All language subtitles for South Park - S26E05 - DikinBaus Hot Dogs

I'm going down south, I'm going to have
myself time.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks
without temptation.

I'm going down south, I'm going to leave
my woes behind.

And we're parking day or night, people
shouting, howdy neighbor!

And on the south, I'm going to see if I
can't unwind.

Come on down south, I'm going to meet
some friends of mine.

Butters, what the hell are you wearing?

I got a job over at the ice cream shop.
And guess what? I got my very first

paycheck.

That's not fair. I want a paycheck.

My dad told me if I got a job, we could
put my paychecks in my very own bank

account. I want a bank account.

I didn't know kids could get jobs.

Yeah, well, I guess these days it's real
hard for businesses to find people to

work, so they'll take whatever they can
get. I want to take whatever I can get.

It's what they call the Great
Resignation Labor Shortage. So now if

your parents' permission, there's some
jobs you'll even let kids do. That is

messed up.

Why does he get to have a job? I want a
job. You wouldn't last four hours on a

job, fat ass. Excuse me?

That's easy for you to say. You don't
need a job because you live in a nice

house. I have to live in a shithole like
Kenny does.

It's not fair that some people in our
country are given the opportunity for

employment while others aren't.

I'm going to tell my mom.

Ma 'am, ma 'am, I need your permission
to get a job.

Oh, you're too young to have a job,
sweetie.

But who's got a job?

Ma 'am, look at this shithole we live
in.

Somebody has to get a job because you
just sit on your ass all day.

I had a job, Eric, but you got me fired
because you wanted me taking care of

you, and that's why we had to sell our
house.

Yes, right, because I'm the man of the
house.

You're supposed to take care of me, and
I'm supposed to go get a job.

You really expect us to live like this
the rest of our lives?

This is not a proper place to raise a
child.

You have to let me go find a job, Mom.

Eric, the truth is I don't think you'd
last four hours at a job.

Oh, now you sound like Cal.

Do you run Hollywood with him? Are you a
Jew, too, Mom?

All right, Eric, fine.

You want to go get a job and have a
little dose of reality?

Maybe it'll be good for you.

Thanks, Mom.

I love you.

Okay, and the pistachio maple cream. Let
me know if you need extra napkins for

your table and have a creamy day.

Oh, hey, Eric.

Hey, Butters. I'm here for my job.

What are you talking about? My mom gave
me permission. I can start work now.

What do I do?

Well, but Eric, this is my job.

Yeah, I want your job. Sitting around
eating ice cream. Sounds fun.

Eric, there's a lot more to it than
that, and I already do this, Sheldon. Is

everything all right, Butters?

Oh, yes, Mr. Sheldon. I was just...
Hello, sir.

I'm a dear friend of Butters. He told me
all about this place and said I should

get permission from my mom to work here.

Oh, well, I do need all the help I can
get.

Butters, can you vouch for him? Is he
trustworthy and reliable?

Uh, well... Um, okay.

All right, well, let's find him a
uniform and you can start training him.

Hey, man, I got a job.

All right, Eric, so there's three types
of ice cream. Waffle cone, sugar cone,

and cups.

Uh -huh, and when do we get to have
breaks?

Well, you get a ten -minute break every
two hours, but only after you check all

the freezers, which are right over there
and need to always be set to zero

degrees. Okay, and how much longer do we
have to be here?

Eric, please, I don't want to lose this
job. Oh, hello, sir. Hope you're having

a creamy day. What can I get for you?

Can I have a single scoop of coconut
almond fudge?

Okay. Eric, can you scoop out some
coconut almond fudge?

Why? Because it's your job, Eric.

Whoa, Butters. Let's not make this a
toxic work environment, okay?

One second, sir. I'll get that scoop.

Yeah, I got a job in an ice cream shop.

Yeah, it's dumb as hell, but I'm going
to start getting paychecks.

Butters, what is this about?

Oh, sorry, sir.

Eric? Yeah, no, she's pretty hot, but
she's got droopy boobs.

Eric! Eric, you can't just sit there at
a table.

Yeah, I can. It's Monday.

So? So haven't you heard of bare minimum
Mondays? It's a thing that young people

have created because we care about our
mental health. I don't care if it's bare

minimum Mondays. Eric, you need to
come... Oh, break time.

I'll be back.

Butters. Butters, we've got to line out
the door. People are getting upset.

I know, sir. I'm sorry.

Well, where is your friend?

He hasn't come back from his break yet.

Butters, stop.

Yes? Delivery for you.

Hey, Butters.

Eric, where are you?

I wasn't feeling the best, so I decided
to work from home.

Butters, what's going on?

Eric says he's going to work from home.
How can he work from home? This is an

ice cream shop.

Yeah, no, because, see, I'm actually
taking a mental health day. Yeah, young

people can just ask for a mental health
day, and employers can't deny them. It's

my mental health day.

Eric, you need to come here right now,
or we're both going to get fired.

Okay, I guess so.

But don't forget that tomorrow is Take
It Easy Tuesdays.

Okay, thanks for coming, and have a
creamy day.

Hi, hope you're having a creamy day. Can
I help you?

You know what's total boat crap,
butters?

It's how much money the owner of this
place is making while we're out here

busting our asses. I mean, what does
that old fart even do?

Eric, could you please fill this nice
lady's order?

Oh, yes. Let me get that for you, Masha.
Right away now.

I mean, seriously, Butters. Why do we
have to work for the owner? We know how

do all this stuff now. We don't even
need that guy.

There has to be a way we could turn the
tables.

There has to be a way we could make all
the money.

Wait a minute.

Kenny, you're not going to believe this,
but I just quit my job.

You had a job?

Yes, I had a job.

But I got fed up.

Sick of working my fingers to the bone
for some piece of shit owner.

And that's when it hit me.

Kenny, we should open a restaurant.

You know the hot dog I've been living
in?

It's an old, like, historic landmark.

It's been sitting right in front of us,
completely ready to go.

All it would take is some minor
renovations.

And some care.

We could make it awesome with, like, fun
things for kids to do and rides and

games. A place that people from all over
Colorado would want to come and see.

And we would be the owners.

And we could have all the hot dogs we
wanted.

Whoa.

Aren't you sick of living like this,
Kitty?

All we need is an investor and we can
make our dreams come true.

And I know somebody who has a bank
account and gets paychecks every week.

No.

Butters, don't you want to invest your
money in something that matters?

That's why we came to your bank to offer
you this awesome deal.

What we can do, Eric, is set up a line
of credit for an LLC, which then pays

back not only your investment, but also
principal in the company.

But I like my ice cream shop. I don't
want to open a hot dog.

No, you keep working at the ice cream
shop.

We're going to open the hot dog. All you
do is collect the money as the

investor. Yeah, but this is my money. I
worked hard for it.

Butters, it's just like, you're lucky,
you know? You have money. But look at

Kenny. Can you imagine what it's like
for him?

Watching rich white boys like you just
collecting paycheck after paycheck while

he wallows in the filth of his tiny
house?

The filth?

Butters, Kenny deserves a chance to be
able to work like you do.

Please, give him that chance.

I just give a bit of my paycheck every
week to you guys?

And we pay you back as soon as we make
our first dollar, Butters. You have my

word on it.

Okay.

Guys,

we're going into the restaurant
business.

I'm taking what they're giving because
I'm working for a living.

I'm thinking what they're giving because
I'm working for a living.

This is going to be the best restaurant
in Colorado, Keeney.

And I know exactly what we should name
it.

Tom, I'm standing out front of a
Colorado icon, the old Coney Island Hot

where the owners plan to reopen soon.

The hot dog stand is going through major
renovations, and the new name has just

been announced.

Dick and Bo's Hot Dogs is sure to be a
big hit here in town.

He said it!

The owners say they're planning on all
kinds of rides and games, and also with

each hot dog served here at Dick and Boz
Hot Dogs, they actually use the ketchup

to put a nice little smiley face on the
plate.

The renovations are supposed to be
finished soon, and the new owners are

inviting everyone to come on down,
enjoy, and let Dick and Boz put a smile

your buns.

Let Dick and Bob put a smile on your
face.

Oh, hey, Butters. We have some of those
first quarter projections to show you.

Do you have the first quarter
projections, Kenny?

Are you guys just playing around?

No, we are renovating and opening an
amazing restaurant that will be

profitable. Then why did you name it
Dick and Bob's?

Butters, you are the investor. We are
the creatives. Well, stop being creative

and open the goddamn restaurant so I can
get my money back. So stop digging

around and wasting my money.

Butters. At Dick and Bob's, dicking
around is all we do.

Dicking around the competition.

Enough renovations.

Mom, no offense, but will you shut your
mouth because you know nothing about the

restaurant business.

Excuse me, are you guys the owners?

Yes, we are the owners.

Well, we got your zip line put in, but
this asphalt is so old it's not going to

hold the eyeballs.

So what does that mean? I think you've
got to re -asphalt the entire parking

area or just lose the zip line.

Well, obviously we're not going to lose
the zip line, so let's see what we can

do. All right, well, then over here on
your mermaid grotto.

The mermaid is in, but she can't
actually spit water because there's no

underneath. Jesus Christ. Well, I guess
we've got to find a way to add plumbing.

All right, everyone. It's looking good,
but we have a ways to go. I don't know

about you, but I am exhausted.

I think we should just all take the rest
of the day off because it is Let's Not

Work Too Hard Wednesdays. All right.

So, hey, Mom and Dad. You must be so
tired from selling all that ice cream.

Well, yeah, it was a pretty long night.

A long night, he says.

That's great, Butters.

Only problem is, if you're really
working at a job, then why is there zero

dollars in your bank account?

What? So now what are you really doing,
young man?

Zero dollars, but I've been working
every day.

Oh, sure.

I know exactly how it is.

You say you have to work so you can get
out of the house, get away from the

family, and you go down to that glory
hole down on 4th and Larimer. Oh, my

Butters! And while your family thinks
you're at your job, you're actually

strapped face down on a bed at the
Brighton Motel, taking any load you can

on Adult Friend Finder.

It's the lies!

It's the lies! I can't take anymore!

I'm going to go to the office and get
some work done!

It's the stupid bank.

Hey, Butters.

Butters. Butters.

Butters. Butters.

Butters, will you relax?

Where's all the money gone from my bank
account?

You said to get things moving. We needed
the funds to go faster.

You said you'd never access my account
without my permission.

Butters, we're about to reopen a
historic landmark that means something

people. You think I'm just doing all
this for the fun of it? Hang on a

We're creating jobs, Butters, and we're
helping people.

Then open this stupid place, Eric.

Fine. We'll start hiring tomorrow
morning, and we'll be open by the

And trust me, Butters, when we open, and
you see how successful it is, you're

going to apologize to me.

What the hell is going on? Why is nobody
showing up?

I don't know.

Hey, hey, excuse me.

You want to come work at Dick and Bas
for minimum wage?

No.

That's because your generation is lazy.

You got all comfy during the pandemic.
Nobody knows how to work anymore.

They're saying you people here might
have a job.

Oh, yes. Please, have a seat.

Um, so, uh, what kind of experience do
you have?

Well, I was working down at the Bud
factory in Fort Collins, but then Joe

caused a recession, so they took my job.

Oh. Then I worked over at Waffle House,
but they decided they needed employees

to be more inclusive, so they took my
job.

So, hold up. And then I got let go from
the bowling alley, and all I want is a

damn job.

Well, I believe that we here at Dick and
Bob's would like to hire you

immediately. Okay.

Can I work from home?

What? No, you can't work from home. It's
a hot dog stand.

Well, I could work here, but I'll need
mental health days off to deal with the

toxic environment.

Where do people get this stuff?

All right, fine. Never mind. We don't
want to hire you. You're going to take

job. They took my job.

They took my job.

Good morning, everyone.

After an exhaustive search for
employees, we have determined that you

best of the best.

Yes, um, we're sure you're excited to be
part of the Dick and Boz team, and

we're certainly glad to have you here.

We're happy to be here.

Shut up, Scott. Now listen, it's going
to take dedication and drive to get this

place open. Isn't that right, Kenny?

Sorry, Kenny's working from home today
because it's his mental health day.

Okay.

Now, there may not be many of us, but in
order to open, we're going to have to.

Do I get mental health days, too?

Oh, here we go.

Fine, Clyde. What days do you need to
have mental health days?

Well, how should I know until I'm
feeling mentally unhealthy?

God damn it, you guys. It isn't going to
work like this, okay?

And I'm also going to need five -minute
breaks every hour to check my insulin

levels. You're fucking joking.

This is a goddamn restaurant, you guys.
There's no time for diabetes.

You don't hear Mrs. Anderson complaining
about her time off.

I don't work enough thinking Thursday.

Oh, that's it.

That's it. I give up.

It's impossible to open any kind of
business these days when this generation

doesn't know how to work.

Hey, fellas.

Oh, great. Now the bank is here.

Scrooge McButters to collect on his
money. You haven't made any money.

Butters, the truth is we tried.

The fact of the matter is the U .S.
government failed this generation by

shutting down businesses in the
pandemic, and now they don't know how to

back. I'm sorry, but we lost all your
money.

But there is a good side to this.

Because as you can see, I now have a
house that has slides and games and a

mermaid grotto, and you can come and
hang out all you want.

There you are, Miss Dixie.

Oh, look at the little smile on the
plate, honey.

Oh, you like that, don't you?

You guys, it's working. We're doing it.

Hey,

that's a pretty good hot dog. I just
love they have all the... fun stuff for

kids to do here.

Hey, great job, kid.

You really did it, Eric.

Congratulations, Eric. You're a hero.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Well, congratulations, young man. Dick
and Bob's Hot Dogs is a big success, and

here's your first return on your
investment.

I'm sure there's many more to come.

Oh, I made my money back, huh?

Yeah, what I'm thinking, Butters, is
that we should grow your business by

applying for a corporate loan, which
could pay you dividends as you expand

company into new areas.

Yeah, I wasn't thinking that.

See, all I ever wanted was just to do my
job, learn how to work, and help Mr.

Sullivan sell ice cream.

So I'm thinking I'm actually going to
conduct a market analysis to look for

potential buyers and roll over the
company as big as a strategy.

Well, you could do that, but I think
you'd have trouble getting investors who

will commit major capital for just
partial ownership.

Yeah, so that's why I want to approach
overseas investors who will buy the IP,

the restaurant operations, and the real
estate outright.

But you couldn't do that because there's
already tenants in the building who

have to be relocated.

Yeah, I thought of that, too. Come on
in.

Wait, so you two have already discussed
some kind of deal?

Oh, yes.

Butters and I have been talking, and we
think that my little Eric deserves to

get exactly what he's been wanting for a
long time.

Now, what are you doing?

Dick and Buzz is mad!

You can't stop Dick and Buzz!

Now, take me back! Now!

Please! Does this picture go over here,
Ms. Cartman?

Oh, yeah. Yes, that's perfect. Thank
you.

What is it? The new owners paid for us
to have our old house back.

I don't want my old house. I want
Dinkin' Bad.

Come on.

There you go, Eric. It's your old room,
just like you always wanted.