All language subtitles for Family.Time.S07E06.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

[Instrumental Music]

What's goin' on, Rachel?

Have you seen this?

What, what what what what?

Earthquake in Philippines kills
thousands.

Oh my God. This is terrible!

No. Earthquake is a comedian. He
killed.

[Audience laughter]

I'm talkin' about today's
horoscope.

Really? Really, Rachel? You're
all worked up over a horoscope?

- Girl.
- No, but look. It says
Gemini...

the moon is not on your side
today.

Trust no one.

Beware, all.

[Audience laughter]

Wow.

Wow is right.

Spooky stuff.

No. No, wow as in I

can't believe you really still
believe in astrology.

I mean what does that even mean
anyway?

The moon is not on your side.

The moon is just a big rock in
space.

[Scoffs] The moon is just a big
rock in space?

Lisa, you sound so ignorant
right now.

How do you explain tides?

The moon's gravity.

Oh okay. So you believe the moon
can control these big ass

oceans but they can't control
people's moods and emotions?

Yes.

Uh mm. See two weeks ago, my
horoscope told me

to look forward.

So I stopped textin' and drivin'
and I avoided a car crash.

Huh, how do you explain that,
Lisa?

You shouldn't be texting while
driving anyway, Rachel,

whether or not your horoscope
tells you to.

Girl, I'm not playin' witchu.

Whatever Faithless Evans.

[Audience laughter]

Let's see yours.

Um Leo, Leo, Leo, if the flow
has stopped, be

open to new ways of seeing the
world.

See? Be open to new ways of
seeing the world. It's telling
you to be

open to Astrology.

Yeah, what about the, if the
flow has stopped part?

Hey Lisa, the a toilet's
clogged up.

Oh, I see the plumber's
already here.

[Audience laughter]

Oh I look like a plumber, but
you the one shaped like the
bottom of a plunger.

- Not look, but you smell
like--
- Shut your mouth, Tony.

[Audience laughter]

- Flow has stopped.
- Yeah, it's a coincidence.

Mm mm. Mm mm. There's somethin'
to this stuff.

Now I'm a loan you my zodiac
book so you can read up on it on
your own.

What are you two yackin' about?

Horoscopes. I'm tryin' to get
Lisa into Astrology.

Oh really? Well let me see mine.

Oh, [Scoffs] I didn't know you
were into this, Tony.

Oh sure. Let me check this out.

Libra. Yeah. [Clears throat]

Stick with your convictions.

Ah, even though your family has
lost they damn minds, horoscopes
are

- ...still complete--
- [Lisa and Rachel] Shut up,
Tony!

[Audience laughter]

[Theme Music]

* Woke up and my wife said
to me *

* The bill collectors want
their fees *

* The kids keep talkin' back
to me *

* Family Time

* Family Time. Family Time

* Family Time. Waa aah woa oah
oah oah yeah *

[Instrumental Music]

[Door opens]

Oh hey, there's my little
Capricorn.

- Capricorn?
- Yep. Responsible, honest,
disciplined.

Yep. That's my wonderful
Capricorn daughter.

That's my baby.

Ooh Mrs. Stallworth, you're
reading horoscopes?

What's it say about me?

Oh wait. Okay, don't tell me.

You are a... Pisces?

No.

- A Leo?
- Nope.

What? Okay wait, don't tell
me now.

Are you...what, a Scorpio?

No. I'm an Aires.

Oh. Okay, that explains it.
That's why I don't like you.

What was that, Mrs.
Stallworth?

Oh I said that that that's
exactly why I like you.

I like you too. And by the way,
you look great for

-six--
- Sixteen, Mom.

It looks like we could be
sisters.

Yeah, my older sister.

[Audience laughter]

Um...Mom, me and Alissa were
just about to go upstairs and do
some homework.

Yeah yeah. You better tell your
little friend here to watch her
mouth.

Aires horoscope says there's a
strong chance

for an ass whoopin' today.

Ya know I love ya Mrs.
Stallworth.

Yeah, I wish your mama woulda
loved birth control.

[Audience laughter]
Sixty? [Scoffs]

Your mama's sixty.

[Instrumental Music]

Wow, this is fascinating.

What is? Uah.

Lisa, you do know that that
stuff is all made up?

All they do is write something
vague that can be interpreted in
many different ways.

You don't see any truth in it.
Lu look,

Let's look at your horoscope,
okay.

Ah, Libra.

The sun is setting, but has not
yet set.

You may be presented with an
interesting

business opportunity.

Baby, I'm in construction.

Everyday, I may be presented
with an interesting business
proposition,

whether the sun sets or not,
which it does everyday.

Nope, I don't know, Tony. I'd be
particularly alert at work if I
were you.

Okay, read Aquarius.

Umm, Aquarius.

The storms have stopped. Maybe
you should try reaching out to
someone you haven't

spoken to in a long time.

See? I'm not even an Aquarius.

I'm a Libra with Scorpio
tendencies,

which means I'm tough but
ticklish.

And it's always a good idea to
reach out to somebody that you
haven't spoken to in a while.

When's the last time you spoken
to my mama?

Why don't you give her a call.
She would love to hear from you,
Tony.

Last time I spoke to your mama,

she flew away and left them two
pet guerrillas, Lori and Rachel.

[Audience laughter]

Very funny, Tony.

Did you know though that the
zodiac is not just about your
daily horoscope?

It also tells you which signs
your compatible with.

Okay, I don't like where this is
goin'.

Mm hm. It says that a
relationship between Leos and
Libras

often leads to a future with
marriage and kids.

You need a horoscope to tell you
that you're married with kids?

Honey, okay it also says a lot
of positive things about our
dynamic.

You know? Like we have the same
shared values

and a lot of sexual chemistry.

Okay. Now that's what I'm
talkin' about.

Now let's go through our star
signs, girl.

But, it also says that we don't
often

communicate well, and have a
little bit of trust issues.

Alright, fine. I'll communicate
better.

Tony, I'm serious.

Don't you wonder why we argue so
much sometimes?

Okay, you show me a married
couple that doesn't argue

and I'll show you two happily
divorced singles.

[Audience laughter]

Says here that Virgos and Taurus
are

fairly compatible.

Okay, well then let's roll play.
I'll be the

strong, brave Taurus and you can
be the sweet, sexy Virgo.

Why don't...

[Audience laughter]
[Instrumental Music]

Alright. So basically all of the
cost of building a new bathroom

in your home, come down
to...this.

Oh wow. That's a little bigger
than I'd hoped.

Is there anyway you could play
in the ballpark of this?

For that, you can buy a porta
potty and put it in your
backyard.

[Audience laughter]

Please, Mr. Stallworth. I mean,

my wife and I bought a small
house many years ago and

now, I gotta share a bathroom
with my teenage kids. I need

another bathroom.

You need to add a zero to that
number.

Look, I don't envy you, brother.
I have two teenage

kids myself. I've seen their
bathroom.

So much hair.

Uah, it's like living with St.
Bernards.

Oh you know my sister-in-laws?

[Laughter] Ah, listen.
Unfortunately brother, I just
can't help you.

You know with all the cost of
plumbing and permits,

I'd simply loose money.

Well, I appreciate you taking
the time to provide me with an
estimate.

- Have a great day.
- You too.

Hey look, maybe one day you'll
get a raise. When you do,

come on down here and see me.
You know where I'm at.

Oh I very much doubt that.

The print industry is dying.
Can't see my paper givin' me a
raise.

You're a journalist? Wow. You
know, I always thought I'd make
a good journalist.

Goin' undercover, gettin' the
scoop.

Ah, nothin' excitin' like that.
I just write the daily
horoscope.

- Ah, goodbye.
- Ya, weh weh weh, where you
goin'?

What's the rush,
brotha?

Sit down. Sit down.

Wait, you write the horoscope?

- Yeah.
- Ah, you know yesterday you
wrote

that I a Libra, would have a
very interesting business
opportunity.

Ah, you're familiar with my
work?

Very. Very. You know what, I
think this is that interesting
business proposition.

In fact...I accept.

I will build you a second
bathroom at the cost you want.

But you'd loose money.

I sure would.

Now how about you do somethin'
for me?

Anything.

My wife is a little too involved
with your column, so how about
you

let me help you write

her horoscope for her, huh?

[Audience gasps]
No! Absolutely not.

I mean, I can't toy around with
the sacred zodiac.

I mean it would be disrespectful
to my readers, and to the stars
themselves.

Okay. Alright. Well, it was good
to meet you. You know, good luck
livin' with them sacred arts.

[Sighs] This will probably come
back and bite me,

but in a classic Scorpio
fashion, I accept.

[Laughter] That's right.
Alright, sit down. This is what
I was thinkin'.

Tell her her sisters are ugly,

alright? Always ugly as hay.
That's a horoscope thing.

[Instrumental Music]

Good morning, ladies.

Hurry up with that paper,
already.

Alright, real news for me. Fake
hair, I mean fake news for you.

Give, give gi gi give

Leo,

you've always been led by fire.
Maybe now, it's time to cool
off.

You've been focused a lot on
yourself, and maybe now it's
time to put that energy

into a
loved one.

Mmm, that's interesting.

Interesting? I think it's damn
wrong.

You do everything for this
family.

I would not listen to no paper.
Don't ever change, baby.

I don't know, Tony. Maybe this
is right.

I mean I've been so wrapped up
in these horoscopes,

I wonder if I've been neglectin'
the kids?

- Or you?
- What? No, you are the best
wife a man could ever ask...

for. I love you just the way you
are.

Aww. Thank you, baby.

That's my baby. Okay, a let's
ready yours. Libra.

Life has been hard.

Time to rest. Put your feet up
and let them take care of you.

That's a weird coincidence.

That's all it is. Just a
coincidence.

I'm not gonna have no paper tell
me that my wife's neglectin' me

and I need to be taken care of.
Come on.

You sure, honey?

- Could I tempt you with a foot
rub?
- Well, if you insist.

[Audience laughter]

Mm, that's it right there. Ooh
yes girl, right there. Mm.

That's, wow!

Mm, I'm glad I didn't eat
breakfast. I'd be throwin' it up
right now.

What's yours say?

Oh um...Gemini.

You've been spending too much
time at your family's house.

You ain't gotta go home, but get
the hell up outa here?

[Audience laughter]

That's oddly specific.

Oh wow, it really says that,
huh?

I've been way too hard on these
horoscopes. See now that one is
spot on.

This don't seem right.

No, no. Now Rachel, you can't
pick and choose the ones you
like and the

ones you don't
like.

Yeah. He he's right, now.

Very Gemini of you to think that
you're smarter than everyone
else.

I mean if the stars say you
should spend less time with your
family, maybe you should

spend less time with your
family.

Are you, are you kickin' me out?

I'm not. The stars are.

There's a full moon tonight too,
Rachel. You better go before
that hair starts

growin' on your back, Teen Wolf.

Sorry, sis.

[Instrumental Music]

[Doorbell rings]

Hey Alissa, what's up?

Can we talk?

Sure. Come on in.

[Door shuts]

What's wrong?

I think my parents are getting a
divorce.

And with all the arguing, I just
can't be there right now.

Can I...stay here?

For how long?

Ah you now, a few days. Or a
week or

until we leave for college.

College? Girl please, you ain't
gettin' into college.

Oh my bad, girl. Did I say that
out loud?

Look, you can stay here for a
couple a days

but we can't let my parents know
because you know my mom wouldn't
like it.

Girl, you know your mama love
me,

she just be doin' that in front
of you so you don't get jealous.

Right.

Look, I'm sorry, Alissa. I
wouldn't know what to do if my
parents were

talkin' about
getting a divorce.

It feels horrible. Like I'm

the problem. So I just ran out
the house and didn't know where
else to go.

So if they did split up, who
would you stay with?

Um, definitely my daddy

because he got money!

But for the time being, I'm
gonna stay with you.

Did your mama cook?

[Instrumental Music]

For my favorite, most darling
husband,

I prepared for you a feast of
pot roast, collard greens,
mashed potatoes.

baked beans. And for dessert,
I'll take you upstairs--

Oh heh hey, Ebony.

How you doin', baby?

Great, actually. I'm in the
middle of studying. Do you mind
if I have dinner in my room?

Of course, sweetheart.

[Phone vibrating.] Oh, [Clears
throat] hello.

Yes. This is she.

Ah I haven't, but let me ask
Ebony. She's right here.

Ebony, ah this is Alissa's mom.
Have you seen her?

Ah no, not since high school,

where I see her everyday

at high school. Um, did I say
that already?

I'm in high school.

Ah yeah, no. She she actually
hasn't but

if I hear anything, I will
definitely let you know.

Okay, bah bye.

Thanks for dinner. Bye!

Oh she seems hungry.

That's just a growin' girl. So
listen, about that

dessert, I am very excited for
the bedroom portion, but

is there actual dessert too?

Oh yeah, there's a little suhim'
suhim'.

Is there cake? Tell me there's
cake.

You know where the cake is.

[Laughter] Oh that's right. How
about pie? Is there pie?

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

Chow time, prisoner.

What is it?

Soul food. Now this how you keep
a man.

[Audience laughter]

Good. Better than them hard
grits your mama made this
mornin'.

Okay look, you're at my house.

Technically it's your daddy's
house.

Oh, speakin' of parents, yours
just called. You know, I can
have them come pick you up.

[Audience laughter]

Nah. Let's...

That's what I thought. Now get
back under that bed.

[Music Sting]

[Instrumental Music]

Lisa, got the horoscopes for ya.

- Oah.
- Gracias.

Leo, as the seasons and tides
change,

so might you be temped to.

But don't change. Stand still

and continue how you've been.

[Laughter] Ah, it says that.

That is interesting. Well, you
heard the horoscopes. Another
foot rub?

Well, that would be my

pleasure.

- Oh I got you
- Stay away...

from his feet.

Rachel, what's up?

Yeah, girl. What you doin' here?
Didn't your horoscope tell you
to go choke yourself?

You right. It did. It literally
said, Gemini,

go choke yourself.

Tony, how did you know that?

Oh, ah because I read it when I
picked it up outside, and you
know I don't want to

disappoint the universe. Get to
choke.

[Audience laughter]

- Shut your lyin' ass up. I'll
tell you how he knew.
- How?

Get in here!

[Audience gasps]

I'm sorry, Tony. She beat it out
of me.

Wait, what does Karl Winslow
have to do with this?

[Audience laughter]

This is the man who's been
writing the horoscopes. Or at
least he

was until Tony started writin'
them for him.

Tony, come on, now. Is this
true?

I knew somethin' was off about
the horoscopes so I marched down
to the newspaper office

and made him confess.

I'm sorry. I just needed that
new bathroom.

My son is discoverin' himself.

[Audience laughter]

Tony, of all the low, low,

low things to do.

I'm sorry, baby. But I'm a Libra
and we're self-centered.

And I'm about to self-center my
foot up our behind.

Yes, I took a bribe, but it
doesn't matter.

I mean, I just make up those
horoscopes everyday anyway.

[Audience gasps]
What?
- See, I knew it.

I honestly just write whatever
pops into my head.

Leo women are known to forgive
and forget.

Open your heart today.

I'm a Gemini.

Gemini's are known to turn the
other cheek.

Well I have two sides, so what's
my other side tellin' you?

- To give me a head start?
- Mm hm. Mm hm.

[Screaming]

Wha? Aah, Lisa...hi.

Ah I'm Denise,

- ...Elizabeth's mom.
- Oh, nice to finally meet you
in person.

Is everything okay?

Well, I traced Alissa's phone to
your house.

I mean, are you sure she's not
here?

Ebony says she hasn't seen her.

Ah, maybe Alissa left her phone
here.

Ebony! Ebony.

Ebony!!!

[Knocking] Ebony.

One second.

[Audience laughter]

Okay, you can come in.

Ebony honey hey, Alissa's mother
is downstairs.

Did she leave her phone here?

No, I don't think so.

Huh, so you haven't seen her?

Nope, not since high school,

which we go to together.

Alright, I'm sorry. It's coming
from in here.

Alissa, you better show your
face.

You've got until the count of 3.

One, three.

[Audience laughter]

Hey, girl. Where did you come
from? I thought you was at high
school,

which we go to, together.

Mama, hey!

When did you get here? Oh, you
look great

By the way, did you exfoliate?
You got the freckles.

Explain yourself.

Okay, fine. I overheard you and
dad arguing,

and I thought you guys were
getting a divorce because of me
so

I came here and Ebony's like my
best friend and

Lisa's like a second mom to me.

I wouldn't go that far.

Honey, your father and I have
been worried sick about you.

No stupid argument we have could
ever be more important than you.

So you're not getting divorced?

No!

So I'm not in trouble!

No.

Yes...so much trouble.

[Audience laughter]

Okay well thank you so much for
your help, Ebony, but I guess I
won't be seeing

you for a few weeks.

Oh, try a few months.

That's fair.

Thanks, Lisa. Now if you'll
excuse me,

I have a child to punish.

Yeah, that makes two of us.

- Let's go.
- Alright.

Hug it out.

You'll be fine.

Say goodbye's.

Mm mm mm mm.

Mm mm uhm mm mm.

What do you have to say for
yourself?

Okay, I'm sorry I lied, but you
always say look out for my
friends.

Yeah. Yeah I do. Honestly
though, I'm just

I'm more upset that you didn't
feel like you could come to me

about Alissa's situation and
tell me.

I woulda let her stay.

Really? I didn't think you liked
her.

I mean I'm not her biggest fan
but

I'm always willin' to help
somebody in need, especially if
it's somebody you care about.

Thanks, Mom. I'll keep that in
mind.

So considering I was helping out
a friend,

can you only ground me for one
week?

I'll see your one week,

and raise you a month!

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

Oh ho ho ho hoo, yes.

Yeah, that's right, Tony. Dig in
there.

Don't be shy. Come on!

Yeah. That feels good. Thank
you, baby.

Baby, it's been over an hour.
How much longer?

Until I'm not mad anymore.

How long is that?

Every question you ask adds 15
minutes so...

[Audience laughter]

You guys wanna hear today's
horoscopes?

No thank you. I am done with
horoscopes.

Actually, I'm down to hear mine.

Okay.

Libra,

great things will come to you
if you

fix my bathroom at a fraction of
the cost?

So much hair.

What kind of horoscope is that?

The stars are out of line, and
so is his budget.

[Instrumental Music]