Original subtitles

Previously on Desperate Housewives.

Mrs.? Not just yet. What is it you want? I want to learn your business from the

ground up, and then I want to help you expand it. Bree.

Mr. Allen.

Hired a new employee.

Now you can sit.

You should be saying, great, Anna, go for it.

Gabby thought she had ended a romance.

Where's Danny? New York. Danny went to find Anna.

You have to leave.

Robin was asked to go, but Catherine had a change of heart.

Preston Scavo was finally coming home from Europe, and his family was

what kind of souvenirs he'd be bringing them.

His brother wanted an army knife from Switzerland.

His sister wanted some wooden shoes from Holland.

His father wanted some cheese from Bavaria.

And his mother, well, all she wanted was to hold her little boy in her arms.

guess who's back but she'd soon discover her little boy wasn't so little anymore

oh mom you're huge i know well look at

you porter now you don't have to grow a mustache to see how bad it would look

would you bring me oh penny he just walked in give him a chance to unpack

give me my cheese Actually, I do have a little surprise.

Oh, there's plenty of time for that. You've been traveling all day. You

want to take a shower or a nap.

I kind of need to do this now.

Yeah, Mom, you are really going to want to see the surprise.

Okay, I'm a little nervous.

Maybe I should explain. No, you don't need to explain. I'm sure we're going to

love it.

Everyone, I'd like you to meet Irina.

Hello.

I am finally to meet the lovely Preston family.

Nice to meet you, Irina.

Preston didn't say he was bringing a friend.

Oh, she's more than a friend, Mom.

We're in love.

Yes.

Preston Scavo had returned from his trip with a beautiful souvenir.

And his mother would soon whiz.

He hadn't.

Sometimes you must wash away the mud to reveal that sparkling yellow underneath.

Sometimes you must carry the flower into the sunlight to appreciate the redness

of the rose.

Sometimes you have to take off the wrapping to understand just how green a

can be.

And if you want to see a woman's true colors, just make her feel.

Unnecessary.

Anna, you're doing it again.

But you can't see my face.

This is a tool calendar.

It's going to be hanging in some fat mechanic's basement.

And he won't be looking at your face.

I came to New York to be a fashion model.

I came to make art films.

Isn't life funny?

I'm getting a donut. You have two minutes for an attitude adjustment.

Hey, Anna.

What are you doing here?

I've been looking everywhere for you. You wasted your time. We broke up.

We were broken up by your aunt.

She doesn't care about your career. All she's ever cared about is keeping us

apart.

That's why she sent you here.

Oh, my God.

That's why the agency's only been sending me out on these crappy jobs.

It don't make sense now.

We got a lot of catching up to do.

Can we go somewhere and talk?

Come on, January. Time is money.

I quit.

Gabby? You in here?

Yeah? I need Anna's address in New York. I'm on my way to the airport.

Why would you need that?

Because Danny ran off to find her.

Well, I will save you the trip.

If Danny finds Anna, she'll send him packing.

She wants nothing to do with your son.

She'll tell you herself.

Hey, this is Anna. Leave a message.

And if you're my Aunt Gabby, I know what you did.

Drop dead.

Hold that cab. I'm coming with you.

Hey.

Wow. Aren't you a little overdressed for bacon and eggs?

And butter toast.

Oh, butter toast. Well, if I'd known that, I would have worn my formal

So?

Do you like it? I got the check from the sale of the strip club, and I decided

to treat myself.

Plus, I figured I needed something to wear when we go to Chez Naomi.

Chez Naomi?

Why don't we just stay home and eat money?

Because you promised to take me there to celebrate paying your business loan

off. I'm sorry, but that loan is years away from being paid off. Not anymore.

I took care of it.

You did what?

With the check I got.

What the hell did you do that for?

Okay. What I think you meant to say was, thanks, Susan, you're the best wife

ever. That loan was my responsibility.

You were paying 9 % interest. You were never going to pay that loan off.

Look, I appreciate it. But in the future, just check with me first, okay?

Okay. I'm going to take out the trash.

Now?

Lee's getting his mail.

He can't see my new dress in here.

Think about it. You already specialize in comfort food.

Marry that with a Creole or Cajun twist.

It's a no -brainer.

It's brilliant. I love it.

You love what?

Sam just came up with the idea for my next cookbook.

Down Home Cooking with Mrs.

Vandekamp. Thank you, Sam.

My darling Sam, I couldn't make it through the day without you.

What was that?

It's the dedication page to your new cookbook, I'm guessing.

Oh, and I have your first recipe.

Apple brown nose Betty.

That's Sam's specialty.

Since when is hard work brown nosing? That young man is the first one here

morning and the last one to leave at night.

Yeah, well, it takes a lot of time to turn all that water into wine.

Well, I am sorry you don't appreciate him. I think he's tremendous.

In fact, I have decided to give him a promotion.

A promotion of what?

Vice President.

Hey, check my stationery. I'm Vice President. Well, a company can have more

one. There's plenty of work to go around.

I don't believe this.

You barely know the guy. I'm your son.

I know you don't understand this now, but I am doing what I think is best for

both of us.

Remember that, Senate. You'll be hearing it the day I put you in a nursing home.

Did I wake you?

No, I didn't get much sleep last night. What's going on? I was just on my way to

buy some overpriced shoes to go with my overpriced dress.

You want to come?

Oh, thanks, but it's not a good time.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, fine.

Gotta go.

Please don't shut me out, Catherine.

Now that you're home from the hospital, I want us to go back to the way we used

to be.

There was a time...

You and I could tell each other anything.

Hey, Susan.

Morning, hon. I'll go make a coffee.

So, anything you want to tell me?

Yeah.

Are you Rose DeLuca?

Why?

I think you're my grandma.

Tyler?

So after we get to Manhattan, what's our plan?

We go to Anna's modeling agency.

I know that world. It's all interconnected.

Someone will know someone who knows where they are.

How do you know that world? Were you a model?

Yeah. You didn't know?

Big time. I was even on the cover of Vogue.

Really? What happened?

I decided I wanted a different kind of life and married Carlos.

Wow. Good for you.

So?

What? It's just I shared something about my path and I know nothing about yours.

Like where you grew up or where you lived before moving to Fairview?

Oh, my past isn't that interesting.

Oh, come on. I shared stuff about me.

Telling me you were a supermodel is not sharing. It's bragging. It's not

bragging when it's the truth.

And the fact is, I was very successful.

Well, if you were so successful, how come I've never heard of you before?

Because you had to be looking in a fashion magazine.

And I doubt you were ever doing that.

Are we done sharing?

Oh, yeah.

Wow, so Paris, Prague, Madrid. It sounds like you guys saw everything.

But you still haven't told us how you two met.

Well, the first time I saw Reena was on the beach in Nice.

It was a... Are you saying English?

Toptopolis? Yes.

Wow, you really did see everything.

I was so embarrassed to show my breasts in public.

Well, clearly you've gotten over that.

Sweetie, would you give me a hand?

Oh, sure.

Can you finish?

Oh, thanks, Mom. Uh -huh.

Why are you being so rude?

Because I love that boy more than anything in the world, and there is no

hell he could get a woman that hot. So what does she want?

Fine, eating out of it. Remind me to high -five him later.

Get back over there. Be nice.

Here you go.

Thank you.

You have given me so much beautiful food.

You're welcome.

And you have beautiful boots.

Preston buys these for me in Paris.

300 euros.

Almost 400 American, yes?

I remember sending you money in Paris for an emergency.

I didn't realize it involved footwear.

Fine. I'll pay you back out of my college fund.

Your son is so generous.

You know, he promised to take me to the shopping spree in real American malls.

I hear people pay $80 for T -shirts.

Well, here in America, people are willing to pay a lot for beautiful

I'm sorry, the water was running. Did you just say Catherine is a leprechaun?

Lesbian. Catherine is a lesbian.

Okay, the first one made more sense.

Apparently, the other night, Catherine and Robin got a little drunk. Hold it.

Robin? Yeah.

She's a leprechaun, too.

Wow.

Catherine and Robin.

Okay, okay. You can just get the image out of your head, and I can tell you

anything else.

This is too weird.

Well, a lot of people discover they're gay later in life.

No, I mean, how could she go from being with me to being with women?

Oh, Mike, she was probably leaning that way already. She was lucky to have you.

You were a nice transition.

What? Well, you know, I mean, when you make love, you're so gentle and you

like to cuddle.

So what are you saying, that I make love like a woman?

No, no, I'm saying that you are a well -balanced man who is in touch

with his feminine side.

I don't even have a feminine side.

Mike, come on.

It's what I love about you.

You cry at movies. Movie! One movie, Brian's song.

And the notebook.

Tears of boredom.

Mike! I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Why is Daddy yelling?

He may have turned a woman into a leprechaun.

Look, you can complain about Irina all you like. I think she's nice.

Please, your opinion of her was set once you heard the word topless.

That reminds me.

Did Preston take any pictures on this trip?

Tom, I was there when she unpacked her suitcase.

Preston, buy me this.

Preston, buy me that. I am telling you, that woman is, how do you say, a gold

digger.

You know, if you're right, she'll move on soon enough.

Yeah.

Yeah?

I need to talk to you guys.

I know that look. He's come to his senses.

I proposed to Irina.

And she said yes.

Okay, I don't know that look at all.

You proposed?

But you've only known each other for a few months.

Yeah, but she's the one.

I know it.

Oh, honey.

Wake up.

What's that mean?

Your mother's just concerned that Irina might be with you for the wrong reasons.

Like your college fun. Why'd you tell her about that?

Wow.

You must really think I'm an idiot. I think you're young, and I'm sorry.

Sometimes young is idiot -adjacent.

You don't approve.

Fine. I can live with that.

But I want Nana's ring.

No!

You want to buy that woman boots, I can't stop you, but she is not getting

grandmother's ring.

Nana promised I could have that ring when I got married.

You don't get it today.

Oh!

Hey, you're making a mistake.

Yeah, well, maybe the mistake I made was coming home.

Did you find all of this place?

Pretty blank.

Yeah, we forgot the house that Bulimia built.

I could have never been a model.

I like food too much.

Yeah, that's why.

Will you get me a coffee later?

Holy crap.

Is that Heidi Klum?

Hey.

Yeah.

Do you want to meet her?

Get out.

Sure. She's an old friend.

Come on.

Heidi!

Hey, Heidi!

Hi. It's me, Gabby.

Gabby L. Marquez.

I remember you. It's hard to forget someone who taped... tore the paper to

bottom off my Manolo Blahniks, and laughed when I walked down the runway.

That was quite the practical joker back then.

Anyway, this is my friend Angie Bolin from Fairview.

Practical joke, my ass. Because of you, I didn't get to be on the cover of

Sports Illustrated. So screw you, screw your friend, and screw Fairview.

He seems nice.

Hello, gorgeous!

Hi! This is my neighbor, Angie.

Oh, well, nice cheekbones.

Now, what the hell is up with that snotty niece of yours? I mean, don't get

wrong. She's gifted and she's got the look, but that attitude... Tell me about

it. Do you have any idea where she is? She's not in her apartment.

Your niece walked off a chute.

Her boyfriend, Broody McFineass, showed up, told her that he had relatives in

town they could stay with.

Short story shorter... I don't know where she went and don't care.

Do you have relatives in New York?

Only one.

Who's there?

It's me, Ma.

What? I finally get to meet my grandson for the first time, and now you're

telling me that he has to go? You know it is not safe here, Ma. Here's what I

know. Every night for the past 18 years, I was the only one at this table.

One plate, one cup, one chair.

And then someone knocks on my door, and they sit right there, and he calls me

Grandma.

I could have looked... did him until my eyes dried up.

And now you show up, and you tell me it's not safe. Why?

The feds don't care about him. It's not the feds I'm worried about.

Oh.

So that's why you want to take him away.

Patrick Logan?

If my kid shows up, he's a direct link to me. That's how he'll find me. That

18 years ago.

Patrick Logan does not care about you, and he sure as hell does not care about

my grandson.

Ma, please.

I'll tell Danny you were here.

Robin the Stripper?

You had sex with Robin the Stripper? Holy chasbono.

Was that the first time you ever... Yes.

And Robin's at her cousin's wedding, so I only have a couple of days to figure

this out.

Am I gay now?

Well, did you enjoy it?

I don't know. It was different.

I mean, we started kissing, and then we... No details necessary.

Catherine, you're not gay.

As much as you think you can switch your entree from meat to fish, it doesn't

work that way. This is not a choice.

But how could this have happened if I'm not gay?

Look, I was with women all through my 20s. Eddie!

I used to drag that out.

But it always felt weird.

Then when I slept with a man, I knew that was it. Then, a thousand men later,

found me. My point is, if it didn't feel quite right to you, chances are, it's

just a one -time thing.

Oh, maybe you're right.

We were both pretty drunk.

If you're not sure, take sex out of it.

Get to know Robin.

It's a little late to start dating. We already live together.

That is fact.

Maybe you are a lesbian.

And in the short time he's been here, Sam has proved himself invaluable. So I

would like you all to give your support to our new vice president.

Thank you.

This is a great company, but I think we can make it even better.

Now, I've got a lot of great... Oh, I'm sorry. I was just showing

my support.

Carry on.

Andrew, is that a fear?

Hey, just because you can't have a liquid lunch doesn't mean the rest of us

to suffer.

It's okay. It's okay. I've got this.

Okay, buddy. Let me get you some coffee. Why don't we not?

Oh, besides, I believe everybody is waiting to hear how you're going to

your magic fairy dust and whip this company into shape. All right? You need

go now.

Get your hands off me.

Andrew.

Okay? I'm fine.

But if you don't mind, I think I'll take the rest of the day off.

See? Told you he was a flacker.

What can I do for you? Hey, Jimmy.

My son came home from Europe and is engaged to a beautiful Russian girl.

Congratulations. I hate her.

Okay. Anyway, this is my grandmother's ring, and Preston wants to give it to

her. She's very lucky.

Oh, she's not getting this.

Okay. Because you are going to find me a cheap copy.

I can try, but she's probably going to know the difference.

Oh, I'm counting on it.

Irina is quite...

the opportunist. Five seconds after she gets it, she'll have that piece of glass

appraised. And when she finds out my son has given her a fake, I'm betting that

little Russian parasite will be looking for a new host body.

But when your son finds out, isn't he going to be mad?

Oh, that's why I keep having kids, Jimmy, to replace the ones who hate me.

MJ's asleep.

Are you coming to bed?

I miss you.

What, you need somebody to do your hair?

You know what? Sensitive men are good at that.

Please don't pout.

You are all man.

You're one of the strongest, most macho men I know.

Now come upstairs.

I don't have to come upstairs to show you that.

No, what are you doing?

I can show you how macho I am right here.

Don't you think our bed is a bit more comfortable?

Beds are for wimps.

Now I'm getting rid of this T -shirt.

God, what is this made of? Oh, here, let me take it off. No, I'm ripping it.

Mike, you don't have anything to prove yet.

Where are the scissors? I just want to make a little starter cut.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

I like it rough.

I'm glad that you're having fun, but my back... It's hurting, so let me get on

top. No, no, I'm on top.

Seriously, Mike, I'm on a salt shaker.

Oh, sweetie, are you okay?

No, not really.

Oh, please.

I had known that you were going to get this upset about Catherine.

It's not about Catherine. It's you.

And it's not even really about you. It's me.

Okay, just how hard did you hit your head?

The loan, Susan.

You paid off my loan.

Well, isn't that a little 1956 of you?

I grew up watching a man who didn't provide for his family.

And I always swore that was one thing I was going to do.

I'll never be rich. I'll never be famous.

But I can be a guy who takes care of his family.

In that case, I will cancel the check tomorrow, and you can pay

the loan off by yourself.

Thank you.

You know that 1956 thing?

It's kind of sexy.

Really?

This is my 17th message. You might as well pick up the phone because I am not

leaving New York until I see you.

Tell me, what exactly are you planning to do?

Find Anna, cut the curse strings, destroy her hopes and dreams, and catch

Broadway show.

Oh, my gosh!

Hi, guys!

Hi!

Oh, Angie, you met Luke, and of course you recognized beautiful Paulina

Parskova. She and I go way back.

How have you been? Give me a hug.

Why?

What's wrong?

You treated me like dirt and now you want a hug?

What are you talking about?

You remember all the fun we had doing that photo shoot on the beach in Brazil?

What I remember is getting you that job when you were just starting out and then

freezing on the sand for three hours while you bitched because they couldn't

find the exact right shade of lipstick that would make you look pretty.

I see you still haven't found it.

I really don't think I need to meet any more of your friends. I'm going to go

call Nick.

You believe Paulina? What was that about?

Oh, you're kidding, right?

Okay, maybe I threw a little attitude once in a while.

You didn't throw it, honey. You heaved it.

Oh, come on.

I was no worse than a lot of other girls.

No, sweetie, you were the queen, bitch diva.

Insulting photographers, upsetting booking agents.

That's why your career went down in flames.

No, my career ended because I decided to marry Carlos.

You remember I called you the night he proposed.

Yeah, and I told you to grab that brass ring.

Because I knew it was over for you.

And you did too.

Or else you never would have left.

I think I'm in the wrong place. Does Sam Allen live here?

That one. But he's not here.

Oh. Well, I guess I'll just leave these on his porch.

If you want the dogs to eat it, put it inside.

It's unlocked.

What are you doing with a picture of Rex?

I'm waiting.

He was my father.

What?

This is not how I wanted you to find out. I am so sorry.

Bree, let me explain.

Irina really loved the ring, Mom. That's why she wanted to go right to a jeweler

to get it sized.

Good. Look, I know I sprang this on you, but once you get to know her, you'll

see what I see in her.

I am looking forward to when we both see the same thing.

Hello, everyone.

Hey, Irina.

You hungry?

Mom made lentil soup. I told her it was your favorite.

My mother's full of thoughts.

Oh, in English, we say thoughtful.

Yes. You're not wearing your ring.

Gee, I hope there's not a problem.

I am all day thinking about this ring.

I do not want it.

But Preston said you loved it.

I do, but it is too precious.

This ring has been in your family for generations, and for you to give it to a

woman you don't know, it feels wrong.

Wow, what a classy thing to do. Thank you, Irina.

You can buy me another ring.

You sure?

Nana's ring is worth a lot more than anything I can afford.

Yes, President.

I know exactly how much it is worth, but I want your mother to know

I am full of thoughts, too.

So? The thief!

Get her chair. There you go, honey.

Wow.

Two visits in 18 years. It's getting monotonous.

I need to tell you something.

About Patrick.

This again?

Fine.

What about the great and powerful Patrick Logan?

First, you have to promise you won't ever tell Danny.

Anna!

There you are.

I have nothing to say to you. Just give me five minutes. If you don't like what

I have to say, then you can tell me to go to hell.

Two minutes.

I'll meet you inside.

Before you start, I know you sent me to New York just to get me away from Danny.

True. I begged Luke to take you, and he did me a favor. I knew it! But it turns

out I was doing him a favor, too.

Because he thinks you're really talented.

He said that?

He also thinks you're a petulant, whiny, spoiled brat, just like I was. And

that's going to kill your career, just like it killed mine.

I thought you were successful.

I was.

Until everyone was tired of putting up with my crap.

So I want you to go back to Luke, apologize, and start acting like a

professional.

Modeling can be a great ride.

I don't want you to be kicked off before it's over.

Like I was.

Mom, I know you're here for me, but I'm not going.

My grandma wants me to stay.

No.

I don't.

What did you say to her?

She didn't have to say anything.

Your mother knows what's best.

But we have a relationship now.

We're going to talk to each other all the time.

Really?

I promise.

But as long as you're here, neither one of us is safe.

Now go pack your stuff.

Hi.

Do you by any chance know who that woman is talking to Rose?

Yeah, that's her daughter, Angie.

Really? I haven't seen her around here. Where's she visiting from?

Fairview.

Still out there.

You really should talk to him.

I have nothing to say.

Bree, he's 26.

He was born before you and Rex were married.

Fidelity is not the issue.

Rex had a secret life.

Fine. Be mad at Rex. Not at that young man. He's innocent.

He showed up to work for me and didn't tell me that he was my dead husband's

son.

What does he want?

There's only one way to find out.

He told me you wanted to explain. You have two minutes.

My... Mother and father met at a bar.

He was single, so was she.

They had one night together and then he went away.

When she found out she was pregnant, she called him.

He had just met you and said he was in love.

He offered to support her financially, but my mom, who was very proud, turned

him down.

But he did visit you.

A few times.

But my mom asked him to stop because it was too hard on me.

And did you ever see him again?

Yes.

From right here.

I used to ride my bike over.

I'd watch you and Andrew and Danielle.

I wanted to understand why my father would choose all of you over me.

And I did.

You were also perfect.

My mom died six months ago.

And that's when I decided I needed to meet you.

Why didn't you tell me who you were?

Because I wanted you to like me.

Yeah, not to put any pressure on you, but I caught the bouquet.

Oh.

Do we need to talk?

We haven't since it happened.

First of all, you are a wonderful, beautiful person.

Yeah.

I was drunk.

I didn't even know what I was doing until I was doing it. And then, well,

other night was a mistake.

And I'm so sorry.

That is complete crap.

What?

I'm not going to let you blame what happened on being drunk.

Okay, then.

You know what I've been through recently.

And maybe I was trying to forget that with you. But I am not attracted

to women. So no matter what it was, it doesn't count.

I know how you touched me. And

I...

I saw the look in your eyes when I touched you.

You may deny it now, but we're connected.

Hey, you want an extra pillow?

There's empty seats in the back.

Just gonna go sleep there.

And you okay?

Yeah.

I'm just tired.

Well, you may have picked up on this trip that I haven't always been a good

person.

I'm gonna...

Work on that.

Starting with you.

Did Kenny say there were seats in the back? No, no, no. Come on, come on. I'm

serious. I'm serious.

Look, I know you have a secret.

Carlos and I overheard you and Nick fighting.

Something about blowing your cover.

Don't worry, I didn't tell anybody. I just... I just want you to know that...

I've carried around a lot of secrets.

And I know how lonely you can feel.

So if you ever need a friend...

Okay.

When I was 18, I wanted to save the planet.

I organized protests against it. Logging companies, big oil, auto plants.

But then I got involved with a bad guy.

A really bad guy.

He convinced me that we had to get more aggressive.

Long story short, someone got killed.

This bad guy.

You're not talking about Nick, are you?

No.

He's the one who helped me run away from the psycho.

Who's the psycho?

Danny's father.

It's not always easy to see someone's true colors.

Sometimes,

You must look beneath the masculine veneer to find that fragile ego.

You must ignore the sparkle of the jewel to know you're looking at a

fake.

You must bring the truth out of the shadows to see the beauty of its

smile.

Yes, people hide their true nature from us. Every day.

And sadly, we only find out when it's too late.

Mr. Logan?

It's Iris Beckley.

I live next to Rose DeLuca.

You told me to give you a ring if I ever saw Rose's daughter.

No, no, no.

I'll tell you where she lives when I get my thousand dollars.