All language subtitles for Family.Time.S03E03.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

**

Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.
What y'all doing?

- Your chores.
- Oh, cool.

'Cause I was
just thinking,

I don't feel like
cleaning no backyard.

Now look at this.

- All the homies is going
to this little thing.
- Hmm.

- Cool if I roll?
- Absolutely not.

Now go and get your work
clothes on and grab that rake.

Man, I don't never get
to do nothing around here.

Come on, Tony.

Let the boy go
to the fair.

Anyways, I'm enjoying
spending time with you.

You work so much,
we don't get to

spend a lot of
you and me time.

Well, that's
the price you pay

when you run
a successful business.

Oh, I mean,
if it's so successful,

why don't you hire
a little help?

What you mean,
like an assistant?

Yeah, I mean, if it'll
make things easier.

Yeah, I could use somebody
to help me out, uh-huh.

Put stuff away in the filing
cabinets and run errands.

Yeah, and the
best part is,

you'll be able to spend
more time at home,

you can relax,
kick back,

maybe use our Jacuzzi
a little bit more.

Oh, now you're talking.
Let's finish this up.

- We can get in that
bad boy right now.
- Ooh, that sounds nice.

- I'm gonna get swimsuits.
- You don't need no swimsuits.

- Tony, the kids are here.
- That's a good point.

Hey, yo, Devin!
Never mind what I said.

You can go to the fair.
And take your sister with you.

* Woke up and
my wife said to me *

* The bill collectors
won't get me *

* Kids be talking
back to me *

* Family time

* Family time
Family time *

* Family time

**

Okay, so to cut to the chase,
this job requires

basic filing skills,
organizational skills,

typing skills and occasionally
running a few errands.

You do have
a car, right?

Yes, sir.

Well, it has
a boot on it.

But since I'm about
to get this job,

I can afford to
get the boot off.

Fair enough,
fair enough.

- Okay, so, Melinda.
- Hmm?

What separates you from
the other applicants?

Besides the fact that
they're all basic?

No offense, basic ladies,
but seriously, if I get

this job, you expect me to dress
stuffy like them every day?

I don't care what
my employees wear.

As long as they
get the job done,

they could be naked
for all I care.

Oh, is that right, Tony?

Unh-unh. Not right in the
middle of my interview.

Could you not be rude
and wait your turn?

( laughs ) Just basic.
You know what I'm talking about?

( laughs )

M-M-M-M-M-Melinda?
It is Melinda, right?

Th-this is
my wife, Lisa.

- It is Lisa, right?
- Oh!

Oh, it's so nice
to meet you, Lis--

You know what?
Um, this interview is over.

You can go ahead and get up.
This interview is so--

You know, as a matter of fact,
it's over for everybody.

I want everybody out, okay?
This inter-- No more interviews.

It's okay, you can
just leave your resumes

- at the front, please,
right in the bin.
- Out. Come on!

Chop, chop!

Mm-hmm.

Lisa, what the hell
are you doing?

What the hell
are you doing, Tony?

Are you hiring an assistant, or
are you casting an adult movie?

Both. I'm trying to get
it cracking up in here.

Spice it up.
Okay, I'm just joking.

I just put an ad in the paper
and that's who showed up.

Other than this other guy
who came in earlier.

Oh, well, great.
Hire him.

I could do that.
I could do that.

He said he was a convict
that was on parole and had

two strikes, so what are the
chances of him getting a third?

Okay, well,
I don't know, Tony.

Can you at least hire
somebody like less attractive?

Less attractive?
Lisa, come on.

After being married
all these years,

you should know that
there is no competition.

I don't know, Tony.
I don't like the idea

of you and some beautiful woman
spending all that time alone.

Yeah, developing
little inside jokes.

I'm just going off
of what you said.

You want me to hire somebody
less attractive, no problem.

Either one of your
sisters need a job? What?

Come on now. They uglier
than little pug puppies.

- ( gasps )
- Smile!

- Don't you talk
about my sisters.
- Okay.

**

- Oh. Like that, Ton'?
- Man, she just bust up

in there and kicked everybody
out like she run the joint.

What?

Were they all like
gorgeous though?

- Man,
they was all dimes.
- Dimes?

Oh, man!
Like, so, like,

give me more details,
man, like, you know,

you got, you got pictures,
you know, maybe videos

or something
like that?

Come on, man, come on.
We be getting off
topic here, bro.

I mean, if I can't
vent to my homeboy,
then who can I talk to?

You're right, man,
you're right, uh,

I'm glad we kinda got
the relationship where
we can vent to each other.

That's what I'm talking
about, so Lisa--

Like just the other day,
I got evicted.

Evicted?

Yeah, man! Talking about
I wasn't paying my rent.

Can you believe that?

- Was you?
- No!

But they didn't
have to put me on

blast like that, putting notices
on my door and everything.

I'm bringing chicks through,
they looking crazy,

I can't explain it.

Yeah, that's terrible, man.
That's terrible.

Hey, man,
it is what is it.

- So you find a new place?
- No, not yet, man.

What's your
price range?

( laughs )

Why's everybody always
complicating things with money?

I thought this was
a free country. Am I mistaken?

You right,
you right.

Well, I hope everything
works out for you, man.

So anyway,
back to Lisa, see--

And to think they got me
paying thousands of dollars

for a place that ain't
much bigger than this.

Just looking around
at this spot,

if I had to do
a rough estimation

and factor you in...

Yeah, man, you know,
if I had my choice,

I'd just crash here
in the man cave,

you know what I mean,
until I could get

my chips together and, uh,
you know, find my own spot.

Here? Uh, well, you know
I would, you know, you my boy.

You know, in a minute,
a heartbeat.

But, uh,
I got a wife.

Oh, man.
Say no more, man.

I know Lisa's running
everything around here.

You gotta check with her.
She running things at the job

and at the house.

Wait, uh, no.
She ain't the boss, bro.

You know how
I get down, you know.

Oh, I get it.
I completely understand.

I don't wanna
cause any rifts, man.

Lisa is the boss.
You gotta talk to the boss.

You just the assistant manager.
You wanna talk to the manager.

I mean, me myself, man,
I'd just like to say

I'm your childhood friend and
if I gotta stay on the street,

so be it because the boss
won't let you let me stay here.

Okay, enough with
this boss stuff, man.

You got it twisted.
Y-you know what?

As a matter of fact,
man, I am the boss.

- You are.
- I'm running things
around here.

- You better go get
the treadmill.
- This is my house.

- This is your house.
- But you need
a place to stay?

- I sure do.
- Then I got you.

- That's what I'm
talking about.
- Say no more.

Way to run
your house, man.

You know what
I'm talking about?

Hey, hey, Ton',
where you going?

I'm gonna go run it by Lisa,
make sure it's cool.

**

I'm gonna just tell
her straight up, "Look,

Donnie's staying here.
It is what is it.

What you gonna
do about it, huh?

I don't wanna hear
no back talk."

Hell, that ain't gonna work.
Oh, this might do it.

I'll just say, "Look,
Donnie is a friend in need

and I'm a friend indeed."

No, that's corny as hell.
That ain't gonna work.

- Come on, man.
- Hey!

Hey! Hey! Uh, Lisa,
we need to talk.

Oh, okay. Can you help me
unpack these groceries?

- Yes, dear.
- So what you wanna
talk about?

Uh, it's nothing.
It can wait.

No, Tony. You had
a serious tone in your voice.

- What's up?
- Well, it's about Donnie.

- Oh. Is he all right?
- Yeah, he's cool.

Well, actually
he's not.

This boy done messed
around and got evicted.

Aww, that's terrible.

Ain't it?
That's a shame.

And, you know, he was
talking about maybe he could

stay here until he finds
a new place, but I nixed that

in the bud right away.
I was like, "Mnh-mnh."

No, no.
Bad idea.

Bad idea.
Terrible.

What was I thinking?
But it might, you know,

maybe, maybe it's not

- such a bad idea per se.
- Oh, no, Tony.

That's not gonna work.
I don't want outside company

living under my roof,
I just don't want it.

Well, I don't think you'd
even realize that he was
here really, you know.

( groans )
Hey, what's up, Lisa?

I didn't even
hear you come in.

Hey, y'all gotta get
some new milk, man.

This one says it expired.
Wait a minute.

On second thought,
I don't trust the man

telling me
when not to drink.

( gulping )

( gags ) The man was
so right on this one.

Anyway, thanks for
letting me stay here.

( exhales ) Donnie's
a friend in need

- and I'm a friend indeed.
- Tony!

You told Donnie
he could stay here without
consulting with me first?

- I gotta run
everything past you?
- Uh, I just thought

- we made decisions about
this house together.
- Yeah?

Well, I thought I made decisions
about my business on my own.

Oh. Oh, okay.
That's what this is about.

Yes. You ran up
into my office

throwing people out,
making me look stupid.

You know what?
You're right.

I am? I mean,
yeah, I am.

Yeah, you're right, Tony.
You should be able to hire

yourself whatever
assistant you want.

And as a matter of fact,
I have the perfect one in mind.

She's smart,
she's capable, sexy.

Oh, you talking about
that girl Melinda? Yeah.

She's real qualified too.
I was thinking about--

- You wasn't talking
about Melinda?
- No.

Oh, uh, well,
then who?

Hello. This is Stallworth
and Wife Construction.

How may I help you?

Yes, all your needs
can be met.

Oh. Oh, hi,
Mr. Johnson.

- ( mouthing words )
- Yes, he's here.

Yeah. Okay, he's available.

One second. Okay.

Lisa, what are you doing?
I was trying to tell you

I'm not here. I don't
wanna talk to him.

I'm not gonna
lie for you.

Okay, that was not a part
of my job description.

Best thing for you to do is
face your problems head on,

Tony, all right?
Line one.

- Hello, Mr. Johnson.
- ( indistinct )

Yes. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.

You're absolutely right
and I'm sorry about the
delay in your payment.

Okay. Check's in the mail.
All right.

See how easy that was?

Easy for you to say.
You weren't just
getting cussed out.

Look, the check
is not in the mail,

so now I need you to go
down to the post office
and mail it for me.

Why can't you go, Tony?
You're not doing nothing.

Unbelievable.
Can you just please

make me some coffee
with cream and sugar?

Fine.

And toss me one of
those doughnuts, too.

Diabetes runs
in your family, Tony.
You don't need all that.

Then why'd you buy that
big ol' box of doughnuts?

I hired you to be my secretary,
not my nutritionist.

Okay, listen. I prefer the term
"office management specialist."

And I really don't like
you bossing me around.

I'm bossing you around
because I'm your boss.

You know, you've had this
real condescending tone
with me recently, Tony.

"Take my calls!
Get my coffee!

Donnie's moving in
to the man cave!"

Who am I, Professor Klump?
I don't sound like that.

Look, I see why
you're tripping.

Donnie's only staying
for a minute.

It's not like
he's moving in.

Yeah, man!
I'm moving in!

Ha-ha! Moving in!

Like this. Where am I
gonna hang that thing?

Uh, fellas, cool.
Perfect timing, man.

Do me a favor. Put that box
in your hand on the floor,

delicately. You broke
my vase last time.

All right, cool, you put
that on top of that one.

And y'all can
bring my dresser

and put that against the wall
when you bring it in here.

I want it to look me straight
in the face when I wake up.

All right?

Yep, baby,
I'm moving in!

**

Ah, Bugs Bunny,
you're so clever.

Donnie, what the hell?

Yeah, what the hell, man?
Can't you knock?

I'm about to knock
your teeth out.

- What is all this?
- It's my stuff.

Okay, but what is it doing here?
You're only here for a minute.

Should I be comfortable
in that minute?

Besides, you the one that
said make yourself at home.

- I never said that.
- You didn't say that?

- No.
- I could've sworn.

Well, maybe I heard
what I wanted to hear.

- And a motorcycle?
- It's tight, right?

How did you even
get it down the stairs?

I know. It took everything
outta me, man, the whole
afternoon.

That's why I'm sitting
on the bed now, chillin'.

Anyway, what's up
with you?

Just came down
here to vent.

Oh, man!
Well, sit down!

Sit on a beanbag chair, man.
Tell me all about it.

I ain't talked
to nobody all day.

- It's Lisa.
- Is she still tripping?

She had a smart mouth
when you married her.

Man, would you just
shut up and listen?

Now, she been working
for me for two days

and she's already
driving me bananas.

Th-this ain't
gonna work, man.

I can't be around
her 24 hours a day.

So fire her.

How am I gonna
fire my own wife?

Have somebody
else do it?

You know what?
That's not a bad idea.

That's exactly
what I'm gonna do.

Yeah, man, you should
listen to me more often.

- I'm full of good ideas.
- And you gonna be
the one to do it.

Hold up now. Flag on
the play. Time out.

All that stuff. Freeze.
I'm not doing none of that.

I'm not even
the right person for it.

Now wait a minute,
see, you need a job.

And she already has
a problem with you anyway.

So I need you to be at my
office at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow.

Do I at least get
a office with a view?

Yeah, the broom closet
with a view of the dustpan.

Hard to get up, isn't it?
It's that beanbag life.

- You want some help?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I thought so.

Hey, man, can I at
least borrow a suit?
I gotta look the part.

That's true, that's true.
This is what we gonna do.

All right.

**

Uh, Tony?

Why do you still have
files from 2002?

You know, what you need to do
is take all this old paperwork,

file it in file folder boxes
and then put 'em in storage.

You see what I'm saying?

And you know what,
another thing.

Am I getting paid
for mileage?

Because gas
is really high

and all these trips back and
forth and back and forth...

( gibberish )

- It fluctuates.
- Donnie!

There you are,
but you are two
hours late.

Oh, sorry about that, man.
It took me forever to get

that motorcycle started,
especially up them stairs.

Whatever, whatever.
At least you're here now.

Yeah, and why is he here?

Uh, well, you know,
I noticed that we're
missing an HR department.

Donnie needed a job, so I
hired him to head up HR.

You know what?
I'm-I'm gonna go get

them filer folder boxes
you was talking about,

'cause I'm sure that y'all
have plenty to discuss.

( chuckles )

- ( door closes )
- HR, huh?

Yeah, and since
we're on the subject,

what does HR stand for again?
Is it "hourly rate"?

- Human resources.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

Right, right, right.
My bad about that.

Uh, and speaking of which,
since I am the head of

human resources, I have been
going over these books.

- Oh, is that right?
- That, you damn
right it's right.

And as I've been going over 'em,
I've noticed that there are some

overhead costs that are
exceeding the revenue stream.

Oh, that's a lot of big
words for you, Donnie.

You're damn right,
but let's not digress, okay?

But since we're
on the subject,

we need to make
some cuts around here,
and unfortunately for you,

I gotta fire
your ass, Lisa.

Is that right? Me?
I'm the sacrificial--

- Let me see those books.
- Here you go.

- Yeah.
- Take a look at 'em.

- All right.
- Let's look together.

You know what? Looks like
we're making the same salary.

- Fair is fair.
- If I was no
longer working,

- there would be no
humans to resource.
- Technically.

Yeah, and that would
alleviate the whole need for
a humans resource department.

- I mean, I see
what you're saying.
- Yeah, you know?

I work so I can keep
a roof over our heads,

and you are currently
living with me.

So if I can't
pay the mortgage--

We need you to pay
that mortgage.

I just ordered cable
and the whole nine
downstairs.

Well, if I can't
pay the mortgage,

then you would have
no place to stay.

Mmm! Can't have that.
You know what?

You're right. I'm fired,
and I hate getting fired.

I'm a go. Are you
still cooking tonight?

You do the thing
with the chicken
and the marinara.

This way? Okay.

Oh, hey, Lisa.
Do me a favor.

Can you help me
push-start this
motorcycle?

My engine been trip--
You still tripping'
off the job thing?

I fired myself!
Okay.

**

( Devin laughs )

So I'll see you
at the movies later?

No, you cannot bring
your boyfriend!

Are you tripping?

Oh, oh,
he's buying?

Oh, all right.
For sure.

( bass beating )

What is that?

What the heck?

( sighs )

( bass beating )

What the hell?

**

Hey, Devin,
you cool?

Yeah, fam.
I'm chillin'.

There it is.

- Donnie, who are
all these women?
- Hey, man.

I don't know! I found 'em
on a stack of resumes
at your office.

I called every number.
They felt like coming through.

Okay, but what
are they doing here?

( sighs ) They are here
for the turn-up, brother.

I'm about to turn you
upside down and hang
you out the window

if you don't get
these women outta here
before Lisa comes home!

- ( Devin laughs )
- What? Devin?

Uh, excuse me, ladies.
Can I talk to my
16-year-old son?

Yeah, 16.
Damn shame.

But I'm damn proud.
Just like his daddy.

Tell your mom, I'll kill you.
What you doing downstairs?

You know, I was just
upstairs chillin'

and I heard a party
going on, so here I am.

Boy, if you don't get your
black ass up them stairs!

Really? For real?

All this fineness going on
and I can't hang?

Can I at least have one
of the honies tuck me in?

Oh, yeah, sure, soon as I get
this belt off to whip that ass.

( laughs )
Hey! All right!

Listen. Excuse me
for a second?

Excuse me
for a minute.

What happened? I thought you
were supposed to fire Lisa!

Man, first, you are way
too close to my face.

Number two,
you've married a rarity, man.

She got beauty and brains,
you know what I mean?

She turned everything
so upside down,

at the end of it,
I fired myself.

Now believe it or not,
I'm still gonna get

my paycheck at the end
of the day, brother.

Donnie, get these women out
and then you get out.

( laughs )

I'll get them out
after I'm done.

I'm not going nowhere.
I got squatter's rights.

The minute I moved in here,
I got more rights than you

and Lisa put together.

Now, if you get a little
amendment together,

I'll help you pass the ballot,
but that's the law.

So until then,
Donnie stays.

Now if you'll excuse me.

Ladies, could you have a seat?
I'll be right with you. Cool.

Could you excuse me, brother?
You are infringing on
my space right now.

- What?
- Y'all having a good time?

I'm glad we got black,
white, and Asian.

This is a good situation
we got going. Brother?

Would you mind dipping?
I have a little private
business to attend to.

I'm trying to make
the world meet each other.

**

**

( sighs )

- Lisa, we gotta talk.
- Tony, I gotta talk to you.

No, no, no, no, no.
Don't be trying to switch
stuff around on me now.

Now, there's only
one way to say this, so
I'm just gonna be blunt.

- Okay, but listen.
- I'm tired of listening.

Now, there comes
a time when a man has
to put his foot down.

And guess what?
This here's that time.

Now, this situation here,
it ain't working out.

- But, Tony--
- But nothing!

I'm just gonna come
right out and say it, okay?

- Lisa, you're fired.
- Oh, you can't fire me.

Yes, I can! I paid
the cost to be the boss.

You can't
because I quit.

Oh, Lisa, really? Why?

Oh, okay.
Come on, cut it out.

We both know this situation
wasn't working out.

We're a team, man.

We're not supposed to be
bossing each other around,

not at home or at work.

But I did take the liberty
of finding my replacement.

Hey, Mr. Stallworth.

Am I being punked?

I looked through
the resumes

and she was the most
qualified candidate.

Oh, all right.
We're cool, cool.

I guess you can finally get
that boot off your car, right?

Oh, you believed that?
That was a lie--

I mean, joke.

Did you really believe
you was hired?

'Cause that was
a joke, too.

Okay, see,
now, Tony.

I'm just kidding.
Welcome to the family.

Uh, you mind
getting me some coffee?

I'd be happy to.
You take cream and sugar?

Uh, just cream.
I got all the sugar I need.

- Aww.
- ( chuckles )

Well, I guess
I'll get going.

Oh, uh, actually there's
one more thing I need
you to help me with.

**

I never understand these shows.
This is another housewife?

- Mm-hmm.
- How many they got?

- I don't know.
They on a roll.
- I see.

"Housewives of Compton"?
Is that it?

How ghetto is that?

Excuse me. I think
y'all forgot something.

Oop. They're
about to fight.

- Oh, there it is.
- She going in!

Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh-wee. She should
not have done that.

Hey, who do you--
Put me down!

Y'all just gonna let
Ludacris and tall Tyrese
take me outta here?

Get me outta here! I am furious!
I got squatter's rights!

Let me down!
I'll be back!

And don't nobody touch
my cereal I left downstairs!

**