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1
00:00:00,666 --> 00:00:02,043
[serene music]
2
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,461
[chuckling]
3
00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:05,379
- What?
- Listen to this.
4
00:00:05,379 --> 00:00:06,673
Drew has his
whole day planned.
5
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,007
"Things to do with Lisa.
6
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,967
"Afternoon, move Lisa in.
7
00:00:09,967 --> 00:00:11,218
"Night time options.
8
00:00:11,218 --> 00:00:14,263
Share a silly secret."
9
00:00:14,263 --> 00:00:15,348
Wash each other's hair."
10
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:16,391
That shouldn't take long.
11
00:00:18,142 --> 00:00:20,352
"Read a sexy story."
12
00:00:20,352 --> 00:00:21,813
Give me that!
13
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,690
I'm trying to make sure
everything goes alright.
14
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:26,150
It's the first time I've
ever lived with a woman.
15
00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:27,986
Oh, my God. I'm gonna
live with a woman.
16
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,238
Our little Drew's growin' up.
17
00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,031
Seems like only yesterday
18
00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:34,033
he was the older,
single man in the neighborhood
19
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:37,620
that all the parents kept
their children away from.
20
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,372
Yeah, but now he's
living with a woman.
21
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:42,583
Goodbye, police lineups.
22
00:00:42,583 --> 00:00:43,876
Hey, Drew,
how come you've got
23
00:00:43,876 --> 00:00:44,961
coasters in all
the bottle rings?
24
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:46,296
I can't see where
my beer goes.
25
00:00:47,755 --> 00:00:48,965
For your information
26
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:51,300
you put the coasters
under the beer bottle
27
00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:53,094
in case it sweats.
28
00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:55,263
So, do you sit
on a coaster, Drew?
29
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,600
Knock it off,
this is serious.
30
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,560
You know, Lisa and I almost
broke up a couple of weeks ago.
31
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,314
Luckily, I came up with the idea
of us movin' in together.
32
00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:08,901
Shut up! It's gonna work.
33
00:01:08,901 --> 00:01:10,611
Hey, remember the day
I first moved in?
34
00:01:10,611 --> 00:01:12,321
Like it was
yesterday, Lewis.
35
00:01:12,321 --> 00:01:13,865
Couple of crazy kids
36
00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:16,158
no furniture,
makin' minimum wage.
37
00:01:16,158 --> 00:01:18,244
- Things have changed.
- Yeah.
38
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:20,205
- They raised the minimum wage!
- Hello!
39
00:01:23,415 --> 00:01:25,167
Oh! Holy Christmas, Drew
40
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:27,461
this soup sucks.
41
00:01:27,461 --> 00:01:29,214
It's not soup,
I'm simmering potpourri.
42
00:01:32,466 --> 00:01:34,510
Well... I guess, I shouldn't
have put the hotdogs in.
43
00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:35,637
Hmm.
44
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:43,561
Doilies.
45
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,608
[Southern accent]
Hey, pa, looks like
a woman's comin' over.
46
00:01:50,776 --> 00:01:53,822
Woman on the ranch!
47
00:01:55,948 --> 00:01:58,284
"New Age Woman,"
"Independent Woman?"
48
00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,577
Hey, look, Lewis
49
00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:00,828
you're a "fashion don't."
50
00:02:00,828 --> 00:02:02,246
Oh.
51
00:02:02,246 --> 00:02:04,415
Okay, that's it!
Just put 'em back!
52
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:05,708
In the fan-shape.
53
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:08,836
Drew, what're you doin' here?
54
00:02:08,836 --> 00:02:10,171
I'm freakin' out.
That's what I'm doin'.
55
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:11,755
[doorbell ringing]
Huh! Get down!
56
00:02:11,755 --> 00:02:13,341
- What?
- Huh? Nothin'.
57
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:14,634
Just act normal.
58
00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:19,722
Hello, Lisa!
59
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,101
- Hey, Drew.
- Hello, Drew.
60
00:02:24,101 --> 00:02:25,270
Hello, Lisa.
61
00:02:26,562 --> 00:02:27,772
A carpet tree!
62
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,486
I always wondered
where carpet came from.
63
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,863
Hey, thanks for getting Jay
and his movers to help me, Kate.
64
00:02:35,863 --> 00:02:37,489
I never thought anyone
would do it for free.
65
00:02:37,489 --> 00:02:38,991
Well, thanks for
moving in with Drew.
66
00:02:38,991 --> 00:02:40,660
I never thought anyone
would do that for free.
67
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,539
Lis, did you
pack a litter box?
68
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:45,623
Oh, Mischka
doesn't use one.
69
00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:47,625
She's toilet-trained.
70
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:49,919
She's what?
71
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,713
Toilet-trained,
she hops up on the seat
72
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,589
and does her
little business.
73
00:02:53,589 --> 00:02:55,508
See, Oswald?
Even cats can do it.
74
00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:59,554
Hey, at least I bury it.
75
00:03:02,139 --> 00:03:03,808
Well...
76
00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:05,351
...we're finally
gonna do it.
77
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,728
God!
We really are.
78
00:03:07,728 --> 00:03:09,355
And I have a good
feeling about this.
79
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,065
I mean, I don't
care if all those
80
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:13,442
women's magazine say
it's a big mistake.
81
00:03:13,442 --> 00:03:15,028
Ah, who reads
that crap anyway?
82
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:18,573
Uh-oh. We left
the door open.
83
00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:19,949
Strays are getting in.
Come on you, shoo!
84
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,326
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Get out of here!
85
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,077
Wait, wait, wait.
These-these are my dogs.
86
00:03:25,162 --> 00:03:26,622
Since when did
you get two dogs?
87
00:03:26,622 --> 00:03:28,374
My folks just got
into a condo where they
88
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,251
don't allow animals
and since you...
89
00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:33,004
Aww.
90
00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:36,341
And since you have such
a great yard, I thought...
91
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,635
I.. Well, y-you
don't mind, do you?
92
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,180
No. See?
93
00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:44,807
The special surprises
are startin' already.
94
00:03:45,766 --> 00:03:46,892
[dog whines]
95
00:03:46,892 --> 00:03:48,269
Well, he likes you.
96
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:49,603
Alright,
y-you know Mischka.
97
00:03:49,603 --> 00:03:51,397
(Drew)
'I love Mischka.'
98
00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:52,440
(Lisa)
'Yes.'
99
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,982
'And this Chaplain.'
100
00:03:53,982 --> 00:03:55,026
Chaplain.
101
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,277
And Stinky.
102
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:57,778
Stinky.
103
00:03:57,778 --> 00:03:58,780
How'd you get
your name, huh?
104
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,615
And finally...
105
00:04:01,615 --> 00:04:02,659
Come on, baby.
106
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,036
Oh, a veteran.
107
00:04:09,957 --> 00:04:11,208
This is Speedy.
108
00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:12,752
He's got a little hip problem.
109
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:14,837
Aw.
110
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:16,672
You know, I had an aunt
with a hip problem?
111
00:04:16,672 --> 00:04:19,592
But you have a lot
less hair on your face.
112
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,552
Now, we're gonna
build you a special bed.
113
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:24,305
Just for you,
buddy, yeah!
114
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,975
Well, you know, they-they
sleep in the bedroom with us?
115
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:30,019
Oh.
116
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:31,854
Now, Speedy...
117
00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:33,481
...you're gonna see some things
that you may not understand
118
00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:35,942
but people do it
facing each other.
119
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:44,617
[theme music]
120
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:45,993
♪ Moon over Parma ♪
121
00:04:45,993 --> 00:04:48,746
♪ Bring my love to me tonight ♪
122
00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:52,500
♪ Guide her to Cleveland
underneath your silvery light ♪
123
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,668
♪ We're goin' bowlin' ♪
124
00:04:54,668 --> 00:04:56,670
♪ So don't lose her in Solon ♪
125
00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:59,340
♪ Moon over Parma tonight ♪
126
00:05:02,384 --> 00:05:03,428
[upbeat music]
127
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:08,432
Well, well,
lookie here.
128
00:05:08,432 --> 00:05:10,893
An employee change
of address request.
129
00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,103
Well, this must be a mistake,
'cause Lisa put down
130
00:05:13,103 --> 00:05:16,899
666, Pig Lane.
Isn't that your address?
131
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,818
One week and going strong, Mimi.
132
00:05:19,818 --> 00:05:20,986
Jealous?
133
00:05:20,986 --> 00:05:23,614
Oh, ho, ho!
Shackin' up?
134
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:25,783
With you?
135
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,452
[coughing]
136
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,539
Good God, I almost swallowed
137
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,165
my tongue on that one.
138
00:05:33,165 --> 00:05:34,792
Well, that would be bad.
139
00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:36,085
Then how would you
feed from the high trees?
140
00:05:39,296 --> 00:05:41,799
By any chance,
does your mom know?
141
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,342
What, that I'm living with Lisa?
142
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:45,469
I'm an adult. I don't
have to ask my mom.
143
00:05:45,469 --> 00:05:47,472
She doesn't know! She doesn't
know! I'm gonna call.
144
00:05:51,058 --> 00:05:53,936
Put the lipstick down,
Priscilla.
145
00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:56,147
Put the phone down,
or I get pretty.
146
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:58,649
No, not my
Circus Pink.
147
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:01,068
Do I have a cold sore,
right here, is that--
148
00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:02,236
[shouts]
149
00:06:05,072 --> 00:06:05,990
Hey, Drew.
150
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,325
- Hey.
- Hey.
151
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:08,408
How was your
drive to work?
152
00:06:08,408 --> 00:06:09,868
Great.
153
00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:11,245
So, what's new?
154
00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:13,122
Nothin' much.
155
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:15,374
Oh, wait, uh,
last night...
156
00:06:15,374 --> 00:06:16,667
Oh, you
were there.
157
00:06:18,335 --> 00:06:19,795
Well, then there
was this morning...
158
00:06:19,795 --> 00:06:21,923
Oh, you did it actually.
159
00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:25,593
So...
160
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:27,637
So...
161
00:06:30,347 --> 00:06:31,557
Well, uh...
162
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:32,975
Oh, by the way
163
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:34,143
they fixed
the Xerox machine.
164
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:36,353
Uh, they needed
some toner--
165
00:06:36,353 --> 00:06:37,896
Whoa! Oh, honey.
166
00:06:37,896 --> 00:06:39,273
Save a little
somethin' for dinner.
167
00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:40,274
Oh.
168
00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:43,527
- Lisa.
- Hey, Jay.
169
00:06:43,527 --> 00:06:44,528
Hey, ready
for lunch, Drew?
170
00:06:44,528 --> 00:06:46,280
Yeah. Hey, uh, you sounded
171
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,407
kind of upset on the phone.
Everything okay?
172
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:49,700
Yeah, I need your advice.
173
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,159
I got a shot at
a business opportunity
174
00:06:51,159 --> 00:06:52,828
but I'm not sure whether
to go for it or not.
175
00:06:52,828 --> 00:06:54,705
Well, you came to
the right cubicle, pal.
176
00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,623
I can't tell you how many
captains of industries
177
00:06:56,623 --> 00:06:59,418
sat in that very chair and
I'll tell you what I told them.
178
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:01,170
"Third door on the left,
jiggle the handle."
179
00:07:04,673 --> 00:07:06,801
My brother wants me to invest
with him in a Dairy Queen.
180
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,636
Wow! A Dairy Queen.
181
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:11,222
Yeah, the only problem is
it's in Farmington, Minnesota.
182
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:13,224
Yeah, so let me
get this straight.
183
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,891
You can get up at like 4 a.m.
and make yourself
184
00:07:14,891 --> 00:07:16,185
a peanut buster parfait,
or no wait!
185
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:18,020
A dilly bar, no wait!
186
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,271
Oh, wait my head is spinning!
What're you waiting for, man?
187
00:07:19,271 --> 00:07:21,273
Go do it!
188
00:07:21,273 --> 00:07:23,317
Drew, I have to move
to run the place.
189
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:24,985
Move? Well, forget 4 a.m.,
you could live there.
190
00:07:24,985 --> 00:07:27,571
- Right underneath the nozzle.
- 'Yeah, okay, okay.'
191
00:07:27,571 --> 00:07:29,240
Now, if I move...
192
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,908
...what happens to me and Kate?
193
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,410
Oh, no. I guess
you have to break up.
194
00:07:33,410 --> 00:07:35,121
Or she comes with me.
195
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,956
No, she's my best friend,
you break up.
196
00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:40,000
That's very adult,
Drew, but, um...
197
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,376
This is a
difficult situation.
198
00:07:41,376 --> 00:07:43,087
Well, whatever you do,
don't hurt her
199
00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:44,338
or I'm gonna do to you
what I did in third grade
200
00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:46,006
when you played
Keep Away with my pants.
201
00:07:46,006 --> 00:07:48,300
And what's that? Hit yourself
and run away cryin'?
202
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,301
Yeah, let me tell
you somethin', pal.
203
00:07:49,301 --> 00:07:50,678
I cry a lot louder now.
204
00:07:51,845 --> 00:07:53,514
[upbeat music]
205
00:07:55,845 --> 00:07:58,000
Lisa, honey, you gonna
be in there long?
206
00:07:58,550 --> 00:07:59,920
[Mischka meows]
207
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,450
Sorry, Mischka.
208
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,320
Think you can flush this time?
209
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,460
[Lisa humming]
210
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,100
Hey.
211
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:12,230
Oh, I can't stop thinking about
212
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:13,900
what Jay said today,
how about you?
213
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:14,800
Mm-hmm.
214
00:08:15,770 --> 00:08:16,330
[humming]
215
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:17,000
No, I mean, uh..
216
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:18,340
Kate leavin' Cleveland?
217
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,100
- You think she'd really do it?
- Like a..
218
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,240
Mm.
219
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:22,500
[continues humming]
220
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:23,970
Wh-what if that
happened to us?
221
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:24,840
You know, what if
I were offered some
222
00:08:24,910 --> 00:08:25,940
big million dollar job
223
00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:26,880
in New York or somethin'?
224
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,200
[laughs]
225
00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:30,500
No, really.
226
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:34,080
And then a beautiful
woman like Demi Moore
227
00:08:34,150 --> 00:08:35,690
pressured me
into havin' sex?
228
00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:39,790
It could happen. Remember the
guy that won the lottery twice?
229
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:42,560
Hey, uh..
230
00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:43,860
Is there any way to
train these dogs
231
00:08:43,930 --> 00:08:45,690
to quit followin' me around?
232
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:46,860
They're not following you
233
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,100
they're following the food.
234
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,170
Food just always
seems to be around you.
235
00:08:52,892 --> 00:08:55,395
You woke me up
eatin' in bed last night.
236
00:08:55,395 --> 00:08:57,063
It wasn't me,
that was your cat.
237
00:08:57,063 --> 00:08:58,523
Oh, that's funny, I don't...
I don't remember
238
00:08:58,523 --> 00:09:01,902
my cat ever saying,
"Mm-mm, I loves me chips."
239
00:09:03,987 --> 00:09:05,238
Hey, that was
a private conversation
240
00:09:05,238 --> 00:09:06,865
between a man and his chips.
241
00:09:07,657 --> 00:09:08,658
Okay, okay.
242
00:09:08,658 --> 00:09:10,202
We'll talk about
your diet later.
243
00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:15,120
♪ You fill up my senses ♪
244
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,030
She ever get to the chorus?
245
00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:20,830
Who's hungry?
246
00:09:21,036 --> 00:09:23,246
Who's hungry?
247
00:09:23,246 --> 00:09:25,249
[barking]
I can't hear you!
248
00:09:25,249 --> 00:09:26,375
[barking continues]
249
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,587
Listen, honey, I'm gonna
go to the Warsaw and get
250
00:09:30,587 --> 00:09:31,880
a couple of beers with the guys.
251
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,257
But we've got
a brewery in the garage.
252
00:09:34,257 --> 00:09:36,635
Oh, yeah, but I feel
like havin' a light beer.
253
00:09:36,635 --> 00:09:38,261
Okay. I'll miss you.
254
00:09:38,261 --> 00:09:40,055
I'll miss you too.
255
00:09:40,055 --> 00:09:42,391
- I'll be here.
- I know you will.
256
00:09:44,142 --> 00:09:47,270
Who's gonna miss Drew?
257
00:09:47,270 --> 00:09:48,314
[barking stops]
258
00:09:51,107 --> 00:09:53,068
[upbeat music]
259
00:09:56,613 --> 00:09:58,114
Tim, give me a beer.
260
00:09:58,114 --> 00:09:59,908
Man, what a night.
261
00:09:59,908 --> 00:10:02,286
Tim, you don't know what it's
like in my house these days.
262
00:10:02,286 --> 00:10:03,579
Thank God you can
still come here
263
00:10:03,579 --> 00:10:05,080
to get away from your problems.
264
00:10:07,624 --> 00:10:08,709
[screams]
265
00:10:09,918 --> 00:10:11,586
What're you
doin' here?
266
00:10:11,586 --> 00:10:13,881
Besides makin'
that stool suffer?
267
00:10:15,089 --> 00:10:16,216
I'm makin' yours jealous.
268
00:10:17,634 --> 00:10:19,386
Just keep
your hands off.
269
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:20,929
I'm here
with a band.
270
00:10:20,929 --> 00:10:22,222
Hey, Stosh!
271
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:28,937
If sex had a face,
that would be it.
272
00:10:28,937 --> 00:10:32,441
If nausea had a stomach,
it would be mine.
273
00:10:32,441 --> 00:10:35,777
So, I guess it's not goin'
real well with Lisa
274
00:10:35,777 --> 00:10:38,697
or you wouldn't be
hangin' out alone in a bar.
275
00:10:38,697 --> 00:10:41,116
Look, I just came in
to have a beer or two
276
00:10:41,116 --> 00:10:42,909
and then I'm
gonna go home.
277
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:44,411
She's the one that
should be tippin' it for you
278
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,455
before battlin'
the Great White.
279
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,253
So, uh, Mimi, uh, did you
ever live with anybody?
280
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:56,465
I've had a toothbrush
or two in my bathroom.
281
00:10:56,465 --> 00:10:58,091
Well, if you
don't mind me askin'
282
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:00,343
um, how come it didn't work out?
283
00:11:00,343 --> 00:11:02,387
I wasn't ready
to be tied down.
284
00:11:02,387 --> 00:11:03,389
Shut up!
285
00:11:05,974 --> 00:11:07,767
No, I mean, if you found
the right person it would...
286
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,186
It would have to
work out, wouldn't it?
287
00:11:11,187 --> 00:11:13,023
I can tell you're troubled.
288
00:11:13,023 --> 00:11:14,608
Here's what you do.
289
00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:17,820
You get off your bar stool,
you get in your car
290
00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:19,863
and you drive until you
find someone who cares!
291
00:11:22,657 --> 00:11:24,868
'Uh-oh! The poker
sluts are circlin'.'
292
00:11:24,868 --> 00:11:27,329
Hey! Go peddle your produce
to somewhere else, honey.
293
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,456
Hey, Drew,
have you seen, Jay?
294
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,584
He called up all nervous and
wanted me to meet him here.
295
00:11:32,584 --> 00:11:34,961
He said, he's made the biggest
decision of his life.
296
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,671
I think it's obvious
what it's about.
297
00:11:36,671 --> 00:11:39,007
Traditional burial or frozen.
298
00:11:39,007 --> 00:11:41,093
I think he's gonna
ask you to marry him.
299
00:11:41,093 --> 00:11:42,469
Yeah, like that'll matter
in a thousand years.
300
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:43,803
Oh.
301
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,263
Why would he be thinking
about marriage now?
302
00:11:45,263 --> 00:11:47,140
Uh, I think I know.
303
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,766
I had lunch
with him today
304
00:11:48,766 --> 00:11:50,560
and he's got this great
business opportunity
305
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,145
to move to Minnesota.
306
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,273
Hmm, I hear
wedding bells.
307
00:11:54,273 --> 00:11:57,525
Oh, I love to hear
those two special words.
308
00:11:57,525 --> 00:11:58,652
Open bar.
309
00:12:01,696 --> 00:12:03,740
Wh-what am I gonna do?
310
00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:05,367
I-I never expected this.
311
00:12:05,367 --> 00:12:06,368
I mean, I...
312
00:12:06,368 --> 00:12:08,787
I can't say yes.
313
00:12:08,787 --> 00:12:10,372
We haven't even been
dating a year yet.
314
00:12:10,372 --> 00:12:11,999
I hope he takes it okay.
315
00:12:14,417 --> 00:12:16,128
Here comes, Wile E Coyote,
waitin' for the anvil.
316
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,755
- Hi, guys.
- Hey.
317
00:12:18,755 --> 00:12:19,798
Come on, let's
all go the bathroom.
318
00:12:19,798 --> 00:12:20,799
Okay.
319
00:12:25,303 --> 00:12:26,346
Uh, Kate, listen,
there's somethin' I need
320
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,430
to talk to you about.
321
00:12:27,430 --> 00:12:28,432
Okay.
322
00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:30,893
Um...
323
00:12:32,435 --> 00:12:33,687
Oh, Jay, don't.
324
00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:34,979
What? I'm
tying my shoe.
325
00:12:34,979 --> 00:12:37,023
Oh! Go ahead.
326
00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:39,776
Look, um, normally
I don't move this fast.
327
00:12:39,776 --> 00:12:41,737
But something's come up
328
00:12:41,737 --> 00:12:43,696
and I don't think I should
wait any longer to do this.
329
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,907
Oh, Jay.
330
00:12:45,907 --> 00:12:47,575
I co-signed a loan
for my brother
331
00:12:47,575 --> 00:12:50,411
and I'm moving to Minnesota
to run a Dairy Queen.
332
00:12:50,411 --> 00:12:53,373
You know, this is all very
romantic and everything
333
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:57,085
but... I can't let you
go on with this proposal.
334
00:12:57,794 --> 00:12:59,837
Proposal?
335
00:12:59,837 --> 00:13:01,215
Um, you're not
proposing to me?
336
00:13:02,299 --> 00:13:03,466
Oh.
337
00:13:03,466 --> 00:13:05,177
Oh, jeez, Kate.
338
00:13:05,177 --> 00:13:06,678
I'm sorry that's
what you were thinking.
339
00:13:06,678 --> 00:13:08,555
Oh.. I feel terrible.
340
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:11,891
So, you're just asking me
to move to Minnesota with you?
341
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:13,519
Now I feel worse.
342
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,565
So, what's this all about?
343
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:19,691
I told you, I'm...
344
00:13:19,691 --> 00:13:21,067
I'm moving to Minnesota.
345
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:24,530
Uh-huh. So you're dumping me
for a Dairy Queen?
346
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,657
Well, actually it's
one of the new ones
347
00:13:27,657 --> 00:13:29,034
with a drive thru
and a brazier.
348
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,953
But you don't wanna
hear about that.
349
00:13:31,953 --> 00:13:34,790
- Okay, so you're not proposing.
- No.
350
00:13:34,790 --> 00:13:36,833
Uh, and you're-you're
moving to Minnesota.
351
00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:38,126
Yes.
352
00:13:38,126 --> 00:13:40,086
I'm probably never
gonna see you again.
353
00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:41,504
- Probably not.
- Mm-hmm.
354
00:13:41,504 --> 00:13:43,048
Alright, that's it,
I'm breaking up with you.
355
00:13:45,008 --> 00:13:46,301
Kate, you're
just upset.
356
00:13:46,301 --> 00:13:47,885
Ten, nine, eight...
357
00:13:47,885 --> 00:13:49,679
Okay, I don't know
what you're doing.
358
00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:51,097
- But you don't scare me.
- ...seven, six, five...
359
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,682
- You have anger issues.
- ...three, two, one.
360
00:13:52,682 --> 00:13:54,393
I'm not scared,
but I'm leavin'.
361
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:57,979
Kate, hey...
362
00:13:57,979 --> 00:13:59,690
Are you.. I mean, you okay?
363
00:14:01,149 --> 00:14:02,901
Jay's moving to
Minnesota without me.
364
00:14:05,821 --> 00:14:08,323
Kate, if it makes you
feel any better
365
00:14:08,323 --> 00:14:09,533
you can hit me.
366
00:14:12,494 --> 00:14:13,411
That didn't help.
367
00:14:13,411 --> 00:14:14,830
I gotta get
out of here.
368
00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:16,874
Hey, hey, you're not
going anywhere alone, okay?
369
00:14:22,337 --> 00:14:24,256
She didn't have
to hit me so hard.
370
00:14:25,716 --> 00:14:26,967
Love hurts, buddy.
371
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,135
Oh, yeah?
372
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,011
I'm gonna get in shape
and when I do
373
00:14:30,011 --> 00:14:32,180
I'm gonna come back
and kick love's ass.
374
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,435
[cars honking]
375
00:14:37,435 --> 00:14:40,104
Uh, Kate, are you sure
you should be driving?
376
00:14:40,104 --> 00:14:41,481
Yeah, it calms me down.
377
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,608
Move it!
378
00:14:43,942 --> 00:14:45,276
[Lewis whimpering]
379
00:14:45,276 --> 00:14:47,195
Oh, great!
The police!
380
00:14:47,195 --> 00:14:49,197
It's not the police,
that's Lewis in the back cryin'.
381
00:14:51,741 --> 00:14:54,077
Man, one day
you're in love
382
00:14:54,077 --> 00:14:55,578
the next day
he's in Minnesota!
383
00:14:55,578 --> 00:14:56,580
[tires screeching]
384
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:58,206
What's the point of it all?
385
00:14:58,206 --> 00:15:00,459
The point is to stay
between the painted lines.
386
00:15:01,626 --> 00:15:02,669
Who cares?
387
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,337
Oh, Katie...
388
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:05,963
Okay, I got the wheel!
Grab her!
389
00:15:05,963 --> 00:15:07,298
You guys, it's
a terrible plan.
390
00:15:07,298 --> 00:15:09,134
She's still got
the accelerator.
391
00:15:09,134 --> 00:15:11,178
I never told my father
I loved him.
392
00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:12,804
Oh, stop it!
393
00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:16,099
Well, let's just go
to Oswald and Lewis' place
394
00:15:16,099 --> 00:15:17,267
and we'll have a couple of beers
395
00:15:17,267 --> 00:15:18,643
and we'll sort this
whole thing out.
396
00:15:18,643 --> 00:15:20,478
Our house? We never
go to our house.
397
00:15:20,478 --> 00:15:23,231
We don't even like
to go to our house.
398
00:15:23,231 --> 00:15:26,067
Wait, I know where we can go.
399
00:15:26,067 --> 00:15:28,778
I know what'll make
little Katie feel better.
400
00:15:28,778 --> 00:15:31,198
[tires screeching]
401
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:33,533
We're going to Jay's!
402
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,994
Now, would we be actually
stopping at Jay's?
403
00:15:35,994 --> 00:15:38,830
Or is this more of
a drive by type situation?
404
00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:40,582
[upbeat music]
405
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,890
♪ Searched the world over and I
thought I found true love ♪
406
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,830
♪ You met another and ♪
407
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:49,860
♪ Pfft you was gone ♪
408
00:15:50,668 --> 00:15:52,003
I am so glad
409
00:15:52,003 --> 00:15:54,547
you guys talked me
out of going to Jay's.
410
00:15:54,547 --> 00:15:57,758
You know, tonight should've
been the worst night of my life.
411
00:15:57,758 --> 00:15:59,260
But thanks to friends like you
412
00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:01,720
and two pounds of
cheap Chinese in my belly
413
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,181
tomorrow morning is gonna be
the worst night of my life.
414
00:16:04,181 --> 00:16:06,184
- I gotta go pee.
- Okay.
415
00:16:06,184 --> 00:16:08,436
I see you guys are
still buying in bulk.
416
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:10,772
I was dating a Russian girl.
417
00:16:10,772 --> 00:16:12,815
I was trying to impress her.
418
00:16:12,815 --> 00:16:13,983
(Kate)
'Lewis!'
419
00:16:13,983 --> 00:16:15,735
Seat's hangin'
on the wall, Kate.
420
00:16:17,653 --> 00:16:19,405
Hey! We got messages.
421
00:16:19,405 --> 00:16:20,531
How many?
422
00:16:20,531 --> 00:16:21,907
- Twelve. Alright.
- Yeah.
423
00:16:21,907 --> 00:16:23,201
[beep]
424
00:16:23,201 --> 00:16:24,243
(Oswald)
'Hey, Lewis, it's Oswald.'
425
00:16:24,243 --> 00:16:26,245
'Goin' to the Warsaw tonight?'
426
00:16:26,245 --> 00:16:27,246
(Lewis)
'Hey, Oswald, Lewis here.'
427
00:16:27,246 --> 00:16:28,873
'You goin' to the Warsaw?'
428
00:16:28,873 --> 00:16:30,416
(Oswald)
'Lewis. You there? It's Oswald.'
429
00:16:30,416 --> 00:16:32,376
'I'm thinkin' about
the Warsaw tonight.'
430
00:16:32,376 --> 00:16:33,711
(Lewis)
'Hey, it's me Lewis, you there?'
431
00:16:33,711 --> 00:16:35,004
[beep]
432
00:16:35,004 --> 00:16:36,047
(Oswald)
'This is Oswald.'
433
00:16:36,047 --> 00:16:38,340
'Pick up if you're there, man.'
434
00:16:38,340 --> 00:16:39,341
(Lewis)
'Hey, uh, maybe we should do'
435
00:16:39,341 --> 00:16:40,926
'somethin' else tonight.'
436
00:16:40,926 --> 00:16:41,927
'Nah.'
437
00:16:41,927 --> 00:16:42,929
[beep]
438
00:16:44,722 --> 00:16:45,932
We'll get
the rest later.
439
00:16:47,891 --> 00:16:50,936
So, I see you almost finished
your latest masterpiece?
440
00:16:50,936 --> 00:16:52,230
Ah, yeah.
441
00:16:52,230 --> 00:16:54,774
I call it, uh,
"Petticoat Junction."
442
00:16:54,774 --> 00:16:56,442
You see there's
a hotel and, uh...
443
00:16:56,442 --> 00:16:57,776
Well, there's Uncle Joe.
444
00:16:57,776 --> 00:16:59,904
Still a-movin',
sort of slow.
445
00:16:59,904 --> 00:17:01,405
At the junction.
446
00:17:01,405 --> 00:17:02,823
[Kate screams]
447
00:17:02,823 --> 00:17:05,659
There's a dead cockroach
on a toothpick in there!
448
00:17:05,659 --> 00:17:08,830
Yeah, I do that as a warning
to all the other cockroaches.
449
00:17:10,998 --> 00:17:12,249
You know, you guys
have been great
450
00:17:12,249 --> 00:17:13,918
but I-I'm ready
to call it a night.
451
00:17:13,918 --> 00:17:15,336
Come on, Drew, you can drop
me off on your way home.
452
00:17:15,336 --> 00:17:16,504
Oh no, you're not
ready to go home.
453
00:17:16,504 --> 00:17:17,505
Yeah, I am.
454
00:17:17,505 --> 00:17:18,672
No, you ate
all the Chinese.
455
00:17:18,672 --> 00:17:20,424
Remember what my
dad used to say.
456
00:17:20,424 --> 00:17:22,176
"Close the door if
you're gonna do that?"
457
00:17:23,260 --> 00:17:25,053
No, he said...
458
00:17:25,053 --> 00:17:26,472
"Don't make Drew go home if...
459
00:17:26,472 --> 00:17:28,098
"If she's there and her
460
00:17:28,098 --> 00:17:30,601
dogs are there and her cat
who pees on his toilet's there."
461
00:17:30,601 --> 00:17:32,562
She keeps singin', but she never
gets to the damn chorus.
462
00:17:34,104 --> 00:17:36,690
Drew, is there something
you wanna talk about?
463
00:17:36,690 --> 00:17:40,110
Don't make me go home.
Please don't make me go home.
464
00:17:40,110 --> 00:17:42,071
It's the first time that's ever
been said in this apartment.
465
00:17:43,864 --> 00:17:45,866
Look, Drew, when you
first move in with somebody
466
00:17:45,866 --> 00:17:47,576
there's always a period
of adjustment.
467
00:17:47,576 --> 00:17:49,745
Yeah, sure, I mean,
take Oswald with me, huh?
468
00:17:49,745 --> 00:17:52,165
I mean, I used to come in
at all kinds of weird hours
469
00:17:52,165 --> 00:17:53,749
workin' at Drug Co.
but, you know
470
00:17:53,749 --> 00:17:55,751
when I got home,
there was always a sandwich
471
00:17:55,751 --> 00:17:57,378
waitin' for me.
472
00:17:57,378 --> 00:17:58,421
- Oh.
- Oh.
473
00:17:58,421 --> 00:17:59,714
I never made you a sandwich.
474
00:18:01,466 --> 00:18:03,008
Well, you always made my bed.
That was nice.
475
00:18:03,008 --> 00:18:04,343
I never made your bed.
476
00:18:05,928 --> 00:18:07,597
Well, that changes our
whole relationship.
477
00:18:08,889 --> 00:18:10,099
And our locks.
478
00:18:16,105 --> 00:18:17,065
Wendy's.
479
00:18:19,817 --> 00:18:20,777
Burger King.
480
00:18:23,528 --> 00:18:25,031
McDonald's.
What am I, a rookie?
481
00:18:25,031 --> 00:18:27,533
Come on, challenge me!
482
00:18:27,533 --> 00:18:29,994
Drew, it's 3:30
in the morning.
483
00:18:29,994 --> 00:18:32,955
There's not a frier left
gurgling in Cleveland.
484
00:18:32,955 --> 00:18:34,332
You have to go home.
485
00:18:34,332 --> 00:18:35,666
I know a little
after hours grill
486
00:18:35,666 --> 00:18:36,959
where you can get
some French fries
487
00:18:36,959 --> 00:18:38,335
and the cops
will turn their heads.
488
00:18:38,335 --> 00:18:42,131
- Oh, Drew.
- I-I don't wanna go home.
489
00:18:42,131 --> 00:18:44,132
I don't know what to say to her.
You know, it's crazy.
490
00:18:44,132 --> 00:18:45,801
If years ago,
if you'd have told me
491
00:18:45,801 --> 00:18:48,929
I'd end up with a woman like
Lisa, I-I-I wouldn't believe it.
492
00:18:48,929 --> 00:18:50,931
And then, if you'd have told me
I was trying to get out of it
493
00:18:50,931 --> 00:18:52,350
then I'd say, "Well,
I can't really deal with that
494
00:18:52,350 --> 00:18:54,268
until I'm done defending
my Mr. Universe title."
495
00:18:55,978 --> 00:18:59,732
Drew, I know things aren't good
for you at home right now.
496
00:18:59,732 --> 00:19:01,692
The only way that people
can solve their problems
497
00:19:01,692 --> 00:19:04,987
is through open,
healthy communication.
498
00:19:04,987 --> 00:19:07,156
Oh, you can
just pull over here.
499
00:19:09,075 --> 00:19:10,034
Thanks, Drew.
500
00:19:14,663 --> 00:19:15,872
[glass shatters]
501
00:19:15,872 --> 00:19:17,124
(Kate)
'Okay, Jay, now we're'
502
00:19:17,124 --> 00:19:19,126
'officially broken up!'
503
00:19:19,126 --> 00:19:21,044
Go, go, go,
before he wakes up.
504
00:19:21,044 --> 00:19:22,672
[tires screeching]
505
00:19:22,672 --> 00:19:24,423
[upbeat music]
506
00:19:33,390 --> 00:19:35,100
"Dear, Drew...
507
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:38,145
"I sense you're
having some problems.
508
00:19:38,145 --> 00:19:39,981
"Staying at my friend Laura's.
509
00:19:39,981 --> 00:19:43,359
"The... animals are with me.
510
00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,110
"Please call me in the morning.
511
00:19:45,110 --> 00:19:46,154
Lisa."
512
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,448
She left me.
513
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:53,577
♪ I'm a-lone ♪
514
00:19:53,577 --> 00:19:55,287
♪ Oh the house is mine ♪
515
00:19:55,287 --> 00:19:56,956
♪ No more stupid so-ongs ♪
516
00:19:56,956 --> 00:19:58,457
♪ Except for this one ♪
517
00:19:58,457 --> 00:20:01,126
♪ No more cat seat
on my toilet ♪
518
00:20:01,126 --> 00:20:03,087
♪ Oh I can rub my butt ♪
519
00:20:03,087 --> 00:20:04,755
♪ Up on the cat tree ♪
520
00:20:04,755 --> 00:20:06,882
♪ Oh the house is mine ♪
521
00:20:06,882 --> 00:20:08,592
♪ Uh-uh do the butt tree dance ♪
522
00:20:08,592 --> 00:20:09,969
♪ Uh uh uh uh ♪
523
00:20:09,969 --> 00:20:11,595
♪ Oh you can rub your butt ♪
524
00:20:11,595 --> 00:20:13,347
♪ On the cat tree anytime ♪
525
00:20:13,347 --> 00:20:14,807
♪ Uh-uh uh ♪
526
00:20:17,643 --> 00:20:19,478
Well, I see you
got my note.
527
00:20:19,478 --> 00:20:20,605
Note? What note?
528
00:20:20,605 --> 00:20:21,981
Oh, this is from you?
529
00:20:23,273 --> 00:20:24,817
Oh, my God, no.
530
00:20:24,817 --> 00:20:26,402
Drew...
531
00:20:26,402 --> 00:20:27,653
...stop it.
532
00:20:27,653 --> 00:20:28,945
Um, I'm sorry.
533
00:20:28,945 --> 00:20:30,322
It's okay.
534
00:20:30,322 --> 00:20:32,366
Hey! You should've
seen my dance.
535
00:20:32,366 --> 00:20:35,036
Although, my finale did
not include the cat tree.
536
00:20:36,704 --> 00:20:38,998
So, you weren't happy?
537
00:20:38,998 --> 00:20:41,333
About as happy as you.
538
00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:43,252
That bad?
539
00:20:43,252 --> 00:20:44,921
Oh, my God, honey.
540
00:20:48,090 --> 00:20:49,758
Look, um...
541
00:20:49,758 --> 00:20:51,302
It's 4:00 in
the morning and...
542
00:20:51,302 --> 00:20:52,469
I know you
gave up your place
543
00:20:52,469 --> 00:20:55,055
and we invested
a lot in this, so...
544
00:20:55,055 --> 00:20:56,891
You know, if you wanna give it
another shot, I mean...
545
00:20:56,891 --> 00:20:59,601
We'll go to counseling,
we'll read books.
546
00:20:59,601 --> 00:21:00,811
I already called the cab.
547
00:21:00,811 --> 00:21:01,812
Okay, let me help
you with your bags.
548
00:21:01,812 --> 00:21:02,897
Yeah.
549
00:21:05,858 --> 00:21:07,484
Thanks, Drew.
550
00:21:07,484 --> 00:21:10,154
I've had some fun times
these last couple of weeks.
551
00:21:10,154 --> 00:21:11,822
It's only been a week.
552
00:21:11,822 --> 00:21:13,115
Oh, man.
553
00:21:13,115 --> 00:21:15,242
I'll see you at work.
554
00:21:15,242 --> 00:21:16,743
Hey, uh, one more thing.
555
00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:18,912
Can I keep Speedy?
556
00:21:18,912 --> 00:21:21,081
Well, sure you can.
557
00:21:21,081 --> 00:21:22,583
Oh.
558
00:21:22,583 --> 00:21:24,794
That was your plan
all along, wasn't it?
559
00:21:24,794 --> 00:21:26,170
Yeah, see most guys are nice to
560
00:21:26,170 --> 00:21:27,462
the crippled dog
to get the girl.
561
00:21:27,462 --> 00:21:28,797
- 'Mm-hmm.'
- Me on the other hand...
562
00:21:28,797 --> 00:21:30,424
Yeah.
563
00:21:30,424 --> 00:21:31,425
[upbeat music]
564
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,262
[glass shatters]
565
00:21:35,262 --> 00:21:36,764
(Kate)
'Hey, Steve,
that's for dumping me'
566
00:21:36,764 --> 00:21:38,307
'right before the prom.'
567
00:21:38,307 --> 00:21:40,183
Go, go, go, go!
568
00:21:40,183 --> 00:21:41,435
[tires screeching]
569
00:21:41,435 --> 00:21:42,645
[glass shatters]
570
00:21:42,645 --> 00:21:43,813
'Hey, Susie, that's'
571
00:21:43,813 --> 00:21:45,606
'for telling people I stuffed.'
572
00:21:45,606 --> 00:21:47,107
Move it!
573
00:21:47,107 --> 00:21:48,192
[tires screeching]
574
00:21:48,192 --> 00:21:49,652
[glass shatters]
575
00:21:49,652 --> 00:21:52,822
'That's for the C-minus,
Sister Beatrice.'
576
00:21:52,822 --> 00:21:54,573
Go, go, go.
577
00:21:54,573 --> 00:21:56,241
[glass shatters]
578
00:21:56,241 --> 00:21:58,452
Hey, you! You...
579
00:21:58,452 --> 00:22:00,371
Who're we up to?
580
00:22:00,371 --> 00:22:01,955
Uh, Peck Clemens, seventh grade.
581
00:22:01,955 --> 00:22:03,457
Oh, yeah.
582
00:22:03,457 --> 00:22:05,793
'That's for giving me mono!'
583
00:22:05,793 --> 00:22:06,794
Go, go, move it.
584
00:22:06,794 --> 00:22:07,795
[upbeat music]
585
00:22:10,172 --> 00:22:11,173
[chuckles]
37894
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