Original subtitles

I'm going down south, I'm gonna have myself some time.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation.

I'm going down south, I'm gonna leave my woes to hide.

And we're parking day or night, people spouting hot and diverse.

And on up south, I'm gonna see if I can't unwind.

Come on down south, I've been a good friend of mine.

Bye.

Bye. Bye.

I send Stan a text, he just responds with a thumbs -up emoji.

Yeah, well, Clyde is just really into me.

Oh, he's texting back.

Yes, I do care about you that much. You mean a lot to me, and I care deeply

about you.

Aww! He sure is in love with me, baby.

He's a goddamn dreamboat!

Hey, Stan, is there a time we could talk today?

I'm feeling a little insecure about some things.

Hey, Clyde, can I talk to you?

Sure, bro.

Well, um, Wendy just came up to me and was acting all hurt because she thinks I

don't care about her.

When she said that she wishes I would reply to her texts the way that Clyde

responds to Bebe's, so, like, how do you do it?

Chat GPT, dude.

Chat GPT?

Yeah, dude.

There's a bunch of apps and programs you can subscribe to that use OpenAI to do

all your writing for you.

People use them to write poems, write job applications, but what they're

good for is dealing with chicks.

Here, check it out.

There's tons of Chat GPT apps for your phone.

So then I can take whatever latest dumb thing Bebe texted me, I copy it, Then I

open the GPT app, click respond to, paste her text here, hit write. It just

thinks for a second.

You would look great with any length of hair. Trying a new look could be fun.

Copy that into messages and send it off.

It's super easy and convenient, and it saves me a ton of time because she texts

me so goddamn much.

Jesus Christ!

It probably won't do it, but thanks for being supportive.

Cut, paste, write, cut, messages, paste, send. There.

All done with her stupid shit.

This is a real app. It'll completely change your life, bro.

Just, uh, just don't tell anybody, huh? If Bebe found out, I'd be a dead man.

The ink on the paper makes me nervous.

I nearly lose my vision.

And then my breath and my pulse and my mind quicken.

Head below my knees, I come alive.

With every stroke of every letter and every line you write, keeps me awake

thinking back. Oh, my first sight of you was my first heart attack.

I can't resist.

And I don't want to fight Will you be held?

Will you be touched?

By my hand through this paper Is this all too much?

Will we be rabid? Will we be true?

To somebody perfect Somebody like you I'm tired of yearning I'm tired

of learning I need to drink My heart has been burning

Didn't get what?

You asked me if I wanted a bedtime story about frogs or a song about swans. I

said a bedtime story.

Oh, yeah, I wrote it. I'll send it to you right now. Okay.

Okay, children, let's take our seats.

I've graded your midterm essays, and I have to say, for the most part, they

terrible. However, there were some essays that I'm very happy with.

There was a really great essay from Clyde on the 1840s labor unions and

effect on the Industrial Revolution.

Let's hear it for Clyde, kids.

Great work, Clyde. Thank you. Thank you.

Uh -huh.

What? Someone who never writes good essays, Butters, wrote an amazing piece

on... Post -Cold War Poland and the Changing Provision of Security.

Check plus, Butters.

Thanks.

And we also have another student who wrote a shockingly good paper. This

called A Feminist Neoliberal Perspective of Post -War Afghanistan by Eric

Cartman. Ah, yes. Thank you. Thank you.

And this week we have a new student to the Check Plus Club for an amazing essay

called Writing a policy about improving the rights of migrant workers.

Let's hear it for Stan.

All right, what the hell is going on? You tell me what's going on.

Clearly, somebody told Stan about ChatGPT.

You guys are using it to write essays, too.

Yes, we are all using it. And we had a pact that we wouldn't tell anyone else

because then everyone will start using it and Mr. Garrison will figure it out.

So who fucking blabbed to Stan?

I just told Stan about it as a tool to text his girlfriend.

God damn it, Clive. You don't use an amazing AI cheating tool to talk to

You're going to ruin everything.

This can't be open source, you guys. If everyone starts using ChatGPT, then we

lose our unfair advantage.

If they find out that we don't have to work anymore, then they are going to

to work, and then we're all screwed.

Who's the one who first found ChatGPT and thought to use it for essays?

Butters. Right. But then Butters told me about it, and I told him not to tell

anyone else.

Right. But then you went and blabbed about it to Clyde.

That's right.

I was a little excited.

You guys, I'm not going to tell anyone else.

You really think I want Wendy finding out about this thing?

Fine. So we're all in it together.

But you guys need to be careful what you use it for.

Because once you bring girls into things, they're going to ruin it.

Just like slavery.

Ugh.

Oh, God, I can't take it, Rick.

What's the matter?

I was just grading these stupid papers all the time. I have to read them all

comment on each one of them. Jesus Christ.

Something's changed, and now a few of the kids are writing these really long,

detailed essays.

I don't know what's going on. I guess I just taught them really well. Maybe a

bit too well.

Uh, yeah.

Have you ever heard of ChatGPT?

ChatGP who's a what? The fuck is that?

There's a few apps now, really. But see, it has AI and takes any subject matter

and can instantly give you whatever kind of content you want.

Wait a minute.

There's an app that anyone can use that does all the thinking and writing for

you? Yeah.

Well, this is going to be amazing. I can use it to grade all my papers and no

one will ever know.

Uh, yeah, sure.

I'll just type the title of the essay in and it'll generate a comment and I

don't even have to read the stupid things.

Yeah, and then you'll have more free time.

Oh, this is great. Thanks so much.

Just got to make sure nobody finds out I'm being sneaky.

Oh, and hey, Rick.

Yeah? Thanks for all the replies to my text today.

They were really supportive.

Oh. Yeah.

Sure thing.

This place is good, right?

Yeah, it's really good.

Well, I know it's not much, but I just wanted to take you out somewhere to say

thanks, Stan.

For what?

For stepping up and working on communication when I asked you to.

Oh, that's cool.

The things we've talked about, Stan...

It's really helping me.

I don't feel so alone and misunderstood.

I've been so scared for so long to tell anyone what happened to me when I was

six.

Yeah. And everything you had to say about it was just right.

It really changed the way I think about the whole thing.

Yeah.

And when you said the same thing happened to you, I couldn't believe it.

Were you home when it happened?

Yep. But you're right. We can't dwell on those things.

You're right about a lot of stuff.

There was just that one thing I don't understand.

About the boating accident in Switzerland?

The boating accident in Switzerland was tough.

I thought you said it was great.

It was great.

And very tough.

But how did it cause the thing with your cousin?

Oh, shit. What time is it?

It's a little after four.

Oh, shit, my mom told me to be home right at a little after four. Sorry,

I got to get going.

No, no, no, that's totally okay. I got to get going, too.

Okay, cool.

Thank you so much, Stan.

Thank you for being the only real thing in my life.

Oh, baby, your name is like a song.

A melody stuck in my head so long.

I can't help but smile when I hear it said, Bebe, the name always in my head.

Oh, God, so obvious.

I dream of spending my days with you, Bebe, in South Park or anywhere that may

be.

Talking, laughing, just being together in a dream I hope will last forever.

Excuse me, Mr. Garrison.

Mr. Garrison! Oh, yeah, what?

I'm sorry, but I need to address your class really quick.

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.

Go ahead.

Okay, kids, I need to discuss a very serious matter.

There's a rumor going around that someone at this school is using open AI

technology to do their work.

Well, that's crazy.

Who would do that?

Now, I know that everyone at this school is honest.

Hardworking. Wouldn't even want to use this chat GBD.

Chat GBD?

Okay. But the school board has decided to call in a company that can detect AI

in school work and make sure nobody here is cheating.

They're going to what?

So, we're just going to collect all the schoolwork that we can.

And we're going to have them analyzed for any AI contributions.

Well, those aren't quite ready.

Don't worry, we'll get these all back to you after the testers look through

them. Okay, kids, sorry for the intrusion. Get back to your day.

God fucking damn it! I told you guys this was going to happen! What are we

to do?

There's nothing we can't do. It's over. We've lost our unfair advantage.

That's not what's important. If they find out I've been using open AI for

Wendy's going to know I've been using it with her, and it's going to crush her.

Dude, same.

Baby's going to fucking kill me.

And whose fault is that, you guys? I told you that once you bring women into

things, they ruin it just like they did slavery.

Okay, Eric, could you explain exactly how women ruin slavery?

No, I can't, because I can't use fucking chat GPT anymore because we got fucking

busted. Look, maybe, maybe this AI detection technology won't work.

It doesn't matter if it doesn't work.

Cat is out of the bag now. This was supposed to be our thing, for us to get

ahead. But now... God damn it, get the fuck out of here!

Okay, I'm just a little confused.

You think we shouldn't have the kids' schoolwork analyzed for using AI writing

apps? Look, it's just... It's really unfair to the kids.

I mean, what are we saying, that we don't trust them?

I mean, jeez!

But don't you think if kids aren't writing their own papers, we should

Oh, what are people afraid of? That AI is going to replace real writers?

That Hollywood is going to become just a bland recycling of old ideas?

It already is!

AI might help it!

Well, I don't know what you want me to do.

Yes? Mr. Mackey, the technician from the school advisory board just pulled into

the parking lot.

Someone here using AI technology to do their classwork?

If there is Chad GPT being used here, I will find it.

Shadowbane, fly!

Uh,

hello? I'm the counselor here at South Park Elementary. This is one of our

teachers, Mr. Garrison.

Have been hired by the Park County School Board to determine if any

using generative AI technology to do their work.

Yes, we're excited to work with you. We have a lot of great students here.

It only takes one student.

And then it spreads like a cancer.

Come, Shadowbane.

Let us find this chat GPT using Cheetah.

I'm going to get fired.

That's it.

Mr. Garrison, can I talk to you?

Oh, is it important, Stan, because I'm kind of dealing with some stuff right

now?

Yes, it is important.

You know, when you've done something wrong, sometimes the best thing to do is

just come out and admit it.

Okay.

Okay, you're right.

How did you find out?

Clyde told me about it.

I came to you because if they find out something about me... and you punish me,

it's going to really hurt Wendy.

I don't want to punish anyone, Stan.

I completely understand.

You do?

Sure. I think most of the world does.

I mean, why does it matter who uses AI apps?

It's just like having a good writer's assistant.

Yeah, like a good writer's assistant.

Yeah. I mean, you're still the one taking the time to, like, push the

and stuff.

Yeah. So you really don't think Wendy would be upset I used ChatGPT to respond

to her texts?

Hold on.

People can use it to respond to other people's texts?

Rick, that lying piece of shit.

But we were just saying it was understandable. No, this is totally

Whoever uses it for messages is a fucking monster.

Okay, everyone, please just stay calm.

They got it. They found the kid that's been using the AI app.

Get back.

Get back, all of you. I have the student isolated inside.

What exactly have you found?

We went through thousands of papers, but then Shadowbane detected chatbot

writing in this student's phone.

There, you see? Going crazy.

Oh, no.

What is going on?

Oh, God.

No, no, no, no. The GPT stuff on her phone didn't come from her. Keep all the

children back, Mackie.

We can't let it spread.

I will go inside and get her confession.

I've been cheating on your schoolwork.

No, I haven't.

Say it!

You have used Chad's EGPT to write your essays for you. Now humble yourself

before the school!

I write my own essays.

I don't know what to do.

I'm not creative enough to think of a way out of this.

Wait.

That's it.

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Stan who lived in South Park.

Stan loved his girlfriend very much, but lately he hadn't been truthful with

her.

One day, when Stan got to school, he was approached by his best friend.

Dude, did you hear what happened to your girlfriend?

No, what about her? Dude, she got caught cheating on her essay.

Just then, Stan noticed a commotion down the hallway.

This student is going to jail for cheating.

Drugs are bad, okay?

Hold it right there!

Look, everyone, we can't blame people who are using ChatGPT. It's not their

fault. Well, whose fault is it?

I'll tell you who. It's the giant tech companies who took OpenAI, packaged it,

monetized it, and pushed it out to all of us as fast as they could in order to

get ahead.

OpenAI is so powerful that it has to be something that everyone can use,

control, and contribute to, or else AI will be controlled by corporations who

just want an unfair advantage like Cartman does.

Ah! Screw you, you dumb jeep!

We don't want big corporations deciding what's ethical and acceptable for AI. We

were all taken advantage of, and that's why my girlfriend would totally

understand that I used ChatGBD to respond to her texts.

That's right.

Well, I guess we can let you go now, ma 'am.

I will find these tech companies who are trying to use OpenAI for their own

gains, and I will stop them.

Okay, kids, I think we can all go home, okay?

Everyone was happy, and Stan's girlfriend completely forgave him.

Thanks for saving me, Stan.

You're welcome, sweetheart.

Class dismissed.

Yay!

Boy,

I'm sure glad that's over with.

Yeah, but I'm still really not sure what just happened.

Well, now at least we know that sometimes a good old thumbs up from a

better than a machine -generated lie.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right, Stan.

I love you.

Dude, how did you pull all that off?

Chat GPT, dude.