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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,280 "Boy!" 2 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:55,960 "Boy!" 3 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,240 "I came home and brightened the place" 4 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,240 "Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat" 5 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,360 "Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations" 6 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:19,240 - "I am El Kabeer" - "He is El Kabeer" 7 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,400 "Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men'' 8 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,240 "A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion" 9 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:28,280 "As proud as an eagle sly like a fox" 10 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,080 "Mix all of these together and you will have El Kabeer" 11 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,200 - "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix" 12 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:37,200 "I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice" 13 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:40,160 "That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous" 14 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,920 "Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid" 15 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:46,200 - "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid" 16 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:49,240 "I can rule any people no matter how many" 17 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,280 "It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor" 18 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,400 "Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids" 19 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,040 "They have to obey me or they will disappear'' 20 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,960 "Objection!" 21 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,240 "Yeah" 22 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,520 "Yeah" 23 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,240 "Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake" 24 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,320 "And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break" 25 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,200 "You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake" 26 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,320 "My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake" 27 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,320 "Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother" 28 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,240 "Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy" 29 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,440 "If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs" 30 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,440 "mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy" 31 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,560 - "Listen, El Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen" 32 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,560 "I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can" 33 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,560 "No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try" 34 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,640 "Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word" 35 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:54,040 "An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate" 36 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:02,720 ''End of story!'' 37 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,000 "Boy!" 38 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:26,520 "Episode 11" 39 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,480 Welcome, all! You're watching El Kabeer One Channel 40 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:34,720 this is the first episode from the brand new and exciting competition show 41 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,800 our show relies heavily on intelligence and wits 42 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,800 and helps widen the mental capacities of Mazareetian children 43 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:47,320 believe me, this program isn't just for children 44 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,760 it will surely attract adult viewers, too 45 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,480 Do you know what our show is called, kids? 46 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,120 - "Jamustay"! - I can't quite hear you! 47 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,000 - What is it called, kids? - "Jamustay"! 48 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:04,200 Great job, this stuffed animal will accompany us during all the episodes 49 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:08,520 this cow will only tell you the question if someone refers to it as "Jamustay" 50 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,320 Mr. Abd El Majeed, you can start 51 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,040 Jamustay! 52 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,960 An object that provides light for the world and doesn't require electricity 53 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,520 this one's easy, did anyone figure it out? 54 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,880 - Jamustay! - Okay! 55 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:27,160 It provides warmth in the winter and burns us in the summer 56 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,600 - you, have a go! - Jamustay! 57 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,480 How come you don't know the answer, you cow? 58 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,400 - It's obvious, it's a no-brainer! - Can I have a go, Mrs. Hadeya? 59 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,800 - Let's hear it, Mr. Abd El Majeed! - A gas stove! 60 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,640 May it burn you! 61 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,520 "The fight's about to start" 62 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,880 "she's trying to find a way in now, they've grabbed onto each other" 63 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,640 "she hit her on her head and punched her" 64 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,200 "she grabbed her and kicked her in the butt" 65 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,400 "it's a terrific display of reflex along with pinning her legs" 66 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:01,960 "two..." 67 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,680 I don't understand why Kabeer's channel is getting so many viewers, Thomas, why? 68 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:14,280 I can't quite believe this! We had the highest ratings in all of Mazareeta 69 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:18,160 and all surrounding villages including Ma'leeta, Ba'leeta, and Malateeta! 70 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:21,760 - What now? What will we do? - Our viewership is dwindling rapidly, Johnny 71 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,760 - we're failing, we're failing! - I know that! I know that! 72 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,680 - We're really failing! - I know that, stop! 73 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:30,920 - What are we going to do? - Here's what I don't get... 74 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:35,240 people are watching female wrestlers instead of the NBA League, imagine that! 75 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,960 I can't wrap my head around it! Now, please tell me what we'll do 76 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,760 - No, Johnny! Johnny! - Sorry! Sorry! 77 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:48,000 - Are you watching them? - She just took her out with one strike, watch! 78 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,760 Johnny, focus on the topic at hand! Tell me what to do! 79 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:56,280 Thomas, you've done more than enough, okay? 80 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:00,040 You did everything in your capacity! Hats off, you've done all you can! 81 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,120 But that's what you were born with you can't really do much 82 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,000 that's why, I'll intervene 83 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,520 Thomas, your problem is that you're a mere shell 84 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:13,080 you couldn't quite communicate with the culture and listen to what the people want 85 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:17,080 because you're a very shallow person! You even have a silly dragon tattoo! 86 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,360 It doesn't even mean anything! Now, listen here... 87 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,240 did we buy the rights for action and science fiction movies? 88 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:28,400 Sure, we have The Matrix, Avatar, Iron Man... 89 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:33,160 Listen, man, we'll show E.T. then Avatar, then the Matrix 90 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,040 - Yeah! - You'll see! Now, scoot over... 91 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,800 - Oh, my God! - The one in red is highly skilled, huh? 92 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,440 You still haven't seen it all! The one in blue was wearing a robe at the start... 93 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,840 but when she took it off, the other one started clawing, gnawing, and beating her! 94 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,000 Oh, my God! 95 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,200 Wild cats! 96 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:15,760 What kind of action movie is this? Is he hitting all those twins at once? 97 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:18,520 Were they all in the same womb? 98 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:23,440 Zuhair, your mother gave birth to you and your 12 siblings at the same time! 99 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,800 Change the channel, Zuhair! Let's see what El Kabeer's channel is showing! 100 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,440 Dear viewers... 101 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,960 we've reached the end, you've been watching... 102 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,280 "People find solace in others' suffering" 103 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:43,720 I'd like to thank today's victim, S. A. for sharing her suffering with us... 104 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:48,040 after her husband, G. N. sold her cow without her explicit permission 105 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,800 the same cow that her parents gifted her when she was a child 106 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,680 with whom she spent her happiest years 107 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:59,760 I'd like to tell her, that it's okay don't be sad 108 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,040 there are many cows out there 109 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,840 but you can't possibly find another husband 110 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,960 your husband is worth a hundred cows 111 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:12,320 finally, I'd like to thank the show's production team 112 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,160 Producer: Mr. Mohammad Al-Daysti 113 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,480 Videographer: Mr. Abu Al-Makarem 114 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,840 Sound Engineer: Sameh Jamal 115 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,600 Interior Designer: Samer Al-Jamalawy 116 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,040 Graphics: Mr. Manawishi 117 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,000 And our talented director: El Kabeer! 118 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,040 Until next time, Hadeya, wife of El Kabeer! 119 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,320 Stop! 120 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:40,640 It turns out you're quite talented, you cow! I was entranced! 121 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,000 Since I'm very shallow... 122 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,440 since I'm a mere shell who can't see the depth of things 123 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:51,480 since you're a deep person who thinks clearly... 124 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:57,280 naturally, when you show E.T. followed by The Matrix and Avatar... 125 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,240 then, people will eventually get bored and watch the movie you're currently seeing 126 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,880 for your information, we've tried everything with these people... 127 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:05,680 and they still refuse to watch! 128 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,720 For your information, there's no hope! 129 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,720 Great! Are you done now? 130 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:16,600 There's an old saying by a smart man frankly, I don't remember where he's from 131 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,120 he says: "Endings are the best part" 132 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:26,640 Endings, as in, when things come to an end 133 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:31,120 - Okay! - All of this is considered a first step! 134 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:32,880 There's more to come 135 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,840 wait, I'll show something that makes the entire Upper Egypt region... 136 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:39,600 stay at home, with no one to plant crops or harvest them later on! 137 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,280 I'll show Alice in Wonderland! 138 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,160 What did you think, man? It will break records! 139 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,000 For your information, I meant for Avatar to be shown without 3D glasses 140 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:53,240 the audience realized that it's overrated when I showed it like that 141 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:57,480 when I show Alice in Wonderland with 3D glasses people will be amazed with the graphics 142 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,400 it will be in 3D, man! 143 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:01,600 - There's another thing - What is it? 144 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:04,720 - A talk show! - Talk show? 145 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,200 I'm planning a show that will upset Dr. Phil and Oprah to the max! 146 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,160 Do you see a talk show succeeding in Al Mazareeta? 147 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:15,760 It's a talk show, man, it's gossip! We do it in the street, in fields... 148 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:19,280 people love gossip! What are the top three shows in Egypt? 149 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,240 Cairo Today, Make Yourself at Home 90 Minutes... 150 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,400 - Are they all cooking shows? - No, they're talk shows 151 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:31,400 so, we can do a show similar to 90 minutes but have it be 60 minutes instead! 152 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,400 Why are you plagiarizing? Don't you have integrity, you thief? 153 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,640 Didn't I say that you're a mere shell? You're a bubble, no substance! 154 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,480 People worked hard on a show like 90 Minutes and you're stealing their concept, blatantly! 155 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:45,040 Forget about it, then! Why don't we host a show at 5 pm? 156 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,800 That's a suitable time since people here sleep early 157 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,960 Six pm? 158 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:55,280 - Seven pm? - You're nothing but a social pimple... 159 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:59,720 if it ever pops, then it's over! You're a bubble with a dragon tattoo! 160 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,200 Talk show? How so? 161 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:10,600 They're programs where they interview people and discuss various matters 162 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,920 like the one you love so much! 163 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:18,080 Mamdouh Faraj? "Hey, you! I'm talking to you!" 164 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:22,200 - What is it, sir? - I'm just repeating his catchphrase, donkey! 165 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:27,000 No, I'm talking about the one whom you love greatly 166 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:31,400 - Amr Adib! - Amr? He's very funny and cute! 167 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:36,480 Why don't you make a show that's similar and have it called Al Mazareeta Today? 168 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,840 That's a great idea how did you come up with it? 169 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,800 We'll host a segment called "Ask El Kabeer" 170 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,720 That's a great idea, Kabeer! 171 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:52,640 Listen, get me Dr. Ezzat Abu-Ouf's number from the phonebook 172 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:55,880 At your service... Why a doctor? Are you okay? 173 00:11:56,120 --> 00:12:00,400 It's Ezzat Abu-Ouf, who Amr Adib will interview during his show, you donkey! 174 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:04,640 He'll be happy if you tell him that El Kabeer wants him on Al Mazareeta Today! 175 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,240 there won't be a problem, ask him how much he wants so we can make a deal 176 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,560 What if he's busy and ignores us? 177 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,080 Call Sameh Al-Zariti! 178 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,120 "Johnny Talk show" 179 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,120 A very good morning to you all 180 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:24,800 today's the first episode of the Johnny Show on Al Mazareeta TV 181 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,120 your favorite channel Johnny Show isn't like any other show 182 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:33,760 we like to discuss topics that concern every Mazareetian 183 00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,800 we also provide solutions today, we're interviewing Mr. Hamed 184 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,000 a prominent example of familial success in our village 185 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:45,520 why is that? That's because his son is the only Mazareetian.... 186 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,520 who was able to face adversity and break through barriers... 187 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:52,240 and get accepted into nursing school but that's not all! 188 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,480 He accomplished a bigger miracle he actually graduated! 189 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,600 This incident caused quite a stir in the Egyptian community 190 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,920 now, many directors and writers... 191 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,840 are making offers to buy the rights of this story from Mr. Hamed... 192 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,560 so they can turn it into a science fiction film 193 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,520 that's based on a true story 194 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,480 - How are you, Mr. Hamed? - Hello, Mr. Joe! 195 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,560 - Johnny! - It's all the same! 196 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,280 Anyway, I need you to tell us about your experience with your son 197 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,440 how did you give him the necessary push so he can become successful? 198 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,280 I didn't do much 199 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:32,920 No, I need you to tell me how your son achieved this with your support 200 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,240 What do you want to know, exactly? 201 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,880 Why are you getting riled up? Calm down, that's the way! 202 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,800 I need you to tell us how you treated him at home 203 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,800 I never saw him, nor did I ever accept him 204 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,080 I used to head home from work at the end of the day... 205 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,200 and, when he returned from nursing school... 206 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:56,600 he would start studying immediately making so much noise, I was annoyed 207 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,600 I don't like noise! I want to sleep and relax! 208 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:05,800 I kicked him out, and told him to find another place far away to study! 209 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:12,000 You used the pressure technique! This is great! This is really great! 210 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:16,360 This's great! So, every day you give him some negative energy... 211 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,920 and he automatically turns it into positive energy 212 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,720 this is great! I wish we all can be like Mr. Hamed! 213 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,360 Turn your phone off! Turn it off! 214 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:27,840 Turn it off! 215 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:29,560 Mr. Hamed! 216 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,240 We'll be back after the break 217 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,120 What's it, Johnny? Why are you so nervous? 218 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,920 - I'm not nervous! - Yes, you are 219 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,280 it's like you're standing in front of a camera for the first time 220 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,480 no, Johnny! The man overshadowed you, relax! Relax! 221 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,240 Please, don't ruin it for me! 222 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,240 Look at you! You did what you want and let this down, what is this? 223 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,440 - I didn't do it! Wait, wait - No! I told you... 224 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,880 Are you giving me instructions again? Again? 225 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,640 Don't forget who you are! You're here because of me 226 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,360 this channel is mine you're nothing without me 227 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,760 nothing! Everyone here knows that! 228 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:08,120 I told you to do one little thing and you failed! 229 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,720 Is this the kind of guests I wanted? That guy! 230 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,880 He tortures his son and humiliates him! 231 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,840 - I didn't find anyone else, what should I do? - You'll be fined one week's wages 232 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,840 - get out! - Okay 233 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,440 Mrs. Etimad! 234 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,480 - Come, please, Mrs. Etimad - Yes 235 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,480 Have a seat, please 236 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:29,360 listen, Mrs. Etimad this's your camera and this's your light 237 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,760 - so, get ready - Get out of here, man, move! 238 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,160 It's time for our next topic 239 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:41,800 it's a humanitarian and very touching issue 240 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,080 it's called Bless The Houses of The Good Ones 241 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:50,560 and Mrs. Etimad is here with us how are you, mother Etimad? 242 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,760 - I can't complain, son - Tell us about your problem, mama 243 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,200 There's no problem, Mr. Johnny 244 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,240 I was married and I had three children 245 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,600 I was really satisfied and I felt blessed, thank God 246 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:10,760 apart from my mother-in-law, damn her! She was mean like a scorpion! 247 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,960 Her heart was full with hatred against me 248 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,400 she was waiting for any mistake I would make, son 249 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:21,520 one day there was a huge fight between us 250 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,520 I shouted at her and she answered me 251 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,720 and then, she had a stroke 252 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,920 my husband couldn't take it he died of shock 253 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,000 two days after my husband's death... 254 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:41,000 my middle child's body temperature increased 255 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,440 we took him to the medical unite 256 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,760 the doctor checked on him 257 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:52,040 and said that it was genetic condition and that he would stay always this warm 258 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,240 whatever! 259 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:59,960 Going back from the medical unit we took the microbus 260 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,800 I took the front seat and my children sat in the back 261 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:07,800 the driver hit on me a bit 262 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,840 he shouted at me and I answered him 263 00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,920 and the microbus rolled over 264 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:18,160 - don't worry, nothing happened, I'm fine! - Thank God! 265 00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:22,280 But actually, my eldest son... 266 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,520 - he lost his ears - Oh, my God! Why? how? 267 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,800 He became deaf, son! He lost hearing 268 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,440 he lost the ability of hearing 269 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,080 and he had troubles with speaking 270 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,720 the youngest child has become paralyzed 271 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:38,760 he became useless! 272 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:42,680 But, thank God, I'm fine, son nothing bad happened to me 273 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,600 Thank God, all the others aren't important 274 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,640 anyway, anyway... 275 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,440 if anyone wants to help this woman and I doubt it... 276 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,960 you should only call the damn numbers that will appear on the screen 277 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,160 People are amazed, right? 278 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,400 Sir, people are impressed with the show 279 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,160 What's new? It's old news! 280 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:14,800 People are crazy about it that they even didn't watch the show! 281 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,840 Which part of that was right? The first one or the second? 282 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,880 - Put your leg down! - So, it's the second one 283 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,920 - Yes! - No, you're lying 284 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,680 you're lying I saw happiness in their eyes 285 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:28,480 - What happiness? Why would I be jealous? - You're lying and you're jealous of me! 286 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:31,000 Everyone is watching El Kabeer's talk show 287 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:33,360 - Al Mazareeta Today - Is that the name? 288 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,240 - Yes - He's a social pimple, just like you! 289 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,280 He copied another show's name you're all copycats! 290 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,480 That's why Chinese goods are sold in abundance here 291 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:43,880 Watch this! 292 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,920 "We'll be back after the break" 293 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,760 "Al Mazareeta Today" 294 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,840 Listen, girl this is the last break in the show 295 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,400 and the last warning for you 296 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,400 if you keep talking and trying to draw attention so the cameras would focus on you... 297 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,640 and if you keep acting silly like that I'll hit you with my shoe 298 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,760 It's you who's preventing me from asking! 299 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,920 - Calm down, Kabeer - I'm trying to be calm 300 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:09,400 - she never stop talking, as if I'm useless here - Calm down, Kabeer 301 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,960 Wherever I go, people respect me 302 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,080 why won't you respect me, Kabeer? 303 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,320 How could you say that? I respect you too much, Mrs. Fatima! 304 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,080 God bless you, Kabeer! 305 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:24,120 If it wasn't for you, I would have killed her on air and buried her right here 306 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,560 God forbid! 307 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:29,800 Stop it, man! Stop talking, it tickles me! 308 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,720 I'm only standing this because it's like the one with Tamer Ameen! 309 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,520 Are you out of your mind? Are you yelling at me? 310 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,440 I'll show you after the show! 311 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,800 - We're on air, Kabeer, we're on air - We're back... 312 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,800 after the last break in your favorite show Al Mazareeta Today 313 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,840 first of all, I want to tell the audience something... excuse us! 314 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:57,000 We won't be able to receive your emails today because the computer is frozen 315 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,720 and we won't be able to receive your messages either 316 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,080 the network is down, and why? 317 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,640 It's because we're receiving so many messages, touch wood! 318 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,680 - Watch the time, Kabeer - Yeah, alright! 319 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,360 You're lighting up our day, Mrs. Fatima 320 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,120 - May you never have a dark day, Kabeer - Thank you 321 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,720 well, after the huge success you achieved with your songs... 322 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:22,040 such as: Azraieh, Here he comes and You Skinny 323 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,560 we heard that you're preparing for a duet with the world famous singer Ricky Martin 324 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,480 - is that true or is it just a rumor? - No, it's not a rumor, they announced that 325 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,800 I told them that I want to listen to the audio and think about it 326 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,000 and then decide whether I'm going to do it or not 327 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:37,680 I actually sang a world famous song with the world famous singer Shakira 328 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:42,120 its name was This Girl Can't Stop Dancing I hope you'll like it! 329 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:45,120 - We'll definitely like it - I hope so! 330 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,040 And of course, since we have... 331 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,040 - what is it? - Calm down, guys 332 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,320 - Don't worry, it's nothing - What's going on? 333 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,200 I slept with the air conditioner on it's nothing 334 00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:58,760 It's okay, you speak I'm no longer in the mood 335 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,600 Well, Mrs. Fatima the show is almost over, sadly 336 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:09,440 and before the end, I want to tell you that you influenced people very much 337 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,760 I remember now... 338 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,520 one of my friends listened to Hussieneen and Mohammedeen and Hussieneen Has 11 Children 339 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:19,920 - so, he had 11 children, too - People listen to Hussieneen and Mohammedeen... 340 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,480 and start having kids once they listen to it 341 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:27,160 - Touch wood! That's the real influence - There is no doubt! 342 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,600 At the end of this episode... 343 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:34,120 since we have the great singer Fatima Eid we should listen to her singing 344 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,320 - what do you want to sing? - How about Step on, Bride? 345 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:38,920 Step on! 346 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:55,360 "Step on the carpet, bride!" 347 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:59,160 "When your groom saw you he realized he's so lucky!" 348 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:02,480 "Step on the carpet, bride!" 349 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,080 "When your groom saw you he realized he's so lucky!" 350 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,560 "Step on the green carpet, bride!" 351 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,360 "You have all the right to dance today!" 352 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,680 "Step on the carpet, bride!" 353 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:20,440 "When your groom saw you he realized he's so lucky" 354 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,920 I'm sad! No, I'm really sad! 355 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,040 I haven't been this sad since Michael Jackson died! 356 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,000 - People here are simple - What? 357 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:32,240 I didn't mean they are stupid, fool, I mean... 358 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,280 - they are local, well... - Okay 359 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:38,360 They ignored me and my special style look at this! Do you know where I got it from? 360 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,320 And they are watching Fatima Feast! 361 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:44,080 What should I do? Should I close this channel or turn it into a weird one named Strike? 362 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,920 And you would stand like a fool saying: "Mom is coming"... 363 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,960 "and you'll get a reward"! What should I do? 364 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,200 Listen, Johnny there's only one option... 365 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,120 I didn't want to do that but, obviously, we have to 366 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,320 No, no, no, Thomas don't compromise, the channel can go to hell 367 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,600 - No, you didn't get, Johnny, you didn't get it - Don't compromise, Thomas 368 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,200 Johnny, there is only one way! 369 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,680 - What is it? - We'll hit below the belt! 370 00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:21,960 Listen, man, if you want your advertisement to be shown on the best channel... 371 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:26,200 in the middle east, pretty soon don't discuss money with me 372 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,960 don't talk to me about it! Do what I say and that's it! 373 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,320 I won't discuss money, end of story 374 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:39,640 it's over, it's over, it's over may it rest in peace, nothing lasts forever 375 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,000 this is the end, what's happening? The line is going dead, I'm in the elevator 376 00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:45,120 I'm in the elevator, bye! 377 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,200 This's too much! Do all successful people have to receive all these calls? 378 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,840 This is wrong, Johnny you have to make some discounts 379 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,120 Why should I do that? Why? 380 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,760 Soon, I'll be the most successful one in the middle east, why would I make discounts? 381 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,960 you take it I can't answer the phone anymore 382 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:06,240 - It's Hagras - Tell him anything, tell him that I'm dead 383 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,160 Hello! Yes, Hagras 384 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,520 No, no, no, I'm not Johnny I'm Thomas 385 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:14,520 yes, Johnny fell in the swamp and died 386 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,760 No, wait, he's idiot like a donkey he might kill himself like me 387 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,280 - tell him anything else - Okay 388 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,800 No, no, he'll call you back later 389 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:22,840 what? 390 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:25,480 - What a disaster! - What's wrong? 391 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,760 Alright, alright I'll call you back in a minute, goodbye 392 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,640 El Kabeer's channel will be sponsored by a Saudi investor 393 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,800 Oh, my God! 394 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:41,200 "El Kabeer with sheikh Samer Ibn Hamad..." 395 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,640 "reopened El Kabeer One Channel" 396 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:54,640 It's him! 397 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,400 Hello, how are you, sir? How are you, king? 398 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,920 No, it's nothing the elevator is off network 399 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,880 What do you mean by "cancel it"? Why do you want to cancel it? 400 00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:09,600 Oh, yes, yes by the way, I have a great offer for you 401 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,640 I'll make a 50 percent discount... hello! Hello! 402 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,040 I can hear you yes, I can hear you 403 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:16,880 I can hear you, don't fool with me... 404 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,120 So? What did he tell you? 405 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:22,280 He copied me with the elevator thing 406 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:23,920 he hung up on me! 35460

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