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1
00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:01,902
[Instrumental Music]
2
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:03,804
Devin, what about biology?
3
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,640
You can learn about animals and
plants.
4
00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,309
[Snoring]
5
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,912
If I wanted to sleep, I don't
need a college class for that. I
have
6
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:14,915
a very comfortable bed in my
room.
7
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:17,051
Till you start payin' rent, you
don't have a room in my house.
8
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:19,987
Uh, I've got your little money
for your little rent.
9
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,990
- Oh?
- You might want to buy
yourself a better shirt too.
10
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,425
[Audience laughter]
11
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,759
How much you need?
12
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:28,596
19 years worth. This'll do.
13
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,264
So what y'all lookin' at?
14
00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:32,266
Oh, pickin' out Devin's classes.
15
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,435
Aoh, let me help with that.
16
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:37,271
Alright. Yeah, let me find
somethin' you're good at up in
here.
17
00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:39,773
Alright how about a layin'
around the house all day?
18
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:42,143
Yeah yeah you'd be real good at
that one. Eatin' up all my food.
19
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:45,313
That's a good one. Mm, cloggin'
up my toilet.
20
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,649
You can really excel in that,
man. Yeah, you can get a PhD in
bummin' and slummin'.
21
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:53,587
Okay, so I made a couple of
mistakes and got myself put on
academic probation.
22
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,323
But it's not that bad.
23
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:58,492
Not that bad? Criminals get
probation but they still
criminal.
24
00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,861
My son is not a criminal, Tony.
25
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,898
And his junior college credits
will transfer over when he goes
back.
26
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,801
What about this class? Intro to
Harry Potter.
27
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,503
I love Harry Potter.
28
00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:11,472
So now you wanna be a wizard,
huh?
29
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,807
You talkin' about that little
near-sighted boy wavin' a stick
30
00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:15,443
around with little sparkles
comin' out of it?
31
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,411
That ain't nothin' but the
tooth fairy.
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00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:22,216
It's a literature class, Tony.
Harry Potter is a well respected
book series.
33
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:25,853
If I'm payin' for my boy to go
to college, he better be readin'
some Hemingway.
34
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:29,557
Alright ah a Shakespeare, Mark
Twain, Tupac.
35
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,559
Are you puttin' Tupac with Mark
Twain?
36
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,527
You damn right. Pac was a poet.
37
00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:35,496
Not like these mumble rappers
these days.
38
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:38,499
Please. Like you could
understand what James Brown was
sayin'?
39
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:41,735
Aaah, movin' up, groovin' up.
40
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:42,670
[Doorbell rings]
41
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,805
Hey, James Brown could dance,
right?
42
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,174
We didn't have to hear what he
was sayin'.
43
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:48,309
[Chuckles] He could....
44
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,410
[Audience laughter]
45
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,244
[Door opens]
46
00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:51,812
- Hey.
- Hey!
47
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:55,015
- Hey, Viv.
- Hey Lisa, just returning your
Tupperware.
48
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:58,686
Lasagna was delicious, but I
overate and have been backed up
for days.
49
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:02,323
Oh, that's too much information.
Why don't you back up for days?
50
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,525
Oh Devin, you're takin' college
classes?
51
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,595
Well I remember really excelling
in intro to beer pong and
52
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,230
advanced making out with frat
boys.
53
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:11,699
Hey, my son ain't gonna be
drinkin' no damn beer pongs
54
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:14,202
or makin' out with no frat boys.
55
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,937
- He means did you take any real
classes?
- Um...
56
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,673
ooh, I did great at managerial
accounting.
57
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:22,343
And that's how you and Martha
Stewart became cellmates.
58
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,011
- Dad?
- Yeah.
59
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,213
Boy, that ain't a secret.
60
00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:26,547
Google it.
61
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,416
Show him one of the jail tats.
62
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:29,950
[Theme Music]
63
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,286
* Woke up and my wife said
to me *
64
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,588
* the bill collectors want
their fees *
65
00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:36,890
* The kids keep talkin' back
to me *
66
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,526
* Family Time
67
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,894
* Family Time. Family Time
68
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:44,398
* Family Time. Waa aah woa oah
oah oah yeah *
69
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,267
[Instrumental Music]
70
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:49,937
I'm so happy to have my family
back together again.
71
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:53,741
Even if it does mean that Devin
is on academic probation.
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00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,443
So what are you gonna do when
73
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:58,746
Devin goes back to school and I
go off to college?
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00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:02,115
Cry, eat ice cream, catch up on
The Young and The Restless.
75
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,684
[Audience laughter]
76
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:06,720
What about you, Dad? What are
you gonna do?
77
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,256
I'm a celebrate.
78
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,824
And by celebrate, I mean walkin'
around the house in my draws.
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00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,626
Gross, Dad.
80
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,128
Oh you call it gross, I call it
freedom.
81
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,130
Devin, how are your classes
going?
82
00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:19,132
Actually, really cool.
83
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,235
Junior college is so easy.
84
00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:24,238
Okay, slow your roll, boy. You
haven't even had a test yet.
85
00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:26,039
It's different this time, Dad.
86
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:31,144
I'm actually really tryin',
especially in my intro to social
justice and consciousness class.
87
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,914
Did you guys know that even
though slavery's over,
88
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,284
racism and oppression still
exist?
89
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:37,017
[Audience laughter]
90
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,653
Nah, we didn't know that Devin.
91
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,055
Leave him alone, Tony.
92
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,191
Honey, I'm glad you're learning
something.
93
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,160
Yeah. I used to think learnin'
was just memorizin' stuff,
94
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:51,265
but actually it's kinda like
seein' the world in a different
way or somethin'.
95
00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:53,401
You know I never did the whole
college thing myself but
96
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:56,203
correct me if my math is wrong.
Seems to me that
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00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,440
Devin plus liking school
equals...
98
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,275
there must be a girl you like in
class.
99
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,644
Oh Tony, that is so
condescending.
100
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,680
Our son is taking an interest in
school and you think it's
because he has a
101
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,048
crush in some girl?
102
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,552
- [Lisa laughs]
- Yeah, Dad. I don't have a
crush on some girl.
103
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,187
I have a crush on the girl.
104
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,856
Told ya.
105
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,992
Let me guess, she's on academic
probation too?
106
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:22,029
No. Actually, she's really
smart.
107
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,332
And caked up too.
108
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,900
- Up top, Dad.
- That's what I'm talkin' about.
- Don't you dare...
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00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,669
high-five your son on that.
110
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,204
Man code, baby. I can't leave
him hangin'. Come on.
111
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,541
- [Tony chuckles]
- Okay, you're both gross.
112
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:36,243
So, what are you kids goin'
steady?
113
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,177
[Audience laughter]
114
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,880
Daddy, Mom, this is not 1950.
115
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:42,182
Yeah mom, we say hookin' up.
116
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:45,586
Oh yeah well my son will not be
hookin' anything up.
117
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:49,423
Yeah and only thing my daughter
better be hookin' up is her
phone to a charger.
118
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:50,691
[Audience laughter]
119
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,161
We're not putting labels on
anything right now.
120
00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,363
We're just doing with the flow.
121
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:58,499
I need you to flow into those
books, okay.
122
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,934
And if you really like the girl,
just invite her over for dinner
tonight.
123
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,704
- Okay.
- Aaah, I don't know.
124
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:06,306
What's a matter? You think we'll
embarrass you?
125
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,210
I mean Dad you were just talkin'
about walkin' around in just
your draws.
126
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,311
[Audience laughter]
127
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,747
I meant after. After you kids
move out.
128
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,917
If I make sure your dad wears
his pants,
129
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:20,287
will you invite your little
mystery girl over?
130
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,556
Alright. I'll think about it.
131
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:25,793
Good. Oh Ebony baby, I'm sorry.
We've been so focused
132
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:29,062
on Devin's classes, I haven't
asked you how your stuff is
goin'. Did you
133
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,031
decide on a topic for your
report?
134
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,966
Yep, savin' the environment.
135
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,536
You mean you have to write a
whole report on why the black
bin
136
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,605
is for trash and the blue bin is
for recycling.
137
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:38,439
[Audience laughter]
138
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,810
Woa. we're segregatin' the
trash bins?
139
00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:45,646
Segregation is not chill.
140
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:49,216
Oh honey, yeah. I'm proud of you
for trying but just
141
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,619
you know, that's not what
segregation is.
142
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,587
How is it not?
143
00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:57,425
The bins stand together.
Separate, but equal
144
00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:00,160
And why the black one gotta be
for the trash?
145
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,462
[Audience laughter]
146
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,432
Okay Devin Luther King, I had a
dream that you took out the
trash.
147
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:05,933
How about that?
148
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,402
Ah, now!
149
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:11,572
Before I turn into Malcom X and
take off this belt and whoop you
by any means necessary.
150
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:12,940
Oh.
151
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:17,978
[Instrumental Music]
152
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,014
Ah...hey, Mom.
153
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,650
What's for dinner?
154
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:25,853
Ah since Devin's little lady
friend is comin' tonight, I
wanted to go all out.
155
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,321
We got the mashed potatoes, the
greens,
156
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:31,158
pork chops. Your dad's got
steaks on the grill.
157
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,293
I'm sorry. That sounds
disgusting.
158
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,928
Excuse me, young lady.
159
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,329
You think it's okay to eat meat?
160
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:37,965
Ebony, the way you were eatin'
that bacon this mornin',
161
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,633
I thought you were a bacoterian.
162
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,134
What are you talkin' about?
163
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:43,537
Where is all this comin' from?
You've been eatin' meat your
entire life.
164
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,773
You've been feeding me meat my
whole life.
165
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:48,041
Yes, it's called providing for
your child.
166
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,310
I think the words you're looking
for are thank you.
167
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,680
You know, I've been workin' on a
report and did you know that
168
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:55,683
meat consumption is a huge part
of global warming?
169
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:58,051
I can't witchu right now. I'm
not gonna do this.
170
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,720
[Audience laughter]
171
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:03,491
Devin, why are you givin' me the
vibes of a Jamaican con man?
172
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,792
[Audience laughter]
173
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:08,061
Pork chops? Mom, are you
serious?
174
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:11,865
Don't you know pigs can feel
emotions just like you and me?
175
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,068
Can you tell what emotion I'm
feelin' right now?
176
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,537
[Audience laughter]
177
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,740
Mm hm. Got them steaks hot off
the grill. Who's ready?
178
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:23,877
Eh Devin ah, why you lookin'
like a Nigerian businessman?
179
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:26,379
- Eatin' animals is immoral.
- Right. why would you even
eat....
180
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,881
- If we had a pet dog,
- ...eat animals and
181
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,416
- a pet cat, we wouldn't be
eatin' them.
- ...be petting [Indistinct].
182
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,685
- Could do that.
[Knocking]
- Oh, thank God.
183
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:34,488
Can we stop arguing now that the
guest is here?
184
00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,389
[Knocking continues]
Please?
185
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,392
Tssh. Ridiculous.
186
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:43,864
Hi.
187
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,534
Hi, you must be Lisa.
188
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:47,901
I'm...
189
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,537
Candle-light.
190
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:53,373
Oh well Candlelight. That's an
interesting name.
191
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,176
Devin, I would've made more food
if you told me your girlfriend's
192
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,711
older sister was comin'.
193
00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:58,912
Ah...
194
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,382
no. I'm Devin's girlfriend.
195
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,752
It's so great to meet you.
196
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,086
[Instrumental Music]
197
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:10,490
[Instrumental Music]
198
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,629
[Audience laughter]
199
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,936
[Laughter continues]
200
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,405
So um, Candlelight,
201
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,240
is that your birth name?
202
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:30,778
No, my mother named me Sarah.
203
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,346
Well isn't that a beautiful
name.
204
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:37,084
It's biblical, written by a
bunch of men.
205
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:40,087
Also known as The Apostles.
206
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,423
And I wanted to choose my own
207
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:46,660
female-empowered name.
208
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,495
[Audience laughter]
209
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,664
Which is Candlelight?
210
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:53,000
So, how'd you two meet?
211
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,636
Well, Ms. Candlelight was my
teacher's assistant
212
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,939
in my "Social Justice and
Consciousness" class
213
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:02,242
Devin baby, we're dating now.
214
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,779
You don't have to call me Ms.
Candlelight anymore.
215
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:09,349
I'm sorry, Ms. Candle--
Candlelight.
216
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,019
[Audience laughter]
217
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,421
So Devin was your star pupil?
218
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:15,823
Quite the opposite,
219
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,558
probably the worst student I've
ever seen.
220
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:22,029
But I continued to go to her
221
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,496
office hours.
222
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:26,499
And we just really hit it off.
223
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,101
[Giggling]
224
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:29,870
Please have more food, would
you?
225
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,005
You kids are hardly eating.
Just, please have some more.
226
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,307
I told you Mom, eating meat is
wrong.
227
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,811
Ah if eatin' meat is wrong, then
I don't want to be right.
228
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:41,314
I did the research. Livestock is
responsible for 15% of
229
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,684
global greenhouse gas emissions.
230
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,118
That's half.
231
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,220
I said 15, not 50.
232
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:49,456
That's a third.
233
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,324
[Audience laughter]
234
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,560
Ebony, the whole world eats
meat.
235
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,596
This family continuing to eat
meat isn't gonna change much.
236
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,232
You know, no disrespect Mr.
Stallworth,
237
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,669
but you see what you doin' here
is what we call
238
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,503
mansplainin'.
239
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,238
Mansplainin'?
240
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,908
It's when men talk down to women
241
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:11,078
on topics women are more
knowledgeable on.
242
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,479
[Audience gasps]
243
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:15,048
Okay this isn't about me being a
man and Ebony being a girl. This
is
244
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,751
about me knowing more than her
and telling her what to do.
245
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,252
Mansplainin'.
246
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:21,588
I'm her father, dammit.
247
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,757
Ooh, so it's ageism.
248
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,225
[Candlelight] Mm mm mm mm.
249
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:26,426
Devin, get your girl.
250
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,496
Come on, Dad. Age ain't nothin'
but a number.
251
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,265
I can see you really believe
that.
252
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,268
I think we should make this a
meatless household.
253
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:38,271
Mm hm. I agree with Ebony.
254
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:41,208
And I think we should make it a
household free
255
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,210
of microaggressions.
256
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,278
Devin, what is a
microaggression?
257
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,680
I'm not sure,
258
00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:49,917
but I think Dad uses them all
the time.
259
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,785
Oh I use microaggressions?
260
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:54,454
I'm about to show you a
macroaggression in front of Ms.
Candlestick.
261
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,957
It's Candle...light.
262
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:57,925
[Audience laughter]
263
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,363
Tony, what are you doing?
264
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,098
Tryin' to blow candle's lights
out.
265
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:06,266
[Audience laughter]
266
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:09,369
Okay. What I think your father
is tryin' to say is
267
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,872
we get it, okay. We were once
cool.
268
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,406
You know, we tried to fight the
system.
269
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,642
Oh yeah. Remember when we
organized that sit-in
270
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,778
for that apartment buildin' that
didn't let in black applicants?
271
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:18,645
Mm hm.
272
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,579
You guys did that?
273
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:20,513
That's right.
274
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,415
Well you know, go ahead. Change
the world.
275
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:25,485
But while you're living under
our roof, you're gonna respect
the way we live.
276
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,920
That's what you're gonna do.
277
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:30,223
So you know, whatever happened
to the apartment building
downtown?
278
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,492
They demolished it. Turned it
into a parking lot.
279
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,995
But they let black people park
there, so we consider that a
win.
280
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:38,231
[Instrumental Music]
281
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,167
I don't like what's goin' on
with the kids, Lisa.
282
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,469
Well what can we do? They're
growin' up.
283
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,671
I don't like it. Make 'em young
again.
284
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,507
I like when they like cartoons
and ice cream. Things were
simpler then.
285
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,643
And our son wasn't dating a
woman our age.
286
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:54,281
She's not quiet our age, but I
can definitely hear her
biological clock
287
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,783
tickin' like a time bomb.
288
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,019
I think you're bein' a little
hypocritical, Tony.
289
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,420
How so?
290
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:03,123
Okay. Imagine this was Ebony at
college and she comes home with
some
291
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,758
grown-ass man.
292
00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:07,727
I'd crack his skull and use it
as an ash tray.
293
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,697
Exactly. And Ms. Candlelight is
clearly
294
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,533
fillin' Devin's head with
somethin'. And that better be
all she's feeling.
295
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,968
[Audience laughter]
296
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,970
Yeah, I don't think I like this
new woke Devin.
297
00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:20,340
And Ebony is definitely learnin'
that nonsense at school too.
298
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:24,611
What if it's not nonsense. I
mean we want our kids to get an
education at school.
299
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:27,815
And if what they learn
contradicts what we taught them?
300
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:30,183
Maybe we should be open to
learning
301
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,852
Or maybe the kids are wrong.
302
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:34,287
True. They're usually wrong
about everything.
303
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:37,557
So, should practice the tried
and true parenting tactic of
304
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,892
letting things play out?
305
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,728
Ebony will eventually move on to
a new hobby and
306
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,332
Devin's old-ass girlfriend will
eventually break his heart, or
her hip.
307
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,433
[Tony laughs]
308
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,902
And we don't have to play the
part of the villain.
309
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,170
Great parenting, Tony.
310
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,571
- Great parenting, Lisa.
- Yeah.
311
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,540
And you don't have to blow
Candle's lights out.
312
00:12:55,775 --> 00:13:00,713
[Instrumental Music]
313
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:01,581
[Ebony] What do we want?
314
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,550
No chicken, pig, or cow.
315
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:04,551
When do we want it?
316
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:05,819
Right now!
317
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:08,021
What the hell is goin' on? And
why do you look like a professor
318
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:10,891
that teaches African American
studies?
319
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:13,760
Well, we were inspired by your
story about the sit-in
320
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,562
so we decided to have our own.
321
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:18,832
Okay, our sit-in was in the cold
lobby of an apartment building.
322
00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:20,367
not our own, comfortable livin'
room.
323
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,768
Hey,
324
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,837
work smarter, not harder.
325
00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:27,908
Alright, okay, we get it. What,
what are your demands, huh?
326
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:32,245
Actually, my demand is all
animal products, that includes
dairy and eggs.
327
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,147
Does it include a leather belt?
328
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,516
Demand number 2:
329
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,119
And all microaggressions.
330
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:43,390
Okay will somebody for the love
of God please tell me what a
microaggression is?
331
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,725
It's a subtle action or
communication
332
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:48,428
that is intentional or
unintentional that is hostile
333
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,898
or derogatory towards a
marginalized group.
334
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,299
[Audience laughter]
335
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,134
Look, I don't think I do that.
336
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:58,138
Ah, you just called our protest,
little.
337
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:01,208
Okay, you spoiled-ass kids are
not a marginalized group
338
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:02,209
in this household.
339
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:05,078
Okay, calling us spoiled is a
microaggression.
340
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:09,382
Okay Tony, let's just agree to
no microaggressions, okay?
Whatever that is.
341
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:12,652
Fine, fine, whatever. I
microdigress.
342
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,322
Demand number 3:
343
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,957
[Audience laughter]
344
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,226
Okay, I think we're done here.
Let's go.
345
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,860
[Instrumental Music]
346
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:24,932
[Instrumental Music]
347
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:27,935
You know, I wasn't really with
this whole vegan thing at first.
348
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:30,570
But I mean I could get used to
the kids cookin' for us.
349
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:33,273
Mm hm. Why did we resist it so
much?
350
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:37,477
Coming up, meatless satay fried
rice.
351
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,712
Ah that's right, no meat.
352
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,315
Come on. Try it.
353
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:47,955
[Audience laughter]
354
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:51,191
Yum.
355
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,261
This is completely organic. Can
you just
356
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,363
taste the nutrients?
357
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,331
Mm, I can taste the rice.
358
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,100
I can taste the rice.
359
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:03,603
- [Ebony gasps]
Dad, put the hot sauce down!
360
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,005
Sorry, I'm weak.
361
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,941
Actually, hot sauce is fully
vegan.
362
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,343
Oah, I like Ms. Candlelight now.
363
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:11,878
Oh, well in that case, yeah.
364
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,280
Oah.
365
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:14,614
[Audience laughter]
366
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:18,118
So is now a good time to discuss
the other ways we're going to
367
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:19,852
eliminate animal consumption in
our lives?
368
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:23,390
Other ways. I mean we cut out
all animal products.
369
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:27,327
Well maybe eating, yes. But what
about leather?
370
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,329
I hope you ain't talkin' about
my leather seats in my car.
371
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,498
I worked hard for that car. I
took you to school in that car.
372
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:34,867
And maybe you shouldn't be
driving a car at all.
373
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,704
Maybe if we all stop killing
animals and use
374
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:40,907
public transportation, the earth
wouldn't be overheating.
375
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,010
I'm about to start to overheat.
376
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,713
Ah, I think that's a
microaggression.
377
00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:50,583
Ah ah Devin, isn't there
something you wanted to
378
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,719
ask your mother about?
379
00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:56,889
Oh, yeah. Mom, have you heard
about the patriarchy?
380
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,358
Yes.
381
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,328
You don't think you're oppressed
by it?
382
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:05,832
I mean you know, society could
improve the treatment of women,
but I feel alright.
383
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,668
I don't know. It just seems to
me that
384
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,504
Dad has forced you into the
subservient role as
385
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,940
the housewife and mother.
386
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,776
Okay, now how is that not a
microaggression aimed at me?
387
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,412
Okay Devin, you know what? I
love your father very much,
388
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:22,382
okay? Even if he is part of the
patriarchy.
389
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:25,885
Okay, I was just looking out for
you, Mom.
390
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,354
[Giggling]
391
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:28,388
Hey.
392
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:29,722
Hi, y'all.
393
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:31,424
Oh, hi. I'm Aunt Vivian.
394
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:32,992
Oaah.
395
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:37,430
Ooh, your energy feels like
mayonnaise.
396
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:40,500
[Audience laughter]
397
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,804
It's so wonderful to meet you. I
am
398
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,206
Candlelight.
399
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:47,874
[Audience laughter]
400
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:52,045
Okay um, I don't want to blow
out your flame, but
Candlelight's not a name.
401
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:53,980
But it's nice to meet you
anyway.
402
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,550
Alright. To make up for the
delicious lasagna you made me,
Lisa,
403
00:16:57,584 --> 00:17:00,887
I decided to bake you all one as
well. Ah ha hah!
404
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,289
[Audience laughter]
405
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,391
[Audience laughter]
406
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:05,925
What's wrong?
407
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,795
That right there looks like meat
to meat, Aunt Vivian.
408
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:10,830
Ah and cheese.
409
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,333
Well of course it is. That's how
you make a lasagna.
410
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,835
Yeah, the kids have turned this
into a vegan household, Viv.
411
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,937
Oah. Oh, jeez.
412
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,406
Okay, I didn't know that.
413
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,240
[Foil crinkling]
414
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,942
It's alright. Take it to the
trash.
415
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,345
Oh no, no, no. I'll just, I'll
just I'll just take
[Overlapping dialogue]
416
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,348
- It's in the trash, Aunt Viv.
- The trash, Aunt Viv!
417
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:31,351
Why are you clapping at me,
Candlelight?
418
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,486
[Audience laughter]
419
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:34,921
You want me to put this in the
trash?
420
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,657
- I'll put this in the trash.
Alright.
- Put it in the trash.
421
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,327
[Instrumental Music]
422
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:41,994
Mm hm.
423
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:44,597
Ah, what is this, another
sit-in?
424
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:47,267
No. I was up all night. Couldn't
sleep.
425
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,201
Mmm.
426
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:49,536
What's wrong, baby?
427
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,003
Me and Candlelight broke up.
428
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:53,473
Oh, thank God! [Laughter]
429
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,442
Oh no, God.
430
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:56,776
[Audience laughter]
431
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,812
What happened, son? Things
seemed to be going well last
night.
432
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,115
After dinner, me and her went to
the movies.
433
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:04,984
Oah, couldn't smuggle in your
hay burgers?
434
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,954
Did you get embarrassed because
she got the senior citizen
discount?
435
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,122
[Audience laughter]
436
00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:10,823
Not funny.
437
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,960
We ran into some guys she knew.
438
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,796
Oh, was it embarrassin' bein'
seen datin' a TA?
439
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,965
No, he was her new man.
440
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:21,634
- Mm.
- And when I say new man, I mean
441
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:23,536
grown-ass man.
442
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:27,006
Full beard, mortgage, and a 750
credit score.
443
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:30,343
I almost asked him for some
advice, and a job!
444
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,345
White dude, huh?
445
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:34,881
Apparently she didn't believe in
being exclusive.
446
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:37,750
She said it was oppressive and
patriarchal of me to think
447
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,486
that she couldn't be with other
guys.
448
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,421
Ah well...it's her loss, baby.
449
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,256
Yeah, good riddance.
450
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:47,360
I was tryin' to be woke, but I
guess I was sleep the whole
time.
451
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,697
It was very insightful honey, I
think.
452
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,400
Yeah, son. You should always
just remember that
453
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,936
Wait a minute. What's that
smell?
454
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,671
I don't smell anything.
455
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,840
I'd know that smell anywhere.
456
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,542
[Audience laughter]
457
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,344
A breakfast burrito!
458
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,845
This isn't what it looks like,
459
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,547
It looks like you made us all go
vegan.
460
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:10,250
and then you went out and got
you a breakfast burrito from a
food truck.
461
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:12,652
Okay, this is exactly what it
looks like.
462
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,055
Baby, why? You're like the slave
that turned back after you
463
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,590
suggested we leave.
464
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,292
[Audience laughter]
465
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,793
Okay, mom. I was wrong.
466
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,562
Meat and meat products are
delicious.
467
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,364
I miss them. I'm weak.
468
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:27,267
You know I would gloat, but I'm
so happy that this vegan kick
469
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,868
is over. I'm makin' bacon.
470
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:31,838
[Laughter] Devin, bacon!
471
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,374
We can eat meat again?
472
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:37,810
Wait! Maybe we should do 1 or 2
meatless dishes a week.
473
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,212
That's alright.
474
00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:43,250
Ah does this mean ah I can pull
Aunt Viv's lasagna out the
trash?
475
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,385
Boy, I been done ate that, knock
it off. The pan.
476
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:46,853
[Music sting]
477
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,656
[Instrumental Music]
478
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,592
You don't have to drop the class
just because you two broke up.
479
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,061
It would be too distracting.
480
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:58,064
Yeah, I wouldn't want to go to a
class where my ex was teachin'.
481
00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:00,132
It wouldn't be for me. It would
be for her.
482
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,435
She would be thinkin' about what
she's missin' out on.
483
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:05,638
[Chuckles] I know that's right.
You a real Stallworth man.
484
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,608
Hey. Okay, check this out. I
made you all
485
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:12,412
a meatless, cheese-less lasagna,
completely vegan.
486
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:15,282
Yeah. Viv, sorry. We're off that
vegan kick.
487
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:18,285
Oh. Oh thank God. It tasted
disgusting.
488
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,320
Probably cause of that white
people seasoning.
489
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:21,454
- What?
- Think.
490
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:22,622
Nothin'.
491
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:24,957
You've got a problem with my low
sodium seasoning?
492
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,092
[Audience laughter]
493
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,294
[Mumbling] No, no.
494
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,628
- Huh?
- No, no, no.
495
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,563
[Instrumental Music]
38332
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