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[clock ticking]
2
00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:05,922
[Vogues singing
"Five O'clock World"]
3
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:10,385
♪ Hey hey ♪
4
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:13,721
♪ Up every mornin'
just to keep a job ♪
5
00:00:13,721 --> 00:00:18,184
♪ I gotta fight my way
through the hustling mob ♪
6
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:21,604
♪ Sounds of the city
poundin' in my brain ♪
7
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:24,440
♪ While another day
goes down the drain ♪
8
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,276
♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ But it's a 5 o'clock world ♪
9
00:00:27,276 --> 00:00:29,654
♪ When the whistle blows ♪
10
00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:32,699
♪ No one owns
a piece of my time ♪
11
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:37,162
♪ And there's a 5 o'clock me
inside my clothes ♪
12
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:41,457
♪ Thinkin' that
the world looks fine yeah ♪
13
00:00:41,457 --> 00:00:45,336
♪ Hey hey ♪
♪ Holiday ee-e-e yeah ♪
14
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:48,464
♪ Hey hey ♪
15
00:00:48,464 --> 00:00:52,176
♪ Tradin' my time
for the pay I get ♪
16
00:00:52,176 --> 00:00:55,430
♪ Livin' on money
that I ain't made yet ♪
17
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,598
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Gotta keep goin' ♪
18
00:00:57,598 --> 00:00:59,392
♪ Gotta make my way ♪
♪ Hey ♪
19
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:03,104
♪ While I live
for the end of the day ♪
20
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:05,272
♪ 'Cause
it's a 5 o'clock world ♪
21
00:01:05,272 --> 00:01:07,734
♪ When the whistle blows ♪
22
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:10,861
♪ No one owns
a piece of my time ♪
23
00:01:10,861 --> 00:01:15,116
♪ And there's a long-haired girl
who waits I know ♪
24
00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:19,412
♪ To ease my troubled mind
yeah ♪
25
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:23,207
♪ Hey hey ♪
♪ Holiday ee-e-e yeah ♪
26
00:01:23,207 --> 00:01:25,835
♪ Hey hey ♪
27
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:29,964
♪ In the shelter of her arms
everything's okay ♪
28
00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:33,843
♪ She talks and the world
goes slippin' away ♪
29
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:37,597
♪ And I know the reason
I can still go on ♪
30
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,182
♪ When every other reason
is gone ♪
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00:01:40,182 --> 00:01:43,019
♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ In my 5 o'clock world ♪
32
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:45,438
♪ She waits for me ♪
33
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:49,108
♪ Nothing else matters at all ♪
34
00:01:49,108 --> 00:01:52,904
♪ 'Cause every time
my baby smiles at me ♪
35
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:57,200
♪ I know that
it's all worthwhile yeah ♪
36
00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,869
♪ Hey hey ♪
♪ Holiday ee-e-e yeah ♪
37
00:02:00,869 --> 00:02:01,996
♪ Hey ♪
38
00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:04,624
♪ Hey ♪
39
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:08,294
♪ Hey hey ♪
♪ Holiday ee-e-e yeah ♪
40
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,504
♪ Hey ♪
41
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,923
♪ Hey ♪
42
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:15,634
♪ Hey hey ♪
♪ Holiday ee-e-e yeah ♪
43
00:02:15,634 --> 00:02:16,845
♪ Hey ♪
44
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,765
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Holiday ♪
45
00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:22,058
[theme song]
46
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:23,351
♪ Moon over Parma ♪
47
00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:26,062
♪ Bring my love to me tonight ♪
48
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:30,274
♪ Guide her to Cleveland
underneath your silvery light ♪
49
00:02:30,274 --> 00:02:34,153
♪ We're goin' bowlin'
so don't lose her in Solon ♪
50
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:36,698
♪ Moon over Parma tonight ♪
51
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:42,120
[instrumental music]
52
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:47,083
Good morning, pig.
53
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,419
Good morning, Mimi. Did you do
something to your hair?
54
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,545
My hair is exactly the same.
55
00:02:51,545 --> 00:02:53,506
Oh, well, I guess
the snakes changed colors.
56
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,011
[Mimi laughs]
57
00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:00,346
Oh, that's odd.
58
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,430
I thought Weebles wobbled
59
00:03:01,430 --> 00:03:03,557
but they didn't fall down.
60
00:03:03,557 --> 00:03:05,560
- Heh-heh.
- What was that for?
61
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,354
That was for snitching
that I was late yesterday.
62
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:10,064
Okay, fair enough.
63
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,899
Uh, could you do me a favor
and give me
64
00:03:11,899 --> 00:03:14,360
last year's evaluations
from the file cabinet?
65
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,445
I'm not that stupid.
66
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,738
You think I don't know that this
67
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,697
thing's been booby-trapped?
68
00:03:18,697 --> 00:03:19,824
[scoffs]
69
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:22,994
[drawer shuts]
70
00:03:29,917 --> 00:03:33,796
Uh, that's for putting Equal
in my sugar.
71
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:36,215
Well, the joke's on you
72
00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:40,052
because now I get to be barefoot
all day long.
73
00:03:40,052 --> 00:03:41,762
Well, you need some new shoes?
I'll make you some.
74
00:03:41,762 --> 00:03:43,890
Now, where did I put my anvil?
75
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:48,227
Here's your stupid file.
76
00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:49,771
You could've just printed out
your own copy.
77
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,522
I already entered it
in the computer.
78
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:52,815
What? You've been messing
with my computer?
79
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,233
What did you do, plant a virus?
80
00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:56,069
No, I helped you open
your own pig site
81
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,655
www.big.pig.
82
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,993
I'm warning you, if you've been
screwing with this...
83
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:06,412
[automated message on computer]
'Bite me, bite me, bite me.'
84
00:04:08,664 --> 00:04:09,916
'Dough boy.'
85
00:04:14,211 --> 00:04:16,505
That's it. I'm not playing
anymore of your petty games.
86
00:04:16,505 --> 00:04:18,508
I have work to do.
87
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,803
Oh, man!
88
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:25,473
Ha-ha-ha! Now we'll know
if you touch all the doughnuts.
89
00:04:27,057 --> 00:04:28,226
[chuckling]
90
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,727
[laughing]
91
00:04:30,727 --> 00:04:32,146
- What's so funny?
- Nothing.
92
00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:33,313
I'm just smiling along with you.
93
00:04:33,313 --> 00:04:34,565
[thudding]
94
00:04:35,816 --> 00:04:38,569
Oh, great! Now I need a wet nap.
95
00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,153
Well, I always keep a box
on hand
96
00:04:40,153 --> 00:04:41,822
just in case
my prayers were answered
97
00:04:41,822 --> 00:04:45,326
and it starts
raining baby back ribs.
98
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:46,952
You mean,
in case you're brown-nosing
99
00:04:46,952 --> 00:04:50,790
and you need to clean off
your portable boss seat.
100
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,792
- Just give me one, please.
- No way. Get your own.
101
00:04:53,792 --> 00:04:55,711
You know what,
you deserve what I put
102
00:04:55,711 --> 00:04:57,421
in your top left-hand drawer.
103
00:04:57,421 --> 00:04:59,382
Oh, yeah? You open it.
104
00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:01,759
Wimp.
105
00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:04,095
Ooh, a dirty magazine.
106
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,804
Mimi,
I'm so disappointed in you.
107
00:05:05,804 --> 00:05:08,808
[rustling]
108
00:05:11,101 --> 00:05:13,270
[sighs]
Crazy Glue
109
00:05:13,270 --> 00:05:16,523
injected into your wet naps
and a dirty magazine.
110
00:05:16,523 --> 00:05:19,152
And it must be my lucky day,
'cause your fly is open.
111
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:23,906
What? My fly isn't open.
112
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:25,033
Yeah?
113
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:32,039
Try to take your hand away.
114
00:05:32,039 --> 00:05:35,043
[telephone ringing]
115
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(Bell on phone)
'Carey, I need the sales
reports. Get in here now.'
116
00:05:41,882 --> 00:05:44,593
Now I know
what your weekends look like.
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00:05:44,593 --> 00:05:45,720
[laughing]
118
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,723
[instrumental music]
119
00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:58,107
I love evaluation time.
120
00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,693
Ass, prepare to be kissed.
121
00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:05,823
Drew, I know everyone's
gonna be sucking up to you today
122
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:08,242
but I'm just gonna be
brutally honest
123
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:11,162
and I know that you're gonna
give me a fair evaluation.
124
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:16,000
First of all, you're losing
way too much weight.
125
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,169
You know, I'd be concerned
about that, too, Kate.
126
00:06:20,295 --> 00:06:22,172
And second of all,
you should be careful
127
00:06:22,172 --> 00:06:24,842
how often you dole out
that 1000-watt smile.
128
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,136
Oh.
129
00:06:28,136 --> 00:06:30,722
How is a gal supposed
to concentrate on her work?
130
00:06:30,722 --> 00:06:34,351
Is that why women turn
their heads when I walk by?
131
00:06:34,351 --> 00:06:38,522
And finally, with no disrespect
to Denzel Washington
132
00:06:38,522 --> 00:06:41,984
you are the sexiest man alive.
133
00:06:44,945 --> 00:06:46,321
- Hey, Kate?
- Yeah?
134
00:06:46,321 --> 00:06:48,366
You did pretty good not cracking
a smile this year.
135
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:54,538
Drew, I was being
totally sincere. Gotta go.
136
00:06:54,538 --> 00:06:55,623
[Kate chuckles]
137
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,627
Working hard, swine-butt?
138
00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:02,212
Hey, you can't touch those.
Those are confidential.
139
00:07:02,212 --> 00:07:04,715
It's okay, don't worry,
I'm not gonna look at them
140
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,049
except the puff piece you wrote
141
00:07:06,049 --> 00:07:09,010
on your little pencil-holder,
Lisa.
142
00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:12,306
Wait a minute,
this is no Valentine.
143
00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:15,601
"Needs to show more maturity
in the managerial area.
144
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:19,396
Occasionally lacks patience.
Stupid and blind."
145
00:07:19,396 --> 00:07:22,275
- I didn't write that.
- She's dating you, isn't she?
146
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,696
Why so mean today?
Run out of Mimi chow?
147
00:07:27,696 --> 00:07:29,531
- Hey, Drew.
- Uh, thanks, Mimi.
148
00:07:29,531 --> 00:07:31,534
I'll take those papers right
to the recycling bin for you.
149
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,035
Yeah, you mean,
these evaluations?
150
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:34,662
Oh, look, here's Lisa's.
151
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,372
- I wonder what it says.
- Oh, hey.
152
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:39,041
Nice try, Mimi, but Lisa
is much too secure in her job
153
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:41,169
to wanna see her evaluation.
Isn't that right, Lisa?
154
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:44,004
Secure? Yes. Curious? Yes.
155
00:07:44,004 --> 00:07:46,465
Wishing I had said yes
last night? Maybe.
156
00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:47,633
[chuckles]
157
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,052
No job's worth that, honey.
158
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,220
[laughs]
159
00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:54,931
You didn't write anything bad,
did you, Drew?
160
00:07:54,931 --> 00:07:57,059
No, in fact,
I remember a little something
161
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,602
about asset to the company.
162
00:07:58,602 --> 00:08:01,022
[laughs]
I'll see you tonight for dinner.
163
00:08:02,522 --> 00:08:03,941
Oh, wait, you know, I can't,
I'm going
164
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,443
clothes shopping with Kate.
165
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,945
Kate wants your advice
on buying clothes?
166
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,489
No, I want hers, we've been
doing it every year since high
167
00:08:10,489 --> 00:08:13,450
school. She even taught me which
side of the gap to shop on.
168
00:08:13,450 --> 00:08:16,578
Oh. Well, that's okay.
Actually, I just remembered.
169
00:08:16,578 --> 00:08:18,914
I'm going shopping
with my friend Antonio tonight.
170
00:08:18,914 --> 00:08:21,209
He wants me to help him
pick out a cup.
171
00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:26,588
- Lisa, she's my best friend.
- Yeah, and I'm your girlfriend.
172
00:08:26,588 --> 00:08:27,840
Well, why does this
have to make you so crazy?
173
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,009
Hey, don't call me crazy.
174
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,802
Oh, honey...
175
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,930
[sighs]
We're-we're both getting
a little upset.
176
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,973
I-I-I think it's time.
177
00:08:37,057 --> 00:08:38,351
Okay.
178
00:08:40,352 --> 00:08:43,564
What I like most
about you is...
179
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:48,694
...your sense of humor
and your sexy voice.
180
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:54,241
And what I like most
about you is
181
00:08:54,241 --> 00:08:57,536
you make me laugh
and you cry at movies.
182
00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,205
[sniffling]
183
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,914
[sobbing]
"That'll do, pig."
184
00:09:00,914 --> 00:09:02,958
[chuckles]
185
00:09:02,958 --> 00:09:04,877
- That's all he said.
- Heh-heh.
186
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,379
"That'll do, pig."
187
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,674
[laughing]
188
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,092
And you knew what he felt.
189
00:09:12,092 --> 00:09:13,886
[laughing]
190
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:18,849
Alright, you just have
a great time with Kate.
191
00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,810
But please remember
192
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:24,104
things go in clearance
for a reason.
193
00:09:24,104 --> 00:09:27,232
Yeah, like I'm gonna buy
yellow spandex pants again
194
00:09:27,232 --> 00:09:29,026
after all those papaya jokes.
195
00:09:31,111 --> 00:09:32,529
Hey, Drew, huh...
196
00:09:32,529 --> 00:09:34,197
I found this basket on my desk
197
00:09:34,197 --> 00:09:36,366
and I'm allergic to muffins.
198
00:09:36,366 --> 00:09:39,119
Oh, you mean, just like you were
last year on evaluation day.
199
00:09:39,119 --> 00:09:43,249
Oh, really? Is today
evaluation day? I didn't know.
200
00:09:44,541 --> 00:09:46,919
I don't know. Let me check.
201
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,631
Anyone have a pen I can borrow?
202
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:53,008
[pens clattering]
203
00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:54,719
Yup, it's today.
204
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,970
Well, uh, anyway,
uh, huh, I figured
205
00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:58,597
you know, you being the greatest
guy in the world and all--
206
00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:00,432
(Mimi)
'Attention, office!'
207
00:10:00,432 --> 00:10:03,852
The evaluations are already
in management's hands.
208
00:10:03,852 --> 00:10:07,607
There's no longer any reason
to bootlick Drew Carey.
209
00:10:10,275 --> 00:10:12,111
Get your chubby little hands
off my basket, Drew.
210
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,362
You said you were allergic.
211
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:15,030
Allergic to chubby hands
on my basket.
212
00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:18,033
[instrumental music]
213
00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:20,202
Drew, come on down.
214
00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,746
(Drew)
'I don't wanna.
The-these pants have a problem.'
215
00:10:22,746 --> 00:10:25,541
Oh, sure, blame the pants.
216
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:28,043
Come on.
How bad could they look?
217
00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:30,587
Well, there was the famous
MC Hammer pants incident.
218
00:10:30,587 --> 00:10:32,506
- 'Hm.'
- Eesh.
219
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:33,674
And, of course,
Drew was the last
220
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:35,176
actual member of members only.
221
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,386
- Yeah.
- Yes.
222
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,263
(Drew)
Okay, I'm coming down.
223
00:10:40,639 --> 00:10:43,059
[laughing]
224
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:45,645
What's wrong? They look great.
225
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:48,230
Yeah, but they wrinkle weird.
226
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,190
What do you mean,
"Wrinkle weird?"
227
00:10:50,190 --> 00:10:54,403
I don't know, they kinda,
you know, they tent.
228
00:10:58,114 --> 00:11:00,242
Oh, come on, I'm sure
you're making a mountain
229
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,161
out of a mole hill.
230
00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:05,414
Come on, have a seat.
231
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,375
[laughter]
232
00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:10,961
Oh, man, and I've seen
pup dance before
233
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:13,296
but that's a three-ring circus.
234
00:11:13,296 --> 00:11:16,007
Wow, is there still snow
on top of it in the summertime?
235
00:11:16,007 --> 00:11:17,676
Whoo!
236
00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:19,344
Look, we have to discuss this
237
00:11:19,344 --> 00:11:21,972
'cause I'm either taking it back
or I'm buying 20 more pairs.
238
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:23,723
[knocking on door]
239
00:11:23,723 --> 00:11:25,058
Who is it?
240
00:11:25,058 --> 00:11:26,685
(Lisa)
'Someone who needs more
maturity'
241
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:28,103
'in the managerial area'
242
00:11:28,103 --> 00:11:30,522
'to be a greater asset
to the company.'
243
00:11:30,522 --> 00:11:32,941
Oh, well,
the big top's coming down.
244
00:11:32,941 --> 00:11:34,193
[door opens]
245
00:11:36,403 --> 00:11:38,155
- Hey guys.
- 'Hey.'
246
00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:40,408
Drew, can I talk to you?
247
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,869
Wanna see what I can do
with my new pants?
248
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,498
Drew, that evaluation you wrote
249
00:11:48,498 --> 00:11:51,001
questions my whole
management technic.
250
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,545
Mm, I don't think so.
Uh, you're exaggerating.
251
00:11:53,545 --> 00:11:56,381
Oh, I exaggerate. Why didn't you
put that in my evaluation?
252
00:11:56,381 --> 00:11:58,717
[scoffs]
There wasn't any room after all
the bad stuff I put in there.
253
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:01,261
[laughing]
254
00:12:01,261 --> 00:12:03,430
Uh...
255
00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:05,099
Just because I'm your
girlfriend, you're worried
256
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,850
that people will think
you're playing favorites.
257
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:08,518
So you're tougher on me.
258
00:12:08,518 --> 00:12:11,814
- Uh, not exactly.
- Not exactly what?
259
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,982
Not exactly.
I-I was being honest.
260
00:12:13,982 --> 00:12:15,651
(Oswald)
'Sit down, Drew.
Show her the trick.'
261
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:19,238
Look, I put some good things
in there, too.
262
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:20,614
But I-I have to be objective.
263
00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:22,449
You know,
I take my job seriously.
264
00:12:22,449 --> 00:12:26,245
Wow, you must really think
I'm bad at my job.
265
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:27,996
And how can you call me
immature?
266
00:12:27,996 --> 00:12:29,707
I wasn't the one
in the bathtub yelling
267
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,375
"Hey, look, it's a Jacuzzi."
268
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:33,419
Shh, shh, shh!
269
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,046
Look, come on, have a seat.
270
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:38,966
The thing I like most
about you is...
271
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:42,552
[scoffs]
I can see
what you like best about me.
272
00:12:42,552 --> 00:12:44,513
- That's it.
- You're not walking out on me.
273
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,348
You're walking out on my pants.
274
00:12:47,891 --> 00:12:49,101
[door shuts]
275
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,186
That is just great.
276
00:12:51,186 --> 00:12:53,939
That's just what
Lisa and I need right now.
277
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,442
How'd she get hold
of her evaluation, anyway?
278
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,943
There's only one person
279
00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,612
diabolical enough
to have done this.
280
00:13:00,612 --> 00:13:02,364
- Mimi.
- Kate.
281
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:07,827
Who do you think it'd be, Kate?
282
00:13:07,827 --> 00:13:09,079
[sniffles]
283
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:14,960
I'm gonna get back at Mimi
in a way she will never forget.
284
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,337
She is gonna rue the day
she ever decided
285
00:13:17,337 --> 00:13:19,423
to mess with Drew Carey.
286
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:22,968
This is my independence day.
287
00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:31,393
Say, Drew, I got a big date
tomorrow night.
288
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:34,605
Do you think
I can borrow your pants?
289
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:37,358
[instrumental music]
290
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,070
I gotta thank you, Chuck,
I could have
291
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,112
never rigged up Mimi's desk
292
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:43,238
like this all by myself.
293
00:13:43,238 --> 00:13:45,073
Hey, careful with that, Drew.
294
00:13:45,073 --> 00:13:48,493
We wouldn't want those
to detonate too soon.
295
00:13:48,493 --> 00:13:49,745
I can't believe you got
all these instructions
296
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:51,121
right off the Internet.
297
00:13:52,580 --> 00:13:54,457
Yeah, you'd be surprised
at what you can
298
00:13:54,457 --> 00:13:56,626
pick up in the teen chat room.
299
00:13:56,626 --> 00:13:58,920
Hey, that reminds me,
I gotta log on
300
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,215
and tell Britney
what happened on "90210."
301
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:05,678
Sorry, Drew. Lisa wouldn't take
any of her gifts.
302
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,596
But she did say
she'd come up and see you.
303
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,515
By the way, if you're
apologizing to somebody
304
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:10,557
you might wanna give 'em
something
305
00:14:10,557 --> 00:14:11,808
better than chorcolates.
306
00:14:11,808 --> 00:14:13,352
What?
307
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,728
They're Belgian chocolates.
308
00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:17,690
No. "Beldan Chorcolates.
309
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,067
Imitation chocolate substitute."
310
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,236
Oh, man, I got it
from the same guy
311
00:14:23,236 --> 00:14:24,571
who sold me my brand-new Folex.
312
00:14:24,571 --> 00:14:25,656
Hey.
313
00:14:26,531 --> 00:14:28,200
Hello, Drew.
314
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,577
Did you wanna talk about
something work-related
315
00:14:30,577 --> 00:14:33,038
or do you wanna give me
a diamond norklace?
316
00:14:36,082 --> 00:14:38,085
[sighs]
Okay.
317
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:41,254
I thought about what you said
and you're right.
318
00:14:41,254 --> 00:14:46,176
Maybe I did overcompensate
just a little on your evaluation
319
00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:49,012
'cause you're my girlfriend.
320
00:14:49,012 --> 00:14:52,265
It's not just that.
It's your job.
321
00:14:52,265 --> 00:14:55,060
I have to know sometimes
you'd put me first.
322
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:58,313
It goes without saying
I'd be there for you. Mm.
323
00:14:58,313 --> 00:15:00,357
Hey, let's take
the rest of the day off.
324
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:03,110
- We'll say we're sick.
- Today?
325
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:05,487
I, I got some pranks
I wanna watch.
326
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:07,739
Ah.
327
00:15:07,739 --> 00:15:10,743
Oh, so now you've got pranks
that are more important than me?
328
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,119
I'm getting back at Mimi
for showing you your evaluation.
329
00:15:13,119 --> 00:15:14,580
She didn't show me
my evaluation.
330
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,957
- Yes, she did.
- No, she didn't.
331
00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:18,249
Don't tell me Mimi didn't
show you your evaluation.
332
00:15:18,249 --> 00:15:20,419
I got trolls about to explode.
333
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:23,671
I walked into
the sales manager's office
334
00:15:23,671 --> 00:15:26,424
asked to see my evaluation
and he showed it to me.
335
00:15:26,424 --> 00:15:28,051
Oh, my God! I gotta get busy.
336
00:15:28,051 --> 00:15:30,637
Honey, won't you, uh
337
00:15:30,637 --> 00:15:32,472
grab your coat
and, uh, go downstairs?
338
00:15:32,472 --> 00:15:33,849
- I'll be just a second.
- Okay.
339
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:36,393
I can't believe
we're doing this.
340
00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:38,353
What I like most about you
is if anything explodes
341
00:15:38,353 --> 00:15:39,980
at least I won't be described
as a loner.
342
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,106
[clears throat]
343
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,733
Mimi, w-what happened to you?
344
00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:46,987
None of your beeswax, pinhead.
345
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,780
I'm trying to show some concern.
346
00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:51,241
Obviously, you injured
one of your hind legs.
347
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:56,288
I hurt my leg
running to get the phone.
348
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:59,499
It turns out my sister's been
rushed into emergency surgery.
349
00:15:59,499 --> 00:16:01,669
She's probably under the knife
right now.
350
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:05,047
Oh. Mimi, I-I'm so sorry.
351
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,299
Now if you don't mind, I'd like
to be alone with my thoughts
352
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,301
until the hospital calls.
353
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,511
Don't go behind your desk.
I mean, uh...
354
00:16:11,511 --> 00:16:13,346
Maybe you should just take
the day off.
355
00:16:13,346 --> 00:16:17,101
I can't. I used up all my sick
days following Kiss on tour.
356
00:16:19,227 --> 00:16:22,689
Well, uh, at least let me get
you a more comfortable chair.
357
00:16:22,689 --> 00:16:24,566
- Hey, you ready, Drew?
- Almost.
358
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:27,361
- Okay, I'll wait.
- No, that's unnecessary.
359
00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:28,946
Look, uh,
it'll only be a second.
360
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:30,990
Why don't you just
go wait down in the car?
361
00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:34,284
Oh, by the way,
I parked in the sun.
362
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:35,702
So you might wanna put
a towel down on the car
363
00:16:35,702 --> 00:16:37,037
before you sit down.
364
00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:39,289
You are so thoughtful.
365
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:41,583
[telephone ringing]
I got that!
366
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:42,960
[crackling]
367
00:16:46,254 --> 00:16:48,507
Hello? It's for you.
368
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,592
Of course it's for me.
It's my phone.
369
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:53,804
Keep your hands off my crap.
370
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:56,723
Oh. Hi, mom. Yeah,
I took her to the hospital.
371
00:16:56,723 --> 00:16:59,350
They're gonna do it right away.
Okay, bye.
372
00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:02,980
Touch one more thing, and you're
gonna know how a popsicle feels.
373
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,693
Um, I was just taking
your trolls over to my desk
374
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,236
'cause I'm gonna take
the day off
375
00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:12,530
and I thought you might
like to sit closer to the sun
376
00:17:12,530 --> 00:17:16,785
because you're
such a beautiful flower.
377
00:17:18,953 --> 00:17:20,955
No way, Drew. I know you.
378
00:17:20,955 --> 00:17:23,542
You probably got that rigged
or something.
379
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,502
Uh, don't hurt yourself
bending over. Let me get that.
380
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,546
Hey, Mimi, have you got a pen
I could borrow?
381
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,130
- Oh, sure.
- Uh, no. Not that one.
382
00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:31,841
It's empty.
Fifty thousand, forty thousand...
383
00:17:31,841 --> 00:17:33,218
[explosion]
384
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,178
[telephone ringing]
I got it.
385
00:17:35,178 --> 00:17:36,597
[crackling]
386
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,102
I'm starting to like this.
387
00:17:44,312 --> 00:17:45,439
Hello?
388
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:48,566
No, you idiot. Wrong number.
389
00:17:48,566 --> 00:17:51,278
Hey, by the way, uh, Henderson
told me about your sister.
390
00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:53,279
Is there anything
we could do for you?
391
00:17:53,279 --> 00:17:57,075
Well, a little prayer
wouldn't hurt.
392
00:17:57,075 --> 00:18:01,246
Insult man. Insult man
for Mimi Bobeck from Drew Carey.
393
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:02,831
Oh, my God. I forgot.
394
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,375
Hey, Drew.
Oh, you gotta be Mimi.
395
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,043
That photo you sent me
was black and white.
396
00:18:07,043 --> 00:18:10,297
But are those your eyelids
or two monkeys bending over?
397
00:18:12,590 --> 00:18:14,176
Oh, look, pal,
I think that's enough, okay?
398
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,970
Hey, hey, what, did the trailer
park cancel the dance?
399
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:18,805
[telephone ringing]
400
00:18:18,805 --> 00:18:21,140
[crackling]
401
00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:23,519
Goodnight, everybody.
Drive safely.
402
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,773
Look, everybody,
I, I-I made a bad choice.
403
00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:31,652
I scheduled all this stuff
yesterday to get back at Mimi
404
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:35,154
for something that turns out
she didn't even do.
405
00:18:35,154 --> 00:18:39,450
It's okay, Drew. It's just that
on this day of all days...
406
00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:41,286
[sobbing]
407
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:44,289
Drew, are you ever gonna stop
tormenting this poor woman?
408
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:48,460
Yes, absolutely. I am done.
409
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:49,961
[explosions]
410
00:18:49,961 --> 00:18:51,129
Oh, no...
411
00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:53,757
[sobbing]
412
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:56,385
- No...
- Okay, uh, now I'm done.
413
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,845
[Mimi sobbing]
414
00:18:58,845 --> 00:19:00,222
Mimi, I am so sorry.
415
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,807
Is there, uh, anything
I could do
416
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,016
to make it up to you?
417
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,185
[sobbing]
Well, you-you
418
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,978
could work for me today.
419
00:19:06,978 --> 00:19:09,731
Sure, anything you want.
Just-just stop crying, okay?
420
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:12,568
[sobbing]
421
00:19:14,652 --> 00:19:16,155
[chuckling]
422
00:19:17,780 --> 00:19:20,658
Oh, by the way,
the hard drive crashed
423
00:19:20,658 --> 00:19:23,787
and I have to re-enter
everybody's everything.
424
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,956
- What?
- Ha-ha-ha!
425
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,749
Oh, yeah, but cheer up.
426
00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:30,585
My sister's in the hospital,
but it's just for liposuction.
427
00:19:30,585 --> 00:19:32,504
[laughing]
428
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:35,841
You made me pray
for your sister's liposuction?
429
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:39,052
And light a candle, 'cause
I'm going to get a pedicure.
430
00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:40,846
[laughing]
431
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,931
[instrumental music]
432
00:19:44,807 --> 00:19:47,644
Sorry, Drew, but you've got
to wake up. You could lose Lisa.
433
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:50,313
You left her in a car
and forgot all about her.
434
00:19:50,313 --> 00:19:51,648
Yeah, look, I know I messed up.
435
00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:52,858
But you know how hard
I am working
436
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,567
to make this relationship work.
437
00:19:54,567 --> 00:19:57,237
I just wish I knew if Lisa and I
were meant for each other.
438
00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:59,197
But there's no way to know.
439
00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:00,907
I mean, h-how does anybody know
what's gonna happen
440
00:20:00,907 --> 00:20:01,950
in, like, 20 years?
441
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,076
I know.
442
00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:04,244
In 20 years there'll be, uh
443
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:05,704
no cars, no money
444
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,748
and sex will be with machines.
445
00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:12,753
So, in other words, for you
almost nothing will change.
446
00:20:15,254 --> 00:20:18,050
Look, you know, I'll be okay.
I'll just sleep on it tonight.
447
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,259
By tomorrow
I'll know what to do.
448
00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:21,261
[knocking on door]
449
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:24,306
Oh. I don't think she's gonna
wait outside till tomorrow.
450
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:26,266
What do you mean?
She's here? Now?
451
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,102
Oh. Do you want us to stay?
452
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,896
- Yeah, we'll stay.
- That's what friends are for.
453
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:31,938
[indistinct chatter]
454
00:20:31,938 --> 00:20:33,189
Meet us, you know, we'll meet
455
00:20:33,189 --> 00:20:34,399
you over there.
456
00:20:38,778 --> 00:20:40,363
[door opens]
457
00:20:40,363 --> 00:20:42,907
Hey.
458
00:20:42,907 --> 00:20:45,952
Oh, Lisa, that's so nice of you.
You didn't have to do that.
459
00:20:45,952 --> 00:20:46,995
You didn't have to bring me
all the stuff
460
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,622
I left over at your house.
461
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:53,043
Well, I-I thought you might want
these things back.
462
00:20:55,461 --> 00:20:56,921
[sighs]
Well, look
463
00:20:56,921 --> 00:20:58,965
just let me start by apologi--
464
00:20:58,965 --> 00:21:02,218
Drew, Drew,
it's not about that.
465
00:21:02,218 --> 00:21:05,472
It's about, well, everything.
466
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:09,142
I guess there's only one thing
left to do.
467
00:21:14,272 --> 00:21:15,607
Move in together.
468
00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:20,279
What?
469
00:21:21,696 --> 00:21:24,365
I think we should move in
together.
470
00:21:24,365 --> 00:21:26,701
You know, let's, I mean,
our biggest problem is
471
00:21:26,701 --> 00:21:28,912
we just don't see enough
of each other.
472
00:21:28,912 --> 00:21:30,747
This way we'll see each other
all the time. Yeah. See?
473
00:21:30,747 --> 00:21:33,083
- It'll-it'll be perfect.
- We'll have to get along.
474
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:34,625
Get along? Hell,
we'll have to love each other.
475
00:21:34,625 --> 00:21:35,752
Why didn't we think of this
before?
476
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:37,129
We've been too busy fighting.
477
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,339
Oh, this is gonna be great!
478
00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:41,091
- Let's celebrate.
- Yeah.
479
00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:46,263
Drew, the bedroom.
480
00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:48,014
Oh, yeah. Even better.
481
00:21:48,014 --> 00:21:51,018
[instrumental music]
482
00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:58,191
[intense music]
483
00:22:03,988 --> 00:22:05,157
[spray hissing]
484
00:22:11,454 --> 00:22:12,706
[door opens]
485
00:22:14,874 --> 00:22:17,961
You will self-destruct
in five seconds.
486
00:22:17,961 --> 00:22:19,921
Oswald, get me up. Lewis.
487
00:22:19,921 --> 00:22:21,048
[instrumental music]
488
00:22:22,048 --> 00:22:24,468
[instrumental music]
33901
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