All language subtitles for Family.Time.S07E04.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

[Instrumental Music]

Ooh, hey. What you got there?

Mmm. I stopped by Quizways and
got my favorite sandwich on the
planet,

turkey and salami.

Ooh, that sounds good.

Oh yes it is. I'm about to tear
this bad boy up.

I'm so hungry, my stomach is
nawin' on my backbone.

Mm mm mm hm. Thank you, babes.

Woa woa woa woa, that's not for
you.

Lisa, I called you on the way
home and asked if you were
hungry and you said, no.

Well yeah, that's before I knew
you were goin' to Quizways.

Listen, you know I love their
sandwiches.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah. But still.
Come on, now.

What, Tone? You just need to
learn how to share.

And you need to learn to tell
people you hungry.

Tony just, you can go back and
get another one, jeesh.

Lisa you always do this. I order
just enough food for me,

and you wind up eatin' half my
food.

I do not.

You do! And I can prove it.

Oh how you gonna do that?

Oh.

- Oh you think you so smart,
huh?
- Yeah, a little bit.

- You don't want to share
anything in this house?
- Buh.

Well I got some butter pecan ice
cream in the freezer,

and you can't have any.

That's old people ice cream. I
don't want that.

Well, you better not be usin' my
my shower wash to

- ...exfoliate.
- Okay now now now that is not,

that is not nice cause you know
I love to exfoliate.

Use some on your feet cause your
feet be cuttin' and scratchin'
harder than a

DJ in the 80's.

[Theme Music]

* Woke up and my wife said
to me *

* The bill collectors want
their fees *

* The kids keep talkin' back
to me *

* Family Time

* Family Time. Family Time

* Family Time. Waa aah woa oah
oah oah yeah *

[Instrumental Music]

Hey, what's up, Brandy?

You seen Tony? I'm tryin' to
borrow 20 dollars.

Hey Donnie, and Mr. Stallworth

got the day off.

[Scoffs] Must be nice runnin'
your own business. You can just
come and go whenever you want.

Yeah. Comin' from the guy that
looks at the orange juice carton

for 20 minutes because it says,
concentrate.

[Audience laughter]

[Phone vibrates]

Hell, no!

I can't believe this.

What's the matter?

This don't mean we friends,
okay?

But this new guy I was datin'
just dumped me

over text.

Well, breakin' up over text is
the easiest way to break up.

Also the easiest way to make
sure your stuff don't get broke
up.

[Cracking]
[Grunting]

[Audience laughter]

And that's why he sent the text.

Right. And that's why he gonna
get blocked. Welcome to the
block party.

He must be crazy to break up
witchu?

[Audience laughter]

That's what I'm sayin'. He must
be crazy.

You know Donnie, I'm just sick
and tired

of these crazy men.

You know what I'm a do? I know
what I'm a do.

I'm a call up my cousin,
Fri'chikenisha,

oh cause I gots a pass, and I'm
a give him

some of this two piece. That's
right. He gonna mess with me.

You don't mess with Brandy.

Fri'chikenisha?

Does it come with a biscuit, so
you can sop that ass up?

[Audience laughter]

Donnie, I don't have the time or
the crayons to explain this to
you, okay?

[Audience laughter]

I just don't know what the
problem is?

Oh that's easy. The problem is
you.

And what's that supposed to
mean, Donnie, huh?

Say it with your chest. What's
that supposed to mean?

It it just, I it just means

that I think you should keep
your eyes open for the signs.

Now if you back it up, I could
easily find you a date.

[Audience laughter]

Okay.

- Ooh.
- Hooh!

Why don't you got a girlfriend?

Man, you are too small to be
that strong.

I...

don't know what women do to get
men. I just know what men do to
get women.

And I don't have a girlfriend
because I don't know

- ...how y'all operate.
- Hmm.

Well that's easy.

Okay well...if it's so easy,

I'll be you that I could help
you find a date and y'all would
have an amazin' time.

Hmm. I like this Donnie. And I
bet you that I will help you

find a date and you will have an
amazin' time.

So how do you want to do this?

So glad you asked, Brandy.

I just downloaded an app called
Boo'd Up,

and I know I could find your
perfect match.

Okay so, what are we gonna bet
on?

Hmm.

I bet you...that if I win,

- you gotta give me 20 dollars I
was gonna borrow from Tony.
- Mm hm.

Hmm. And I bet,

if I win, you have to be my
personal assistant for a day.

Yeah.

[Instrumental Music]

Y'oh, my God! Donnie, is that
you?

What is wrong wit your face,
woman? It looks like

you got into a fight with
the ugly stick.

Tony, I wish you would take a
nice, long, hot bath

with a blow dryer.

What's goin' on, Rachel?

I have a big date tonight

with sexy Sophia.

You mean psycho Sofia?

Isn't she the same one who said
she eats

soap because she has dirty
thoughts?

Sho is.

- She just broke up with Dirty
Diana and I--
- Ah, let me guess.

She left her to go on tour to
become some band groupie.

Nah nah. Dirty Diana don't be
washin' them armpits.

Sophia got tired of everybody
thinkin' it was her that was
stinkin'.

Oh yeah. That'll do it.

I wanna borrow your big pot
cause I'm gonna make some gumbo
for Sophia

from this recipe I found online.

Oh yeah, no problem.

Mm, then when the water gets
nice and hot, why don't you just
hop in it.

[Audience laughter]

And why don't you jump into
traffic

and then run head first.

You two are too much!

- Here.
- Thanks, I'll bring it back
later.

Thank you.

Yeah, no need to bring it
back.

- You're probably due for a
new trough.
- Oh.

[Horse neighing sound]

Ooh, you got a lot of fight in
you this mornin', Mohammad all
you can eat.

[Audience laughter]

- I'm just sayin'
- That's just too much.

[Knocking]

She back already? She must have
thought we was playin' fetch.

Huh, what's up, Wiggy Smalls?

Now Tony, you now I don't sew
it. I grow it, but thank you for
the compliment.

Okay, well what do you want? I'm
tryin' to have a nice

lazy day with my wife.

Okay, let's be nice.

No, no, no. It's okay, Lisa. Big
Tony's just teasing.

Okay, now I know you want
somethin'. Spit it out.

Actually I did sign you two up
for my

favorite reality show, In Loving
Color. And after submitting you
for a while,

selected.

Okay, what kind of show is it?

Are you kidding me? Okay, each
showcases

the power of black love,

add what it takes to have a
successful marriage.

Yeah, yeah. I've heard about it.
It's getting a lot of views,
right?

Yes, yes. And you know what?
Honestly, since my divorce,

I strive to have a relationship
as beautiful as this right here.

Okay, now I don't think I want
our relationship all out there
like we some reality stars.

But Tony, you have to share your
love with the world. It's a
responsibility.

Yeah, you know she's right. It
could be an opportunity to set a
good example, you know,

for other couples that might be
struggling in their
relationship.

Exactly. Exactly. I mean you two
are a perfect couple. You're
basically like

Barak and Michelle.

I have been known to look rather
presidential.

Alright so, so what do we have
to do?

Practically nothing, Tony. I
mean, they're gonna interview
you sitting on your couch with a

small crew. In and out before
you know it. Come on, say yes.

- What do you say? Say yes.
- [Lisa] Let's do it, Tony.

- Alright, let's do it.
- [Cheryl] Yes!

- Oh, yay!
- So when do they want to
interview us?

- Oh right now...Mm hm.
- Right now?

Come on in, guys!

- Come on in?
- You know what? They're
probably hungry.

- And hot. It's 100 degrees out
there.
- Yeah, mm hm.

Mm hm. Don't worry. This is what
we'll do.

Cheryl.

[Tony] That's how you feel?

You look terrible, honey. You
should go get dressed.

[Music sting]

[Instrumental Music]

Okay, just press that button
right there.

- Okay.
- That's it.

Now, what do you think about
her?

- Uh.
- She's cute.

- Look at that head. I bet when
she was in school she was
- What?

a head
of her class.

- I bet she's heading for
trouble.
- Oh okay, you bein' funny.

Alright so look, what about her?

Ah, look at that nose.

I be she knows when you sleepin'
and knows when you awake.

Okay Donnie, you ain't that cute
to be that picky.

Okay, well let's take a look
through your phone then.

Okay, cool.

Um...

mm. What about this guy?

Oh, no. Is that a grill?

Donnie, it looks like he's been
chewin' aluminum foil.

Okay, ah no, no

ah, how about him?

Ehhhm, from a scale of 1 to 10.

that's a no.

Keep lookin'.

- No, no.
- Huh mm.

Hell, nah!

That is a negative.

- Ooh, I got it!
- I got it!

Ooh, let me see.

Okay, okay. Now before we do
this,

I say to ensure that we've
picked the perfect match for
each other,

we go on a double date, so that
way you can coach me and I can
coach you.

But, wouldn't it be weird,
though?

No, we can just say we cousins.

Okay.

Let's do it. Heh!

Man, last time I saw a girl this
fine, she had 3 personalities
and none of them like me.

[Instrumental Music]

I'm so glad you two agreed to do
the show.

- Well, thank you so much for
having us.
- Oh it is a pleasure.

So we're gonna try something
new, and we're gonna go live on
our social media

platforms with this interview.
Are you okay with that?

Oh yeah we are, they are so good
with that.

That's great.
[Audience laughter]

Are we ready to get started?

[Tony] Sure.

Okay, let's do this, guys.

In 3, 2...

What's up, everybody. Thanks for
joining us here on our live
stream.

This week we are interviewing
Tony and Lisa Stallworth.

Their love is what brought us
here today.

Say hello to our 200,000 viewers
watching right now.

- Hi, everybody.
- What's up?

Hello. Hi, I'm Cheryl. I'm the
neighbor.

I'm single, and I'm a Capricorn.

And I love walks on the beach
because who doesn't?

Listen up, this is not a dating
show, Cheryl.'

[Cheryl mumbling]

[Audience laughter]

Okay, a let's get to our first
question, shall we?

How did you guys meet?

Oh, we were high school
sweethearts.

Mm, yes. I was on the football
team, and Lisa was on the
cheerleading squad.

Let's just say, I like the way
she shaked her pom-poms.

[Laughter]

Ask 'em if they made out under
the bleachers.

- That's not all we did under
the bleachers.
- Tony!

- Well she asked.
- No, just stop.

Well so Tony, how did you know
she was the one for you?

I knew when I scored the winning
touchdown and won state.

Oh well actually, you know they
hit Tony so hard

that he knocked out.

And I was like, whew! But
luckily, one of the other
players

they caught him right before he
hit the ground and then they
carried him

in for the touchdown!

- But I still scored. I still, I
still scored.
- You did.

And then I scored again, because
when I came to,

I reached into my gym bag,
pulled out a promise ring.

It smelled like you know, sweaty
football socks.

Oh, that's beautiful.

What would you say keeps you two
together?

Ooh, I would say trust and
communication.

Mm hm. And and even though we've
been married for a long time,

a being able to maintain our own
independence helps, you know.

Not to mention havin' your own
bank account. You know what I'm
talkin' about?

You know what I'm talkin' about.

[Awkward laughter]

You have your own account, Tony?

Come on, baby. Not in front of
200,000 people. Now knock it
off.

And besides, we talked about
this. Remember?

- No, we did not,Tony.
- Nope. You definitely didn't. I
would remember that.

- We didn't talk about it.
- No, no. We really did.

Okay, let's just move on to

- the next one.
- You know most of the couples
we interview say...

if you don't have communication
and trust,

it's really hard to love
someone.

Yes. We we, we know that.

I'm just I'm just saying, you
could be more open, Tony.

Okay, Iyanla Van-can't! Ah, I
don't need you to fix my life,
alright.

Can we just a move on to the
next question, please?

- Can we get--
- Wow, okay. What would you say
is your worst argument?

And how did you get over it?

I would say it was when I found
out Tony had a

side bank account

that he never told me about.

- [Angry laughter]
- Come on, baby.

We got over this. We talked we
talked about this--

- No we didn't, Tony!
- No, no nope. That was never
discussed.

Yes it was discussed, actually.

[Tony] Ah, what else--

You know what? Why don't you
take your little secret money
from your secret account,

and spend the night with it on
the couch!

- By yourself. How about that,
Tone.
- Ooh, and then you can spend

the night with the man in the
mirror

too, Michael Jackass!

- I thought, I thought we got
over this.
- No, we did not, Tony!

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

So then my manager says, do you
think I'm stupid, me and you?

And I was like everybody know
that you don't hire stupid
people.

[Laughter]

Exactly.

Ah, yeah. So, Brandy...

- Yes.
- What do you like to do in your
free time?

Oh I am so glad you asked. I am
actually a big

gamer. You see I'm actually a
level forty master chief

in Halo Killer 3000.

- Are you serious? I didn't know
you played...
- I am so serious.

Then what's your gamer tag?

Brown Sugar 89. You never seen
me on there?

- Oah.
- What? That is crazy.

That sounds very a sedentary.

[Phone vibrating]

Oh. Well really, I don't really
play those type of games
anymore.

It's silly. A actually if I had
a man,

I would be working out and
cooking for him.

Oh, I hear that.

Ah ooh wuh, what do you do?

Oh, I'm a track coach at the
local university.

I used to run track in college.

- Really? Which event?
- Yes.

I was a heptathlete.

What?! Were you born like that?

[Audience laughter]

Anyway, what about you? What do
you do, Donnie?

Well I love binge watchin' Power
Rangers. You know I feel like

Black Ranger was very
underrated. I mean
[Phone dings]

I mean I love long walks on the
beach.

um I love payin' women's bills.

And I wanna hear you complain
about everybody you work with.

Yeah. Eh what what about you?
What do you do?

I'm a stunt woman.

- Wow, so you're pretty active,
huh?
- Wow.

And hey, if you ever need
somebody to work out with,

- I'm your guy.
- She won't. She won't.
- Okay.

Just give me a call.

- We should link up.
- She won't.
- Okay.

- [Clears throat] Um excuse.
Hey!
- Hey.

Yeah, so what do you plan on
orderin'? Let's look at the
menu.

- That's what we need to do.
- Oh I'm a order the steak
because you know I like to do

all you know, meat-based diet
and stuff.

- Right.
- You know I I think I'm gonna
order the lobster

[Donnie clears throat]

[Audience laughter]

bisque, lobster bisque. You know
cause I'm very active

I'm active too. I'm active.

What do you suggest, Donnie?

[Phone vibrates]
Oh I suggest that you smell like
fish.

Excuse me?

- Ah,
- Really? Could you come with me
to the bar...

to get somethin' to drink,
please?

You know what? I am very
thirsty right now.

- That would be
great.
- Yeah, me too.

Mm hm. Y'all just stay your
little cute self right here.

Don't go nowhere. Mm hm.

Stay separate.

Come on over here, Donnie. Yeah,
come. [Clears throat]

- Let me get a red wine, please.
- Oh yeah, coming right up.

Donnie, what was you thinkin'?

I said order her a fish, not
tell her she smell like fish.

I was wonderin' why you sent
that. Must have been a damn auto
correct.

Donnie, listen. Women like
romance.

You know, we like that love type
of romance.

Well listen, you can't be so
open, okay.

You gotta have a little bit of
mystery to you. Men love
mystery. It drives us crazy.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Clears throat] Excuse me.

Ah, one of y'all gonna pay for
this drink?

Oh he gonna pay for it. He know
I don't buy drink.

[Laughs] Ah one second there,
brotha.

- [Bartender] Okay.
- Why are you dealin' with him
anyway?

- If I was him, I would just let
you be you.
- Right.

That's exactly what I'm sayin'.
I need somebody to let me be me,
Donnie.

Ah, look like y'all dates is
leavin' with each other.

[Chair scrapes]
Oh hell, no.

Damn, you should never trust a
light-skinned brotha with a
salmon shirt on.

[Audience laughter]

Ah excuse me a, Ms. Janelle
NoMo-nae,

I'm gonna need either you or
Questlove-handles here to pay
for this drink.

Ah...excuse me, Skinny Kravitz.

Well look, hey a Brandy, you got
it.

[Audience laughter]

- He want money. I don't use
currency.
- Ah yeh yeh yah!

I got it.

How's that Go ahead. Take that.

Thank you, ma'am.

[Sighs] Look...dang. That

now how my gonna get home? I
guess I gotta call me a Goober
cause

he was my ride.

Oh don't worry about that, girl.
I'll give you a ride.

And, you ain't even gotta leave
me a tip.

- Well sure. Why we still here?
Let's go.
- Let's go, then.

Thanks for the drink,
malnourished Will Smith.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

Hey, baby. Please tell me that
dinner is ready.

I'm so hungry, I could eat my
elbows.

[Sighs] Lisa, how long are we
gonna keep doin' this?

I said I was sorry.

Why did you even have another
account, Tony?

It was an emergency account. You
know a just in case account.

Just in case what?

Just in case we wanted to go on
vacation.

Now what you mean is just in
case you wanted to do your own
thing.

Look, I got rid of the account
years ago.

I never want to do my own thing,
baby.

I share everything with you and
that's all I ever want to do.

Oh I'm sorry. Did I just roll my
eyes out loud?

I don't like bein' left in the
dark, Tony.

Hey, you act like I'm never left
in the dark.

What are you talkin' about?

I seem to remember finding 3
Nada bags in the trunk.

Now did I give you a hard time
about those?

Now Tony, that was nada your
business.

Lisa, Lisa...

listen. I never wanna leave you
in the dark, ever.

No talk show can show me how to
love you.

And when I said those vows, I
meant them.

Love you too, Tony.

Well bring it in then.

[Knocking]

[Chuckling] Oh, damn.

I didn't know that gators snuck
out the swamp this late.

The only thing with scales
around here is you, Broadzilla.

- Here, Lisa.
- Thank you.

How'd your date go?

Mm, we argued the whole night.

Not good then, huh?

No actually it was great, cause
we made up for it in the
bedroom.

Oh, you two are like fire and
ice, huh?

Speakin' of fire and ice, I saw
your

live-stream interview. Is
everything okay?

Yes, everything is fine. And I
would appreciate it

that if any--
[Knocking]

[Sighs]

Oh good, Tony.

Uh you are never gonna guess.
Your livestream was the most

viewed yet. 500,000 viewers.

Does that mean I'm a get a
check?

- Oh you mean are we gonna get a
check for that?
- Yes, of course I mean we.

- Of course.
- Your episode was amazing.

"In Loving Color" wants to do a
follow up.

We'll call it, "Where are they
now?"

- It would be amazing, right?
- Wait wait, hold that thought.
Hold that thought.

Because I was thinkin' maybe
we could shoot it

- out here on
the porch.
- - So..

- Right. Now, now, now do this.
- All we need to do--
- Yeah.

- Now if you walk, but you gotta
step back a little bit.
- Come up with a time.

Cause this is my vision. I was
walk--

[Audience laughter]

Ah, don't you think it's time
you shaved those chin hairs

and take off like a rocket, Jane
Fonda?

Speakin' of basketball, I think
your breath is a flagrant foul.

- Okay, that's enough.
- [Tony] ???

Alright. It's fine. I'm a get
outa here, see if I can catch up
with that camera crew.

See if they want to do a story
on lesbian love.

Ooh, I can call it, Les-be in
love,

like they get like let's be in
love, lesbian--

ooh oah ???

[Laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

[Donnie laughs] And that's what
I told him about he milk and the
breakfast.

Look, thanks for drivin' me,
Donnie.

Look at that. These daggone keys
right here the whole time.

Oh yeah.

- Wow.
- Hey a unfortunately, I'm still
gonna have to charge you though.

You know, business is business.

Donnie, you know I know all
about business. It's okay.

Just put it on my tab, like I
did that drink for you. Mm hm.

Well played. Ah but yeah, it's
the least I could do,

especially after corny-ass
Bashir had the audacity

to leave you stranded and leave
with my girl.

Exactly. That's what I said. Now
look at us,

we right back here where we
started.

Well wouldn't say that. You
know, I got a chance to find out
you're an avid gamer.

You love lobster...

bisque and a, you're a very
beautiful girl.

Well Dog Dutch McDonald,

if I din't know any better, I'd
say you was flirting with me.

[Laughter] Believe me baby girl,
if I was flirtin' witchu,

you'd know it!

Okay, Donnie. Don't mess around
and get pregnant.

[Chuckling] I'm on birth
control.

Wooh! Just like I like 'em.

I might as well help you clean
up around here because ah I
guess we

both kinda lost the bet.

You know um...the last guy that
looked at me like that,

paid my rent for 6 months.

Well I live in my car, so you
can live there with me

but a we just gotta let the seat
back.

[Music sting]

[Instrumental Music]

Donnie...Donald!

Wha wha what's up? What's up?

What's up wit you, man? You're
not even watchin' the game.

Aw yeah, it's this datin' app,
man.

I'm finally startin' to realize
they don't really

allow a person to showcase their
full personality on here, man.

It's like we headed towards a
world where you can't even put
your phone in your

back pocket and make a booty
call anymore.

Yeah, this comin' from a guy who
kept takin' antibiotics cause he
thought

his computer gave him a virus.

Hey man, my mouse is still a
rodent and rodents

carry disease.

[Audience laughter]

Now don't hurt yourself. But you
know you are onto somethin'.

The game has changed a little.

Now I'm just glad that I'm
happily married and I gotta go
through none of that.

Tssh, you lucky to be out the
game, man.

Cause if you was back in the
game, you couldn't get nobody
new.

Knock it off. I still got game.

Oh is that right, Tony?

Hah! Hey, babe. Okay, it sounds
like the game,

the game is on. Can't you see?

- [Lisa] Mm hm.
- The game. And um...

later we're gonna watch boxin'
on pay per view.

- Mm.
- Listen, I got it all down
here.

Yeah.

Don't we need some paper if we
gonna watch pay per view?

What is he even sayin', Tony?
[Audience laughter]

Don't even pay no attention,
baby. He he thinks we need
batteries

in order to watch "Power."

Do you know how many walls I had
to strip to watch "The Wire?"

[Instrumental Music]