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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:04,505 [LISA SINGING] * Jingle bells, jingle bells 2 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:07,408 * Jingle all the way Oh what fun * 3 00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:10,944 Ugh! I need a new phone! 4 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:14,782 [CLEARS THROAT] I said I need a new phone. Preferably white 5 00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:17,118 but I am open to any other color too. 6 00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:19,787 You just got that phone for your birthday, Ebony. 7 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:22,356 - It's brand new. - My birthday was four months ago. 8 00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:25,059 And Yapple's already put out three new models since then. 9 00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:28,696 And until they come up with an app that can put Christmas decorations on my tree... 10 00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:31,932 Come help your mother. Please and thank you. 11 00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:34,802 Ooh! This must be mine. 12 00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:40,774 Girl, if you don't get your grimy hands off my gift... 13 00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:42,943 - How do you figure it's yours? - Because it's big. 14 00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,045 And I'm the first born, so I get the big present. 15 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:48,482 - Well they love me more. - Impossible. You're adopted. 16 00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:49,783 [BOTH ARGUING] 17 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:52,753 Stop! Stop! Stop. 18 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:55,489 Christmas is about giving and sharing. 19 00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:58,792 I feel you mom. Giving and sharing. 20 00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:01,729 That's why I made you this Christmas cookie at school. 21 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:06,734 Aw! Thank you Devin. That's so sweet! Uh... 22 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,636 it looks like it's missing a leg. 23 00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,804 It's got a peg-leg. 24 00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:13,040 You mean you ate it's leg. 25 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,776 Giving and sharing. I gave you the cookie 26 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,879 And I shared the leg with me. 27 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:22,283 Oh-ho! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas in this piece. 28 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,818 Yeah, you picked a really good tree this year, babe. 29 00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:26,787 Well you know me, only the best. 30 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,556 Yeah, you know, that's why you married me. 31 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,191 - Well, mistakes happen. - [GASPS] 32 00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:32,360 I'm just kiddin' I'm kiddin'! 33 00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:34,562 Eww! Get a room! 34 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,097 I'm sorry? Uh, little girl, as long as I'm paying the bills 35 00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:38,999 All these rooms is my rooms. 36 00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,902 Whatever. 37 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,138 Uh-I'm sorry, did she just "whatever" me? 38 00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:45,973 Yes, she did. 39 00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:49,076 Tony, I think we have a problem with our kids and their attitudes. 40 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,179 - Hmm. - They're spoiled, they're entitled... 41 00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,481 And all they think about is what gifts they're going to get. 42 00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,316 - Hmm. I heard that, baby. - Shh! 43 00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,017 We gotta do somethin' about that. Listen, that gift looks 44 00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,019 really nice. Is that mine? 45 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,589 * Woke up and my wife said to me * 46 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:04,124 * The bill collectors won't let me be * 47 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:06,394 * The kids keep talkin' back to me * 48 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:12,266 * Family Time, Family Time Family Time, Family Time * 49 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,404 [GIGGLING, TALKING] 50 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,772 I am so glad we all could meet. 51 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,007 Here we go. 52 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,244 I'll meet anywhere where there's free spiked eggnog. 53 00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:25,246 - It is spiked, right? - Of course it is. 54 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:27,381 - Well then I'll toast to that. - That's right! 55 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:30,851 Okay. So let me get to the point. 56 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,954 When I was a little girl, the best part of the holiday season for me was 57 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,757 going around the neighborhood caroling. 58 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,759 Caroling? You mean like singing? 59 00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:41,429 Oh course! What better way to spread the joy of the 60 00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:44,265 holiday season than through song? 61 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:45,833 Oh! It's exhilarating! 62 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:49,337 You should have seen the group I put together when I was locked up. 63 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:53,774 So I was thinking we form a little group. 64 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,142 - Us? - Mm-hmm. 65 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,378 Girl why don't you grab the drunks from in front of the liquor 66 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:58,979 store. They love to sing. 67 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:03,150 You give 'em a little free Christmas spirit, and they'll dance with you too. 68 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,719 I actually think it's a really good idea, Vivian. 69 00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:08,722 And plus, you know, I'm glad somebody else remembers what Christmas is all about. 70 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:11,259 Try telling that to my kids. 71 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,760 Little ingrates. 72 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,728 See? That's why I have none. 73 00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:16,597 That ain't why. 74 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,600 But really, Tony too. All they're talkin' about is gifts 75 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,669 gifts, gifts! I mean... 76 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,704 There's so much more to the season! 77 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:26,340 Yeah. You just don't feel like goin' Christmas shopping. 78 00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:29,343 Okay, this is true. But I still want to instill good 79 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:30,878 traditional value son my family. 80 00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:34,548 Well, good luck with that. Didn't they try that with black Christmas? 81 00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:35,716 The Kwanzaa? 82 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,552 Yeah, that, that never really took off. 83 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:41,322 Oh, a lot of people celebrate Kwanzaa. 84 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,790 It's some people are too materialistic to- 85 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,058 Ladies, can we stay on point here? 86 00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:48,228 So, are we gonna put together a caroling group or not? 87 00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,930 Sure, but can we talk about this tomorrow? 88 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,399 I still gotta finish shopping for my bae. 89 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,934 Oh tell me about it! I still can't find the 90 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:56,304 perfect Mrs. Claus lingerie. 91 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,806 Todd will go crazy for green and red. 92 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,675 Well he turns into a raging bull charging a matador. 93 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:05,446 Oh! Okay, Mrs. Claus lingerie. 94 00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:08,849 Now tell me, uh, when did Mrs. Claus turn into a closet freak? 95 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,151 Where do you think Santa came up with "ho, ho, ho"? 96 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:14,087 [ALL LAUGHING] 97 00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,123 - [TONY] Hey baby, what's for dinner? - Leftovers. 98 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,691 Hmm. 99 00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:20,528 Leftovers? Did I hear you right? 100 00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,396 Uh, yes you did. I'll have 101 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,298 to cook a big dinner in a couple days for Christmas 102 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,367 and I did not feel like cooking. 103 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,636 Do I semm leftovers? Really? 104 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:31,772 Yes really. Okay, sit down Ebony. 105 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,775 Let's eat. 106 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,276 You're not gonna say grace? 107 00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:38,746 For leftovers? 108 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,314 We said that yesterday. 109 00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,115 Alright, alright, alright. Uh, grace. Let's eat. 110 00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:45,285 Wait, wait. Mom's right. Can I bless the food? 111 00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:48,922 Well of course you can honey. Go ahad. 112 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:51,525 [DRAMATICALLY] Thank you, heavenly Father 113 00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:54,728 for this wonderful meal. We loved it os much 114 00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:58,599 yesterday. We're having it again today. Mm! 115 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,134 Okay. Alright. That's enough. 116 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,270 Let's, let's go ahead and eat. [TONY CHUCKLES] 117 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,773 - That was a good grace, son. - No it was not. 118 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,675 Terrible grace son, do better next time. 119 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:10,944 Anyone else excited about opening gifts on Christmas morning? 120 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,046 Is that all you guys think about? 121 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,715 Just... gifts? 122 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,950 Pretty much. That, and girls. 123 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:20,388 [CHUCKLES] I heard that, boy. 124 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,590 Yeah, but-but, girl. Mi-mine. 125 00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,492 You know what? 126 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:28,429 We should really do something different this year. We need to. 127 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,398 Like what? A secret Santa? 128 00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,533 As long as I don't get Devin. 129 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,968 Huh. How 'bout we do a white elephant gift exchange? 130 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,737 A white what? 131 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,507 Look, i-i-it's kind of like musical chairs, but with gifts. 132 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:42,543 - Sounds stupid to me- - You sound stupid! 133 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:47,080 - Lisa, what you think? - I think we shouldn't do Christmas at all this year. 134 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:51,251 Now that's blasphemy! You been smokin' them Christmas trees? 135 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:54,321 This year, you know what we're gonna do? 136 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,756 We're gonna do Kwanzaa, 137 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:59,993 Oh! Kwanzaa sounds like fun! 138 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,095 What's Kwanzaa? 139 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,464 It's a made up holiday, baby. 140 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:06,667 Every holiday is made up, okay? What Kwanzaa is 141 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,302 is a traditional African-American holiday. 142 00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:12,272 Focuses on all the important things of the season. 143 00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:16,577 - But I-I-- You will still get your gifts Devin, okay? 144 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,878 I think. 145 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,648 You know what? I don't totally know hat Kwanzaa is... 146 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:23,651 but we're doin' it. And that's that. 147 00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,753 [MUSIC] 148 00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:29,156 [MUSIC] 149 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:37,130 So I take it you don't think Kwanzaa's a good idea. 150 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,467 I think it's an idea you should have discussed with me before you 151 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,969 decided to become the Grinchette who stole Christmas. 152 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,505 Tony come on. I just want our family to get 153 00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:47,340 more out of the holidays than just materialism. 154 00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:50,711 But I love Christmas! It's my favorite holiday! Well, next to Thanksgiving. 155 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,146 Oh, well why don't you just throw in Valentine's Day then? 156 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:56,784 Nah, I don't like that one. Oh, oh, oh! What about Fourth of July though? That BBQ- 157 00:06:56,817 --> 00:07:00,320 Is that all you think about Tony? Just stuffing your face? 158 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,456 What about the real meaning of the holidays? 159 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:05,759 I truly think our family has forgotten what it's all about. 160 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,896 Alright, okay, wha-wha-what is the meaning of Kwanzaa? 161 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,298 Oh. I'm very glad you asked. 162 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:14,468 First, you have the candles. Mm-kay? 163 00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:17,971 There's the candles. You light those, and then you ha-you wear this... 164 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:21,241 thinga-majigy. It's like a... you just, you wear it. 165 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,976 - On your body. - Lisa, you don't even know what 166 00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:24,912 - Kwanzaa is. - Okay, maybe not. 167 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,881 Maybe I don't know all the specific details, Tony, but I 168 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:30,984 do know that it's a really great holiday. It focuses on tradition 169 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,286 and good values over everything else. 170 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:37,024 Matter of fact, I have someone coming over to give us a nice little presentation. 171 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,492 Should be here any minute. 172 00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:41,529 Who should be here any minute? 173 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:48,636 The hell? Lisa, what is going on? 174 00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:53,073 What's up Stallworth's? 175 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:56,276 Ladies, go ahead around that way. 176 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,011 Just like we rehearsed now. Go on, get them flowers 177 00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:00,280 down. Y'all shoulda had them when I came in. 178 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,115 [MUSICAL TONES PLAYING] 179 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:04,117 Happy Kwanzaa. 180 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,887 Okay Donnie Mandela, get the hell out of my house. 181 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,890 Okay, D- no, Donnie, stay. Tony... 182 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:13,226 Just hear him out okay? Donnie told me he grew up celebrating Kwanzaa. 183 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,562 I sure did. 184 00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,764 Okay, well who are these random girls you got here? 185 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,833 These are not randoms Ton', okay? These are my queens. 186 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,369 Alright? This is Nia, and that's Imani. 187 00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:26,173 Or if you want their government names, it's Peaches and Mercedes. 188 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,742 Ladies, go ahead and have a seat. Yeah. 189 00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:31,745 Tony and Lisa, I am proud of you guys for shaking traditions 190 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:34,915 and having the white man not come down your chimney no more. 191 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,718 Huh? Eatin' up all your cookies, stealin' all your stuff. 192 00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:40,721 Who knows what he's doin' with your wife. 193 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,856 [MUSICAL NOT CHIMES] 194 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:47,895 Donnie what the hell you got on? Looks like you got jumped by a shower curtain. 195 00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,197 Figures you would say something ignorant like that, brother. 196 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:53,333 Because the man has your mind, brother. Huh? 197 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:56,303 He's got you thinkin' everything African is wrong. 198 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:59,239 Hmm? Let me ask you a question, Ton'. How come devils 199 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,308 food cake is black? 200 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:04,678 But angels food cake is white? 201 00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:08,816 I should be askin' you how come you don't have on a dashiki, brother? 202 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:11,819 [PLAYS CHIMES] 203 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:14,021 Man, just get on with the presentation. 204 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,856 There are seven principles of Kwanzaa. 205 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,793 Each to be celebrated one after the other for seven days. 206 00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:21,494 One is umoja. 207 00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:25,198 The other is ujima, the next is kuumba. 208 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:29,903 Yeah, and the rest are Simba, Timon, Rafiki and Pumba, right? 209 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,105 Honey, why did you invite this dumb-ass over here to school us? 210 00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,708 Look, don't be so judgmental, Tony. 211 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:37,711 Seriously now, okay. Tell us about the principles, Donnie. 212 00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:41,849 First, as I said, is actually Swahili for "unity". 213 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,250 Oh, I love that! 214 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,986 So for the whole day we should focus on doin' things together. 215 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,788 That's what Christmas is! 216 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:50,891 But unlike Christmas and the tree, we light candles together! 217 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:54,294 Ladies, would you mind handing me a candle out of the bag, pl- 218 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:57,297 Get the candle out the bag! I'm payin' you, okay? 219 00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,165 [CHUCKLES] 220 00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:01,068 My African queens. [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] 221 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,536 Help me sell this, now. 222 00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,873 Yeah, cool. 223 00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:07,474 Thank you so much. 224 00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:10,510 - Do you mind? - Oh, here. 225 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:14,648 Now what? I-I guess we uh, make a wish, close our eyes and-and just 226 00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,149 blow the candles out, like [BLOWING] 227 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:20,553 I wish Donnie and his bootleg back-up dancers would be out of my house. 228 00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:22,589 Damn, didn't work. 229 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,358 You know what Ton'? It's fine to insult me. 230 00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:27,360 But lay off my queens, okay brother? 231 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:30,030 Because Peaches and Mercedes don't play that. 232 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,565 Huh. A-alright, alright. You want me to learn a little Swahili? 233 00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:36,303 What is Swahili for "get the hell out my house and stop ruinin' my damn Christmas"? 234 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,171 [EXHALES] Lisa... 235 00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:40,640 It's always a pleasure baby, but I'm gonna roll. Okay? 236 00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:43,911 Because he's not awoke, and I don't have the time. Alright? 237 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,879 Ladies, let's be out. 238 00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:48,982 Now, but before I go... one of the principals 239 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:53,186 is uh, cooperative economics. 240 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:56,056 Yeah, so-so I'ma need y'all to break that bread. 241 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:59,226 I need y'all to break that bread now, Mercedes and Peaches ain't cheap, they in college. 242 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,862 - Man, get the hell out! - I will get you a check Donnie, here. 243 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,130 - Thank you. I appreciate it. - Thank you. 244 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,532 [CHUCKLES] Hold that for me, baby. 245 00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,200 Hey, hey would you mind 246 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:10,203 giving me cash, 'cause Peaches don't like checks. 247 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,805 Can I give you an ass-whuppin'? 248 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:14,007 You know what? Give me the check 249 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:17,577 I'll cash it, I'll pay her myself. Alright? 250 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,580 [PLAYING CHIMES] 251 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,217 [DONNIE SINGING SWAHILI] 252 00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:28,421 [RACHEL] Alright, if we're gonna be singing door to door, then we need to look good. 253 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,158 We're singing door to door, not selling door to door. 254 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,826 Okay, don't hate, you got yours out too. 255 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:33,727 Get off of me! 256 00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:36,063 I think we should all be matching. 257 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:39,066 Yes, yes. Y'all should all be matching, but since I'm the lead singer 258 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,801 I'm gonna stand out. 259 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:44,171 I'm clearly the lead singer, 'cause I'm very Beyonce. 260 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,974 You are very Michelle, and you are very Kelly. 261 00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:49,242 Vivian, you can ring the doorbells. 262 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:52,946 No, no, no, no,no. Excuse me, excuse me, there's no lead singer. 263 00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:56,183 That's the whole point of this. All four of us are indistinguishable 264 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:59,486 in complete harmony, spreading the Christmas spirit. 265 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:02,923 Um, and the Kwanzaa spirit, right? Right? 266 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,926 Oh, oh I get it, it's a black thing, huh? 267 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:09,329 Okay, well, you know what Lisa? It's a caroling group. 268 00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:10,663 Not Bone Thugs 'n Harmony. 269 00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:13,733 Okay Vivian. You know what? I'm sure 270 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:17,404 there are some regular Kwanzaa carols out there. I'm not talking about hip-hop. 271 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:19,372 - Yeah, sure. - * Go down... 272 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,674 * Moses, yeah! 273 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,010 Not talkin' about that either. 274 00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,212 I don't know off the top of my head, but I'm 275 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,714 pretty sure I'll do some research and I'll get back to you. 276 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,917 - Alright, alright, in the meantime... - Mm-hmm. 277 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,920 Why don't we just practice a classic? How about "Deck the Halls"? 278 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,188 - We all know that one, right? Yeah? [ALL AGREEING] 279 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:38,758 Okay, and... a one, and a two, and a three... 280 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,961 [PHONE RINGING] [ALL} * Deck- - Oh! 281 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:43,396 Oh! Oh, I've got to take this, sorry, one second. 282 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,598 Hello, Vivian Stallworth... 283 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:48,268 Come on y'all, let's sing it how we used to for Big Momma durin' Christmas break. 284 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,402 - Okay. [CLEARING THROATS] 285 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,404 Five, six, seven, eight... 286 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,374 [SINGING BEAUTIFULLY] * Deck the halls with boughs of * 287 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:59,146 * Holly, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la * 288 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:02,983 * 'Tis the season to be jolly 289 00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:07,387 * Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la 290 00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,990 I just caught the tail end of that... 291 00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,525 you know you guys sounded just amazing! 292 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:15,062 You know who you sounded like? Spice Girls! 293 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,429 Oh! It's brilliant! 294 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,298 - Is that, is that good? - Yeah! 295 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:21,234 Well, if you liked it, then that, [AHEM] that as all me. 296 00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,237 No, no, no, no, no! That's the beauty of this. It was all of you together. 297 00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:25,738 In complete harmony. 298 00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,908 - Come on, I want to be a part of this, so, let's try it again. - Alright. 299 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:31,644 Ready? And a one, and a two, and a three... 300 00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:35,615 * Deck the halls with boughs of holly * 301 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:39,619 [VIVIAN SINGS OFF KEY] * Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la 302 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:43,723 [VIVIAN CONTINUES OFF KEY] * 'Tis the season to be jolly 303 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:47,760 * Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la 304 00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:55,602 [VIVIAN] Wow, that sounded amazing! We were truly something else! 305 00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:57,837 It was something else, alright. 306 00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:01,008 Vivian, where'd you learn to sing, the zoo? 307 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:04,077 Oh no, I had the best teacher, I was self-taught. 308 00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:06,279 Did you cut class that day? 309 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:07,981 Huh? How was that Rachel? 310 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:08,916 - Uh, what she- - I was just sayin'- 311 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,985 Yeah, what she was just saying is that 312 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,221 we probably could all use a little bit of practice. 313 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:18,458 Maybe we're not as sharp as we used to be. Maybe. 314 00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:21,328 Well I-I would say that the three of you are, are good 315 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,397 for amateurs, but I'll gladly give you all some pointers. 316 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:27,267 Like for instance, hot tea is always good for the throat. 317 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,602 You're right. That-that's what I've heard, hot tea. 318 00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,538 You know what? Do you mind making us some hot tea? 319 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:34,307 - I could use some hot tea. - Oh! No, I don't mind at all! 320 00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:35,742 Sure! Would you like some lemon and honey- 321 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,145 - Yes, yes, it's... - Okay. Right on it. 322 00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:40,447 Okay, take your time. 323 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,951 She is horrible! What the hell was that? [SHUSHING] 324 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:49,156 Okay, somebody has to tell her how bad she sounds. 325 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,423 No! Why me? 326 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:51,658 Because this is your house. 327 00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:54,394 - And she's your sister in law. - So she belongs to you. 328 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,163 Aww, no, we can't do that. 329 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,998 No we can't, but you can. 330 00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:01,935 Look guys, this is what she loved doing as a child, it would break her heart. 331 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:03,370 Oh, I'm not singing with her. 332 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,373 Yeah, better than breaking my ears. 333 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,642 Fine, I'll do it. Fine. Gosh! 334 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:12,946 Water is a-boilin'! Hot tea on the way. So what did I miss? 335 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:15,082 Vivian, hey, uh, so... 336 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:17,084 you know what? We're uh, just 337 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,052 - thinking... - We were saying that you... 338 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,588 you know, uh, speaking of tea, maybe you should have 339 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,756 two or three or four or five bags of tea. 340 00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:26,093 Gargle with 'em. I mean let 'em just sit right- 341 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:28,295 - [GARGLING] Right there. Yeah. - A little hot water down your throat. 342 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:29,496 'Cause, you said that helps. 343 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:30,730 Oh I don't know about that. 344 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,533 Ah, no, so what we're, what we're talking about, um, all the 345 00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:36,469 female groups that we really like, you know?TLC... 346 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:39,572 The Supremes, Destiny's Child, and 347 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,475 got to thinking, and they're all trios. 348 00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:44,177 - The pattern! Three. - Ah, good one. 349 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,379 - Three. Three. - All of 'em are trios. 350 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:48,715 - Mm-mm... Lisa, Lisa! - Mm-hmm? 351 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:51,784 Destiny's child started off with four girls. 352 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:54,687 Oh, oh. You know what? You're so right! You're so right, but 353 00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:55,688 they had to drop one. 354 00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,724 - Ah, ah, ah! - They had to do it! 355 00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,727 - Bye! See ya later! - It was a necessity... 356 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,596 - Do you see where I'm gong? Do you see? - Yeah, no, I-I, no, it's 357 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,465 very, very clear. 358 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,334 But I don't think we need to let Lori go. 359 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,901 A wha-whu-me? 360 00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:11,704 You the one soundin' like a screechin' hyena! In heat! 361 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,174 Well... 362 00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:17,344 - One of us was definitely off-key. - [ALL] Yes. 363 00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:19,912 But, it's not like we're trying to get a record 364 00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:22,382 deal here, I mean, we're just having fun. 365 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,285 So I'll work with Lori one-on-one to help her get 366 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,686 - up to- - [ALL CLAMORING] 367 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,121 - God you better tell her! - Okay! 368 00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:31,124 - Somebody better tell her something! - Okay, okay, I'll talk to her. 369 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,360 - Vivian... - Mm-hmm? 370 00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,428 You can't sing. 371 00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:39,366 You sound like Little Wayne giving birth to dying cats. I'm sorry. 372 00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:41,368 Oh! 373 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:44,171 I am beyond insulted. 374 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:46,473 Lisa, do you also feel this way? 375 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,376 Uh, well, you know I think dying cats is just a 376 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:53,480 bit dramatic, but uh... definitely a cat. 377 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:57,350 Sick. Uh, cancer, probably. 378 00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:01,121 Hmm! Hmm. I see. 379 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:04,157 [SIGHS] Well, I thought it would be fun to get in the Christmas 380 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:06,759 spirit and carol together... 381 00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:10,763 but since there's no Christmas spirit at this house... 382 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,732 - Vivian... - I guess I'll be leaving! 383 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,167 - No, Vi- - Bye! 384 00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:17,404 - No, Vivian! Don't leave! - Nah, let her go, let her go! 385 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,838 - She givin' me a headache. - Aww... 386 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,940 Let her go, she got eight more lives. 387 00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:23,943 [IMITATES A CAT YOWLING] [LAUGHS] 388 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,314 [LISA] Can you two help me take down the Christmas tree 389 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,916 so we can put up our Kwanzaa display? 390 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:33,786 No! Don't take down our tree! Where are all our presents gonna go? 391 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,855 I told you we're dong Kwanzaa this year. 392 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,525 And besides, you know the big present is mine anyways. 393 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,893 You wish. Come on mom... 394 00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:43,196 can't you see we love Christma? 395 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,198 What is that you're wearing anyway? 396 00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:48,935 Oh this? This is Kente cloth, from the motherland. 397 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,437 It looks uncomfortable. 398 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:54,274 Oh no, it's very comfortable actually, and I'm gonna get you one in fact. 399 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,508 No thanks. 400 00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:58,345 You know, okay, once this family just gives Kwanzaa a chance 401 00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,680 I think we'll really like it. 402 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:03,750 [DEEP VOICE] Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! 403 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,152 Yay! More gifts! 404 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,919 Really, Tony? 405 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:10,123 Who's Tony? I'm Santa! Black Santa! 406 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,992 I noticed a lack of Christmas cheer, so I came early to 407 00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,061 spread a little joy around here. 408 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,064 Finally. Black Santa, can you talk to my mom about his whole 409 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,733 - Kwanzaa situation? - You now what? You know, forget it. 410 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:24,137 Don't even bother, okay? Kwanzaa is off. 411 00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:25,372 - Cool. - Thank you! 412 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:28,141 Yeah. You know what? As a matter of fact...' 413 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:30,009 - Christmas is off too! - Excuse me? 414 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:31,678 Yeah, we're not gonna do Christmas either! 415 00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:34,681 Kwanzaa and Christmas are officially cancelled in the 416 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:37,717 Stallworth household! 417 00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,487 Oh, come on Lisa! 418 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,523 Don't be that way! At least take a ride on my sleigh! 419 00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,827 Ooh! 420 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,696 That girl's got an arm, don't she? 421 00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:52,332 [KNOCKING] 422 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,867 [TONY] Lisa, come on, this has gone on far enough. 423 00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:57,069 Leave me alone, Tony. 424 00:18:57,103 --> 00:19:00,006 [TONY] Lisa please! At least just open the door, I'm sorry! 425 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,609 Open the door. Please. 426 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,411 Alright. 427 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,579 But you're not gonna make me change my mind, Tony. 428 00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:10,550 You didn't take what I wanted to do seriously, and I jus- I honestly jus- 429 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:13,586 You motha sucka! 430 00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:16,823 Come on, Merry Kwanzaa girl! 431 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:19,326 You said you wanted Kwanzaa, here I am. 432 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,194 Kwanzaa Claus. 433 00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:22,629 Don't even try it. 434 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,097 Come on now, girl, you know it lo-d- do I look ridiculous or what? 435 00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:28,268 No, you look good! Like a king. 436 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,470 Alright. Well go throw our dashiki on, I wanna take you 437 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,938 downstairs and show you something. 438 00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:35,208 Mm-kay. [LOUD KISS] 439 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:39,011 [MUSIC] 440 00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:41,581 [LAUGHING] 441 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:44,217 Oh my gosh, wow! 442 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,219 What is goin' on? 443 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,688 Well, you know what? We gave you a little bit of Christmas 444 00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,957 gave ya a little Kwanzaa... we call it 445 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,760 [ALL STRUGGLING] Chris-wanz-Chriswanza. 446 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,895 Girl, happy holidays! 447 00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,264 Thank you. 448 00:19:57,297 --> 00:20:00,400 Yeah, merry Christmas, mom. Sorry we only thought about gifts. 449 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:03,202 Yeah, it doesn't matter who the big box is for. 450 00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:05,838 But for real though. Who's that big box for? 451 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,474 - Yeah, who is? - You know what? Come on, just open it. 452 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:09,276 - Yeah, open that bad boy up. - Open it! 453 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,143 Come on man, we been waitin' all week for this! 454 00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:13,212 - I know it's for me. - No, its for me. 455 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,114 - 'Cause y'all are givers. - Come on, you takin' forever! 456 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:17,484 It never ends... 457 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,886 - What'd you look- - What is it? - Is it a truck? 458 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,389 Oh. It's a trip to Snowfall Mountain! 459 00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:25,392 [ALL TALKING EXCITEDLY] 460 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:28,461 Sounds great! For you guys. 461 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:31,464 Oh come on Donnie, you know you are invited. 462 00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:33,132 For real Lisa? Thank you! 463 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:35,268 Well hey, considering I paid for it, your'e welcome Donnie. 464 00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:38,271 - Man, thank you again Lisa. - Hey. 465 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,574 Happy Kwanzaa sis! 466 00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:44,511 - We've got a surprise for you! - Ooh! 467 00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:46,779 Ooh, a last gift! 468 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,915 Really mom? For real? 469 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,850 Yeah honey! 470 00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:53,219 Well first off, we made amends with Vivian! 471 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:56,222 And she's back in the group! 472 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,057 [ALL CHEERING] 473 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:01,060 And we found a Kwanzaa carol after all. 474 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,730 - Just for you. - Pass 'em on out! - I knew it! 475 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,197 - Here you go. - Thank you. 476 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:06,966 This is for you guys. 477 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:10,303 Ready? And a one, and a two, and a three... 478 00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:15,074 * Light the flame of unity 479 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:18,144 * Together we are one 480 00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:22,782 * Like the wave for family 481 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:25,885 * Together we are one 482 00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:29,789 * And so we sing Kwanzaa 483 00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:33,726 * And how it lives through us 484 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:37,664 * Flow with love [INAUDIBLE] 485 00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:42,535 * Together we are one [VIVIAN VOCALIZING OFF KEY] 486 00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:45,505 [VIVIAN HOLDS NOTE] 487 00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:54,113 [VOICE CRACKING] 488 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:57,149 [DOG HOWLING] - Enough! 39175

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