All language subtitles for Family.Time.S06E01.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

[Instrumental Music]

[Footsteps]

Oh I cannot believe it!

Look at my baby! Going off to
college.

Oh it seems like only yesterday
you were just a baby!

Just, be a baby again.

- Be a baby again.
- Mom!

[Whining] Be a baby again.
- Mom!

Lisa, Lisa, let the boy go. He's
a man now.

I'm sorry. I just got a little
carried away.

That's what women do. Y'all get
emotional during these times.

That's why it's up to the man to
stay calm, cool and collected.

Son, when you get to college,

Always remember [voice cracks]

[Clears throat]
[Audience laughter]

Just keep in mind [voice rising]
Ah hah. Mm.

Can't you just be 4 again? Be 4
again!

Remember how I used to give you
piggyback rides?

Hop on my back. Let me give you
a piggyback ride for old time's
sake.

- Come on.
- Dad, dad, stop.

Okay, just hop on my shoulders.
Let me carry you around a bit.

Dad, I don't want you to crack a
vertebrae.

[Audience laughter]

Look at you using all those big
words. Sounding all collegiate.

- Baby, I can't, I can't.
- Devin, I just wanted to let
you know that

that I'm gonna miss you and blah
blah blah.

Let's cut to the chase. Mom and
dad, what' happening with
Devin's room?

[Audience laughter]

I was actually thinking about
turning it into a walk-in
closet.

No, no, no, no. Daddy is
claiming that for his own
personal gym.

Tony please, you already have
the man cave.

How many rooms do you really
need?

Lisa, I'm trying to get in
shape.

- You already shaped...like an
avocado.
- Up.

You weren't complainin' about
that guacamole though, were you?

[Chuckling] Hello, I called his
room first.

No, no, no, now look. It's a
gym,

and that's final, alright?

[Overlapping bickering]
- Hey, hey.

Hey!

I'm still here for a
couple of days.

Can't y'all wait till my bed is
cold till y'all start fightin'
over it.

[Laughter]
We better.

Hey, I think I should get
Devin's room.

Lonnie, can you please use the
front door when you come in?

Why would I use the front door
when I could just hop the fence

and come through the back?

This is exactly why I need to
live here, okay? I need Devin's
room.

Do you realize how much time I
could save by going

to and from the Stallworth
refrigerator if I just lived
here?

You know how much time and money
I would save if you just didn't
live?

Donnie hell, no.

Come on, son. I could be like
the son you never had.

[Theme Music]

♪ Woke up and my wife
said to me ♪

♪ The bill collector's want
their fees ♪

♪ Kids keep talkin'
back to me ♪

♪ Family Time

[Chorus]
♪ Family Time. Family
Time. Family Time ♪

♪ Oah ho ho hoa yeah

[Instrumental Music]

Thanks for helping me out with
debate club, Aunt Vivian.

Aw of course. When I was your
age, I was debate club
president,

spelling bee champion, oh and
the only white girl in an

all-black high school.

[Audience laughter]

What's up, family? Just grabbin'
a mid-day snack.

What y'all talkin' about anyway?

Oh I'm helping Ebony with her
debate club.

Aw nice. Don't let me
interrupt y'all.

When it comes to debate, you got
to remember the three P's.

Preparation, poise and
presentation.

And you got to know your facts.

And you got to work on your
breathing

and your body language.

And lay out your argument simply
and cohesively.

Okay, let me interrupt. Ebony,

you don't need to know the

5 P's or 3 D's or none of
that bull.

Okay, what you need to focus on

is seeing your opponent as
the enemy!

Alright? And be willing to do

or say whatever it takes

to destroy 'em! Alright?

Whether that be making up lies,
talkin' about their mama,
anything.

Donnie, that's not how you win a
high school debate.

No?

No.

Tell you what, why don't you
debate me on anything, and I
will win.

Alright.

How about, ooh whether or not
the earth is flat.

Perfect. I have no opinion on
the matter so I tell you what,

I'll argue either side.

Hm. I'll take the side that the
earth is round.

- Perfect. Ebony, you be the
judge.
- Okay.

Alright, I'll start.
[Clears throat] Um,

It's obvious to everyone
especially the scientific
community,

that the earth is round.

Your mama's round.

[Audience laughter]

Donnie, don't interrupt my
opening statement.

Your mama interrupted your
opening statement.

That doesn't make any sense.

[Whispering] Your mama don't
make sense.

- Ay.
[Laughter]

I'm killin' it!

[Sighs] Ah well, when you see a
ship

coming from the distance, it
doesn't just appear.

It appears as if the ship is
coming out of the water

and that is because of the
curvature of the earth.

Objection. I think we should
talk about

your mother's curvature and how
it's weighing the earth down.

- Case closed!
[Laughter]

Okay, fine Donnie. So you can
make mama jokes,

but you haven't made a singular
argument as to why the earth is
flat.

And you don't close an argument
with case closed. You say,

resolved.

Resolved, dissolved,
Ebony, who won?

[Audience laughter]

I'm sorry Aunt Vivian, I gotta
give this one to Donnie.

Case closed.

[Sighs] Stop saying case closed!

- I wanna try.
- Oh, well step on up, little
girl.

Why don't you debate whether or
not it's okay for you to

just come on in here everyday
and steal food?

I'll start.

The Stallworths have an
abundance of food in their
refrigerator,

and if it does not get eaten
then it will go to waste. And
wasting food

is dumb.

Your mama's dumb!

Whoo!
- Hey,

- don't come for my mama.
- Case closed!

My mama's a gorgeous woman. How
dare you disrespect her!

[Instrumental Music]

Tony, stop eating chips. We're
about to have dinner.

Lisa, I am a grown-ass man.

If I want a pre-dinner snack,
I'm gonna have me a pre-dinner
snack.

Well if you want your after
dinner dessert,

you might want to come help me
set this table.

- Yes, dear.
- Okay.

Oah, there's my boy.

One of the last times I'll see
his little cute face before he
goes off to

college.

Mom, can we not do this every
single time?

I'm going to college not war.

[Audience laughter]
Alright,

you mess up on them grades,
you're gonna be spending tuition
money

on hospital bills.

Stop it, Tony!

Honey, were you able to connect
with your new roommate?

Yeah, I got connected with him
on social media.

He seems cool.

I think him and his mom are
coming over so I can actually
meet him in person.

Oh good. I'd love to meet his
mother.

Oh forget his mother. I want to
meet the boy.

Make sure our son ain't bunkin'
with a, a gangbanger or
somethin'.

Come on, dad. A gangbanger goin'
to college?

They can't learn everything on
the streets.

Stringer Bell took college
classes on The Wire.

What if he's a drug dealer or a
thief or somethin' like that?

- I read about college students
buyin' and sellin' pills.
- Mm.

Then maybe I can get a discount.

- Hey.
- Up ey ah pssh.

I'm just joking.

[Knocking]
Mm hm.

Get a buy one, get one free
ass whoopin'. Keep it up.

You must be...white people.

You lost?

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

You lost?

[Whispering] Dad.

Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, come on in.
Come on in.

[Chuckling] It's just...

that is my fault. I did not mean
to blurt out that you were
white.

It's alright. It's not a
secret to us.

What's up?

- Jerome.
- Hey, yeah. You must be Devin.

And I'm Tony and this is
my wife Lisa.

Hi, so nice to meet you both.

Nice to meet you too.

I'm Aretha.

Hm. Hey, can we just quickly
address the white elephant in
the room?

- Ah I think that my wife and
I...

Ooh Tony don't drag me into
whatever it is you're about to
say.

I think that Iwas assuming that
you guys were black

because your names are Jerome
and Aretha.

I named him after Jerome
Robbins, who wrote West Side
Story.

Okay, okay. And Aretha?

Well my mother had a thing for
the queen of soul.

Ah, i can R E S P E C T that.

Okay Tony, can you stop grilling
our guests about their names,
please?

Why don't you come on in. Grab a
seat. Let me get you a drink.

Wow, this place is great.

Aw, thanks Jerome. You're so
polite.

- Can I ask just one more
question?
- Dad!

- Please stop.
- Well it's just that this is an
historically black

- college and...
- Why would they let a white kid
in?

Well I wasn't gonna phrase it
exactly like that, but yes.

[Audience laughter]

I applied to a lot of colleges
and this is one of the ones that
accepted me.

He worked so hard on his
application and his essays.

I mean he even got a full
scholarship.

Full scholarship!

- Yeah. I got the Malcolm X
Memorial Fund.
- Aw.

The Malcolm X Memorial Fund.

[Squealing] Did you hear
that, Lisa?

We payin' for a full tuition,

and Jerome got the Malcolm X
Memorial Fund.

Ah.

[Audience laughter]
Hm. Must have been one amazing
essay.

Well, you gotta get in by any
means necessary.

[Chuckling]

Well you think there's any
chance that they saw the name

Jerome Washington on the essay
and just assumed he was a
brother?

Up nope, just me. No brothers or
anything.

No. [Chuckling]
That's cute.

No, no. I mean like a, a

Well actually he had an
interview in person, so they
know he's white.

Dad, you know that HBCU's aren't
only for black people?

They accept all nationalities.

- Yeah but Malcolm X didn't even
like...

Ah ah, that was before his trip
to Mecca.

- Good point.
- Yep.

[Instrumental Music]

Alright Lisa, what do you really
think about Devin's roommate?

Oh I like him. He's
well-mannered. Great student.

White.

So what? Devin has white
friends.

I have no problem with the boy
being white.

but it's an HBCU not HWCU.

[Audience laughter]

But I always had the dream of
Devin going off to college

and gettin' the black
experience.

Yeah, and Martin Luther King
always had the dream
that little white boys

and little black boys could go
to school together.

Okay Lisa, I think you're
puttin' the remix on Dr. King's
speech.

- You sound more like Don King.
- [Laughter] Whatever.

He will get plenty of the black
experience no matter who his
roommate is.

Okay, but don't you think it's
weird that Jerome is getting a
scholarship?

He's taking away money from some
black kid, like Devin.

Well, did Devin apply for any
scholarships?

Devin can't even spell
scholarship.

Exactly.

[Audience laughter]

But the Malcolm X Memorial Fund?

Malcolm X did say that education
is the passport to the future.

Yeah he also said he's for truth
no matter who tells it.

Truth is, somethin' just ain't
sittin' quite white with me.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

I don't get what you need help
with. We argue all the time and
you

always win.

But now I'm dealing with smart
people, so just pick a topic

and practice with me.

Okay.

So should cellphones be banned
from schools?

I believe that cellphones should
not be banned in schools.

Although it may be beneficial to
have them put away during class
time,

cell phones have many benefits.

ranging from social, to
practical, to educational.

Oka,y a I can agree with that.

You're not supposed to agree
with that. You're supposed to
debate me.

Okay, so you want me to argue
that cellphones should be banned
in schools?

Hell no.

How else am I supposed to order
Kung Pao chicken in History.

You know History made me hungry.

Okay, I think you might be
missing the point of debate.

Okay, okay, I'll pick another
one.

Oh, this one's easy.

What's the best pizza topping?

Pepperoni.

It's salty, savory, and it's
great on pizza! Case closed.

You're not supposed to say case
closed in a debate.

Pepperoni. It's the best topping
on pizza.

Hands down.

Maybe for you but not for
everyone.

If you think about the word
best, the question is best for
whom?

And pepperoni is definitely not
the best for vegetarians.

However, what I think is the
best topping

for all people is so obviously
the best

that we take for granted.

- Hm.
- And what I'm talking about is
cheese.

Uhm, dang. You're right.

Cheese is the best pizza
topping.

You're not supposed to agree
with me!

You're just too convincing.

Hey Devin, can we talk to you
for a minute?

I'm helpin' Ebony.

Ah, you weren't much help.

He's all yours.

What's up, dad?

We just wanna talk to you about
your new roommate.

What about Jerome?

Well we just wanna know what you
really think of him.

I mean like, like really really.

I think he's really really cool.

Really?

I mean I think he's really cool
too. Ah Lisa, what do you think?

Uh uh. Don't get me in this.

This is your boat to row, Sir.

Lisa, what happened to
presenting a united front?

Okay, why are we talking about
Jerome?

I just want to make sure that
you two click.

You know I think college is all
about relationships.

Okay dad, what's this really
about?

Are you trippin' off the fact
that he's white?

Yeah, Tony. Are you trippin' off
the fact that he's white?

That's cold, Lisa.

Look, I have no problem with the
boy being white.

I just think that some students
may have a problem

with him being white and you
know, also having the Malcolm X
scholarship.

[Audience laughter]

So should he have been awarded
the Rachel Dolezal scholarship?

I'm being serious.

I'm being serious too Dad. I
don't see what the problem is.

Look, I have no problem with
anybody's ethnicity. I think
everyone is created equal.

Look honey, I think what your
dad is trying to say is he

doesn't want you to be ridiculed
when you go off to school.

I don't get it.

Look, as I'm sure you know,

kids can be cruel and I just
don't want my son

gettin' sweated for roomin' with
the white recipient of the
Malcolm X scholarship.

Dad, I don't have a problem with
Jerome getting the scholarship.

Apparently he needed it so he
applied for it.

And if anyone else has a problem
with it, maybe they're racist.

[Audience gasps]

What you mean about me like that
for? I am not racist.

Hm.

Lisa, am I racist?

Hm.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

[Drumming]

[Instrumental Music]

Hey Tony, you want a beer? My
treat, man.

[Audience laughter]

Did you get those out of my
refrigerator?

Yep.

You need to throw that chunky
milk out, Tone.

Real thick. I poured me a glass
earlier. It turned into grits.

Let me ask you a question. Give
me your honest opinion.

Do you think white kids should
be allowed to go to HBCU's?

Hell nah.

Wait, what's a HBCU?

[Audience laughter]

Historically black college,
stupid.

HBCS.

What are you talking about?

You said Historically Black
College stupid. That's HBCS.

Look dumbass, should white kids
be allowed to go to black
schools?

For what? Don't they have enough
of they own already?

Okay, so you with me on this.
You damn right.

Hm.

I don't think white kids should
be able to go to college at all.

Oh whoa, whoa. [Chuckles] That's
bit much now.

What are you talkin' about? They
had their time.

They should get another leg up
in society?

Tss.

Donnie that's just reverse
racism.

It is impossible for us to be
racist against white people,
okay?

Brother, we have been
systematically oppressed by the
man

for far too long, okay?

It is time that we as a people
come together.

Alright? We have been swept
under the rug,

run amuck, led astray, and now
the man wants to infiltrate our
schools.

Can't we have nothin'?

To this brother, I say hell no.

Whatever Huey P. Doofus.

Listen, I'm tryin' to talk about
Devin's roommate

who happens to be a white kid
that's tryin' to get a higher
education

at an HBCU.

Maybe I'm in the wrong about all
this.

Whose side are you on Tony?

Stand your ground, man. Because
I'm on your side.

And if you not on your side,
that means you're not on my
side.

You're not on my side, I need to
know why you ain't got my back?

Hey shut up and hand me a beer.

[Audience laughter]

You coulda just leaned forwards
and done the same thing I'm
doin' right now.

[Audience laughter]

Look, you can talk to me about
this for hours and it can go
nowhere.

But if this is about you and
your son, maybe you should just
debate him.

We've already argued about it.

Not argued, debate, debate. Like
what your daughter's doing.

If you're right, cool. If you're
not,

he'll respect you cause at least
you heard him out.

Hm. That's actually not a bad
idea.

Now how your dumb ass not gonna
know what a HBCU is?

I'm more concerned that Devin
knows about the BBCG's at the
HBCU.

The what?

And they call me the dumb one.

BBCG's. The big booty college
girls!

Can't have a successful college
without one.

[Audience laughter]

Welcome to the Stallworth family
mock debate.

Tonight we will be debating
whether or not white students

should be allowed to attend
HBCU's.

Whether they should be allowed
to get scholarships,

and whether they should be
allowed to room with Devin.

On our pro side we have Devin,
Ebony and Lisa.

- You know. Yes.
- Ah hah. ha ha ha.

And on the con we have

- Donnie and Tony
[Booing]

[Audience laughter]

I'd also like to point out that
it's interesting that as

the only caucasian person in the
room, I don't get a say in this.

Don't you think white people
have had their voices heard
enough?

Fair enough. Okay, I'll stick to
moderating.

[Audience laughter]

Um, opening statements, huh?

I mean, I feel as if this is an
open and shut case.

Hah. Your mama's an open and
shut case.

Excuse me, Donnie.

Ah I'm, I'm sorry Lisa.

As I was saying, open and shut
case.

If there were any college that
excluded black students,

we'd be in the streets
protesting.

Therefore, HBCU's shouldn't
exclude any race.

Yeah but you're missing a
historical context.

HBCU's exist solely because
colleges weren't letting in
black students.

Yeah but their goal was never
segregation. It was integration.

Tss. Your mama's goal was
integration with me.

[Audience laughter]

Donnie, get out of my house.

I'm on your side.

You're not helping.

Tony, it sounds like you're
treating them the way they used
to treat us.

Yeah, dad. And what's the harm
of white students going to black
schools?

Aren't you glad that they're
interested in black culture and
black history?

Well first of all Ebony, there's
more to black colleges than
black history class.

Exactly. It's a regular college
with regular classes.

It just happens to have
black roots.

Okay, fine. I will concede
that Jerome should be allowed
to go there.

But what about the scholarship?

Scholarship? Ain't Aretha rich
enough to pay for her own kid's
school?

I, I believe we're talking
about a different Aretha.

I believe you should stick to
moderating and don't undercut my
argument.

[Doorbell rings]

I felt like someone was missing
from this debate,

so I texted him to come over.

- Hey Devin.
- Wow.
- Oh.

Just in time. We were just
talking about you.

Hey, we're just in the middle of
um

debating whether or not you
should be able to receive a
higher education.

I think I would've put it a
little more delicately, Viv.

[Audience laughter]

Look,

I get it.

But the truth of the matter is,
I grew up dirt poor.

And I worked really hard in
school every day of my life.

I applied to a lot of colleges
and I applied for a lot of
scholarships.

But this was the best choice for
me.

They gave me the money and they
have one of the best biology

departments in the country.

I'm looking forward to the HBCU
experience, and I'm excited to
be your son's roommate.

But I do respect your differing
opinion.

As Malcolm X once said,

I have more respect for a man
who lets me know where he

stands even if he's wrong.

Than the one who comes up like
an angel and is nothing but a
devil.

Aawww.

Resolved.

Man,

1995 Matt Damon is onto
something.

Yeah.

A you make a strong case.

Yeah Tony, and may I a make
another point?

A Devin, can you quote anything
Malcolm X said?

Malcolm X.

[Audience laughter]

Isn't that the one that ran the
school that Wolverine and
Cyclones went to?

I knew it!

- Yeah, cause...
- I see your point, Lisa.

[Audience laughter]

Jerome, it's an honor to have
you as my son's roommate.

Thank you.

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

Oh wow! This is really
happening.

My baby boy is lea, leaving!

Mom, please don't
start crying now.

We got like 40 minutes to the
airport, and I can't do no 40
minutes of crying.

I'm gonna be alright.

You should be worried about your
father here.

- What?
- No. Look I'm a man. Men don't
cry.

Then why you got them dark
shades on?

These lights are making my eyes
sweat.

[Audience laughter]

[Footsteps]

I can't believe you guys are
getting so emotional about this.

Devin's gonna flunk and be
back in this house three
weeks from now.

Okay, Ebony. Really?

do you want those to be your
last words to your brother?

Last words?

I'm not going to the electric
chair, mom. I'm going to
college.

- Honey, please just...
- It's gonna be okay.

Ah, I'm so glad y'all didn't
leave. You're still here. Look,

There's so much I didn't teach
you. I didn't teach you how to
tie a tie,

I didn't teach you how to
ride a bike,

I didn't even get a chance to
teach you...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa man.
I am his daddy. Okay, we did
all that.

Besides, I taught you all
those things.

[Audience laughter]

And I'm grateful, but I didn't
get a chance to teach him all
the uncle stuff.

Like how to unlearn everything
your parents taught you.

I gotta teach you how
to make

sure you talk to
girls properly.

I got to make sure I teach you

how to ride a dirt bike without
a license.

I never got a chance to teach
you how to siphon gas.

Also, I got to teach you be down
in college, man.

You can get you a little

[Door closes]
side hustle going.

[Audience laughter]

Well joke's on y'all.

I smell food.

[Instrumental Music]