Original subtitles

Rock Candy Mountain, there's a land that's fair and bright. And the handouts

grow like bushes, and you sleep out every night.

Where the boxcars are empty, and the sun shines every day.

On the birds and the bees, and the cigarette trees, and the lemonade.

Where the birds are singing. In the Big Rock Candy Mountain.

In the Big Rock Candy Mountain.

What?

We do.

We could build some houses, just like Gilligan's Island.

Gilligan's Island.

After all that's happened, Annie, what's wrong with going home?

Dad, the casing was fine.

Yeah, fine.

Face it, Annie.

It's not the way that it was.

Dad, Mom's been dead for two years.

It's the way it is.

Why don't you just hit the cooler, get yourself some pop, but stay close, okay?

Because I want to fix this tire and get on home.

Don't go down there, kid. There's all kinds of wild animals and shit.

Hey, who do you belong to? Who do you belong to?

Hey!

Hey, you!

Hands off!

Some kind of a pervert or something?

Johnny, you know better than that. You don't even know this guy.

Hey, wait a minute. I don't know you either, okay?

He almost went over the edge. There could be badgers or something down

All damn flat.

I feel for you, man.

Sometimes life really sucks, doesn't it?

Looks like you just bought me a tournament frisbee, dude.

I can get it back, no sweat.

Let's go!

Come on, guys, let's go the other way, okay?

Johnny!

No playing here!

You kids ought to know better than...

You hear it?

It could be anywhere around here.

Above us.

Behind us.

Or in the ground.

You think this is some kind of joke?

You think this is some kind of game?

They're hungry.

All they do is eat.

You gotta keep a weather eye out all the time.

You know, won't you? Every minute.

And wham!

Then it's too late.

Who are you?

Any of you kids ever hear of a place called Grover's Bend?

It's a real town with real people.

Now, in 1984...

I was riding my bicycle, and I looked up and saw this thing in the sky.

Up in space, I am somebody.

Charlie Bounty

Hunter. Yeah, Charlie Bounty Hunter.

The cosmic winds blow me.

I gotta go where no man has gone before.

I'm a body hunter!

Come on, you can't expect us to believe this horseshit.

You can believe what you want, son.

All I know is you've got to get away from here while you still can.

Well, there's something I can agree with.

Tell me what?

Are you supposed to be scary?

Me?

No.

It ain't me. It's them.

I've seen them.

I've been seeing them for... Look, you believe in monsters?

That's what I'm telling you about.

Some friends of mine from a long way off, they gave me a whole bunch of

and I only got a couple left.

But I want you to have one.

Now, if this ever starts to glow bright green, that's the time to watch out for

yourself and your family.

Green. That's right, green.

We really have to go now.

Yeah. Give my regards to Mars.

Don't be so quick.

You're not as smart as you think you are.

You can have the rest of my root beer.

Thank you, partner.

It's my favorite.

Johnny, come on now.

Look what I found.

I don't know. It looked like a big electric bullet.

Homemade. He dropped it.

Joshua! Front and center, now!

Joshua?

Josh, please.

Is that your father?

Stepfather.

Never, never will we trust you out of our sight again.

When I say five minutes, I don't mean seven, I don't mean three.

Discipline from now on, young man.

I will not...

And your mother will not... spare any more rod.

Is he gonna get spanked?

I don't think his mom's gonna let that happen.

Well, Big John, I guess we had some adventure, huh?

this guy this really strange guy i really don't care annie i told you two

stay close now didn't i look at the two of you you're filthy johnny go and get

that truck i know dad but he came out of the ground and he scared the crap out

of us scared the crap out of us miss sawyer can we please watch our language

around johnny

Honey, I just don't know what to say to you.

Well, you could say that you're not going on the road tomorrow.

You could say that I'm not old enough to take care of myself.

Honey, you're not being fair.

Mr. and Mrs. Benji's take real good care of you guys. They're like family. Hey,

it's the best that I can do.

Besides, you're a young woman now.

Well, maybe I don't want to be a young woman now.

Rovers.

Hey, Frank.

Give me a hand with some of this stuff, man.

Absolutely, Mario.

I am the handyman after all.

You are so... I heard that.

Vaya candayos, Mario.

Four more units to vacate Jesse, and I'm a rich man.

Hey, you got the elevator fixed.

Frankie. Hey, not for you, Rosie. There's still a one -ton load limit.

Stick your weapons at the door. It's the chick that walks like a man.

Staying outside our species now, huh?

Oh, very funny.

Very, very funny.

I wasn't talking to you, Frank.

Yo, Marsha, I got a little phone problem. Maybe you could come down to

basement and check out my equipment.

Sorry, Frank. I left my microscope upstairs.

I'm sorry to see you go, my friend.

I just feel so wrapped this morning.

Wrapped?

Hey, Frank.

Wrapped. Hey, don't look at me.

I gotta see him to eradicate him.

Yo, Jesse, look who's home.

What's wrong?

No, Frank! No,

Frank! Hold on a second.

Something I can do?

You okay?

So, uh, Frank, you gonna give us a hand with this?

No.

I'm a maintenance man.

I don't live here anymore.

I'll miss you, Jet.

I'll be in my office.

Would you mind, uh... cleaning up this junk.

This guy's a waste of protein.

Yeah, but what a snappy dresser.

Um, Dad, I'm going to go say hello to him.

Yeah, but don't go up empty -handed. You take something with, all right?

Aww.

Yeah, your neck, pal.

Hey, girl.

Going down to help Dad?

I thought I might.

I mean, we got ourselves a loaded truck, an unloaded camper, a car wreck. I

think they can use my help.

Um, Marcia, are there any jobs down at the phone company?

What, you need a job?

You want Clifford home, huh?

Well, I was just thinking.

I'll see what we can do.

Yeah, we will.

Hello! Hello, Annie.

Oh, welcome home, dear. Come in. Did you have a wonderful trip, dear?

Say hello to Annie.

They've just been to the Grand Canyon.

Say, did you know they just discovered an alien graveyard there?

Who did?

Government.

Secret.

Wait till you taste what I'm cooking today.

Where's Johnny? He'll love him.

Tell me about your trip, dear.

Oh, yeah.

Well, we froze to death in Arizona.

Saw the Indian caves in Mesa Verde.

I met this weird lunatic near Grover's Bench. He jumped right out from the

ground. So you had a good time, huh?

Grover's Bench.

I'm making Mr. Menti's favorite dish today.

Ham and beans.

Oh, will you and Johnny stay for dinner?

Oh, no.

It's their last night together with Dad.

He leaves on the 815 in Chicago.

We better save the talk till later, dear.

I don't want your father to say I spoiled your dinner.

Again.

Hello, girl.

How you doing, huh?

You a little hungry?

How about I give you to the old farts upstairs tonight, huh?

Iris Arm apartment complex. Frank Longo at your service.

Yo, right here. Right here, Mr. Briggs.

Yes. Well, yes, I did.

Yes, I did.

Mario is history as of right now.

Hey.

The way I look at this... is that you are making all the old giganto profits

the sale of this shithole, not little old moi.

Well, well, maybe it's time that you get down here and get involved.

I'm not lifting another finger until you pay me for Mario.

You got that? You can take that.

What are you doing out without Uncle Frankie's permission, huh?

Go back upstairs where you belong.

Work with me.

Eat.

This dump needs a good four -alarm fire.

I want you to listen to the Menzies.

Sometimes I think you don't listen.

I'll be back Friday night.

Oh, toothpaste.

Got it.

And, Dad, you really should pack some vitamins, too.

And I want you to help her make beds in the mornings. She's not a young woman,

you know.

Hi, Dad.

Can't you wait for Dad?

Mr. Emperor, miss me a pirate story.

You be a good boy. Okay.

See ya.

Dad? Hmm?

What's gonna happen to the Minjis?

I mean, where will they go?

We're gonna have to move too, you know.

They'll get us out.

You're gonna have to deal with this.

You gotta think about it, make some decisions.

Annie, I'm gonna eat my dinner, and then I'm gonna watch some moronic situation

comedy, and then I'm gonna sleep the sleep of the dead. Can we worry about

tomorrow, huh?

I love my work.

Tell Johnny bedtime, one hour.

That goes for you, too.

Oh, and give this check to Mrs. Menjies. It's for taking care of you guys.

Tell her that I'll cover the rest of it when I get back.

Dad, remember how much fun we used to have?

Yeah, I... Well, what was I like then?

Shorter.

Dad, maybe I could go get Johnny and we could play a game or something.

Honey, give me your battery -powered TV, would you?

It's just me.

Laundry night.

I'm a little spooked tonight, too.

Did you hear screaming before?

It was probably just Frank.

What has eaten him?

I don't know.

Frank's just naturally repulsive.

Say hello to Mrs. and Mr. Menzies for me.

Frank? Frank, hello.

All right, Longo, very funny. Enough is enough.

Frank, we are not amused.

Frank, try to guess just how close your termination is.

Okay, it's your funeral, wise -ass.

I'm coming over there and taking care of things myself.

before we sleep, sport.

Business.

Can't you just drop me off at home?

No way, sport.

From today, this pool will be yours.

You're gonna have to learn how to swim in it.

Looks like they'll have to meet their landlord after.

See?

Rover's Bend.

1986. Now, you can see the same kind of occurrence two years later, 1988.

Even local law enforcement claims they've seen space aliens.

One of them supposedly killed a sheriff in the 88 encounter.

A sheriff?

Yes. A sheriff wearing an Easter bunny suit.

And I'll bet the aliens were all wearing tuxedos.

Of course.

He must have been reading the same newspapers as you.

That's where he got the story in the first place.

Who? What guy?

That crazy guy who ran into him on vacation.

He actually believes this stuff.

Oh, um, I didn't mean... Sorry.

Look, I'm sorry.

I guess I'm still upset over a fight I just had with my dad.

I'm going to go back downstairs and check on him.

I'll be back for Johnny in a while.

Well, John, you still like my stories, don't you?

It's him.

Huh? Who?

The cold is green. Now's the time to watch out for yourself.

Hello? Frank?

Frank, is that you?

Or some other rat.

Terrific. You pervert.

We got varmint.

Frank.

What in the wild world is going on down here?

the future side of Briggs Mini Mall.

Nice concept, huh?

Naming it after yours truly?

Your mom said the court ordered you to pay them money to move, to relocate.

Not if they move of their own accord, sport.

There are much simpler ways to sweep and clear.

You'll see.

You'll learn.

Come on.

I'll teach you.

make this a dream.

Dad!

Dad! What?

Dad!

Dad!

Oh, Dad!

They're things! They're huge!

They're gigantic!

They're like rats! No, no, no! Badgers! Badgers! And they attack me! They have

these white fang teeth!

And then... And they bit me. They bit me on my leg. They bit... Oh, my God, I'm

bleeding.

Sit over here, Rosie.

Dad, they're little animals, just like the ones in the paper.

They've got lots of sharp teeth.

They're nasty things. Nasty things with sharp teeth.

They're things from outer space.

You can ask Mr. Mages about it.

Dad, they're aliens.

Aliens in the base? You have to believe her. They're big. They're huge. They're

like... They're big cats.

You've got to listen to her. They're awful.

Rosie, calm down. Calm down.

You just saw a rat.

Dad, will you look at her legs?

Oh, Rosie.

A rat did this to you? This is serious.

They're not rats, Dad.

They got Frank in the basement.

They got Frank in the basement.

seen her shoot those 300 games.

She can throw the strike.

God damn it.

You see, sport?

All kinds of animals follow them around.

These people are animals.

and pretty soon you can't tell them apart. The people, the pets, they've all

fleas.

This will get their attention.

Their attention for what?

Our little panic... ...cathedral.

You think they're screaming and carrying on now?

Just wait till I cut off their communication with their social workers.

Hello?

Hello?

That's funny.

I lost contact with Grover's Bend.

What did he mean, watch out for yourself?

First floor.

Basement.

Turn down the light.

Son of a bitch.

How many stairs are in this place anyway? Why don't we just one up these

Oh, I'm dizzy.

Come on.

Put your clothes on.

I don't want to rest. What the hell are you guys doing down here?

Martha. Martha, come and help. They're passing out.

Oh, they're things.

They're like big rats.

Only they bite him.

I forget.

They're aliens.

Porcupines. This is magic.

This is magic.

Come on, Cliff.

Let me help you. Lean on me.

Up, up, up.

Who are you?

Marsha. You know me, Cliff.

Come on. Yeah, come on.

Up, up. Yeah, okay.

Thank you.

Lord is here to evict you.

Geez, Rat, did that?

Looks like I'll have to charge somebody for a new door.

Give me the keys. I'm going to wait in the car. Forget it.

We're in this together.

I thought you cut off all the power.

I did cut off all the power.

Can we just go?

to tap into the emergency system.

Hello?

It's your landlord.

I have matters to discuss.

We'll have our work done in a minute, sport.

Don't call me sport.

You're not a crybaby, too, are you, sport?

Huh?

I hate you.

I wish you were dead.

There's... there's...

Who's that guy you were with? Your dad?

Stepfather.

Listen, I don't know what the hell's going on down there, but I just saw

something there.

There's animals, some kind of hungry things. I don't know, but he's dead,

There's nothing we can do for him.

What's your name?

Josh.

Okay, Josh.

Come on. There's no place right now.

Come on, help me move this desk. Quick.

Coming around now.

Josh, what are you doing here?

I came with her.

Push it up against the door.

Right up tight.

Great. That should hold them.

Josh, I mean, how did you get here?

There's monsters outside, aren't there?

Yeah, there are monsters out there. Hey, anybody check the phone?

Dead. Light the lights.

You know, I still don't know what the hell's going on here.

Ain't no rats, you can be sure of that.

What are you talking about?

Did you ever see one of these come out of any rat you've seen?

Ain't no rats.

Must be venom.

Poison.

They're here!

I saw the door downstairs.

They chewed right through it.

What do you say we barricade the kitchen door?

The kitchen door.

Mr.

Menjie, you don't have a gun up here or anything like that?

I've got a great Civil War pistol.

I used to have a frame for it.

It's got no powder.

How about a big knife?

How about a meat cleaver, dear?

Did you find anything there, dear?

No.

Wait. What's that?

Oh, as I recall, that's a little storage area.

Mr. Menzies and I haven't crawled up there in years. Josh, come here.

Do you have a footstool or something? In the pantry.

Hey, you guys, check this out.

Menji, did this connect with the roof?

I really don't know where that goes, dear.

You get up there, and you crawl, crawl that direction, and you'll hit the

elevator shaft.

You don't know that. I'll get the others.

Sure, I do. I thought stuff up there.

Do you think you guys can

climb a ladder?

No ladder.

You'll have a ladder tomorrow.

No.

No tomorrow.

I can't deal with this anymore, Dad. Move your ass now.

Now.

Come on, Clifford. Hey, we've been climbing three flights of stairs ever

that elevator broke down.

Come on. You can do it.

It's gotten too quiet out there.

I don't like it.

We'll just get in some other way. We've got to get out of here.

Rosalie, come on. We've got to go. You're next. I'll watch the door.

Oh, no. Up, Rosalie.

Right.

All right. Come on. You can do it. Come on. I'll help you.

You know, if we can make it to the roof, I can get to the junction box

outside. Tie into the phone line.

Call for help.

You can do that?

Hey, I can do anything.

I work for the phone company.

Push. Oh, oh, oh.

Rosalie.

Push. Come on. Go. Go.

Go. Go. Go. Go. Go.

Go. Go. Go.

Go. Go.

Go. Go.

Go.

Look, dear, the quilt that Aunt Carolyn gave us. Remember?

Yeah, I remember. Come on.

Let's go.

Everybody be calm now.

and try and keep everybody together.

I'm going to check out this direction.

It won't open.

It won't open.

We're trapped.

Where's Marsha?

What are you doing here?

I came here with my stepdad.

We came here to evict you.

I didn't want to come.

Pretty awful, huh?

I just can't believe he's dead.

Josh.

My mom died.

Not like your dad.

She died.

I bet you didn't wish for your mom to die.

I just wish we could go back to this morning.

Just wish we could figure out how to use this thing.

If nobody can think of anything better, one of us has got to make it to the

street and run for help.

The only way I know to get around them things is this elevator shaft.

Hey, I got a better idea.

get to the box redundant cable keeps the lines from blowing down it ought to

hold my weight long enough for me to get connected

i'm down to 119 you're gonna die out there

any calls you want me to make for you come on belay me

One thing at a time.

Marsha, one thing at a time.

Oh, my God, Marsha!

She's swinging.

She's swinging.

Amy, it's okay.

Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, oh, oh.

Annie? I'm going for help.

It's okay. I'm going to take care of everything.

Don't go down there. That's too dangerous. You come on back here. Let

else do that.

Second floor.

Nothing to it.

All right, get back. Get back into the elevator.

Sometimes it does this.

I came here just in time.

Where's your family?

Take me to them.

The elevator's stuck. We have to climb.

What are you doing here?

A gentleman called me.

Will Musgrove.

No!

Yeah, what's left of me? The building is burning downstairs. We've got to get on

the roof.

Don't look. Don't look.

Be casual. But who is that hunk that just came in with your daughter?

What are you doing, partner?

Guess you were right about those things.

See if you can pry that bullet out of there. My fingers are too big.

What about Marsha?

Everybody quiet.

If you're quiet, you can hear them moving.

I'm trying.

It won't come out.

All right.

Keep your eyes on them.

Look them in the eye.

They'll telegraph their every move.

My husband alone!

Annie?

Annie?

Thank you.

You were wonderful.

Thank you very much. You saved us all. Thank you.

I hope you're gonna let me down a little easier than that.

All right Well,

we could have proved it except it was all documented from all my papers actual

physical evidence How

are

you I'm fine

Getting together sometime and doing something normal.

Normal like a movie?

Yeah.

Charlie!

Oh, go.

Uh, listen, partner.

How's that crystal doing?

There's no more problem.

You don't need me anymore.

Johnny, give me a minute.

Bye, Charlie.

Bye, John.

Are you leaving today, Daddy?

Well, I think I finally got the message. You guys want me to stay close to home.

My uniform's all burnt up. I think the railroad can get along without.

Dad, can we, you know, survive?

Well, we've just been talking about that.

Well, I think I'll check out those jobs down at the phone company.

And between the Menzies and us, we'll work something out.

Excuse me.

Yeah. I'm Josh's mother.

How do you do?

Josh has told me about all you've done for him. And my husband, my late

He owes you people quite a bit of money. He does?

Well, it's called a relocation fee.

And I think with that, you'd be able to stay in a hotel until we get the place

rebuilt. That is, if he would be interested. We're interested.

And thank you.

Um, why don't we introduce ourselves?

Johnny, where's your friend from Grover's been?

Charlie?

Like one of those westerns.

No.

No.

Alright, you gumballs.

Two, three.

You were in violation.

Violation?

Wait a second. I'm just killing critters here.

That is, there was a confirmed infestation of Christ.

Charlie?

Huck?

That you in there?

Charlie, my friend.

Wow.

Wow, it's great to see you. And you as well.

What?

You're looking good.

We just received your bio alert.

Yeah, yeah. What was that all about?

Specifically, you are prohibited from terminating any transgalactic life form

it means total extinction of the species.

Oh, yeah, but they're dangerous. You taught me how dangerous they are.

Aggression factor is irrelevant.

Those two eggs are the last two eggs.

The Intergalactic Council has dispatched a specimen collection pod. You are

instructed to place the eggs into the receptacle in the pod.

The Council is sending a pod here?

Come on, Huck. Good luck, Charlie, my friend.

Yeah, but, uh... Huck!

Wait a second. What am I supposed to...