Original subtitles

I'm going down south, I'm gonna have myself time.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation.

I'm going down south, I'm gonna leave my world to hide.

And we're parking day or night, people spouting hot and diverse.

And on up south, I'm gonna see if I can't unwind.

Come on down south out there and meet some friends of mine.

Hey, Herb.

So, you know what this week is, right?

Um, is it Easter?

No! It's my spring break!

No school for seven days!

And guess what? Go pack your things, because you and I are going on a big

romantic trip!

Really? I just came from the travel agent. We're going to spend five nights

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

Oh.

Well, what's the matter?

Myrtle Beach? Really?

We all know what goes on down there.

I don't do that stuff anymore, and neither should you.

Rick, I don't want to go down there to rage. I just want to sit on a beach with

you and watch the sunset.

Yeah, but isn't Myrtle Beach where those places are?

I don't want to go into one of those places.

I don't think they even exist anymore.

Don't you think this is just what we need, Rick? You don't even want to go

one of those places.

Rick, I'm a little old for that. It'd be pretty pathetic if I did.

Well...

Okay. Oh, Rick, we're going to have the best time. I can't wait to spoil you. I

really do need a vacation.

Oh, we're going to have the best spring break of anyone.

All right, guys, you sure you packed everything?

Yeah, that should be all of it. Well, I hope you and Shelly have a great spring

break trip.

I still feel bad us going on a trip while you and Stan stay home.

You guys have fun in Santa Fe. We're going to do some dad and son stuff.

Goodbye, Shelly.

Have fun. I'll miss you.

There should be food enough to last you the week. Yes, yes, don't worry, we'll

be fine.

Bye, Stan, love you.

Love you, man.

Okay, guys, be safe.

Bye.

Oh, yeah, bitches are gone.

Spring break, spring break, spring break.

This is going to be the best spring break ever.

They're going to be gone the whole week.

Bro, what are you doing?

I'm painting miniatures.

Painting mini... Dude, do you not understand?

Your mom and Shelly are gone. We can do whatever we want without any stupid

rules. Whatever I want?

Yeah, dude.

That's what this is all about. Let's do some spring break shit.

Can I see if any of the guys want to come over to do 40K all week?

Hell yeah. Let's do some 40K. What is that?

You don't know Warhammer 40K?

Oh, yeah. Warhammer 40K. Of course. I'm down. Let's do it.

Really? All week? Yeah, dude. You're old enough.

Sweet, I'm going to call Tolkien.

Oh, Rick.

Isn't this nice? This place is incredible.

Yeah, it's really nice.

I just don't know if I deserve all this.

You do deserve it, Rick. You've made me really happy.

Are you almost done?

Yeah, all done. Here you go.

Oh, Rick.

Look at how happy we are.

Oh, that saltwater air is just so good.

Can't wait to try some southern food. You hungry?

Yeah, sure. I could eat. A lot of things are different here in the south. Kind

of hard to figure out what's good.

Yeah, well, the stores and restaurants here aren't like Colorado.

It's almost like another culture.

Herb.

Herb.

Oh, no.

Jeez, it's still here.

You said you wouldn't go into one of these places.

I don't want to go in. I just can't believe some of these places are still

Whoa, look who's here.

What are you doing in town?

Oh, I'm just on vacation.

This is Rick.

Well, do you want to come inside and rally a little bit?

Oh, no thanks. I don't rally anymore.

You sure?

Everyone would love to rally with you again.

I'm sure. I don't need to rally. I'm just here to relax. Take care.

Well, if you change your mind, we'll be here.

America number one!

Number one, yep.

Some people, huh? Jeez.

Okay, so I'm going to have my Retributor Squad attack your Stormhawk

Interceptor. Okay, that has a toughness of seven and a minus one to your hit

rolls.

Okay, so that's three, four, five hits.

Okay, I'm going to roll my saving throw, which is three plus.

What in the actual fuck are you guys doing?

We're playing 40K.

You guys have wasted another day of spring break with this stupid shit.

Do you guys know what spring break is about?

Wet t -shirt contests. Mud wrestling.

Don't you want to get some bitches over here?

I thought you were happy because the bitches were gone.

I'm happy the bitches are gone so we can have bitches over. Spring break is dude

time. But you know what?

Today's society has ruined it all.

They've taught you boys to be ashamed of being boys.

Convinced you that your natural, innate male desires are toxic.

No matter what the liberals try to tell you boys, you shouldn't be ashamed of

your gender.

Okay, Dad. So I've got an Imperium infantry unit within six inches of

so they have a plus six save.

My God.

What are we going to do?

I'm going to sleep.

I'm going to go to sleep now.

Here I go.

To sleep.

Can I help you find anything?

Oh, my God.

Sir, you're back.

Yeah, just browsing.

You guys, it's him. He's here.

He's here?

Is that really you?

What are you doing here?

Could I get a selfie with you?

Hey, since you're here, you want to rally a little bit?

No, no, I can't rally. I've got a serious boyfriend. I'm just looking

Oh, come on. When are you going to be here again?

Live a little.

Well, maybe I could do just a little bit.

I mean, what?

What the hell is up with all these Mexicans, huh?

Yeah! Yeah!

I mean, Joe Biden obviously thinks immigrants are made of gold or

Piece of shit!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

Hey,

Steven. You know your son's been over at my house for spring break?

Yeah, of course I know. Well, you should see what they're doing, because it's a

little...

Well, what are they doing? Look, I just think we better talk with our boys to

counteract all the ways in which society has been pathologizing masculinity.

I mean, you went balls out on spring break, right? Tried to see chicks' boobs

and stuff?

No, I didn't.

Well, no, I mean, you weren't ashamed of being a guy, right?

Like, you went out to the lake and tried to play grab -ass with girls, right?

No, I did not.

Why are you saying that?

Why are you making those words with your mouth?

Oh, hey, Randy. Everything okay with the boys?

Oh, right.

Sorry, sorry, yeah.

Everything's great. They're playing a little table miniatures game. It's

Just came to let you know they're good.

Don't worry.

I'm going to take care of it.

I'll tell you what else. This whole situation in the Ukraine, that wouldn't

happening on my watch.

The problem is, now, we all have a president who's afraid.

And that's why Joe and the ho have got to go.

And I'll tell you another thing.

Oh, hang on a second.

Oh, crap.

Hold on a second, everybody.

Oh, hey,

Rick.

Where are you?

I couldn't sleep, Rick. I was just tossing and turning and I didn't want to

you up, so I decided to come out and buy some sunscreen and stuff for our beach

day tomorrow.

Oh, okay.

I got scared that you were out rallying.

Oh, jeez. Well, that's silly.

Last thing I want to do is rally.

Listen, get back to sleep, Rick. I'll be right home, okay?

Okay. Sorry for panicking.

Bye. Bye -bye.

Okay, nice to meet you, everybody. I need to get going.

Oh, come on. Just rally with us a little bit more. No, I really can't. Just a

few more minutes. Come on.

All right. I guess I can rally just a little bit longer.

I mean, after all, I am here for you. I am your warrior.

Liberal left.

Hunter Biden laptop.

Herb? Herb, you gotta get up. We're gonna miss our whole beach day.

Oh, it's just the time change, Rick.

You enjoy the beach. I just gotta sleep a little longer.

Okay.

Dude, it's so awesome being able to leave Warhammer set up all night and

back to it in the morning. I know, it's great.

Hey, hey, you guys, what did you do?

What do you mean?

I mean the cops are here. What did you guys do?

We're just continuing our game of 40K from last night. Okay, you guys just

because the police want to ask you some questions.

Come on in, officers.

Hello, gentlemen.

Hands up.

We heard somebody in here has been bad.

Oh, no, guys. Looks like you're in big trouble.

You better read them, they're right.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't touch the models. It's been a long time on that.

Stan, stop with that shit. Come on, get into it. Wet t -shirt contest.

Hey, what the fuck?

What? Hey, you a fuck guy.

You did not harass the ladies.

Well, I wanted strippers, not prudes.

You want to talk big, man, huh? You want to be big, man?

Whoa, whoa, okay, I think I need to explain something to you, okay?

Look, I'm just trying to combat the messages that the liberal left is

out to young men about their male instincts being toxic.

The fuck you talking?

You know I'm trying to show my son and his nerdy little friend what a real

is, because society wants them to be ashamed of their masculine natures.

You want the real party? Yeah!

Truth is, I got a whole barn full of weed.

I will... call some friends.

are trying to reach cannot be located.

Please leave a message.

Where are you? I got back from the beach and you were gone?

Please pick up.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

we're going to take Arizona this time?

And when I say we're going to take Arizona in the election, I mean we're

to take it again because we all know I won it last time, too. Oh.

Oh.

Hey, everybody, this is Rick.

Rick? Rick, will you just wait?

You know it's 2 in the morning. I was alone at the hotel while you were out

rallying. I just wanted to rally for a little bit.

Yeah, you really look like you just rallied a little bit.

I got a text that Tucker was in town, and I just wanted to go rally for a

bit. You really think those people care about you, Herb?

They don't.

They just want to do that.

Rick, I got it out of my system now.

We can still have a great vacation. Let's just start over tomorrow, okay?

Sir, do you think you can walk?

No, I don't think so.

Sir, we think you've had too much to drink and we should probably take you to

the hospital.

No, I can't. I have to stay here because I'm in charge of my son.

Today's woke culture has vilified his manhood and made him ashamed of himself.

Okay, sir, but it appears you have a broken arm and several fractured ribs.

Yeah, but I can't leave because my son's natural instincts are being suppressed

and it's leading to behavioral problems.

Do you see what this shit is doing? He's over there playing with dolls.

It's pretty good fondue, right?

We should probably just go back to the hotel. You've got the shakes from

rallying all night.

No, no, Rick. This is our vacation.

I want us to have a nice, romantic lunch.

Maybe we should just go back to Colorado.

No, Rick. I'm going to make this up to you.

I don't want to rally anymore. There's just a lot of people out there who won't

let it go, you know?

Yes, and you can't be around them. I know. I know.

Let me just...

Let me just go throw up because I'll feel much better. Okay, go throw up,

Oh,

God.

Come on, just stop.

Stop. The country is fine.

You have better things to do.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

That's it. Yeah. We're going to get abortion rights thrown the hell out so

dirty lesbians can't keep having abortions. Yeah. Oh, yeah, man. We're

get those Black Lives Matter protesters off the streets with a fire hose.

Yeah, America. Yeah.

Rick. Fuck you.

Well, to hell with you. Nobody controls me.

Yeah. Yeah, America. Yeah.

help you?

We've had some complaints about a party that's been going on for three days

here. Hey, what's going on?

All right, guys, who ordered the stripper?

Can we come in and look around, sir?

Oh, yeah, come on in.

All right, get down on the ground.

Whoa, whoa, no, no, no, it's okay.

I'm just helping my boy through the media assault on manliness.

I need to see some ID, sir.

Oh, okay.

Okay, Stan!

Stan!

Yeah? Can you get my wallet from the upstairs?

Yeah, as soon as we're done with the psycher phase. I have five psycher

Oh, my God, this is so embarrassing.

Hey, freeze! You right there!

That's Alonzo Fininski, the Romanian sex trafficker!

Fuck you, big man!

For those who have been round.

For those who have been betrayed.

And let me tell you that nobody in this country has been betrayed more than my

Ricky Rick.

Rick, I am so sorry.

And if you are out there, I want you to know that I love you.

You are the only thing that keeps me from doing all this stupid stuff.

When I met you, I felt in control of myself for the first time.

There's never been anyone who calmed me down more than my little Ricky Bear.

You are my boo.

Did he just say that Rick is his boo?

The truth is, some of us simply can't be alone.

We need a relationship so that we're accountable to someone.

I realize now how broken I am without that person who keeps me from destroying

myself.

Sharon? And all I've ever done was take you for granted and wished I wasn't

being controlled.

Hi, Sharon.

Will you please come home?

Rick, I am a giant piece of shit without you.

I don't deserve another chance.

You have been wronged.

You have been betrayed.

And the only person who deserves retribution is me.

I know you all really want to rally in rage, but the only thing I have to say

that I love Rick.

I love Rick.

We're back.

I'm sorry I cut your trip short.

It's okay, Randy. You made it longer than last spring break.

Oh, hey, Mom.

Stanley, what have I told you about playing Warhammer on the kitchen table?

Oh, Rick.

I don't want to go through all that again.

I just want to stay in South Park with you.

Well, I guess we'll just have to see what happens.