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1
00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:12,838
Bro!
2
00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:16,320
This steakhouse for my bachelor
party tonight? Amazing!
3
00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:18,540
We got a bourbon tasting,
cigar lounge.
4
00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:21,325
I'm telling y'all,
this is the kind of place where
5
00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:24,894
there's a dude in the men's
room with mints and cologne.
6
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,765
Okay, well,
I better take some small bills,
7
00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:30,160
because I don't want to pay
five dollars for a Tic Tac.
8
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,208
Have fun with
your meats and cigars.
9
00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:36,993
Us ladies will be right here
having cocktails and massages.
10
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:41,606
Well, all right, girls,
get your ladies' night on.
11
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,740
And enjoy these nights
while you can, Necie.
12
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,916
Once you have babies,
those nights are far and few.
13
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,484
Oh, yeah, that's true.
14
00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:51,747
Making you boys was fun as hell.
15
00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:57,274
But raising y'all, now, that's
been an exhausting ordeal.
16
00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:02,975
What are we
supposed to say to that?
17
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:06,022
Just internalize it.
18
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,982
Marty, you haven't told
your parents we decided
19
00:01:10,113 --> 00:01:10,940
not to have kids?
20
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,029
Well, not in so many words.
21
00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:15,075
Or any words.
22
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:17,555
Come on, Marty.
23
00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:20,384
Look, Necie is about
to spend the entire night
24
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:21,820
with a woman
who's already picked out
25
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,388
six years' worth of
her grandkids' Easter outfits.
26
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,564
I know. You're right.
27
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:27,913
I'll tell them.
28
00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:29,437
Hey, you know what?
29
00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:31,047
Maybe they'll be so
excited about tonight,
30
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,614
it won't even affect them.
31
00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:34,224
Oh, you think so?
32
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:36,357
Hell nah. Barely believed it
as I said it.
33
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:39,490
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
34
00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:40,926
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
35
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:47,803
Well, I'm looking good,
I'm feeling good,
36
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:49,587
and...
37
00:01:49,718 --> 00:01:51,850
and I'm smelling good.
38
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,680
I am so excited for tonight.
39
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,813
Yeah, about that.
40
00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:01,077
Please keep in mind that tonight
is supposed to be Marty's night.
41
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,774
Yeah, of course I know that.
42
00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:03,949
Do you?
43
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,081
What are you getting at?
44
00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,648
I'm just saying, you don't
45
00:02:06,778 --> 00:02:09,041
have a great history
at bachelor parties.
46
00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,743
I don't know what
you're talking about.
47
00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:17,485
Dave, Kevin's bachelor party
in Cancún?
48
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,270
Matthew's in New Orleans?
49
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:22,403
Gary's bachelor party
that started
50
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,361
in Las Vegas and ended in jail?
51
00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:30,672
It was a detention cell
at the Bellagio.
52
00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:34,850
I'm just saying, these events
bring out the worst in you.
53
00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:37,157
That's why your friends
gave you the nickname.
54
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:39,942
Did they?
I-I don't even remember.
55
00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:41,378
The Douche.
56
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:45,339
This is supposed to be
a nice night,
57
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:47,515
not an episode of Entourage.
58
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:53,956
I promise you,
I left that guy at the Bellagio.
59
00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:56,263
There will be no a-douche.
60
00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:58,830
What's a douche?
61
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:03,052
- It's nothing. Dave, stop.
- It's a feminine hygiene...
62
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,012
It's used to... Dave, tap out. Tap out. Tap out.
63
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,973
Never mind. I'll just go
ask the Internet.
64
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:17,936
Knock, knock.
65
00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:20,156
Hey.
Lookin' spiffy, Dad.
66
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,332
Well, that settles that.
67
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:25,640
Uh...
68
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:28,686
Uh, can I talk
to you both for a sec?
69
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:31,428
Well, can't it wait until
we're out of the bathroom?
70
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:34,779
No, because I might chicken out.
71
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:38,653
So, you know how Necie
and I are an unconventional,
72
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,568
modern couple
with bold sensibilities
73
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:43,092
that don't conform
to outdated norms?
74
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,313
Is one of those outdated norms
getting to the point?
75
00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:54,016
So, Necie and I discussed
the idea of having kids,
76
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:55,800
and...
77
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:58,325
we realized
that we don't need children
78
00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,370
in our lives to feel complete.
79
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:03,634
It's the decision
that we've made,
80
00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:05,636
and we hope
that you can respect it.
81
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,769
You... So...
82
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,603
Okay.
83
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:18,867
So, how's that landing
on everyone? Mama?
84
00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:21,522
Oh, I didn't know
you were finished.
85
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:24,307
Thanks for
letting us know.
86
00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:26,744
That's it?
87
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:29,225
Oh, I do have
one more thing to say.
88
00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:31,488
You boys have fun tonight.
89
00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:34,709
We will.
90
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,625
Uh, you too, Mama.
91
00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:39,931
Thanks. Thanks for being
so cool about this.
92
00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,237
All right, now. Okay.
93
00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:45,502
Babe, are you sure
you're good with this?
94
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:48,113
Would you look at this mirror.
It is filthy.
95
00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:50,290
Okay, Tina, that's not
what I'm talking abo...
96
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,292
You know, I'm gonna get my
rubber gloves and some bleach.
97
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:55,556
Oh, damn.
98
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,085
- Ooh, Calvin, listen.
- Oh, good, listen.
99
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:04,695
- Let me tell you-- Oh.
- I need to, uh-- No.
100
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:06,306
- Oh, sorry. No, you go.
- You go.
101
00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:07,307
- No, you go. Okay.
- Go, go, go. Go.
102
00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:08,612
Okay, um...
103
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,527
Can you keep an eye
on Dave tonight?
104
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:12,616
He's not gonna try
to rap again, is he?
105
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,444
He might.
106
00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:16,925
Bachelor parties are
a trigger for him.
107
00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:19,014
When he gets around alcohol
and male bonding,
108
00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:20,755
he turns into...
109
00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:25,760
There's no nice way
to say this: The Douche.
110
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:30,504
Huh. Okay, well,
we got bigger problems because
111
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:35,509
Marty just told us that he and
Necie don't plan to have kids.
112
00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:38,816
Oh, my God.
How did you guys take it?
113
00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:41,863
Well, I was disappointed,
but I get it.
114
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:42,994
But Tina?
115
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,996
Did she scream?
116
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,955
Ha! I wish.
117
00:05:47,085 --> 00:05:51,133
Tina's got three stages
of crazy before she loses it.
118
00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:56,051
One, she gets really quiet.
Two, she obsessively cleans.
119
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:58,923
And three, she laughs at
stuff that's not even funny.
120
00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:01,578
Hey, girl!
121
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:03,363
You ready to get
your massage on?
122
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,584
Stage two?
123
00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:10,935
And hopefully we hold there.
124
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,111
At least I know my house
is going to be spotless.
125
00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:14,852
Yeah.
126
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:19,030
We have ants.
So many ants.
127
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:30,694
Whoa, whoa.
128
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,653
Wh-What happened to
the limo I ordered?
129
00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:35,133
The limo didn't
have no stripper pole.
130
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:37,614
That was the point, Trey.
131
00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:39,137
Oh, check it out.
132
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:41,792
It's about to be insane!
133
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:44,882
You're welcome.
134
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:47,929
Trey, this bus better be taking
us to that classy steakhouse.
135
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:50,148
- It is.
- Where we are going to have
136
00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:51,062
a classy bourbon tasting.
137
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:53,413
- Yes.
- And no strippers.
138
00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:55,980
Well, now I got to
make a call.
139
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:58,548
Oh. Come on, man.
140
00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:01,856
I'll tell you, if these seats
are sticky, I'm taking an Uber.
141
00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:04,728
Dave, are you okay?
142
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,730
Yeah, I'm fine. Fine.
143
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:09,254
What are you doing, man?
It's just a bus.
144
00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:10,560
A party bus.
145
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,695
Oh, boy.
146
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,701
- Hey, Necie, what's up?
- Miss Tina.
147
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:22,442
This is my friend Bree.
148
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,008
Hi. So nice to meet you.
149
00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,662
Oh, nice to meet you.
Make yourself at home.
150
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:27,272
So, Necie...
151
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:29,666
- Huh?
- Oh, Tina, this is
so interesting.
152
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,929
- What?
- Did you know Bree has
some big, big news?
153
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,497
- Mm.
- She's about to be on Broadway
and In the Heights.
154
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:37,848
- Oh, is that right?
- Uh-huh.
155
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:39,502
Anyways, Necie,
I have a question for you.
156
00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:42,549
Have you ever
seen a pair of boots
157
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:45,073
in the store and said,
"I don't want those boots,"
158
00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:47,902
but later you think,
"I wish I'd bought them"?
159
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:50,208
So you go back to the store,
but it's too late,
160
00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:52,733
the boots are gone, and now
all your friends have boots,
161
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:55,126
but you're too old
to have boots? You know?
162
00:07:57,085 --> 00:07:58,739
I'm sorry, what is the question?
163
00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,392
Well, I was trying to ask...
164
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:01,959
Okay, ready for the
first two massages.
165
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:04,484
Oh, thank God. Bree,
Necie, you guys go first.
166
00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:07,704
Oh, I don't have to go... No, go, go, go, go.
167
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:12,927
You know what?
This bus isn't so bad.
168
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:15,146
Man, you know what?
It is kind of fun.
169
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:16,191
Yeah, man.
170
00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:17,453
Whoa! Okay, then.
171
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:20,412
Uh, why is this pole warm?
172
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:22,893
Wait a minute.
Was it just used?
173
00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:24,242
No, man.
174
00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:26,549
The heater pole is a feature.
175
00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:29,639
I'm gonna need
hand sanitizer.
176
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:33,164
I got you.
177
00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:35,210
What?
178
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:37,734
This thing is full
of Jell-O shots!
179
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,214
Oh, boy.
180
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,390
Well, all right!
181
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,349
What are you doing, Trey?
182
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,962
Jell-O shots?
Are we pledging a sorority?
183
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:52,444
I guess one won't hurt.
Yeah, to Marty.
184
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:53,794
To Marty.
185
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,099
All right.
186
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:59,190
I think someone put
alcohol liquor in these.
187
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,760
You know, things went
so well with Mom and Dad,
188
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,371
I'm actually in a
Jell-O shots mood.
189
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:09,461
Hey, Dave? Dave, I thought
we agreed to one shot.
190
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:12,552
Yes, one green shot.
These are purple.
191
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:15,772
This must be Jell-O, because
jam don't shake like that!
192
00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:17,078
- Let's go, boys!
- Hey...
193
00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,476
Marty, I didn't think
this night could get any better.
194
00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:27,871
But there's a Snorlax
in this room.
195
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:32,876
Okay, okay, use your lucky
Poké Ball to catch them,
196
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,835
but don't let my brother
see what you're doing.
197
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:37,011
- Hey, what's up?
- Whoa! Uh...
198
00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,056
Looking at sports!
199
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:41,363
- Sports.
- Sports.
200
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,844
Okay. Yeah.
201
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,848
Ah, what a night.
202
00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:49,937
Out on the town
with my boys,
203
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:53,549
enjoying steaks,
whiskey and cigars.
204
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,421
Manly men manning it up.
205
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:01,992
Daddy! Help me,
it's in my lungs!
206
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:04,342
Boy, it's not even lit.
207
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,432
But it's about to be!
208
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,876
Marty, your friend is so cool.
209
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:20,881
Gentlemen, who here has
done a bourbon tasting before?
210
00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:24,841
Oh, uh, Montez and I
are familiar.
211
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:27,452
M-Montez, where are you at?
Hey, Montez.
212
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:31,369
Dave, Dave, would you
calm down, man?
213
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,458
Hmm. Uh-oh.
214
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,199
Dad's mad.
215
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:40,509
Now, the reason we use snifters
is: it concentrates the nose.
216
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,467
And if you give it
a little swirl...
217
00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:43,860
Mmm!
218
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,910
My tummy is a-toasty.
219
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,522
Maybe I should just go ahead
and take your dinner orders.
220
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,132
- Yeah, yeah.
- Ooh, I got you.
221
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:59,093
Simone, tomahawk steaks
all around. Rare.
222
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:01,138
Still mooin'.
Derek, can I get a moo?
223
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,226
Moo!
224
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:03,793
Yeah, Derek!
225
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,056
Uh, no, no, no. No mooing.
226
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,406
Simone, I don't want
my steak rare.
227
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:09,625
I want it well-done.
228
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,714
All right?
No mooing at all.
229
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:13,455
Dead.
230
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:16,588
Only thing red I want to see
on my plate is ketchup.
231
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:21,898
Dudes, what are we doing?
232
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:24,205
Marty is about to get married,
and we're just sitting here
233
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,207
like a bunch of babies
at a baby shower.
234
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:28,992
What?
235
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,870
What is going on?
236
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,436
Trey, is there a club
in the back?
237
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,177
Oh, my God.
238
00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:41,788
I'm just as shocked
as you are.
239
00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:47,619
The bachelor party gods
have spoken.
240
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,317
And they have said,
241
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,014
"Let it be lit."
242
00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,451
No, no, Dave, Dave... Dave, Dave, Dave...
243
00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:55,410
And so it was!
244
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,108
Trey, don't. No, no.
245
00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,588
Okay. Listen, guys,
246
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:00,894
I got to go in there
and get them.
247
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,417
I promised Gemma
that I wouldn't let Dave
248
00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:05,072
go off the deep end.
I got to go get him.
249
00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:11,905
Yo, it's been a minute
since Dad was in a club.
250
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:14,472
Well, don't worry about Pops.
He can handle himself.
251
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,911
Uh-uh, no, no, no.
252
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:20,087
He's on his own.
The Douche is loose.
253
00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:26,006
So, Bree seems nice.
254
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:27,659
Who?
255
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,792
Necie's friend.
256
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:32,012
Oh, yeah, yeah. Great, great.
257
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:35,755
Oh, you know,
I bet if we went to New York,
258
00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:37,800
she could get us house seats
to In the Heights.
259
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:40,368
Oh, that'd be so fun, right?
260
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,762
I haven't been to New York
since high school.
261
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,111
Mmm.
262
00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:46,287
Not to brag,
but I was in Model UN.
263
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:49,203
I represented
the country of Cameroon.
264
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,295
Tina?
265
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:57,820
Oh, crap.
266
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:01,693
Isn't this great, Bree?
267
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:04,435
I can't remember
the last time I had a massage.
268
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:07,003
Oh, yeah.
269
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,747
You know, you should
treat yourself more often.
270
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:13,357
Miss Tina?
271
00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:17,535
I'm so glad we're
going to have a chance to chat.
272
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,459
You know what?
I'd like to propose a toast.
273
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:36,990
Dudes, you have got
to come in there.
274
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:40,602
Dave, where'd you
get the tiara?
275
00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,734
Hmm? Oh, it's a crown.
276
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,998
I'm royalty in there.
277
00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:48,044
Derek, come on.
278
00:13:48,175 --> 00:13:49,741
Okay, but don't lose me.
279
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,832
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, guys, guys, guys, come on.
280
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,703
Come on. Look,
sit down. Okay?
281
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:58,315
Wait, look. My pops is trying
to give a speech. Come on, Dave.
282
00:13:58,446 --> 00:14:00,187
You're right. Sorry.
283
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:01,884
Uh, Derek, sit down.
284
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:05,583
Show a little respect.
Calvin, the floor is yours.
285
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,498
Thank you, Dave.
286
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:11,851
Uh, I'd like to propose
a toast to my son Marty.
287
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,461
Hey.
288
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,724
I mean, it seems like
only yesterday I was holding you
289
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,813
in my arms
for the very first time.
290
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:20,424
Next thing you know,
you were a little kid
291
00:14:20,555 --> 00:14:22,426
on my shoulders at the zoo,
292
00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:25,777
just going on and on
with your penguin facts
293
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:28,345
while your snow cone
dripped on my head.
294
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:32,306
But I just let it drip
because I never
295
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,656
wanted you to stop
telling me things.
296
00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:39,095
The amount of joy that you
and Malcolm have given me,
297
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:41,141
it's just been amazing.
298
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:43,926
The Christmas mornings,
the school projects,
299
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:45,841
even the broken arms.
300
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,368
I wouldn't change one minute
of it for anything.
301
00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:54,197
Now you're getting married.
302
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:58,332
That means I got to let you go.
303
00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,769
So...
304
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,553
To my baby boy Marty.
305
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,468
I love you, son.
I love you, man.
306
00:15:04,599 --> 00:15:06,862
Ah...
307
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:09,909
I want babies!
308
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:17,481
I want snow cone juice
to drip on my head.
309
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,396
I want babies so bad.
310
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:25,228
Mmm.
311
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,926
What's that scent?
312
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:28,797
Huh, I think it's lavender.
313
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,105
Ooh, I think you're right.
314
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:36,936
While we're on the subject...
315
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,372
Why do you hate kids?
316
00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:41,549
What? I love kids.
317
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,768
I'm godmother
to both of Bree's kids.
318
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,814
Who the hell is Bree?
319
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,643
The woman you kicked off
the massage table.
320
00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:50,253
Oh.
321
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,995
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
th-the one from Hamilton.
322
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:59,349
I mean, what is it?
Is it about your career?
323
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,047
Traveling?
324
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,571
Do you have a bad relationship
with your mother?
325
00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:06,574
I love my mother.
326
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:10,012
I think we'll
take a five.
327
00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:14,843
Is it your body?
Because...
328
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,758
I can carry the baby.
329
00:16:17,889 --> 00:16:21,241
My doctor says I have the uterus
of a 24-year-old.
330
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,421
Miss Tina...
331
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:30,598
there are so many things
I want to do with my life.
332
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,993
Being a mother just doesn't
happen to be one of them.
333
00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:39,389
I just don't get it.
334
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,740
How could you not want
to be a mother?
335
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:45,961
It's just who I am.
336
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:48,529
How could you not want
to be a boxer?
337
00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:51,662
Come on now,
that's totally different.
338
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:54,056
Mm, they both hurt.
339
00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:58,365
Tell me about it.
340
00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:00,845
But children, they-they bring
341
00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:03,370
so much laughter and-and joy.
342
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:06,895
Marty brings me so much
laughter and joy.
343
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,289
Yeah, okay,
but Marty is...
344
00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:10,768
We love each other,
345
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:14,381
and we're happy
with the choice we've made,
346
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,861
even if it's not the choice
you would've made.
347
00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:21,170
You're right.
348
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:25,696
I've been putting
my dreams on you,
349
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:27,089
and that's not fair.
350
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,832
I guess I was just
a little surprised
351
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:33,008
when Marty told us.
352
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,532
He always talked
about being a dad.
353
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,056
Really?
354
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:39,493
Look around.
Look at all these toys.
355
00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:42,017
I've been trying to throw
these toys out for years,
356
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,584
but Marty would
never let me.
357
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:46,282
He says,
"Mom, they're classics."
358
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:51,635
He wanted to save them
for his kids.
359
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:57,032
I guess, um, this news
caught me a little off guard.
360
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,905
Marty never told me that.
361
00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:03,865
You know,
I owe you an apology.
362
00:18:05,562 --> 00:18:07,303
I don't know if
you noticed, but, uh,
363
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,392
I've been a little crazy
this evening.
364
00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:14,615
Will you forgive me?
365
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,446
- No, Tina, stop.
- What?
366
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:23,058
Oh, you're hugging. Phew.
As you were.
367
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,067
Hey, uh, Marty.
368
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:33,808
The things I said
in my toast...
369
00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:35,114
Listen, I wasn't
trying to...
370
00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:37,464
No, it's-it's okay, Dad.
371
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:38,900
Okay.
372
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:40,206
That was my favorite thing
you've ever said to me.
373
00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:42,338
Even though it was
Malcolm at the zoo.
374
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,863
- Really?
- Yup.
375
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:47,430
Marty hated penguins.
376
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,432
Scared the hell out of me.
377
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:50,477
They still do.
378
00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:52,435
But...
379
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:55,351
you're still the best dad
a guy could ask for.
380
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,136
And hearing how much
being a father
381
00:18:57,266 --> 00:19:00,008
meant to you,
I want that.
382
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,053
Are you sure?
383
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:03,707
Because I feel like
384
00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:05,883
I should've just kept
my big mouth closed.
385
00:19:06,014 --> 00:19:08,495
No, I'm sure.
386
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:10,149
You know, I told myself
I didn't want kids,
387
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:13,326
but I was lying
to myself
388
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:14,936
and to Necie.
389
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,853
So... who cried at Six Flags?
390
00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:20,463
That was you, right?
391
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,944
- Yup, yup, that was me.
- Yeah.
392
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,772
Yeah, that was
- definitely Marty.
- Okay.
393
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:26,513
Remember he was scared
on the roller coaster?
394
00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:28,863
No, you pretended
the safety bar wouldn't latch.
395
00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:32,040
- And he cried, he was crying.
- He was crying.
396
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,216
"Daddy, get me out of here."
397
00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:36,784
Oh, the guys are here.
398
00:19:36,914 --> 00:19:40,048
Derek, me, you,
Frisbee golf,
399
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,093
next weekend. Montez,
400
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,095
blow up my DMs, please.
401
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,145
I see you met
The Douche.
402
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,102
Yup.
403
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,366
Not a fan.[sighs] Uh-uh.
404
00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:57,326
Ooh. Okay, babe,
405
00:19:57,457 --> 00:19:58,458
you are not
gonna believe this,
406
00:19:58,588 --> 00:20:00,764
but Necie and I
just talked, and...
407
00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:03,724
I'm actually okay
with them not wanting babies.
408
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,465
Well, I got news for you.
409
00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,902
Marty actually
does want babies.
410
00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:09,643
He does?
411
00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:11,775
Hmm.
412
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:15,649
Uh-oh.
413
00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:17,216
Necie, hey.
414
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:18,521
Hey.
415
00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:19,914
You guys have fun?
416
00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:22,003
Yeah, yeah. You?
417
00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:24,484
Yeah, yeah.
418
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:27,661
Look, I think
we should talk.
419
00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:30,446
Yeah, I was just about
to say the same thing.
420
00:20:31,578 --> 00:20:33,188
Whoa, whoa, whoa, dudes.
421
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:35,538
Oh, God, here he comes.
Go in the house. Go, go, go, go.
422
00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:38,759
Dudes, dudes.
Where are we going?
423
00:20:38,889 --> 00:20:40,369
I thought we were gonna go out
and slam some waffles.
424
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,502
Dave, come on,
let's go home.
425
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:45,331
Let's go home, buddy. Come on.
426
00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:49,117
Hey, Derek, check this out.
This is who I'm married to.
427
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,424
- Smokeshow.
- Okay.
428
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:02,609
Captioning sponsored by CBS
429
00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:05,394
and TOYOTA.
430
00:21:05,525 --> 00:21:08,484
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
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