Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:04:28,153 --> 00:04:29,524
Hi, folks.
2
00:04:29,597 --> 00:04:31,228
My name is Dave Starr.
3
00:04:31,403 --> 00:04:33,411
You know I feel miserable
this afternoon.
4
00:04:33,575 --> 00:04:35,080
Last night I dream I was
locked up in a room
5
00:04:35,245 --> 00:04:37,861
with a thousand beautiful blondes
and a thousand beautiful brunettes.
6
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,986
Then I dream I was a woman.
7
00:04:41,139 --> 00:04:43,673
But I want you to know I come
from a very honest family.
8
00:04:44,172 --> 00:04:46,310
Everybody in my family is
honest except my brother.
9
00:04:46,615 --> 00:04:49,314
He's so honest he finds things
before they're lost.
10
00:04:49,538 --> 00:04:51,981
He was up the river so many
times they call him Showboat.
11
00:04:52,366 --> 00:04:56,393
In fact he did 30 days so often
they decided to name a month after him.
12
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:59,354
My brother.
He studied for a doctor once.
13
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,667
The doctor was too busy
to study for himself.
14
00:05:01,733 --> 00:05:03,994
Then my brother became an M.D.
a mental deficient.
15
00:05:05,012 --> 00:05:07,104
What a doctor he was?
16
00:05:07,213 --> 00:05:11,078
He treated a guy five years for
yellow jaundice before he found
out the guy was a Chinaman.
17
00:05:12,115 --> 00:05:16,142
Well he finally took his
license away because he
committed an illegal operation.
18
00:05:16,223 --> 00:05:18,689
He opened up a guy's head
with a beer bottle.
19
00:05:19,116 --> 00:05:22,367
- Dave, stop!
- Joey! Joey Ross.
20
00:05:22,413 --> 00:05:24,211
Hey Joey, stop!
- How you been?
21
00:05:24,295 --> 00:05:25,639
- Well, wait a minute.
Come on,
22
00:05:25,691 --> 00:05:27,382
hurry up and do that song of yours
or we'll get out of here.
23
00:05:27,419 --> 00:05:29,843
- Oh no, I'm sorry.
I can't do that song today.
I got a headache.
24
00:05:29,874 --> 00:05:31,341
- You got a headache?
- Uh-huh.
25
00:05:31,391 --> 00:05:33,398
- Well, man, why don't you
do what I do when I get a headache?
26
00:05:33,446 --> 00:05:34,580
- Why? What do you do?
27
00:05:34,632 --> 00:05:36,658
- Well, I go home.
I take my wife.
She lies down on the sofa.
28
00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:37,401
- Uh-huh.
29
00:05:37,439 --> 00:05:38,527
- I lie down alongside of her.
30
00:05:38,565 --> 00:05:39,227
- Uh-huh.
31
00:05:39,264 --> 00:05:41,171
- I rest my head on her
shoulder just like this.
32
00:05:41,204 --> 00:05:42,013
- Oh, yes.
33
00:05:42,049 --> 00:05:43,354
- She kisses me a few times.
34
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:44,022
- Uh-huh.
35
00:05:44,048 --> 00:05:46,059
- And my headache disappears
just like magic.
36
00:05:46,098 --> 00:05:48,137
- Why don't you try it sometime?
37
00:05:48,298 --> 00:05:49,597
- Gee, I think I will.
38
00:05:49,763 --> 00:05:51,695
Uh, what time will your wife be home?
39
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,287
- Oh, come on. You never should.
40
00:22:24,734 --> 00:22:26,761
- Hi honey.
- Hi, how are you??
41
00:22:26,802 --> 00:22:27,998
- Oh, trouble with my husband again.
42
00:22:28,163 --> 00:22:32,526
He's so cheap, if he doesn't
give me some money to buy some
new clothes, I'm just gonna leave him.
43
00:22:32,582 --> 00:22:36,611
- Your husband? Why, my husband's
the cheapest thing on two feet.
44
00:22:36,784 --> 00:22:40,347
- But I've got a plan.
If he doesn't give me any money today,
45
00:22:40,422 --> 00:22:43,850
I think I'm gonna walk right
past the pool room without
a stitch of clothing on.
46
00:22:43,942 --> 00:22:45,804
- You know, that sounds like
a good idea.
47
00:22:45,863 --> 00:22:48,914
I've got news if it works for you,
I'm gonna do the exact same thing.
48
00:22:49,003 --> 00:22:51,262
- Here he comes now.
49
00:22:51,496 --> 00:22:53,404
- Hello, baby darling!
50
00:22:53,461 --> 00:22:55,988
- Don't you call me "baby darling",
you, cheap thing.
51
00:22:56,038 --> 00:22:58,188
- Honey, why should you say I'm cheap?
52
00:22:58,234 --> 00:23:01,197
I just happen to have an
impediment in my reach, money.
53
00:23:01,234 --> 00:23:03,497
That's the last thing I think
about before going to bed every night.
54
00:23:03,869 --> 00:23:05,664
- Well, I've got news for you.
55
00:23:05,723 --> 00:23:08,561
If you don't give me some money
right now to buy some new clothes,
56
00:23:08,598 --> 00:23:10,739
I'm gonna walk right past the
pool room without a stitch of clothing on.
57
00:23:10,776 --> 00:23:12,859
- Honey, you mean to tell me
that you'd walk right past the pool room?
58
00:23:12,908 --> 00:23:16,122
- I would...
- Without a stitch? Are you
shaming me in front of all my friends?
59
00:23:16,157 --> 00:23:17,132
- I would...
60
00:23:17,169 --> 00:23:19,874
- Well, I just happen to have
a few bucks with me, honey.
61
00:23:20,060 --> 00:23:23,783
So, let me see, all right.
I just cashed my relief check, see?
62
00:23:23,972 --> 00:23:26,791
$1,000, $2,000, $3,000...
what's this $5 doing here, see?
63
00:23:27,486 --> 00:23:29,488
Now, what do you do with my loot?
64
00:23:29,716 --> 00:23:32,007
She took it...
Well, how about
65
00:23:32,055 --> 00:23:34,129
giving me a kiss now to seal
the bargain?
66
00:23:35,655 --> 00:23:37,211
You call that a kiss?
67
00:23:37,264 --> 00:23:39,383
- You call yourself a bargain?
68
00:23:39,425 --> 00:23:40,821
- How do you like a thing like that?
69
00:23:41,669 --> 00:23:43,416
- I told you - pay off.
70
00:23:43,753 --> 00:23:48,582
- Oh, boy, do I get my husband now.
71
00:23:48,641 --> 00:23:50,134
- Hey, hello, doll. How are you?
72
00:23:50,396 --> 00:23:52,067
- You're late!
73
00:23:52,102 --> 00:23:54,313
- I'm sorry I'm late.
I had an automobile accident.
74
00:23:54,998 --> 00:23:56,392
- An automobile accident?
75
00:23:56,428 --> 00:23:58,385
- Yeah, I fell out of the patrol wagon.
76
00:23:58,454 --> 00:24:02,072
- Oh, stop those bum jokes,
you cheapskate, you.
77
00:24:02,134 --> 00:24:04,096
- Oh, don't call me a cheapskate.
I'm not cheap.
78
00:24:04,132 --> 00:24:06,337
You know, I go out.
That's one thing about me.
79
00:24:06,420 --> 00:24:10,058
I don't care what I do with
my money as long as I don't spend it.
80
00:24:10,234 --> 00:24:11,542
- Oh, yeah?
81
00:24:11,773 --> 00:24:13,892
- And you know what I'm
really doing, see?
82
00:24:13,975 --> 00:24:16,409
I put away enough money for a rainy day.
83
00:24:16,577 --> 00:24:18,693
- Oh, yeah? Well, how much
have you saved?
84
00:24:18,813 --> 00:24:22,869
- Well, I'll tell you the truth.
Ever raised two days in a row.
I'm broke.
85
00:24:23,081 --> 00:24:28,764
- Broke? You're not broke.
You just don't want to give me
any money to spend on clothes.
86
00:24:28,803 --> 00:24:30,851
That's all. Why, you know that
if you don't give me any money,
87
00:24:30,949 --> 00:24:37,196
why, I'm going to go past that
pool room where all your friends
seem to congregate and walk there undressed.
88
00:24:38,587 --> 00:24:41,133
- You're going to walk by the
pool in front of all my friends undressed?
89
00:24:41,178 --> 00:24:41,811
- That's right.
90
00:24:41,894 --> 00:24:43,817
- Is that what you're going
to do in front of all my friends?
91
00:24:43,888 --> 00:24:45,062
- Certainly.
92
00:24:45,114 --> 00:24:47,075
- Well, when you pass the post office,
93
00:24:47,193 --> 00:24:49,680
here, mail this letter.
94
00:35:54,162 --> 00:35:55,507
I'm. Here I am once again, folks.
95
00:35:55,639 --> 00:35:57,589
- Hey, Dave,
how you been?
96
00:35:57,824 --> 00:35:59,621
- Hey, Joe, where you been?
I've been looking for you.
97
00:35:59,712 --> 00:36:00,847
- I've been in Paris.
98
00:36:00,886 --> 00:36:01,834
- You've been in Paris?
99
00:36:01,887 --> 00:36:03,664
- Oh, land of romance!
100
00:36:03,713 --> 00:36:06,275
- If a man has three girls,
he's called an orchid.
101
00:36:06,314 --> 00:36:07,392
- In Paris?
- That's right.
102
00:36:07,486 --> 00:36:10,311
- And if he walks down the street
with two girls, he's called a daisy.
103
00:36:10,704 --> 00:36:11,797
- A daisy?
- Uh-huh.
104
00:36:11,849 --> 00:36:15,418
- And if he walks down the street
with one girl, he's called a rose.
105
00:36:15,468 --> 00:36:16,164
- A rose.
106
00:36:16,370 --> 00:36:18,385
- Say, how do you rate?
107
00:36:18,570 --> 00:36:21,559
- Shake hands with a stinkweed.
- Stinkweed?
108
00:36:21,607 --> 00:36:24,344
- Yeah, I don't understand.
What do you have to do to get
a girl around here?
109
00:36:24,387 --> 00:36:26,711
I can't get myself arrested
if I can't get a girl.
110
00:36:26,779 --> 00:36:30,034
- Well, I'm surprised.
I understand that there's eight
girls to every fellow in this neighborhood.
111
00:36:30,087 --> 00:36:32,110
- Well, then I got news for you.
112
00:36:32,153 --> 00:36:34,997
Gee, there must be somebody
running around here with 16,
because I ain't even got one.
113
00:36:35,257 --> 00:36:38,246
- Well, around here, you
gotta have it.
- Well, I got that.
114
00:36:38,293 --> 00:36:39,354
- What's that?
- That's it.
115
00:36:39,802 --> 00:36:41,388
- Well, you came to the right party.
- Yeah?
116
00:36:41,429 --> 00:36:44,215
- You see, I have a certain
magic perfume that goes all
the way from Paris.
117
00:36:44,266 --> 00:36:45,570
- Magic perfume?
- That's right.
118
00:36:45,611 --> 00:36:46,956
I put it on this handkerchief.
119
00:36:46,985 --> 00:36:49,484
Now, all I have to do is waft
this handkerchief under your
lady's nose.
120
00:36:49,531 --> 00:36:50,963
- You waft it under?
- That's right.
121
00:36:51,042 --> 00:36:54,879
Say a few magic words in french,
and the girl immediately will
fall in love with you.
122
00:36:55,081 --> 00:36:56,957
- Aw, Joe, you're joshing me.
You know that.
123
00:36:57,402 --> 00:36:59,335
You know, I don't believe that.
No, I never believe that.
124
00:36:59,380 --> 00:37:02,308
- Well, here comes young lady now.
A young lady's coming along
125
00:37:02,343 --> 00:37:04,657
and I'll show you that this works.
How about that?
126
00:37:04,703 --> 00:37:06,881
Isn't she cute?
- Yeah, that's nice.
127
00:37:06,945 --> 00:37:08,173
- I'll show you how this works.
128
00:37:08,959 --> 00:37:12,174
- Boy, what a wonderful perfume!
129
00:37:12,286 --> 00:37:16,280
[speaks french]
130
00:37:16,541 --> 00:37:17,656
- Love me.
131
00:37:18,623 --> 00:37:19,987
- Hey, give me that handkerchief!
132
00:37:20,042 --> 00:37:21,298
- Give it to you?
I'll sell it to you.
133
00:37:21,344 --> 00:37:22,479
- You sell it to me? How much?
134
00:37:22,522 --> 00:37:23,452
- $50.
135
00:37:23,498 --> 00:37:25,467
- $50? That's a lot of money
to blow in.
136
00:37:25,704 --> 00:37:26,718
I'll give you a buck.
137
00:37:26,769 --> 00:37:27,543
- I'll take it.
138
00:37:27,987 --> 00:37:30,268
- You take it. Give me.
I'll owe you a buck.
139
00:37:30,347 --> 00:37:32,528
All right. Now, all I got
to do is waft it under her.
- That's right.
140
00:37:32,614 --> 00:37:36,469
- A rhyming shammy -
ickle, mickle, pickle.
141
00:37:37,083 --> 00:37:43,016
- Oh, I want you to make my
spine tingle. Make me feel good.
142
00:37:43,104 --> 00:37:46,157
Make me feel great all over.
143
00:37:46,275 --> 00:37:48,294
- Lady, you don't want a man.
What you need is a masseur.
144
00:37:48,342 --> 00:37:51,191
- How about that?
- Yeah, you do it all right.
Keep going.
145
00:37:52,337 --> 00:37:57,380
- Uh, uh, tubes, oranges,
la coulis de pot....
Uh, uh, and a stone jagged!
146
00:38:02,194 --> 00:38:08,031
Pancakes, smells?
Who needs them? I got my own orders.
Hey!
147
00:58:53,912 --> 00:58:55,068
Hello, folks.
148
00:58:55,115 --> 00:58:57,097
You know, I went to the track
this afternoon.
149
00:58:57,268 --> 00:59:00,889
I took my wife with me.
She's one of the best negs I know.
150
00:59:01,021 --> 00:59:03,275
I don't want to say my wife
is exactly fat.
151
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,652
Well, I know she bent over
to tie her shoelaces,
152
00:59:05,699 --> 00:59:07,298
and somebody threw a saddle over.
153
00:59:07,493 --> 00:59:09,313
What happened... What happened...
154
00:59:09,387 --> 00:59:11,651
She came in second and paid 680$.
155
00:59:11,709 --> 00:59:13,911
You know, marriage is like a warm bath,
156
00:59:13,986 --> 00:59:15,883
once you get used to it,
it's not so hot.
157
00:59:16,003 --> 00:59:19,124
How you take my wife, please?
158
00:59:19,165 --> 00:59:21,457
You know, I got married but
better or for worse...
159
00:59:21,504 --> 00:59:23,619
I couldn't do any better
and she couldn't do any worse
160
00:59:24,461 --> 00:59:25,889
and she was worse than I took
her for all,
161
00:59:26,027 --> 00:59:28,775
I accepted from her father
was a 12-room house,
162
00:59:28,839 --> 00:59:33,327
I got a kind of convertible
and 51% of his business.
163
00:59:33,391 --> 00:59:34,952
After that I was on my own.
164
00:59:35,451 --> 00:59:37,652
Well, I gotta go now, folks.
165
00:59:37,713 --> 00:59:39,905
You see, it's the kiddies
night off to go to the movies,
166
00:59:39,984 --> 00:59:42,155
So I gotta go home line to me.
I'll see you later.
167
01:06:45,578 --> 01:06:55,100
Prepared specifically for
Pornolab.net
14247
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof