Original subtitles

- [exclaims] - Yeah.

What happened? You get jumped?

- Not exactly. - Then what?

- Janelle. - Janelle? Help me.

Butterscotch, Ray Jr. the second.

Oh, right, right. That's the baby mama that hates me.

- They all hate you, Danny. - What? And this is how they love?

She had help.

Who? Gimme a name.

- Your sister. - Lorraine?

The two of them together? [laughs]

It's not like I can fight back.

- 'Cause you're a gentleman. - Right.

You got security cameras around your place?

- All around. - Can you shoot me the video?

Hey.

Regardless, at least you got a fun story you could tell your 180 grandkids.

You'll laugh when they give you the drugs.

[exhales] We come here a lot.

We do.

Maybe they could give us a punch card, like at a yogurt shop.

You know, "buy nine, get the tenth free." But here, you get Oxy.

Giving me stink eye is not gonna deter me.

You and Janelle fucking again?

[chuckles] Sorry.

Let me know when you can see me.

[theme music playing]

All right, you stay here, I wanna go talk to her.

Why I gotta stay here?

The woman wields an ice pick. You wanna bleed out from 117 tiny holes?

I'll wait.

You know, you've put me in a very untenable position.

I gotta get rid of you or my blood.

How do I do that?

I'm asking, Ray?

- You don't. - No, I don't.

So, I gotta make peace between you.

I feel like, I don't know, Henry Kissinger?

- Who? - "Who?" Jesus Christ.

How the hell did you go to Bringham Young University

and I go to prison, yet I'm more educated? Wake up.

Really? Raiders to win Super Bowl 59? You sure you don't mean Super Bowl 18?

- [doorbell buzzes] - [door buzzes open]

Well, looking at the line, it's plus 8,480.

Yes, you'd be very rich.

You sure? Final answer.

All right, you're down.

What's wrong with people?

You wanna talk about it?

Not really.

You're putting me in a very untenable position, Lorraine.

- Get rid of him. - Not a solution.

- So I'll quit. - Yeah, also not a solution.

- Then you quit. - Come on, help me here.

I don't know what to tell you. [groans] Ow...

- What's wrong with your leg? - I broke a toe on Ray's head.

- What? - Yeah.

Jesus Christ.

Well, he's waiting downstairs.

I'll tell him he's out, buy his piece of the book, and that will be that.

You'd do that for me?

You're my sister.

Hold on.

All right, she's out.

- Really? - Just wait here a few minutes.

She's just packing up her shit.

You fired your sister?

You gave me no choice.

Hang on.

I'd feel a lot better about this if you shook hands to seal the deal.

- Thank you. - Are we done here?

- We done? - Hey, not so fast, not so fast.

Let's jump ahead to our annual Christmas party.

- Where you going with this, Danny? - Hear me out. Hear me out.

It's a time for good cheer.

You've healed from your injuries, and you're mildly intoxicated.

Now you see each other from across the room,

and you get that old tingle in your pants.

What're you doing?

I need you to agree if such a thing were to happen,

that you both go home, and you jerk off like grown-ups.

Or, all cards on the table, a happily married man.

- Done. - Agreed.

Thank you.

No, no! No hugging.

- [hip hop music playing from stereo] - Fuck.

Just put on The Bridge or the Wave or the douche or whatever the fuck.

- Really? - I'm tired of your bitching and moaning.

- Thank you. - [disco pop music playing]

- [turns off stereo] - I take it back.

- Here comes dead money. - [Danny] Oh, God bless him.

What happened to you?

- Rough sex. - On your face?

- You should see his ass. - [chuckles]

Just give me the money.

- Thanks. See ya next time. - Yeah, about next time...

What do you say we up my number?

- It's ten large now. What you thinking? - Double it?

You lease that spacecraft or you own it?

She's all mine.

- Let's go triple. - Thank you.

No, thank you.

I'm warning you. I'm using AI to place my bets.

Did you use it last week?

- I did. - Might I recommend a monkey and dartboard?

[Ray] How small is this guy's dick?

Yeah, he's gotta lick his way to the finish line.

- Gentlemen. - Shelly.

I really thought I had you this time, guys.

Don't be so down on yourself.

- It was a good bet. - You were robbed.

I was, wasn't I?

- Absolutely. - Fucking-A.

- Can we talk about next week? - Speak on it.

I wanna go all in.

- What's all in? - Million-five.

- You serious? - Is that too much for you?

Hey, don't be insulting.

Allow us to confer for a moment.

What do we gotta talk about? He's on tilt. My nipples are hard.

Oh, I know. I just wanna take this moment

for you and I to celebrate all the goodness in this world.

God bless.

Roll the window down.

- Done. - Sweet!

What's the total on the All-Star game?

- NBA? - WNBA.

- Who the fuck knows? - Hang on.

Two hundred and sixty-three.

- How much? - All of it.

All right, let me read this back to you so that we can be clear.

You wanna go under the total on a women's basketball game.

And not just any game, the All-Star game.

Right.

You do understand All-Star games generally don't have much defense?

I know what I'm doing.

He knows what he's doing, Danny.

Then the wager's been placed. Good luck to you, sir.

Thanks.

[exhales]

[singing] Money, money, money, money

[both] Money

Money, money, money, money

Money

Some people

Got to have it Hey, hey

Some people

Really need it

Yeah!

[commentator on TV] Well, Rebecca, nobody saw this coming.

East and West both turning in defensive gems.

92-89. A thrilling...

Where you going?

Gonna go lay down.

- [exhales] - [cell phone vibrates]

Hey, Shelly.

Yeah, we're watching.

You took a one and a half million-dollar bet and didn't lay any of it off?

Why would we lay it off? It was easy money.

- [chuckles] - What?

This was not my fault.

So what's the plan? You gonna pay him off in installments?

No. What bookie gladly pays you Tuesday for a hamburger today?

What the fuck does that mean?

- Wimpy. Popeye? Oh, shut up. - [scoffs]

- When do you gotta pay? - Sunday.

[speaking Spanish]

[in English] Should we call Gregory?

- Who's Gregory? - He's the guy who handles all our cash.

I don't see we have a choice.

[operator] The number you have dialed has been disconnected.

Please check the number and dial again.

The number you have dialed has been disconnected.

Please check the number and dial again.

- Fuck. - Move.

Why?

Gotta lay down.

How you wanna play this?

Well, best-case scenario, he forgot to pay his phone bill. No harm, no foul.

- Worst-case scenario? - I don't know, Ray.

We're the dumbest motherfuckers in the universe?

Can I help you?

Yeah. We're looking for Gregory.

There's no Gregory here.

- Nah, his mother used to... - [man] Hey, hey.

Get your face out of my house.

- Sorry! He just... He used to live here. - Well, he doesn't live here now.

Did he happen to leave a forwarding address?

I don't know any Gregory.

Sharon, we need to build a fence or a gate or something.

Do you have a list of the banks where our money is?

I do.

[woman on phone] I'm sorry, but we don't have an account under that name.

Try Danny Colavito?

No...

Rayfield Ballard.

Sorry, no.

How about lying, thieving Ichabod Crane motherfucker?

Thank you.

Fuck.

- What're you doing? - I gotta lay down.

[sighs]

[Ray] You ever think of changing your name?

No. Why?

Chuck Munson. Charlie Manson.

Do I have a fucking swastika on my forehead?

- Nope. - Then it's Munson.

Like Thurman, the great Yankee catcher.

Got it.

How long did this Gregory guy work at the bank?

Well, he told us, right? Like, 25, 30 years.

- So he's got a pension. - Probably.

Well, did you go to the bank and ask them where they sent his check?

No.

Which is why you do what you do,

and I do what I do.

- So you'll take the job? - Seems pretty simple.

That's what you want me to do, right? Find him?

What else is on the menu?

Sometimes you find a guy

only to then misplace him.

We'll just start with finding him.

Roger that. Two grand a day. Sound good?

Yeah. We're kind of on a clock here, so how many days are we talking?

Give me three, four, then we'll re-evaluate.

- Thanks. - Yeah, thank you.

Oh-ho! My clock starts now.

Right.

The only one that calls me Charlie is my mother.

Aren't you gonna eat?

Not hungry.

Have a little. You gotta eat something.

I gotta get right with the Lord, that's what I gotta do.

Yeah, well, you can't do that on an empty stomach.

Your mother came to see me last night.

You mean in a dream.

Of course in a dream. She said I'm not done with Frank.

Like a statute of limitation?

What? No, spiritually.

Oh. Right. You mean, like, he's still in your heart?

Of course he's in my heart, but he's in something else too.

- I just can't make sense of it. - Where you going?

Flower garden, maybe he'll give me a hint.

Send my regards.

Shit!

My God, I think she did it.

Excuse me.

Don't you have a fridge in the guesthouse?

- [gasps] - Mmm-hmm.

- Crazy motherfucking bitch. - What?

Nothing. Good night.

- [door opens] - Go ahead.

Can we pause it again?

Jesus, you need to see a urologist.

I don't have to pee. I need to talk to you.

Oh, okay. Well, go ahead.

I got a cash flow problem.

Oh. And a urine flow problem.

Sorry.

I need to borrow that Super Bowl money you took

to cover some unexpected expenses.

But that's my emergency money.

Well, this is an emergency.

But it's your emergency, not mine.

Yeah, we're a team, right?

You know, better or worse, sickness and health, richer and poorer?

That's just something people say.

It's a vow. It's a declaration of intent.

It's $500,000, Danny.

Sandra, listen, I am in trouble here. I need that cash.

And I need a financial cushion if something should happen to you.

- What's gonna happen to me? - I don't know.

You get stuffed in an oil drum and liquified by acid?

Where'd you get that from?

I saw it in a show.

- You know what? Fuck it. Keep the money. - [sighs]

It's good that I know what side you're on.

Hey, Danny.

It breaks my heart to be fighting with you like this.

Yeah? And?

That's all.

- [sighs] - [Wendy] Having a bad day, Bunky?

Oh, Christ.

Talk to me.

Don't worry about it.

No... Come on. Tell me.

- Which is it? The pink or the green? - What?

Pussy or money? I've yet to know a man that wasn't ruined by one or both.

Green.

That would've been my guess.

Anything I can do to help?

No, thanks.

I got my pension from Kroger's and my social security.

It's $1,400 a month. It's yours, if it helps.

You know, that's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me.

Is that a yes?

No. But thanks.

Come here.

It's gonna be okay.

No, it's not.

Yeah, probably not.

Ray and I have an investment opportunity and we were hoping to raise the cash

by selling you our piece of the funeral home.

Hold on. This pump is for shit.

They make them in China now, where formaldehyde is an aperitif.

So what exactly are you doing?

Pumping in embalming...

Pumping in embalming fluid, which pushes the blood out.

See that tube there? That's the old dead blood.

So, what's the opportunity?

Well, we're not at liberty to talk about it, but...

- [banging] - There we go.

This also removes any internal gas.

You, my dear, will not explode in front of your family and friends.

It's a privilege to watch a master craftsman do his thing.

Privilege? I just threw up in my mouth.

So, anyway, if it works out, we could cut you in on phase two.

What do you think, Dierdre?

Do we smell bullshit or am I just purging your fluids?

Come on, Alan. We're giving you an opportunity here.

- Why you gotta bust our balls? - Danny, Ray.

I've been going to Gamblers Anonymous now

for three years, seven months [hesitates] and 11 days.

And you know one of the things you learn at those meetings?

Don't hit on 17?

- Everybody lies. - You calling us liars?

- Phase two? Come on. - Fine.

Make us an offer. You don't need to know why we want the money.

There we go. Ten grand.

- What? - Man.

Our piece of this creepy fucking dungeon starts at seven figures.

Eleven grand.

- Now you're not even being realistic. - Give us an honest number.

Tell you what? Ray, you spoon Dierdre here and I'll go to a hundred.

Goodbye.

- 250. - Fuck you!

I'll do it.

I know you'll do it.

Just an FYI,

spooning's not necrophilia.

How the fuck did we let this happen?

I don't know. Think there's any chance we got set up?

- How you figure? - A guy rolls up on us

with easily a million dollars in sports cars,

loses, ups his number, loses again

and makes the dumbest bet imaginable and breaks our back.

That's the kinda bet the public never makes but sharps do.

This clown is an elite handicapper.

Or he's a beard running bets for someone who prefers to remain anonymous.

So who're we up against?

That's the question. Who're we up against?

[cell phone ringing]

Hey, Chuck, what's up?

- You're shitting me. - What?

Charlie Manson found Gregory.

Where is he?

Where'd you find him?

Like I said, you do what you do, I do what I do.

That's incredible, man. I don't know how to thank you.

A performance bonus is not unheard of.

Open it up.

- That's not the guy. - Yeah, it is.

No, it isn't!

What're you talking about? Gregory Cobb, 6'4", bald, weird-looking.

It's not the guy. Look!

This is him!

[muffled] My God! I'm not the guy!

Pretty close.

Pretty close makes this kidnapping.

Whoa, whoa. Chill.

[man] Help! Oh, my God!

Now what?

I don't know, I guess we're back to the drawing board.

What're you gonna do with him?

- Uh, you care? - Oh, Jesus.

You know what? I'll drive out to the desert,

give him a few bucks, we'll be fine.

Do not kill him!

No, of course not. [chuckles]

Don't think about it.

[man, muffled] I'm not the guy!

It's important not to think about it.

- Thank you. - No. Thank you.

[theme music playing]