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1
00:00:00,958 --> 00:00:01,918
Look, Todd, 9 o'clock means
2
00:00:01,918 --> 00:00:03,252
you're here at 9 o'clock.
3
00:00:03,252 --> 00:00:04,253
How many times
I've to tell you that?
4
00:00:04,253 --> 00:00:05,254
Apparently, seven.
5
00:00:05,254 --> 00:00:06,756
- What?
- Nothin'.
6
00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:08,424
Look, do you think
I like calling you in here
7
00:00:08,424 --> 00:00:10,009
every couple of weeks
and reading you the riot act?
8
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:11,135
- Yes.
- What?
9
00:00:11,135 --> 00:00:13,471
Nothin'.
10
00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,139
Look, Todd,
you're 21 years old.
11
00:00:15,139 --> 00:00:16,849
It's time to buckle down.
12
00:00:16,849 --> 00:00:18,726
You know, when I was your age,
I had two jobs.
13
00:00:18,726 --> 00:00:20,644
I took the bus to work.
I was never late once.
14
00:00:20,644 --> 00:00:22,522
That's very good advice, sir.
Yank you very much.
15
00:00:27,401 --> 00:00:28,861
Did you just say, yank me?
16
00:00:28,861 --> 00:00:30,155
No, wide ass.
17
00:00:32,531 --> 00:00:35,410
- What?
- I said, "No, why do you ask?"
18
00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:38,829
Okay, snot head,
get back to work.
19
00:00:38,829 --> 00:00:40,081
What?
20
00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:42,208
I said,
"Thanks, snot head
21
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,377
get back to work."
22
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,879
Oh, hey, Mimi.
23
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,630
How was the Marilyn Manson
concert?
24
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:50,841
Oh, it's pretty tame.
25
00:00:50,841 --> 00:00:52,760
Then me and some
of the roadies
26
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,220
threw a party down
on the docks afterwards.
27
00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:56,722
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
28
00:00:56,722 --> 00:00:59,225
Canadian freighter
pulled in about 3:00 a.m.
29
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,560
Things really got rollin'.
30
00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:05,356
I think I might have
gotten married, eh?
31
00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,692
[laughs]
32
00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:09,443
Sounds like fun,
better than gettin' reamed
33
00:01:09,443 --> 00:01:10,737
by old man Carey here.
34
00:01:12,446 --> 00:01:14,991
Old man Carey, is that
what people say about me?
35
00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:16,409
That's not fair.
36
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,619
Hey, does doing my job
make me old?
37
00:01:18,619 --> 00:01:20,205
Does being responsible
make me old?
38
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,832
Does wanting other people
to be responsible make me old?
39
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,584
Could you just not talk so much?
40
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,836
'Cause I kinda have a headache.
41
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:28,629
Oh, really? What the hell
happened to you?
42
00:01:28,629 --> 00:01:30,422
Hey, hey!
43
00:01:30,422 --> 00:01:32,842
It's called living.
Get to know it.
44
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:34,969
Hey, I live. I have fun.
45
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:36,512
I just have my own kinda fun.
46
00:01:36,512 --> 00:01:38,556
Oh, yeah? What are you
gonna do tonight?
47
00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:39,807
Oh, tonight, I got
a big night planned.
48
00:01:39,807 --> 00:01:41,433
Big night.
49
00:01:41,433 --> 00:01:43,560
Gonna go home, make myself
a couple of Hungry-Man dinners.
50
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,438
Have a beer,
fall asleep on the couch
51
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:46,940
watching "Diagnosis Murder."
52
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:49,275
Oh, my God, I'm old.
53
00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:53,905
Ah, there's our Rock
of Gibraltar, good old Carey.
54
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:57,241
- Everybody, it's time.
- Well, what's goin' on?
55
00:01:57,241 --> 00:02:00,078
Carey, you've done something
that no other employee
56
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:02,162
at Winfred-Louder has ever done.
57
00:02:02,162 --> 00:02:03,914
Oh, you know, if this is
about the employee picnic
58
00:02:03,914 --> 00:02:05,332
I-I was drunk
and I misunderstood the term
59
00:02:05,332 --> 00:02:06,501
three-legged race.
60
00:02:09,545 --> 00:02:12,715
No, Carey, this is something
you can be proud of.
61
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:14,425
Now, you've been to work
62
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:17,636
every single day for 3000 days.
63
00:02:17,636 --> 00:02:19,722
Well, technically, it's 3001.
64
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,057
I would have awarded it
yesterday
65
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,516
but I was out sailing.
66
00:02:22,516 --> 00:02:25,186
But you were here,
trudging away as you always are.
67
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,813
[applauding]
68
00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:31,567
Three thousand days?
That can't be.
69
00:02:31,567 --> 00:02:33,069
- Congratu-loser.
- What?
70
00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:34,070
Congratulations.
71
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:38,783
In gratitude for your return
72
00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:41,536
to this little cubicle
day in, day out
73
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,662
we offer you this plaque
74
00:02:43,662 --> 00:02:45,998
engraved
with the simple slogan
75
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,709
"Three thousand down
76
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,627
here's to three thousand more."
77
00:02:51,336 --> 00:02:52,589
Three thousand days
behind this desk?
78
00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:55,799
It's almost a third of my life.
79
00:02:55,799 --> 00:02:57,635
A lesser man would have
gone insane, Carey.
80
00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:58,678
And that's why...
81
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,764
...as our final honor
82
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:04,267
Cubicle 17A
from this day forth
83
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:07,144
will be known
as "The Drewbicle."
84
00:03:07,144 --> 00:03:09,272
[applauding]
85
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,653
I don't know what to say, I...
86
00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:19,573
I didn't stop
and smell the roses, I let...
87
00:03:19,573 --> 00:03:21,033
I let time to slip
through my hands.
88
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:22,660
There's so many things
I should have done.
89
00:03:24,036 --> 00:03:25,538
What am I doin' here?
90
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,373
[applauding]
91
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,875
Cake and ice cream
in my office.
92
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:32,920
♪ Hey ♪
93
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,589
♪ Up every mornin' ♪
94
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,132
♪ Just to keep a job ♪
95
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,217
♪ I gotta fight my way ♪
96
00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:40,470
♪ Through the hustlin' mob ♪
97
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,138
♪ Sounds of the city ♪
98
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:44,015
♪ Poundin' in my brain ♪
99
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:46,600
♪ While another day
goes down the drain ♪
100
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:47,852
♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪
101
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,687
♪ But it's a 5 o'clock world ♪
102
00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:52,148
♪ When the whistle blows ♪
103
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:55,276
♪ No one owns
a piece of my time ♪
104
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,195
♪ And there's a 5 o'clock me ♪
105
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,572
♪ Inside my clothes ♪
106
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:02,282
♪ Thinkin' that
the world looks fine ♪
107
00:04:02,282 --> 00:04:03,910
♪ Yeah ♪
108
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,912
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Holiday ♪
109
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,664
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
110
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,916
♪ Hey hey ♪
111
00:04:13,794 --> 00:04:16,172
Oh, boy, I'm gonna miss sleeping
in at Sunday mornings.
112
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:18,924
Hey, they can't sell Buzz Beer
if we don't deliver it.
113
00:04:18,924 --> 00:04:20,760
Saturday night's a big beer
night. We gotta restock.
114
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,511
Yeah, and if anyone needs
a coffee beer
115
00:04:22,511 --> 00:04:23,721
that's a Sunday morning drunk.
116
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,222
Yeah.
117
00:04:25,222 --> 00:04:27,934
Hey, man, it's our
responsibility, okay?
118
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,102
'What's the matter? Don't you
like being responsible?'
119
00:04:30,102 --> 00:04:31,354
What, are you saying
that I'm stodgy?
120
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,771
That I'm on a 3000 day rut?
121
00:04:32,771 --> 00:04:34,440
Is that what you're sayin'?
Huh, huh?
122
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,984
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on, let's not argue.
123
00:04:36,984 --> 00:04:38,193
It's bad enough
that we're delivering
124
00:04:38,193 --> 00:04:39,654
liquor on the Sabbath.
125
00:04:41,488 --> 00:04:43,490
Oh, that reminds me, we have
to deliver a case of beer
126
00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:44,951
to my church
for Las Vegas Night.
127
00:04:46,994 --> 00:04:49,955
Excuse me, didn't anyone notice
I was ranting a moment ago?
128
00:04:49,955 --> 00:04:52,583
Oh, I'm sorry, Drew,
what's the matter?
129
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:55,544
I've become set in my ways.
I stopped living my life.
130
00:04:55,544 --> 00:04:57,130
I'm just like my father.
131
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,591
Oh, come on, Drew,
that's not true.
132
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:01,968
Your dad was a wild man.
133
00:05:04,011 --> 00:05:06,347
You're right. I've got
a lot of catchin' up to do.
134
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,391
- Hey, take this on-ramp.
- What?
135
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,643
- I said take this on-ramp.
- Hey, hey hey, hey!
136
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,979
- 'What are you doin'?'
- It's called livin'.
137
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,440
- Get to know it.
- Wh-where are we goin'?
138
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,567
We're goin' to the city
that never sleeps.
139
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:18,568
We're gonna be a partof it.
140
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:19,819
We're going to Paris?
141
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,404
- Na, it's city of lights.
- Oh!
142
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,531
- I thought that was Las Vegas.
- We're going to Vegas?
143
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,824
No, we're goin' to the city
that never sleeps.
144
00:05:25,824 --> 00:05:29,495
- New York City.
- Why New York?
145
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:33,207
This truck can make it there,
it can make it anywhere.
146
00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:34,834
Besides, the Indians are playing
the Yankees tonight.
147
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:35,960
- Hey!
- 'Wow.'
148
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,044
- Okay
- 'Oh.'
149
00:05:37,044 --> 00:05:38,421
It's over 400 miles each way.
150
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:39,797
I gotta work tomorrow.
151
00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:41,799
If I'm late,
old man Carey's gonna ki...
152
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,388
Hey, you know what
old man Carey says?
153
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:48,389
Huh?
154
00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:50,140
Old man Carey says
155
00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:52,184
"The hell with responsibility."
Huh?
156
00:05:52,184 --> 00:05:53,519
- Yeah.
- To hellwith work tomorrow.
157
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:55,062
- Yeah.
- Who's with me?
158
00:05:55,062 --> 00:05:58,149
I am, I'm tired of my
rotten 9:20 to 10:00
159
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:01,235
to 5:00 every single day.
160
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,529
Ah, if it weren't
for my hour and a half
161
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:04,947
to two hour lunch,
I don't know what I'd do.
162
00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:06,365
- 'Yeah.'
- 'Yeah.'
163
00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:07,950
Hey, you know, uh,
now that you mentioned it
164
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:10,787
I-I am like one of those,
uh, those lab rats at Drug Co.
165
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,831
You know, going through the maze
and gettin' electrocuted
166
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:15,916
when I take the wrong turn,
you know.
167
00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:18,419
Get my big hunk of cheese
at the end of the week.
168
00:06:19,503 --> 00:06:21,630
It's a nice metaphor, buddy.
169
00:06:21,630 --> 00:06:23,549
Oh, oh, yes.
It's just a metaphor.
170
00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,096
I think what we're trying
to say, buddy, is...
171
00:06:29,096 --> 00:06:30,931
(together)
Road trip.
172
00:06:30,931 --> 00:06:34,018
Alright, Lewis, put the pedal
to the metal, baby.
173
00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:35,395
It is.
174
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,771
Nice, leisurely...
175
00:06:37,771 --> 00:06:39,399
(all)
Road trip.
176
00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:45,821
♪ Oh great green gobs
of greasy grimy gopher guts ♪
177
00:06:45,821 --> 00:06:47,573
♪ Mutilated monkey meat ♪
178
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:48,907
♪ Little dirty birdie feet ♪
179
00:06:48,907 --> 00:06:50,493
♪ French-fried eyeballs ♪
180
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:51,827
♪ Swimming in a pool of blood ♪
181
00:06:51,827 --> 00:06:54,580
♪ And me without a spoon
boo-ho ♪
182
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,499
Same song, second verse.
183
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,001
Gopher style
and a whole lot worse.
184
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,670
♪ Great green gobs
of greasy grimy gopher guts ♪
185
00:07:01,670 --> 00:07:03,548
♪ Mutilated monkey meat.. ♪
186
00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:05,508
Hey!
187
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,305
Cow.
188
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,641
(all)
Moo.
189
00:07:16,685 --> 00:07:17,978
- This is great, huh?
- 'Yeah.'
190
00:07:17,978 --> 00:07:20,147
All of us together,
head to New York.
191
00:07:20,147 --> 00:07:22,316
Hey, want a beef stick cake?
192
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:23,359
Wait, let me check.
193
00:07:25,527 --> 00:07:26,653
No, I think I've had enough.
194
00:07:26,653 --> 00:07:29,490
I've hickory coming out
of my pores.
195
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,242
Hey, wait a second.
Do you smell that?
196
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,493
Oh, Drew.
197
00:07:34,995 --> 00:07:36,414
No, no, no, not that.
Beyond that.
198
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,377
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
199
00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:42,587
Wait, I'm getting something.
200
00:07:44,671 --> 00:07:46,423
What is that?
201
00:07:46,423 --> 00:07:47,800
Judging by the potency,
I'd say we're...
202
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,343
[inhales sharply]
203
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:52,346
...15 miles outside
of Hershey, Pennsylvania.
204
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,141
Yup.
205
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,850
Go, pay our repects
206
00:07:56,850 --> 00:07:59,019
and then,
it's outer New York City.
207
00:07:59,019 --> 00:08:00,771
Get ready for life
on the fast lane.
208
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:02,147
[cheering]
209
00:08:02,147 --> 00:08:03,148
Alright.
210
00:08:03,148 --> 00:08:05,359
[car horn honking]
211
00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:12,825
Man, how far is it
to Yankee Stadium?
212
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:13,993
I don't know,
we're six inches closer
213
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,369
than we were an hour ago.
214
00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:17,288
That's because the guy
behind us rear-ended us.
215
00:08:18,747 --> 00:08:21,208
Oh, man,
let me just ask a local.
216
00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:24,128
Excuse me, sir,
how far is it to Yankee Sta...
217
00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:25,879
Wow, did you see that?
218
00:08:25,879 --> 00:08:28,257
He didn't even let me finish, he
just instinctively foot me off.
219
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,093
Well, at least
he didn't show you his...
220
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,511
- Oh!
- Eww!
221
00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:34,513
There it is. Blah.
222
00:08:34,513 --> 00:08:36,807
He's pointing in the right
direction. Thank you, sir.
223
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,476
You know, this really sucks.
224
00:08:39,476 --> 00:08:40,936
It only took us six
and a half hours
225
00:08:40,936 --> 00:08:42,396
to get from Cleveland
to New York
226
00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:44,105
but it's taken us 40 minutes
just to pass
227
00:08:44,105 --> 00:08:45,775
that group
of long-tailed Chihuahuas
228
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,193
hanging around
that sewer grid over there.
229
00:08:48,235 --> 00:08:49,237
[thud]
230
00:08:50,695 --> 00:08:52,490
Oh, man, where does
he want us to go?
231
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,658
There's only six inches between
us and the car in front of us.
232
00:08:54,658 --> 00:08:57,285
Hey, does it really matter
if we move up six inches?
233
00:08:57,285 --> 00:08:59,330
[honking]
234
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,373
Okay, I guess we'll do it.
235
00:09:02,332 --> 00:09:04,084
[thud]
236
00:09:04,084 --> 00:09:06,586
Oh, great, now we're getting
it from both sides.
237
00:09:06,586 --> 00:09:08,588
If that guy didn't have a free
John Gotti bumper sticker
238
00:09:08,588 --> 00:09:10,758
boy, I'd be all over him,
let me tell you.
239
00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:11,801
I'm gonna stretch my legs.
240
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,514
Wow, hot one, isn't it?
241
00:09:17,514 --> 00:09:18,766
Let me have a Nutty Buddy.
242
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,937
Oh, my God.
You're Donald Trump.
243
00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:26,273
Look at this, right here on
the street, it's Donald Trump!
244
00:09:26,273 --> 00:09:27,525
[chuckles]
245
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,567
Kinda weird, isn't it?
246
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,444
Sort of like, I'm human.
247
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:32,571
Let me have a Nutty Buddy, please.
248
00:09:32,571 --> 00:09:34,573
Oh, we don't have any ice cream.
249
00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:37,200
- Is this an ice cream truck?
- Uh-huh.
250
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,244
So, what's in the back
of your truck?
251
00:09:39,244 --> 00:09:40,996
Beer.
252
00:09:40,996 --> 00:09:42,331
Beer in the back
of an ice cream truck?
253
00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:44,082
What, are you morons?
254
00:09:44,082 --> 00:09:47,711
- No, we're from Cleveland.
- Ah, you're from Cleveland.
255
00:09:47,711 --> 00:09:49,672
Okay, look, we just drove
to New York on a kick
256
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:50,756
to see the Indians
play the Yankees.
257
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,092
Now, we're stuck here, okay?
258
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:55,636
I'm sorry to hear that,
that I am sorry about but...
259
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:56,970
...you know, what to do?
260
00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:58,889
Give this to the guy
at the gate.
261
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,183
He'll take you to my box seats.
262
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,811
Use 'em, enjoy 'em,
and welcome to New York.
263
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,187
- Wow.
- Wow!
264
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:07,106
- Thanks.
- Thanks, Mr. Trump.
265
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,941
I'm gonna go see
the, uh, "Star Wars Trilogy."
266
00:10:09,941 --> 00:10:12,111
You'll probably still be here.
267
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,153
We'll have a beer later.
268
00:10:13,153 --> 00:10:14,155
- Okay.
- Okay.
269
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,406
- Okay.
- Bye.
270
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:16,532
[thud]
271
00:10:17,657 --> 00:10:18,868
Alright, that's it.
272
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:23,581
[knocking]
273
00:10:27,334 --> 00:10:29,336
Oh, my God, it's-it's you,
it's Carol Channing!
274
00:10:29,336 --> 00:10:31,546
Get back in your truck,
any minute now
275
00:10:31,546 --> 00:10:33,924
this whole thing
is gonna break wide open.
276
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:37,219
Wide open? It's cars
as far as the eye can see.
277
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:39,179
So, what are you calling me,
a liar?
278
00:10:39,179 --> 00:10:41,015
Because I think
you're calling be a liar.
279
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:45,102
Look, I don't want
any trouble, I-I...
280
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:47,729
We just drove in from Cleveland
to see a Yankee's game, okay?
281
00:10:47,729 --> 00:10:50,357
Aw, you came all that way?
282
00:10:50,357 --> 00:10:53,027
Well, let me help you
to get there a little faster.
283
00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,071
[thud]
284
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:59,867
Now, get back
in the freakin' truck!
285
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:04,454
[indistinct mumbling]
286
00:11:04,454 --> 00:11:06,081
Hey, hey, hey,
traffic's movin' again.
287
00:11:06,081 --> 00:11:07,249
Everybody, get back in.
288
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,042
[horns blaring]
289
00:11:09,042 --> 00:11:10,544
I'm gonna try
to get off this street.
290
00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:12,296
See if I'm clear
to get into the right lane.
291
00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:13,297
Go for it.
292
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:15,466
It's alright, it's alright.
293
00:11:16,633 --> 00:11:17,968
[horns blaring]
294
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,099
(Oswald)
'What the hell happened?'
295
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,143
We're out of gas.
296
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:27,645
[horns blaring]
297
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,025
We gotta get some gas.
298
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,861
If we don't move,
they're gonna kill us.
299
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,364
Alright, I'll get the gas.
Who's got some money?
300
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,782
We blew all our money
when we bought that
301
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,534
10-pound Kiss at Hershey,
Pennsylvania.
302
00:11:42,534 --> 00:11:45,328
Oh, you mean, this?
303
00:11:45,328 --> 00:11:48,082
Anybody wanna split
the rest?
304
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:50,626
How are we gonna get
some money for gas?
305
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,043
- Okay, Lewis.
- Huh?
306
00:11:52,043 --> 00:11:53,462
Lend me a hand.
307
00:11:57,549 --> 00:11:58,968
[horn blaring]
308
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,053
We're going to get some gas.
309
00:12:02,053 --> 00:12:03,763
We'll be right back.
310
00:12:03,763 --> 00:12:09,270
Move your corn-fed,
Midwestern lard ass, farm boy.
311
00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,274
Hey, you know,
Channing knows my ass.
312
00:12:17,569 --> 00:12:19,655
Hi. Excuse me, we have
kind of an emergency here.
313
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,740
- We need some gas.
- I don't sell gas.
314
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,867
No, uh, we'll get the gas.
We just need some money.
315
00:12:23,867 --> 00:12:25,035
Oh!
316
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,665
Listen, I don't mean to tell
you how to do your job
317
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:32,293
but the nose and moustache fell
off your Groucho glasses, bro.
318
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,967
Oh, no, no, no,
w-we're not here to rob...
319
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,345
We're not here to rob you,
we just...
320
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:44,846
We just wanna sell you
some beer.
321
00:12:44,846 --> 00:12:47,099
[sighs]
What kind of beer?
322
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,142
It's a special brew we brought
all the way from Cleveland.
323
00:12:49,142 --> 00:12:50,394
You guys came all
the way from Cleveland
324
00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:51,937
just to sell beer
door to door?
325
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,063
No, actually, we just
wanted to chuck it all
326
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,148
and see Yankees' game.
327
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,816
[speaking in Spanish]
328
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,818
That's why I came here
from Cumana, baby.
329
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:02,823
Hey, you guys wanna have fun?
Some expired herbal ecstasy.
330
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,451
No, listen, all we want
is 30 bucks for the beer.
331
00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:08,495
You can get a 100 bucks
for these two cases real easy.
332
00:13:08,495 --> 00:13:11,206
- I'll give you 2 bucks.
- What?
333
00:13:11,206 --> 00:13:13,709
It's from Cleveland. What do you
Midwest guys know about beer?
334
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,836
Would you like to meet
our spokes-belly?
335
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,004
[speaking in Spanish]
336
00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:20,758
- Twenty five bucks.
- Twenty.
337
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,592
I'll take it.
338
00:13:22,592 --> 00:13:24,303
[metal clanking]
339
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:27,681
Drew, does that sound like
a bat hitting the side of
340
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:30,184
oh, I don't know,
say, an ice cream truck?
341
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,352
Oh, my God.
342
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,022
[clanking]
343
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,314
Finally, baseball.
344
00:13:36,314 --> 00:13:37,775
Hey! Hey!
Knock it off.
345
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,736
Get out!
This is my territory.
346
00:13:41,736 --> 00:13:43,613
Hey, the only reason
we're here in the first place
347
00:13:43,613 --> 00:13:45,115
is 'cause we're on our way
to a baseball game
348
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:46,533
and our truck got stuck.
349
00:13:46,533 --> 00:13:49,495
Oh, you want
a baseball game?
350
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:52,873
Look, I'm Joe DiMaggio.
351
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,166
Hey, yo! Hey!
352
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,001
Alright. Do you wanna
dance, huh?
353
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,629
- We'll dance.
- Ooh!
354
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,797
Ooh!
355
00:14:00,797 --> 00:14:03,926
- Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh--
- Whoa! Hey, hey, hey!
356
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,677
Knock it off, ya humps.
357
00:14:05,677 --> 00:14:07,388
I'm a detective
from the 15th Precinct.
358
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,680
Come on out of there.
359
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,349
What's goin' on, Fluffy?
360
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:12,559
This lobe and his friends
361
00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:15,103
are tryin' to take over
my territory.
362
00:14:15,103 --> 00:14:16,563
Shoot him!
363
00:14:16,563 --> 00:14:18,231
Hey, we just ran out of gas.
364
00:14:18,231 --> 00:14:20,984
If you're gonna bust anybody,
bust Carol Channing.
365
00:14:20,984 --> 00:14:23,570
She's been ridin'
our tail all day.
366
00:14:23,570 --> 00:14:25,071
Ohio plates, huh?
367
00:14:25,071 --> 00:14:26,698
You got a license
to sell that ice cream?
368
00:14:26,698 --> 00:14:29,076
We haven't any ice cream in
the truck. All we got is beer.
369
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:31,536
Beer, huh? You got a license
to sell the beer?
370
00:14:31,536 --> 00:14:33,747
We don't need a license.
We haven't sold anything.
371
00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:35,748
[speaking in Spanish]
372
00:14:35,748 --> 00:14:37,543
I just tried one of those beers
you sold me. They're great, man.
373
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,002
I'll take another case.
374
00:14:39,002 --> 00:14:42,381
Sold? I-I thought
I was givin' it away.
375
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:45,550
Oh! Is that why
you gave me that 20 bucks?
376
00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:47,511
I thought you thought
I was a gigolo.
377
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:53,267
You know, uh, that guy, uh,
Joe Buck in "Midnight Cowboy."
378
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,768
- "Midnight Cowboy?"
- Yeah.
379
00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:56,144
- The handsome kid...
- 'Right.'
380
00:14:56,144 --> 00:14:57,354
Comes to the city...
381
00:14:59,606 --> 00:15:01,316
Please, don't take us
to prison.
382
00:15:01,316 --> 00:15:04,528
I need a specific soap
or else I get a rash.
383
00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:06,363
You're not gonna go
to prison, honey.
384
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:07,739
You're just gonna
get a fine.
385
00:15:07,739 --> 00:15:09,616
All we got is 20 bucks.
386
00:15:09,616 --> 00:15:11,618
Ah, that's it. Well, see,
now you made me a liar.
387
00:15:11,618 --> 00:15:12,953
Come on, let's go.
388
00:15:15,413 --> 00:15:17,165
- Come on.
- What are you taking me in for?
389
00:15:17,165 --> 00:15:18,918
[indistinct chattering]
390
00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:27,801
Out of my way.
Shy bladder coming through.
391
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:29,428
Oh, why did you hold it
so long?
392
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,887
Why didn't you go
when we were in jail?
393
00:15:30,887 --> 00:15:32,598
Well, there was
no toilet paper.
394
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,807
I could have got some but...
395
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:35,392
...it would have cost me
my innocence.
396
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,896
I still can't believe
they let us go.
397
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:41,190
What a great bunch of cops.
398
00:15:42,732 --> 00:15:44,151
Yeah, how about when
they took up a collection
399
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:45,235
of the holding tanks,
so we could buy gas.
400
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:46,611
What a great bunch of criminals.
401
00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:49,239
Look, uh, not the most
intelligent guys though.
402
00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:51,157
Probably still waiting for us
to come back with that pizza.
403
00:15:51,157 --> 00:15:52,534
[laughing]
404
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:54,285
And they call us bumpkins.
405
00:15:54,285 --> 00:15:56,037
[laughing]
406
00:15:56,037 --> 00:15:58,081
Okay, I'm ready.
407
00:15:58,081 --> 00:15:59,666
- Does anyone want a ride?
- I'll go with you.
408
00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:01,584
Wait a second. Wait, wait, wait.
Nobody's going anywhere.
409
00:16:01,584 --> 00:16:03,211
We haven't had any fun yet.
410
00:16:03,211 --> 00:16:05,755
Hey, let's have a party.
A slumber party.
411
00:16:05,755 --> 00:16:07,883
At each of our individual
houses, huh? Hey.
412
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:10,635
- Yeah, yeah.
- Wait, wait, wait.
413
00:16:10,635 --> 00:16:12,012
It's not even 11 o'clock yet.
414
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:14,556
I-I bet we could go
see a midnight movie.
415
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:17,350
Hey, how about we each rent our
own individual midnight movies
416
00:16:17,350 --> 00:16:20,019
and watch it in our own beds?
Hey! Let's go.
417
00:16:20,019 --> 00:16:21,604
No, no, no, no, no.
418
00:16:21,604 --> 00:16:24,775
I'm talking about
the midnight movie.
419
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,651
"The Rocky Horror Picture Show."
420
00:16:26,651 --> 00:16:28,195
- 'What?'
- Oh, my God.
421
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,613
We haven't done
that since high school.
422
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,531
- Yeah.
- This sounds like a lot of fun.
423
00:16:31,531 --> 00:16:32,532
- Yeah.
- Let's do it!
424
00:16:32,532 --> 00:16:33,950
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
425
00:16:33,950 --> 00:16:35,077
Only this time,
we won't get wasted
426
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,578
and question our sexuality.
427
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,209
Like everyone except me did.
428
00:16:43,835 --> 00:16:45,087
Let's hurry up
and change.
429
00:16:51,467 --> 00:16:54,013
I can't believe I can still
fit in my Brad costume.
430
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,014
Except now,
do you feel outrageous?
431
00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:57,558
I don't know about you
but that breeze
432
00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:00,185
I'm feeling
is pretty outrageous.
433
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,937
Let me ask you something,
Oswald.
434
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:04,397
Why is it that that corset
you've had stored away
435
00:17:04,397 --> 00:17:06,441
for all these years
look so frayed?
436
00:17:06,441 --> 00:17:10,237
Hey, I use it as a weight belt
when I'm delivering packages.
437
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:11,863
Yeah, I only like beer
438
00:17:11,863 --> 00:17:13,157
'cause those little frogs
are so damn cute.
439
00:17:14,657 --> 00:17:15,909
No.
440
00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:17,828
- 'Look.'
- 'Oh, my God.'
441
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:18,912
It can't be.
442
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:24,709
(Drew)
Hey, what's goin' on here?
443
00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:26,295
What happened to
"The Rocky Horror Show?"
444
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:30,174
It's gone like your pants
and his self-respect.
445
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,050
Oh, yeah, "Rocky Horror's"
a hell of a lot
446
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:33,051
better than "Priscilla."
447
00:17:33,051 --> 00:17:35,053
[crowd booing]
448
00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:37,889
Oh, my God.
You're transvestite.
449
00:17:37,889 --> 00:17:39,058
It's all comin'
together now.
450
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:42,686
She's as straight
as rest of us.
451
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,562
Oh, this stinks.
452
00:17:44,562 --> 00:17:46,648
"Rocky Horror" has better music,
better dancin'
453
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:47,899
better everything.
454
00:17:47,899 --> 00:17:49,776
[crowd booing]
455
00:17:49,776 --> 00:17:53,321
Sorry, Carey, your drag
is old, our drag is new.
456
00:17:53,321 --> 00:17:54,323
[crowd cheering]
457
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,909
Oh, yeah?
458
00:17:57,909 --> 00:18:00,496
Oh, I got something
to say about that.
459
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,164
[Richard O'Brien singing
"The Time Warp"]
460
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,919
♪ It's astounding ♪
461
00:18:07,919 --> 00:18:10,172
♪ Time is fleeting ♪
462
00:18:11,464 --> 00:18:16,052
♪ Madness takes its toll ♪
463
00:18:16,052 --> 00:18:18,930
♪ I remember ♪
464
00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:22,100
♪ Doing the time warp ♪
465
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:26,562
♪ Drinking those moments when ♪
466
00:18:26,562 --> 00:18:29,316
♪ The blackness would hit me ♪
467
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:33,236
♪ And the void
would be calling ♪
468
00:18:33,236 --> 00:18:43,372
♪ Let's do
the time warp again ♪
469
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,873
Is that all you brought?
I'll show you how to do drag.
470
00:18:45,873 --> 00:18:47,500
[Dino Fekaris singing
"Shake Your Groove Thing"]
471
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:51,255
♪ There's nothing more
that I'd like to do ♪
472
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,965
♪ Than take the floor
and dance with you ♪
473
00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:57,219
♪ Keep dancin' ♪
474
00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:01,472
♪ Let's keep dancin' ♪
475
00:19:01,472 --> 00:19:02,599
♪ Dance ♪
476
00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:09,355
♪ Shake it shake it ♪
477
00:19:09,355 --> 00:19:12,859
♪ Let show the world
we can dance ♪
478
00:19:12,859 --> 00:19:16,612
♪ We do more
out on the floor ♪
479
00:19:16,612 --> 00:19:20,116
♪ Groovin' loose
or heart to heart ♪
480
00:19:20,116 --> 00:19:23,870
♪ We put in motion
every single part ♪
481
00:19:23,870 --> 00:19:27,457
♪ Funky sounds
wall to wall ♪
482
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:30,960
♪ We're bumpin' booties
havin' us a ball y'all ♪
483
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:35,173
♪ Let's do
the time warp again ♪
484
00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:37,759
♪ It's just a jump
to the left ♪
485
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:41,388
♪ Whoa and then a step
to the right ♪
486
00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:44,224
♪ With your hands
on your hips ♪
487
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:46,851
♪ You bring your knees
in tight ♪
488
00:19:46,851 --> 00:19:49,479
♪ But it's the pelvic thrust ♪
489
00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:53,316
♪ That really drives you
insane ♪
490
00:19:53,316 --> 00:19:57,904
♪ Let's do
the time warp again ♪
491
00:19:57,904 --> 00:20:00,740
♪ Shake your groove thing
shake your groove thing ♪
492
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:02,700
♪ Yeah yeah ♪
493
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:05,203
♪ Show 'em how we do it now ♪
494
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:07,956
♪ Shake your groove thing
shake your groove thing ♪
495
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:10,083
♪ Yeah yeah ♪
496
00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:12,168
♪ Show 'em how we do it now ♪
497
00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:16,547
♪ Let's do
the time warp again ♪
498
00:20:16,547 --> 00:20:19,550
♪ Shake your groove thing
shake your groove thing ♪
499
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:21,803
♪ Yeah yeah ♪
500
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:27,391
♪ Let's do the time warp
let's do the time warp ♪
501
00:20:27,391 --> 00:20:31,939
♪ Let's do the time
warp again ♪
502
00:20:48,496 --> 00:20:51,333
Oh, man, my feet
are killing me.
503
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:55,169
Next time, I'm a transvestite
in sensible shoes.
504
00:20:55,169 --> 00:20:57,464
I may look the look
but I ain't walkin' the walk.
505
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,133
So, I bet you don't feel like
506
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,677
old man Carey anymore,
huh, Drew?
507
00:21:02,677 --> 00:21:04,095
Yeah, quit bogartin' the Bengay.
508
00:21:04,095 --> 00:21:05,972
(Oswald)
'Huh?'
509
00:21:05,972 --> 00:21:09,518
All I'm saying is Mr. Wick
was wearing a Wonderbra
510
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:10,727
'cause there was no way
that was natural.
511
00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:12,437
- Um-um.
- No.
512
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,856
Yeah, still for a bunch
of corn-fed Midwesterners
513
00:21:14,856 --> 00:21:16,149
we really turned it out.
514
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,567
[chuckling]
515
00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:19,402
Can I ask you one thing?
516
00:21:19,402 --> 00:21:22,238
How come we always get sucked
into these big dance things?
517
00:21:22,238 --> 00:21:24,032
Why?
518
00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:25,825
I'll tell you why.
519
00:21:25,825 --> 00:21:28,036
Five, six, seven, eight.
520
00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:31,039
[instrumental music]
35466
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