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1
00:00:00,791 --> 00:00:02,502
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:06,213 --> 00:00:07,632
This is insane.
3
00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:10,260
I've never seen
this much traffic.
4
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:12,303
This new parking garage
is a nightmare.
5
00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:14,263
How could our store put
an employee crosswalk
6
00:00:14,263 --> 00:00:15,765
right next to the
freeway off ramp.
7
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,141
It's a death trap.
8
00:00:17,141 --> 00:00:19,727
It's gettin' worse and worse.
9
00:00:19,727 --> 00:00:22,730
It that a new cross planted
over there in the median?
10
00:00:22,730 --> 00:00:26,234
Oh, no. It's just what's left of
the pedestrian crossing sign.
11
00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:29,987
So who feels lucky today?
12
00:00:29,987 --> 00:00:32,406
I like breakfast. I'll go.
13
00:00:32,406 --> 00:00:33,491
Be careful.
14
00:00:35,784 --> 00:00:38,037
(all)
Go, go, go!
15
00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:39,205
Come back, come back,
come back!
16
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,540
[screaming]
17
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,792
[horn blaring]
18
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,377
You saw how fast that food
mobile was goin'?
19
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,003
Who was driving
that thing, Evelyn Wood?
20
00:00:46,003 --> 00:00:47,505
Alright.
21
00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:48,631
- I'll take point.
- No...
22
00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:51,050
- No!
- Hey!
23
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,428
My yoga master said
face your fear.
24
00:00:54,428 --> 00:00:56,014
There are no cars here.
25
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:58,140
There are just many
opportunities for one object
26
00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:00,101
to pass safely
through many other objects.
27
00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:01,561
Shh.
28
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,020
I'm the wind.
29
00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:04,897
I'm brother to the puma.
30
00:01:04,897 --> 00:01:07,608
Oh, yeah? Well, my friend,
Mr. Jackson says
31
00:01:07,608 --> 00:01:09,276
"Chuck's gonna be
eatin' bugs off a girl
32
00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:11,153
before he hits a double light."
33
00:01:11,153 --> 00:01:12,238
Any takers?
34
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,574
Don't listen to her, Chuck.
35
00:01:15,574 --> 00:01:17,243
You can do it.
36
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,578
I'm in complete control.
37
00:01:19,578 --> 00:01:21,289
I'm walking
through an open prairie.
38
00:01:22,581 --> 00:01:25,960
(all chanting)
Go, go, go!
39
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:29,339
(all)
Come back, come back, come back!
40
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,382
They're messing
with my mind, man!
41
00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:33,592
When you're dodgin' a pickup,
yoga don't mean jack.
42
00:01:33,592 --> 00:01:34,636
Yeah...
43
00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:38,264
I can't afford
to get docked again.
44
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,224
I'm goin' for it.
45
00:01:40,224 --> 00:01:42,268
Happy sunny good morning, everyone.
46
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,437
Hey, Faith.
You're the optimist.
47
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:45,480
When Larry gets hit,
do you think
48
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,855
he'd be half dead or half alive?
49
00:01:46,855 --> 00:01:48,399
Aww, don't let 'em
scare you, Larry.
50
00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:49,900
You'll make it
'cause you're a good person.
51
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:52,403
And good things
happen to good people.
52
00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:54,322
Sheesh, I'm gonna cross,
just to get away from you.
53
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:56,783
[screaming]
54
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,076
- Go!
- Go!
55
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,410
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
He's flippin' off.
56
00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:00,495
He's too cocky!
He's too cocky!
57
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:01,579
You'll never make it!
58
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:04,207
Damn, you beautiful bastard!
59
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,499
Now there's a puma, Chuck.
60
00:02:05,499 --> 00:02:07,501
He made it!
He's on the other side!
61
00:02:07,501 --> 00:02:09,503
[cheering]
62
00:02:09,503 --> 00:02:12,715
- Well, I guess it's my turn.
- No, Faith.
63
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:14,384
At least wait a few minutes
till rush hour is over.
64
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,802
You're wearing a teddy
bear backpack.
65
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,845
- Everyone's gonna wanna hit ya.
- No, can't do.
66
00:02:17,845 --> 00:02:19,764
I open the daycare center
promptly at 9:00.
67
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,140
The children are waiting for me.
68
00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:22,475
And don't worry, my smile
69
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:23,976
will be my crossing guard.
70
00:02:23,976 --> 00:02:25,978
Have a nice day.
71
00:02:25,978 --> 00:02:27,813
Well, you know, she's an expert
so maybe with a little luck--
72
00:02:27,813 --> 00:02:28,856
[thud]
73
00:02:28,856 --> 00:02:29,899
[all gasps]
74
00:02:32,109 --> 00:02:33,736
[theme song]
75
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,446
♪ Up every morning ♪
♪ Hey ♪
76
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:37,072
♪ Just to keep a job ♪
♪ Hey ♪
77
00:02:37,072 --> 00:02:39,200
♪ I gotta fight my way ♪
♪ Hey ♪
78
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,618
♪ Through the hustling mob ♪
♪ Hey ♪
79
00:02:41,618 --> 00:02:43,037
♪ Sounds of the city ♪
♪ Hey ♪
80
00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:44,830
♪ Pounding in my brain ♪
♪ Hey ♪
81
00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:46,374
♪ While another day ♪
♪ Hey ♪
82
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,626
♪ Goes down the drain ♪
♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪
83
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:52,964
♪ But it's a 5 o'clock world
when the whistle blows ♪
84
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:55,967
♪ No one owns
a piece of my time ♪
85
00:02:55,967 --> 00:03:00,471
♪ And there's a 5 o'clock me
inside my clothes ♪
86
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:04,725
♪ Thinking that the world
looks fine yeah ♪
87
00:03:04,725 --> 00:03:06,728
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Holiday ♪
88
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,479
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Ee-e-e yeah ♪
89
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,607
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Hey ♪
90
00:03:12,107 --> 00:03:14,235
[instrumental music]
91
00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:16,195
Hey, Larry. We're sendin'
this get well card
92
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:18,072
to Faith in the hospital,
you haven't signed it.
93
00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:22,117
Uh, I started to sign it
then my pen ran out of interest.
94
00:03:22,117 --> 00:03:24,704
- I think you should sign it.
- And I live to please you.
95
00:03:28,624 --> 00:03:30,210
Hey, Mimi, checkin'
your mornin' traps?
96
00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:35,673
Stay.
97
00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:39,969
Now, bite me, jackass!
98
00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:43,097
Hey, I didn't pick you to
replace Faith
99
00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,099
at the daycare center.
The kids did.
100
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:46,976
They all said, "We want bozo."
101
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:52,231
Now you better find somebody
to replace me pretty quick!
102
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:53,900
Thank you, Scary Poppins.
103
00:03:55,609 --> 00:03:59,405
Hey, kids, remember
that cute little pig "Babe?"
104
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:00,948
(kids)
Yes.
105
00:04:00,948 --> 00:04:02,199
He ate him!
106
00:04:02,199 --> 00:04:03,534
[gasping]
107
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:04,577
Ha!
108
00:04:08,288 --> 00:04:09,374
[Nigel laughing]
109
00:04:10,666 --> 00:04:11,626
(Nigel)
Heh!
110
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,797
Richardson, I need you.
111
00:04:17,631 --> 00:04:19,217
Richardson,
this is a strange request
112
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,427
but would you mind blowing up
a balloon for me?
113
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,971
I'm celebrating something.
114
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:30,728
I wouldn't send you
out there empty handed.
115
00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:32,272
Here's my letter
of recommendation.
116
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,318
Uh, sir,
did you get my memo?
117
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,070
Uh, yes, I did.
118
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,614
It's an important matter,
it requires action.
119
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,241
Your participation
is appreciated.
120
00:04:44,241 --> 00:04:45,701
You didn't read it.
121
00:04:45,701 --> 00:04:47,119
You have no idea
what I'm talkin' about.
122
00:04:47,119 --> 00:04:48,954
Not a clue.
123
00:04:48,954 --> 00:04:50,831
Sir, this isn't
like my memo requesting
124
00:04:50,831 --> 00:04:52,708
a moment of silent prayer
before lunch.
125
00:04:52,708 --> 00:04:55,044
You just wanted a head start.
126
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:57,588
Okay, but this is serious, look.
127
00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,256
I called a meeting
with all the employees
128
00:04:59,256 --> 00:05:01,216
and they elected me
to solve the crosswalk problem.
129
00:05:01,216 --> 00:05:02,259
[clears throat]
130
00:05:02,259 --> 00:05:03,803
Lives are at stake
131
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,763
and we're not backin' down
until Winfred-Louder
132
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:08,766
builds a skywalk from the
parking garage to the building.
133
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:10,310
Hmm... no.
134
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,061
Well, will you
at least think about it?
135
00:05:13,061 --> 00:05:15,815
Hmm... no.
136
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,775
Look, you can't
ignore this, sir.
137
00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:20,445
Maybe the hmm
is throwing you off. No!
138
00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:24,782
Look, Mr. Wick, I hired
these people as workers
139
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:26,491
not speed bumps.
140
00:05:26,491 --> 00:05:28,786
A skywalk just isn't
cost effective, Carey.
141
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,997
Believe me, I don't like
to put a prize on human life
142
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,081
but confidentially, huh, we did.
143
00:05:33,081 --> 00:05:36,794
It's about $75 per person,
80 for management.
144
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:38,421
See you later, 80 bucks.
145
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,215
We're not gonna be
pushed around, you know?
146
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:43,217
Th-this isn't the last
you've heard about this.
147
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,260
[door closes]
148
00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:46,596
Guess I told his back.
149
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,933
Well, did we get the skywalk?
150
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,602
Hey, look,
it's "The Mod Squad."
151
00:05:54,269 --> 00:05:56,397
Had Kate been a blonde,
Larry had hair
152
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:58,608
and my forehead had been a bit
bigger, that might have worked.
153
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,360
But right now, you're duckin'
and that's just not groovy, man.
154
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,195
- Mm-hmm.
- Not groovy at all.
155
00:06:03,195 --> 00:06:05,698
[instrumental music]
156
00:06:09,534 --> 00:06:10,536
Hey, Drew, look.
157
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:11,578
They're handin' out free samples
158
00:06:11,578 --> 00:06:12,830
in the children's department.
159
00:06:14,498 --> 00:06:16,333
Actually they're runaways
from the daycare center.
160
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:18,336
We found 'em jumping
on the mattresses.
161
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,837
- They told us to get down.
- Hmm.
162
00:06:20,796 --> 00:06:22,340
Oh, man, Mimi.
163
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,591
Don't worry, little buddy
164
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:24,801
I'll get you
back to the daycare center.
165
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,802
[grunting]
Hey!
166
00:06:26,802 --> 00:06:29,305
- Probably smell of the donuts.
- There you two are.
167
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:32,307
I thought maybe you
defected to the red team.
168
00:06:32,307 --> 00:06:34,435
Wait a second, are you
actually playing with them?
169
00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:35,603
Yeah.
170
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:37,938
But I'm not enjoyin' it.
171
00:06:37,938 --> 00:06:39,189
Take this!
172
00:06:39,189 --> 00:06:41,108
[laughing]
173
00:06:41,108 --> 00:06:42,735
Look, Mimi, you can't have
these kids runnin' wild
174
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:43,777
all over the store.
175
00:06:43,777 --> 00:06:44,987
Oh, yeah?
176
00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:46,780
- Big butt says what?
- What?
177
00:06:46,780 --> 00:06:49,700
[laughing]
178
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,243
Relax. Relax.
179
00:06:51,243 --> 00:06:53,955
I put anti-theft tags
on all of 'em. See?
180
00:06:56,123 --> 00:06:59,085
Nobody's gettin' outta the store
without settin' off an alarm
181
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,128
unless boogerhead says what?
182
00:07:01,128 --> 00:07:02,170
What?
183
00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:03,881
[laughing]
184
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:06,259
What? What? What?
185
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,218
Nothin, nothing,
this is too easy.
186
00:07:08,218 --> 00:07:09,845
- 'Mimi meter.'
- Yeah?
187
00:07:09,845 --> 00:07:10,888
(kid #1)
'We've got a red alert
in beddin'.'
188
00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:12,223
Okay, hold down the fort.
189
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:13,265
Alright. Come on, you guys.
190
00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:15,184
Red team, re-took mattresses.
191
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,728
Let's go wet some beds. Go!
192
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:27,947
[laughing]
193
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,532
- Kids today have it good, huh?
- They sure do.
194
00:07:30,532 --> 00:07:32,034
Our daycare was a junkyard
195
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:33,786
and we felt lucky
to have it.
196
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,746
Yeah, what can you learn
from a daycare teacher
197
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,456
that you can't learn
from an eight-fingered hobo.
198
00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:39,000
Well, to count to ten.
199
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:43,087
I still love
old Willy anyway.
200
00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:44,589
High four me. Yeah.
201
00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:49,843
Carey. I got your bids
for the skywalk.
202
00:07:49,843 --> 00:07:51,637
I think there's one
that might actually fly.
203
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,848
Wow! Really, sir?
204
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,516
No, guess not.
205
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,142
How can you ignore these bids?
206
00:07:57,142 --> 00:07:59,853
It's the cheapest
construction companies in town.
207
00:07:59,853 --> 00:08:01,480
"We'll Work For Food" company.
208
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,940
"Two Guys With a Hammer."
209
00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,359
And "Building Code
Building Shmode Incorporated."
210
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:09,738
I told you before,
it's not in the budget.
211
00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:10,822
Alright.
212
00:08:10,822 --> 00:08:12,449
I didn't wanna do this but now
213
00:08:12,449 --> 00:08:13,493
I have no choice.
214
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,912
Attention, all employees.
215
00:08:16,912 --> 00:08:20,249
Operation Slowdown
is now in effect.
216
00:08:26,171 --> 00:08:28,090
This...
217
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:30,342
...will be...
218
00:08:30,342 --> 00:08:33,428
...harder than
219
00:08:33,428 --> 00:08:35,014
I thought.
220
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:41,270
Call it off, Carey, or I'll fire
one employee every minute.
221
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,729
You're bluffin'.
222
00:08:42,729 --> 00:08:44,857
Try... me.
223
00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:52,823
Okay, sorry, everybody.
224
00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:54,783
Back to normal speed.
225
00:08:54,783 --> 00:08:56,869
Now let's have some fun.
Double speed.
226
00:08:58,537 --> 00:09:00,039
Nice one, Norma Rae.
227
00:09:02,374 --> 00:09:04,001
[horn blaring]
228
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,460
[screaming]
229
00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:07,337
You remember traffic being
this bad on the way in?
230
00:09:07,337 --> 00:09:09,632
No, but if we crossed it once,
we can cross it again.
231
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,133
- Yeah.
- You ready?
232
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,176
Okay.
233
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,429
Hey, hey, hey!
Watch it!
234
00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:17,264
Oh, that's nice, grandma.
235
00:09:17,264 --> 00:09:20,100
Use that finger to dial
your grandkids once.
236
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:21,894
- Well, she saw you hesitate.
- Really?
237
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:24,980
Yes, it's all in the look,
you can't look uncertain.
238
00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:27,275
Look, this is you.
"Oh, oh, I'm so uncertain
239
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,733
kill me if you must."
240
00:09:28,733 --> 00:09:29,860
- Okay.
- Yeah.
241
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,279
This is the way
you should look.
242
00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:35,157
You look like
a Sears catalogue model.
243
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,700
That's right,
and have you ever seen one
244
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,160
lying dead in the street?
245
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,786
- No.
- Ah!
246
00:09:39,786 --> 00:09:42,665
That's because they have
the look... of confidence.
247
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,336
Hey, where's
that confident look?
248
00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:48,587
On that trucker's face!
249
00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:49,880
[screaming]
250
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,134
(all chanting)
Go, go, go!
251
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,219
Hey, what's goin' on?
252
00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:58,014
There's couple of morons dodging
traffic in the death alley.
253
00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:01,892
Lewis, Oswald! Oh, my God!
254
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:02,935
[tires screeching]
255
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,228
[all gasp]
Oh, no.
256
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:06,188
Oh, somebody dial 911!
257
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,647
Uh, I'm gonna go reposition 'em.
258
00:10:07,647 --> 00:10:08,732
I don't want people to think
that we're doing that
259
00:10:08,732 --> 00:10:09,775
when they got hit.
260
00:10:13,528 --> 00:10:14,613
[instrumental music]
261
00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:15,656
Oswald?
262
00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:20,578
No.
263
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:23,664
- Oswald?
- No.
264
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:27,918
Oswald?
265
00:10:30,045 --> 00:10:31,005
Okay.
266
00:10:33,298 --> 00:10:35,550
Hey, let's say we need
something for the pain again
267
00:10:35,550 --> 00:10:38,387
'cause for the first time ever,
I understand Cathy.
268
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,641
She thinks she's fat.
269
00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:44,393
[laughing]
270
00:10:45,894 --> 00:10:48,522
You think you guys
need more painkillers?
271
00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:50,232
I don't know.
Let me check.
272
00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:56,238
- Not yet.
- Oh.
273
00:10:58,573 --> 00:10:59,783
- Hey!
- Hi, Faith.
274
00:10:59,783 --> 00:11:00,951
Faith!
275
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:01,994
Save it for someone with
276
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:04,704
depth perception.
277
00:11:04,704 --> 00:11:06,623
Hey, what happened to our
cheery little optimist?
278
00:11:06,623 --> 00:11:10,086
Screw the optimist. They can
kiss my road-rashed ass.
279
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,715
Do you need some help
getting back to your room?
280
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:17,509
Thanks, we can go back
and listen to my roommate
281
00:11:17,509 --> 00:11:20,262
work on that ball of phlegm
in her throat for another hour.
282
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:25,768
So is this the, uh, room
that needs some cheerin' up?
283
00:11:28,103 --> 00:11:30,106
[indistinct chatter]
284
00:11:32,107 --> 00:11:34,235
I'm Archibald Fenn,
this is my partner Geller.
285
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:36,320
We are attorneys
at Winfred-Louder.
286
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,280
We're just here to
settle that whole thing
287
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,616
so you don't drag
our butts into court.
288
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,784
- Hey, what about me?
- Gellar...
289
00:11:42,784 --> 00:11:44,286
Hey, those are my flowers!
290
00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:46,872
So, uh... they treatin'
you boys okay?
291
00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:48,916
They shaved us.
292
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:50,084
Everywhere.
293
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:53,546
Gellar, don't.
294
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,506
'So, if you want a big fat'
295
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:58,008
settlement check,
all you gotta do
296
00:11:58,008 --> 00:11:59,759
is sign right there.
297
00:11:59,759 --> 00:12:02,012
[flatline]
298
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,514
What's wrong with him?
299
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:06,349
Oh, he stopped his heart again.
300
00:12:06,349 --> 00:12:09,937
Always the show off.
"Look at me. I'm dead."
301
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:11,063
Clear.
302
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,400
Okay, Geller, now make
yourself useful
303
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,070
and go, uh, find me a pen.
304
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,989
Hey, guys.
What are you doin' here?
305
00:12:20,989 --> 00:12:23,033
Hey, we're gonna
be on "Love Connection."
306
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,868
- Yeah.
- Don't sign anything from them.
307
00:12:24,868 --> 00:12:27,454
I should've known Winfred-Louder
would send in their weasels.
308
00:12:27,454 --> 00:12:31,917
Oh, stereotypes are so hurtful.
309
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:35,921
Attorney is bad,
attorney is evil.
310
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,757
If stereotypes were
true, Mr. Carey
311
00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:41,510
I'd probably have to figure,
you'd be quite jolly.
312
00:12:43,303 --> 00:12:46,223
I refer you to the case
of Rubber versus Glue.
313
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,310
Wait a minute.
314
00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:52,396
This isn't a settlement.
It's a waiver.
315
00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:53,855
It says here
that you waive your right
316
00:12:53,855 --> 00:12:56,066
to sue Winfred-Louder
and in exchange
317
00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:59,778
you get 10 percent off
everything you buy on Labor Day.
318
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,989
We didn't have
to give the discount.
319
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:05,492
It's not our fault,
they were hit in the street.
320
00:13:05,492 --> 00:13:06,993
Get outta here.
321
00:13:06,993 --> 00:13:09,121
And tell Mr. Wick, he's not
through with Drew Carey.
322
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:12,708
[laughing]
What's one little man gonna
do to bring a big company
323
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:14,668
like Winfred-Louder
to its knees?
324
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:16,962
Well, I was thinking about
that on the way over here
325
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:20,215
and I'm gonna do the one thing
that no one would ever expect.
326
00:13:20,215 --> 00:13:23,635
I'm goin' on a hunger strike.
327
00:13:23,635 --> 00:13:27,097
That will only bring
the farm industry to its knees.
328
00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:28,182
[screaming]
329
00:13:30,058 --> 00:13:31,309
Whoa.
330
00:13:31,309 --> 00:13:32,895
Come on, let's get
to the parking lot.
331
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,814
We'll tell 'em you fell.
332
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:40,110
Hey, Drew, I just had
the weirdest dream.
333
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,861
You were goin'
on a hunger strike.
334
00:13:41,861 --> 00:13:43,530
[laughing]
335
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:46,199
I am goin' on a hunger strike.
336
00:13:46,199 --> 00:13:49,537
Hey, Drew, I just had
the weirdest dream.
337
00:13:51,371 --> 00:13:53,915
You were goin' on
a hunger strike.
338
00:13:53,915 --> 00:13:55,417
I am goin' on
a hunger strike.
339
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:56,918
Ha.
340
00:13:56,918 --> 00:13:59,213
Hey, Drew...
341
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,715
[instrumental music]
342
00:14:07,595 --> 00:14:10,015
[screaming]
343
00:14:11,391 --> 00:14:12,351
Hey!
344
00:14:14,227 --> 00:14:17,397
Oh-oh, look at you.
345
00:14:17,397 --> 00:14:21,151
Five days without food
and you're wastin' away.
346
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:22,736
First, I'd like to thank you.
347
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:25,989
Your outfit has really helped
me with my hunger strike.
348
00:14:25,989 --> 00:14:27,991
Second, we found somebody else
to run the day care center.
349
00:14:27,991 --> 00:14:30,160
So you can go back
to your regular job.
350
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,411
What?
351
00:14:31,411 --> 00:14:33,163
- No!
- We don't want you to go!
352
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:35,207
[indistinct chatter]
353
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:38,919
Come on. Come on, come on.
Don't get all mushy on me.
354
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:41,130
Warriors don't cry.
355
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,840
I showed you guys "Platoon."
356
00:14:45,258 --> 00:14:48,803
Alright, well,
girls, remember...
357
00:14:48,803 --> 00:14:51,640
...you're never too young
for a healthy coat of mascara.
358
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:55,728
Boys, you pick it,
you flick it.
359
00:14:58,021 --> 00:15:00,232
Alright, now, go on,
get outta here.
360
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:02,151
All of you. No whining.
361
00:15:04,402 --> 00:15:05,820
Wait!
362
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:07,614
One last raid on
the vending machine
363
00:15:07,614 --> 00:15:09,574
I can use your
little hands, let's go!
364
00:15:09,574 --> 00:15:11,702
[screaming]
365
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:16,331
So...
366
00:15:16,331 --> 00:15:19,000
...this is what
a hunger strike looks like.
367
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,335
Oh, for God's sake,
you could at least
368
00:15:20,335 --> 00:15:21,879
suck in your gut
as I walk by.
369
00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:24,339
Laugh if you
want to, sir.
370
00:15:24,339 --> 00:15:27,634
But my bodily reserves
are quickly being depleted.
371
00:15:27,634 --> 00:15:30,512
Actual weight loss
is right around the corner.
372
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:37,019
Yes, but on the way to that
corner is a Taco Bell.
373
00:15:39,270 --> 00:15:42,190
Oh yeah? Feel this, buddy.
That's a rib.
374
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:44,193
I've never felt one
of those since I was 12!
375
00:15:45,735 --> 00:15:47,362
You let this hunger strike
continue much longer
376
00:15:47,362 --> 00:15:48,989
and this story is gonna
be all over the news.
377
00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:51,700
Oh, really, Carey?
378
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,286
Oh, hello, what's this?
379
00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:57,289
Oh, it's a chocolate bar.
380
00:15:59,123 --> 00:16:01,960
Oh, damn, it's all melty.
381
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,171
Melty chocolate's
always so messy.
382
00:16:05,046 --> 00:16:06,966
Mmm. Messy.
383
00:16:09,092 --> 00:16:10,260
Melty!
384
00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:14,932
Messy.
385
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,520
M-m-melty.
386
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:25,567
And this little piggy,
is messiest of all.
387
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:28,361
Oops, Carey.
388
00:16:28,361 --> 00:16:32,157
Look, I think I got a bit
of rich, thick chocolate
389
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:34,909
on the end of your nose.
390
00:16:34,909 --> 00:16:36,995
Now, if you'll realize it, sir,
but your arm is in danger
391
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:39,039
right up to your elbow.
392
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:40,540
But I'm not giving in.
393
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:42,459
Yeah. What am I worried about?
394
00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:44,294
You'll never lose enough
weight to evoke sympathy.
395
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,962
Hey, Gandhi did it.
396
00:16:45,962 --> 00:16:48,841
Yes, but what you're forgetting
is, Gandhi started out thin.
397
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,635
You can't ignore this.
398
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:53,762
All the employees are behind me.
399
00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:59,017
What the hell is going on here,
Carey? You're gaining weight?
400
00:16:59,017 --> 00:17:01,812
Hey, I'm not eatin'.
I don't know what's goin' on.
401
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,981
Hey, maybe I really
am big-boned.
402
00:17:06,983 --> 00:17:09,194
Look, Drew, we all appreciate
what you're trying to do here.
403
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,612
But I can't wait for you
to lose weight.
404
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:13,281
I'm retiring in 20 years.
405
00:17:13,281 --> 00:17:15,742
Oh, what you want me to do, call
the reporters looking like this?
406
00:17:15,742 --> 00:17:17,869
I'll be one of those stupid
human interest stories.
407
00:17:17,869 --> 00:17:21,748
"On the lighter side, this man
thinks he's on a hunger strike."
408
00:17:21,748 --> 00:17:23,416
Well, you should know that
people are starting to lose
409
00:17:23,416 --> 00:17:26,127
confidence in you, Drew.
And their talkin' walk out.
410
00:17:26,127 --> 00:17:28,129
- Yeah, that's right.
- Hey, hey, hey.
411
00:17:28,129 --> 00:17:30,048
I'm ashamed of you people.
412
00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:32,050
This man has given up
the thing he loves
413
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:34,844
most in the world for you!
414
00:17:34,844 --> 00:17:36,638
Are you sure, you're not
eating in your sleep?
415
00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,891
Look at you!
416
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,100
Okay, listen up, everybody.
417
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:43,937
You can't walk out,
people will lose jobs.
418
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:45,521
'This hunger strike
is gonna work.'
419
00:17:45,521 --> 00:17:47,649
One more week and I will be
420
00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:49,568
that emaciated,
pathetic skeleton that's gonna
421
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,820
shame Winfred-Louder into
building that skywalk.
422
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:53,029
Once it starts to come off,
the weight's
423
00:17:53,029 --> 00:17:54,447
gonna melt off me like butter.
424
00:17:54,447 --> 00:17:56,950
And believe me,
most of it is butter.
425
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:59,453
[instrumental music]
426
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,665
How's Drew?
427
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:06,250
Well, he's about as
comfortable as can be expected.
428
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:08,253
I just put a blanket over him.
429
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:10,380
Man, I can't believe,
they took your cast off
430
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,715
after only two weeks.
431
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,550
Actually, I took it off myself.
432
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:16,803
The itching was
driving me crazy
433
00:18:16,803 --> 00:18:18,972
so last night about
3 o'clock, I just took
434
00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:22,517
a butcher knife and just hacked
the whole damn thing.
435
00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:24,560
You think that was
such a good idea?
436
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:28,065
It was the first 20 minutes
of scratching.
437
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:30,317
Now, I'm not so sure
it's healing right.
438
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,069
[knock on door]
439
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,111
I'll get it.
440
00:18:33,111 --> 00:18:35,155
[screaming]
441
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:36,573
Hey, it's getting better.
442
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:39,076
[screaming]
443
00:18:44,622 --> 00:18:45,624
[screaming]
444
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:49,627
Alright, we're here.
Where's Carey?
445
00:18:49,627 --> 00:18:51,421
And he better not
be wasting my time.
446
00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:53,172
Believe me he's not.
447
00:18:53,172 --> 00:18:55,008
He hasn't eaten
a thing in over two weeks.
448
00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:56,843
He's fading away.
449
00:18:56,843 --> 00:19:00,681
Oh, yeah, so is the sun,
but I bet it gets there first.
450
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:07,478
"As you got to your final
reward, embrace the light.
451
00:19:07,478 --> 00:19:08,981
Embrace it, I say."
452
00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,984
- Drew, Drew.
- Yeah.
453
00:19:12,984 --> 00:19:14,069
Visitors.
454
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:16,738
Oh, Mr. Wick.
455
00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:20,325
Oh, my Lord.
Where's your fat?
456
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:21,784
(Mimi)
'It's a trick.'
457
00:19:21,784 --> 00:19:23,411
- Let's see who's under here?
- I'm naked.
458
00:19:23,411 --> 00:19:24,663
It's him.
459
00:19:26,581 --> 00:19:28,333
Oswald, my feet
are kinda cold.
460
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:29,877
Can you put
on my slippers please?
461
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,878
Oh, sure, buddy. Sure.
462
00:19:31,878 --> 00:19:33,755
Hold on. Just a second.
463
00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:38,801
Good God! You've got
little girl legs.
464
00:19:38,801 --> 00:19:40,386
That's right.
465
00:19:40,386 --> 00:19:41,555
Pretty soon everyone
in Cleveland
466
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:42,806
will see these little girl legs
467
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:44,850
'cause I'm going straight
to the papers.
468
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,559
You know, what's ironic?
469
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:48,937
I'm skinnier than I have ever
been in my life and...
470
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:52,148
...it's too cold
to have a pool party.
471
00:19:52,148 --> 00:19:55,694
Wait a minute, how come
your head's still so fat?
472
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:02,659
Well, everyone knows that head
fat is the hardest to lose.
473
00:20:03,618 --> 00:20:04,620
Come here.
474
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:09,791
Something fishy going on.
What do you make of it?
475
00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,292
It's gotta be a trick.
476
00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:13,128
It could be somebody
else under there.
477
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,546
Alright. I'm gonna check.
478
00:20:16,714 --> 00:20:19,050
Uh.. Oh, I'm sorry, Drew.
479
00:20:19,050 --> 00:20:20,636
I'm sorry, eyes.
480
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,262
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
481
00:20:25,223 --> 00:20:27,892
Alright, alright, I didn't
think you'd take it this far.
482
00:20:27,892 --> 00:20:29,477
I'm not a beast.
I have feelings.
483
00:20:29,477 --> 00:20:30,561
You'll get your skywalk.
484
00:20:30,561 --> 00:20:32,564
[cheering]
485
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:33,648
I have to get out of here.
486
00:20:33,648 --> 00:20:35,441
Your skinny body and big fat
487
00:20:35,441 --> 00:20:37,444
head are making me feel
all creepy.
488
00:20:38,778 --> 00:20:39,738
[door opens]
489
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:45,160
Never thought I'd say this,
but I wanna thank you, Mimi.
490
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,536
And Bob here wants to thank you.
491
00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:48,538
[laughing]
492
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:53,835
Hey, how did you get that
guy to do this anyway?
493
00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:56,254
I'm not gonna risk losing
our best customer.
494
00:20:56,254 --> 00:20:58,674
Drew's put six of us
through community college.
495
00:21:03,261 --> 00:21:05,681
[instrumental music]
496
00:21:07,932 --> 00:21:10,227
♪ Bum bum bum ♪
497
00:21:10,297 --> 00:21:12,930
♪ Bum bum bum ♪
498
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,210
♪ I said I'm workin' in a coal
mine goin' down down down ♪
499
00:21:16,380 --> 00:21:19,410
♪ Workin' in a coal mine
whoop about to slip down ♪
500
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,310
♪ Workin' in a coal mine
goin' down down down ♪
501
00:21:22,380 --> 00:21:25,720
♪ Workin' in a coal mine
whoop about to slip down ♪
502
00:21:25,790 --> 00:21:28,850
♪ Workin' in a coal mine
goin' down down down ♪
503
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,890
♪ Workin' in a coal mine
whoop about to slip down ♪
33754
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