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1
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Anybody hungry?
2
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Bangle girl!
3
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Good morning, Toby, butter bro.
4
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I have a buttered roll every day.
5
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I'm in the mood for something different.
6
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Oh, you know what I'm in the mood for?
7
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You know, one of those
things, they're about this long.
8
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A curler.
9
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No, no, no.
10
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It's like one of those things,
you know, they're kind of sweet
11
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and it has some kind of cheese.
12
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A cheese Danish?
13
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No, no, it's Italian.
14
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You know, you get them at
the Saint Gennaro Festival,
15
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you know, and they come like a tube.
16
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A cannoli.
17
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Yeah, that's it.
18
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A cannoli, that's what I want.
19
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I don't have any cannolis.
20
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I have a buttered roll then.
21
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:02,000
Good morning, Mr. Tupper.
22
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Would you like anything for breakfast?
23
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Oh, uh, what do you recommend?
24
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Well, we've got bagels
or muffins or I've got these.
25
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Wait, wait, uh, hello, Toby.
26
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Time to make the donut.
27
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Come on, come on, not here.
28
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Why?
29
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Would it be a problem if people
knew you were doing the bagel girl?
30
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I'm sorry, you're just so cute.
31
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Sweet are the
compliments from a pretty
32
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young girl in the
ears of an old man .
33
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Look, tonight after work we
can make all the donuts you want.
34
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I can't.
35
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I have to study for my
comparative lit midterm.
36
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Midterm?
37
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Right.
38
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Uh, well, I majored in English.
39
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You know, if you want,
I can help you study.
40
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As in any average city, the older
generation believes in educating the
41
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younger generation.
42
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All right, let's talk about the
theme of redemption in Henry Miller.
43
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Forget Henry Miller.
44
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You sure you shouldn't be studying?
45
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I'm taking the course of his, ma'am.
46
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No matter.
47
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I'm interested in your physical
prowess, not your brain.
48
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Come on!
49
00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:31,000
It's stuck, Stu, but you think you
could do better, you give it a try.
50
00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:35,000
Thank you.
51
00:03:41,001 --> 00:03:45,000
Maybe I should go get a red and white.
52
00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:46,000
School colors.
53
00:03:46,001 --> 00:03:49,000
They were given white at the student union.
54
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Let me have your attention class, please.
55
00:03:52,001 --> 00:03:53,000
This is the assignment for tomorrow.
56
00:03:53,001 --> 00:03:55,000
Please copy it in your notebooks.
57
00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:08,000
Say, you're a little advanced,
you're listening, Pop.
58
00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:10,000
Well, I've been studying
a little on the side.
59
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:26,000
This looks like an ordinary
piece of toast, and it is,
60
00:04:26,001 --> 00:04:31,000
except that it and everything else
here is made with atomic electricity.
61
00:04:39,001 --> 00:04:40,000
You're gonna love you, huh?
62
00:04:40,001 --> 00:04:42,000
Oh, why not?
You kiss like a vacuum cleaner.
63
00:04:42,001 --> 00:04:45,000
I think I had my first multiple, I guess.
64
00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:48,000
Although I'm not totally sure how you tell.
65
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You're asking the wrong person.
66
00:04:50,001 --> 00:04:52,000
I have mine one at a time.
67
00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:02,000
Class dismissed.
68
00:05:12,001 --> 00:05:15,000
Dad, left the chain on.
69
00:05:15,001 --> 00:05:17,000
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Quick, quick, quick, quick.
70
00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:19,000
Get dressed. Get dressed. It's my son.
71
00:05:22,001 --> 00:05:25,000
What's going on?
72
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Oh.
73
00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:27,000
Are you okay?
74
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Oh, my legs are asleep.
75
00:05:29,001 --> 00:05:31,000
Oh, oh, oh.
76
00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:34,000
Dad? Dad, what's going on?
77
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:37,000
Crazy, ladies. Martin.
78
00:05:37,001 --> 00:05:39,000
Martin, is everything all right?
79
00:05:39,001 --> 00:05:42,000
Oh, fuck. It's my ex-wife.
80
00:05:42,001 --> 00:05:46,000
Uh, uh, hold on.
I just, just get out of the shower.
81
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Coming.
82
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:52,000
Oh.
83
00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:55,000
Ow.
84
00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:57,000
Hi.
85
00:05:57,001 --> 00:05:59,000
You okay?
86
00:05:59,001 --> 00:06:00,000
Yeah.
87
00:06:00,001 --> 00:06:01,000
Hi.
88
00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:02,000
Hi.
89
00:06:02,001 --> 00:06:03,000
Hi.
90
00:06:03,001 --> 00:06:10,000
Uh, Judith, Jeremy, this is
my, I don't know, friend, Julie.
91
00:06:10,001 --> 00:06:12,000
Oh my God. You go to Wagner?
92
00:06:12,001 --> 00:06:13,000
Uh-huh.
93
00:06:13,001 --> 00:06:16,000
You're kidding. I went to Wagner.
Who are your teachers?
94
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:18,000
Well, let's see.
I have Herman for social studies.
95
00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:19,000
Peter for music.
96
00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:22,000
Peter. Oh my God. He's horrible.
97
00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:23,000
Do you like video games?
98
00:06:23,001 --> 00:06:24,000
I just got environment.
99
00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:26,000
Look, Jeremy, I don't
do-- Oh, graphics.
100
00:06:26,001 --> 00:06:28,000
Oh, that's awesome. 16-bit.
Come on. You got to sit.
101
00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:34,000
Well, she seems perky.
102
00:06:34,001 --> 00:06:36,000
Does she?
103
00:06:36,001 --> 00:06:38,000
Martin, what are you doing?
104
00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:40,000
I'm maybe sitting right now.
105
00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:41,000
What do you mean?
106
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,000
How old is she?
107
00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:44,000
She's in her 20s.
108
00:06:44,001 --> 00:06:46,000
Oh, really? How far in?
109
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Just three weeks.
110
00:06:48,001 --> 00:06:52,000
She'll be 28. Eventually.
111
00:06:52,001 --> 00:06:55,000
Martin, don't get me wrong.
I find all of this very interesting.
112
00:06:55,001 --> 00:07:00,000
Professionally. I mean, it's sort of
a Lolita fixation, electric complex.
113
00:07:00,001 --> 00:07:02,000
Peter Pan syndrome all rolled into one.
114
00:07:02,001 --> 00:07:05,000
Look, she's young. Okay, she's very young.
115
00:07:05,001 --> 00:07:08,000
You know, but she's smart and funny,
and I know it's not going anywhere,
116
00:07:08,001 --> 00:07:11,000
but we're just having fun.
117
00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:14,000
Well, I think it's great,
as long as you're happy.
118
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,846
Listen, do you think
that I could borrow
119
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this relationship for a
post doctoral paper?
120
00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:22,000
Don't worry.
I won't use your name or anything.
121
00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:25,000
I just... think of that.
122
00:07:25,001 --> 00:07:28,000
The good lord had wanted
women to be doctors.
123
00:07:28,001 --> 00:07:31,000
He would have fixed it
so men could have babies.
124
00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:39,000
This is your mom's apartment, isn't it?
125
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,000
Or are we just stealing the stuff?
126
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,000
You sure you're okay with that?
127
00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:44,000
No. No problem.
128
00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:46,000
My aching back.
129
00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:48,000
She's got to get a better grip.
130
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,000
Hmm.
131
00:07:50,001 --> 00:07:54,000
Oh, oh.
132
00:07:54,001 --> 00:07:57,000
You know, maybe we
shouldn't, you know, hear.
133
00:07:57,001 --> 00:08:01,000
Why?
Are you afraid we're going to get grounded?
134
00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:08,000
What are you doing here?
135
00:08:08,001 --> 00:08:09,000
I live here?
136
00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:11,000
Oh, this is apartment two, isn't it?
137
00:08:11,001 --> 00:08:13,000
Oh, yes, it is.
138
00:08:13,001 --> 00:08:14,000
Who are you?
139
00:08:14,001 --> 00:08:16,000
Very funny, mother.
140
00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:18,000
Mother.
141
00:08:18,001 --> 00:08:20,000
Oh.
142
00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:22,000
And who is this older
gentleman who's not your father?
143
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:26,000
Uh, hi. I'm, uh, I'm Martin Dopper.
144
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Martin, this is my mother.
145
00:08:29,001 --> 00:08:33,000
Fantastic.
146
00:08:33,001 --> 00:08:35,000
It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Gower.
147
00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:37,000
Martin's my new boyfriend.
148
00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:39,000
Oh, I see.
149
00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:41,000
What happened to the
skinhead with the swastika tattoo?
150
00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:43,000
Would you say you're a woman?
151
00:08:43,001 --> 00:08:45,000
I'm a woman.
152
00:08:45,001 --> 00:08:48,000
What happened to the
skinhead with the swastika tattoo?
153
00:08:48,001 --> 00:08:50,000
Would you stop calling it a swastika?
It was an X.
154
00:08:50,001 --> 00:08:53,000
And we broke up, like, a month ago.
155
00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:56,000
Why did he violate his parole?
156
00:08:56,001 --> 00:08:58,000
You see, we have this little game.
It's called "Shawth Mom."
157
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You win again.
158
00:09:00,001 --> 00:09:02,000
Excuse me. I have some things to put away.
159
00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:04,000
Here, let me get a hand with those.
160
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,000
I think you have your hands full already.
161
00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:08,000
Can I get your kids anything to drink?
Some Tang, maybe?
162
00:09:08,001 --> 00:09:10,000
Great. Great. Do you have any crazy straws?
163
00:09:10,001 --> 00:09:13,000
No, no. I like this one.
He's got a sense of humor.
164
00:09:13,001 --> 00:09:16,000
Excuse me. So, where did your kids meet?
165
00:09:16,001 --> 00:09:18,000
Want some ice cream, Judy?
166
00:09:18,001 --> 00:09:20,000
We met at work, actually.
167
00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:23,000
Really? You sell bagels?
168
00:09:23,001 --> 00:09:26,000
Tell me about yourself, Martin.
169
00:09:26,001 --> 00:09:30,000
Me? Mother, father dead, live
alone, 27 years old, unmarried,
170
00:09:30,001 --> 00:09:32,000
die toolmaker, well-paid.
171
00:09:32,001 --> 00:09:34,000
Worked out at the YMCA twice a week.
172
00:09:34,001 --> 00:09:36,000
Wish I was a carnival acrobat.
173
00:09:36,001 --> 00:09:39,000
I'm a book editor in a
white stone publishing.
174
00:09:39,001 --> 00:09:42,000
Oh, I know it.
Does Linda Perry still work there?
175
00:09:42,001 --> 00:09:45,000
Yes. She does.
She's right down the hall from me.
176
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,000
I see her every day. I love Linda.
How do you know her?
177
00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:50,014
I'm suing her. I
catered a party for her
178
00:09:50,026 --> 00:09:52,000
in March, and she
still hasn't paid me.
179
00:09:52,001 --> 00:09:54,000
I'll tell her you say hello.
180
00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:56,000
If you're through embarrassing
me, I think we'll go now.
181
00:09:56,001 --> 00:09:57,000
Ready, Martin?
182
00:09:57,001 --> 00:09:59,000
What if I decide to stay?
183
00:09:59,001 --> 00:10:02,000
Yeah. Okay.
Maybe I'll see you around sometime, huh?
184
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,000
Sure.
Maybe next time I'll get to meet your mom.
185
00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:06,000
Great. We can all go to the zoo.
186
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:08,000
Okay. Time to go. Bye, Mom.
187
00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:10,000
Don't forget to buckle up.
188
00:10:10,001 --> 00:10:12,000
I'll have her home by 11.
189
00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:16,000
They're our mothers.
190
00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:18,000
They're in there, our mothers.
191
00:10:18,001 --> 00:10:23,000
Gina, you're wrong.
192
00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:25,000
You shut up.
193
00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:27,000
How much you want to bet?
194
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,000
Make it 20. You're on.
195
00:10:29,001 --> 00:10:31,000
Excuse me, Toby.
196
00:10:31,001 --> 00:10:33,000
Wait a second. I'll ask Martin.
197
00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:36,000
Who was the taller guy? Stosky or Hutch?
198
00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:37,000
Hutch.
199
00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:39,000
See? I told you.
200
00:10:39,001 --> 00:10:41,000
He is not stupid.
201
00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:44,000
You owe me 20 bucks. I'll call you later.
202
00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:47,000
What do you want?
Can't you see I'm busy here?
203
00:10:47,001 --> 00:10:51,000
You know, Toby, I'm done for the
night, so, uh... You're free to leave.
204
00:10:51,001 --> 00:10:53,000
Well, thank you, Master.
205
00:10:53,001 --> 00:10:55,000
Someday I'll repay you for my freedom.
206
00:10:56,001 --> 00:11:02,000
Look... You've put in one heck
of a day, and I think it's just gone.
207
00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:03,000
Go, go, go, go.
208
00:11:03,001 --> 00:11:06,000
Martin, why should I go
home and run up my phone bill
209
00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:08,000
when I can stay here, make calls for free,
210
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,000
and get paid overtime?
Where's your business sense?
211
00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:15,000
Now, look... Oh, hi. Hello.
212
00:11:15,001 --> 00:11:17,000
Don't I know you're from somewhere?
213
00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:19,000
I never forget a face.
214
00:11:19,001 --> 00:11:21,000
Wait a second. You're the bagel girl.
215
00:11:21,001 --> 00:11:23,000
She's the bagel girl!
216
00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:26,000
So, where are your bagels?
217
00:11:26,001 --> 00:11:31,000
Oh.
218
00:11:31,001 --> 00:11:33,000
Now I know who gets all the cannolis.
219
00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:35,000
Excuse us.
220
00:11:45,001 --> 00:11:47,000
So, what do you want to do?
221
00:11:47,001 --> 00:11:50,000
Uh, she's tough. I don't know.
You know, it's just... whatever.
222
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,000
It was fun meeting your mom yesterday.
223
00:11:53,001 --> 00:11:56,000
Fun? That was fun?
224
00:11:56,001 --> 00:11:59,000
Well, you know, not like
carnival fun, but... (Laughter)
225
00:11:59,001 --> 00:12:01,459
Uh-huh. Anyway, I
was thinking we could go
226
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,000
out for a nice, expensive,
romantic dinner.
227
00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:05,000
Your treat.
228
00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:11,000
You know, I'm not really hungry.
229
00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:13,000
Did she say anything about me?
230
00:12:13,001 --> 00:12:17,000
About us? I mean, dating?
Or me, just... in general?
231
00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:19,000
No. Do you want to go see a movie?
232
00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:21,000
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
233
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:23,000
Sure.
234
00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:27,000
Hey, you know, your mom must have
been very young when she had you.
235
00:12:27,001 --> 00:12:29,000
Yeah, 18. Why?
236
00:12:29,001 --> 00:12:32,000
Just curious. You know, I mentioned
anything that has to do with you.
237
00:12:33,001 --> 00:12:36,000
You know, so, uh, your
mom never remarried, huh?
238
00:12:36,001 --> 00:12:39,000
Does she date a lot?
And is that hard for you?
239
00:12:39,001 --> 00:12:41,000
No, she doesn't. And no, it's not.
240
00:12:41,001 --> 00:12:45,000
Okay. Okay. Just making conversation.
241
00:12:45,001 --> 00:12:48,000
So, uh, what, uh, what
movie do you want to say?
242
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,000
Let's do something scary.
243
00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:51,000
Okay.
244
00:12:55,001 --> 00:12:57,000
Not too scary.
245
00:12:57,001 --> 00:12:59,000
Who is?
246
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,014
Uh, you know, I was
thinking, uh, maybe
247
00:13:02,026 --> 00:13:04,000
you'd like to ask
your mom to join us.
248
00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:06,000
Why?
249
00:13:06,001 --> 00:13:10,000
Well, my case is very simple, Julie.
I'm the man in love.
250
00:13:10,001 --> 00:13:11,964
Well, since we got
off in the wrong foot,
251
00:13:11,976 --> 00:13:14,000
I thought it'd be a
nice gesture, but hey,
252
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:18,000
it's just an idea. And, you know, as
far as I'm concerned, she can go see
253
00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:20,000
her own fucking movies.
254
00:13:29,001 --> 00:13:33,000
I mean, they don't usually put living
people on stamps, but the Postmaster
255
00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:35,000
General made an exception for Richard.
256
00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:41,000
Not the most flattering
picture I've ever seen.
257
00:13:41,001 --> 00:13:45,000
Look, June, I'd like to ask
your advice about something.
258
00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:48,000
I think I'm gonna break up with Julie.
259
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:53,000
It's terrible.
I'm only halfway through my paper.
260
00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:55,000
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
261
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:59,000
What's the problem? Is it the age
difference? Does she ultimately make you
262
00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:01,000
feel older instead of younger?
263
00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:07,000
Actually, and here's where I'm curious
about your opinion, I think I have a
264
00:14:07,001 --> 00:14:08,000
crush on her mother.
265
00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:12,000
Oh, my God!
First the daughter and now the mother.
266
00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:14,000
Jesus, Martin, I hope
they don't have any pets.
267
00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:17,000
Yes, see, that's the insight I
was looking for. Thank you.
268
00:14:17,001 --> 00:14:19,000
I'm sorry, I didn't.
269
00:14:19,001 --> 00:14:22,000
I've only met her once, you
know, but I thought she was terrific.
270
00:14:22,001 --> 00:14:23,379
You know, I'd like
to ask her out, but
271
00:14:23,391 --> 00:14:25,000
obviously I don't want
to hurt the daughter.
272
00:14:25,001 --> 00:14:25,976
And I don't want the
mother to think I'm
273
00:14:25,988 --> 00:14:27,000
asking her just because
she's the mother.
274
00:14:27,001 --> 00:14:30,000
Like, I have some kind of
mother thing, which I don't.
275
00:14:30,001 --> 00:14:36,000
Uh, could I just take a few notes here?
Just might be a Grant in this.
276
00:14:53,001 --> 00:14:55,000
Hi, Martin.
277
00:14:55,001 --> 00:14:59,000
Toothpaste.
278
00:14:59,001 --> 00:15:02,000
You know, I'm really glad you invited
me over because my roommate put the h
279
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,000
anger on the door.
280
00:15:03,001 --> 00:15:06,000
I think she's going to lose her virginity.
281
00:15:06,001 --> 00:15:08,000
So what's on TV?
282
00:15:08,001 --> 00:15:16,000
Look, Julie, I don't think we
should watch TV right now.
283
00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:25,000
What do you want to do?
284
00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:28,000
I don't think we should do that either.
285
00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:30,000
To what?
286
00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:32,000
Where did I leave my cheese?
287
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,000
Julie.
288
00:15:37,001 --> 00:15:38,000
Oh.
289
00:15:39,001 --> 00:15:41,000
Could you-- Can I what?
290
00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:44,000
Julie.
291
00:15:45,001 --> 00:15:49,000
I don't think we should
see each other anymore.
292
00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:51,000
I don't want to leave you.
293
00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:53,000
Okay, that's cool.
294
00:15:53,001 --> 00:15:54,000
Oh.
295
00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:57,000
Do you want me to take
my hand out of your pants?
296
00:15:57,001 --> 00:16:00,000
I think that'd be appropriate.
297
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:05,000
Look, Julie, I really like you.
298
00:16:05,001 --> 00:16:07,000
A lot, you know.
299
00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:11,000
But the problem is-- I
wish to marry your mother.
300
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,000
I just don't see us going anywhere.
301
00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:14,000
I'm sorry.
302
00:16:14,001 --> 00:16:15,000
Oh, don't be.
303
00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:16,000
I totally agree.
304
00:16:16,001 --> 00:16:17,000
You do?
305
00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:18,000
Totally.
306
00:16:19,001 --> 00:16:22,000
Actually, I sort of have to
think from my lab partner.
307
00:16:24,001 --> 00:16:27,000
Oh, well, that's terrific.
308
00:16:27,001 --> 00:16:28,000
See?
309
00:16:28,001 --> 00:16:29,000
That's perfect.
310
00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:31,000
Everybody's happy. No hard feelings.
311
00:16:31,001 --> 00:16:33,000
No hard feelings.
312
00:16:33,001 --> 00:16:37,000
Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
313
00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:39,000
I'll save you cinnamon, Ben.
314
00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:45,000
Uh, look, look, Julie.
315
00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:50,000
Just one last thing before you go,
and I totally understand if you say no.
316
00:16:50,001 --> 00:16:55,000
But I was-- I was thinking
about asking out your mom.
317
00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:56,000
My mom?
318
00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:58,000
Look, I know it's a little unusual.
319
00:16:58,001 --> 00:16:59,000
My mom?
320
00:16:59,001 --> 00:17:01,000
And if it's too weird for
you, you know, I just--
321
00:17:01,001 --> 00:17:02,937
No, it's not too
weird for me, but why
322
00:17:02,949 --> 00:17:05,000
would anyone want
to go out with my mom?
323
00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:08,000
Well, she always smells so nice.
324
00:17:08,001 --> 00:17:11,000
Just like clothes when I first
come back from the laundry.
325
00:17:11,001 --> 00:17:13,000
She seems neat.
326
00:17:14,001 --> 00:17:16,000
Try living with her for 20 years.
327
00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:18,000
Oh, she is so annoying.
328
00:17:18,001 --> 00:17:20,000
I mean, she thinks she's
funny, which she's not.
329
00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:23,000
And God, you should see her without makeup.
330
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:26,000
But hey, if you want to go
out, there'd be my guest.
331
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,000
Okay.
332
00:17:28,001 --> 00:17:31,000
It might be one other problem, though.
333
00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:32,000
What's that?
334
00:17:32,001 --> 00:17:34,000
She sort of hates you.
335
00:17:34,001 --> 00:17:36,000
See ya.
336
00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:44,000
Did I never let that stop me?
337
00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:45,000
I know.
338
00:17:45,001 --> 00:17:53,000
Well, there's no such thing as
vegetarian pigs in blankets, Mrs. Krabs.
339
00:17:53,001 --> 00:17:56,000
Yeah, right. Yeah, right.
340
00:17:56,001 --> 00:17:58,000
Well, there's just dough, Mr. Krabs.
341
00:17:58,001 --> 00:18:02,000
Mother, what does one
do when one is in love?
342
00:18:02,001 --> 00:18:07,000
How does one go about...
informing the other party?
343
00:18:07,001 --> 00:18:10,000
Well, without the pigs, it's just blankets.
344
00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:12,000
Right. Okay. Bye, Mr. Krabs.
345
00:18:12,001 --> 00:18:17,000
Hi.
346
00:18:17,001 --> 00:18:20,000
Well, if it isn't humbered, humbered.
What a surprise.
347
00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:22,548
Well, you know, I was
just on my lunch hour
348
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,000
thought I'd drop by
him and say, "Hello."
349
00:18:25,001 --> 00:18:26,000
Why?
350
00:18:26,001 --> 00:18:27,489
Well, actually, I
just wanted to let you
351
00:18:27,501 --> 00:18:29,000
know, in case Julie
hasn't mentioned it,
352
00:18:29,001 --> 00:18:34,000
which I'm sure she has, but Julie
and I aren't seeing each other anymore.
353
00:18:34,001 --> 00:18:35,963
No, she didn't tell
me. What happened?
354
00:18:35,975 --> 00:18:38,000
Did you leave her for
a younger woman ?
355
00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:42,000
I think that'd be impossible
without going to jail.
356
00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:45,000
Talk yourself out of that.
357
00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:48,105
Look, I'm probably
way out of line here,
358
00:18:48,117 --> 00:18:51,000
but... can I buy you
dinner sometime?
359
00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:53,000
You want to go out with me?
360
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:56,000
Oh, no. No, no, no.
I don't actually have to go with you.
361
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:58,000
I just thought maybe
I could buy it for you.
362
00:18:58,001 --> 00:19:01,000
Martin, I don't make it a habit to
date my daughter's ex-boyfriends.
363
00:19:01,001 --> 00:19:04,000
Of course, they're usually
19, so it's not an issue.
364
00:19:04,001 --> 00:19:07,000
Can I help you with that?
365
00:19:07,001 --> 00:19:10,000
Look, Mrs. Kep...
Do you have a first name by any chance?
366
00:19:10,001 --> 00:19:11,000
Kate.
367
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:18,000
Kate. Listen, Kate, Julie and I, it
was nothing. She meant nothing to me.
368
00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:20,000
Well, that makes a mother happy.
369
00:19:20,001 --> 00:19:22,000
No, no, no, no, no.
I meant nothing to her either.
370
00:19:22,001 --> 00:19:23,000
Are you saying my daughter's shallow?
371
00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:26,000
No, no. How about coffee?
Can I just buy a cup of coffee?
372
00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:27,000
I don't think so.
373
00:19:27,001 --> 00:19:30,000
How about a cheeseburger? Shh!
374
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:31,000
Hot!
375
00:19:31,001 --> 00:19:36,000
How about a lift over to the burn unit?
376
00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:39,000
Come on. What do you see?
377
00:19:39,001 --> 00:19:41,000
Thanks for stopping by.
378
00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:50,000
Listen, I have a great idea.
379
00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:53,000
Why don't you go out with
my son, and then we'll be even?
380
00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:57,000
He's only 13. He's very mature,
and really, I think he'd like him.
381
00:19:57,001 --> 00:19:59,000
He's kind of like me.
382
00:19:59,001 --> 00:20:13,000
Martin, I thought you had a job.
383
00:20:13,001 --> 00:20:18,000
Listen, I've got a terrific order
of recipe. You might want to try.
384
00:20:18,001 --> 00:20:21,000
Oh, yeah? Uh-huh. You take a
little bit of tomato sauce, right?
385
00:20:21,001 --> 00:20:24,000
A little bit of cheese, put it on an
English muffin, and just slap it in the
386
00:20:24,001 --> 00:20:24,000
toaster oven.
387
00:20:24,001 --> 00:20:26,000
You might want to write this down.
388
00:20:26,001 --> 00:20:29,000
Look, Martin, despite the fact that
you sleep with college girls, you seem
389
00:20:29,001 --> 00:20:30,000
like a decent enough guy.
390
00:20:30,001 --> 00:20:31,893
But I have a very
successful business, a
391
00:20:31,905 --> 00:20:34,000
terrific daughter whom
I believe you've met.
392
00:20:34,001 --> 00:20:37,000
And who may I say you've
done a terrific job raising?
393
00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:39,000
Kiss ass.
394
00:20:39,001 --> 00:20:43,000
Anyway, Martin, I'm very happy, and
I just don't want anyone or anything to
395
00:20:43,001 --> 00:20:44,000
make my life more complicated right now.
396
00:20:44,001 --> 00:20:49,000
[dramatic music]
397
00:20:49,001 --> 00:20:52,000
Yes, you do. Come on, everybody does.
398
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:56,000
You know, I mean, what about romance?
What about that? I mean, romance is...
399
00:20:56,001 --> 00:21:01,000
The sacrament. And sure income.
And sure it is a sacrament.
400
00:21:01,001 --> 00:21:04,000
And all our lives, we live
on a banana plantation.
401
00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:07,000
Shit. I lost my train of thought.
402
00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:08,000
Romance.
403
00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:10,000
Right, right. Romance is...
404
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,000
It's important. It's very, very important.
405
00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:19,000
And I'm usually a little bit
more articulate than this, but...
406
00:21:19,001 --> 00:21:22,000
I'm flattered. I really am.
407
00:21:22,001 --> 00:21:25,000
But I'm just not interested in romance.
408
00:21:25,001 --> 00:21:28,000
Well, we'll see about that.
409
00:21:56,001 --> 00:22:11,000
You wonder, you got it.
410
00:22:17,001 --> 00:22:43,000
I hope to see you next week.
So until then, good night.
30170
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