All language subtitles for Family.Time.S06E03.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

[Instrumental Music]

Ok, Mom. You can open your eyes.

Aw, Ebony. Aren't you just
as pretty as a princess.

Or should I say Sophomore Queen?

I hope so.

And thanks for letting me shop
for my dress with my friends.

Oh, baby you did good.

You did so good, this is
beautiful.

Let me see the back.

Does it feel good? Is it tight
enough?

Hi, Daddy.

Awe, look at my little girl.

All dressed up just to welcome
home dear ol' dad.

Doesn't she look fabulous, Tony?

Aw, she gets if for her, mama.

But eh, where's the rest of it?

The rest of what?

That dress.

You need a turtle neck or helmet
and some pads or something

to cover up all that, that
there.

Tony, this dress is perfect, age
appropriate,

and the proper term for that
there is a sweetheart neckline.

I better not see no wannabe
sweethearts, near my daughter's
neckline.

Dad!!

I'm just saying.

Daddy, this is my homecoming
dress.

Aw ok, you and your little all
girl squad

gonna roll up there like
Charlie's Angels, huh?

Tony, your little girl's growing
up.

Ok, she's running for class
queen, and she will be

escorted by a nice guy as her
date.

Ok, perfect.

I have the perfect guy for you.

We'll use my Sky High Miles, to
fly in Devin from college.

Alright?

He'll love to go with ya. You
know that boy love to dance.

With the.. [Robot Noises]
[Laughing]

Dad, there is no way I'm going
with my brother. That's
embarrassing.

Alright, alright.

I guess I'll have to break out
the good suit, and take ya
myself.

Ok, that's worse than
embarrassing.

Girl, you have not seen my
powder blue tux, with the
ruffles.

Boy, I be killin' 'em.

Ok Mom, can you please talk to
him.

Tony, remember you said Ebony
couldn't date a boy till she was
sixteen?

[Sighs]

Well I know several nice guys I
wanna take me to the dance.

And in case you forgot, Daddy.
I'm sixteen!

[Audience Laughter]

[Chimes]

[Echoes] I'm sixteen.

[Chimes]

I'm sixteen.

She's sixteen.

- I'm sixteen.
- She's now sixteen.

I'm sixteen.

- No, no, no, no.
- I'm sixteen.

La, la. I don't wanna hear it.
She's still six to me.

La, la, la, la, la.

Lisa, what's for dinner?

- She's sixteen.
-I'm sixteen.

♪ Woke up and my wife
said to me ♪

♪ The bill collectors
want their fees ♪

♪ The kids keep talkin'
back to me ♪

♪ Family Time

♪ Family Time
♪ Family Time

♪ Family Time

[Phone Ringing]

[Phone Ringing]

[Phone Ringing]

[Phone Ringing]

You just gonna act like you
don't hear the phone ringing?

[Phone Ringing]

I'm takin' a Fika.

[Phone Ringing]
A who-ka?

[Phone Ringing]
A Fika.

It's Swedish for coffee break.

There is scientific proof that
by not takin' regular

breaks at work

you are less efficient, make
more mistakes,

and are less engaged.

[Phone Ringing]
Really?

- Um hmm.
- Hmm.

[Phone Ringing]
Well, did you happen to find any
sufficient evidence

[Phone Ringing]
that supports unemployment due
to extended breaks,

or Fikas, as you like to call
them?
[Phone Ringing]

I still got stuff on lay-away.

Good Morning, Stallworth
Construction!

They hung up.

After twelve rings, uh yeah!

What you looking for in the
folder?

Another winnin' lottery ticket?

No, I'm looking for a resume for
a new office assistant.

[Audience Laughter]

Actually, my business tax
extension is up next week.

So I gotta get
these papers filed.

That's what your tax
accountant is for.

You want me to call him?

Unfortunately he can only make
fifteen minute outgoing calls
from his current location.

See, that's what happens when
you hire a tax accountant

from one of them shady bus bench
ads.

I have a bus bench ad for my
business, Melinda.

Did, I say bus bench ad? I
didn't...

Anyway, why don't you let me do
your taxes for you?

Why would I do that?

Because I am more than your fly,
fit,

fabulous administrative
assistant.

I just to run....

keep the numbers for a very
reputable organization that I
cannot disclose the name of.

Wait Melinda.

Melinda, may or may not be my
government issued name.

Moving on.

Now, I already keep your books
in order here.

And I'll only charge half the
price your tax guy'll charge
you.

Half, huh?

Yep, only a few extra dollars
and you can't beat that.

How bout you do it for zero
extra dollars.

And you do it during the hours
of nine to five

which is when I pay you to be
here.

[Audience Laughter]

So basically, you want me to
work during my work hours?

That is not how work, works.
Huh!

You could be outta work.

Lookin' for new work.

See how that works?

- I'll get back to work.
- Yeah.

[Instrumental Music]

Ok, Ebony just remember the sum
of the angles in the triangle
are equal to 180 degrees.

So what is the meaning of the
ratio 1:3?

Hmm, it's means that the second
acute angle is

three times bigger than the
first acute angle?

You're so acute when you're
right.

[Laughing]

That was corny, really corny.

And acute.

[Laughing]

Oh hi, my two favorite study
buddies.

[Both]
Hey.

So, Miss Ebony.

I hear you have a big dance
comin' up.

I'm excited about homecoming.

Oh my baby, it's your first
dance.

Ow, how's big daddy, Ton feel
about that?

Aunt Lori, he still thinks I'm a
little girl.

Girl, Tony is in total denial.

Well, no offense, but little
Cornball here seems harmless.

Oh, no ma'am.

Dances and I don't mix well.

Last year, I tried doin' the
Stanky Leg and it resulted in a
broken leg.

[Laughing]

Ya, Corn's just my buddy.

Ebony, has three guy all trying
to be her date.

Oww.

But right now, me and Cornell
are trying to study for an A on
out geometry test.

Yeah, yeah, whateva.

Who you goin' to the dance with
girl?

Inquiring minds wanna know.

Well, there's Cooper..

The prep.

He's class president.

Then there's Markell.

The jock.

He's a football player.

Emphasis on player.

What did you say?

He's a, he's a team player.

Yeah, and I just got a text from
Stacks saying he wanted to roll
with me.

The thug.

That is not nice to call him
that.

He has the word tattooed on his
neck.

So, I just figured.

Now, you can text Stacks and
tell him he's completely outta
the running.

No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, a
minute.

Now, don't judge a book by it's
cover, Nerd.

Stacks, might be very
intelligent.

Lori, the boy's name is Stacks.

...with "Thug" tatted on
his neck. No, Ma'am.

No, Ma'am. I'm liking cutie pie,
Cooper.

Oh, preppies bore me.

Ok, hello this is Ebony's date,
not ours.

And Lori, you just mad cause
none of the preppies at school,
wanted to date your fast behind.

Mad?!

My fast behind they all ran
behind.

I just was to busy dating all of
the ball players.

Oh please, you didn't have to
date the entire basketball team.

- Just nasty.
- Oh, honey I only dated the
starting lineup.

- Please.
- The rest I left...

for you two.

And just cause you was all up on
all the cheerleaders,

don't come for me.

Well, what do you expect for me.
I mean, hey.

They worked at it, but you dated

that one dude with the bear
outfit on.

- The mascot.
- The bear.

- He was my friend.
- No he wasn't.

I saw him with his arm around
you.

[Instrumental Music]

Alright. Here you go, honey.

I hate that you have to work on
a Saturday.

Yeah well these taxes aren't
gonna prepare themselves.

It's either go to work today or
go to jail for tax evasion
later.

Oh no. You're too fine
to go to jail.

Mm hm. That's why I'm going to
work. Mm hm.

Eww.

Eww to you too. You too,
Tasmanian Devil.

I got your Tasmanian [Yaaah!]

[Laughter]

[Mocking laughter]

Keep laughin'. You look like
Morris Chestmutt.

[Audience laughter]

You just a regular comedian huh,
Fat Williams?

Oh keh...Okay, okay, chill out,
you guys.

- I'll see you later, baby.
- Okay.

Just make sure that Laverne and
Squirrelly are gone before I get
back, okay.

We gonna let that one go cause
the girl that you think is your
daughter just

walked into the room.

- Hey.
- Hey little Donnie.

That's not funny.

Hey bae...

- Hey baby.
- Bye Daddy.

Alright my little Ebony
homecoming queen.

Um Mom, what are y'all up to?

[Audience laughter]

And why is there boys from my
school in our backyard?

Well you know, I know you've
been really preoccupied with
your studies and you

haven't had a chance to properly
select your date for homecoming.

Oh my God.

So we hacked into your little
TrapChat

and we decided to hold auditions
for potential dates to the big
dance.

Auditions? Are you serious?

Yeah, it could be like that show
"The Voice", except this "The
Date."

Okay, this is so embarrassing.
It's just a date to the dance.

It's not like we're gonna marry
this guy.

Um, you never know.

Listen, your dad and I went to
homecoming and prom together.
Who knew

we would be married today?

That's right. And we don't want
any repeats of that.

[Audience laughter]

- Exactly.
- Aim high, young one. Aim high!

Rude.

Alright so, let's get this show
on the road.

- But I...
- But I nothin' little girl.

Now let's find out who is gonna
take you...

to the big dance.

Come on in, first guy.

Alright, stand right here.

And introduce yourself.

[Clears throat]

Good afternoon everyone. I'm
Cooper Lawson.

3.95 GPA. Member of the debate
squad and a

I'm Sophomore President.

Oh, he had me at 3.95.

[Lori yawns]

Ebony, if you would allow me to
escort you to homecoming,

I'd be the Barak to your
Michelle.

The Jay Z to your Beyonce.

The Martin to your Gina.

So, what do you say?

[Instrumental Music]

Umm,

[Audience laughter]

Aww, is that your little
brother?

Ah nah, that's my son.

Ssh. I just put him to sleep.

[Smirks] 'Sup Ebony? You ready
to be a step baby mama?

[Audience gasps]

Oah hell no.

Next!

Can I get his number?

[Audience laughter]

[Boy wails]

[Audience laughter]

Oh.

Wooh!

- Hey!
- Wow.

Hot dog Jay. ???
- Whew!

[Ladies cheering]
When he flex like that....???
Aye!

Ah hoo hoo heh.

- Hey.
- Oh.

- Woo hoo hoo.
- Hey.

Um, that's my friend's little
brother and he's in middle
school.

Aaah, like auntie like niece.

Cougar twins activate!

Oah oh, we don't play
them games.

[Audience laughter]

[Singing]
♪ Ebony Ebony Eba

♪ neee
[Warbling]

♪ will go to

♪ homecoming with me

Sounds a little pitchy to me.

Mm, that's a no for me, dog.

[Audience aww's]

I'm just sayin'.

That's a no from her, dog.

[Audience laughter

- I don't know.
- I like the one...

Hi ladies.

- Hey Ebony.
- Oh hey Corn Pop, you here to
audition?

Oh no. I'm here to study. You
ready Ebony?

Yes.

Mm hm.

Aww.

Study. Hm, so that's what they
callin' it now.

That's what we called it.

[Instrumental Music]

[Calculator crunching]

- Hey Melinda.
- Shhh. I'm on a roll!

- I think I missed my callin' as
an accountant.
- Hm.

Here you go Mr. Stallworth. Your
1040,

your 1120, and a list of
itemized deductions.

Neat, in order and ready to be
signed.

Aaah, check you out. This is
amazing.

Yes I am and you'll be happy to
know that because of my
impeccable skills,

you are getting a nice refund.

- Whaaa?
- Yes, sir.

Okay how nice are we talkin'
here? We talkin' moderate,

Mega or aw, sookie sookie, now?

[Audience laughter]

How about all sookie, sookie,
Sookie,now!

[Laughter]

Oah that's great. Look look, I
don't know how to thank you.

I do. All you gotta do is give
me my cut, and we good.

I may just have to do that.

I can't believe how much money
you was leavin' on the table.
You got deductions, man.

Well I usually just deduct the
yeh, the usual stuff.

You know office, and then
building supplies, mileage then

occasional business lunch.

Do you ever work from home?

Not really.

So you mean to tell me you never
answered a business call at
home?

Yeah, sure.

- That counts as a home office
deduction!
- Really?

Hm Hm. See what else you got
here.

Educational expense: Devin's
tuition.

That's a good one.

- Zumba class.
- Mm hm.

Okay what is this?

Oh I got us a gym membership a
while ago.

I don't have a gym membership.

Ah, yeah you do.

And it's almost time to renew
it.

Anyway we got the corporate
discount cause I charged it to
the Stallworth

Construction corporate platinum
card.

Didn't know I had one of those
either.

Go on.

And so, I started taking the gym
Zumba classes to help me with

my job skills by alleviating the
stress caused by my job.

Educational expense.

You're welcome!

[Audience laughter]

Hm.

Tax fraud. That'll give me about
5 to 10.

[Audience laughter]

Hm.

Hey, where you goin'? The gym?

No, no, no, no. I'm a go down to
the hood and get my stripes and
make sure

I get the top bunk since I'm
goin' to prison.

[Audience laughter]

Say hey to my cousin Leroy!

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

Oh. Oh no, Tony. You are not
bringin' that stuff to bed.

This is our place of rest.

Look I can't rest knowin' that I
can get audited

because I entrusted by business
taxes to Melinda.

[Laughter]

- Mm I hate to say it.
- Well then don't.

Trust me I already know. You
wouldn't believe the stuff she
tried to write off

as a tax deduction.

Actually Tony I would. People do
it all the time.

Look,

hair weaves, cosmetics, concert
tickets.

None of that has anything to do
with construction.

Well, it depends.

Concert tickets to take out
potential clients.

Hair weaves and cosmetics to
keep up her professional
appearance.

So you're saying I should take
the risk, play dumb,

and get a ridiculously good
refund?

You can, but if you get caught,

Have I ever told you about my
best friend Kelli, whose father
got arrested

at her Sweet 16 party and went
to jail for tax fraud?

So you're sayin' I should go
downstairs, make a fresh pot of
coffee,

and try to undo what I should've
paid a tax professional to do in
the first place?

Yep. 'Night, night.

Oh before I forget,

who did our daughter decide to
take to the dance?

Oh, can you believe that girl
still hasn't made up her mind?

I mean not that I'm in a rush to
see our daughter dating anybody

but a, why don't you and your
nosy sisters let that girl

be and just let her make her own
decisions in her own time like
when she's 25.

Honey, we are just tryin' to
help. She's got the dress

and we just want the perfect
date to escort her.

[Sighs]

Laurie and Wiggie Smalls can
find dates for themselves, okay?

Okay
- How in the hell they gonna
find mates for somebody else?

Okay, you know what?

I hate to say it and this is
very strange, but you're right.

I know I'm right.

Too bad I'm not right about my
tax decisions.

Oah, you better take a pillow
honey. It's gonna be a long
night.

You ain't comin' with me?

Good luck with you tax
write-offs, honey.

[Audience laughter]

Wish I could write-off
your attitude.

[Drumming]

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

Okay, thank you all for coming
here tonight.

I am honored that you all want
to take me to the homecoming
dance,

but as you know, I can only
choose one date.

Look at my baby niece, gettin'
her bachelorette on. Go on, give
away that flower baby!

That better be the only flower
she's givin' away.

[Audience laughter]

Cooper,

you're a really nice guy.

Huh, Barak no-Bama is whack!

[Audience laughter]

Dude, you're in high school with
two kids.

Hey, who else supposed to do my
homework?

[Audience laughter]

Anyway, you're a really nice
dresser

and a leader. And as much as I
would like to give you this
rose,

I can't.

[Snickering]

Markell that goes for you too.
As a matter of fact, that goes
for all of you.

What?

Cornell, would you please step
forward?

Um, okay.

Cornell, I love studying with
you.

And I always have fun hangin'
around you.

Would you accept this rose and
go to homecoming with me/

Oh ho Ebony, I would love to.

Hauh.

- Up, the dog down.
- Check his pockets.

- Capricorn...get up.
- Cornell.

- Move.
- Cornell.

[Overlapping voices]
- Come on, Corn dog.
- Cornell.

Cornell.

Cornell, wake up.

Yes Ebony, I would love to
escort you to the homecoming
dance.

What? I didn't ask you to the
dance.

Ugh.

Darned. That daydream felt so
real. Ugh.

But you know what, I'd love to
go to homecoming with you.

- You would?
- Sure.

Yes, yes, yes. Yesss!

Woa, woa, woa, woa.

- Hah, hah, haah, haaah.
- Ah, what the hell's going on
in here?

Hah, Sir your lovely daughter
just invited me to homecoming
and I just

couldn't contain myself.

Aww. That's so sweet.

Good choice, Ebony.

Thanks Mom.

You two are gonna look so cute
together.

Just don't look too cute
together. You gonna be Popped
Corn.

[Audience laughter]

I can't believe I'm going to
homecoming.

And I'm going with Ebony
Stallworth.

I gotta get my hair cut. I gotta
get a suit.

And I need to learn how to
dance.

I, I, aye, it's happening
again.

[Audience laughter]

I don't think this brother gonna
make it to the dance.

[Audience laughter]

One thing's for sure, we
Stallworth women have

an effect on men. Ain't that
right, Tony.

[Audience laughter]

Well you know, when I was
younger, back in the day.

Listen, Cornell.

- Cornell, Cornell.
- Cornell, Cornell!

Cornell! Cornell,

[Instrumental Music]

Okay, how we lookin' Melinda?

I'm almost done Mr. Stallworth,
but you need to stop breathin'
your

dragon breath down my neck.

This weave is flammable.

Back up!

[Audience laughter]

I literally stayed up all night
redoin' those forms

going through receipts. I just
hope I got everything right.

Well even though you ain't take
my deductions advice, you

- still have a refund coming
your way.
- Oh thank God. How much?

Well if my calculations are
correct,

- a hundred and fifty...
- Thousand?

Dollars.

Actually, its a hundred dollars,
cause I need my cut.

You're about to get cut from
payroll.

I'll settle for you takin' me to
lunch.

This was so stressful!

Well you know, you deserve that.

You can order anything off the
dollar menu, but no cheese.

Since you was so stressed out,
I'll take you by that Zumba
class...

- you was talkin' about.
- Oah, oah, oah.

A no, no. Save it, save it.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

[Humming]

Ah aah.

Eeh eeeh

Honey, whatchu doin'? Why you
cut my music off?

I'm just trying to figure out
why you dancin' around looking
like the black Carrie.

[Audience laughter]

I'm so happy for Ebony. She
looked so beautiful.

Reminded me of our homecoming.
Remember?

Oah yeah. Ooh girl, you looked
good back then.

[Audience laughter]

But even better now.

Thank you, Tony.

I'm serious Lisa. You know you
were very beautiful on
homecoming night.

But you've aged like the, the
finest wine the world has ever
seen.

Way out of my budget.

You're not so bad yourself. I
mean you're more like a box
wine.

[Laughter]

How'd you get so lucky, Tony?

Yeah, do tell.

Good question. You know what?
Lisa Stallworth,

may I have this dance?

Yes.

[Laughter]
Really?

- Come on now.
- Really?

- Come on now. Twerk it like you
used to.
- Enough.

I'm a lady!

How about this, huh?

Mm.

- A little Luther?
- Yes.

Yeah.

- Ah now, ooh you are...Mm hm.
- Pretty hot in a tiara.

Aww, seriously babe.

Mm.

[Instrumental Music]