take
you to the

Clam Bucket.

I just like online
shopping, okay.

Is that a crime? Some
people don't like to
recycle their clothes.

[Laughter]

[Knocking]

Who the hell is that?

Our new neighbor. One of 'em.

Uh, how long have you known her
that she can just traipse
through your backyard like that?

This ain't Ferris Bueller's
Day Off .

About 23, 24 hours.

I don't even get to knock at the
backdoor.

You don't knock at any door.

Good morning, neighbor.

- Hi.
- I tried knocking at the front
door but no one answered.

Well did you try the doorbell,
ding dong?

I um hope I'm not interrupting
anything.

Come on in, Kira. My sister
Laurie and I, were just doing a
little online shopping.

Oh that sounds lovely. Well, too
bad I can't do any of that
anymore since

my husband put me on a budget.

- Oh.
- What do you mean! put you
on a budget?

Girl, last man put me on a
budget, I put him on the curb.

In a clinic.

A no offense, but it's kind of a
ah

married thing.

Well, a trust me, I do
understand.

My last boyfriend was married
too.

[Audience laughter]

Yeah. Well, you understand me,
right, Lisa?

Come on. You're a housewife How
do you find extra cash for the a

finer things in life?

Aaah hold up, somebody all nosy
up in people's

space and business.

What's your name again?

Lori, be nice.

I am so sorry. My sister gets a
little defensive

around new people.

So does my pit bull.

[Audience laughter]

But as I was saying, you know I
I wanted to introduce myself

Um, hi I'm Kira and

- [Audience laughter]
- And ah...nice to meet you.
- We will see.

So anyway um, I was just takin'
a look at this dress.

Whata y'all think?

Kira,

You know what, I think it's a
little busy.

I agree.

That dress look like one of
grandam's couch patterns.

Well I mean I personally think
it's nostalgic.

- [Lori] Ha!
- [Lisa] It's really cute.

- [Lori] Tell her.
- Well yes...as I was saying,

it's busy but in all the
right ways.

- You have excellent taste.
- Oah.

Oh, the only thing is it's a bit
pricey.

Oh yeah, well I mean a girl can
dream, can't she?

Hmm.

Lisa, can I use your restroom
please?

- Oh yeah. Right, right down the
hall.
- Over--

- Mm hm.
- Thank you.

No problem.

Make sure you flush and turn on
the vents.

And spray!

- Lori!
- I don't like her, Lisa.

- You just met her.
- I don't like her vibe.

She all flippy floppy.

- Oh, come on. She's harmless.
- Yeah, well that's what they
said about that

little old lady...rom Misery,
Kathy Bates.

I couldn't help but notice your
exquisite decor on my way to the
restroom.

Oh, that's what it is. You
blind.

You didn't tell me she was
blind, Lisa.

I mean the only thing blinding
me was that gorgeous vase in the
hallway.

- Oh, that old thing.
- You know what Lisa, I need to
do a little shopping for the

house,... and could use a little
company.

- Lunch on me?
- Oh, sure!

Well since you're treating...

[Audience laughter]

I'll go on ahead and go wit
ch'all.

Let me go get my purse.

Well never mind, lunch on you.

Lunch on me. Yay.

[Instrumental Music]

This is unbelievable, Tone.
Absolutely unacceptable.

I don't like it, man. I don't
like it.

Okay, I don't like you pacin'
back and forth in front of the

TV while you tryin' to watch the
game, man.

Sit your ass down.

Or what? You're gonna tell your
little cop friend, Ha-Ryan
Five-O.

Okay. So I have a friend that's
a detective, what's the big
deal?

The big deal is he's not a
detective, man.

Okay, Inspector Gadget is a
detective.

Dick Tracy is a detective.

[Audience laughter]

Hell, Ice-T is a detective.

[Audience laughter]

Ryan ain't even got a cool hat
or a New York accent.

I just want him out the
neighborhood, Tone.

You want him out the
neighborhood, why?

This ain't your neighborhood.
You don't even live here.

Look...don't you get it, man?

He's tryin' to get close to you
so he can take you down.

Okay? He probably tryin' to get
you for that illegal cable you
got.

Okay. First of all, I don't have
illegal cable, you do.

Facts!

Well you know, maybe he's tryin'
to get you for not payin' your
back taxes.

Okay first of all, he's not the
IRS.

And secondly, I pay my taxes.
You don't.

You wanna say it a little bit
louder?

Look man, how can I pay my taxes
if I don't have a job, Tone?

Hmm?

I just realized he's tryin' to
get close to you so he can take
me down.

Ugh, they always try to come
after the subordinates before
they take out the big boss.

I don't feel safe here
anymore, Tone.

Good. Does that mean you're
gonna leave me alone so I can go
watch my game in peace?

Nah it just means I don't want
my fingerprints around here
anymore.

[Audience laughter]

Knock knock.

Ah hah!

You see that, Tone? It's a raid,
man.

He's comin' through and he's
gonna bring the batterin' ram
and knock down all your walls.

[Chuckles] I come in peace.

Actually, Lisa let me in.

Yeah yeah, likely story.

- What's up, man?
- Waz up?

Nothing's much going on. I just
actually came by

[Audience laughter]

I just wanted to invite you and
Lisa to dinner.

[Tony] Mm. Hey man, that sounds
like a plan.

This is a nice suit. This is
very nice.

[Audience laughter]

[Laughter] We'd love to.

Now a Lisa and Kira, they did go
shoppin' earlier and if I know
my wife,

I'm sure she picked out
somethin' perfect for tonight.

I just hope she keeps a tag on
it so we can return it.

Right on.

- Waz up?
- My man.

- Guess I'll see you both
tonight.
- Alright, brotha.

Tony.

Donald.

[Audience laughter]

Detective Beige.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

Tony, can you put a blazer on?
We're going to a nice
restaurant,

not doin' background in an Usher
Remind Me video.

[Audience laughter]

Look first of all, ain't nobody
worried about how I look.

They're there for the food.

And young people don't wear
suits no more. Don't try to age
me, woman.

Well I think all men should wear
suits on certain occasions.

Okay, there's just somethin'
about a man in a nice suit.

Wish muscles and shoulders.

But mainly, mainly a nice suit.

Look you only wear suits on 3
occasions,

funerals, weddings, and to go
see the O'Jay's.

Well Tony, you need to take a
page out of Ryan and the O'Jay's
book,

and wear a suit!

Ryan dresses like a youth pastor
past his prime,

and the only book that I'm
takin' a page out of is the
bible, amen.

Woa, I just had a revelation.

Either you wear the suit and the
jacket, or you gonna spend a
cold night on this couch.

Want me to put a tie on with it?
Cause I can I can do that.

Yeah, how about that.

[Audience laughter]

You know it's funny, everyone's
been actin' weird ever since
Ryan's been around.

Especially at the barbershop,
including Donnie.

That's weird. Ryan seems like a
nice guy.

Yeah, I don't know why they
trippin'? Cops are people too.

Yeah, I mean he seems like good
people. You know and actually

really enjoy hanging out
with Kira.

Oh, well aren't y'all the best
of friends.

I would gladly trade in both
your sisters for her.

[Laughter] Oh gosh.

Don't say that to Lori. She
cannot stand Kira.

And then she'll finally get to
understand what I've been goin'
through

with alien and predator
my whole marriage.

[Audience laughter]

You...[Laughter]
[Doorbell rings]

[Audience laughter]

- Hey.
- Hey, okay.
- Hello.

[Laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

She got different shoes than
you.

Ah, come on in.

Hey girl, hey!

Um...why do you have on my
dress?

Oh I'm sorry. I had no idea Nada
designed this dress specifically
for you?

Nada? Whose got Nada money?
Na-da I.

[Audience Laughter]
Oh really?

I thought a man like you would
be able to.

Look, I didn't really like the
dress when we were shopping, but
it kinda grew on me.

So I went back and got one too.
You know I didn't want a

buyer's remorse.

But I wanted to be the cute one
tonight.

[Sighs] Lisa look, I'm sorry.

How was I supposed to know you
would wear the same dress
tonight?

I told you we never go out. When
else would I wear it?

[Audience laughter]

Baby, don't worry. You are the
cut one no matter what dress
you're wearin'. Alright?

Lisa look, if it matters to you,
I will go back to the house and
change right now.

Wait wait wait. No, no you
won't.

We got reservations in 30
minutes and you know there's
always traffic on La Cienega.

- Okay, okay.
- Let's go.

Eh eh eh it it's fine. Let's
just, let's just go.

- Okay...or maybe you could just
put your jacket on.
- Okay.

Ah, twinsies!

- Twinsies.
- Button it up all the way,
maybe.

You look good, baby.

More like a single black female.

[Instrumental Music]

Are you finally ready to tell me
what's been botherin' you since
dinner?

- It's nothin', Lisa.
- I should be the one that's
upset.

Heffer stole my dress.

Donnie was right.

- Ooh, has hell frozen over?
What was Donnie right about.
- [Jay sighs]

Ryan was usin' me.

Oh he was usin' you?

Hm, you ordered a lobster tail
platter on his tab.

Yeah well he owes me that and a
lot more.

Tony, what did he do?

He's under the impression that
one of my clients are laundering
money through my company.

You remember Mr. Charles?

Yeah. The the nice little man?

with the leather wooded hand,
and the funny lookin' head?

And the shiny wooden leg?
- Mm hm.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They call him Woodchuck now.

Uh, apparently he's got some
real dirty money

bein' cleaned through my
company.

- Really?
- Yeah.

And Ryan wants me to be an
informant to give him some
intel.

Tony, this sounds serious.

Could we be in trouble?

Oh no no no. Don't worry. Don't
worry. I'd never let anything
happen to my family.

I just have to man up. Tell 'em
look, even though I'm I I moved
out the hood,

- Mm hm. Mm hm.
- I still.

Tony, we live in the suburbs.

Chu, I'm from the hood. You
better ask about Sweetpea.

I I just feel like,

I feel like....he actin' like
a...look, I ain't gonna say it.

I ain't gonna say the b word.
I'm gonna say, unstable
creature.

You know, he tryin' to test my
manhood.

Tryin' to turn me into a snake.

Hmm.

You need to shut up.

- You know Tony, let me tell you
somethin'.
- [Tony chuckles]

It might be unpopular opinion,
but you should cooperate with
this man.

- It's gonna all work out.
- [Tony sighs]

Alright.

- Eh eh, bottom line...Ryan has
overstepped.
- Mm hm.

What are we gonna do about the
Jones'?

I don't know.

Let's just sleep on it, if you
know what I mean.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

- I hope he's not here.
- Ah...No, of course he is.

- [Lori laughs]
- He works.

You know Lisa, it goes against
everything I believe in but

I think I'm a go ahead and help
out Ryan.

Ooh, was it somethin' I said or
somethin' I did last night to
you?

- [Lori gags]
- Both.

[Audience laughter]

I feel I have to do my civic
duty.

Plus, I don't wanna be charged
as an accomplice.

Go on, get your snitch on.

[Doorbell rings]

That's probably Ryan.

I told him to come over here so
we can talk in person.

Rather that than him tryin' to
tap my phone lines, you feel me.

Hey.

Hello. Hi, everyone.

Tony.
[Throat clears]

- Hi, everybody.
- Hi.

- Tony.
- Mm.

I wasn't expecting you to call
me based on

everything that went down the
other night.

Yeah. I wanted to talk to you
about that. Man, I

I ain't gonna lie. I felt like
you was puttin' me on the spot
tryin' to get me to

go against the code. You know,
turn me into your own little

private Pookie.

It was either that or the pokie.

- Lori.
- No, no, no. She's right.

I feel that it is my civic duty

to help out local law
enforcement crack down on crime.

- Okay.
- I used to be president of the
neighborhood watch.

- Really?
- Yes, sir.

Ah, well that's very kind of
you, Tony.

But your help is no longer
needed.

Say what?

We actually apprehended our
suspect this morning.

- Okay.
- So, Tony...

- thank you for your service.
- Thank you.

Ah'd, we , who's we?

- Me and Jackie.
- And who is Jackie?

- [Lisa] Yeah, I'm sorry.
- This is Jackie.

I don't understand what's goin'
on here. You got some explainin'
to do, Lyin' Ryan.

- Go ahead.
- Well [Laughs]...

well I guess now that we've made
an arrest, we can tell the
truth.

We are both undercover
detectives.

Oh hell, no.

Hot fuzz.

Okay so what, you mean like a
husband and wife team?

- Ah yeah, no. Um....
- Ah...no.

actually we're not married.

That was all just part of
our cover.

[Lori laughs]

I'm sorry ma'am, but I am
married to the streets.

[Audience laughter]

[Laughs] And honestly I could
never be married to someone like
Ryan.

- Hey.
- This dude wears suits on his
days off.

Look, the only times you're
supposed to wear a suit are for
weddings,

funerals, or when you're goin'
to see the O'Jay's.

Ah, friend...

- Go on.
- Well I know it, girl!

- [Squealing]
- Okay wait wait so so

you guys aren't really our
neighbors then?

Um, not actually. We were usin'
that house for a stakeout.

- Huh.
- They wanted me to keep an eye
on you, Tony.

- But I knew you didn't have
anything

- ...to do with the money
laundering.
- Okay.

Okay, well there's that I guess.
Thank you.

Yeah, that still doesn't excuse
the fact that you stole my
dress.

Yeah, about that. Um, one of my
hobbies

is running an ugly dress account
on Funstagram.

Sorry.

I told ya that dress looked like
grandma's couch. [Laughter]

- Lisa...that dress was ugly as
hell.
- [Lisa clears throat]

[Audience laughter]

Mean.

I'm sorry. But, it was good
catching up with you.

And I'm sorry it had to be this
way, Tony.

Alright, alright. So a...what
now?

- Um on to the next case.
- On to the next case.

Apparently there are some con
artists using some new media
platform

to launder money from overseas.

- Hm.
- I guess this time we can go
undercover as what?

[Together]
Actors.

[Laughter]
Ah, this is gonna be great.

Come on, Jackie.

- Bye guys, thank you.
- See ya later.
- Alright.

Stay out of trouble.

- [Tony] Alright, hey
- [Ryan] Let's go.

Yeah, I guess he's still
Lyin' Ryan.

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

Oh, what is that, somethin' Kira
left behind?

Okay see, now I'm tryin' to be
sexy,

and you about to shut down the
party before it even starts.

Now if you had to go undercover,
who would you be?

Hm. I'd probably be a famous
kingpin with a hot, sexy ass

wife and a huge villa in Miami.

Mm, but it wouldn't be your real
wife.

Whose fantasy is this?

Anyway, I'd be well known all
over the globe.

and everybody would come to see
the great Tone Corleone.

[Laughter] You ridiculous, Tony.

That's why you married me. Now,
what would you be?

I'd be a famous fashion model

so I could wear all the fancy
dresses and clothes that I want.

- [Laughter]
- Well you know you already look
like a detective

so let me take you undercover.

As a matter of fact, if you do
that thing I like,

- Ooh.
- ...you might be one step
closer to that new dress.

Tony!

The thing I like is cookin'. Can
you go make some food please?

- Ah, Tony.
- Yeah, just a like a steak or
somethin'.

My blood pressure's low. Just

A just, just a little
somethin'...and a shake.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]