Original subtitles

[Music]

[Laughing]

There's my man!

There's my man!

[Chuckling]

What you up to, son?

I'm playing Deadly Combat.

If you're looking for Mom, she's upstairs.

Nah, this has nothing to do with Mom.

Uh, put-- put the game down for a second.

Dad, I'm right in the middle of this game!

Oh, you want to talk about games?

He wants to talk about games?

[Laughing]

Boy, turn that off!

Look at this here, now.

Do you see what I'm holding in my hand?

Two tickets.

For what?

To the event of the century.

Word, we're going to the circus?

Now I'm down, but I'm gonna bounce when those clowns come out.

'Cause Devin don't do no clowns.

Boy, I have two floor seats to the Lakers vs. Golden State...

And guess who's coming with me?

I don't know, Donnie?

No, man. You and me! Come on!

Oh, I mean that's cool I guess.

"Oh, that's cool I guess," do you hear yourself?

I mean me and my friends was just planning to go get sushi on Friday.

What the...

What kind of 16 year old boy eats sushi...

Instead of going and have hot dogs and nachos?

Do you know what they put in hot dogs and nachos?

Well who's stomach did you inherit?

Look, Dad, I appreciate the offer.

I'm just not really interested in basketball.

Oh.

Oh!

Lisa!

Lisa, call 911, my heart!

♪ Woke up and my wife said to me ♪

♪ "The bill collectors want their piece" ♪

♪ Kids keep talking back to me ♪

♪ Family time

♪ Family time, family time ♪

♪ Family time.

[Music] [ Doorbell ]

Man!

Can't I just get a little peace?

[Whining]

[Sighs]

[Door Opens]

Hi!

Hi.

Am I speaking to the man of the house?

Um, actually no, I'm the wo-man... of the house.

[Chuckles]

[Both Laughing]

Pardon me, ma'am.

Based on that lovely voice, and, well...

If I had my vision...

I never would've mistaken you for a man.

Oh, I see.

I mean, uh...

I, uh... I understand.

[Laughing] That's OK. Uh, Herbie Coltrane.

No relation.

I'm here on behalf of the Foundation for the Junior Blind.

Here we go.

Um, you know what, I'd be happy to donate to your foundation.

Just wait right here, OK?

Oh, no.

I'm not here for a donation.

Mrs.?

Oh, I'm sorry. Stallworth. I'm Lisa.

-Mrs. Lisa Stallworth? -Yes.

OK, I hope I'm not intruding, but, uh...

I'm here to share with you some of the things that the

foundation is doing to benefit the visually impaired community.

May I come in?

[Drawn Out] Um... Yeah, sure.

-Thank you. Sure. -Come on in.

[Cane Tapping On Ground] [ Lisa ] OK.

[Objects Clattering] Oh, I'm sorry.

Um... Yeah, uh...

This... Here we go.

Uh, right here.

Right... Right this way, Mr. Coltrane.

Thank you.

Just... I sincerely hope I'm not catching you at a bad time.

Oh, no no.

I was in the middle of painting an abstract painting.

See?

Uh...

I'm mean...

That's OK, Miss.

I can smell the paint, and it smells wonderful.

Uh, Mrs. Stallworth, let me get straight to the point.

What do you know about the blind community?

Oh, uh, Stevie Wonder is a living legend?

[Laughing]

Guess I should've seen that one coming.

[Both Laughing]

Mrs. Stallworth, do you realize that the visually impaired

community is making some of the biggest technological strides?

May I leave you with some literature about our advancements?

Yeah, certainly.

Here. [Laughing] Please excuse the typos.

We don't have many proof readers down at the foundation.

[Laughing]

[Lisa Laughing Nervously]

That's OK.

It's alright.

And, there are various ways we make money for those technologies.

Now I choose to sell timeshares.

Oh, I don't think my husband and I are looking for time-shares.

Oh, Mrs. Stallworth...

Timeshares choose people.

People do not choose timeshares.

Now, me?

I'm canvasing the neighborhoods, uh, introducing myself.

May I set up a meeting with you, in uh, a couple of days?

OK? Maybe to present some opportunities

you might be interested in?

I could see you on Tuesday.

[Laughs] Oh, I mean...

Well, not see.

But...

Well, you know.

Yeah, well, Tuesday...

Umm...

Tuesday, well...

[Making Noises]

OK.

You know?

Yeah.

Great! Good! I'll see you then.

OK. Uh, let me show the way out.

- No, no. - I'll show you the door.

- That's fine. You see? - You sure?

Yeah, yeah.

We have an app for that.

Oh.

[Electronic Voice] Turn Right.

See?

[Electronic Voice] Walk straight.

Oh, here we go.

Oh, oh, Mr. Coltrane, you're actually headed towards the kitchen.

[Laughing]

I'm sorry. We're still working out the kinks.

Did I also mention everyone on our development team is also blind?

[Laughing]

[Objects Clattering]

Ah... Let me just...

I'm gonna get... Oh...

[Glass Breaking]

That's OK.

That's alright.

Um...

OK.

OK.

I'll see you Tuesday!

OK, Tuesday!

Watch out for the steps!

[Coltrane Yelling]

I'm OK!

OK!

[Music]

Try it now.

What that need?

Needs more butter.

Um...

What's going on in here?

Oh, me and Ebony was just making these cookies and cakes we saw online.

I know it's a mess, Daddy, but we're gonna clean it up.

No no no, do your thing with your little cakes and cookies

and what-not, but Daddy's gonna need his cut.

Oh oh, Devin, can I hollar at you for a second?

Yeah, what's up, Pops?

You know...

Remember when I invited you to the game, but you weren't interested?

I mean, if it really means that much to you, I'll go.

No no no, I was just thinking...

It's not that you're not interested in the game,

you just don't really know nothing about it.

And that's on me.

So I'm thinking maybe we can shoot around a little bit.

Go to the park. Maybe put a hoop up in the driveway.

I mean, I guess, if you want to.

Oh yeah, do that, Dad. Then I can work on my threes.

[Laughs]

That's cute, baby.

But, uh...

I'm trying to get Devin a little more interested in the game.

Oh, see, no offense but he can't even dribble with his left hand.

And?

I ain't even interested in basketball like that anyway.

Dad, if you want to hang out, can we go to Comic-Tron?

That comic book convention that's in town.

I don't know if I want to hang out with you enough to put on a superhero costume, son.

But, um...

You know what?

Back it up for a second.

What you know about left-hand dribbling, Ebony?

I know Steff Curry's got handles with both hands.

[Laughs]

Oh, you like Steff Curry, huh?

Are you kidding me?

He's the greatest shooter in the game.

Probably of all time.

What...

Exactly.

Will you tell him that?

I got tickets to the Lakers vs. Golden State game and he don't even care.

What?

How did you get those?

Well, I got a client with the hookup.

I'd love to go!

Oh, I see, you want to see the cheerleaders.

But look, no daughter of mine is gonna be a Laker girl.

Mmm-mmm.

Now what about the WNBA?

I could be the next Lisa Leslie.

There is a God.

Ebony, I never thought I would say this, but...

Would you like to go to the Laker Golden State game with me?

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Oh, you like the son I never had.

[Laughing]

[Refrigerator Door Slams]

Uh, no offense, Devin.

[Chanting Together] Curry! Curry! Curry! Curry! Curry!

[Music]

[Music]

Lisa, I'm telling you, I--I just don't understand that boy.

Oh, so what, Tony?

Devin's not into sports.

What is the big deal?

[Questioning Noises]

Did you hear yourself?

Sports is what men bond over, Lisa.

Me and my Daddy bonded over it.

Him and his Daddy bonded over it.

Him and his Daddy, and so on and so forth since gladiators used to fight at the colosseum.

I learned how to cuss from watching my Daddy yell and throw

things at the TV during the Super Bowl.

OK, well did you ask Devin what he is interested in?

Oh, he mumbled something about comic books, but listen...

Ebony?

She loves sports.

Man that girl knows all the stats on the leading NBA point guards.

And she can throw the Hell out of a football.

Really?

Spirals, Lisa.

Straight every single time.

She's like Cam Newton with bangs.

Whatever you did with that girl, you did the right thing.

[Both Laughing]

I'm gonna take her to the game with me on Friday.

Oh, now OK be careful...

You don't want to hurt Devin's feelings.

He's cool with it.

He told me that while he was baking a cake.

And Ebony is all into architecture.

She loves construction.

Maybe Devin's just an artiste like his mother.

Oh, speaking of that...

Um, when I was painting earlier, I got a very strange visitor.

Damn, already?

Well, at least we know you ain't pregnant again.

Not that, Tony.

A very nice, blind gentleman stopped by.

Was he sure he had the right address?

Yes.

Yes, Tony.

And he was actually selling timeshares.

Timeshares, Lisa?

They using blind people to sell timeshares?

The Man.

Always got a trick up his sleeve.

Please tell me you told him no.

Oh...

You know...

[Making Weird Noises]

I didn't exactly say yes or no, you know?

I just, we're gonna meet him Tuesday for...

Talk about it.

Well you need to talk about how to tell him no.

Tony, I haven't even heard him out, yet.

You know what, they shouldn't use blind people to sell timeshares.

They should sell timeshares to blind people that don't know how to read the fine print.

It's a scam, Lisa!

[Music]

Hey Dad, thanks for letting me hang out at your work place.

Oh, no problem, baby.

Sorry it's not that exciting around here.

My sign flipper got hit by a taco truck.

Oh...

That's OK, I just like seeing what you do.

[Laughing]

Alright.

Well, why don't you have a seat at Melinda's desk and I'll be with you in a little bit?

OK.

Um, hey Dad, what's this?

Oh, that is a blueprint.

It's like a drawing of, uh, what we're gonna build.

Well, yeah, I know what a blueprint is, Dad.

I was asking of what?

Is this residential or commercial?

[Laughs]

Uh, residential.

I prefer that over commercial.

Hmm, yeah, we need to talk about that.

We need to get your bottom-line numbers up.

Who are you?

I'm your daughter.

[Door Opens]

Hello there, Tony.

Mr. Hobson, how's it going?

Alright.

Ah, you got a new receptionist?

They're getting younger and younger.

Next time I come in you're gonna have a baby coloring the blueprints.

[Laughing]

No, uh, that's my daughter.

Uh, she's actually here doing a little Daddy-daughter day.

So, she's just hanging out.

She's actually holding the blueprint we need to go over.

Ebony, could you pass that over please?

[Paper Rustling]

Hmm.

I like what your architect did with your floor plan, but...

The bathroom isn't exactly how I see it.

Well there's not really a whole lot of room on that side of the property.

Hmm.

May I make a suggestion?

[Laughs] Sweetheart, Daddy's working.

I'll be with you in a second.

I was gonna say if you move the bathrooms here, it would allow for his and her walk-in closets.

That's actually not a bad idea.

But I don't want to pay anymore.

Well you wouldn't unless if you were thinking something more extravagant, like heater floors.

Hmm.

Ah... Ebony, uh, the price has already been set.

But, everything's negotiable, and I can tell Mr. Hobson is the

kind of man who likes the finer things.

Mr. Hobson, wouldn't your wife like to step out of the shower onto heated marble floors?

You must know my wife.

[Chuckling]

I guess I hadn't though of that, but it makes sense.

How much extra would that be?

Oh, uh...

Well you're already building a whole entire house.

What's a couple of extra G's?

[Both Chuckling]

Oh, you got a sharp one here.

Uh, what the Hell...

Throw in the uh, heated floors.

I got, uh, pick my wife up from the nail salon.

She hates when I'm late.

[Both Laughing]

Let me know if this one has any more ideas.

Will do!

[Door Closes]

Ebony...

Sorry, Dad, if I interfered.

I know I may have been out of line.

Uh, actually I was going to say I'm very impressed.

As far as I'm concerned, every day can be "bring your daughter to work day" around here.

[Both Laughing]

You got any more ideas?

Oh alright, you see this pool right here?

You move it up here...

[Music]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna get you this time, you little buster.

Man, uncle Donnie, you don't even know what's coming to you.

Gah!

Hah!

Come on! Ha!

Hey!

Hey, what's up?

Gah.

Um, what ya'll two doing out in my man cave?

And what the Hell are you wearing?

[Sighs]

Devin put me up on this new Deadly Combat game, man.

I tried to put my dad on to it, but he wasn't interested.

Pow!

Gotcha, uncle Donnie!

Come on.

OK, I'm just a little confused.

Deadly... Combat... it's a video game, Tony.

I can't teach you everything, brother.

I know what a video game is.

I'm just trying to figure out why ya'll are dressed as rejects from "Meteor Man."

Me and uncle Donnie dressed up for Comic-Tron.

Uh, y'all went to Comic-Tron together?

Yup.

Awe man, hey, Devin...

Yo, this is crazy.

We saw his female superhero...

She ripped her cat suit in half, man!

Everything popped out.

It was pow over here, pow over there...

Everywhere.

I saw her [inaudible] myself.

Anyway, you should've been there, Tony.

Naw.

It's not his thing.

You know...

He wouldn't be interested in that.

But I'm glad you came with me, uncle Donnie.

It was one of the funnest days of my life.

Hey, in your life?

In my life.

In your whole life?

Entire.

That's crazy, man.

Uncle Donnie.

I like that, nephew.

Wait, I'm about to get you this time, nephew.

Naw, naw...

Well, uh, um, I'm glad y'all had a good time... together.

[Banging on Controller]

Is my controller plugged in?

Look, I'm... I guess I'm gonna just go upstairs, then.

We heard you the first time, Ton'.

Would you speed it up, brother?

If you can just walk a little bit quieter, man...

That would really help us out a lot, alright?

Cool!

[Controllers Clicking]

Goodbye, son.

Bye, Felicia.

[Music]

[Music]

[Doorbell Rings]

Oh, hello Mr. Coltrane.

Please, call me Herbie.

Oh, OK, uh now watch your step... please.

[Electronic Voice] Turn left.

Oh, OK.

Got your app.

[Electronic Voice] Turn left.

Gotta love that app!

Here we go.

Right this way. Yeah.

OK, alrighty.

Here we go. I got you.

Right here. Right here.

Alright.

There you go.

Alright. Whew!

I just wanted to say...

Before you get too comfortable, Herbie...

Um, you know I appreciate all your efforts.

And I talked it over with my husband and we're just...

We're not interested in timeshare right now, you know?

Things are just a little tight.

I see.

You do?

No, I don't!

I mean...

Uh...

But but but seriously...

I understand your point.

But you see, Mrs. Stallworth, it just breaks my heart when I see

a family assume that they don't have money...

Or time for a vacation.

Well I mean I'd like to, but...

There are...

A lot of places in this world that I would like to see.

Beach shores, purple mountain majesties...

But I guess it just wasn't in the cards for me.

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

It's the fault of that drunk driver that robbed me of my vision.

You were in an auto accident Herbie?

I was walking down the street and I...

I saw this little girl.

And this car was speeding toward her, and I acted on impulse...

And I knocked her out of the way.

[Objects Clattering]

And then the car knocked the vision right out of me.

I'm so sorry to hear that, that's...

Really unfortunate.

Uh... Mrs. Stallworth, now...

May I call you Lisa?

Uh, uh, yeah.

Yeah.

Lisa, I understand your dilemma.

But you know what I would like?

I would like to see you and your family enjoy life.

Because you never know when something's gonna happen.

Have you ever been to Tahiti?

No.

How 'bout Turks and Caicos?

Well, I...

Bam!

I can't, you know?

Yes you can!

And here's how...

We have a special on a one-week villa for you and your family

anywhere in the world for the rest of your life.

And here's the kicker...

There's no down payment!

I'm not sure I understand.

Let me explain the details.

[Music]

[Both Laughing]

You wrong, uncle Donnie.

But what she say next, though?

Man, she had this hot dog bun, I don't want to get you in trouble.

I'll tell you that later.

Look, your teacher is bad.

You need to give her my number, on the low if you can...

No problem, I got you uncle Donnie.

Devin, where have you been?

Oh, we was just at career day at my school.

Wait, career day?

Yeah, you know, where kids take their dads to the school and they talk about their careers.

I know what career day is, but I have two problems with that.

One, you're not his Dad.

And two, you ain't got no damn career.

It's tough out there, Tony.

Kids need to know that, man.

Yeah.

His story was so good...

So compelling.

Yeah, man, I uh...

Just told them about how it was growing up on the streets, and uh...

Selling my body for money.

All those 40-below nights man, mmm!

You grew up in LA.

So I embellished a little bit, alright?

It was all for Devin, man.

I had to look out for him.

I didn't want to let him down.

Why didn't you ask me?

You know, I figured you was too busy shooting hoops with Ebony, so I asked uncle Donnie to roll.

I hope I ain't stepping on no toes or nothing, Tony.

[In High Pitch] No. No no. That's cool. That's cool.

You sure?

'Cause your voice got high?

[Still High Pitched] No, I'm good. I'm good.

Alright, cool.

Hey, so tomorrow, man, I'm gonna pick you up from school, right?

Man, we're gonna hit up the race track, then I'm gonna take you

by this girl I'm dating Lulu's crib...

She got a daughter about your age, you might be down...

Anyway, we'll talk later.

[Handshake]

[In Unison] Ah!

Woah, woah!

That was our thing.

Mmm, you know you sure you still remember it?

Well can I go to the race track with y'all?

Hmm, you sure you're not too busy?

On that note, I'm gonna roll.

[Door Closes] [Music]

[Music]

Lisa, you did what?!

I bought the timeshare, Tony.

It was no down payment.

What does that even mean?

I don't know, I mean he said something about a balloon payment or something like that.

Something like that in the end, a balloon payment, I don't know.

Lisa, you call that man back and undo whatever you did.

Come on, Tony, but I can't.

The man is blind.

He lost his sight saving a little girl.

That's not right.

Ok, well if you can't do it, I know somebody that will.

So, Mr. Coltrane, I understand this is a really great deal, and

I appreciate what you we're trying to do...

But I spoke with my husband and...

We're gonna have to decline the timeshare.

Well, I'm afraid it's not quite that simple, Mrs. Stallworth.

You see, you signed a contract.

And it's binding by law.

[Laughs]

Besides, I think you're gonna love your vacation getaway.

I really do.

Hmm.

Hey, Mom.

Oh, hey baby.

Say hello to Mr. Coltrane.

Hi, Mr. Coltrane.

Hi, little girl.

Yeah, we were just talking about that, uh, timeshare I told you about.

I was explaining that a contract...

[Clears Throat]

Is a contract.

But aren't all contracts meant to be broken?

Isn't there a grace period to get out of it?

Not when you sign on the dotted line of the "no grace period" clause there isn't.

Oh, well let me see.

Now...

Oh, no problem from what I can see here.

She didn't sign on the dotted line.

What you talking about?

She signed it right...

Oh, signed it right where, Mr. Coltrane, huh?

Uh...

Think fast!

Ooh!

Oh my God!

It's a miracle!

I I I've been healed!

[Laughing Hysterically]

I can see!

You're a fake!

You are a fake!

No, I swear to God!

I have not been able to see until right now!

Don't need that!

I'm going to the spot!

[Singing]

Uh...

Well then, Mom...

We should call all our neighbors and let them know a miracle has

happened in the Stallworth household.

How about we keep this just between us?

Oh, no, I think they should know all about this miracle.

But I think I can get you out of that contract.

How 'bout that?

[Laughing Hysterically]

How 'bout it?

How 'bout it?

[Continues in Hysterics]

Where are you going, Mr. Coltrane?

I'm gonna go let the world know that a miracle has happened in this house.

By the way, baby, you are banging!

[Continues Laughing]

Thank you!

[Music]

Awe, come on.

[Video Game Sounds] Where's my kick?

Oh, there it is. Mmm. In your face.

Hey, what's up, son?

Hey, Dad.

Whatcha up to?

I was just coming to get my game console, but I can come back.

No no no no.

Sit down, man, I want to talk to you for a second.

Why are you limping?

I sprained my ankle trying to dunk.

Dunk?

I thought you didn't like basketball.

I don't, but I know you do.

Look, son, I know I was acting really selfish.

I mean, how can I expect you to be interested in any of the things that I like if..

I'm not interested in what you like, so...

It's not on you, it's on me.

Thanks, Dad.

It means a lot.

Come on.

Is that why you're down here trying to learn how to play Deadly Combat?

Yes.

[Laughs]

This game is hard, man.

Naw, it's easy.

Let me show you.

Well, I know how to kick. It's this one.

No, no man. It's all about the combo move.

Now look, press this and this one...

Alright...

[Sound Effect]

Oh! That man just shot a fireball!

I'm saying!

Ok, so what else are you interested in, other than video games and comic books?

Girls.

I feel you on that one.

[In Unison] My man!

Alright, let's run it back...

[Music]