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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:01,902 [Instrumental Music] 2 00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:03,804 Devin, what about biology? 3 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,640 You can learn about animals and plants. 4 00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,309 [Snoring] 5 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,912 If I wanted to sleep, I don't need a college class for that. I have 6 00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:14,915 a very comfortable bed in my room. 7 00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:17,051 Till you start payin' rent, you don't have a room in my house. 8 00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:19,987 Uh, I've got your little money for your little rent. 9 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,990 - Oh? - You might want to buy yourself a better shirt too. 10 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,425 [Audience laughter] 11 00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,759 How much you need? 12 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:28,596 19 years worth. This'll do. 13 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,264 So what y'all lookin' at? 14 00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:32,266 Oh, pickin' out Devin's classes. 15 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,435 Aoh, let me help with that. 16 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:37,271 Alright. Yeah, let me find somethin' you're good at up in here. 17 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:39,773 Alright how about a layin' around the house all day? 18 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:42,143 Yeah yeah you'd be real good at that one. Eatin' up all my food. 19 00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:45,313 That's a good one. Mm, cloggin' up my toilet. 20 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,649 You can really excel in that, man. Yeah, you can get a PhD in bummin' and slummin'. 21 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:53,587 Okay, so I made a couple of mistakes and got myself put on academic probation. 22 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,323 But it's not that bad. 23 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:58,492 Not that bad? Criminals get probation but they still criminal. 24 00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,861 My son is not a criminal, Tony. 25 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,898 And his junior college credits will transfer over when he goes back. 26 00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,801 What about this class? Intro to Harry Potter. 27 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,503 I love Harry Potter. 28 00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:11,472 So now you wanna be a wizard, huh? 29 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,807 You talkin' about that little near-sighted boy wavin' a stick 30 00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:15,443 around with little sparkles comin' out of it? 31 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,411 That ain't nothin' but the tooth fairy. 32 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:22,216 It's a literature class, Tony. Harry Potter is a well respected book series. 33 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:25,853 If I'm payin' for my boy to go to college, he better be readin' some Hemingway. 34 00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:29,557 Alright ah a Shakespeare, Mark Twain, Tupac. 35 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,559 Are you puttin' Tupac with Mark Twain? 36 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,527 You damn right. Pac was a poet. 37 00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:35,496 Not like these mumble rappers these days. 38 00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:38,499 Please. Like you could understand what James Brown was sayin'? 39 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:41,735 Aaah, movin' up, groovin' up. 40 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:42,670 [Doorbell rings] 41 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,805 Hey, James Brown could dance, right? 42 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,174 We didn't have to hear what he was sayin'. 43 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:48,309 [Chuckles] He could.... 44 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,410 [Audience laughter] 45 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,244 [Door opens] 46 00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:51,812 - Hey. - Hey! 47 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:55,015 - Hey, Viv. - Hey Lisa, just returning your Tupperware. 48 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:58,686 Lasagna was delicious, but I overate and have been backed up for days. 49 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:02,323 Oh, that's too much information. Why don't you back up for days? 50 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,525 Oh Devin, you're takin' college classes? 51 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,595 Well I remember really excelling in intro to beer pong and 52 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,230 advanced making out with frat boys. 53 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:11,699 Hey, my son ain't gonna be drinkin' no damn beer pongs 54 00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:14,202 or makin' out with no frat boys. 55 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,937 - He means did you take any real classes? - Um... 56 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,673 ooh, I did great at managerial accounting. 57 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:22,343 And that's how you and Martha Stewart became cellmates. 58 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,011 - Dad? - Yeah. 59 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,213 Boy, that ain't a secret. 60 00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:26,547 Google it. 61 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,416 Show him one of the jail tats. 62 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:29,950 [Theme Music] 63 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,286 * Woke up and my wife said to me * 64 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,588 * the bill collectors want their fees * 65 00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:36,890 * The kids keep talkin' back to me * 66 00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,526 * Family Time 67 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,894 * Family Time. Family Time 68 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:44,398 * Family Time. Waa aah woa oah oah oah yeah * 69 00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,267 [Instrumental Music] 70 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:49,937 I'm so happy to have my family back together again. 71 00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:53,741 Even if it does mean that Devin is on academic probation. 72 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,443 So what are you gonna do when 73 00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:58,746 Devin goes back to school and I go off to college? 74 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:02,115 Cry, eat ice cream, catch up on The Young and The Restless. 75 00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,684 [Audience laughter] 76 00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:06,720 What about you, Dad? What are you gonna do? 77 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,256 I'm a celebrate. 78 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,824 And by celebrate, I mean walkin' around the house in my draws. 79 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,626 Gross, Dad. 80 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,128 Oh you call it gross, I call it freedom. 81 00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,130 Devin, how are your classes going? 82 00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:19,132 Actually, really cool. 83 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,235 Junior college is so easy. 84 00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:24,238 Okay, slow your roll, boy. You haven't even had a test yet. 85 00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:26,039 It's different this time, Dad. 86 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:31,144 I'm actually really tryin', especially in my intro to social justice and consciousness class. 87 00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,914 Did you guys know that even though slavery's over, 88 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,284 racism and oppression still exist? 89 00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:37,017 [Audience laughter] 90 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,653 Nah, we didn't know that Devin. 91 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,055 Leave him alone, Tony. 92 00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,191 Honey, I'm glad you're learning something. 93 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,160 Yeah. I used to think learnin' was just memorizin' stuff, 94 00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:51,265 but actually it's kinda like seein' the world in a different way or somethin'. 95 00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:53,401 You know I never did the whole college thing myself but 96 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:56,203 correct me if my math is wrong. Seems to me that 97 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,440 Devin plus liking school equals... 98 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,275 there must be a girl you like in class. 99 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,644 Oh Tony, that is so condescending. 100 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,680 Our son is taking an interest in school and you think it's because he has a 101 00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,048 crush in some girl? 102 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,552 - [Lisa laughs] - Yeah, Dad. I don't have a crush on some girl. 103 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,187 I have a crush on the girl. 104 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,856 Told ya. 105 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,992 Let me guess, she's on academic probation too? 106 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:22,029 No. Actually, she's really smart. 107 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,332 And caked up too. 108 00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,900 - Up top, Dad. - That's what I'm talkin' about. - Don't you dare... 109 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,669 high-five your son on that. 110 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,204 Man code, baby. I can't leave him hangin'. Come on. 111 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,541 - [Tony chuckles] - Okay, you're both gross. 112 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:36,243 So, what are you kids goin' steady? 113 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,177 [Audience laughter] 114 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,880 Daddy, Mom, this is not 1950. 115 00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:42,182 Yeah mom, we say hookin' up. 116 00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:45,586 Oh yeah well my son will not be hookin' anything up. 117 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:49,423 Yeah and only thing my daughter better be hookin' up is her phone to a charger. 118 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:50,691 [Audience laughter] 119 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,161 We're not putting labels on anything right now. 120 00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,363 We're just doing with the flow. 121 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:58,499 I need you to flow into those books, okay. 122 00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,934 And if you really like the girl, just invite her over for dinner tonight. 123 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,704 - Okay. - Aaah, I don't know. 124 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:06,306 What's a matter? You think we'll embarrass you? 125 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,210 I mean Dad you were just talkin' about walkin' around in just your draws. 126 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,311 [Audience laughter] 127 00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,747 I meant after. After you kids move out. 128 00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,917 If I make sure your dad wears his pants, 129 00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:20,287 will you invite your little mystery girl over? 130 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,556 Alright. I'll think about it. 131 00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:25,793 Good. Oh Ebony baby, I'm sorry. We've been so focused 132 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:29,062 on Devin's classes, I haven't asked you how your stuff is goin'. Did you 133 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,031 decide on a topic for your report? 134 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,966 Yep, savin' the environment. 135 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,536 You mean you have to write a whole report on why the black bin 136 00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,605 is for trash and the blue bin is for recycling. 137 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:38,439 [Audience laughter] 138 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,810 Woa. we're segregatin' the trash bins? 139 00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:45,646 Segregation is not chill. 140 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:49,216 Oh honey, yeah. I'm proud of you for trying but just 141 00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,619 you know, that's not what segregation is. 142 00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,587 How is it not? 143 00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:57,425 The bins stand together. Separate, but equal 144 00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:00,160 And why the black one gotta be for the trash? 145 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,462 [Audience laughter] 146 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,432 Okay Devin Luther King, I had a dream that you took out the trash. 147 00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:05,933 How about that? 148 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,402 Ah, now! 149 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:11,572 Before I turn into Malcom X and take off this belt and whoop you by any means necessary. 150 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:12,940 Oh. 151 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:17,978 [Instrumental Music] 152 00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,014 Ah...hey, Mom. 153 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,650 What's for dinner? 154 00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:25,853 Ah since Devin's little lady friend is comin' tonight, I wanted to go all out. 155 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,321 We got the mashed potatoes, the greens, 156 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:31,158 pork chops. Your dad's got steaks on the grill. 157 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,293 I'm sorry. That sounds disgusting. 158 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,928 Excuse me, young lady. 159 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,329 You think it's okay to eat meat? 160 00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:37,965 Ebony, the way you were eatin' that bacon this mornin', 161 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,633 I thought you were a bacoterian. 162 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,134 What are you talkin' about? 163 00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:43,537 Where is all this comin' from? You've been eatin' meat your entire life. 164 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,773 You've been feeding me meat my whole life. 165 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:48,041 Yes, it's called providing for your child. 166 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,310 I think the words you're looking for are thank you. 167 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,680 You know, I've been workin' on a report and did you know that 168 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:55,683 meat consumption is a huge part of global warming? 169 00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:58,051 I can't witchu right now. I'm not gonna do this. 170 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,720 [Audience laughter] 171 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:03,491 Devin, why are you givin' me the vibes of a Jamaican con man? 172 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,792 [Audience laughter] 173 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:08,061 Pork chops? Mom, are you serious? 174 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:11,865 Don't you know pigs can feel emotions just like you and me? 175 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,068 Can you tell what emotion I'm feelin' right now? 176 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,537 [Audience laughter] 177 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,740 Mm hm. Got them steaks hot off the grill. Who's ready? 178 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:23,877 Eh Devin ah, why you lookin' like a Nigerian businessman? 179 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:26,379 - Eatin' animals is immoral. - Right. why would you even eat.... 180 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,881 - If we had a pet dog, - ...eat animals and 181 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,416 - a pet cat, we wouldn't be eatin' them. - ...be petting [Indistinct]. 182 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,685 - Could do that. [Knocking] - Oh, thank God. 183 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:34,488 Can we stop arguing now that the guest is here? 184 00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,389 [Knocking continues] Please? 185 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,392 Tssh. Ridiculous. 186 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:43,864 Hi. 187 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,534 Hi, you must be Lisa. 188 00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:47,901 I'm... 189 00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,537 Candle-light. 190 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:53,373 Oh well Candlelight. That's an interesting name. 191 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,176 Devin, I would've made more food if you told me your girlfriend's 192 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,711 older sister was comin'. 193 00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:58,912 Ah... 194 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,382 no. I'm Devin's girlfriend. 195 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,752 It's so great to meet you. 196 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,086 [Instrumental Music] 197 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:10,490 [Instrumental Music] 198 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,629 [Audience laughter] 199 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,936 [Laughter continues] 200 00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,405 So um, Candlelight, 201 00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,240 is that your birth name? 202 00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:30,778 No, my mother named me Sarah. 203 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,346 Well isn't that a beautiful name. 204 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:37,084 It's biblical, written by a bunch of men. 205 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:40,087 Also known as The Apostles. 206 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,423 And I wanted to choose my own 207 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:46,660 female-empowered name. 208 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,495 [Audience laughter] 209 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,664 Which is Candlelight? 210 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:53,000 So, how'd you two meet? 211 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,636 Well, Ms. Candlelight was my teacher's assistant 212 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,939 in my "Social Justice and Consciousness" class 213 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:02,242 Devin baby, we're dating now. 214 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,779 You don't have to call me Ms. Candlelight anymore. 215 00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:09,349 I'm sorry, Ms. Candle-- Candlelight. 216 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,019 [Audience laughter] 217 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,421 So Devin was your star pupil? 218 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:15,823 Quite the opposite, 219 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,558 probably the worst student I've ever seen. 220 00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:22,029 But I continued to go to her 221 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,496 office hours. 222 00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:26,499 And we just really hit it off. 223 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,101 [Giggling] 224 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:29,870 Please have more food, would you? 225 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,005 You kids are hardly eating. Just, please have some more. 226 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,307 I told you Mom, eating meat is wrong. 227 00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,811 Ah if eatin' meat is wrong, then I don't want to be right. 228 00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:41,314 I did the research. Livestock is responsible for 15% of 229 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,684 global greenhouse gas emissions. 230 00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,118 That's half. 231 00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,220 I said 15, not 50. 232 00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:49,456 That's a third. 233 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,324 [Audience laughter] 234 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,560 Ebony, the whole world eats meat. 235 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,596 This family continuing to eat meat isn't gonna change much. 236 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,232 You know, no disrespect Mr. Stallworth, 237 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,669 but you see what you doin' here is what we call 238 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,503 mansplainin'. 239 00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,238 Mansplainin'? 240 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,908 It's when men talk down to women 241 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:11,078 on topics women are more knowledgeable on. 242 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,479 [Audience gasps] 243 00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:15,048 Okay this isn't about me being a man and Ebony being a girl. This is 244 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,751 about me knowing more than her and telling her what to do. 245 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,252 Mansplainin'. 246 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:21,588 I'm her father, dammit. 247 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,757 Ooh, so it's ageism. 248 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,225 [Candlelight] Mm mm mm mm. 249 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:26,426 Devin, get your girl. 250 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,496 Come on, Dad. Age ain't nothin' but a number. 251 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,265 I can see you really believe that. 252 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,268 I think we should make this a meatless household. 253 00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:38,271 Mm hm. I agree with Ebony. 254 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:41,208 And I think we should make it a household free 255 00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,210 of microaggressions. 256 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,278 Devin, what is a microaggression? 257 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,680 I'm not sure, 258 00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:49,917 but I think Dad uses them all the time. 259 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,785 Oh I use microaggressions? 260 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:54,454 I'm about to show you a macroaggression in front of Ms. Candlestick. 261 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,957 It's Candle...light. 262 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:57,925 [Audience laughter] 263 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,363 Tony, what are you doing? 264 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,098 Tryin' to blow candle's lights out. 265 00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:06,266 [Audience laughter] 266 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:09,369 Okay. What I think your father is tryin' to say is 267 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,872 we get it, okay. We were once cool. 268 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,406 You know, we tried to fight the system. 269 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,642 Oh yeah. Remember when we organized that sit-in 270 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,778 for that apartment buildin' that didn't let in black applicants? 271 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:18,645 Mm hm. 272 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,579 You guys did that? 273 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:20,513 That's right. 274 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,415 Well you know, go ahead. Change the world. 275 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:25,485 But while you're living under our roof, you're gonna respect the way we live. 276 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,920 That's what you're gonna do. 277 00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:30,223 So you know, whatever happened to the apartment building downtown? 278 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,492 They demolished it. Turned it into a parking lot. 279 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,995 But they let black people park there, so we consider that a win. 280 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:38,231 [Instrumental Music] 281 00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,167 I don't like what's goin' on with the kids, Lisa. 282 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,469 Well what can we do? They're growin' up. 283 00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,671 I don't like it. Make 'em young again. 284 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,507 I like when they like cartoons and ice cream. Things were simpler then. 285 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,643 And our son wasn't dating a woman our age. 286 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:54,281 She's not quiet our age, but I can definitely hear her biological clock 287 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,783 tickin' like a time bomb. 288 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,019 I think you're bein' a little hypocritical, Tony. 289 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,420 How so? 290 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:03,123 Okay. Imagine this was Ebony at college and she comes home with some 291 00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,758 grown-ass man. 292 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:07,727 I'd crack his skull and use it as an ash tray. 293 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,697 Exactly. And Ms. Candlelight is clearly 294 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,533 fillin' Devin's head with somethin'. And that better be all she's feeling. 295 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,968 [Audience laughter] 296 00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,970 Yeah, I don't think I like this new woke Devin. 297 00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:20,340 And Ebony is definitely learnin' that nonsense at school too. 298 00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:24,611 What if it's not nonsense. I mean we want our kids to get an education at school. 299 00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:27,815 And if what they learn contradicts what we taught them? 300 00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:30,183 Maybe we should be open to learning 301 00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,852 Or maybe the kids are wrong. 302 00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:34,287 True. They're usually wrong about everything. 303 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:37,557 So, should practice the tried and true parenting tactic of 304 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,892 letting things play out? 305 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,728 Ebony will eventually move on to a new hobby and 306 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,332 Devin's old-ass girlfriend will eventually break his heart, or her hip. 307 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,433 [Tony laughs] 308 00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,902 And we don't have to play the part of the villain. 309 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,170 Great parenting, Tony. 310 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,571 - Great parenting, Lisa. - Yeah. 311 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,540 And you don't have to blow Candle's lights out. 312 00:12:55,775 --> 00:13:00,713 [Instrumental Music] 313 00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:01,581 [Ebony] What do we want? 314 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,550 No chicken, pig, or cow. 315 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:04,551 When do we want it? 316 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:05,819 Right now! 317 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:08,021 What the hell is goin' on? And why do you look like a professor 318 00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:10,891 that teaches African American studies? 319 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:13,760 Well, we were inspired by your story about the sit-in 320 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,562 so we decided to have our own. 321 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:18,832 Okay, our sit-in was in the cold lobby of an apartment building. 322 00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:20,367 not our own, comfortable livin' room. 323 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,768 Hey, 324 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,837 work smarter, not harder. 325 00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:27,908 Alright, okay, we get it. What, what are your demands, huh? 326 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:32,245 Actually, my demand is all animal products, that includes dairy and eggs. 327 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,147 Does it include a leather belt? 328 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,516 Demand number 2: 329 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,119 And all microaggressions. 330 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:43,390 Okay will somebody for the love of God please tell me what a microaggression is? 331 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,725 It's a subtle action or communication 332 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:48,428 that is intentional or unintentional that is hostile 333 00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,898 or derogatory towards a marginalized group. 334 00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,299 [Audience laughter] 335 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,134 Look, I don't think I do that. 336 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:58,138 Ah, you just called our protest, little. 337 00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:01,208 Okay, you spoiled-ass kids are not a marginalized group 338 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:02,209 in this household. 339 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:05,078 Okay, calling us spoiled is a microaggression. 340 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:09,382 Okay Tony, let's just agree to no microaggressions, okay? Whatever that is. 341 00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:12,652 Fine, fine, whatever. I microdigress. 342 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,322 Demand number 3: 343 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,957 [Audience laughter] 344 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,226 Okay, I think we're done here. Let's go. 345 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,860 [Instrumental Music] 346 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:24,932 [Instrumental Music] 347 00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:27,935 You know, I wasn't really with this whole vegan thing at first. 348 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:30,570 But I mean I could get used to the kids cookin' for us. 349 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:33,273 Mm hm. Why did we resist it so much? 350 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:37,477 Coming up, meatless satay fried rice. 351 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,712 Ah that's right, no meat. 352 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,315 Come on. Try it. 353 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:47,955 [Audience laughter] 354 00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:51,191 Yum. 355 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,261 This is completely organic. Can you just 356 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,363 taste the nutrients? 357 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,331 Mm, I can taste the rice. 358 00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,100 I can taste the rice. 359 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:03,603 - [Ebony gasps] Dad, put the hot sauce down! 360 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,005 Sorry, I'm weak. 361 00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,941 Actually, hot sauce is fully vegan. 362 00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,343 Oah, I like Ms. Candlelight now. 363 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:11,878 Oh, well in that case, yeah. 364 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,280 Oah. 365 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:14,614 [Audience laughter] 366 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:18,118 So is now a good time to discuss the other ways we're going to 367 00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:19,852 eliminate animal consumption in our lives? 368 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:23,390 Other ways. I mean we cut out all animal products. 369 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:27,327 Well maybe eating, yes. But what about leather? 370 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,329 I hope you ain't talkin' about my leather seats in my car. 371 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,498 I worked hard for that car. I took you to school in that car. 372 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:34,867 And maybe you shouldn't be driving a car at all. 373 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,704 Maybe if we all stop killing animals and use 374 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:40,907 public transportation, the earth wouldn't be overheating. 375 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,010 I'm about to start to overheat. 376 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,713 Ah, I think that's a microaggression. 377 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:50,583 Ah ah Devin, isn't there something you wanted to 378 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,719 ask your mother about? 379 00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:56,889 Oh, yeah. Mom, have you heard about the patriarchy? 380 00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,358 Yes. 381 00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,328 You don't think you're oppressed by it? 382 00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:05,832 I mean you know, society could improve the treatment of women, but I feel alright. 383 00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,668 I don't know. It just seems to me that 384 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,504 Dad has forced you into the subservient role as 385 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,940 the housewife and mother. 386 00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,776 Okay, now how is that not a microaggression aimed at me? 387 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,412 Okay Devin, you know what? I love your father very much, 388 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:22,382 okay? Even if he is part of the patriarchy. 389 00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:25,885 Okay, I was just looking out for you, Mom. 390 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,354 [Giggling] 391 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:28,388 Hey. 392 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:29,722 Hi, y'all. 393 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:31,424 Oh, hi. I'm Aunt Vivian. 394 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:32,992 Oaah. 395 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:37,430 Ooh, your energy feels like mayonnaise. 396 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:40,500 [Audience laughter] 397 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,804 It's so wonderful to meet you. I am 398 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,206 Candlelight. 399 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:47,874 [Audience laughter] 400 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:52,045 Okay um, I don't want to blow out your flame, but Candlelight's not a name. 401 00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:53,980 But it's nice to meet you anyway. 402 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,550 Alright. To make up for the delicious lasagna you made me, Lisa, 403 00:16:57,584 --> 00:17:00,887 I decided to bake you all one as well. Ah ha hah! 404 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,289 [Audience laughter] 405 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,391 [Audience laughter] 406 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:05,925 What's wrong? 407 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,795 That right there looks like meat to meat, Aunt Vivian. 408 00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:10,830 Ah and cheese. 409 00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,333 Well of course it is. That's how you make a lasagna. 410 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,835 Yeah, the kids have turned this into a vegan household, Viv. 411 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,937 Oah. Oh, jeez. 412 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,406 Okay, I didn't know that. 413 00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,240 [Foil crinkling] 414 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,942 It's alright. Take it to the trash. 415 00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,345 Oh no, no, no. I'll just, I'll just I'll just take [Overlapping dialogue] 416 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,348 - It's in the trash, Aunt Viv. - The trash, Aunt Viv! 417 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:31,351 Why are you clapping at me, Candlelight? 418 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,486 [Audience laughter] 419 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:34,921 You want me to put this in the trash? 420 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,657 - I'll put this in the trash. Alright. - Put it in the trash. 421 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,327 [Instrumental Music] 422 00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:41,994 Mm hm. 423 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:44,597 Ah, what is this, another sit-in? 424 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:47,267 No. I was up all night. Couldn't sleep. 425 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,201 Mmm. 426 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:49,536 What's wrong, baby? 427 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,003 Me and Candlelight broke up. 428 00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:53,473 Oh, thank God! [Laughter] 429 00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,442 Oh no, God. 430 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:56,776 [Audience laughter] 431 00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,812 What happened, son? Things seemed to be going well last night. 432 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,115 After dinner, me and her went to the movies. 433 00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:04,984 Oah, couldn't smuggle in your hay burgers? 434 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,954 Did you get embarrassed because she got the senior citizen discount? 435 00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,122 [Audience laughter] 436 00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:10,823 Not funny. 437 00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,960 We ran into some guys she knew. 438 00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,796 Oh, was it embarrassin' bein' seen datin' a TA? 439 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,965 No, he was her new man. 440 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:21,634 - Mm. - And when I say new man, I mean 441 00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:23,536 grown-ass man. 442 00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:27,006 Full beard, mortgage, and a 750 credit score. 443 00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:30,343 I almost asked him for some advice, and a job! 444 00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,345 White dude, huh? 445 00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:34,881 Apparently she didn't believe in being exclusive. 446 00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:37,750 She said it was oppressive and patriarchal of me to think 447 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,486 that she couldn't be with other guys. 448 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,421 Ah well...it's her loss, baby. 449 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,256 Yeah, good riddance. 450 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:47,360 I was tryin' to be woke, but I guess I was sleep the whole time. 451 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,697 It was very insightful honey, I think. 452 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,400 Yeah, son. You should always just remember that 453 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,936 Wait a minute. What's that smell? 454 00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,671 I don't smell anything. 455 00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,840 I'd know that smell anywhere. 456 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,542 [Audience laughter] 457 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,344 A breakfast burrito! 458 00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,845 This isn't what it looks like, 459 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,547 It looks like you made us all go vegan. 460 00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:10,250 and then you went out and got you a breakfast burrito from a food truck. 461 00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:12,652 Okay, this is exactly what it looks like. 462 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,055 Baby, why? You're like the slave that turned back after you 463 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,590 suggested we leave. 464 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,292 [Audience laughter] 465 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,793 Okay, mom. I was wrong. 466 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,562 Meat and meat products are delicious. 467 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,364 I miss them. I'm weak. 468 00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:27,267 You know I would gloat, but I'm so happy that this vegan kick 469 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,868 is over. I'm makin' bacon. 470 00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:31,838 [Laughter] Devin, bacon! 471 00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,374 We can eat meat again? 472 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:37,810 Wait! Maybe we should do 1 or 2 meatless dishes a week. 473 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,212 That's alright. 474 00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:43,250 Ah does this mean ah I can pull Aunt Viv's lasagna out the trash? 475 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,385 Boy, I been done ate that, knock it off. The pan. 476 00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:46,853 [Music sting] 477 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,656 [Instrumental Music] 478 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,592 You don't have to drop the class just because you two broke up. 479 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,061 It would be too distracting. 480 00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:58,064 Yeah, I wouldn't want to go to a class where my ex was teachin'. 481 00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:00,132 It wouldn't be for me. It would be for her. 482 00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,435 She would be thinkin' about what she's missin' out on. 483 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:05,638 [Chuckles] I know that's right. You a real Stallworth man. 484 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,608 Hey. Okay, check this out. I made you all 485 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:12,412 a meatless, cheese-less lasagna, completely vegan. 486 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:15,282 Yeah. Viv, sorry. We're off that vegan kick. 487 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:18,285 Oh. Oh thank God. It tasted disgusting. 488 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,320 Probably cause of that white people seasoning. 489 00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:21,454 - What? - Think. 490 00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:22,622 Nothin'. 491 00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:24,957 You've got a problem with my low sodium seasoning? 492 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,092 [Audience laughter] 493 00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,294 [Mumbling] No, no. 494 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,628 - Huh? - No, no, no. 495 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,563 [Instrumental Music] 38332

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