Original subtitles

[Instrumental music]

Hey baby girl. Just in time to help us with these groceries.

How was school today?

It was fine. We didn't really do anything except take a practice test for our S.A.T.'s.

- Oh wow. It's that time again? - Mm-hmm.

I remember mine like it was yesterday.

You know I had the highest score in my class.

I remember mine, too.

Once I realized it didn't count towards my final grade, I just breezed right through it.

So, Dad, did you get high test scores, too?

Not exactly.

Once my momma saw my scores she threatened me with that belt and I

breezed right back down to school to take them tests again.

And after that, you breezed to the mailbox to pick up

that rejection letter from community college.

Well I didn't need a degree to win the lottery.

Oh, I like that option.

Okay, yeah. But we're not gonna bank on your hitting the lottery, honey.

You're gonna have to study.

Oh, I know, Mom.

That's why I wanted to ask to see if it was okay if I

could have a friend come over and help me study this week.

Oh, I like that idea.

As long as it's a real friend and not some boy

up in my house actin' like he need to study.

I remember them little dumb jocks.

I remember them, too, Tony.

You were one of 'em.

No, you remember Cornell, don't you?

He's the smartest person in my school.

He raised the average for the entire state.

I'm the one that can use his help.

I remember him.

Uh, the, the nice young man had a little crush on you?

Yeah. He's harmless.

Yeah, I really do like that idea.

And you know um, I can help, too.

Oh Mom, you don't have to...

Oh no, don't. No. I insist, actually.

You know, we'll have a really good time.

We'll make some snacks. We're going to ace this test girl.

Okay. Well while y'all are working on the S.A.T.,

D.A.D. will be downstairs taking an N.A.P.

Okay, well B.Y.E.

* Woke up and my wife said to me

* The bill collectors won't let me be

* Kids keep talking back to me.

* Family Time

* Family Time, Family Time, Family Time

[Instrumental music]

[Mumbling]

That is NOT a foul!

Donnie, what the hell?

That's what I'm talking about.

Did you see that?

Man, what are you doing in my house?

Man, go back to sleep, man!

I'm watching the game.

Hey, Lisa!

Bring me a beer!

You, you want one?

Man, you're about to get your ass whooped.

Worse than these Clippers?

Now what do you want?

And uh, my neighbor signed ford it but I want you to open it.

Why do you want me to open it?

Because if it's something I don't want I could say I never got it. Like a Jury Duty Notice.

Give it to me.

What the hell is all that for?

Fingerprints.

Give me this damn thing.

[Sighs] All right.

This letter is to certify that Donald Dutch McDonald...

Yeah, never mind. I'm gonna leave alone.

Uh, Donald Dutch McDonald is being the last living family

member listed on the last will and testament of Renaldo Jackson,

is sole to heir to the estate.

My man, I'm sorry. It looks like somebody in your family passed on.

Oh, that's my old step-grandfather.

Yeah, my grandmother married this old hustler dude and I barely remember him.

Well, he remembers you.

He left you a grip.

What's a grip? Five hundred dollars?

No, five hundred thousand.

What? Let me See that, man!

Oh! Snap, I'm rich!

Now wait, wait, there's still some steps involved.

See, you still have to meet with a state attorney to

make it official but yeah, it looks like you're good, man.

And, sorry for your loss.

What loss, man? I just came up on five hundred thousand!

Plus becoming instantly rich has a way of making all your sadness go away.

[Chuckling] Don't worry, Ton'. I won't forget about

all the little people that have helped me on my way up.

Which way up? You started from the bottom and then caught a break.

I know, I always wanted to be just like you.

Look out world! Donnie Dutch McDonald has made it!

[Laughing]

[Instrumental music]

[Instrumental Music]

I cannot believe that boy came up on five hundred thousand dollars.

His grandfather just died, Tony.

He ain't really know him.

It was his step-granddaddy. Okay, look. I'm just concerned about him.

Why? It's not your money.

Yeah, but I don't think Donnie's the type of brother that can handle all that type of cash.

I'm just saying.

Do I detect a smidgeon of hate?

Smidge?

No, I would just hate to see him blow all that money.

Hey, hey, hey! Those snacks are for the kids, Tony.

Oh please. Them kids don't kick in. I should kick 'em out.

Shut up! I just want to make sure that they have the perfect study environment.

Seriously. The slightest thing that's off could really be a distraction.

Mm hm.

I know what this is.

Boy's momma must be dropping him off.

Yeah.

She sure is.

And Cornell is the smartest boy in the class. I want to make sure his mother

knows we are just as serious about Ebony's education.

Well, I know that boy has a crush on her, so it's up to

you to keep eyes on them so I ain't gotta put hands on him.

Oh, Tony.

[Knocking]

Okay.

- Hello! - Hi!

Come on in.

Thank you.

I'm Taniesha, Cornell's Mom. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Good to meet you, too.

I'm Lisa, I'm Ebony's Mom, and this is Tony, my husband.

- Hi. - How you doin'?

You guys have a beautiful home.

Thank you so much.

Make yourself at home.

I'll go grab Ebony.

- Great. - Please do.

I can't wait to meet the world-famous Ebony.

Yeah. You know, I'm really just happy that they get to study

together, being that they are both at the top of their class.

Should make for some really good test scores.

Yeah. I'm sure it well. Cornell loves taking tests.

I sure do.

And now I get to share that experience with Ebony.

Oh!

You know, I have to admit I got the highest S.A.T. scores,

myself, so I'm hoping some of that rubbed off on my daughter.

Hey Cornell.

Hi, I'm Ebony.

Hi! You can call me Miss Taniesha.

You were right. She's a good looker, Corn.

[All] Corn?

Mom, please refer to me as Nellie!

Okay.

I'm gonna let you guys get to work. I'll be downstairs if you need me.

It was nice to meet you, Taniesha.

Nice meeting you, too.

Mm hm. All right. See you later, Corn Pops.

Uh, you know we could actually go ahead and get started.

I found a couple of my old S.A.T. books so we could do a little trivia later.

Ebony. Cornell, you sit right there.

Wow, it looks like you guys got it all together.

I'll just let y'all get started, and Cornell call

me. I'll be back to get you when you're ready.

Okay, Mom. See you later.

Oh, no Instaface while you're studying.

Okay, Mom.

Take a puff of your inhaler if you do trivia.

You know how that gets you excited.

Okay, Mom.

And no peanuts in any of your snacks.

I don't want your face to swell up like Will Smith in Hitch.

Mom!

[Instrumental music]

Can I help you?

What the? What?

[Giggling] Girl!

Donnie, what the hell is going on and why are you dressed like CeeLo Green?

Donald has requested that all people call him simply Donald from now on.

No, I think I'll just continue to call him Simple Ass Donnie.

Listen, Chubby Barkley, I was in the neighborhood, okay.

And outside of that, I just wanted to pop by your

little shop, see what you got going in here, man.

Okay? And as for the clothes... [Chuckling]

when you look good and you feel good, you become successful.

And that's when you start to dress the part, okay?

It's all a part of the new Donald.

Brother, I think you need to slow down.

Have you even gotten your first check yet?

Oh, don't worry about my money, Tony.

Okay? I signed the paperwork and everything is official.

Okay? They even gave me the keys to my step-grandpapa's bank account.

Okay, well there's usually a couple more steps involved in something like this.

Oh yeah. They said something about taxes and estate costs,

but I don't know what none of that is, so it can't be that much.

Besides, all I did was buy this new suit.

Alright, well I guess it can't be that bad. I just know how you can get.

What, me?

Come on, Ton'. All I want to do is do something nice for my friends.

Which brings me to my next point.

I kinda want to invest in your little business, man.

Try to help you grow, expand.

[Laughing]

I thought I saw a roach. Sorry about that, brother.

Well thank you, Donnie, but uh, my business is doing great actually.

Hey man, it could be doing greater. Okay?

And with my help, I see Stallworth Constructions on

every single corner in the 'hood, like liquor stores. Okay?

As a matter of fact, how about you let me take you

and your little family to dinner tonight, man?

Huh? Does that sound good? Feed your family for ya? Huh?

- Actually- - And then! I'll take care of all of it.

It's all my treat. Sound good?

- On you? - On me.

Okay. All right. Well that don't sound bad, man. Where, where you gonna take us to?

Chenihana's, Ruth's?

Oh, no, you're not ready for that, man.

I was thinking of taking you to Lisa's.

Where is that at?

On 9321 Escalon Street.

That's my house.

I know. I love the food there better than all of those places.

Tell you what, little man.

I'll buy the groceries.

You get your little wife to cook it for us. Sound good?

Donnie, how is that us treating us to dinner?

You know what? You, you know, fine. I'll take it.

All right.

Ladies, let's be out.

We got a pedicure appointment we don't want to be late for.

I'll finally get to see what it's like to have rich people feet.

Take care of yourself, Brother.

[Instrumental music]

- Lisa. - Oh! Get your hand out of my pocket!

What are you doing?

Don't do that!

You scared me.

Did I just catch you being weird again?

No, I was just making sure they didn't need anything.

Mm hm. That's not the weird part.

You're standing in the doorway looking like Malcolm X.

Shh!

I think I just heard Ebony take her last sip.

She needs some water.

Woman, would you knock it off, now?

I'm sure if they are thirsty they know how to get their own water, all right?

You can't just hover over 'em all day trying to anticipate what they may want.

You're right. You're right.

Uh oh! Uh oh!

Cornell just broke his pencil.

Will you just knock it off?

- What? - You are being ridiculous.

Oh, wait a minute. I think I just heard Ebony's stomach growl.

I thought I heard that too, Tony!

[Laughing] Baby, I'm kidding.

Good grief. let them breathe, please.

I came in here to talk to you about something.

What?

Donnie wants to treat us to dinner.

Oh! I love it. Anytime I don't have to cook is good with me.

What? Where we going? Chenihana's?

That's the thing. Um, I made a deal with him.

He buy, you fry.

Oh no. Nope. Out of the question.

Come on, baby. He likes your cooking better than any other place in the city.

Really?

Well you know I, I do what I can.

Okay, it's fine.

All right.

His assistant already dropped off the groceries.

Assistant?

I told you that boy didn't know how to handle money.

He went around spending money like Floyd Mayweather.

I hope this doesn't go to his head.

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

Last month, Nick [inaudible] slapped the hair off somebody.

[Laughing]

Good afternoon gentlemen and peasants.

What a fine day for some barbershop banter.

And quite possibly a shape up.

Donnie, what the hell are you talking about? And why you talking like Robin Leech?

Yeah, what is this, Lifestyles of the Rich and Brainless?

[Laughing]

Donald has requested that all people call him simply Donald from now on.

Donald?

Uh-uh. His Momma named him Donnie, I'ma call him Donnie.

Man, what the hell you got on?

Jacket look like my Grandmama old couch.

[Laughing]

All you need is the see-through plastic over it.

Please remove his name from the charitable gifts list.

Oh, here we go.

Oh, okay, so look. You rich now?

You gotta a, a funky fresh jacket.

A beautiful assistant, you know.

And uh, security.

Uh, Top Flight security, brother.

Don't forget the Top Flight.

Okay, okay. I see what you're doing. Okay.

So, uh, I don't know if you noticed or not, but uh,

this shape up gonna hit you for about three hundred!

[Chuckling] Oh, it's only money.

[Laughing]

Only money?

Ain't this the same brother that tried to get free haircuts in exchange for illegal cable?

Yeah, that's him.

[Laughing]

Oh, that's him. Listen. Tony,

I have been metamorphosized by my newfound success, okay?

I plan on donating to my community after I get off my book tour.

Book tour? Negro, what are you talking about?

It's called, "The Come Up: A Life Long Quest to Overnight Success".

You can find it in bookstores everywhere, especially Bamazon.

Donnie, you haven't even gotten your inheritance yet.

Um, how are you financing all this?

Well not that it's any of your business, because you're broke, but other than that,

I have, you know, made some decisions in my life.

I fixed my credit and now I have A1 credit.

Donnie, I'm telling you, you need to slow down, man.

You're gonna be just as broke as you were last week again.

Look, I said Donald has requested...

Okay, listen here Megan Hood. I'm not doing that.

Donald... or, or Larry, whatever he call himself now.

Let's call him by his real name.

Dummy.

[Laughing]

[Chuckling] Go on, guys. I can laugh at me as well.

I can jest with the commoners. It's me, Donald.

Listen, gonna do you guys a solid.

Gonna pay for everybody's haircut. How's that sound, huh?

Sound good?

Ladies, please make it precipitate.

Okay.

Door, please.

See you fellas around.

All right.

Hey!

[Instrumental music]

Okay, this one is a word problem I got online.

Listen up.

Now Johnny has a store that averages 80 customers per

hour and the average customer spends eleven dollars.

How much would he net at the end of a twelve-hour day?

Is this a section that we can use a calculator on?

Nope. You gotta work this one out in your head.

It's simple.

Eight thousand eight hundred!

Oh! Yeah! That's right, Cornell! Good job.

Uh, do you think we could work on trigonometrically based questions?

Oh, I don't think we've reviewed that section yet, but yes, we will.

Yeah, Mom. That's the section that I've been struggling with.

Well, maybe my Mom could help us. She showed me how to do

them when we worked on them earlier in the school year.

Your Mom knows trigonomics?

Uh, actually I think you're referring to trigonometric functions.

But, yes.

Okay, so then we can ask her if she can help us with that section.

I can help!

Oh, no. It's okay, Mom. His Mom's smart.

Mm hm.

What's that supposed to mean?

I was just saying that if you...

[Knocking] Oh...

That's probably my Mom.

You know what, we will have a conversation about this later.

Young lady.

- Hey, Taniesha. Come on in. - Thanks.

How's the studying going?

You know, if y'all need me, I can take off time at the Waffle Hut.

Oh girl, no. We got it!

We actually need some help with the math.

Of course.

Just a little warning. Some of these questions are hard as hell.

Some of them impossible, honestly.

You know what they say, if you don't use it, you lose it.

Well, actually it's like riding bike.

Oh yeah. You know, that's, that's kind of what I meant.

You know, math, pedaling. Bikes. Equations.

Kinda all the same thing. It's all relative.

Okay, so I was thinking maybe you and Cornell could

stay for dinner tomorrow night after we study?

Well, thank you. I think we can make that happen.

Any time I don't have to cook, I'm all in!

Okay, well that's perfect. We'll see you then.

Bye Corn Cob.

Finally, we're on nickname basis. See ya tomorrow, Ebony Eyes.

Oh boy.

(whispering) Bye.

So, I'm not smart, huh?

I was just...

That's how you feel? I never knew.

Tony, did you hear anything I just said?

Your daughter basically called me dumb.

Hey can we talk about this later please? And can you stop pacing in front of the T.V.?

I'm trying to binge watch the Hood Housewives of Watts.

Well, if I can't vent to my husband, Tony, who can I vent to? Really?

You know what? Never mind. I'll just go talk to one of my sisters.

No, no, no, no, no!

No, no. Don't get them over here, please.

I'm all ears. Come here. Sit down. Sit down.

Now. Did she say you were dumb?

She insinuated it!

Okay, okay how so?

She said Cornell's mom was smarter than me.

Maybe she is.

I'm just saying.

Maybe she's got like a Masters or something.

Look, I admit there's a lot of people smarter than me.

This isn't about you, Tony.

It's about me.

And your ego.

What was that?

And Ebony.

It's about you and Ebony.

Mm. I thought that's what you said.

Mm hm.

Oh, and just a heads-up, since I'm cooking tonight, I

invited Cornell and his mother over for dinner tonight.

Okay, so that's five of us, plus two more. How many is that?

Seven.

See baby, you're smart! And I'm good-looking. We make a good team.

Right there with you.

Okay.

[Instrumental music]

I would like to propose a toast.

To a great meal. Kudos to my cook for

preparing the groceries that I bought. [Chuckling]

To new friends, old friends and to family.

And I'd like to simply say that if anybody should have any

monetary needs, please don't hesitate to let my people know.

Cheers!

Well...

Uh, uh, uh, uh. Sorry about that.

Uh, one last announcement.

Okay, my lady friend and I would like to invite

you to a yachting excursion this weekend in the marina.

Lady friend?

I thought she was your assistant.

She's been promoted.

Cheers!

Okay, that's, that's great. We're all very happy for you, Donnie.

- But we're here- - Donald has requested-

Oh baby, you, you ain't gotta do that no more. You been promoted.

Like I was saying, I just wanted to wish Ebony and

Cornell good luck on their S.A.T.'s this weekend.

We worked so hard getting them to a place of guaranteed success.

Yes, and I'd also like to add I'm very proud of my son.

Who has been encouraging and supportive as we've made this journey together.

I don't quite understand.

Well, the truth is, I dropped out of high school.

I had Cornell at a very early age.

I had to work two jobs just to support us.

I mean, he could have went down the wrong path.

But instead, he chose book smarts instead of street smarts.

Mm.

Good job, Cornflake.

He's my motivation for me going back to get my high school diploma.

As a matter of fact, I'm proud to say that Cornell and I will

be getting our diploma at the same time.

Okay, okay. So that explains why you're so good at trigonometry.

Not to mention, I'm smart.

Hey well, well I will toast to that.

Yes.

Alright? Cheers!

Cheers!

All right, all right!

Can we eat now, please?

[Instrumental music]

[Instrumental music]

Lisa, he already knows! The girl look just like me!

What you want man, come here looking like a baked potato?

Enough with the jokes, Ton'.

All right?

I got another one of those certified letters. You already know the drill.

I need you to open it.

Man why don't you have one of your little assistants open it?

I had to let 'em go!

Why?

All they wanted me for was my money.

They worked for you.

Who cares about those details?

Look man, I just need you to open this and maybe I doubled down.

Maybe I got another relative who died.

I never liked my great Aunt Tootsie in Atlanta.

Uh, let's see here.

Oh.

Oh, damn. You might want to sit down for this one.

Is it that much money?

Yeah.

Looks like the estate you inherited has a debt of

four hundred and ninety-five thousand dollars.

What the hell does that mean?

That means you inherited the debt of half a million bucks.

Well, four hundred and ninety-five thousand, to be exact.

Well, since you holding it, you inherited it.

I didn't open a thing, brother.

It's not a jury summons, man.

The courts are going to garnish it before you even see it.

Good news is, you get to keep the change.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Let's see, five hundred thousand divided by six, if you carry the

That leaves me with five ththousand dollars, man!ave a chart for the thing.

Yeah.

DamI tried to tell than you to chill, man.s!

Those are clean suits though, brother.

What uh, what the hell are you doing?

So, I can return all these damn suits..

[Laughing]

What the... hey!

What you doin' with a picture of Lisa?

[Instrumental music]