All language subtitles for dbabdiua

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Can I help you?

I have
to go back a bit.

I was 12 years old

and on a school trip
in the hills.

Are you making fun of me?

What do you mean?

You have this orgasm,
not only an orgasm,

- but a spontaneous orgasm.
- Yes, it was an orgasm,

though the doctor
described it as a...

an epileptic seizure.

And during that orgasm,

you have this vision

of these two women
on each side of you?

Was she holding the veil
with two fingers like this?

What's the matter?

You don't even... you don't even
know who these women were, do you?

No, but one of them did
look like the virgin Mary,

now that you mention it.

Well, it wasn't the virgin
Mary, I can tell you that.

From your description,
it must've been

valeria messalina,

the wife of emperor claudius,

the most notorious
nymphomaniac in history.

And the other woman,

the one astride the creature,

that was no one else but
the great whore of Babylon

riding on nimrod
in the form of a bull.

Your story is like a...

Blasphemous retelling

of the transfiguration
of Jesus on the mount...

Which is one
of the eastern church's

holiest passages.

It's when
the humanity of Christ

is illuminated by the
divine light of eternity.

If anyone else would have
told me that story,

I would've seen it
as a blasphemous joke,

spiced up with a biblical light

emanating from nothing less
than a spontaneous orgasm.

And then later, you lost
your orgasm altogether.

Wagner. "Das rheingold",

the descent into nibelheim."

Was it that bad?

Try to imagine
that in one fell swoop,

you lost all desire to read

and all your love and passion
for books and letters.

I don't even
know if I can imagine that.

This is nothing
less than zeno's paradox.

You are achilles

and the tortoise is the orgasm.

Oh, come on.

Because you were giving chase,

you couldn't reach satisfaction.
That's the paradox.

I'm sorry, but it seems as if you're
not taking this very seriously.

I'm telling you about the worst
thing that's happened to me,

that I, at that point
within seconds,

lost all sexual sensation.

My cunt simply went numb!

And immediately we have to hear

about this ridiculous
mathematical problem.

In fact, I'm in doubt whether

you're even listening.

Why do you doubt that?

Whenever I've told other men
about experiences,

episodes in my sex life,

it was easy to see that
they became quite excited.

I got excited.

Yes, about
the mathematical crap,

not about the story.

What kind of a person
are you actually?

I...

You wouldn't know.

No, but I can guess.

Why didn't I get that earlier?

The fact you don't get excited
over my dirty stories

is because you can't
relate to them.

You've never been with a woman.

That's quite accurate.

Not with a man either.

Are you sorry about that?

Well yeah, but...

Out of curiosity.

Not out of lust,
as you would think.

I consider myself... Asexual.

Of course I... Experimented

with masturbation when
I was a teenager, but...

It didn't do much for me.

So there's nothing
sexual about me.

It's not as uncommon
as you would think.

And of course I've...

I've read a lot about
sexual subjects:

"Canterbury tales,"
"decameron,"

"thousand and one nights."

You name it

and I've read it with great
interest and enjoyment...

But only literary enjoyment.

But I... but I think
maybe it makes me

a better listener
to your story.

I have no
preconceived notions or...

or preferences.

I'm actually the best judge
you could give your story to.

And when it comes
to deciding whether you're

a bad human being or not, I'm...

I have no problems with that.

Because I don't look
at you through the glasses

colored by sexuality

or sexual experience.

I'm a virgin.

I'm innocent.

She's looking at me.

Yes.

It's an icon.

Is it Russian?

Yes, it's...

it's a skilled copy,

maybe in the manner of rublev.

Icons are usually
connected to the eastern church.

The eastern church?

I might become
a bit theoretical.

You may.

I'd like you to tell me
about your picture.

Although the Christian church

was split up in 1054 because
of differences in opinion

between the eastern church
and the Western church...

what we today call
the orthodox church

and the Roman catholic church.

This is a typical
eastern church icon.

And it usually
depicts the virgin Mary

and the infant Jesus,
and more rarely,

for instance, the crucifixion,

which in the Western church
was much more prevalent.

If you generalize,
you could say that

the Western church
is the church of suffering,

and the eastern church is
the church of happiness.

If you imagine a mental
journey from Rome eastward,

you feel how you move away

from guilt and pain
towards joy and light.

But you say you didn't
believe in God.

No, but the concept
of religion is interesting...

Like the concept of sex.

But you won't find me on my knees
with the regards to either.

Let's call this chapter,

um, "the eastern church
and the Western church."

But it won't be...
it won't be a story

about traveling east from Rome

towards the light,
but rather the opposite.

So in order not
to make it too sad,

I've pepped up the name of the
chapter with an extra title.

In spite
of my tireless efforts,

my cunt totally
failed to respond.

I have to admit
there came a time

when we had fun together.

I'll give you a fiver...

Uh-huh.

If you can put this

up inside your cunt.

A fiver?

Right.

Shit.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

- Didn't get any spoons?
- No, we didn't.

The most grotesque thing was
that it was during that period

where every sexual
sensation was denied me...

a period, I must admit,

of secure and restful
domestic comfort...

we had moved in
together and so on...

that I became pregnant,

because I was careless about
my birth control pills.

Consciously or unconsciously,

it was important for me
to have a caesarean.

I mean, I was hoping that my cunt
was going to fucking work again,

and I had a feeling that

a haphazard birth wouldn't
make things better.

I may have been
imagining things,

but as I lay there the
noise from the instruments

rang out in a chord like

the one from the little flock.

Yes.

And it wasn't fear.

More like a kind of disgust.

I could've
sworn I saw him laughing.

A laughing son?

In "doctor faustus," Thomas mann
describes the birth of Noah's son ham,

who was laughing
when he was born.

Another satanic omen.

Incidentally, the innocent
child was named marcel,

after Mars,
the Roman God of war.

And motherhood?

I assume maternal love

didn't quite live up
to its expectations.

No, I didn't have
any expectations.

And maternal love
wasn't a problem.

It was just that each time

I looked into the child's eyes,

I had this unsettling feeling

of having been found out.

I know it's
probably a strange thing

to say about a child...

that my love
wasn't being returned...

but it was my perception.

If Jerome had hoped for a break

from what was for him
now mostly strenuous work,

he could forget about it.

Fill all my holes.

I can't, Joe.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Can we talk about it?

Of course.

I love you, I love your
wildness and your desire.

At the moment I don't seem to satisfy
you in the way that I'd like to.

Don't get upset, Joe. It doesn't mean
we won't continue with our sex life,

which is very important to me.

Very important to me.

Mmm, when you buy a tiger,

right?
You also have to feed it.

Um, satisfy it,

right?

Long story short:

I have a tiger on my hands.

- You mean I'm too much for you.
- No.

You're just the way
you should be.

I was just thinking
if you would consider

that I get a little help with
the feeding, that's all.

You're saying I should have
sex with others as well.

That's a rather cruel way
of putting it, Joe, but...

- But exact.
- Exact.

For a long time
I'd been playing around

with the idea that the concept
of the fuck-me-now clothes

could be improved...

You look nice.

And became the piano teacher.

You okay?

No.

What's the matter?

Well, I'm such
an idiot with cars.

I don't really know what to do.
Do you mind helping me?

Well, of course
it won't work.

Sparkplug caps have
been removed.

Yes, I did that.

Was that wrong?

For the first time I had

the pleasure of having
an 8-cylinder car.

The possible combinations
of eight spark-plug caps

on eight spark plugs
are 40,320,

if I remembered
my math correctly.

And only one of these

will make the car run,

which gave me
all the time I needed.

Beethoven, huh?

He was certainly
very good, but, you know,

- he couldn't write a fugue.
- You think so?

Well...

Yeah, I think so.

It would be more precise
to say that Beethoven

renewed the fugue...

But he was such a visionary
that the old bach purists,

they accused him
of not mastering it.

Good day?

And now
to reach the heart

of your suffering
Western church,

I have to jump ahead
three years in the story

and talk about my meeting

with what I would call

"the dangerous men."

I was alone with marcel
a lot during this period,

as Jerome was traveling
most of the time.

And when he was finally home,

he spent most of the time
accusing me of neglecting marcel,

which in my opinion

was just a cover
for his anger over my lovers.

Any sexual satisfaction,
let alone orgasm,

was further away
than ever before.

I had to make a change.

And somehow the inspiration
had been right there

beneath my window
the whole time.

I could feel that it
turned me on enormously

to imagine a sexual situation

in which verbal communication
was impossible.

- Hello.
- Hello.

I'm Tobias, the interpreter.

Hello, I'm Joe. Come in.

I understand that you master
the African languages.

I do have a basis.

Who and what needs
interpretation?

Um, that man...

The one with the green jacket?

You are to ask him if he
wants to have sex with me.

Yeah? Um...

Is it a go?

It's hard to say.

I've written down
the time and the place,

but, um...

Honestly I wouldn't like
to take responsibility

for the precise wording
in this case,

which I think, uh,

accidentally may belong

to a grey zone
in my profession.

It was the
address of a cheap hotel.

Why were there two?

My words exactly.

Apparently n had brought
his brother along.

Very sorry. Sorry sorry sorry.

Why
was he so angry?

Clearly it was
something personal between them,

but later I heard that
performing a sandwich

requires great sensitivity,

since the men apparently can feel
each other through the tissue.

I imagine the quarrel
had already started

on the stairs and that one
or the other party

had laid claim
to one or the other of my holes

in conflict with his negro
brother's interests.

You shouldn't use that word.

It's not what you call
politically correct...

- "negro."
- Well, excuse me,

but in my circles

it's always been a mark of honor
to call a spade a spade.

Each time a word
becomes prohibited,

you remove a stone
from the Democratic foundation.

Society demonstrates
its impotence

in the face
of a concrete problem

by removing words
from the language.

I think society
would claim that...

that politically correctness
is a very precise expression

of Democratic concern
for minorities.

And I say that society

is as cowardly
as the people in it,

who in my opinion are also
too stupid for democracy.

I understand your point,
but I totally disagree.

I have no doubt
in the human qualities.

The human qualities

can be expressed in one word:

Hypocrisy.

We elevate those who say
"right" but mean "wrong"

and mock those who
say "wrong" but mean "right."

By the way, I can assure you

that women who claim that negros
don't turn them on,

- they're lying.
- So did they satisfy you?

Those ne-negros?

No.

But they showed me
that there was a world

far from mine I had to explore.

And there, or perhaps
on the other side,

get my life back.

Who are you?

I know what you do.

I'd like to be

one of the women you see.

That's of no interest.

Madame.

Princess,

I specifically said five days,

and five days haven't gone yet.

So...

You'll have to leave.

I'm sorry.

I, um...

I don't think this is for you.

How mysterious.

Will you give me
a reasonable explanation now

or shall we wait?

I can't give you
an explanation,

and certainly not
a reasonable...

What exactly were
the rumors about him?

That he was violent.

How can that be inciting?

I think the easiest way
to understand it

is to refer
to my rebellious nature.

This business of k's was

something I was
completely against.

So the fact that I was
now contacting him was

a last, desperate attempt

to rehabilitate my sexuality.

The system was
the overriding factor with k.

A system of violence?

Well, you were the one

who insisted on the
Western church, right?

And I... I seem to remember

that the systematic approach

to the crucifixion
is of a violent

and not to say sadistic nature.

Oh yes, the passion of Christ

is full
of systematic violence...

the via dolorosa,

the nine stations of the cross

and the 39 lashes.

You are beginning
to irritate me.

Stand up.

I just want you to sit

completely relaxed...

While I hit you in the face.

Nothing special.

It's just a...

it's just a slap.

Are you ready?

Let me tell you the rules then.

The first rule is
that I don't fuck you

and that there isn't any
discussions about that.

Then what do you get out of it?

That's my business

and I don't want you
to mention it again.

The second rule is that
we have no safe word.

Meaning that if you, uh,
go inside with me,

there is nothing
that you can say

that will make me stop

any plan or procedure.

You must bring a brown
used leather riding crop.

And not one from a shop
selling sex toys.

It's not a masquerade.

Third rule:

If I choose to let you in,

you have to be
sitting out here.

In other words, you...

you won't know when.

Only that it will be

sometime between...

2:00 and 6:00 at night.

I can't stay here that late.

My babysitter's
not reliable and...

I can't leave my child.

You don't even know my name!

I'm not interested
in your name.

Here your name is...

Fido.

Marcel's awake.

D'you want to say goodbye
to your mom?

Goodbye.

I'll take your coat.

I'd like you to have
your hair up.

You can use this.

Just in case
it becomes necessary for me

to hit you in the face.

Should I take my clothes off?

I'll tell you what to do...

And when.

Now you may bend down.

How?

Approach the chair.

Now bend from the hips.

Look forward. Look forward.

With your head up. Head up.

Keep looking forward.

Keep looking forward.

You may stand up.

We have to use the couch.

Come this way.

Take it easy, take it easy.

Bend over.

Lay your arms out straight.

Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Next time don't wear knickers.

Your ass is not high enough.

I don't think
we can do this today.

What?

I'd like to see you again
on Thursday.

What's wrong?

I think we should
see how it goes on Thursday.

Hi, I can't
come to the phone right now.

Please leave a message.

Yes, this is
marcel's mother again.

Uh, it's now 1:30.

We had an agreement.

I hope you get this message
and come as quickly as you can.

Uh, marcel is sleeping.

Um...

I have to go now.

Better.

Also so much better.

So much better.

I am now going
to hit you 12 times

no matter how much you scream...

'cause no one can
hear you down here.

That's, uh...

that's not how it goes.

Most people don't scream
until I hit them.

Oh!

That's it.

Thank you.

You're very welcome.

I don't know where we get
our sexuality from

or where tendencies
of this kind come from.

Probably a perversion
created in our childhood

that never manifested
itself before.

Well, oddly enough,

Freud says the opposite.

He talks about the polymorphic
perversion of a child.

Meaning that in a child,

all kinds of perversions exist.

And then we use the childhood

to diminish or remove
some of them.

Basically a child is
sexually polymorphic

and everything is sexuality
in an infant.

And yet it was deeply bizarre

to lie there

and especially to want
to lie there.

It is an interesting point
that you actually lubricated

in expectation for a pain

that you hadn't experienced.

Your body prepared itself

for an intercourse that
you knew wouldn't happen.

I can only
describe the mood as sexual.

As I twisted and turned

while he was whipping me,

I could feel how clever
his knots were.

If I fought them,
they would get tighter,

and as I relaxed,

it seemed they did too.

I don't know what kind of knot

k used...

But I know of a knot

that tightens when
force is exerted

and vice versa.
It's called a prusik knot.

It's after a man called prusik.
He was a Mountain climber.

And he and a friend
were out climbing

and they had an accident

and his friend died.

And he ended up hanging
at the end of a rope

with no possibility
of getting up.

You know, you can't climb up
a Mountain-climber rope.

It's too thin.

But he was an intelligent man,

and with his back to the wall
he was a genius.

And he took the shoelaces
out of his boots

and made two loops
and affixed them to the rope.

And he could move these up

when they weren't
under tension.

And then he could
step into them

and climb the rope
and save himself.

Prusik.

I think this was one
of your weakest digressions.

May I continue?

Well, be my guest.

I sometimes give
a Christmas present.

But, uh, you have to do
the work yourself.

This is called a blood knot.

You have to make nine ropes

with three blood knots on each.

Let me see you do it.

You decide
whether to make four,

five or six turns

in the various knots.

Joe?

Hello.

Marcel?

Marcel!

Are you fond of me still?

- Yes.
- More fond of me than the others?

- Yes?
- Yes.

You're not thinking of leaving
again tonight, are you?

- No.
- No?

- No no. Not at all.
- Are you sure?

Yeah.

Are you lying to me, Joe?

- No.
- Be honest.

It's all right.

Just fucking say it.

No, I... I just want to be here.

Why?

I don't know.

If you leave tonight...

You'll never see me or marcel
ever again in your life.

Do you understand?

Is this goodbye?

Is that what you're saying?

Marcel, get up.

- Stop it.
- Is that what you want?

Here, so you could see him.

Look at him, Joe.

Let's face it, Joe,
you're not a mother.

Let's wake him up.

Marcel, baby boy,

say, "bye, mom."

- Please put him back.
- Is this what you want?

Hmm?

- Ma.
- You see?

You see, he wants you.

Come.

It's Christmas.
It's fucking Christmas.

What is this?

Today it's madame
who must wait.

Madame, I'm very sorry,

but I have to have
a few words with fido first.

I really ought to
send you home.

Happy Christmas, fido.

I want your cock.

What did you say?

I want your cock.

No. No, you don't.

No, you don't. No.

What's the matter
with you today?

On account of the holidays

and your behavior today,

I'm going to give you
the original Roman maximum

of 40 lashes.
Are you ready, fido?

I'm ready.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

I'd seen
through k's knot technique,

so I was able to loosen my
position a bit to move my pelvis,

and thereby stimulate my clitoris
against the cover of the book.

And when you came home,

Jerome and the child were gone?

I haven't seen marcel since.

The sentimentality of...

I hate it.

Why?

Because it's a lie.

Are you sure?

Jerome understood
that he couldn't prioritize

his life according
to a child either.

So he put him in a foster home.

My only contact to the boy
is the thousand pounds

I put in his account
every month.

Anonymously.

As a penance.

After all this sadness,
may I ask...

What happened
to the silent duck?

Oh shit.

The silent duck.
I'd forgotten all about it.

One night k had been in
what was for him

an unusually good mood.

I don't know what caused it,
but he didn't hit hard

and he joked that
he would introduce me

to the concept
of the silent duck.

One
hardly dare imagine

"the quacking duck."

Oh.

Well, deep down,
little k seems to have been

a jolly man
with versatile talents.

But he got that bit about

Roman punishment
and the 40 lashes wrong.

Because it's true that the highest
punishment was 40 lashes,

but it had to be delivered
in series of three.

That's why Jesus
only got 39 lashes,

because three goes into 39

but not into 40.

You have a mirror.

Yes.

It's like a thought, isn't it?

Are you ready
for another chapter?

Go on.

Some years
later, the bodily abuse

began to have an effect.

First, rare bleedings
from my clitoris,

but then they became
more and more frequent.

Come in.

Have you heard any of the
rumors about yourself?

They say you see men
every evening.

And spend all night with them.

They say you can't be
trusted... all of them.

Why do they say that?

I suppose
they're afraid that I...

I can't keep away
from their men.

Right.

- And can you?
- No.

I've spoken
with a psychologist.

He says you're addicted,
but that it's not

the kind of addiction
that can't be treated.

They have some groups.

I know about
these kinds of groups.

I don't have anything
to say to a psychologist.

I'm not suggesting therapy.
I'm demanding it.

Even if you leave us, it'll
be the same at your next job

and the one after that.

My name is Joe...

Hi, Joe.

And I'm a nymphomaniac.

Sex addict.

My name is Joe
and I'm a nymphomaniac.

We say sex addict.

Here everyone's the same.

You should only speak
when you feel you have to.

What you're saying is that

no one can remove
their sexuality

even though it's destroying
everything for them.

I wouldn't say no one.

But let's say,
at most, one in a million

manage to live a life
without sexuality.

But you can't be
basing your therapy

- on that one in a million.
- No.

The first
and most important step

is to remove incentive
and to reduce exposure.

You have to ask yourself what
kind of incentives you have

and then make it difficult for yourself
to come into contact with them.

Basically anything that
makes you think about sex.

Joe has something
she'd like to share.

My name is Joe...

Hi, Joe.

And I'm a sex addict,

but I haven't had sex
for three weeks and five days.

Tell us how you did it, Joe.

- You brought notes?
- Yes.

"Dear everyone,"

don't think it's been easy,

"but I understand now
that we are all alike."

Are you okay, Joe?

Yes yes.

Would you like
a glass of water?

Thank you.

Would you rather
share another time?

No, I'd like to speak.

Dear everyone,

don't think it's been easy,

but I understand now

that we're not

and never will be alike.

I'm not like you,

who fucks to be validated

and might just as well give up
putting cocks inside you.

And I'm not like you.

All you want
is to be filled up,

and whether
it's by a man or by tons

of disgusting slop
makes no difference.

And I'm definitely
not like you.

That empathy you claim

is a lie,

because all you are is
society's morality police,

whose duty is
to erase my obscenity

from the surface of the earth

so that the bourgeoisie
won't feel sick.

I'm not like you.

I am a nymphomaniac,

and I love myself
for being one.

But above all,

I love my cunt

and my filthy, dirty lust.

♪ Watch out ♪

♪ you might get ♪
♪ what you're after ♪

♪ cool, babies ♪

♪ strange, but not a stranger ♪

♪ I'm an ordinary guy ♪

♪ burning down the house! ♪

What just happened?

I didn't get that...

with the car that burned.

No, I'm sorry.

I was just in too much of a hurry
to get to the last chapter.

I understood that society
had no room for me,

and I had no room for society

and never had.

I'm sure it was
quite natural for you

to furnish your room
as a monk's cell,

but as an inspiration for
the story chapter headings,

it hasn't been easy.

There's simply nothing left
for me to use.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

But if I may,
I can give you a tip.

Yes, please.

You know, I occupy
myself mostly with text,

but sometimes the text
can seem so...

So empty,
so unfathomably empty.

It could be the best text
by the most famous author.

The solution might be to
change your point of view.

I-I don't get that.

Things hide...

When they become familiar.

But if you look at them
from another angle,

they might take on
a new meaning.

You're right.

Before this was just

the stain from the tea I threw.

Can you see what it could be?

A revolver.

No, a revolver has
a drum that revolves.

It's a pistol.

Can you see
what kind it could be?

No, I don't remember

anything like that
from my literature.

Oh, but it's something
I can remember from mine.

Ian Fleming.

Not familiar.

If you haven't read that, you
haven't read anything at all.

This could be,
with a little imagination,

a walther p.P.K. Automatic,

the same gun
that was issued to bond

after his preferred pistol,
the beretta, had jammed.

Is that something you can use?

Oh yes, it is.

♪ Burning down the house! ♪

♪ Hold tight ♪

♪ wait till the party's over ♪

♪ hold tight... ♪

Whether
I left society,

or it left me, I cannot say.

I suppose you could make
an argument for both sides.

♪ Burning down the house! ♪

I was on my way
to the shady side

of the debt-collecting
business,

which among other things
involved stuff

like burning people's cars.

I had for a long time
known about this man, I.

Hi, my name is Joe.

I know that.

Come in.

I'm looking for a job.

I've been working in an office,

and I was never
really good at it.

I can understand that. I mean,

what's the point?

I believe I possess
some qualifications

and that I'm rather
unscrupulous.

I know all about
your qualifications

and they're excellent.

I would suggest

that you start
your own little business

with my help.

I understand

you possess
a great deal of insight

about a rather
broad spectrum of men.

This could be... or should
be capitalized on.

I need sub-contractors
who can put

moderate pressure
on individuals

with whom my clients
rightly or wrongly

have a bone to pick.
Understand?

Extortion.

No. No no no no.

I always prefer the term

"debt collection."

- Yeah.
- I refrain from judging

whether my clients' wishes

are legitimate or otherwise.

A point of view

I strongly recommend
you follow.

My main
qualification of course

was my considerable experience
with men and sex.

But even my more specialized
skills came in handy.

No, now this is not
how it goes.

You have to wait
until you're hit.

The two helpers that I
had recommended were okay,

but they were predisposed to a
rather repetitive technique,

which consisted of creating
as much havoc as possible

with a pair of iron bars.

Destroying your things doesn't
seem to have much effect on you.

Here was a man.

I was unable to read sexually,

so I became persistent.

Tie him to the chair.

Don't hurt him.

I can't find a stain on you,

but my experience tells me
that no man is spotless.

Luckily, you're equipped

with a very reliable
truth-detector.

I'm going to tell you
a few stories.

All you have to do is listen.

You're in a bar
watching a couple...

I now meticulously
went through the catalog

of sexual deviations
in fictional form.

Stories about sadomasochism,

fetishism, homosexuality,

you name it.

But he didn't react.

And I'd almost given
up when I said:

On your way home,
you walk through the park.

And something makes you stop.

You hear something.

Yes, that's it.

You can hear the children
on the playground.

You sit on a bench nearby

and watch them play.

There's a little boy in shorts.

He's playing in the sandpit.

He looks at you

with his blue eyes.

He smiles at you.

I think he comes to you.

He sits on your lap

and looks up at your face.

He says

he'd like to come
home with you.

At home
you can't fight the idea

of being naked together.

He crawls all over you.

- You get an erection.
- Won't you please stop?

He lies on his stomach.

You pull down his pants.

I'll pay!

You did what?

I gave him a blowjob.

♪ Why That pig? ♪

- I took pity on him.
- Pity?

Yes. I had just
destroyed his life.

Nobody knew his secret,

most probably not even himself.

He sat there with the shame.

I suppose I sucked him off
as a kind of apology.

That's unbelievable.

No, listen to me. This is a man

who'd succeeded
in repressing his own desire,

who had never before
given into it

right up until I forced it out.

He had lived a life
full of denial

and had never hurt a soul.

I think that's laudable.

No matter how hard I try,

I can't find anything
laudable in pedophilia.

That's because you think about

the perhaps 5%
who actually hurt children.

The remaining 95%

never live out their fantasies.

Think about their suffering.

Sexuality is
the strongest force

in human beings.

To be born
with a forbidden sexuality

must be agonizing.

The pedophile who manages
to get through life

with the shame of his desire

while never acting on it
deserves a bloody medal.

But there was another
reason for my sympathy,

which you find so mysterious.

I saw a man who was carrying
the same cross as myself.

Loneliness.

We were both sexual outcasts.

In any case, some years passed,

during which my business grew,

enabling me to step up
my anonymous deposits

to marcel.

Your business is doing great...

You complete all the jobs
I give you to perfection

and I hear only words of praise
from your other clients.

But...

- But what?
- We aren't getting any younger.

Oh. No, that's for sure.

I think you're getting
to that age

where you have to start
thinking about a successor.

Ohhh.

- I don't need a fucking successor.
- Listen.

A person should take
their crime seriously.

You need someone

to be your right hand,
someone to help you.

A crown princess.

The normal process

is to find out what colleagues

are in prison
or are drug addicts,

and thereby unable to fulfill

their roles as parents.

Then you find out where
their kids play football...

And you get involved.

You cheer them on
for a couple of years

no matter how bad they are.
Actually, the worse, the better.

That way

gradually you take on
the role of the parent

until in the end

you have a loyal helper that
will walk through fire for you.

Even do time for you.

It sounds like a...

Kind of an entrapment
you're suggesting.

- An unsavory entrapment.
- Call it what you want,

but if you believe at all

in the effects
of good parenting,

that kid will have
much greater opportunities

with you as a mentor
than without.

And since I like you,

I've been looking around
for a suitable subject.

She's 15 years old

from a family
of hardened criminals,

and she's been through a lot.

Last couple of years
she's been institutionalized.

Her father is in prison and her
mother died of an overdose.

She's a smart girl.

And although
she doesn't play football,

she does play basketball...
very badly.

She's chosen a team sport

because she's lonely.

I saved the best part for last:

Her right ear is
slightly deformed...

Which she's very ashamed of,

and of course this serves
to isolate her even more.

It makes her an easy target

for even the slightest
bit of attention

or sign of empathy from you.

Despite
my protests,

the clever I somehow talked me

into actually having
a look at p.

The longer I watched the poor
girl with the deformed ear,

the more repulsive
I found the whole plan.

But as if
I had foreseen this,

the meeting with p filled me
with pity and emotion.

And without wanting to,

I found myself,
weekend after weekend,

at her games
supporting the poor player.

Thanks for cheering me on.

You're welcome.

You played really well today.

- No, I didn't.
- You did.

You really improved
yourself lately.

I was
proud to introduce p

to my father's passion...

And to his world.

It's actually...

The souls of the trees

that we see in the winter.

I think they look
like human souls.

You're right.

They do look like human souls.

Twisted souls,

regular souls, crazy souls.

All depending on the kind
of lives human beings lead.

I found my tree,

my soul tree.

This is my tree.

It's not an ash tree.

No, it's an oak tree.

My father found his soul tree,

but I've...
I've never found mine.

"You will know it
when you see it,"

that's what he said.

When p reached
the age of majority

and I became
her personal advisor,

I asked her to move in with me.

I've never seen you
with your hair up.

It's so pretty.

All this time all
my sexual activity had stopped.

My groin was one big sore
from my abuse

that wouldn't heal

and made
even masturbation impossible.

I experienced definite
abstinence symptoms:

Fever and cramps.

Joe, what's going on?

- Careful.
- We need to clear this up.

I just get this sometimes.

It's okay, it's okay.

Perhaps she
really loved you.

I couldn't accept it.

Perhaps because you really
wanted it to be true.

Perhaps I hoped it.

It's very touching,
all this about p.

Then you've probably
misunderstood the whole thing.

Don't.

I wanna see you.

- Don't.
- Why?

- Please don't.
- Why not?

No. No, I have a wound.

- I have a wound.
- It doesn't matter.

No, you don't understand.

I have that thing with my ear.

I'm so ashamed.

D'you like me?

You're so beautiful.

There's one thing
I don't understand.

Did she know what
you did for a living?

P was very discreet

and a girl of few words.

Oddly, although
I worked strange hours,

she never asked about my work.

But one day she had a question.

Joe?

Why did you start coming
to my basketball matches?

It wasn't a coincidence,
was it?

No, it wasn't a coincidence.

I didn't tell you because I...

I thought you'd be upset...

And that you'd get angry at me.

I won't get angry.

What I do...

My job isn't a normal job.

It's not legal.

No one in my family
does anything legal.

A man that's helped me
in my business

suggested that I watched you.

The plan was that I...

I should look at you

to see whether one day

I could use you in my work.

I should make friends with you,

because I knew you didn't
have a mother or a father.

What's wrong with that?

Don't you see
how evil that plan was?

I felt terrible.

You shouldn't have.

Why not?

Because if you hadn't...

We'd never have met.

I'd like to go with you to work

- next time.
- No.

Will you think about it?

- No.
- Yes.

No.

She didn't take no
for an answer.

No, of course not.

How do you keep a wave
upon the sand?

With the risk of being
too clever for myself,

social inheritance

is an irrefutable fact.

If anyone knew about
the laws of the street,

it must've been p.

You're more right
than you know.

Let's shoot the fucker.

Stop! Stop!

We don't use firearms.

- I'd like to have the gun.
- The others have weapons too.

Well, I didn't know that.

But in any case,
you're not to have one.

But guns aren't dangerous.

It depends on how you use them.

Yes, exactly.

I wasn't going to shoot him.

We wouldn't have gotten any
money out of him that way.

Can I have the gun?

Thank you.

You're evil.

And now I'm afraid
one of those coincidences

you have such a hard time with

occurred
with a very special person.

It was p's job to take us
to the debtors,

so until I saw
the name on the door,

I had no idea
whose house we were at.

Are you sure this is
the right place?

Yeah.

I was thinking maybe it's time

for you to do
this one on your own.

Yeah?

Thank you, Joe.

I don't want anything destroyed

and I don't want anybody hurt.

Okay? You just show yourself

and offer him
a reasonable payment plan.

If you say so.

Of course that's how
I'll do it.

Whether the feeling
when I saw Jerome again

was love, I couldn't say.

But it was a feeling,

and far stronger than I liked.

I was actually walking home
through the alley here.

No two neighborhoods
are totally different

but still so close together

that the shortest route
from Jerome's house

towards the center
was through the alley.

Hello!

How did it go?

Brilliant.

Yeah, really well.

I made a reasonable payment
plan like you told me to.

How did he look?

Scared.

How old did he look?

I dunno.

Ancient?

Jerome was to pay
off his debt in six payments.

Every time p went
to Jerome to collect,

I paced around restlessly

until she was back home again.

I even had to find my mother's
sad old solitaire cards

in order to make
the hours pass.

Each night I was less
reassured by her coming home

than the night before.

The question of whether
jealousy is the fear of sharing

or the fear of losing
was of little interest to me.

But yes, it was a fact

that this unworthy feeling I had
managed to suppress for so long

was creeping up on me.

The evening she was
to collect the final payment

she didn't kiss me.

I took it to be forgetfulness,

but the hours passed
and she didn't return.

Every time I saw car lights,

I thought it was p
being driven home.

I had
decided to flee.

I couldn't stay in this town
with her and him.

I had cowardly made a plan
to escape and head South,

like from some ice age
I didn't have the guts

to turn around and face.

But the goodbye was sad
and strangely unfulfilling.

And something called me on

to seek further up
the Mountain.

It's said to be difficult
to take someone's life.

I would've said that
it's more difficult not to.

For a human being,

killing is the most
natural thing in the world.

We're created for it.

Wonderful.

No, get off!

Sorry.

Fireman's grip.

Oh. Oh yeah.

Fill all my holes please.

I still don't know why
the gun didn't work.

I did check to make sure

that there were bullets
in the magazine.

It simply malfunctioned,

just like bond's beretta.

I think I know enough
to say that

even if you had rounds in the
magazine of the walther p.P.K.,

and you'd taken off
the safety...

You cannot shoot
until you rack the gun.

You pull and release
the sliding mechanism.

And p hadn't done it
because, as she said,

she had no intention
of shooting the man.

I don't know about bond, but I
assume it has to be apparent

from his books
and his films that

you have to rack
an automatic pistol.

Of course, you're right.

I've seen it in films
a thousand times.

It's morning.

And the snow is gone.

So the sun must be out?

Yes, there is sun.

I've never managed to figure
out where it comes from.

It must be some interplay

between windows

and towers and high buildings.

It's not much,

but it's the sun you get
here at my place.

It's beautiful.

In the
beginning you said that

your only sin was that you
asked more of the sunset.

Meaning, I suppose,
that you wanted

more from life
than was good for you.

You were a human being
demanding your right.

And more than that,

you were a woman
demanding her right.

Does that pardon everything?

Do you think if two men

would've walked down a
train looking for women,

do you think anybody would
have raised an eyebrow?

Or if a man had led
the life you had?

And the story about Mrs. H

would've been extremely
banal if you'd been a man

and your conquest would
have been a woman.

When a man leaves his children

because of desire,

we accept it with a shrug,
but you as a woman,

you had to take on a...
a guilt, a burden of guilt

that could never be alleviated.

And all in all,
all the blame and guilt

that piled up over the years
became too much for you,

you reacted aggressively...
almost like a man I have to say...

and you fought back.

You fought back against
the gender that had been

oppressing and mutilating

and killing you
and billions of women.

But I wanted to kill
a human being.

But you didn't.

Because of a chance event.

You call it a chance event.

I call it
subconscious resistance.

On the surface
you wanted to kill,

but deep down you
celebrated human worth

and a veil of forgetfulness

draped itself over your
knowledge of how to rack a gun.

Although all this sounds frighteningly
close to the cliches of our times...

and I'm predisposed

to knock holes
in your arguments...

I'm too tired.

Well, that's good.

Why don't you lay down?

Yes.

Let me just say
that telling my story

as you insisted...

or permitted...

has put me at ease.

At this moment

my addiction is
very clear to me...

And I've come to a decision.

Even though
only one in a million,

as my dubious therapist said,

succeed in...

Mentally, bodily...

And in her heart

of ridding herself
of her sexuality,

this is now my goal.

But is that a life
worth living?

It's the only way
I can live it.

I will stand up
against all odds...

Just like a deformed tree
on a hill.

I will muster

all my stubbornness...

My strength...

My masculine aggression.

But most of all
I want to say thanks

to my new,
and maybe first friend.

Thank you, seligman...

Who perhaps is happy
when all is said and done.

I'm happy at any rate

that the shot didn't go off

and made me a murderer.

If I may,
I'd like to sleep now.

I'll make sure
you won't be disturbed.

Good night, Joe.

Good night, seligman.

No!

But you...
you've fucked thousands of men.

♪ Hey, Joe ♪

♪ where are you going ♪
♪ with that gun in your hand? ♪

♪ Hey, Joe ♪

♪ I said where are you going ♪
♪ with that gun in your hand? ♪

♪ I'm going down ♪
♪ to shoot my old lady ♪

♪ you know I caught her messing ♪
♪ around with another man ♪

♪ I'm going down ♪
♪ to shoot my old lady ♪

♪ you know I caught her messing ♪
♪ around with another man ♪

♪ and that ain't too cool ♪

♪ hey, Joe ♪

♪ I heard you shot ♪
♪ your woman down ♪

♪ you shot her down now ♪

♪ hey, Joe ♪

♪ I heard you shot ♪
♪ your lady down ♪

♪ you shot her down ♪
♪ to the ground ♪

♪ yes, I did, I shot her ♪

♪ you know I caught her ♪
♪ messing around town ♪

♪ yes, I did, I shot her ♪

♪ you know I caught my old lady ♪
♪ messing around town ♪

♪ and I gave her the gun ♪

♪ I shot her ♪

♪ hey, Joe ♪

♪ where you gonna go to now? ♪

♪ Hey, Joe ♪

♪ where you gonna go to now? ♪

♪ I'm going way down South ♪

♪ way down to Mexico way ♪

♪ I'm going way down South ♪

♪ way down ♪
♪ where I can be free ♪

♪ ain't no hangman gonna ♪

♪ he ain't gonna put ♪
♪ a rope around me ♪

♪ hey, Joe ♪

♪ you'd better run on down ♪

♪ good night. ♪

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