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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:08,426 [theme music] 2 00:00:08,556 --> 00:00:09,731 - ? I'm goin' down to South Park ? 3 00:00:09,775 --> 00:00:11,690 ? Gonna have myself a time 4 00:00:11,733 --> 00:00:13,169 - ? Friendly faces everywhere ? 5 00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,084 ? Humble folks without temptation ? 6 00:00:15,171 --> 00:00:16,303 - ? I'm goin' down to South Park ? 7 00:00:16,390 --> 00:00:18,174 ? Gonna leave my woes behind ? 8 00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:19,959 - ? Ample parking day or night ? 9 00:00:20,089 --> 00:00:21,743 ? People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ? 10 00:00:21,874 --> 00:00:22,962 - ? I'm headin' on down to South Park ? 11 00:00:23,092 --> 00:00:25,094 ? Gonna see if I can't unwind ? 12 00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:28,359 - ? [mumbling] ? 13 00:00:28,402 --> 00:00:29,577 - ? Come on down to South Park ? 14 00:00:29,621 --> 00:00:31,405 ? And meet some friends of mine ? 15 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:37,803 [school bell rings] 16 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,445 - Hey, fellas! Fellas! 17 00:00:39,576 --> 00:00:42,057 You wanna know what time I woke up this morning? 18 00:00:42,187 --> 00:00:44,146 - What time? - Around six-seven! 19 00:00:44,233 --> 00:00:46,496 all: Six-seven! 20 00:00:46,583 --> 00:00:48,019 - Oh, hey, Annie. Ladies. 21 00:00:48,150 --> 00:00:50,369 Did you guys do your homework last night? 22 00:00:50,456 --> 00:00:53,982 I tried to, but I got stuck on problems six and seven! 23 00:00:54,025 --> 00:00:55,592 all: Six-seven! 24 00:00:55,636 --> 00:00:56,811 - [Butters laughs] 25 00:00:56,941 --> 00:00:58,247 Hey, Eric! 26 00:00:58,290 --> 00:00:59,857 - I know, Butters. I know. Don't do it to me. 27 00:00:59,901 --> 00:01:01,685 It's too funny. - But I just did a six-seven 28 00:01:01,816 --> 00:01:03,861 with Annie and Megan at the same time! 29 00:01:03,905 --> 00:01:05,471 - Yeah, five minutes ago I snuck up on Wendy 30 00:01:05,602 --> 00:01:06,864 and totally six-seven'd her from behind. 31 00:01:06,995 --> 00:01:08,213 - Wow! - Hey, Scott. 32 00:01:08,257 --> 00:01:09,475 How's your diabetes, man? 33 00:01:09,606 --> 00:01:13,088 - My diabetes? - Yeah, what's your A1C at? 34 00:01:13,175 --> 00:01:14,611 - 6.7. 35 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:17,309 all: Six-seven! 36 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:18,615 - [laughs] Oh, my God. 37 00:01:18,659 --> 00:01:21,052 So fucking funny. 38 00:01:21,183 --> 00:01:23,664 [indistinct chatter] 39 00:01:23,707 --> 00:01:25,448 - All right, everyone, listen up. 40 00:01:25,491 --> 00:01:28,277 I've gotten a lot of reports of disruptions in the classroom 41 00:01:28,407 --> 00:01:31,280 and some satanic numerology shit going on. 42 00:01:31,410 --> 00:01:34,283 So I want to remind you this is a Power Christian school, 43 00:01:34,413 --> 00:01:35,806 and I am a Power Christian Principal, 44 00:01:35,850 --> 00:01:37,503 and we will be PC! 45 00:01:37,547 --> 00:01:39,549 So now I want you to hear from someone 46 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,508 who is the highest authority on Biblical prophecies. 47 00:01:42,639 --> 00:01:45,337 This person is an absolute expert on the end of days 48 00:01:45,468 --> 00:01:47,209 and the coming of the Antichrist. 49 00:01:47,296 --> 00:01:49,994 Please welcome Mr. Pete Thiel. 50 00:01:50,081 --> 00:01:52,256 [upbeat music playing] 51 00:01:52,301 --> 00:01:55,304 - ? Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist ? 52 00:01:55,434 --> 00:01:58,350 ? Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist ? 53 00:01:58,394 --> 00:02:03,573 - ? I'm Peter Thiel and I know about the Antichrist ? 54 00:02:03,704 --> 00:02:05,053 SINGERS: ? Let's learn about the Antichrist today ? 55 00:02:05,096 --> 00:02:06,750 - ? Today 56 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:07,881 Hello, kids, I'm Peter Thiel, and I'm here to talk to you 57 00:02:07,925 --> 00:02:09,623 about the Antichrist! 58 00:02:11,059 --> 00:02:12,364 [one person clapping] 59 00:02:12,495 --> 00:02:14,758 OK, so first, what is the Antichrist? 60 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,717 The Antichrist is a newer, more human form of Satan 61 00:02:16,847 --> 00:02:18,109 that will soon walk the Earth. 62 00:02:18,153 --> 00:02:19,589 We don't know how soon it will walk the Earth, 63 00:02:19,719 --> 00:02:21,678 but it could be within the next six to seven weeks. 64 00:02:21,722 --> 00:02:24,072 KIDS: Six-seven! 65 00:02:25,421 --> 00:02:27,249 - Uh, kay. 66 00:02:27,336 --> 00:02:29,164 Uh, you see, Satan was a fallen angel 67 00:02:29,294 --> 00:02:30,774 and God punished him, 68 00:02:30,905 --> 00:02:33,342 and to make sure that Satan could never have offspring, 69 00:02:33,472 --> 00:02:36,388 the Lord God did shrink Satan's asshole 70 00:02:36,519 --> 00:02:39,478 to the size of a tiny, little pinhole 71 00:02:39,565 --> 00:02:43,134 so nothing could ever penetrate and ejaculate inside of it. 72 00:02:43,265 --> 00:02:45,832 So Satan could never have a butt baby until 73 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:48,139 along came Mr. Donald Trunp, 74 00:02:48,270 --> 00:02:51,316 whose penis is so teeny, teeny tiny 75 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,145 it could actually fit in Satan's asshole. 76 00:02:54,276 --> 00:02:56,017 How small is Donald Trump's penis? 77 00:02:56,147 --> 00:02:58,715 Somewhere between six and seven centimeters. 78 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:02,197 KIDS: Six-seven! 79 00:03:02,327 --> 00:03:04,416 - Hey, look, this is very important, people. 80 00:03:04,547 --> 00:03:06,157 OK, the Antichrist is coming. 81 00:03:06,244 --> 00:03:09,813 The Bible refers to the eagle, which refers to America, 82 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,772 the fourth seal broken, and hell coming to Earth. 83 00:03:11,815 --> 00:03:15,776 It's right here in Revelations 6... 84 00:03:15,906 --> 00:03:17,255 six-seven. 85 00:03:17,299 --> 00:03:19,780 KIDS: Six-seven! 86 00:03:19,910 --> 00:03:22,043 - [laughing] 87 00:03:22,086 --> 00:03:24,828 - Good, and breathe in through your nose. [inhales] 88 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,438 [exhales] And out through your mouth. 89 00:03:26,525 --> 00:03:28,223 In--two, three four. 90 00:03:28,353 --> 00:03:30,225 And exhale--two, three, four. 91 00:03:30,355 --> 00:03:31,921 Good. Let your shoulders soften. 92 00:03:31,966 --> 00:03:33,750 Let your jaw relax. 93 00:03:33,837 --> 00:03:36,361 Now gentle pressure on the hips as your partner exhales. 94 00:03:36,492 --> 00:03:37,493 Good. 95 00:03:37,536 --> 00:03:40,017 - This is so boring! 96 00:03:40,147 --> 00:03:42,193 - How about you shut up and do your job? 97 00:03:42,324 --> 00:03:44,195 - Ah, come on, Satan! 98 00:03:44,239 --> 00:03:45,588 How about we just go home and fuck? 99 00:03:45,631 --> 00:03:47,459 We haven't had sex in forever. 100 00:03:47,590 --> 00:03:49,766 - That's because it's bad for the baby. 101 00:03:49,853 --> 00:03:51,986 - Yeah, but fuck the baby. This is stupid! 102 00:03:52,116 --> 00:03:53,770 - Did you just say "fuck the baby"? 103 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,207 - Hey, relax, guy. 104 00:03:56,338 --> 00:03:58,166 I didn't mean like really fuck the baby! 105 00:03:58,209 --> 00:03:59,907 - No, you know what? You can just go home. 106 00:03:59,994 --> 00:04:01,256 I'll finish this myself. 107 00:04:01,386 --> 00:04:03,214 You can go home and jack off if you want. 108 00:04:03,345 --> 00:04:05,390 INSTRUCTOR: [exhales] Perfect. 109 00:04:12,789 --> 00:04:15,923 [belt clinking, zipper opens] 110 00:04:24,235 --> 00:04:25,367 [door opens] 111 00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:26,498 - Hello, boss! 112 00:04:26,585 --> 00:04:28,152 - Ah! Shit! 113 00:04:28,239 --> 00:04:29,458 - Good news, boss, 114 00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:32,243 we just shut down another abortion clinic. 115 00:04:32,287 --> 00:04:34,202 - Oh, yeah, great. That's great. 116 00:04:34,245 --> 00:04:35,464 - Yes, boss. 117 00:04:35,594 --> 00:04:38,162 You've made all the Christians so happy. 118 00:04:38,249 --> 00:04:41,862 Of course, there is still one more clinic 119 00:04:41,905 --> 00:04:43,820 that will still perform abortions 120 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,735 right here in town. 121 00:04:45,822 --> 00:04:46,780 [dramatic musical sting] 122 00:04:46,823 --> 00:04:48,433 - There is? - Oh, yes. 123 00:04:48,477 --> 00:04:50,653 How unfortunate that some babies 124 00:04:50,784 --> 00:04:53,612 will not be able to be born. 125 00:04:53,698 --> 00:04:56,964 As Christians, we can't allow this to continue. 126 00:04:57,051 --> 00:04:59,270 Perhaps you should go speak 127 00:04:59,401 --> 00:05:02,012 with this abortion doctor personally. 128 00:05:02,056 --> 00:05:04,623 - Yeah. Yeah! 129 00:05:07,278 --> 00:05:08,802 [knock on door] - Come on. 130 00:05:11,282 --> 00:05:12,893 - PC Principal, do you have a minute? 131 00:05:13,023 --> 00:05:14,416 - Sure, Jesus. What do you need? 132 00:05:14,503 --> 00:05:17,288 - I'm starting to wonder if I really fit in here. 133 00:05:17,419 --> 00:05:18,942 - Course you fit in. 134 00:05:19,073 --> 00:05:20,944 This school's been a cesspool of heathen left-wing 135 00:05:21,075 --> 00:05:24,034 little bitches, and only our faith is gonna set them right. 136 00:05:24,078 --> 00:05:26,471 - Could I ask exactly 137 00:05:26,515 --> 00:05:29,518 what branch of Christianity are you? 138 00:05:29,648 --> 00:05:30,736 - The kind that loves his country 139 00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:32,738 and doesn't tolerate any fucking fags. 140 00:05:32,869 --> 00:05:36,133 - Yeah, see, I-I really think I don't belong here. 141 00:05:36,177 --> 00:05:38,048 - Look, I understand it's a tough transition. 142 00:05:38,092 --> 00:05:39,702 You know, the vice principal here 143 00:05:39,745 --> 00:05:41,878 had the same conflict as you, but she's really come around. 144 00:05:41,965 --> 00:05:43,880 - The vice principal? Your wife? 145 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,273 - That's right. 146 00:05:45,316 --> 00:05:47,188 Can you send in Strong Christian Woman, please? 147 00:05:47,231 --> 00:05:49,581 She was saying this wasn't the place for her anymore, 148 00:05:49,712 --> 00:05:51,845 but just this last weekend, she converted to Christianity. 149 00:05:51,888 --> 00:05:53,716 [knocks] 150 00:05:53,847 --> 00:05:55,413 - You wanted to see me? 151 00:05:55,544 --> 00:05:57,111 - Yeah, Strong Christian Woman, I was just telling Jesus 152 00:05:57,154 --> 00:05:58,155 here about our faith. 153 00:05:58,286 --> 00:06:01,115 - Oh, yes, it's been such a blessing. 154 00:06:01,202 --> 00:06:03,465 - She converted on Saturday. What do you think, huh? 155 00:06:03,595 --> 00:06:05,467 You ever seen a more Christian chick in your fucking life? 156 00:06:05,597 --> 00:06:07,034 - Never. 157 00:06:07,164 --> 00:06:08,600 - Look, I know it's a hard adjustment, 158 00:06:08,731 --> 00:06:09,950 but just stick with it, 159 00:06:09,993 --> 00:06:12,082 and you're gonna fit in here just fine, Jesus. 160 00:06:15,259 --> 00:06:18,045 - [soft muttering] 161 00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:24,268 [snickers] 162 00:06:24,355 --> 00:06:27,010 [giggles] 163 00:06:27,141 --> 00:06:28,838 - Everything go good at school today, honey? 164 00:06:28,969 --> 00:06:31,275 - [stifling laughter] Yep, yep. School was good. 165 00:06:31,362 --> 00:06:34,713 School was pretty good. [snickering] 166 00:06:34,799 --> 00:06:36,193 - Is everything OK, honey? 167 00:06:36,323 --> 00:06:37,325 - Yeah. Everything's fine. 168 00:06:37,368 --> 00:06:38,761 It's fine. 169 00:06:38,804 --> 00:06:40,981 Mom? Uh, could I-- could I ask you something? 170 00:06:41,111 --> 00:06:42,069 - Sure, Eric. 171 00:06:42,156 --> 00:06:43,505 - Do you know, um-- 172 00:06:43,592 --> 00:06:45,072 do you know on average, 173 00:06:45,202 --> 00:06:47,422 um, at what age kids lose their baby teeth? 174 00:06:47,552 --> 00:06:49,076 - Oh, I'm not sure, Eric. 175 00:06:49,206 --> 00:06:51,295 I guess usually around six, seven? 176 00:06:51,382 --> 00:06:55,343 - [laughing] 177 00:06:55,473 --> 00:06:56,518 OK. 178 00:06:56,605 --> 00:06:57,736 - Eric, what? 179 00:06:57,823 --> 00:06:58,999 - No, nothing. Nothing. I'm sorry. 180 00:06:59,129 --> 00:07:00,435 [clears throat] I'm sorry. 181 00:07:00,565 --> 00:07:02,872 I was just, uh-- I was just, um-- 182 00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:05,396 I was just thinking about your menstrual cycle. 183 00:07:05,527 --> 00:07:07,181 - My menstrual cycle? 184 00:07:07,311 --> 00:07:09,052 - Yeah, I was just wondering 185 00:07:09,183 --> 00:07:11,794 when you actual menstruate, Mom. 186 00:07:11,837 --> 00:07:14,840 Like, roughly, how many days does that last? 187 00:07:14,971 --> 00:07:16,146 - Well, Eric, it's usually around 188 00:07:16,190 --> 00:07:17,539 six to seven days that a woman-- 189 00:07:17,582 --> 00:07:22,587 - [laughing] 190 00:07:22,718 --> 00:07:24,763 Oh. Oh. [choking] 191 00:07:24,894 --> 00:07:27,244 [laughing, choking] 192 00:07:27,375 --> 00:07:29,943 [retching] 193 00:07:29,986 --> 00:07:34,424 [retching continues] 194 00:07:34,469 --> 00:07:36,601 - Eric? Sweetie? 195 00:07:36,732 --> 00:07:39,778 - [coughs, pants] 196 00:07:39,865 --> 00:07:42,694 - Eric, what is going on? This keeps happening. 197 00:07:42,825 --> 00:07:45,697 - Mom, Mom, you gotta tell me something. 198 00:07:45,784 --> 00:07:47,047 - Of course, honey. 199 00:07:47,090 --> 00:07:49,223 - Roughly how many nights-- [gags] 200 00:07:49,266 --> 00:07:50,572 have I been throwing up at dinner? 201 00:07:50,659 --> 00:07:52,269 - I-I don't know, Eric. 202 00:07:52,313 --> 00:07:53,618 It's probably been six or seven nights-- 203 00:07:53,749 --> 00:07:55,577 - [laughing] 204 00:07:55,707 --> 00:07:59,102 [vomiting] 205 00:08:05,456 --> 00:08:06,501 [knock on door] 206 00:08:06,631 --> 00:08:08,111 - Hey, Jesus, get your stuff, man. 207 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,895 We're going out for drinks. - What? 208 00:08:09,939 --> 00:08:11,027 - Look, I know it's been hard for you 209 00:08:11,114 --> 00:08:12,420 trying to adjust here and everything, 210 00:08:12,463 --> 00:08:13,725 so the wife and I were talking 211 00:08:13,856 --> 00:08:14,988 and we found a nice Christian lady 212 00:08:15,031 --> 00:08:16,032 we're gonna set you up with. 213 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:19,122 - Oh, I don't think so. Thanks, but-- 214 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,819 - Oh, come on, man. She's a really great woman, 215 00:08:20,906 --> 00:08:22,865 and she just converted to Christianity. 216 00:08:22,908 --> 00:08:27,174 My wife met her at the same place that she became Christian. 217 00:08:27,304 --> 00:08:28,958 WOMAN: So then I was like, "You know what? 218 00:08:29,089 --> 00:08:30,872 I need a new direction in my life. 219 00:08:30,915 --> 00:08:33,396 It's like I just got so sick of everyone being such a pussy 220 00:08:33,484 --> 00:08:35,443 all the time, and all this woke garbage 221 00:08:35,486 --> 00:08:37,184 and women trying to be men. 222 00:08:37,314 --> 00:08:39,054 So I just started reading the Bible, you know? 223 00:08:39,141 --> 00:08:40,665 I mean, I didn't actually read the Bible, 224 00:08:40,708 --> 00:08:42,363 but I listened to a lot of podcasts. 225 00:08:42,406 --> 00:08:44,060 And once I went through my transition, I was like, 226 00:08:44,104 --> 00:08:45,627 "This is great," 227 00:08:45,714 --> 00:08:48,630 only now, guys are always checking out my Christianity. 228 00:08:48,717 --> 00:08:50,197 - Sorry, could you all excuse me? 229 00:08:50,284 --> 00:08:51,763 I need to go to the bathroom. 230 00:08:51,850 --> 00:08:53,417 - Sure thing, Jesus. 231 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,987 - He seems nice. 232 00:09:05,299 --> 00:09:06,778 - [sighs] 233 00:09:12,871 --> 00:09:15,657 [light music playing] 234 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,959 - Miss Davidson? 235 00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:28,529 Miss Coco Slutty Davidson? 236 00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:30,096 - Oh, yeah, that's me! 237 00:09:30,183 --> 00:09:32,011 I'm Coco Slutty Davidson. 238 00:09:32,141 --> 00:09:33,316 I'm just here to get an abortion. 239 00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,796 [chuckles] 240 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:40,236 - The doctor's right in here... ma'am. 241 00:09:40,323 --> 00:09:42,674 - Hey, doc! 242 00:09:48,157 --> 00:09:49,594 All right, listen, 243 00:09:49,637 --> 00:09:51,552 I need you to perform an abortion, but it's not for me. 244 00:09:51,683 --> 00:09:52,988 It's for my partner. 245 00:09:53,032 --> 00:09:54,207 And you can't tell anyone, 246 00:09:54,337 --> 00:09:56,209 not even my partner. 247 00:09:56,339 --> 00:09:57,819 - How am I supposed to do that? 248 00:09:57,950 --> 00:09:59,212 - Well, you're gonna come with me, see, 249 00:09:59,342 --> 00:10:00,866 and we're gonna sneak into my house, 250 00:10:00,909 --> 00:10:03,912 and you're gonna suck that thing out while everyone's asleep. 251 00:10:04,043 --> 00:10:06,219 - You house wouldn't happen to be white, would it? 252 00:10:06,262 --> 00:10:07,481 - Hey! How do you know that? 253 00:10:07,612 --> 00:10:09,657 - Look, Mr. President, I've seen the news. 254 00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:12,268 If you got Satan pregnant, that's your responsibility. 255 00:10:12,399 --> 00:10:14,227 - Well, it's your responsibility now! 256 00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:16,011 Or else I'll sue you, how about that? 257 00:10:16,055 --> 00:10:18,013 - Even if I wanted to help you, sir, 258 00:10:18,144 --> 00:10:19,798 I have no idea how to perform an abortion 259 00:10:19,928 --> 00:10:21,495 on the offspring of Satan. 260 00:10:21,626 --> 00:10:24,759 To do that, you'd need some kind of expert on the Antichrist. 261 00:10:24,803 --> 00:10:27,719 [upbeat music] 262 00:10:27,849 --> 00:10:30,591 SINGERS: ? Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist ? 263 00:10:30,678 --> 00:10:33,855 ? Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist ? 264 00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:38,773 - ? I'm Peter Thiel and I know about the Antichrist ? 265 00:10:38,817 --> 00:10:41,210 ? 266 00:10:41,254 --> 00:10:42,603 All right, listen, 267 00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:44,692 you people have a very serious problem here. 268 00:10:44,736 --> 00:10:47,042 Your students appear to be in some kind of cult 269 00:10:47,086 --> 00:10:48,783 involving the numbers six and seven. 270 00:10:48,827 --> 00:10:50,611 - All right, so what should we do? 271 00:10:50,698 --> 00:10:53,483 - I'm going to need access to all your school's private data-- 272 00:10:53,614 --> 00:10:55,747 school records, health records, and of course, 273 00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:57,270 all security cameras. 274 00:10:57,313 --> 00:10:59,838 - Oh, no, look, I don't think we need it-- 275 00:10:59,968 --> 00:11:01,970 - Is this really what we've come to? 276 00:11:02,057 --> 00:11:04,103 Freely handing people's personal data over 277 00:11:04,146 --> 00:11:06,453 to some tech billionaire preaching shit about the Bible? 278 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,414 - You got a problem with Jesus, bro? 279 00:11:11,501 --> 00:11:14,504 - Come on, man, you became a Christian like three months ago. 280 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:16,245 - Yeah, I've got fucking faith, dude! 281 00:11:16,289 --> 00:11:17,856 What do you have, you little bitch? 282 00:11:17,899 --> 00:11:19,074 You wanna throw down, bro? 283 00:11:19,118 --> 00:11:20,728 - OK, hey, hey, hey-- 284 00:11:20,772 --> 00:11:21,860 - You wanna see what it feels like to talk shit 285 00:11:21,903 --> 00:11:23,165 about Christians, dude? 286 00:11:23,209 --> 00:11:24,732 [grunting] 287 00:11:24,776 --> 00:11:26,081 - I'll kick your heathen ass, bro! 288 00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:32,479 [mechanical droning] 289 00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:34,916 [loud whirring] 290 00:11:35,047 --> 00:11:39,312 [thrumming] 291 00:11:39,355 --> 00:11:41,140 - All right, just try to be still, Eric. 292 00:11:41,270 --> 00:11:43,098 - Doctor, could I ask a question? 293 00:11:43,229 --> 00:11:44,491 - Of course. 294 00:11:44,534 --> 00:11:46,449 - About how long-- [stifled laughter] 295 00:11:46,536 --> 00:11:48,016 do you need me to be still? 296 00:11:48,103 --> 00:11:49,888 - Just about ten seconds, Eric. 297 00:11:49,931 --> 00:11:50,845 - OK. 298 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,719 So how long now? 299 00:11:54,762 --> 00:11:56,242 - Just another six, seven seconds, Eric-- 300 00:11:56,285 --> 00:11:58,244 - [laughter] 301 00:11:58,374 --> 00:12:01,595 [vomiting] 302 00:12:03,249 --> 00:12:05,120 [steady beeping] 303 00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:06,948 - I'm sorry, Mrs. Cartman, but we can't pinpoint 304 00:12:07,079 --> 00:12:08,602 the source of his illness. 305 00:12:08,689 --> 00:12:10,517 - [snorting] 306 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:13,128 - If he continues to vomit this much daily, 307 00:12:13,259 --> 00:12:15,174 I'm afraid it could be life threatening. 308 00:12:15,304 --> 00:12:16,958 - But, doctor, 309 00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:19,787 if I'm not able to keep any food down, 310 00:12:19,831 --> 00:12:22,790 roughly how long would it take-- [stifled laughter] 311 00:12:22,921 --> 00:12:25,706 roughly how long would it take for the human body to die? 312 00:12:25,793 --> 00:12:27,926 - Eric, I'm gonna be very honest with you. 313 00:12:28,056 --> 00:12:29,754 Without sufficient nutrients, 314 00:12:29,797 --> 00:12:31,669 the body shuts down after six to seven weeks. 315 00:12:31,712 --> 00:12:35,281 - [laughing] 316 00:12:35,368 --> 00:12:37,283 [vomit splatting] 317 00:12:37,370 --> 00:12:40,373 [keyboard clacking] 318 00:12:40,416 --> 00:12:42,592 - Excuse me, that's my computer. 319 00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:45,117 - Yes. And your computer has all the personal data 320 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,945 of the students here. - It's OK, Jesus, 321 00:12:47,075 --> 00:12:48,424 Peter Thiel knows what he's doing. 322 00:12:48,555 --> 00:12:50,426 - I've downloaded all the students' information 323 00:12:50,557 --> 00:12:53,168 and loaded them into an AI face detection program 324 00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:55,562 so the school's security cameras can watch their every move. 325 00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:57,433 Now look. 326 00:12:57,564 --> 00:12:59,435 Two students passing each other in the hallway. 327 00:12:59,566 --> 00:13:02,525 They give each other the sign-- six, seven. 328 00:13:02,569 --> 00:13:04,832 Exactly 67 seconds later, 329 00:13:04,963 --> 00:13:08,096 this odd parka-wearing child makes the same gesture. 330 00:13:08,183 --> 00:13:10,620 And then inside the girls bathroom, 331 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:13,014 two girls doing the same thing. 332 00:13:13,058 --> 00:13:16,452 - Wait, why is there a camera inside the girls bathroom? 333 00:13:16,583 --> 00:13:18,977 - To stop the Antichrist. 334 00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:21,109 Now I'm following the lead on this girl here. 335 00:13:21,196 --> 00:13:24,417 She went home to 67 Mala Vista Drive. 336 00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:26,245 Going through her family's medical records, 337 00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:28,987 I found that her father has testicular cancer 338 00:13:29,030 --> 00:13:32,904 and 67 days ago, had one testicle removed. 339 00:13:33,034 --> 00:13:35,428 - That really feels like none of our business. 340 00:13:35,558 --> 00:13:37,082 - I don't know how I'm supposed to work 341 00:13:37,125 --> 00:13:39,432 with Nosy Nancy peering over my shoulder all the time. 342 00:13:39,562 --> 00:13:40,999 - Jesus, let's you and me have a quick chin wiggle 343 00:13:41,129 --> 00:13:42,304 out in the hall. 344 00:13:45,177 --> 00:13:46,091 [door shuts] 345 00:13:49,572 --> 00:13:50,530 [sinister music] 346 00:13:50,573 --> 00:13:52,227 - I'm getting close. 347 00:13:52,314 --> 00:13:55,274 I almost have the key to stop it from happening. 348 00:13:55,404 --> 00:13:57,058 ? ? 349 00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:59,452 - We are running out of time, Mr. Thiel. 350 00:13:59,495 --> 00:14:01,889 The Antichrist is coming. 351 00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:06,198 Satan is shopping for baby strollers as we speak. 352 00:14:06,241 --> 00:14:09,114 - If I'm going to learn what these numbers mean, 353 00:14:09,244 --> 00:14:12,247 I'm going to need access to every government database. 354 00:14:12,378 --> 00:14:14,728 - You will have it, Mr. Thiel. 355 00:14:14,859 --> 00:14:17,426 Nothing is more important than making sure 356 00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:20,821 this baby is not born. 357 00:14:20,865 --> 00:14:23,041 ? 358 00:14:23,084 --> 00:14:26,740 [soft sentimental music] 359 00:14:26,871 --> 00:14:29,395 - Look, man, I know it's tough, 360 00:14:29,482 --> 00:14:31,440 but you gotta understand that drastic times 361 00:14:31,484 --> 00:14:33,921 call for drastic measures. 362 00:14:33,965 --> 00:14:37,620 - I just don't feel good about treating people this way. 363 00:14:37,707 --> 00:14:40,406 I think the most important thing still has to be loving 364 00:14:40,493 --> 00:14:42,060 and respecting each other. 365 00:14:42,103 --> 00:14:44,497 ? 366 00:14:44,540 --> 00:14:46,064 - All right, man, I need to ask you something 367 00:14:46,107 --> 00:14:48,196 and I need you to tell me the truth. 368 00:14:48,283 --> 00:14:50,329 Are you a fag? 369 00:14:50,459 --> 00:14:51,983 - No. That has nothing to do with it. It just-- 370 00:14:52,070 --> 00:14:53,680 - Are you fucking sure? 371 00:14:53,723 --> 00:14:56,378 - I'm just trying to say that I'm really confused right now. 372 00:14:56,422 --> 00:14:58,076 - OK, but confused like you don't know if you're attracted 373 00:14:58,119 --> 00:14:59,729 to dudes, or like what? 374 00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:03,908 - Like how we can just change everything about who we are. 375 00:15:03,951 --> 00:15:05,474 - I think you still just don't understand 376 00:15:05,518 --> 00:15:08,086 what Christians today are about. 377 00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:13,004 Come on. There's someone I think you should talk to. 378 00:15:13,091 --> 00:15:14,527 WOMAN: Oh, yes, the Antichrist! 379 00:15:14,657 --> 00:15:17,356 I've listened to a lot of podcasts about that. 380 00:15:17,399 --> 00:15:19,749 Everyone keeps saying how the Antichrist is coming, 381 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,316 but I'm like "He already did! 382 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,971 I was married to him in 2018!" 383 00:15:24,015 --> 00:15:25,930 But seriously, if he saw how Christian I was now, 384 00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:27,845 he'd probably shit his pants. 385 00:15:27,888 --> 00:15:29,585 [snorts] Don't be jealous. 386 00:15:29,672 --> 00:15:31,370 He's so funny. 387 00:15:35,243 --> 00:15:38,116 [militaristic music] 388 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,428 - Hey. 389 00:15:42,559 --> 00:15:44,561 Hey, Satan. 390 00:15:55,484 --> 00:15:57,530 - Hello, boss. - Ah! Fuck! Shit! 391 00:15:57,617 --> 00:15:59,271 - Oh, sorry, boss. 392 00:15:59,314 --> 00:16:01,447 I did not know Satan was sleeping. 393 00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:03,405 - Yeah, that's all he ever does anymore. 394 00:16:03,449 --> 00:16:05,146 - Poor boss. 395 00:16:05,277 --> 00:16:07,758 If you're going to jack off, shall I fetch your cum rag? 396 00:16:07,845 --> 00:16:09,542 - Hey! I wasn't jacking off! 397 00:16:09,629 --> 00:16:10,587 - Sure thing, boss. 398 00:16:10,630 --> 00:16:12,414 I'll go get your cum rag. 399 00:16:14,068 --> 00:16:16,331 [sinister music] 400 00:16:16,462 --> 00:16:18,464 [buttons dialing] 401 00:16:18,595 --> 00:16:21,293 What is taking you so long? 402 00:16:21,336 --> 00:16:23,295 - I'm very close to finding the secret of the numbers. 403 00:16:23,338 --> 00:16:25,253 I've narrowed it down to one little boy 404 00:16:25,297 --> 00:16:27,081 who seems more possessed than the others. 405 00:16:27,125 --> 00:16:28,561 - Then deal with him, 406 00:16:28,648 --> 00:16:30,694 and keep it quiet. 407 00:16:30,737 --> 00:16:33,305 Nobody can know that we are working together. 408 00:16:33,435 --> 00:16:35,133 When I become president, 409 00:16:35,176 --> 00:16:38,876 I will give you full access to everyone's data. 410 00:16:39,006 --> 00:16:41,139 - I've already spoken with the mother, 411 00:16:41,269 --> 00:16:44,664 and I'm on my way now to face the child. 412 00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,667 [eerie piano music] 413 00:16:47,711 --> 00:16:53,630 ? 414 00:16:55,936 --> 00:16:59,157 SINGERS: ? Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist ? 415 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,203 ? Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist ? 416 00:17:02,247 --> 00:17:07,555 - ? I'm Peter Thiel and I know about the Antichrist ? 417 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,428 SINGERS: ? Let's deal with the Antichrist today ? 418 00:17:09,470 --> 00:17:11,169 - ? Today 419 00:17:11,299 --> 00:17:12,910 Is your son home? 420 00:17:12,953 --> 00:17:15,129 - Yes, Mr. Thiel. 421 00:17:15,172 --> 00:17:18,611 He's right upstairs. 422 00:17:18,698 --> 00:17:21,396 - [muttering, chuckling] 423 00:17:27,185 --> 00:17:31,363 [coughing, sniffing] 424 00:17:31,493 --> 00:17:35,715 [stifling laughter] 425 00:17:35,759 --> 00:17:38,979 - Eric, I'm Peter Thiel. 426 00:17:39,110 --> 00:17:41,329 I'm here to help our country. 427 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,940 - Uh, OK. 428 00:17:42,983 --> 00:17:46,073 - I came to see you... 429 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,772 in an Uber, Eric. 430 00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:52,427 - [stifling laughter] 431 00:17:52,558 --> 00:17:55,517 - Would you like to know how long it took me to get here? 432 00:17:57,128 --> 00:17:58,912 - How long? 433 00:17:58,956 --> 00:18:01,001 - It took... 434 00:18:01,045 --> 00:18:02,481 around six or seven minutes. I'm not really-- 435 00:18:02,524 --> 00:18:04,526 - [vomiting] 436 00:18:04,657 --> 00:18:06,746 [laughing] 437 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,748 No way! No way! 438 00:18:08,792 --> 00:18:11,229 [laughing] 439 00:18:11,272 --> 00:18:13,884 - You know, they're all just a bunch of libtards anyways. 440 00:18:14,014 --> 00:18:16,147 I know what's up. I listen to podcasts. 441 00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:18,149 You wanna know who I think the Antichrist is? 442 00:18:18,192 --> 00:18:19,672 Greta Thunberg. 443 00:18:19,803 --> 00:18:21,848 With her stupid haircut and her dumb bangs. 444 00:18:21,979 --> 00:18:24,155 Someone should yank out whatever's up her ass. 445 00:18:24,285 --> 00:18:25,983 [snorts] 446 00:18:26,113 --> 00:18:27,158 - I can't. 447 00:18:27,201 --> 00:18:29,290 I just can't! 448 00:18:36,123 --> 00:18:37,777 - Everything all right, bud? 449 00:18:37,864 --> 00:18:39,257 - No, everything's not all right! 450 00:18:39,387 --> 00:18:41,215 I don't know what I'm doing here! 451 00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:43,870 - You're trying to get with the program, bro! 452 00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,742 Peggy Rockbottom is a hot Christian girl, 453 00:18:45,785 --> 00:18:47,656 now stop acting gay! 454 00:18:47,787 --> 00:18:50,224 - Look, I don't know what you think Christianity is, 455 00:18:50,268 --> 00:18:52,792 but it has nothing to do with that. 456 00:18:52,836 --> 00:18:54,315 - What are you saying? 457 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:56,448 - I'm saying that you and a lot of other people 458 00:18:56,578 --> 00:18:59,407 seem to have a very warped sense of what Christianity is. 459 00:18:59,451 --> 00:19:01,061 - Are you questioning my faith? 460 00:19:01,192 --> 00:19:02,976 You wanna fucking go? 461 00:19:03,020 --> 00:19:05,283 - No, I don't want to fucking go. 462 00:19:05,326 --> 00:19:07,764 - You got a problem, bro? - No, I don't have a problem. 463 00:19:07,807 --> 00:19:09,635 You actually have a problem. 464 00:19:09,678 --> 00:19:11,158 You need a way to bully people 465 00:19:11,245 --> 00:19:12,812 and you're using the Bible to do it. 466 00:19:12,856 --> 00:19:14,858 [grunts] 467 00:19:14,901 --> 00:19:18,122 PC PRINCIPAL: You like that? Yeah! You want some more? 468 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,909 - I'm not gonna fight you! 469 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,390 - Damn right you won't, 'cause you're a gay little pussy! 470 00:19:27,392 --> 00:19:28,915 Yeah, don't come back! 471 00:19:29,046 --> 00:19:31,309 You're gonna get some more, bitch! 472 00:19:31,439 --> 00:19:32,963 [Cartman coughing] 473 00:19:33,050 --> 00:19:34,965 PETER: Tell me what it means! 474 00:19:35,052 --> 00:19:37,663 - [laughing, coughing] 475 00:19:37,706 --> 00:19:39,491 - The Lord labored six days 476 00:19:39,534 --> 00:19:41,058 and on the seventh, He rested! 477 00:19:41,188 --> 00:19:43,756 - [laughing] 478 00:19:43,887 --> 00:19:46,628 - You will tell me the significance! 479 00:19:48,717 --> 00:19:51,285 There's nothing more I can do here. 480 00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:54,245 I have to take him to Washington D.C. 481 00:19:54,288 --> 00:19:57,683 - Washington? Oh, no, he can't travel now. 482 00:19:57,814 --> 00:19:59,511 He's very sick. 483 00:19:59,554 --> 00:20:03,515 - Your son is the key to saving our country, Ms. Cartman. 484 00:20:03,645 --> 00:20:06,518 Everything we hold dear could end. 485 00:20:06,561 --> 00:20:08,912 We have to unlock the secrets he holds, 486 00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:12,306 no matter what it takes. 487 00:20:12,437 --> 00:20:15,222 ["Sister Christian" by Night Ranger] 488 00:20:15,309 --> 00:20:18,878 ? ? 489 00:20:18,965 --> 00:20:24,144 - ? Sister Christian, oh, the time has come ? 490 00:20:24,275 --> 00:20:28,453 ? And you know that you're the only one ? 491 00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:32,587 ? To say "OK" ? 492 00:20:32,674 --> 00:20:35,112 ? ? 493 00:20:35,242 --> 00:20:40,378 ? Where you going? What you looking for? ? 494 00:20:40,421 --> 00:20:44,686 ? You know those boys don't wanna play no more ? 495 00:20:44,817 --> 00:20:47,124 ? With you ? 496 00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:49,691 ? It's true 497 00:20:49,822 --> 00:20:52,956 ? ? 498 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:55,915 [driving beat] 499 00:20:56,046 --> 00:21:01,268 ? ? 500 00:21:01,355 --> 00:21:04,054 ? You're motorin' ? 501 00:21:04,141 --> 00:21:09,363 ? What's your price for flight? ? 502 00:21:09,407 --> 00:21:14,716 ? In finding Mr. Right 503 00:21:14,803 --> 00:21:18,329 ? You'll be all right tonight ? 504 00:21:18,372 --> 00:21:21,723 ? 505 00:21:21,854 --> 00:21:23,377 - Fuck yeah, Jesus! 506 00:21:23,421 --> 00:21:25,379 - ? You're motorin' 507 00:21:25,423 --> 00:21:30,602 ? What's your price for flight? ? 508 00:21:30,732 --> 00:21:32,996 ? In finding Mr. Right? ? 509 00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,867 - Let's fucking go, bro! 510 00:21:34,954 --> 00:21:39,350 - Yes, baby! Yes! 511 00:21:39,393 --> 00:21:42,222 - ? Tonight 512 00:21:45,747 --> 00:21:48,576 [theme music] 513 00:21:48,707 --> 00:21:55,583 ? ? 514 00:21:55,633 --> 00:22:00,183 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36910

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