Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:03,545
Drew, you sure this is
the sex channel?
2
00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:04,545
Been that long, huh, buddy?
3
00:00:04,545 --> 00:00:06,672
[laughing]
4
00:00:06,672 --> 00:00:07,966
No, it's just that
I can't make it out
5
00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:09,467
through all those
squiggly lines.
6
00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:11,010
Why don't you just pay
the ten bucks a month
7
00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:12,512
so we can actually see it?
8
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,014
I can't.
9
00:00:15,014 --> 00:00:16,599
I already get
the Cartoon Network
10
00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:17,850
and I heard if you get that
and the sex channel
11
00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:18,852
they put you in a special file.
12
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,481
What are they doing?
13
00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:25,900
You see, Oswald,
when two people fall in love--
14
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,527
I know.
15
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,070
But how old are these
porn stars?
16
00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:30,697
I could swear,
he's giving her oxygen.
17
00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:35,660
Wait, I think
they're actually talking.
18
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:38,246
(man on TV)
'And as the doctor cuts
into the patient's abdomen'
19
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:39,456
'the pancreas becomes..'
20
00:00:41,707 --> 00:00:43,251
This isn't the sex channel.
21
00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:44,419
It's a surgery channel.
22
00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:47,254
Yeah, but if you think about it
23
00:00:47,254 --> 00:00:48,381
they're still naked.
24
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:53,552
[knocking on door]
25
00:00:53,552 --> 00:00:55,346
Well, if history
has taught us anything
26
00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:56,723
it's my mom.
27
00:00:59,475 --> 00:01:00,852
You guys, you gotta help me.
28
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,103
I can't get rid of my date.
29
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,187
He wanted to go back
to my place.
30
00:01:03,187 --> 00:01:04,355
So, I told him I lived here.
31
00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:05,940
I don't want some weirdo
in my house.
32
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:08,692
We're trying to watch
scrambled surgery here.
33
00:01:08,692 --> 00:01:10,862
Please, please,
I just want you to act
34
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:13,615
like my crazy family so
he'll leave me alone. Please.
35
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,241
Alright. I'm taping this anyway.
36
00:01:16,617 --> 00:01:18,453
Okay, here he comes.
Scatter.
37
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:19,496
- Okay.
- Go.
38
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,542
Kate, my pet.
39
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:26,877
'I'm sorry I took so long.'
40
00:01:26,877 --> 00:01:28,129
Did you miss me?
41
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,506
No.
42
00:01:30,506 --> 00:01:32,383
What do you say, we start off
with a little drink?
43
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,636
Okay, okay, why not?
44
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:37,305
Since we're here all alone.
45
00:01:37,305 --> 00:01:41,184
I knew you were fooling
around with me, woman.
46
00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:46,605
[gasps]
Oh, no, Clarke.
47
00:01:46,605 --> 00:01:48,732
My obsessively jealous
boyfriend.
48
00:01:48,732 --> 00:01:53,321
That's right,
now I'm mighty angry.
49
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,739
Oh, gee, I-I didn't know you
were living here with someone--
50
00:01:55,739 --> 00:01:57,617
- 'Hmm, yeah.'
- Maybe I should just leave.
51
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,369
Yeah, maybe you oughta
52
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:01,162
'cause things are gonna
get ugly.
53
00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:06,000
Wait a minute, I can't leave you
with this guy. He's dangerous.
54
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,003
No, he-he's not dangerous.
He's just stupid.
55
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,339
You can go.
I'm fine. Yeah.
56
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:12,382
Stupid.
57
00:02:14,508 --> 00:02:15,926
Stupid.
58
00:02:15,926 --> 00:02:18,637
Nobody calls me stupid.
59
00:02:18,637 --> 00:02:20,265
[glass shattering]
60
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,350
Hey, what the hell's going
on here?
61
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:31,234
Uncle Billy,
thank God you're here.
62
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,360
Clarke, what you doing here?
63
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,238
I thought I made it clear
to you this is my woman.
64
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,532
Oh, my God. I gotta get you
out of this house.
65
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:38,950
Uh, no, you don't want her.
66
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,785
She's gonna have a baby.
67
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:43,246
- You're pregnant?
- Yeah, it's my baby.
68
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,082
And I'm her brother.
69
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,169
Wait, if you are her brother
70
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:51,921
why do you have an accent?
71
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:55,300
Uh, 'cause I was born
on vacation.
72
00:02:58,469 --> 00:02:59,929
No, you weren't
73
00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:02,432
and I oughta know,
I'm your father.
74
00:03:04,266 --> 00:03:05,476
No, no. I'm your father.
75
00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:07,645
No, you're not.
You're my father.
76
00:03:09,605 --> 00:03:10,732
[indistinct chattering]
77
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:13,818
This is crazy, Kate.
78
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,277
I gotta get you
out of here.
79
00:03:15,277 --> 00:03:17,321
Please.
80
00:03:17,321 --> 00:03:19,406
There's this shelter
I can take you to.
81
00:03:19,406 --> 00:03:20,575
Yeah, whatever.
82
00:03:26,914 --> 00:03:27,957
So, ends another evening
83
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:30,543
of trailer park dinner theater.
84
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,086
Join us tomorrow
and we'll present
85
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:34,547
Tennessee Williams,
a truck stop named Desire.
86
00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:39,927
[theme music]
87
00:03:39,927 --> 00:03:43,139
♪ Up every mornin'
just to keep our job ♪
88
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:47,559
♪ I gotta find my way
through the husslin' mob ♪
89
00:03:47,559 --> 00:03:51,022
♪ Sounds of the city
poundin' in my brain ♪
90
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:54,775
♪ While another day
goes down the drain ♪
91
00:03:54,775 --> 00:03:58,863
♪ But it's a 5 o'clock world
when the whistle blows ♪
92
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:02,074
♪ No one owns a piece
of my time ♪
93
00:04:02,074 --> 00:04:06,621
♪ And there's a 5 o'clock me
inside my clothes ♪
94
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:10,708
♪ Thinkin' that the world
looks fine yeah ♪
95
00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:14,003
♪ Holiday ♪
96
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:16,589
♪ Yeah ♪
97
00:04:21,510 --> 00:04:22,720
(Drew)
'It's always hard to mourn'
98
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,347
'the passing
of a fellow employee.'
99
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,765
Even though she only worked
here a week
100
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,724
before she was hit
by that speeding car.
101
00:04:27,724 --> 00:04:29,393
Sally Krasinski will always
be thought of
102
00:04:29,393 --> 00:04:31,979
as a member
of the Winfred-Louder family.
103
00:04:31,979 --> 00:04:33,398
Is she the one
with the red hair?
104
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,903
Brown. Anyway, it was a tragedy.
105
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:39,904
Who knows
why these things happen?
106
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,572
I'll tell you why.
107
00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:44,200
'Cause there's no light at that
damn intersection out front.
108
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,535
She's the fourth one this year.
109
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,411
It's like a freakin' death trap.
110
00:04:47,411 --> 00:04:48,746
We need a light.
111
00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:49,997
(together)
Light, light, light--
112
00:04:49,997 --> 00:04:52,207
Hey, hey, hey.
113
00:04:52,207 --> 00:04:53,459
Can you show a little respect
114
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,003
for you know,
"What's your face here?"
115
00:04:57,087 --> 00:04:59,298
Does any one have anything
they'd like to say?
116
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:01,675
Oh, maybe there's something
in her file.
117
00:05:01,675 --> 00:05:03,094
Let's see her hobbies were...
118
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,179
Oh, this is ironic,
speed walking.
119
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,057
Uh, Mr. Wick.
120
00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:10,601
- Anything you'd like to say?
- No, not really.
121
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,311
Might boost morale, sir.
122
00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:14,063
Well, of course.
123
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,439
Well, what can we say
about Sally?
124
00:05:15,439 --> 00:05:17,733
Uh, she had a good, uh, heart
125
00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:19,818
and a lovely spirit.
126
00:05:19,818 --> 00:05:23,071
Uh, yes, Sally Pullman
will be sadly missed.
127
00:05:23,071 --> 00:05:25,199
Sir, it was, uh, Sally Krasinski
that passed away.
128
00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:26,576
That snitty, little bitch.
129
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:30,997
Well, I suppose
she wasn't that snitty.
130
00:05:32,289 --> 00:05:33,750
Oh, carry on.
131
00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:37,003
Uh, in closing,
if we learned anything
132
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,505
from the passing of Sally,
may she rest in peace
133
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,173
is that if you drop your purse
in the middle of the street
134
00:05:41,173 --> 00:05:42,508
let it go.
135
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,720
Enjoy the donuts.
Amen.
136
00:05:46,803 --> 00:05:48,055
Sorry, I'm late.
137
00:05:48,055 --> 00:05:49,473
Good morning, Mr. Wick.
138
00:05:49,473 --> 00:05:51,184
Did I miss the memorial?
139
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,810
Yeah, just...
140
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:54,604
Oh, my God, it's Malibu Kate.
141
00:05:58,065 --> 00:05:59,609
Well, I thought
about changing my name
142
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,819
but it just seemed
so superficial.
143
00:06:03,862 --> 00:06:05,405
Speaking as a blonde, let me
tell you you're gonna have
144
00:06:05,405 --> 00:06:07,574
to get used to
being treated as a sex object.
145
00:06:07,574 --> 00:06:08,575
I mean, I had to gain weight
146
00:06:08,575 --> 00:06:09,618
get a middle management job
147
00:06:09,618 --> 00:06:10,661
and get these goofy glasses
148
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:11,787
just to be taken seriously.
149
00:06:11,787 --> 00:06:13,247
Yeah.
150
00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:15,290
It's gonna be so great
to start fresh.
151
00:06:15,290 --> 00:06:16,875
I-I think my problem
was as a brunette
152
00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:19,045
I looked too dark and angry.
153
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:22,006
Now, I'm sunny, happy,
easy-going.
154
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:23,590
You know, Kate, I don't think
your hair color has any--
155
00:06:23,590 --> 00:06:25,551
Shut up!
Can I have one dream?
156
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:30,473
A bit much.
Don't you think?
157
00:06:36,410 --> 00:06:38,310
Said the desert
to the grain of sand.
158
00:06:41,910 --> 00:06:43,080
I want Sally
159
00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:46,180
"I have no peripheral vision"
Krasinski’s job.
160
00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,250
First of all, let me thank you
161
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,120
for not bringing that up
during the ceremony.
162
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:50,950
for not bringing that up
during the ceremony.
And secondly, and it pains me
to say this..
163
00:06:50,950 --> 00:06:52,920
And secondly, and it pains me
to say this..
164
00:06:52,990 --> 00:06:56,490
♪ No no no no
no no no no no-- ♪
165
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:57,890
Why not?
166
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,190
♪ Because we’re transferring
someone in ♪
167
00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:03,300
♪ You bite you lose
oh well la la la ♪
168
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:04,741
Why did they bring in
somebody else?
169
00:07:04,811 --> 00:07:07,397
I can sell electronics
just as good as anybody.
170
00:07:07,397 --> 00:07:09,066
That's where you're wrong,
my multi-colored friend.
171
00:07:12,152 --> 00:07:13,486
We are bringing in the best
of the best
172
00:07:13,486 --> 00:07:14,821
Dexter K. Roberts.
173
00:07:14,821 --> 00:07:16,280
The highest grossing salesman
174
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,575
in the history
of the Winfred-Louder chain.
175
00:07:18,575 --> 00:07:20,118
We had to trade
five shoe salesmen
176
00:07:20,118 --> 00:07:22,246
and Easy Edner from Accounting
but we got him.
177
00:07:23,496 --> 00:07:24,914
I know who Dexter is.
178
00:07:24,914 --> 00:07:26,499
A friend of mine went
to one of his parties.
179
00:07:26,499 --> 00:07:28,167
She didn't come home
for three days.
180
00:07:28,167 --> 00:07:29,711
Then it was just a shower,
check your mail
181
00:07:29,711 --> 00:07:32,213
and go right back.
182
00:07:32,213 --> 00:07:33,423
I can't wait to meet this guy.
183
00:07:33,423 --> 00:07:34,424
I mean, he gets connections.
184
00:07:34,424 --> 00:07:35,675
He-he goes everywhere.
185
00:07:35,675 --> 00:07:37,176
And I know we're gonna
hit it of.
186
00:07:37,176 --> 00:07:39,637
I mean, he's a party guy,
I'm a party guy.
187
00:07:39,637 --> 00:07:41,640
He likes sports,
I like sports.
188
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:43,600
He goes to all the cool places.
189
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:44,810
I'd like to know where they are.
190
00:07:46,853 --> 00:07:48,397
For once, I don't
totally disagree
191
00:07:48,397 --> 00:07:51,483
with your stupid
asinine opinions.
192
00:07:51,483 --> 00:07:52,650
It will be good
to have somebody breathe
193
00:07:52,650 --> 00:07:54,778
a little life into this place.
194
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,905
I haven't brought out
my party dress in a while.
195
00:07:58,948 --> 00:08:00,367
Is that the one without
the horn sewn into it?
196
00:08:02,369 --> 00:08:03,579
Yes.
197
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,622
[laughing]
198
00:08:06,622 --> 00:08:08,583
You know, Dex, I don't
usually laugh at bald jokes
199
00:08:08,583 --> 00:08:11,169
about myself,
but that was a good one.
200
00:08:11,169 --> 00:08:13,254
So, when do you want that
karaoke system delivered?
201
00:08:13,254 --> 00:08:16,215
Gee, I don't think
I can, uh, afford it right now.
202
00:08:16,215 --> 00:08:19,970
Hey, it's less than
95 cents a day.
203
00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:21,637
What else can give you
that much pleasure
204
00:08:21,637 --> 00:08:23,723
for less than 95 cents a day?
205
00:08:23,723 --> 00:08:26,935
Well, uh, I guess my kids don't
need that speech therapy.
206
00:08:28,895 --> 00:08:29,938
I'll go get a check.
207
00:08:32,232 --> 00:08:33,816
Wow, you are good.
208
00:08:33,816 --> 00:08:35,652
Everything I heard about you
is true. Welcome aboard.
209
00:08:35,652 --> 00:08:37,236
Nice voice.
You sing?
210
00:08:37,236 --> 00:08:38,238
Hey, don't start that stuff
with me.
211
00:08:38,238 --> 00:08:39,781
[laughing]
212
00:08:39,781 --> 00:08:41,699
Listen, I've heard a lot
about you.
213
00:08:41,699 --> 00:08:43,076
Really, you've heard about me.
214
00:08:43,076 --> 00:08:44,535
Are you kidding,
everybody's taking about
215
00:08:44,535 --> 00:08:45,829
the work you have done
at this store.
216
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:47,413
You're the man.
You're the guy to know.
217
00:08:47,413 --> 00:08:49,458
You're the guy
that gets things done.
218
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:50,458
I'm sorry,
I can't quite hear you.
219
00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:52,419
Can you yell that?
220
00:08:52,419 --> 00:08:54,087
I'm serious.
221
00:08:54,087 --> 00:08:56,131
I was told you're the guy
to connect with.
222
00:08:56,131 --> 00:08:58,759
And if I could ever
do anything for you...
223
00:08:58,759 --> 00:09:01,010
...just say the word, Mr. Wick.
224
00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:03,930
Oh, uh, I'm, I'm Drew Carey.
225
00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:05,182
[laughing]
226
00:09:07,768 --> 00:09:08,977
Well, hey, it's good
to meet you anyway
227
00:09:08,977 --> 00:09:10,812
and all that stuff still goes.
228
00:09:10,812 --> 00:09:12,022
See you when I see you.
229
00:09:21,531 --> 00:09:23,991
Oh, and who are you?
My last little chip?
230
00:09:23,991 --> 00:09:25,410
Did you get separated
from the herd?
231
00:09:26,619 --> 00:09:27,829
Have you seen my family?
232
00:09:27,829 --> 00:09:28,956
Yeah, I think
they went that way.
233
00:09:31,082 --> 00:09:33,751
Well, that Dex,
he made me laugh so hard
234
00:09:33,751 --> 00:09:36,129
I completely forgot
who I was going to fire.
235
00:09:36,129 --> 00:09:38,923
I know, I'll let go
of the next employee
236
00:09:38,923 --> 00:09:40,800
to end a sentence
with a preposition.
237
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,677
Now, where did Mimi go to?
238
00:09:42,677 --> 00:09:44,846
Being quiet. Oh boy,
that could have been ugly.
239
00:09:46,473 --> 00:09:47,515
Where did you guys go?
240
00:09:47,515 --> 00:09:49,725
We went to Manny's Grill
with Dex.
241
00:09:49,725 --> 00:09:51,686
I was in the coffee room,
I was only gone for two minutes.
242
00:09:51,686 --> 00:09:54,147
- How are we supposed to know?
- I left a sign on my desk.
243
00:09:54,147 --> 00:09:55,691
"I'm in the coffee room,
I'll be back in two minutes."
244
00:09:57,025 --> 00:09:58,318
I'm sorry, Carey.
245
00:09:58,318 --> 00:10:00,111
You were abandoned
by your co-workers.
246
00:10:00,111 --> 00:10:02,071
Now you're feeling left out.
247
00:10:02,071 --> 00:10:05,158
Oh dear, I feel inappropriate
laughs are comin' on.
248
00:10:08,119 --> 00:10:10,080
Great. Everybody got to go
to lunch except me.
249
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,748
Oh, it wasn't everyone.
250
00:10:11,748 --> 00:10:13,207
Hey, Drew.
Hey, Kate.
251
00:10:13,207 --> 00:10:15,043
Wasn't that a great lunch?
Good times, huh?
252
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,588
Oswald, you went too?
253
00:10:18,588 --> 00:10:21,466
You didn't miss anything
at lunch, Drew.
254
00:10:21,466 --> 00:10:23,968
- Well, the magic tricks.
- Well...
255
00:10:23,968 --> 00:10:25,178
- He did magic?
- Yeah.
256
00:10:25,178 --> 00:10:26,637
He removed the table cloth
257
00:10:26,637 --> 00:10:27,764
without disturbing the food.
258
00:10:27,764 --> 00:10:29,098
I've seen that.
259
00:10:29,098 --> 00:10:31,434
Well, yeah, and then,
he put it back.
260
00:10:31,434 --> 00:10:32,728
(Oswald)
'Yeah.'
261
00:10:33,853 --> 00:10:35,313
Drew, we missed you at lunch.
262
00:10:35,313 --> 00:10:37,231
Oh, that's okay, I did
a little magic trick of my own.
263
00:10:37,231 --> 00:10:38,483
I went to the coffee room
for two minutes
264
00:10:38,483 --> 00:10:40,276
and the whole office
disappeared.
265
00:10:40,276 --> 00:10:41,903
I'm sorry, man.
266
00:10:41,903 --> 00:10:43,905
Oh, it looks like
you had a nice lunch here.
267
00:10:43,905 --> 00:10:45,031
You still got a little something
right by your mouth.
268
00:10:45,031 --> 00:10:46,908
- Oh!
- Let me get it for you.
269
00:10:46,908 --> 00:10:49,995
Oh, my God.
What do we have here?
270
00:10:49,995 --> 00:10:51,746
'Oh, oh, oh.'
271
00:10:51,746 --> 00:10:54,124
And I think, it may be comin'
out of the other end too.
272
00:10:54,124 --> 00:10:56,126
[all shouting]
273
00:10:56,126 --> 00:10:58,503
[all laughing]
274
00:10:58,503 --> 00:10:59,796
What did Drew eat for lunch?
275
00:11:02,924 --> 00:11:03,966
Thanks, buddy.
276
00:11:03,966 --> 00:11:05,010
[Oswald laughing]
277
00:11:07,178 --> 00:11:09,055
Well, that was either,
uh, incredibly fun
278
00:11:09,055 --> 00:11:10,599
or really humiliating.
279
00:11:10,599 --> 00:11:12,017
That depends on
if you're us or you.
280
00:11:13,726 --> 00:11:14,852
See you guys
at the party tonight.
281
00:11:14,852 --> 00:11:16,729
- Okay.
- Yeah, right.
282
00:11:16,729 --> 00:11:18,231
- There's a party?
- Dexter's party.
283
00:11:18,231 --> 00:11:19,691
Everybody got an invitation
this morning.
284
00:11:19,691 --> 00:11:21,401
Yeah, even me and Lewis
were invited.
285
00:11:21,401 --> 00:11:23,736
We're gonna stock the party
with buzz beer.
286
00:11:23,736 --> 00:11:25,572
You did get an invitation,
didn't you?
287
00:11:25,572 --> 00:11:27,323
Is it those little envelopes
with those writing on it
288
00:11:27,323 --> 00:11:29,618
with directions? Yeah, yeah,
it's around here somewhere.
289
00:11:29,618 --> 00:11:30,827
Okay, see you at the big party.
290
00:11:30,827 --> 00:11:32,328
- Bye.
- Okay. Bye.
291
00:11:32,328 --> 00:11:33,663
Uh...
292
00:11:33,663 --> 00:11:35,874
It's gotta
be around here somewhere.
293
00:11:35,874 --> 00:11:37,334
If you're looking
for your dignity
294
00:11:37,334 --> 00:11:39,002
try checkin' your confetti hole.
295
00:11:45,299 --> 00:11:47,427
Of course, you.
296
00:11:47,427 --> 00:11:49,763
What did you do with my
invitation to Dexter's party?
297
00:11:49,763 --> 00:11:52,057
What invitation?
What party?
298
00:11:52,057 --> 00:11:53,517
Uh, nothing.
299
00:12:02,359 --> 00:12:03,276
- Did you find yours?
- Yeah.
300
00:12:03,276 --> 00:12:05,820
- Really?
- No.
301
00:12:05,820 --> 00:12:07,655
- You?
- No.
302
00:12:07,655 --> 00:12:11,368
Well, it's not like I really
wanted to go anyway.
303
00:12:11,368 --> 00:12:13,327
Hey, maybe it slipped
under my computer.
304
00:12:13,327 --> 00:12:14,496
[grunts]
305
00:12:16,289 --> 00:12:17,623
Nope.
306
00:12:17,623 --> 00:12:19,625
Yeah, it's like everybody
got invited but us.
307
00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:20,877
Why us?
308
00:12:30,094 --> 00:12:31,847
[instrumental music]
309
00:12:33,806 --> 00:12:35,183
[thud]
310
00:12:40,897 --> 00:12:43,191
Oh, man. There are beer goggles
big enough.
311
00:12:46,235 --> 00:12:48,154
Hey, Tim. Give me a beer
and a double cheese burger.
312
00:12:48,154 --> 00:12:49,656
- Hold the onions.
- You got it.
313
00:12:49,656 --> 00:12:51,407
One Dex burger.
314
00:12:51,407 --> 00:12:52,992
He's got his own sandwich?
315
00:12:52,992 --> 00:12:54,369
I've been comin' here
since junior high.
316
00:12:54,369 --> 00:12:55,912
How come you never named
anything after me?
317
00:12:55,912 --> 00:12:57,873
They did. Give him
the key to the Drew.
318
00:13:01,709 --> 00:13:03,419
Oh, sorry, Drew,
those table are reserved
319
00:13:03,419 --> 00:13:04,587
for parties of three or more.
320
00:13:04,587 --> 00:13:06,631
You mind sitting at the bar?
321
00:13:06,631 --> 00:13:09,717
Oh, yeah, if I can fight
my way through the crowd.
322
00:13:09,717 --> 00:13:11,344
Excuse me, pardon me,
coming through.
323
00:13:11,344 --> 00:13:13,138
Whoop, watch your hands.
Pardon me, excuse me, hi.
324
00:13:16,057 --> 00:13:19,602
So, I guess you didn't find
your invitation, huh, pig?
325
00:13:19,602 --> 00:13:21,938
Oh, let's see,
it's, uh, Friday night, 9:30.
326
00:13:21,938 --> 00:13:23,899
I'm stuck here talking to you.
Take a wild guess.
327
00:13:25,984 --> 00:13:27,693
You mad Dexter
didn't invite you?
328
00:13:27,693 --> 00:13:30,697
No, I got better things to do
with my time.
329
00:13:31,822 --> 00:13:32,824
[hissing]
330
00:13:38,454 --> 00:13:39,372
You paying for the lady?
331
00:13:41,708 --> 00:13:42,751
Oh, her.
332
00:13:44,544 --> 00:13:45,754
Yeah, sure.
Why not?
333
00:13:47,088 --> 00:13:48,631
Thanks for coughin' up
the buck.
334
00:13:48,631 --> 00:13:49,799
I think I'm in love.
335
00:13:52,594 --> 00:13:54,679
Here, here's five.
336
00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:56,139
Never say that to me again.
337
00:13:59,517 --> 00:14:01,978
So, uh, I guess
it's like this a lot
338
00:14:01,978 --> 00:14:03,896
for people like us, huh?
339
00:14:03,896 --> 00:14:05,564
People like us?
340
00:14:05,564 --> 00:14:06,983
Yeah, you know.
341
00:14:06,983 --> 00:14:09,485
Not get invited to the parties
and stuff.
342
00:14:09,485 --> 00:14:11,112
I don't know what
you're talking about.
343
00:14:11,112 --> 00:14:13,030
I'm very popular.
344
00:14:13,030 --> 00:14:14,991
Dex just didn't invite me
because he was jealous.
345
00:14:14,991 --> 00:14:17,076
He was afraid that I would
be the center of attention.
346
00:14:17,076 --> 00:14:19,204
Well, then why didn't
he invite me?
347
00:14:19,204 --> 00:14:20,789
Well, look at you.
348
00:14:25,502 --> 00:14:27,337
So, you-you've never felt
like an outsider, ever?
349
00:14:28,629 --> 00:14:30,381
If I did, I wouldn't tell you.
350
00:14:30,381 --> 00:14:31,882
Well, if you don't tell me,
I'll tell you
351
00:14:31,882 --> 00:14:34,385
an uncomfortable story
about my teen years.
352
00:14:34,385 --> 00:14:35,387
You're bluffing.
353
00:14:36,721 --> 00:14:38,056
I was under my covers
354
00:14:38,056 --> 00:14:40,391
and I thought my parents
had left for the night...
355
00:14:40,391 --> 00:14:42,936
Alright, alright.
356
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:49,817
There was a time
when I wasn't so popular.
357
00:14:49,817 --> 00:14:51,778
But that was before
I started wearing make-up.
358
00:14:53,988 --> 00:14:55,239
After that I bet you got invited
359
00:14:55,239 --> 00:14:56,490
to a lot
of children's parties, huh?
360
00:14:56,490 --> 00:14:57,742
[laughing]
361
00:14:59,869 --> 00:15:02,330
You know, I don't see
anyone else here.
362
00:15:04,457 --> 00:15:05,792
Uh, sorry.
363
00:15:08,336 --> 00:15:09,420
This sucks.
364
00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:11,380
You know, this really sucks.
365
00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:12,840
Yeah, it's bad enough
when kids do it.
366
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,510
When adults do it,
it really stinks.
367
00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:18,888
Well, you know what my grandma
always says?
368
00:15:18,888 --> 00:15:21,808
When people hurt you,
just turn the other cheek
369
00:15:21,808 --> 00:15:23,476
and when they think
you're not looking...
370
00:15:23,476 --> 00:15:24,894
...bam, you coldcock 'em.
371
00:15:29,190 --> 00:15:30,817
That's a family tree
you don't wanna shake.
372
00:15:33,778 --> 00:15:35,613
I'm sure there must be some way
373
00:15:35,613 --> 00:15:37,073
to get back at these people.
374
00:15:38,616 --> 00:15:41,911
What's the best way
to ruin a party?
375
00:15:41,911 --> 00:15:44,080
Oh, when my-my mum and dad
had a big party once
376
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,498
I was under my covers again
377
00:15:45,498 --> 00:15:46,791
and the pastor and his wife
walked in--
378
00:15:46,791 --> 00:15:48,668
Knock it off.
379
00:15:48,668 --> 00:15:50,420
What are we gonna do?
380
00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:52,422
I know, I know, I know,
I got it.
381
00:15:52,422 --> 00:15:53,757
We show up.
382
00:15:54,465 --> 00:15:56,176
Brilliant.
383
00:15:56,176 --> 00:15:58,511
Alright.
First I gotta hit the Drew.
384
00:15:58,511 --> 00:16:01,764
Wait. Save it for the party.
385
00:16:01,764 --> 00:16:02,974
Ooh, good one.
386
00:16:11,106 --> 00:16:13,067
This has gotta be at least
the fifth biggest margarita
387
00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:14,486
I've ever drank in my life.
388
00:16:18,073 --> 00:16:19,365
The fifth biggest?
389
00:16:19,365 --> 00:16:22,660
Well, frat party,
frat party, frat party
390
00:16:22,660 --> 00:16:26,873
and the super mucho grande
margarita at La Cucarachas
391
00:16:26,873 --> 00:16:30,126
which actually has
its own undertow.
392
00:16:30,126 --> 00:16:32,462
Hey, everybody. It's time
to mix the margaritas.
393
00:16:35,632 --> 00:16:36,757
Great party, Dex.
394
00:16:36,757 --> 00:16:38,259
I love the daiquiri bathtub.
395
00:16:38,259 --> 00:16:40,595
Hey did you try
the Corona toilet?
396
00:16:40,595 --> 00:16:42,013
Oh, I gotta get some.
397
00:16:42,013 --> 00:16:43,807
- Hey.
- Ha ha ha.
398
00:16:47,101 --> 00:16:48,436
Hey, you seen Drew?
399
00:16:48,436 --> 00:16:49,770
No, he hasn't gotten here yet.
400
00:16:49,770 --> 00:16:51,689
What happened to your face?
401
00:16:51,689 --> 00:16:53,775
Global Parcel just changed
their slogan to
402
00:16:53,775 --> 00:16:55,776
"If you're more than 20 minutes
late with your package
403
00:16:55,776 --> 00:16:56,945
we'll fight ya."
404
00:16:58,696 --> 00:17:00,782
Men are so shallow.
405
00:17:00,782 --> 00:17:01,991
Why don't you come over
to my place later
406
00:17:01,991 --> 00:17:03,326
and we'll talk about it?
407
00:17:04,911 --> 00:17:05,870
(Oswald)
'What's the matter?'
408
00:17:05,870 --> 00:17:07,955
Isn't it obvious?
409
00:17:07,955 --> 00:17:09,540
I've been drinking margaritas
410
00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:11,668
from a wading pool,
nothing is obvious.
411
00:17:13,419 --> 00:17:16,172
You guys haven't noticed
that since I've become a blonde
412
00:17:16,172 --> 00:17:19,008
every guy here is majorly
hitting on me?
413
00:17:19,008 --> 00:17:21,719
Hey, anybody know
where the ice is?
414
00:17:21,719 --> 00:17:23,263
Just lay off, buddy.
415
00:17:23,263 --> 00:17:26,307
I'm not easy
just 'cause I'm blonde.
416
00:17:26,307 --> 00:17:29,560
Uh, right over there,
where that brunette is standing.
417
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,020
Oh, she's sexy.
418
00:17:33,731 --> 00:17:34,899
So, Kate, uh--
419
00:17:34,899 --> 00:17:37,735
Alright, nobody's hitting
on me.
420
00:17:37,735 --> 00:17:39,570
I bleached my hair
till my skin burned
421
00:17:39,570 --> 00:17:40,988
and what do I get?
422
00:17:40,988 --> 00:17:43,324
"Excuse me, I think
a clump of your hair
423
00:17:43,324 --> 00:17:46,077
just fell in my drink."
424
00:17:46,077 --> 00:17:48,871
Well, I think we've all learnt
a little lesson here, Kate.
425
00:17:48,871 --> 00:17:51,332
I know, be happy
with what I've got
426
00:17:51,332 --> 00:17:52,959
and work on the inside
427
00:17:52,959 --> 00:17:55,127
rather than what's
on the outside.
428
00:17:55,127 --> 00:17:57,171
Actually, I was gonna suggest
you try a baby voice
429
00:17:57,171 --> 00:17:58,298
but that's good too.
430
00:18:00,925 --> 00:18:03,469
Hey, in-crowd.
Look who's here.
431
00:18:03,469 --> 00:18:05,430
The only two people
who didn't get invited.
432
00:18:08,557 --> 00:18:11,561
Oh, suddenly things
are a little awkward, huh?
433
00:18:11,561 --> 00:18:13,479
What are you doing, Drew?
434
00:18:13,479 --> 00:18:15,272
Making everybody uncomfortable.
435
00:18:15,272 --> 00:18:17,483
Hey, everybody.
Let's Wang Chung tonight.
436
00:18:17,483 --> 00:18:19,068
I know how to kick-start
this party.
437
00:18:19,068 --> 00:18:21,487
Who wants to see me turn
my boxers into a thong?
438
00:18:21,487 --> 00:18:23,322
- Eww!
- No!
439
00:18:23,322 --> 00:18:25,950
Hey, Drew, look,
it's a margarita pool.
440
00:18:25,950 --> 00:18:27,660
I think it needs some mixin'.
441
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:29,620
I do believe you're right.
442
00:18:29,620 --> 00:18:30,955
(all)
Oh!
443
00:18:32,957 --> 00:18:35,042
Drew, what the hell's going on?
444
00:18:35,042 --> 00:18:36,669
Oh, what's the matter, Dex?
445
00:18:36,669 --> 00:18:38,879
You don't like me
crashing your party?
446
00:18:38,879 --> 00:18:40,465
Crashing it?
What are you talking about?
447
00:18:40,465 --> 00:18:42,007
You were invited.
448
00:18:42,007 --> 00:18:43,592
Oh, yeah. Then how come
I didn't get an invitation?
449
00:18:43,592 --> 00:18:45,470
- You got one.
- No, I didn't.
450
00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:46,721
Check your breast pocket.
451
00:18:48,806 --> 00:18:50,224
Well, how do you expect me
to find it?
452
00:18:50,224 --> 00:18:51,934
I put one in every pocket.
453
00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:53,061
'I figured
you had to check one.'
454
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:58,941
It was sleight of hand when
I was doing the scarf trick.
455
00:18:58,941 --> 00:18:59,942
What did you think,
I was just trying to make you
456
00:18:59,942 --> 00:19:01,527
look like a jerk?
457
00:19:01,527 --> 00:19:03,904
Well, yeah.
458
00:19:03,904 --> 00:19:05,823
And, uh, now, I got
a little trick of my own.
459
00:19:05,823 --> 00:19:07,533
It's called, Pull my head
out of my butt.
460
00:19:07,533 --> 00:19:09,577
It goes something like this.
461
00:19:09,577 --> 00:19:10,995
Ta-da. Thank you.
462
00:19:12,288 --> 00:19:13,831
So, wh-where did you put mine?
463
00:19:15,875 --> 00:19:18,294
Actually, you weren't invited.
464
00:19:21,213 --> 00:19:23,383
Why not,
you big sack of stupid?
465
00:19:26,343 --> 00:19:28,513
Well, you're mean.
466
00:19:30,098 --> 00:19:32,391
Oh, yeah.
I'll show you mean.
467
00:19:32,391 --> 00:19:33,934
Drew, let's get to work.
468
00:19:33,934 --> 00:19:35,602
I got an invitation,
and I think
469
00:19:35,602 --> 00:19:37,814
it's in these walls somewhere.
470
00:19:37,814 --> 00:19:39,732
Hey, hey, Mimi, Mimi.
471
00:19:39,732 --> 00:19:41,525
You know, I-I think
you should leave.
472
00:19:41,525 --> 00:19:43,861
Or what, you're gonna
call the cops?
473
00:19:43,861 --> 00:19:45,697
I already did.
They should be here any second.
474
00:19:46,572 --> 00:19:48,824
Alright, we're goin'.
475
00:19:48,824 --> 00:19:50,368
Come on, Drew.
476
00:19:50,368 --> 00:19:51,578
- Uh...
- Drew.
477
00:19:53,662 --> 00:19:54,581
Oh, right with you.
478
00:19:56,582 --> 00:19:59,126
Hey, hey, are those, uh, three
different kinds of potato salad?
479
00:19:59,126 --> 00:20:01,837
- Drew.
- Drew, join the party, man.
480
00:20:01,837 --> 00:20:03,088
You don't have to leave.
481
00:20:03,088 --> 00:20:05,341
He's right.
You don't gotta go.
482
00:20:05,341 --> 00:20:07,760
I could drive myself.
483
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,221
Uh, yes,
I-I do have to leave
484
00:20:10,221 --> 00:20:11,805
and I-I'll tell you why.
485
00:20:11,805 --> 00:20:14,100
'Cause Mimi's a fellow employee
486
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:16,311
and, uh, I know what
it's like to be left out.
487
00:20:18,813 --> 00:20:20,480
Let me tell you another thing.
488
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,566
I don't think it's right.
I'm not gonna be a part of it.
489
00:20:22,566 --> 00:20:24,110
'Cause people are people
490
00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:26,529
and you have to learn to accept
'em for what they are.
491
00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:28,781
And they're people.
That's all they should be.
492
00:20:28,781 --> 00:20:30,032
That's all
they should have to be.
493
00:20:30,032 --> 00:20:31,408
That's all
they're ever gonna be.
494
00:20:31,408 --> 00:20:32,785
Come on, pal.
What you saving it for?
495
00:20:33,702 --> 00:20:35,746
I think I made my point.
496
00:20:35,746 --> 00:20:37,999
Anybody who stays here oughta
be ashamed of themselves.
497
00:20:42,836 --> 00:20:44,004
I never thought I'd see the day
498
00:20:44,004 --> 00:20:46,257
when Drew left a party
with Mimi.
499
00:20:48,134 --> 00:20:49,802
(Drew)
'Oh, my God.
What have I done?'
500
00:20:54,056 --> 00:20:56,100
Hey, did they really make
animals this small?
501
00:20:56,100 --> 00:21:00,062
Those are normal size. Your
hands are just getting fatter.
502
00:21:00,062 --> 00:21:02,982
Don't get any on the seats.
I just got new seat covers.
503
00:21:02,982 --> 00:21:04,525
Why, the old ones
commit suicide?
504
00:21:07,194 --> 00:21:08,904
We're here.
505
00:21:08,904 --> 00:21:11,991
Thanks for ruining my gas
mileage, anvil butt.
506
00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:17,121
And, uh, thanks for leaving
the party with me.
507
00:21:19,206 --> 00:21:22,877
Ah, doesn't matter anyway.
It wasn't right.
508
00:21:22,877 --> 00:21:25,212
Hey, look, uh...
509
00:21:25,212 --> 00:21:26,505
I don't wanna get sappy
or anything--
510
00:21:26,505 --> 00:21:28,675
Get out, pig.
It's not a date.
511
00:21:29,467 --> 00:21:30,385
Gotcha.
34736
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof