All language subtitles for Family.Time.S04E01.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

Lisa:
Oh, babe, you know what I
as thinking we could do today?w

Oh, Lord.
How much is it
gonna cost me?

It's gonna cost you
a wife if you don't
check that tone, Tone.

Now, I was thinking
you, me and the kids,
we could pile up in the car

and go pick up
some things at Costlo.

Costlo?
You mean "Costmo"?

Every time we go there,
it costs me at least $400.

Besides, I got to be at
the barbershop at noon.

So you're saying
you'd rather

go to the barbershop
than spend time with me?

I wouldn't call "spendin'
time with you" pickin' up
a 40-pack of toilet paper.

It's just
a little man time.

Yeah, so you saying
they go to the barbershop

to get away
from their families?
That's what men do?

I wouldn't say
"get away."

I'd say just
"be not near."

It's just a place
for fellas to talk
about man stuff.

It's like
poor man's therapy.

Hmm. You sure
it's not a place for
desperate single women

to prey on
freshly-groomed men?

Well, that too.

- ( plate clatters )
- I'm joking, Lisa.

Look, no woman would
go to a barbershop

to try to pick up
a man.

We get
ignorant over there.
We dabbin' on 'em,

"runnin' off
on the plug twice."
We get it in.

Oh. Okay.
Well, you know what?

You better start
spendin' more quality
time with your wife, Tony,

or you'll have
more "man time"
than you'd like.

Please,
you can't resist this.
I'm better than Costlo.

"Big package,
reasonable price."

* Woke up and my wife
said to me *

* "The bill collectors
want their piece" *

* Kids keep talking back
to me *

* Family time

* Family time,
family time *

* Family time.

So I'm dating
a little person, right?

I pick her up,
take her to the door

just to let her know
I'm a gentleman.

( laughing )

Rodney,
you crazy.

Hey, man, can you
finish cuttin' my hair,
bro, and concentrate.

I need my line-up
straight this time.

I always keep you
straight, Tony.

You know I'm here
with a straight razor
right now.

All right.
You just mad 'cause
you bet on Minnesota.

I don't know why you
would bet on 20-to-1
underdogs anyway.

Loyalty.
That's why.

Got to be
loyal to a team, plus
I always go with my gut.

Well, my gut is tellin'
me you need to un-ass
that $25 you owe me.

And Donny, you
owe me $10 too.
Pay up.

Hey, leave me out of this.
Rodney, pay the man, dude.

It was
your idea to bet
on Minnesota.

I don't know why
you two keep gamblin'.

Y'all need to quit-- except
when you play poker, 'cause
I like to take y'all money.

Oh, speaking
of poker night.

Your house tonight?

No. I can't do poker
for a little while, man.

Lisa's mad at me
'cause I decided to
come to the barbershop

instead of going
grocery shopping
with her and the kids.

Let me tell
you something.
My ex-wife,

she used to
try to make me
go shopping.

I said, "Nah,"
but I went,

but I was sitting in
the car the whole time

just to let her
know what type of man
she dealing with.

That must have been
torture.

Last time you was married,
horses was drivin' cars.

And she talked about men
using the barbershop

as an excuse to get away
from they family.

Nailed it.

Man, I spent so much
time at the barbershop,

I just learned how
to cut hair so I didn't
have to go home to her.

What she don't realize
is that if she came here
with me,

she'd hate it.

Well, if that's the case,
the solution is simple.

Yeah.
Bring her into the shop
with you one day

and show her
how it really is.

Now that's
a dumb-ass idea.

- I'm just gonna say it.
- Think about it, Tone.

Right now,
she's imaginin'
the worst.

When she sees we just
sittin' around here
talking about

who got real ones
and who got fake ones,

then she'll
just want to pick up
her stuff and leave.

See? And just like that,
she won't ever want to
come back again.

Boy, you dumb
as a box of rocks.

No.
Dumb as he is,

that's actually not
a bad idea, bringin'
Lisa around here.

Cheryl:
And extend forward.

Lisa, you can bend
your knee if you need to.

Don't hurt yourself.

Listen, you know,
I can't believe I
let y'all convince me

to do yoga
from some guy
on an infomercial.

Oh no.
He's not just some guy.

He was on the
"Dr. Phil Harvey
Morning Show"

promoting his book,
"What Men Want."

Number five on the list,
men want a flexible woman.

Okay.
Women want
that too.

Shoot. I'm in the best
shape of my life 'cause
I done signed up

for so many
yoga classes
to meet chicks.

You know, Dr. Phil Harvey?
you realize that you're
taking advice

from a man
that's been
divorced three times.

Well, that's
two more times than
I've been married.

Touché.

You should be taking
advice from someone

who's married
and who knows you,
like me.

Well, as a newly-divorced
woman, I'll take all
the help I can get.

What would you
suggest?

Well, my
first suggestion is
that we take a break.

And what is it that
you're looking for
in a man, Cheryl?

Well, like Jack,
he needs to be
successful,

wealthy, handsome,
over six feet tall
with abs

and unlike Jack, he
needs to not be a dirty
little cheating scumbag.

Little things.

Girl, have you been
readin' them ratchet
romance novels again?

Well, yeah, Cheryl.
Good luck finding
a man

with all of those
qualities just
bunched into one.

I mean,
my man won the lotto,
and we still have problems.

That's 'cause
he looks like
a bobble head.

Let's get back
to work.

- Cheryl: Okay, ladies.
Tummies in.
- Tummies in.

All right. All right.

Y'all getting down with
a little bit of yoga, huh?

Yeah. I used to get down
with the Bikram myself.

Really? I have
an extra mat, Tony.

Tony, you do know
Bikram is hot yoga?

Yeah, well it's
hot as hell outside.

Whatever. The last
time you exercised,
you had a PE teacher.

Last time you
exercised, you won
the Kentucky Derby.

At least I can walk
to the mailbox without
running out of breath.

I wish you'd run out
of breath right now.

So, Lisa, listen.
I'm going to the
barbershop on Saturday

and wanted to know if
you want to roll with me?

Gosh.
That is so sweet.

Jack would
never let me go to
the barbershop with him.

Of course,
that's probably
because he was going

to his secretary's
apartment that we
were paying for.

Maybe she could cut
a mean fade.

You need to fade that
mustache hair, "Leon."

Anyway, so you want to
roll with me or what?

I mean, you sure
I'm not interrupting
your "man time"?

No, no, girl.
You should be able to roll
with me anywhere I roll.

Of course, Tony.
I'd love to go.

Um, a room
full of men?

Any of them
over six feet tall?

Uh, no. Some of them
are old with receding hairlines.

How you going to compare
you being single

to me being single?
It's two different eras.

It's like comparin',
uh, Mike Tyson
in his prime to Ali.

Thanks,
young blood.

And we all know
Tyson would kill him,
am I right?

- Got that right.
- You know what I mean?

Anyway, back to the
more important things
that I want to talk about.

You know
what I'm saying?
These women.

Uh-oh.

So it's this one
big-booty broad
I met up on--

Like a
swole one, though?

Fellows,
fellows, fellows.
What's up, baby?

Hey, Tone.

Hey, hey.

So what were you guys
talkin' about, man?

We can hear y'all
all the way out
in the parking lot.

Um...

Uh, we was just
choppin' it up.
Chop, chop.

Yeah, but now that
we got a lady in here,
let's be a little...

Oh, oh no. Please
don't change the subject
just 'cause I'm here.

By all means,
be yourselves.

- Don't change.
- Okay. All right.

All right.

So Rodney was over
here tryin' to give me
relationship advice

when the only women
he date come to life
inflated.

First of all,
leave "Rhonda"
out of this, okay?

And now, since we
got a lady in the house,

maybe she can help
settle this?

Oh, ask me anything.
I can handle it.

Would a woman
rather have a new-age
simpleton like Donny

or distinguished
gentleman like myself?

Old school, please.

Your old ass wouldn't stand a
chance against a young player
such as myself.

- Uh, Tony, would you mind?
- Go ahead, do your thing.

-Brother do your thang
-Cool. Hop your ass up.

We need you over there.

All right, Lisa.
I'ma be me, and you be

some random trick I met
at the club, all right?

Ahem. I come up
to you like this...

"Hey there, sweet thing.
How about you give me
your 'Funstagram' name

so I can drop
some smiley faces
in your inbox

until you
call me back?"

And a kiss?
Yeah, all right.
You done. Go.

- I'm not-- I wasn't finished.
- No, no. You finished.

Tone, Tone, do you mind
before you sit down?

I'll just show
how I get down.

Ahem.

Hey, baby girl.

Couldn't help but
notice you sitting here
looking all luxurious.

You know what I'm
sayin'? You have to be
a two-time felon.

- "Two-time felon"?
That's whack.
- Man Really whack.

One-time felon
because you have
stolen my heart,

and two-time felon
'cause you killin' me
with that dress.

All right. Okay.
Yeah, you done too.
Thank you.

All right, Lisa.
So which one of them
was the corniest?

Uh, I mean,
that's pretty tough,

because both of you
were pretty bad.

Uh, Donny, you were
speaking in some type
of social media cursive.

Most women like
to talk, and the way
you approached me,

it didn't allow me to
tell you about myself.

- All right.
You know?

No game.
I tell you that
all the time. Zero game.

Oh, and Rodney,
"game" is not what
we're looking for.

Those cheesy pick up lines
are the fastest way to get
a fake number.

My baby shot
'em both down.

I mean, I mean,
if you not gonna keep it
real with me,

how am I gonna give you
the real digits?

Donny:
How she gonna give
the real digits?

Women want a man
that's just comfortable
bein' himself, you know?

Whatever that may be.

So, I'm just supposed
to walk up to a woman

and be like, "I'm
Rodney.

I got two ex-wives
that hate me, and
I'm a barber"?

That would work
better.

And me-- what?
I'm supposed to
just come up and say,

"Hey, I'm Donny.

And I know
you married to
my best friend--"

All right. You'll be married to
this ass-whoopin' in a minute.

Keep it up.

- Lisa, you ready to go?
- Uh, yeah.

No, no. Lisa can stay.
Girl, get over here.

Give you a quick
line-up.

Really, you know,
women just-- they
don't want a lot.

Just a really emotionally
available type of man...

Whoa. Whoa.
You're in bed early.

- Yep.
- Everything okay?

Yeah. Everything's okay.
Everything okay with you?

Whoa. Whoa, Tony.
Why so defensive?

Okay. I think
I get it.

You're mad that I
had so much fun at the
barbershop this morning.

Ain't nobody mad 'cause
you had so much fun at the
barbershop this morning.

I'm mad because you're tryin'
to turn the barbershop

into a daytime
talk show.

What is wrong with me
givin' your friends some
good advice, Tony?

What's wrong?
What's wrong, Lisa?

I'ma tell you what's wrong.
What's wrong is

we don't go to the
barbershop for advice.

We go to the barbershop
so we can talk about

- how y'all get
on our damn nerves.
- Excuse me?

You heard me.
You had no business getting
into the fellas' business.

All right? Now, usually
we talk about sports.

We talk about money.
We talk about--

- Sex.
- You damn right
we talk about sex.

- Booties clappin'
and everything.
- Ugh.

You know why?
You know why?

Because the barbershop
is the man's sanctuary.

It's a place
free from talkin'
about emotions and feelings.

Okay. Sorry.

Didn't mean
to step on your
little toesie-woesies.

Look. First of all,
ain't nothing little
about me, Lisa.

Hmm. Look. If it means
that much to you, Tony,

- I will not go
to the barbershop.
- Thank you.

After Tuesday.
- Say what?

Yeah. You know,
I promised Donny

I would go give
his chiropractor
some advice.

So now you throwin'
seminars?

Look, I am not giving
any advice

or doing anything
I wasn't asked
to do, okay?

Just puttin' in my two cents.
And can I give you
some advice?

Yeah. Might as well,
"life coach,"

if I want to keep up
with what's going on
at the barbershop.

Uh, your wife is trying
to communicate that she
wants to make up.

If I were you,
I'd let that happen.

All right, fine.
I'll do it.

But not 'cause you said so,
but 'cause I want
to do it.

Mm-hmm.

Cheryl, this is
some good wine.

- What is it?
- Thank you, Rachel.

Sauvignon Blanc.
French, but locally grown.

Pairs lovely with
a brie cheese, Lisa.

Yeah. I don't know
if we have brie cheese,

but we definitely
have string cheese
for the kids' lunch.

Oh, Lisa.

That lottery money
must be runnin' out.

Ladies, did I mention
this was a gift
from a suitor?

Really?
Is it serious?

Well, we went
on one date.

Hmm, so you finally
found a tall, rich guy
with abs?

Not exactly, but I
did take your advice,

and I turned down
my standards and gave him
my real number.

Yeah?
So how was the date?

Not bad.
He was quite
a gentleman.

Well, he certainly knows
how to pick out a great wine.

Oh no. I picked it out,
but he paid for it.

Okay. That counts.

There's just something
about his ruggedness
and his honesty.

It really makes me
feel like I can
let my guard down.

Does he have
a sister?

I'm so happy
for you, Cheryl.

I really have you
to thank for it.
You know what?

I feel like being crazy.
Let's get the stringy
cheese.

- Oh, turn up!
- Stringy cheese coming up.

( laughing )

( faint cheering )

Ha-hah!

Aw, man. This is
what I needed, man.

A little game,
little beer.

What I want to know
is who's in charge
of the snacks?

Unless you
bring snacks,

you can't complain
about my snacks.

Hey, I ain't saying
a word, 'cause I know
I didn't bring nothin'.

Lisa bought the
biggest bag in the
world from Costlo,

so we going to be
eatin' these chips

for at least
till the playoffs.

Hey, speaking of Lisa,
hey, Rodney,

how you been making out
since "the game whisperer"
set you up?

I'm glad
you asked me, dawg.

I been on fire.

I went out with this fine
little thing the other day,

and we goin'
out again. Bam!

What? So you
catfished somebody,
and it actually worked?

Man, you are a genius.

And you look
like a porcupine,
but what's that about?

Just 'cause we ain't
at the shop don't mean
I won't cut you.

All right. All right.
( nervous laugh )

So, uh, what else
happened, man?

Well, nothing, man.
It's crazy.

I was just being myself
instead of saying

what I thought
she wanted to hear.
It worked.

Speaking of hear,
I'm tryin' to hear
the game.

- Oh. All right.
- So what else did Lisa
tell you?

She was just
breakin' it down
how you gotta--

All right. All right.
Enough of the Lisa talk.

I will not have
relationship conversations
in my man cave.

There's got to be
a rule in the man handbook
somewhere about that.

Hey, man.
Your girl is good.
Sh should write a book.

- As a matter
of fact, where she at?
- None of your damn business.

But this is the man cave.
The family room is upstairs.

Why you gettin'
so upset?

You know, Lisa said he get
a little sensitive sometime.

It's probably because
of the widow's peak.

With the lisp
and everything.
That's how she said it?

( lisping )

Oh! Oh!

Oh!
That was nice!

Now, that's what
I'm talking about.
Yes, sir!

Uh, hey, babe.
I'm about to order
some pizza.

So y'all
want something?

Hell, yeah, we
want some pizza.

Anything's
better than these
stale-ass chips.

Hey, Lisa.
I just want
to thank you

for the great advice
you gave me, man.

It worked
like a charm.

- See?
- Got a second date.

Told you.

All you got to do
is listen to her.

She'll tell you
everything you
need to know.

Hey, why don't you
join us?

Yeah.
We ain't doin'
nothin'

but sittin' here
watchin' the game.
Come on.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold up, man.

No, brother.
You hold up, all right?

I got a date with the
receptionist from the
chiropractor's office,

and my budget
is not where it
needs to be.

Can you help
a brother out?

I know
you ain't askin'
my wife for money.

Of course he
isn't, Tony.

He just needs a
little advice from
"the game whisperer."

- So, now...
- Tony: Y'all crazy, man.

- Last time
we talked about the--
- Excuse me.

( TV audio off )
- I got to hear this.

Yeah, when you
were talking about
those emojis...

Mm-hmm.

When you said
we were eating out,
I mean, I didn't know.

I thought we
might be going
to a drive thru.

( both laughing )

Well, you know
sometimes you gotta
step your game up.

In fact, tonight,
feel free to order more
than just appetizers.

Garcon?

- Top me off, player.
- Yes, sir.

There it is.

- Mm-hmm.
- Waiter: Would you
like some?

- I'm good, thank you.
- Tony: Thank you.

- Enjoy.
- ( Tony chuckles )

- Tony, everything okay?
- Hmm?

( squeals )
No, no, no.
Everything's fine.

Everything's fine.
I just, uh, you know,
how do I put it?

Uh, I don't want you
hangin' out with my
friends no more.

Hanging out, Tony?

No. They just call me.
The "the game whisperer". I'm
"the game whisperer".

Uh, wait. Hold on a second.
They're calling you now?

Is "the game whisperer"
tryin' to tell me

that maybe there's
something lacking
i ou relationship?

Aw, Tony, no.

No! I mean,

I honestly
didn't know it was
bothering you so much

that I'm bonding
with your friends.
I-- didn't know--

Well, it's-- it
doesn't bother me
like that, per se.

I just, you know,
when I hang with
my friends,

I wanna hang
with my friends.

When I hang with you,
I want to hang with you.

-Okay
-Okay

[ Both talking softly ]

Tony, hey!
It's me.

- What's up, baby?
- Hey!

Oh! Lisa,
what's happening?
Gimme some. Bam.

Oh, what you doin'
here, bro?

I'm on a date.

Hey, hey.
Let me get some "'gnac."
Get my head right.

My lady got a little
meetin' in the ladies' room.

Gotcha, boss.

So, Rodney, is this
the follow-up date
we talked about?

This is the
follow-up date.

I gotta
tell you, Lisa.

Everything you told me
has been spot-on, man.

It's amazing, this girl is--
this girl is d--

oh, here she come.
Don't look. Don't look.

Okay, okay.

Uh, Tony, Lisa.

This is my date.

Cheryl?

Hi.

Lisa, Tony,
fancy running
into you two here.

So, uh, wait.
How do you guys
know each other?

Oh, sugar bear,
the Stallworths
are my neighbors.

Wow, so Cheryl
and Rodney?

This is crazy.

Yeah, what
a coincidence.

I gotta know
how y'all hooked up.
Y'all wanna join us?

Is this okay
with my baby, huh?

Well, sure, baby.
Whatever you want.

Oh, thank you.

Hold on.
That's my seat.

Just playin'.
Go on, sit down.

The jokester.
Like him. Thank you.

Move your foot.
Move your foot!

- This is nice.
- Rodney: It's very nice.

You know, I used
to dream of dining

on the cobblestone
streets of Italy,

but this
is more realistic.

I wonder if they
still take EBT cards.

They used to have like
a two-for-one special
you could get here,

man, and we could
share a whole meal.

Actually, they
discontinued that,
bro.

So listen.
I got to know.

How did you guys get
together, man? What?
Tell me the story.

- Do you wanna tell it?
- You tell it.

I think I have to take
the credit for this one.

I've been
giving both of them
relationship advice,

and this
has blossomed.

You've been getting
advice from her?

You've been getting
advice from her?

Both:
What did she tell you?

- Cheryl: Jinxies.
- Jinxies!

( Rodney, Cheryl
laughing )

I don't think
that's really important.

Just simple suggestions.
Nothing--

No, Lisa.
I don't mind.
Look, Rodney,

all she said was that,
you know, sometimes,

I dream big, and I have
a hard time, you know,

being happy
when I don't get
everything I want,

so, I should
just accept the best
that you can do.

Okay. That wasn't
exactly my phrasing.

How exactly did you
phrase it, baby?

Yeah, 'cause it sounds
like you telling her
to settle for me.

- Tony: It does.
- Oh, no. No, no, no.

I would not use
the word "settling."

That-- that's
very harsh.

I-- I just
low-- altered
my expectations

a little bit.
That's all.

- That's all?
- That's all.

- Really?
- Yeah.

After I've been
sittin' here listening

to all of your talking
and talking and talking!

I don't even
wanna hear that!

And cuttin' extra hair
at the barbershop

so I can afford
stuff like this,

and I'm wearing
my good suit, too!

I'm sorry. Two things.
Uh, you're a barber?

You told me that you
were an engineer

at a "cosmetology
facility."

And that's
you good suit?

I engineer
fine haircuts
at a barbershop.

- Oh, no, no, no.
- And I've been
listening to you

and all the mess
you gotta say

while I'm sitting
on the can.

I'm getting dry,
and this is the
thanks I get?

Thanks? This does not
deserve thanks, okay?

I'm used to dining
at fine establishments.

- Okay, now I think we just
got off on the wrong--
- Cheryl: You know what, Lisa?

- You need to
mind your business.
- Mind your business.

- Oh--!
- It's your fault

that I'm
in this position
in the first place, Lisa.

You know what?
That is the only thing

you've said tonight
that makes any sense.

Sugar bear,
I wanna go home.

First of all, you
don't get to call me
"sugar bear" no more

'cause you
don't treat me like I
deserve to be treated.

You know what? Second of all,
I don't even wanna call you
"sugar bear" anymore.

Oh, you wanna
call me "sugar bear."

I'll give you a nickname
that you deserve.

Thank you so much.
Have a nice night.

Hi, Rico.
Serena.

Hey, hey!

Well, I guess
it's game over for
"the game whisperer"?

I mean, I never
thought it would blow up
in my face like that.

Jeesh!
I was just
tryin' to help.

Look at it this way.
Your advice got you to
your favorite restaurant

with the man
that you settled for.

Hey, I did not settle

because I got the man
of my dreams.

And this
is not my favorite
restaurant at all.

I say we hit
the drive-thru.

Let's get out of here
before they make us
pay for these drinks.

Tony: All right,
who got big six, man?
Start playing.

What you waiting on?

Look, honestly,
I don't know why y'all
keep playing me

because y'all
don't ever win.

I know you cheat.
Just ain't figured
out how yet.

I'ma catch you.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey, baby.

Well, well, well.

Isn't it the
queen of advice?

You mean the queen
of advice.

I followed your
little advice.

I went out with the
receptionist, okay?

I kept it real
with her,

and she kept
it real with me.

Turned out
she was he.

All:
Ooh!

Well, uh, I just want
to let you know I am out
of the advice game,

and I want to apologize
to you guys for intruding
on your space.

Yeah, I realize it's
important for men to have
time to themselves.

So from now on, I am staying
away from all men zones,

and as a peace offering,
I brought lunch.

- Oh, thank you, baby.
- You're welcome.

All right, fellas,
have a good day.

Are you sure nobody else
needs advice?

Tony, if you don't
get your lady, man.

All right, all right.

I tried
to tell y'all.

Barbershop
is no place
for a lady.

Speakin' of no place
for a lady...

Donny,
I gotta know.

Did you hit
them drawers?