Original subtitles

[Instrumental Music]

Buttermilk.

Mom, I haven't even taken a bite yet.

Well, whatcha waitin' on?

Eat up!

You know, you gotta eat a good healthy breakfast to start your day.

Not this big.

I plan on be on top of the pyramid, not shaped like one.

Hey! [Slap]

Tony.

Woman, you smack me a again.

You gonna what? What, whatcha gonna do?

Reach in for another piece.

Tony! [Slap]

Now, what is wrong with you?

You know better than stand between a black man and his swine.

I'm sorry, but that's not for you.

Well, who's it for then?

You cookin' for a team of sumo wrestlers?

Or better yet, your sisters.

It's all for me, Dad. Again.

Are you goin' off to school or off to war.

Mom, it's getting really late. I need to go.

Yeah, let the girl go.

No!

No, we are a family, ok. We're goin' eat like a family.

A big,

happy,

loving family.

Mom, I appreciate this Huxtable moment and all, but Terrance is waiting.

Terrance?!

Girl, hold on.

You better sit you little fast self down and eat them grits. You heard your momma.

Huh.

As much as I've been loving this ongoing mother, daughter bonding...

[Horn Honks] I gotta go!

Wait you forgot your lunch.

I made fried chicken, mac and cheese, collard greens,

black eyed peas, yams and peach cobbler. Your favorite!

I don't think she heard me, I'm just, I'mma take it...

[Stuttering] Lisa.

Won't you calm down. What's gotten into you?

Nothing.

Just showing our daughter a little love and attention.

What you gonna do, is give her hypertension.

Tony, things just haven't been the same since Devin left for school.

It's weird. It's like there's a void.

Yeah, I feel that same void...

in my stomach.

- Really? - Yeah.

Got my bacon though.

[Singing] I got my bacon though.

I got your bacon though.

♪ Woke and my wife said to me

♪ Bill collectors want their fees

♪ Kids keep talking back to me

♪ Family Time

♪ Family Time, Family Time, Family Time

- Mmm. - Mhmm.

Man, I don't know what's wrong with me.

I thought I was, ok.

I was ok with Devin going off to college.

I mean that's what kids do.

Grow up, move on.

Mmm.

Move on, I'm bout to move in on some more of these pancakes.

Pass me so syrup, please.

I mean I found myself sleepin' in his bed.

Smellin' his clothes.

Listenin' for old voice messages just so I could hear his voice.

Mmm.

Drivin' slowly behind him whenever he leaves the house.

Watching him at night through his bedroom window.

Calling just do I can hear him say, "Hello!".

But we're not talking about me, my ex, or his damned restraining orders.

Carry on.

Lisa, I don't even know why you're trippin'.

This is when you're supposed to be living your best life ever,

while you still look good enough to do it.

And honestly I don't even know how many years you have left.

Really?

I mean, because you know y'all got momma's genes.

And you know they don't age well.

Cause black don't crack, but beige does age.

And where you get your genes? The swap meet?

Pass me them grits, please.

It's this food you keep cooking that's gonna keep us from seeing Devin's graduation.

But look on the bright side,

one down, two to go.

Two?

Yeah.

You do know Ebony will soon be going off to college.

And hopefully Tony will just ... go.

Then we can divorce him, and use up all his money travelin' the world.

I always wanted to go to Wakanda.

You know it's in Africa, right.

Find me a black panther man.

She might be on to something.

Yeah, divorce Tony.

Take the money, get a new car.

Something sexy and red,

top down and eh, if you want you can just keep it at my house.

I'd do that favor for you, you know.

You know, I really wish you guys could take this seriously.

I'm going through something here.

Honey, I'm sorry I didn't know you were serious about this.

Baby, what you really need to do is,

just cut the umbilical cord.

Let that boy live his life.

And get a life of your own.

What?!

Really, please I have a life.

Where?

Ok, just the other day, I was...

doin' that thing that I was doin'.

When I was lifin' and doin' my thin.....

Wha, whatever Lori, I have a life.

Oooh, that's pathetic.

She can't even make up havin' a good life.

[Laughing]

You know maybe I should check on Devin, I haven't heard from him in two weeks.

Think I should visit?

- Mmm. - Don't.

I'mma pay him a visit.

- Check in on him. - No, no, you're serious?

- Don't. - Oh, yeah.

Please, do not go up there and embarrass my nephew,

in front of his new college friends.

I'm the momma. I can check on my son if I want to.

Really?

What?

I had a ticket on hold, just in case.

[Instrumental Music]

Ya.

Melinda, will you give it up already.

It's makeup not magic.

Ain't you supposed to be at work?

I am on my lunch break.

Your lunch break ain't for another fifteen minutes.

Yeah, well I have to get ready now so that I'm ready for my lunch break, duh.

Done.

Congratulate me, Mr. Stallworth.

I have found the one.

Well can the one type 60 words a minute and answer the phone

because eh, there's about to be a vacancy in our near future.

Eh, he don't need to type and answer phones.

He got people to do that for him.

He is an entrepreneur.

Mr. Stallworth, you wouldn't know nothin' bout that.

What'd think I am?

Nope.

Too easy.

Look Melinda, I'm happy for you that you found a new "boo" and all.

Boo?!

Oh, wait a minute.

Mr. Sallworth,

You will not minimize our capacity for love, to mere boodum.

Ok?

It's way more than that.

When I am with him

my horizons are expanded,

and my heart moon song floats in the air.

What the hell are you talkin' about Maya Ange-NO.

All you need to know is that thanks to me, my new man wants to take a meeting with you.

His investment firm may be interested and doing some business with you.

I'm sorry did you say business.

- Um hmm. [Knocking] - Ok.

Melinda.

My mocha melanin afternoon bliss.

[Happy Giggles]

Perfect match, Langston Snooze.

Tony, meet Julius Turner.

Tony, nice to meet you brother.

Nice to meet you too, brother.

Melinda, tells me a lot about you.

No matter how much I object.

[Laughs] Is that right?

She's told me a whole lot about you too.

And I can't lie, it's pretty damn impressive.

- Hmm. - Oh Yeah.

The way you've taken good fortune and turned it into a way to empower the community.

And I mean true empowerment.

Financially liberatin' our people.

Oh yeah, that is nothin' short of commendable.

[Laughs] I gotta tell you, we need more enlightened brothers like you.

Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

Now, come on Melinda, the man came to take you to lunch.

Don't keep him waitin'. Your momma taught you better than that.

I'm gonna freshen up.

Mr. Stallworth, I need the key.

[Hubcap Banging]

I won't keep you waiting, my baby.

Oh yeah, I like what you got goin' on up in here, Tony.

And I can't tell you how good it is seein' a brother,

in a position to write checks, instead of waitin' on 'em.

You know what, speakin' of checks.

My team is lookin' for a new urban project we can revamp.

I'm thinkin' your business might just be the place.

Really?

Well, what'd you have in mind exactly.

You ever think about sellin'?

Sellin'? [Laugh] No, no.

This is a family owned business.

My father passed it on down to me,

and I plan to pass on down to my son.

Like you said, we create a lot of jobs and opportunities for a lot of people.

And I'm not gonna throw that all away for a measly little...

Them's a lot of zeros, brother.

Instrumental music

I mean yeah.

Of course the offer sounds good, but are you seriously considering this?

Sellin' your business is a big move.

I don't know, Lisa, but I'll tell you.

It would be nice not to worry about drummin' up business all the time.

And the hours.

I mean, think about all I've missed around here because of work.

Um, Ebony's science fair.

Had to stay late and supervise my men on site.

Father and son, pizza night.

At the office preparing for an audit.

Rachel's surprise birthday party.

Pssh.

Naw, that wasn't work. I was sittin' in my car, listenin' to the radio,

eatin' potato chips, til everybody left.

I knew it.

[Laughs] - Tony.

Look my point is this will allow me to spend more time with the family.

Except when it comes to your sisters.

I'm ok with missin' out then.

I don't know, Tony. The kids are gettin' older.

Pretty soon they'll be outta here.

This house will be empty.

Quiet and empty.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Just don't know if I'm ready for all this change.

Alright, think about it like this.

Once the kids are both gone.

We'll have the house to ourselves.

Allow us to be a little more spontaneous.

I won't have to schedule takin' a dip in your cookie jar.

Ohh, and I guess since no one'll be here

we don't have to use code words like "cookie jar".

I can fix things around here.

I could paint more.

Ow, I can build that entertainment center, I always wanted.

I can redecorate the kids rooms.

Reorganize the garage.

Start a garden.

Go fishin'.

Been meanin' to watch all my stories.

Play cards on the porch.

Maybe knit.

We can get a cat.

Get two cats.

Name 'em

Oprah Whiskers, and Katy Purry.

You realize we sound old as hell, right.

We're gonna grow old and die quietly in this house,

and the kids won't find our bodies for months because they'll be too busy

turnin' up to even care!

Wanna write 'em out the will.

Lisa, I'm proud of you.

I think it's super cool you wanna go back to school.

I just don't understand why.

Yeah, it's not like she did anything with her last degree.

She got a degree?

Yeah, in liberal arts.

What does that do?

[Laughs]

Girl, you know how she'd paint sometimes.

- I guess that's... - She ain't...

Frida Kahlo.

[Both Laughing]

Hi, hey, hey, yeah, I'm right here.

Ok, listen it's a whole big world out there.

New and exciting things happen everyday,

I don't wanna miss out on that.

That's right.

You know this is the new Lisa.

I'm gonna focus on me and do what I want.

Well, what do you wanna do?

Haven't figured that out yet.

[Laughing] That's why you're here.

To help.

Community College?

Yes, I was thinking I would ease back in.

By going to Community College.

I just need a course that interests me.

Maybe dance.

Girl, don't nobody wants to see your almost forty-year-old

behind twerkin' and doin the splits.

You ain't Debbie Allen.

Or Marcus Allen for that fact.

Ok, you ain't gotta be all rude about it.

What about this kinesiology?

I could use this to teach gym...

Uh mm, no.

Obviously, you've forgotten how you sabotaged poor Ebony's whole cheerleadin' squad.

Why?

Girl, those parents tried to get you outta there faster

than they got Omarosa's ass out the White House.

Oww, here's one.

Business administration.

Oh,wait.

Her fingers are too short, them stubby fingers'll probably never be able to reach the keys.

Ah, right here.

Child development.

Ump, mmm.

But her kids don't like her.

You think other people kids might like her?

Doubt it

Communication is out, you know she gotta a lisp.

Hey, I do not have a lisp.

Girl hush, we tryin' to plan your future.

- Just turn the page. - Yeah.

Here's what I say.

Sell the business and invest in the black plates.

Wha, what the hell are you talkin' about?

Commemorative plates, like on the infomercial.

And you better call now Ton',

because operators are standing by.

Rodney, how's that an investment?

They gold plated.

Gold plated plates.

And they got all the plates, man.

They got the James Brown. [Vocalizing]

They got the Luther. [Vocalizing]

They got that and oh, they got the new commemorative,

Al Jarreau joints that just hit the street.

And they got them Kendrick Lamar. Them plates is Damn!

Man, have you been drinking the damn rubbin' alcohol?

Let me ask you this, you ever thought about sellin' your place?

I mean it's crazy you bring that up, Ton' man.

I mean one time I did get a pretty lucrative offer for my shop.

You know.

Big barber shop chain. They wanted to come in here

do they thang, man.

And I was like, no!

You know what I'm sayin'

And I I look up they start stealin' my barbers.

Stole each and every one of my barbers, dog.

And I had a little ATM machine in the corner,

I look up they done robbed it.

I couldn't believe it, I was like y'all...

Wait a minute. Didn't that happen in the movie, "Barbershop"?

I knew you was full of it, when you used the word "lucrative."

Look man,

I come from a long line of barbers.

My daddy owned a shop.

My daddy's, daddy's granddaddy.

Is the first man to cut Frederick Douglass' hair.

Man, knock it off.

Your great-grand pappy didn't cut no damn Frederick Douglass hair.

Matter of fact, nobody cut Frederick Douglass' hair.

He used to edge him up.

And he did it with a rock.

That's beside the point.

This is my shop and my business.

And I ain't sellin' for nobody.

Plus, I ain't ready to retire.

Excuse me.

Unless I find a fine woman like that.

And spend all my money.

How long is the wait?

How long the wait?

Get your ass up, Ton'. [Chuckles]

Baby girl, the wait is over.

Rodney is right here for you.

And he's ready to oblige you with all you need.

Thank you, but I'm asking for my boyfriend.

He's just finishin' a call outside.

Oh, we booked, we booked.

Come on, come on.

I'm so sorry, baby.

Always business.

[Kiss] You find out about the wait?

Julius?

Aw, hell naw.

Tony, brother. How you doin'?

I'm doin' fine.

I would ask how you doin', but I see you doin' quite alright.

Oh, he doin' good.

Uh, huh.

Oh, wait am I getting a text from Melinda?

Oh, so you two know each other.

Yeah, we have a mutual friend.

There, yep. I actually acquiring Tony's business.

Oh.

That's my man, just workin' all over the place.

Mmm.

He just bought out my business that I work for.

Well, used to work for.

Really?

Yeah, it's a little small insurance company on King Avenue.

Wait, wait. King Avenue.

That's, oh that's where doin' all that genre, re, re.

That's where all the white folks movin' in.

And they bout to put some brand new high-end condos over there.

No, you're mistaken.

They're gonna build low income houses for single mothers.

[Laughs] - Right, baby?

That is right, yeah.

Yeah, cause I know because I helped him seal the deal with my old boss.

You did.

It's very, very interesting.

Because ah, my secretary Melinda's lookin' for a place.

Maybe a duplex.

Know anything about jugglin' two places at once?

Tony.

Tony, can I talk to you for a minute?

Brother, brother, brother.

What is going on, playa.

Look, I know how this looks.

But man, we got a code we live by.

They ain't no need to put a brotha, on blast.

Melinda, find out. You gonna be on a IV.

All I'm saying is my offer is real.

And it still stands.

So Melinda, don't have to find out about any of this.

Right?

Alrigtht, good talk.

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

[Brrrr]

I feel a little parched.

Don't you think it'd be a good time for like a

break maybe a little snackem or something.

Mom, we just took a snack break an hour ago.

Oh.

If we stop now, we can see the end of "Baby Mammas Fresno",

I think Sasha's finally gonna admit she's really a man.

Mom, please I'm trying to work here.

Scuse me.

[Tapping] Mmm.

Knock, knock.

Can wittle Wisa, come out and play?

Yeah, cause all work and no play,

makes Lisa more boring than she already is.

Oh well, if by boring you mean

being able to keep a man.

Then guilty as charged.

Man, ugh.

What y'all doin' here.

Well,

we decided to surprise you for your first week of school.

Also Shoe Canoe is having a sale, buy two get one free.

By the way I get the free.

Nice, nice.

Yeah, that sounds...

Unfortunate. She has work to do.

No, well, I mean I'm almost done.

Oh, I'm sorry, you finished reading all three chapters including your notes?

Well, no, I mean I skimmed.

Uh yeah! I don't think so.

Sorry ladies, Lisa can't come out and play.

And maybe next time you wanna call first.

Oooww.

Look here little lady, if I wanna,

skip a couple chapters and hang out with my sisters.

I don't see a problem with that.

- Hello. - Mmm.

As long as you're living under my roof,

you will live by my rules.

And you don't wanna end up like your girls, right?

Wha? She's obviously talkin' about you.

What's wrong with me?

Now, see your friends to the door

and get back here focused and ready to work.

Wait a minute, little girl.

Lisa, you have got to be kidding me.

I'm not gonna repeat myself.

Yes, Ma'am.

We, we gotta go. She not gonna repeat herself.

Little girl must think she's a Michelle NO'bama

And I'm takin' the soda.

Work.

Um.

[Instrumental Music]

Melinda, we need to talk.

[Door Slams]

Oh, Julius.

Good, I was just about to call you.

Oh, with good news I hope.

Fraid not, my brother.

I looked over your proposal,

and although I appreciate your offer,

Your damn, damn, good offer.

I'm not gonna sell.

Huh.

You sure there's nothing I can do to nudge you in the right direction.

Nope, I'm good right here.

Wow. Well, that is unfortunate indeed.

And exactly what's wrong with our people.

We can never quite see the big picture, can we?

All the moving parts at play

So instead we miss out on big opportunities

cause we're too scared to expand.

Well, good luck. Cause you gonna need it.

Listen here, bruh.

Mr. Stallworth.

Oh no, thank you baby, I appreciate that.

Because I can't

afford to waste anymore time up in here.

My time is actually worth some money.

Baby, you comin'?

I don't think so.

Actually, I'm also good right here.

Oh, you done went and broke the man code.

I don't owe you jack, Bruh.

But if you really want the business, I can give you these hands.

You makin' big mistake.

No, you made the mistake.

See, I already knew you were dirty.

But I was gonna hang out, so I could secure some bags.

But, since Mr. Stallworth said no.

You can hit the do'.

Oh, and just so there's no confusion.

This is goodbye.

I know...

He done left the...I said goodbye!

[Door Slams]

Melinda, if you knew he was dirty,

why'd you stay with that clown so long.

He may have been whack, but that money was real.

Ok.

Besides I was just gonna bite the bullet til you got paid.

You would'd did that for me?

[Laughing] No!

You cool and all, Mr. Stallworth, but this was all about me.

You know I'm always looking for a quick come up.

Besides he only wanted to buy, because I lied about our profit margins.

If he knew what we we're really worth.

He wouldn't've looked your way.

Melinda, I don't know whether to be offended or intrigued.

But with your hustle and my flow.

We can take this business to the next level.

Wait.

So does that mean I get a promotion?

Of course it does.

You are now promoted from administrative assistant,

to executive assistant.

Congratulations.

Well, do I at least get my own office?

You bring another hustler in here, you gonna be in the unemployment office.

Understood, I'll be over here.

Ok.

There he is.

Devin, hi baby.

We're just so glad, you're doing so well out there.

Yeah, we're proud of you son.

Thanks, guys.

And mom, sorry again for not calling back.

My schedule has been bananas.

Where'd you say you are again.

Study hall, you know me. All about the books.

Oh, study hall must be a lot of fun. Looks like a whole lot of students there.

Yeah Devin, study hall looks pretty lit.

Oh nice, I see they provide snacks for you guys.

Look at everybody walkin' around with their brownies and their red cups.

Yeah... There's a lot of red cups son. What's in them cups?

Wha, is that trap music I hear?

Welp. That's my time. I gotta go.

Devin, don't make me come down.. is there a belt button on here.

[Angry Stutter]

Tony, I don't see anything wrong with him and his friends

having some snacks while they study.

MUSIC