All language subtitles for Family.Time.S06E06.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

[Instrumental Music]

Huh. You know, at first it was
pretty hard letting go of Devin.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Wait, who's Devin again?

- Shut up.
- Devin, Devin, Devin.

Oh you mean that little moocher
that used to live here?

Oh he still lives here but

with him away at college and
Ebony off with her friends...

- for the weekend.
- Ebony, Ebony, hm.

Stop it, Tony.

I'm serious, Lisa. We have the
house to ourselves

for a much needed adults-only
weekend.

I don't want to hear the words
Devin, Ebony, Essence or Jet
again.

Heh, yeah it is nice having one

weekend without the kids.

Hell yeah it is.

And you know what I'm most
excited about?

That we can do anything we want
in any room we want?

Nope.

That we can be as loud as we
want?

- Nope.
- Okay, then what?

How much money we gonna save.

Ooh, forget a vacation. I'm all
about the staycation.

[Laughter]
- Tony!
- What?

I'm over here tryin' to be all
romantic and

flirty, and you just over here
thinkin about money.

It's called multi-tasking, Lisa.

Saving money gets me excited.

Mm, I'm kinda worried that our
romantic life is a bit stale
lately.

- Yeah because of the kids.
- You sure?

Because I've read that this
happens in long-term
relationships.

But one way to spice it up would

- be to
- Put a pole up?

Hell, no.

Come on, Lisa. I got a jar full
of pennies. I can make it hail.

And I can create a drought.

[Audience laughter]

Never mind. I'll take a rain
check.

I was going to suggest a little
role-playing.

Oh okay, okay. Let's start
tonight.

Okay, I will be the handsome,
strapping husband

and you can be the desperate
housewife that just happens to
have

a couple kids out of town for
the weekend.

Ooh I'm not mad at that.

- Mm hm. Mmm.
- Mm mm hm hm hm.

[Yawning]

Cause you know, you know we have
the whole weekend to, to
role-play.

Yeah. Yeah let's just get some
rest.

Save our energy up for tomorrow
cause I'm a wear you out, okay?

[Laughter]

I will.

A you know what? I'm gonna be
pretty good at the actin' thing

cause back in the day I go
offered to be a stand-in

for Cuba Gooding Jr.

In which movie,

Radio?

[Audience laughter]
- Alright, that's not funny.

I like the french fries.

[Theme Music]

♪ Woke up and my wife
said to me ♪

♪ The bill collectors want
their fees ♪

♪ The kids keep talkin'
back to me ♪

♪ Family Time

♪ Family Time
♪ Family Time

♪ Family Time

♪ Oah ho ho hoa yeah

[Instrumental Music]

Cabana boy,

Cabana boy, where are you?

Si, Señora Stallworth.

Ooh Tony, look at you lookin'
all cute in your little shorts

and your cabana
boy shirt.

Ah ah ah, not Tony.

Me llamo es
Antonio.

Oh okay. Well
Antonio,

my glass is empty and
I'm a little parched.

More champagne
please.

[Latin accent] I shall
pour you another
pronto.

And when you're done I'm going
to need something that's

not on the menu.

Mm. How about a spicy
Quesa-Lisa

covered in a tasty Tony-viche?

[Audience laughter]
Oh, well okay.

Ew ah ah wait a a I just got
this job.

I ain't tryin' to
lose my benefits.

Tony!

Oh, role-playing. Right, I'm
sorry.

[Clears throat]

- Okay, eh I'm a little hot
- Mm.

- and bothered.
- Oah.

Well let me cool you off,
Señora.

Aaah, perfect.

And when you're done maybe you
can help me put on some
sunscreen

so I can skinny dip.

Well hell to the yeah.

I mean a

[Latin accent] It would be my
pleasure.

Now I know I may lose my job
for this but

[Tony's normal voice] why don't
you pop that top off

so we can get this thing
crackin'?

Thought you'd never ask.
[Tony smirking]

Ooh, hello hello.

I hope I'm not interrupting.

As a matter of fact you are.

Tony I thought I told you to put
a lock on the gate.

I told Antonio to do it. He got
distracted.

[Audience laughter]

I can't tell when you're joking.

Should I go? Am I interrupting?

You're already here. Now what
you want, blocker?

This is so important. Have you
heard what's been going on?

What? Annoying neighbors barging
in the backyard without being
invited?

[Audience laughter]

That happened to you too?

The Johnsons,

so intrusive. No manners, right.
Anyhoo,

have you heard about the
neighborhood break-ins?

No. What exactly is going on?

There have been neighborhood
break-ins?

Here.

That's it?

- Uh.
- You coulda sent that in a
text.

No, this is important. I knew I
needed to come in person.

Okay, well thank you for the
information light-bright,

now make like Michael Jackson
and beat it.

[Audience laughter]

Oh pop culture reference. I got
you. Right back at you.

I do more of a Sade shimmy mind
you. Oh,

look out for that smooth
criminal.

[Audience laughter]

Can I get um one mimosa before I

Get on, kick rocks!

[Audience laughter]
Fair enough.

Now, where were we? Oh yes, how
could I forget.

Yeah. Just make sure Antonio
puts a lock on the gate first.

Pronto.

[Instrumental Music]

Doctor, you wanted to see me?

Ooh hm.

Yes a a I'm glad that you came
into my office

because I wanted to discuss your
promotion to headnurse.

[Audience laughter]

Do you accept?

Well only if you allow me to
take your temperature first?

Oah, how about I take your
temperature with my
mouth-ometer?

Followed by some physical
therapy.

Ooh, we work together, doctor.
That is so inappropriate.

Not in the Stallworth hospital.

[Giggling]

- Hellooo.
- Hellooo.

[In unison]
Hello!

Oh, no!

What the hell?

My sentiments exactly. What the
hell are you doing?

Tony and I were just you know,

Bein' grown.

Now what the hell y'all want,
Princess frog and Hellboy?

[Audience laughter]

Very funny, Grey's Afatomy.

[Audience laughter]

Now what you two scarecrows
want?

We want to know why you are
dressed like a doctor?

Yeah, cause you can't even spell
MD.

And I hope you don't think you
gonna get your big head in our
picture?

[In unison]
What picture?

For our parents' anniversary, we
decided to recreate a picture

from our childhood Halloween.

I text you about this, Lisa.

Wait, wait, wait, aren't your
baby pictures scary enough?

[Laughter]

Alright, I would hit you with a
comeback but it looks like

your mirror already got the last
laugh.

[Laughter]

Look guys, we were so cute,
Tony.

I was a little princess

Rachel was the devil,

and my baby sister was aw
slightly less-sexy nurse.

I was?

I was!

Yes I was and that is the only
reason I'm dressed like

this right now.

Right? Okay Tony, why are you
dressed like a doctor?

- Mm hm.
- I'm actually dressed like a
veterinarian cause I knew

that you two Great Danes was
comin' over.

[Dog barking sounds]

- You know what?
- Whatever.

Just take the picture Dr.
Stankenstein.

[Audience laughter]

- Where, Lori?
- A what what?
- Alright. Alright.

- What am I doing?
- You were on the left.

- Show me your face.
- Yes, like this.
- Alright.

- Okay, wait a minute. Let me
fix my
- Smile.

- Alright, pick up your paws.
- Wait a minute. Let me...

- I don't wanna, wait! Don't oh
- Mm hm.

- Bark one time.
- But wait- [Sighs]

[Barking sounds]
Why do you put up with him?
- Alright.

- Tony.
- That's enough.
- No, no, no, wait.

I had a couple more poses
planned.

I was thinkin' somethin'
jailhouse. You know how
[Sighs]

What's up for later? You guys
wanna watch a movie?

Ooh a you know Tony and I, we
planned a romantic weekend and
y'all are just

intruding.

Exaaactly.

Oh! I get it!

Y'all bein' freaky. That's why
you got on a sexy nurse's outfit
and you just

you dressed like Dr. Seuss.

Somethin' like that.

- Yep.
- Ugh, that's nasty. Y'all got
kids.

That's how we got kids in the
first place.

Now if y'all excuse us, I have a
patient that needs an injection.

[Gasps] Lisa?

See ya.

- Uuh.
- Bye bye now.

Like spoiled ketchup and mustard
bottles.

Tony, this whole role-playin'
thing is not workin'.

Too many distractions.

No no no.
No more distractions.

Now a let me go ahead and put
you down on this operation
table.

Oh okay good doctor.

Would you like me to disrobe?

No, why don't you just put on
one of those sexy robes and
leave it untied?

[Giggling]
You're so
[Doorbell rings]

Huh dammit, Tony.

Wait you know what, that is just
the food.

I will tell the driver to kick
rocks.

Look,

Anybody order Goober Eats?

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

- Mm mm.
- Good huh?

- Mm mm.
- Did you try this?

- I hear the...Are you
finished!?
- I didn't try.

[Audience laughter]

[Belches]

I guess I am now.

Uh, y'all ain't wanna eat
nothin'? What are y'all fastin'?

If we were fastin', we wouldn't
of ordered food you

[Stammering] Lisa, Lisa, don't.
He,he don't know no better.

Oah.
[Stammering] Lisa, Lisa, don't.
He,he don't know no better.

Oah.

One thing I do know is this
Goober Eats business is a lot
harder than just Goober drivin'.

They expect me to ride around,
rush and pick up food and
deliver it?

Then they get mad if the food is
half eaten or cold.

Okay, well maybe you shouldn't
eat other people's food, Donnie.

Maybe they shouldn't a ordered
all my favorites, Lisa.

[Audience laughter]

Think I'm supposed to just drive
around smellin' all this
deliciousness

and not want a couple bites and
steal some for us?

Pssht, I got low blood sugar.

[Audience laughter]

Question,

why are y'all two dressed up
like a doctor and a nurse?

- Aaaah,
- Oah easy, easy.

- Um, you wanna take this one?
- No, no. you got it.

- You? Me?
- You got it.

- Oh yeah look, check
it out.
- That's all you. Ha ha.

Um, you never know when an
emergency might arise so we just

like to stay prepared. [Smirks]

- Makes perfect sense to me.
- It does?

Yeah, I dress up like a cop
sometimes myself.

I'm afraid to ask why.

I'm not afraid to tell you. You
be surprised at what people will
do to

get out of a ticket. [Laughter]

Roger 10 4, we got a 9 11 in
progress.

6'5" by the 616. We got a
light-skinned red bone and a
dark-skinned ninja.

[Audience laughter]

- Uh.
- You do know that's illegal,
right?

Impersonatin' an
officer.

Only if you get caught.

[Audience laughter]
Mm.

Donnie one day they will make a
movie about your life.

How to eat like a horse and act
like a jackass.

That is the dumbest thing I've
ever heard in my life.

Says the guy and his wife
impersonatin' a doctor and a
nurse. Pssht.

Y'all can barely afford health
insurance, let alone go to med
school.

Donnie...listen,

the real thing is look,

Lisa and I are tryin' to have an
adults-only weekend.

[Muttering] Yeah. You feel me?

I understand, man.
- My man.

You know adults need their alone
time.

- Sure enough.
- Yeah.
- So Tony, kick rocks.

- Look, I'm tryin' to tell...
- What, what's

He need to know.

How about I kick you in the
head?

Is this how you talk to all your
patients?

You have no bedside manner?

Yeah what I think Tony is tryin'
to say is we just

Hold tight.

I got another Goober Eats
delivery.

I guess I'm havin' ice cream.

[Audience laughter]

Be back later.

No no no no no no. Don't be
back.

Uh huh, don't order no more
food.

Lisa, I'm a come back for my
checkup.

Ooh ooh ooh, check this out.

- See oh yeah no, right there.
Right there yeah, that's good.
- Right.

[Audience laughter]

I'm sorry. Sorry.

[Instrumental Music]

Somebody call a plumber?

I did. My pipes are clogged.

Oh, nothin' a little auger
can't fix.

Now where's the problem at?

Underneath the sink, Mr.
Plumber.

Do you think you can fix it?

There ain't no problem I can't
fix cause I'm a do it in the
mix.

- Mmm uh hum
- [Laughter]

Now let's check this problem out
here.

[Toolbox drops]
Oh, might I suggest a belt, Mr.
Plumber?

Oh my fault. I, I was just
tryin' to keep it authentic.

[Giggling]

You must be awfully thirsty.
Would you like a drink?

No no no. I'm good.

Okay, I think I see the problem.

- We're gonna have to replace
the copper tubing.
- Okay.

Swap out the elbow drain and I
need to go outside and check out
your water distributor.

Okay Tony, can you drop it with
the technical lingo?

I know a lot about plumbing. I'm
just tryin' to keep it
authentic.

Let's just stick to the
role-playing, okay?

- I am a lonely housewife trying
to be seductive.
- Okay.

- Got it. Let's do this.
- Okay. Alright. A where you
going?

- Back to one.
- Let's just pick it up from
right here.

- Oh.
- Okay? Let me get back into
character.

[Clears throat]

Action!

- Oh sexy, hot plumber,
- Hm.

- You've been working so hard.
You're all sweaty and tired.
- Mm.

Would you like to take a break?

- I can use some relaxing.
- Oh I bet you could.

Would you like a massage?

- Oh, you sure your husband
won't mind?
- He's at work.

- Mm.
- He's always at work.

[Chuckling] Well maybe he's just
tryin' to provide for you and
your family.

Yeah, but when the cat's away,

the mice will play, okay?
[Chuckling]

- You know what I mean?
- Okay, um,

Well maybe the lonely housewife
should get a job or a hobby or
some friends or somethin'.

Then call up pest control so he
can stop her sisters from
slitherin' around the house

eatin' up all the damn food
instead of tryin' to seduce the
plumber.

What the hell just happened
here, Tony?

What are you talkin' about?

You know what I'm talkin' about,
Lisa?

Is that what you do when I'm at
work?

I've seen the same cable van
parked outside for 3 days in a
row now.

What van Tony? what are you
ta...

We're role-playing, remember?

- Yeah, well I like it better
without the cheating.
- Ooh, uh uh.

- Uh mm Uh mm mm mm, I quit.
- What, what?

Wait wait wait. Okay okay okay
um,

How about you don't have a
husband?

- Okay, you got it.
- Alright. Okay.

[Tony clears throat]

Would you like to come upstairs?
I think I have some work that
needs to be done in the bedroom.

Mm let's get it.

Mmm
[Doorbell rings]

Dammit.

- Let me get the
- Yeah.

It better not be that cable man
wantin' to give you his premium
package either.

[Laughter] Cut it out, Tony.

Oah! What do you two vampire
bats want? This ain't a cave.

Then why do you look like
Fat-man?

[Audience laughter]

I don't know what y'all got
goin' on up in here but

you need to go put back on your
nurse's outfit.

We have moved on. Can't you tell
this is a different scene?

Why do I need to be back in my
nurse's outfit though?

Well this one dropped the camera

and now we lost all the
pictures.

That's because you knocked it
out of my hand...

[Overlapping shouting]

Alright, alright. Hey, hey,
wombats, wombats!

Calm down.

Oah. Oh my God.

Have you heard?

What we didn't hear Cheryl, was
the doorbell.

- This is not a good time,
Cheryl.
- No the robber

is in the neighborhood.

And the police are chasing him
right now.

Oh how sexy. Is he fine?

Ooh is it on the news? Turn on
the TV.

Do not turn that TV

Hey guess what?

Someone made a prank order and
now I got all this free Indian
food.

[Audience laughter]

Oh I know that house. That's
right down the street.

- The Johnson's.

Whatcha all watchin' on TV?

The police. They're chasin' a
burglar through this
neighborhood.

Donnie, get over here with that
curry.

Ooh, you got some chicken tiki
masala?

Yeah.

Okay, that's it. Everybody out
my damn house.

Oh no no wait, look the police
chase.

No no no no no, shut it.

Now all Lis and I wanted was a
little alone time and y'all
couldn't even give us that.

Could ya, huh?

Now take your damn curry goat,

your burglar stores, these 2 sea
lions and kick rocks!

- Hoa. I'll be out.
- Ooh.
[Gasp]

Uh. Oh well I never

Well if you could keep a man you
probably would.

Wait, Tony come on.

- Seriously, just
- No, no. Look look, I'm on a
roll here.

Alright, I feel like half our
damn marriage problems are
caused by these people

droppin' off they problems on
us.

Now get out and stay out.

- Can
- Bye.

Ha ha. There, they gone.

So you just gonna turn on our
friends, insult my sisters like
that?

and just throw everybody out?

C'mon, Tony, that's just rude!

So now you're mad at me? Lisa?
Lisa?

Wait.

Well unclog your own damn pipes.

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

Oah,

Come on, Lisa. Really, you're
reading?

It's my one weekend with no
kids. Clearly

romance isn't happening so I'm
catching up on my reading.

No no no no no, romance can
happen. Check it out.

[Deep voice] Hey baby, I changed
the pipes under the sink. Now
let me take a look under

- your
- Actually I fixed my own pipes,
remember? So no thank you.

Come on, Lisa. I already kicked
everybody out and I don't think
they're comin' back.

Yeah couldn't you have done it a
little nicer?

Nice don't work with them.
You've met them people.

Come on, we gotta be direct with
them fools.

Lori and Rachel are my sisters,
Tony.

Cheryl is my neighbor and
friend.

And Donnie is always around for
some reason.

- So?
- So I'm going to have to deal
with all of them all the time

and now you put me in this weird
position

where I have to apologize.

Well they should be the ones
apologizin' for always bargin'
in.

Yeah but that's how family
works.

Everybody leans on each other.

Well I'm just tryin' to lean on
you.

[Audience laughter]

Look, when was the last time I
barged in on one of your
sister's cages?

I don't know but if we had an
emergency, you know they'd be
there for us.

Alright. A so what do you want
me to do? You want me to
apologize?

No I just, I don't want you to
do anything, Tony.

- I just want to be left alone,
for now.
- Lisa?

Come on, girl. Oah.

Ughm.

Well looks like it's just me and
you. Whatchu wanna do?

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

Hold it right there, Miss.

You have the right to remain
silent. Anything you say will be
held against you. Now

stand up. Let me pat you down.

[Audience laughter]

Oh okay, you know what?

A for effort Tony, but this
weekend is spoiled.

Wait wait woa woa, is this
because of the thing I did
earlier?

Uh now listen, I will call
everybody and apologize

for what I said. You won't even
have to deal with them.

No, I mean it really isn't that,
Tony. I just

I think the spark is gone.

- The spark is gone?
- Mm hm.

- With us?
- Mm hm.

- And it can't be relit?
- I mean I don't know.

I think maybe this is just what
happens when couples are married
for so long.

Why do you keep sayin' that?
Girl we are still young.

Now come on. Let's give it one
more shot. I'm already dressed.
Go throw somethin' on.

Like what?

Come on, put on a business suit.

You can be a high-powered
executive that got busted for
insider trading.

Ooh, like Martha Stewart.

- Mm hm.
- And then you can bust into my
cell

Uhm.

And then I just, I'm, I'm a make
you a cake.

- Ooh.
- Or what about a pie?

- That's what I'm talkin' about.
- Wait...

Is that a helicopter?

Baby you are really gettin' into
this role-playing

thing, huh?

No, the helicopter was not in
the budget.

[Propellers whirring]

What the hell is goin' on out
here?

That's right.

You'll never take me alive.

Uh huh. You don't know who you
messin' with.

I'm from Bompton, fool.
That's why I'm-

[Audience laughter]

Okay, okay. You got me.
You got me.

Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool.
I give up.

Plea, please don't hurt me.
Please.

Plea, okay I know the position
already...cool.

Great job, officer.

How'd you know to come up in
this yard, man?

A Roger, 10 4. 7 8 9 5.

[Audience laughter]

Sounds good.

We'll take it from here.

[Muffled groaning]

- You'll never...
- Hey fellas, he's back here.

Black power player.

Okay, Tony.

That was really sexy.

Hm hm, you like that?

Yeah, officer. I think you
better take me upstairs for
questioning.

If we go upstairs, I'm probably
gonna need some handcuffs.

Okay see now if we do that we're
gonna need a

safe word.

How about kick rocks?

[Audience laughter]

You can just take your wife
upstairs.

Yeah, let's hurry up so you can
assume the position.

[Giggling]

[Instrumental Music]

Tony!

Whew! Last night was...

Amazing, spectacular,
life-changing?

I was going to say great but
we'll go with life-changing.

[Chuckling]
And don't worry, I already
called all of our friends this

morning and apologized for
yelling.

I'm sure they'll be droppin' by
unannounced any moment

and there's one right there.

Hm.

Oh my God,

I can't believe the pursuit
ended in your backyard. Were you
so scared?

Of course not. I had my Tony to
protect me.

I was actually quite scared,
Cheryl. Thanks for asking.

[Doorbell rings]
Oh, it's probably my sisters.

- Coffee?
- Ooh. Yes please, officer
Stallworth.

Okay, tone it down a notch. I'm
a married man.

Yeah no I, I heard that.

[Audience laughter]

Yeah.

Alright, you ready to see our
picture?

I thought vampires didn't show
up in pictures.

[Audience laughter]

Besides, ain't Rachel's phone
busted?

Like your face?

[Audience laughter]

I knew a girl who knew a guy who
knew a girl who had a

cousin who owed them a favor so,

got my phone fixed.

And, wait for it...

Ta-dah!

What do you think?

Yeah, if I was your parents, I'd
keep that picture outside the
house.

Shut up LeBron Lames.

Good.

Mm.

Well, I got fired.

What kind of a goober gets fired
from Goober Eats?

[Laughter]

What kind of red bone can't find
love at home?

[Audience laughter]

I'm not fired yet, per se.

Huh, but when they realize I
ain't been makin' them
deliveries,

You can't be stealin' people's
food, Donnie.

Borrowed.

Ya'll eat what you can and I'll
deliver the rest.

Ooh.

- Yes!
- But ya'll save me the pickled
pig feet. That's mine.

This is mine.

I already took it.

[Instrumental Music]

No, no. Honestly believe it or
not,

Tony's been goin' just over the
top in the romance department
lately.

I'm serious.

Girl, he did a half-naked
impression of D'Angelo.

[Audience laughter]

What's all that noise? Are you
throwin' up?

[Audience laughter]

Let me call you back. Tony just
walked in.

Wha, are you throwin' up again?

Who are you talkin' to?

Just Rachel.

Rachel? I didn't know you spoke
werewolf?

[Audience laughter]

Tony, what's in the bag?

Mm mm mm. Not Tony, Antonio.

[Audience laughter]

Didn't I fire you as
my cabana boy?

Yes, but I got a new job as a
Goober Eats driver.

And my first mission was to pick
up some tasty treats

for Señora
Stallworth.

Oh, well what you got?

Chocolate cake.

Ooh.

Chocolate brownie with macadamia
nuts.

Ooh I love those nuts.

And a fresh can of whipped cream

with the cherries on top.

What do you think you're gonna
do...with that?

I'm gonna make me a Lisa sundae
or in this case, Monday.

Come here, girl.

- No, you not.
- Real quick.

- Come on. Let me just get a
little squirt.
- Stop it.

[Instrumental Music]

Aow.

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]