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1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,168
Hey, Drew, how was your
ride home last night?
2
00:00:03,168 --> 00:00:05,588
Well, first, I thought the
potato you put in my tailpipe
3
00:00:05,588 --> 00:00:07,674
was the trick, but then...
4
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:11,051
...I thought it was the
Krazy Glue on the accelerator.
5
00:00:11,051 --> 00:00:14,639
Then, I thought it was the dead
fish you put underneath my seat.
6
00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:16,641
Then I realized that, that was
only there to feed the raccoon.
7
00:00:18,392 --> 00:00:20,728
Okay, so how was your ride home?
8
00:00:20,728 --> 00:00:22,688
Well, after a brief
struggle with the raccoon
9
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:24,940
over control of the car,
which I won...
10
00:00:24,940 --> 00:00:27,568
...and after another fight over
the fish, which I also won
11
00:00:27,568 --> 00:00:29,028
I went home, had
a nice grilled trout dinner
12
00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:32,657
and a series of shots.
Thank you very much.
13
00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:35,993
You have to admit, the raccoon
and the fish were genius.
14
00:00:35,993 --> 00:00:38,496
Yeah, well, next to you, any
small-brained animal's a genius.
15
00:00:40,164 --> 00:00:43,626
You're just jealous
'cause I'm the master!
16
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,670
I'd have you bow down
to me if I thought
17
00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,630
you had a waist to bend at.
18
00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:52,218
Hey, bagel man,
where's the fire?
19
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:53,595
Hey, uh, Mimi,
you mind if I borrow
20
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:54,971
some of your squeeze margarine?
21
00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:56,431
(Mimi)
Go get your own, pig!
22
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,476
[thuds]
23
00:01:00,476 --> 00:01:03,021
Um-num-num-num-num.
24
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:06,857
Um! Num-nummy-num-num.
25
00:01:06,857 --> 00:01:08,234
Ho-ho-um!
26
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,736
Oho-um-nummy-num.
27
00:01:10,736 --> 00:01:12,989
Num! Um-num-mmm...
28
00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:14,991
Mm... mm. Argh.
29
00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:17,743
[spits and groans]
Dah! Ah!
30
00:01:17,743 --> 00:01:19,370
Ooh, what was on there?
31
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,915
I'll give you a hint.
Eat. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
32
00:01:24,875 --> 00:01:26,627
[Mimi groans]
33
00:01:26,627 --> 00:01:29,213
Drew, I need you
to put on this blindfold.
34
00:01:29,213 --> 00:01:32,049
Hey, about time we got over
this whole platonic thing.
35
00:01:32,049 --> 00:01:36,012
Yeah, it would take a blindfold
to get over this platonic thing.
36
00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:39,890
[bottle hisses]
Now, taste... this.
37
00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:42,893
Wow! A blindfold
and the words, "taste this."
38
00:01:42,893 --> 00:01:44,479
What could possibly go wrong?
39
00:01:46,522 --> 00:01:48,440
[clicks tongue]
Coffee? Beer?
40
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,151
Buzz Beer.
41
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:52,612
"Cap-Beer-Cino?"
What the hell is this?
42
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:55,907
It's a microbrewery started up
by some guys in Shaker Heights.
43
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,033
You know what I think?
44
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,785
I think they stole our idea.
45
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,412
Oh, my God. It tastes just like
Buzz Beer. They ripped us off!
46
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:02,913
- See?
- We can't afford competition.
47
00:02:02,913 --> 00:02:06,626
We're barely breaking
even as a monopoly.
48
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:09,628
Carey, I need those files with
the employee health benefits.
49
00:02:09,628 --> 00:02:10,963
Yes, sir. Right away.
50
00:02:10,963 --> 00:02:12,757
Oh, good Lord, man!
51
00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,050
It's nine o'clock
in the morning.
52
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:16,219
You're already half in the bag!
53
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:17,470
Have you been drinking?
54
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,179
No, sir. I haven't
been drinking at all.
55
00:02:19,179 --> 00:02:20,223
[belches]
56
00:02:22,182 --> 00:02:25,061
I'm sorry that was, uh,
beer battered shrimp.
57
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:27,063
Uh, Mr. Wick, in Drew's defense
58
00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,983
I've seen him way drunker than
this much earlier in the day.
59
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:34,820
Carey, call yourself a cab
and go home immediately.
60
00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:37,615
Oh, come on. This is ridiculous.
I'm perfectly sober.
61
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:40,368
I'm not drunk. I haven't
been drinking at all.
62
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:43,413
Um, why don't you
give him a chance, sir?
63
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,166
Ask him to walk a straight line.
64
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,543
Alright, then.
Let's see it.
65
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,295
- Please be careful, Drew.
- Pfft.
66
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:53,047
[thuds]
67
00:02:56,675 --> 00:02:59,262
I think he
swallowed his tongue.
68
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,972
I'd better give him
the Heimlich.
69
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,976
[The Vogues singing
"Five O'clock World"]
70
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:08,312
♪ Up every morning
just to keep a job ♪
71
00:03:08,312 --> 00:03:12,691
♪ I gotta fight my way
through the hustling mob ♪
72
00:03:12,691 --> 00:03:16,153
♪ Sounds of the city
poundin' in my brain ♪
73
00:03:16,153 --> 00:03:18,447
♪ While another day
goes down the drain ♪
74
00:03:18,447 --> 00:03:19,866
♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪
75
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,742
♪ But it's
a five o'clock world ♪
76
00:03:21,742 --> 00:03:24,245
♪ When the whistle blows ♪
77
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:27,289
♪ No one owns
a piece of my time ♪
78
00:03:27,289 --> 00:03:31,669
♪ And there's a five o'clock
me inside my clothes ♪
79
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:35,965
♪ Thinkin' that
the world looks fine yeah ♪
80
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,049
♪ Holiday ♪
81
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:38,217
♪ Hey ♪
82
00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:39,802
♪ Ee-e-e yeah ♪
83
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:40,845
♪ Hey ♪
84
00:03:41,762 --> 00:03:42,764
♪ Hey ♪
85
00:03:43,639 --> 00:03:45,058
[instrumental music]
86
00:03:46,725 --> 00:03:49,062
[indistinct chattering]
87
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,938
How did you guys get
all this stuff in one load?
88
00:03:50,938 --> 00:03:52,523
Usually, you gotta make
two or three trips.
89
00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,400
Well, we got
a great deal on a used truck.
90
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,151
No other coffee-beer company's
gonna be able to deliver
91
00:03:56,151 --> 00:03:58,195
their beer any
faster or better than we can.
92
00:03:58,195 --> 00:04:00,489
Yeah. It's a refrigerated
truck, too.
93
00:04:00,489 --> 00:04:04,243
It's so cold in the back,
Oswald made a frozen sneeze.
94
00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:05,745
You should see it.
It's just hangin' there.
95
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:12,794
Hey, how you doin'?
96
00:04:17,297 --> 00:04:20,384
I'm Chris Vanderkamp,
owner of Cap-Beer-Cino.
97
00:04:20,384 --> 00:04:22,886
I'm lookin' for someone
who does the buying here.
98
00:04:22,886 --> 00:04:25,098
I do a lot of buying here.
Welcome to Drew's.
99
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,642
Cap-Beer-Cino, huh?
Coffee-flavored beer.
100
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:29,477
Where'd you ever come up
with an idea like this?
101
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:30,895
Well, it's an interesting story.
102
00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,188
You know what
a eureka moment is?
103
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,564
Yeah.
104
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:34,982
I was drinking
a bottle of Buzz Beer
105
00:04:34,982 --> 00:04:37,818
and I said,
"Eureka! I can duplicate this."
106
00:04:37,818 --> 00:04:40,487
[laughing]
107
00:04:40,487 --> 00:04:41,989
I'm havin' a eureka
moment right now.
108
00:04:41,989 --> 00:04:44,033
[banging]
Eureka! There's a club
behind the bar!
109
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,828
You ripped me off!
110
00:04:47,828 --> 00:04:48,955
I'm-I'm Drew Carey.
111
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,623
I'm one of
the owners of Buzz Beer.
112
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,875
Wow. I always thought it
might be a little uncomfortable
113
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,585
meeting you, but it's not.
114
00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,671
Because, my lawyer said
there's nothing you can do.
115
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:59,590
Ours says cappuccino,
not coffee.
116
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:02,135
[scoffs]
Oh, so you rip me off.
You think you can come in here
117
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,636
and sell your beer
in my neighborhood bar?
118
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,345
Well, let me tell you
something here, buddy.
119
00:05:05,345 --> 00:05:06,847
Nobody around here is
gonna be buying that stuff.
120
00:05:06,847 --> 00:05:08,140
If we want some with
cappuccino
121
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:09,809
then we'll go to...
122
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,602
We-we don't know where
we're gonna go, we don't care.
123
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,062
But we're not gonna drink it
around here, that's for sure.
124
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,438
So thanks for stopping by.
125
00:05:14,438 --> 00:05:16,023
Well, I don't
know about that.
126
00:05:16,023 --> 00:05:17,482
Why don't we let these
two customers decide?
127
00:05:17,482 --> 00:05:18,735
See if they'll buy.
128
00:05:19,526 --> 00:05:20,569
Okay, fine.
129
00:05:20,569 --> 00:05:22,613
Uh, excuse me, strangers.
130
00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,198
This is Mr. Vanderkamp.
131
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:26,825
He has a new beer
he'd like you to try.
132
00:05:26,825 --> 00:05:29,703
Well, I don't know,
I feel kinda funny
133
00:05:29,703 --> 00:05:31,997
taking something from a guy
I've never seen before
134
00:05:31,997 --> 00:05:34,375
and another guy
I've really never seen before.
135
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,295
Okay. We'll give it a shot.
136
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,757
That is... if we know each other.
137
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:44,343
We do know
each other, don't we?
138
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:46,095
Just drinkit... sir.
139
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:52,810
Mm. It's not bad.
140
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:54,312
[laughs]
141
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,521
That's Cap-Beer-Cino.
142
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,690
It's the new competition
for Buzz Beer.
143
00:05:58,399 --> 00:05:59,650
Oh.
144
00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:02,987
Well, it's malty, nutty...
145
00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:05,198
...yet, I'm completely blind!
146
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,365
Oh, no.
147
00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,951
- Ah!
- He can't see anything.
148
00:06:10,243 --> 00:06:11,204
Hey, guys...
149
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:13,414
...from Buzz Beer.
150
00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:17,710
Hey, Buzz Beer guys?
151
00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,297
Hey! Buzz Beer guys.
152
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,591
Uh, you want us
to give a message
153
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:24,675
to the Buzz Beer guys?
154
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,135
Oh, this is too good.
155
00:06:27,135 --> 00:06:28,762
You're the brains
of the operation?
156
00:06:28,762 --> 00:06:31,556
- Ha-ha-ha.
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
157
00:06:31,556 --> 00:06:33,600
Violence never
solved anything.
158
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,560
Oh, yeah?
World War I, World War II.
159
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:36,979
"Star Wars," every Super Bowl.
160
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:38,940
Who said violence
never solved anything?
161
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,399
Drew, Drew, Drew.
162
00:06:40,399 --> 00:06:42,318
Can we stop pretending
to hold you now?
163
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,074
Alright. I may not be able
to stop you from selling
164
00:06:49,074 --> 00:06:51,118
your beer around here, but let
me tell you something, pal.
165
00:06:51,118 --> 00:06:53,829
You're in for a fight.
Because we got a truck now
166
00:06:53,829 --> 00:06:54,955
and everybody's gonna
know we're coming.
167
00:06:54,955 --> 00:06:56,290
Yeah.
168
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:59,293
[instrumental
"Pop Goes The Weasel"]
169
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:04,965
Hey, this isn't
so bad, huh?
170
00:07:04,965 --> 00:07:07,051
We should've bought
a truck a long time ago.
171
00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:08,970
Yeah. Like, 80 years ago,
when it was new.
172
00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:11,555
Hey, I think we're lucky.
173
00:07:11,555 --> 00:07:12,639
Who would've thought
an ice cream truck
174
00:07:12,639 --> 00:07:13,850
would've been so cheap?
175
00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:19,230
♪ We're driving
in our beer truck ♪
176
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,356
♪ Delivering our be-er ♪
177
00:07:21,356 --> 00:07:23,442
♪ We'll bring
our beer to everyone ♪
178
00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:26,445
♪ Please stop the music ♪
179
00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:28,364
Uh-oh. We're headed into
another school zone.
180
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:29,657
Battle positions, everyone.
181
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,492
[music continues]
182
00:07:32,492 --> 00:07:35,663
It's that music. It's like
a magnet for these kids.
183
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:37,748
Doesn't anyone know
how to shut it off?
184
00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:39,959
Oh, yeah. I do.
I just chose to listen to it
185
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,085
for the last three hours.
186
00:07:42,586 --> 00:07:44,171
How does it go again?
187
00:07:44,171 --> 00:07:46,007
Dum-dum-da-da-dum.
Oh, yeah. That's it.
188
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,385
Oh, my God!
189
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:50,969
The Little League
game just ended.
190
00:07:50,969 --> 00:07:52,387
We've got
six 10-speeds on our tail
191
00:07:52,387 --> 00:07:53,430
and they've got bats!
192
00:07:53,430 --> 00:07:54,765
Ah!
193
00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:57,018
We're not an ice cream truck!
194
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,727
We don't have any ice cream!
195
00:07:58,727 --> 00:08:01,605
We only got beer!
196
00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:03,691
Oh, God! They're peddling
running faster!
197
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:06,569
[glasses shattering]
198
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,863
Thermostat is stuck,
all the beer is blowing out
199
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,448
from the cold.
200
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,032
We've got over
200 cases back there
201
00:08:12,032 --> 00:08:13,618
we can't afford to lose that.
202
00:08:14,951 --> 00:08:16,661
Hey, the kids are
falling back.
203
00:08:16,661 --> 00:08:18,498
I think they think
we're shooting at them.
204
00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:22,084
There's a cop
maybe he can help us.
205
00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:23,418
- Oswald.
- Huh?
206
00:08:23,418 --> 00:08:26,756
We are now driving
in a giant open container!
207
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,924
Oh! Oh! This is great!
208
00:08:28,924 --> 00:08:31,259
We buy a truck
and it breaks down the next day.
209
00:08:31,259 --> 00:08:34,054
I guess the odometer said
a million and one miles.
210
00:08:34,054 --> 00:08:36,557
We bought a 11.
We have to take it back.
211
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,768
Oh, we're losing
our entire inventory.
212
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,603
Our new truck is screwed up.
213
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,354
At least things
couldn't get any worse.
214
00:08:42,354 --> 00:08:44,857
[music repeating]
215
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,443
Alright, that's it.
I'm taking her into the river.
216
00:08:48,443 --> 00:08:50,112
[tires screeching]
No!
217
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:52,114
[instrumental music]
218
00:08:54,199 --> 00:08:55,867
I can't believe the guy at
the dealership wouldn't fix
219
00:08:55,867 --> 00:08:58,412
the refrigeration unit 'cause it
wasn't covered under a warranty.
220
00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,164
Well, let this
be a lesson to us.
221
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:01,582
Never sign a warranty
222
00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,209
that's written
on the back of a subpoena.
223
00:09:04,918 --> 00:09:06,211
I hope Lewis and Oswald
224
00:09:06,211 --> 00:09:08,171
gave those guys
a piece of their mind.
225
00:09:08,171 --> 00:09:10,341
Man, this really ticks me off.
226
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,759
I know what happened.
227
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,718
They saw you
walk in the door and thought
228
00:09:13,718 --> 00:09:16,722
"Now there's a sucker.
What a pathetic hub!
229
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,974
"I can't wait to take
advantage of this
230
00:09:18,974 --> 00:09:21,602
"big, clueless moron
with the dweeby glasses
231
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,187
and this stupid hair--"
232
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,564
Kate!
233
00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:27,691
- Oh, yeah. You do have a point.
- Yeah.
234
00:09:27,691 --> 00:09:29,067
Hey.
235
00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:30,319
You're one of our
main Buzz Beer guys.
236
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:31,487
Why are you
drinking cappuccino?
237
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,614
Supermodel Rachel Hunter
238
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,116
she drinks this beer.
239
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:38,244
So if I drink it,
she'll like me.
240
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:41,538
Rachel Hunter wouldn't like you
if you were made out of gold.
241
00:09:41,538 --> 00:09:43,332
Besides, who needs
supermodels anyway?
242
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,501
Now, Buzz Beer is the beer
of attainable women.
243
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:46,752
Hey! We have a new slogan.
244
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,003
No. No, we don't.
245
00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:49,672
Hey, I'll tell you a slogan.
246
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,506
Cap-Beer-Cino.
247
00:09:51,506 --> 00:09:54,135
The beer of beautiful people.
248
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,178
Oh, yeah? Well, if you're gonna
be one of the beautiful people
249
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:58,055
you'd better get rid of that
flabby guy suit you're wearing.
250
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:04,645
Oh, would you look at this?
It's a Cap-Beer-Cino invasion.
251
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:07,106
Like, she really
drinks Cap-Beer-Cino.
252
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,774
I do drink Cap-Beer-Cino.
253
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,028
Wow. It's Rachel Hunter.
Hey, listen, uh...
254
00:10:13,028 --> 00:10:14,738
...if you never got
my letters I'm, uh...
255
00:10:14,738 --> 00:10:16,157
...I'm sleepless
and hungry in Cleveland.
256
00:10:17,824 --> 00:10:19,660
That's-that's not
Rachel Hunter, it can't be.
257
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:21,036
It is Rachel Hunter,
I know Rachel Hunter
258
00:10:21,036 --> 00:10:22,872
like the back
of my hand... kinda.
259
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,418
Hi, Rachel.
260
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,753
Um, we made Buzz Beer.
261
00:10:29,753 --> 00:10:31,254
We don't have
a lot of money.
262
00:10:31,254 --> 00:10:33,007
We don't have
an advertising budget
263
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,550
but I'm still
gonna try to compete
264
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:37,135
with Cap-Beer-Cino
for your endorsement.
265
00:10:37,135 --> 00:10:38,429
Now, let's both
write down a number
266
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:39,722
that we think
is reasonable
267
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,016
and see how far off
we are. Okay?
268
00:10:44,351 --> 00:10:45,686
- Okay.
- Alright.
269
00:10:53,068 --> 00:10:54,028
Time's up!
270
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:56,781
Pencils down, people!
271
00:10:58,365 --> 00:10:59,533
Could I have some
more paper, please?
272
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,952
Alright, you made your point.
273
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:03,662
[Oswald sighs]
274
00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:04,705
Hey, Drew.
275
00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:08,709
Do I get to work
with these guys?
276
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:11,629
'Causethatwould
changeeverything.
277
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:14,005
We got blown off
by asupermodel!
278
00:11:14,005 --> 00:11:16,132
(Lewis)
Who-hoo!
279
00:11:16,132 --> 00:11:18,301
Hey, so how'd it go?
How did the protest go?
280
00:11:18,301 --> 00:11:20,053
I'm, uh, guessing
it was hot outside
281
00:11:20,053 --> 00:11:22,973
'cause the words, "lemon fresh"
really don't apply here, buddy.
282
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:26,560
Hey, give us a break. We spent
six hours in the hot sun.
283
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:28,103
Well, what did the guy
at the dealership say?
284
00:11:28,103 --> 00:11:29,855
Well, uh, first
he tried to ignore us
285
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,064
but, you know,
you can only ignore
286
00:11:31,064 --> 00:11:32,941
two giant lemons for so long.
287
00:11:32,941 --> 00:11:35,861
Especially, when Oswald fell
on his back and couldn't get up.
288
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:39,698
Yeah, then the heat got to us,
we started throwin' up.
289
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:42,326
Yeah, before you know it,
you got two guys in lemon suits
290
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:44,995
rollin' around their
backs, throwin' up.
291
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:46,830
At that point,
you're not selling any trucks.
292
00:11:46,830 --> 00:11:48,957
- No.
- So anyway...
293
00:11:48,957 --> 00:11:51,418
He caved in and he's
fixing the refrigeration unit.
294
00:11:51,418 --> 00:11:53,295
We'll have the truck
tomorrow morning.
295
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,422
[cheering]
296
00:11:55,422 --> 00:11:56,923
Here's the kicker, Drew.
297
00:11:56,923 --> 00:11:59,676
This is what was
screwing up the thermostat.
298
00:11:59,676 --> 00:12:02,888
Oh, my God.
It's a Cap-Beer-Cino bottle cap.
299
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,681
Those creeps
sabotaged our truck.
300
00:12:04,681 --> 00:12:08,352
I got a good mind to-
hey, I won a large fry.
301
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:09,603
I know what we should do,
we should start spreading
302
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:10,979
ugly rumors about that beer.
303
00:12:10,979 --> 00:12:12,772
We'll say,
if you drink it backwards...
304
00:12:12,772 --> 00:12:14,733
...there's a satanic message.
305
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:17,694
Oh, man. They're from
Shaker Heights, they're rich.
306
00:12:17,694 --> 00:12:19,697
They got money,
lawyers, Rachel Hunter.
307
00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:25,160
What do you mean Cap-Beer-Cino
makes you impotent?
308
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,079
No, no, no, that's Buzz Beer.
309
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:30,207
I heard it this morning from
the Cap-Beer-Cino distributor.
310
00:12:31,249 --> 00:12:33,460
Oh, well, that's it!
311
00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:35,462
They can come in here
and slur my name.
312
00:12:35,462 --> 00:12:37,214
They can take away our company.
313
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:39,467
But when they blame
my occasional reluctance...
314
00:12:41,468 --> 00:12:43,970
If I had any, which I don't...
315
00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:46,849
...on Buzz Beer and not some
freaking industrial accident
316
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,142
well, then they've gone too far!
317
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,602
He-he. You're right.
318
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,686
We gotta hit 'em where it hurts.
319
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,813
- Yes!
- Hey, I got it.
320
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,022
You know, what's really
gonna hurt those guys
321
00:12:54,022 --> 00:12:55,482
in their home turf?
322
00:12:55,482 --> 00:12:57,317
They can come in here
and sell their beer.
323
00:12:57,317 --> 00:12:59,028
We'll go over to their
ritzy neighborhood
324
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:01,697
and we'll shove Buzz Beer
down those people's throats.
325
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:02,906
Hey, we got a new slogan.
326
00:13:02,906 --> 00:13:03,949
No, we don't.
327
00:13:07,577 --> 00:13:09,789
[instrumental music]
328
00:13:11,998 --> 00:13:13,667
Oh, man. There's nothing
329
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,921
like the smell of
fresh made donuts.
330
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,089
Come here, uh,
let me help you with those.
331
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,590
Go away, pig!
332
00:13:20,590 --> 00:13:22,593
Come on, Mimi. Just one donut.
333
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,594
One stinkin' donut.
334
00:13:24,594 --> 00:13:27,806
Okay, tell you what,
I'll let you smell 'em.
335
00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:28,849
Ah!
336
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,729
- Carey, I-
- Oh, sure.
337
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:36,356
It's fun for an hour, but...
338
00:13:36,356 --> 00:13:38,108
...I don't wanna
do it with you, Drew.
339
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,073
Good God!
340
00:13:45,073 --> 00:13:48,660
First the drink,
now the nose candy.
341
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:50,704
Oh! It's not
what you think, sir.
342
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:53,290
Although, I do call
it nose candy. Ha-ha-ha.
343
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:56,293
Carey, we have programs covered
by your medical benefits.
344
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:58,003
We can get you
the help you need.
345
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:01,172
Mr. Wick, I'm not a drug...
346
00:14:01,172 --> 00:14:02,758
Wait a second.
Are these, uh, paid days off?
347
00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:05,219
Wait-what am I sayin'?
348
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,137
Listen, let me put it this way.
349
00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,223
Isn't cocaine supposed
to be an appetite suppressant?
350
00:14:12,892 --> 00:14:13,853
Enough said.
351
00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:17,773
[beat boxing]
352
00:14:22,777 --> 00:14:24,612
Alright, alright. You can
wear the clothes tonight.
353
00:14:24,612 --> 00:14:25,947
But first thing in the morning
you're getting those
354
00:14:25,947 --> 00:14:27,866
naked rich people
out of your trunk.
355
00:14:27,866 --> 00:14:29,701
Hey, we're gonna be selling
our beer in Shaker Heights.
356
00:14:29,701 --> 00:14:32,662
It's a pretty fancy area.
We thought we'd better fit in.
357
00:14:32,662 --> 00:14:34,456
Well, how'd you
pay for this stuff?
358
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:37,042
An extremely liberal
return policy.
359
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,044
Which will probably
be revoked tomorrow.
360
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:40,503
- Yeah.
- Yeah. And don't worry.
361
00:14:40,503 --> 00:14:43,006
We're still ourselves.
Under all this
362
00:14:43,006 --> 00:14:45,593
is a pair of underwear
that says "Home of the whopper."
363
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:52,182
Oswald, those werea gaggift.
364
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:53,434
Yeah, well,
when you get to the bottom
365
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:54,935
of the drawer, jokes over.
366
00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:58,272
[instrumental music]
367
00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:03,652
[instrumental music]
368
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,529
- Whoa.
- Wow!
369
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:07,781
- Whoa.
- Look at this room.
370
00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,783
It's like a home for
the guys who never called.
371
00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:10,826
Yeah.
372
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:13,662
And look at all the women!
373
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:15,914
And none of 'em
have an ugly friend.
374
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:17,124
How are you supposed
to start a conversation
375
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,417
without the ugly friend?
376
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:19,710
- I don't know.
- 'Uh, excuse me.'
377
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:20,919
You-you can't bring
378
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,670
a six-pack in here, but, uh...
379
00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:24,339
...I'll be glad to keep it
for you behind the bar.
380
00:15:24,339 --> 00:15:25,966
Oh, buddy,
when I'm done talking to you
381
00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:27,300
not only will you
keep it behind the bar
382
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:28,343
you'll keep it on tap.
383
00:15:28,343 --> 00:15:30,137
[chuckles]
384
00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:32,014
Let me guess,
you're a salesman.
385
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,724
Actually,
we're a small consortium
386
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,308
representing
the owners of Buzz Beer
387
00:15:35,308 --> 00:15:36,518
who wish to remain anonymous
388
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:38,520
due to their standing
in high society.
389
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,439
Excuse me.
Are these nuts free?
390
00:15:41,439 --> 00:15:44,193
Uh, yes they are.
Help-help yourself.
391
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,778
You know, isn't this the,
uh, Cap-Beer-Cino knockoff?
392
00:15:46,778 --> 00:15:49,865
Excuse me. No matter
how many we take?
393
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:52,409
Well, uh, within reason.
Yeah. Ha ha.
394
00:15:54,452 --> 00:15:56,371
Let me tell you
a little bit about Buzz Beer.
395
00:15:56,371 --> 00:15:59,625
Like our slogan, "Buzz Beer,
friend of the urethra."
396
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,336
When did we start
putting that on the label?
397
00:16:03,336 --> 00:16:04,755
Oswald and I have been putting
398
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,298
new slogans
on the bottles every month.
399
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,800
It makes it more
exciting to buy.
400
00:16:09,884 --> 00:16:13,013
"Buzz Beer, happy birthday, mom.
Love Oswald."
401
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,392
Well, it's the only
card I knew she'd read.
402
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,979
Let me tell you about our
aggressive promotional campaign.
403
00:16:20,979 --> 00:16:22,397
When Buzz Beer started out
404
00:16:22,397 --> 00:16:24,441
we promoted it
as the working man's beer.
405
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,901
But what we're aiming at now
is the upscale market.
406
00:16:26,901 --> 00:16:29,404
The cognac crowd,
the brandy bunch.
407
00:16:29,404 --> 00:16:31,365
You know, the people that would
not let you into the ski club
408
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,409
'cause you had
homemade snow pants!
409
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,495
So, what's the campaign?
410
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,080
- Well, I'll tell you.
- Yeah. Hah.
411
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,042
We took the word, "Buzz,"
which just used to mean
412
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:44,210
how you feel after
you've had a few beers.
413
00:16:44,210 --> 00:16:47,130
But now it means,
"What's the buzz?"
414
00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:49,800
The buzz is everywhere,
and the buzz is good.
415
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,051
(all)
It's good. Yeah.
416
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:52,135
- That's our campaign.
- Uh-huh.
417
00:16:52,135 --> 00:16:53,511
What's the buzz on Wall Street?
418
00:16:53,511 --> 00:16:55,764
- Oh! Oh!
- What's the buzz in Paris?
419
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:58,516
I'll tell you what
the buzz is. The buzz is good.
420
00:16:58,516 --> 00:16:59,977
- It's good!
- 'Yeah.'
421
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,437
[chuckles]
422
00:17:02,437 --> 00:17:04,355
I'll, uh, have
to think about it.
423
00:17:04,355 --> 00:17:05,774
[chuckles]
424
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,694
Hey, it's my Buzz Beer buddies.
425
00:17:09,694 --> 00:17:11,071
How are you doin'?
426
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,864
What areyoudoin' here?
427
00:17:12,864 --> 00:17:14,532
Oh, this is my bar.
This is whereIhang out.
428
00:17:14,532 --> 00:17:16,743
This is where
Cap-Beer-Cino was born.
429
00:17:16,743 --> 00:17:18,745
You mean, stolen, don't you?
430
00:17:18,745 --> 00:17:20,289
Let me tell you
something else, bean pole.
431
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,666
You're gonna pay
for sabotaging our truck.
432
00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:25,377
I've never even
been near your truck.
433
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,129
[humming "Pop Goes the Weasel"]
434
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,171
[pops]
435
00:17:28,171 --> 00:17:29,589
[humming "Pop Goes the Weasel"]
436
00:17:29,589 --> 00:17:31,300
You bastard.
437
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,177
I think you people should leave.
438
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,137
Oh, yeah?
439
00:17:36,137 --> 00:17:37,847
- Maybe we don't wanna leave.
- Yeah.
440
00:17:37,847 --> 00:17:39,349
Maybe we just wanna stand here
441
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:41,267
and lower the per
capita income of the room.
442
00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:43,394
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
443
00:17:43,394 --> 00:17:45,564
You're also
lowering the floor, tubby.
444
00:17:46,564 --> 00:17:47,899
Alright, come on. Drew?
445
00:17:47,899 --> 00:17:49,943
Drew, don't say a word.
446
00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:50,986
No, no. Drew?
447
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,115
You know what,
they might have loads of money
448
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,866
and their fancy bars
449
00:17:56,866 --> 00:17:59,411
but we got one thing
that they'll never have.
450
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:00,787
- No class!
- That's right.
451
00:18:00,787 --> 00:18:02,289
[Chris grunting]
452
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,291
[clamoring]
453
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,293
[instrumental music]
454
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,383
[cheering]
455
00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:16,177
Man, last night was the best bar
fight I've ever been in my life.
456
00:18:16,177 --> 00:18:18,180
I wish, we would have
sold one case of beer though.
457
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,931
But we did, Drew.
We sold a case.
458
00:18:19,931 --> 00:18:22,308
We sold a big ol'
case of whoop ass.
459
00:18:22,308 --> 00:18:24,561
- Whoo!
- Ha-ha.
460
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:25,938
It's good to
be home though, huh?
461
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,439
God bless The Warsaw.
462
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,691
Hey, Joe, four Buzz Beers.
463
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,526
We don't carry
Buzz Beer anymore.
464
00:18:31,526 --> 00:18:32,986
What?
465
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:35,738
The Cap-Beer-Cino guys
got this new promotion.
466
00:18:35,738 --> 00:18:37,991
They're giving away
25 free trips to Tahiti.
467
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,827
Now, everybody
wants Cap-Beer-Cino.
468
00:18:40,827 --> 00:18:43,163
Same old story.
The rich popular kids win.
469
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,624
Oh, the hell they do.
470
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,834
Hey, listen up, everybody.
471
00:18:47,834 --> 00:18:50,378
I'm Drew Carey. I'm one
of the owners of Buzz Beer.
472
00:18:50,378 --> 00:18:52,172
Now-now something's
really wrong here.
473
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:53,966
Uh, look at what-
look at what you're drinking.
474
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,925
We're drinking
what Rachel drinks.
475
00:18:55,925 --> 00:18:58,303
What? Come on.
What's wrong with you guys?
476
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,305
You don't need
this pretentious crap.
477
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,849
You're being taken
in by their advertising.
478
00:19:02,849 --> 00:19:06,394
You can't choose a beer based
on a slick advertising campaign.
479
00:19:06,394 --> 00:19:08,605
Hey! Hey! Hey! Look, look.
480
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,524
I won! I won!
481
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,358
He-heh! I'm goin' to Tahiti.
482
00:19:12,358 --> 00:19:13,693
Ha-ha-ha.
483
00:19:13,693 --> 00:19:15,362
So long, losers.
484
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,199
[all cheering]
485
00:19:20,741 --> 00:19:22,619
Hey, whatever happened
to loyalty, huh?
486
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:23,829
We have a history
with you people.
487
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,288
This is a neighborhood bar.
488
00:19:25,288 --> 00:19:27,665
We're a neighborhood beer.
489
00:19:27,665 --> 00:19:30,877
Frank, when-when your kid had
his college graduation party
490
00:19:30,877 --> 00:19:33,046
and money was a little tight,
who funded you the money
491
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:34,756
for the kegs of beer, huh?
492
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:38,217
Buzz Beer. And, Al...
493
00:19:38,217 --> 00:19:40,803
...you couldn't get
lucky to save your life.
494
00:19:40,803 --> 00:19:43,056
What beer makes you
more interesting, huh?
495
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,474
Buzz Beer.
496
00:19:45,474 --> 00:19:47,310
Frannie,
when you caught your husband
497
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:48,644
in bed with your best friend
498
00:19:48,644 --> 00:19:51,397
what beer bottle did
you slam over his head?
499
00:19:51,397 --> 00:19:53,316
Buzz Beer!
500
00:19:53,316 --> 00:19:55,610
Stan, what beer made you
501
00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:58,071
sleep late and get fired, huh?
502
00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:00,407
That's a bad example,
but listen...
503
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,408
...what beer did you
cry to the next day?
504
00:20:02,408 --> 00:20:04,744
Buzz Beer.
So what's your beer, huh?
505
00:20:04,744 --> 00:20:06,371
(all)
Buzz Beer!
506
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,790
Wait a minute. Beer is beer.
507
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:12,210
We get just as drunk on
their beer as we do on yours.
508
00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:14,879
And yours,
we don't get Rachel Hunter.
509
00:20:14,879 --> 00:20:17,257
Hey, forget
Rachel Hunter, alright?
510
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:20,177
This is a neighborhood bar.
You want a neighborhood girl.
511
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,971
So instead of Rachel Hunter, who
won't even return your letters
512
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:24,556
believe me, I know...
513
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,724
...we're giving away
514
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:28,184
a free date with Kate.
515
00:20:28,184 --> 00:20:29,644
What?
516
00:20:29,644 --> 00:20:32,188
[cheering and applause]
517
00:20:32,188 --> 00:20:34,774
'Cause Buzz Beer is
the beer of attainable women.
518
00:20:34,774 --> 00:20:35,900
[crowd cheering]
519
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,402
What?
520
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,863
The buzz is everywhere
and the buzz is good!
521
00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:41,281
[cheering continues]
522
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:44,492
[chanting]
Buzz Beer. Buzz Beer. Buzz Beer.
523
00:20:44,492 --> 00:20:46,828
Okay, lets get this
Cap-Beer-Cino crap outta here.
524
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:48,955
(all)
Yeah!
525
00:20:48,955 --> 00:20:50,707
Dibs on the cut-out.
526
00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,709
[instrumental music]
527
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,255
(Drew)
Okay, I'm almost done.
Has anybody seen us?
528
00:20:57,255 --> 00:20:58,673
No, the coast is clear.
529
00:20:58,673 --> 00:21:01,300
Drew, are you sure this
is absolutely necessary?
530
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:03,095
Drew, I know, we hate
Cap-Beer-Cino and everything
531
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,680
but I think we went too far.
This is evil.
532
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,015
Hey, listen, they tried
to put us out of business.
533
00:21:08,015 --> 00:21:10,268
They sabotaged our truck. Poor
Oswald could've been killed.
534
00:21:10,268 --> 00:21:11,937
- Yeah, but still.
- Yeah.
535
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,188
Come on, let's
just get outta here.
536
00:21:16,649 --> 00:21:19,069
[instrumental music]
37255
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