All language subtitles for The Mindy Project (2012) - S06E09 - Danny in Real Life (1080p Blu-ray x265 Panda).eng

Man, I dread these
chemotherapy mornings.

Especially since you told
me Nurse Chris was gay.

- I thought he was flirting with me.
- Well, you know what?

Why don't we give you
something to look forward to?

After chemo, I'm gonna treat
you to some ice cream-o.

Oh, rum raisin, here I come.

Aw, please get a flavor that I like.

You know I'm gonna end up
eating most of it, anyway.

Traditore.

Danny, what are you doing here?

- Tratidore.
- What does that mean?

It's Italian for traitor.

Mindy, how could you?

Hiding my mother's own
cancer diagnosis from me?

- Are you kidding me?
- Hey, hey, keep it down.

For the record, it is not my fault.

She made me promise not to tell you.

What? Promise not to tell me?

That's nuts. We tell
each other everything.

We're best friends. I write
you a letter every night.

It's a lot. And I appreciate it.

Oh, sweetie, it's just
that I know how you get.

How I get? How I get?
What the hell does that mean?

It means that you go psycho
over the smallest things.

For instance, how long have you
been waiting here to pounce on us?

Not long. A couple hours. I organized

your books. I did my sit-ups. I'm cool.

Oh, sweetheart. Honey, I just didn't

want you to worry.

We're both so sorry.

Ma, you I forgive.

You're being stoic to protect your baby.

You, on the other hand, unforgivablio.

- I don't think that's Italian.
- Ma, from now on,

I'm taking you to chemo. Me and you.

And then we're going to church to pray.

And we're gonna ask the Holy Ghost

to knock some sense into this one.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Hey, Dr. C. How's it going?

- Fine, Tamra.
- Oh, hey, Danny.

- Long time no see.
- Hi, Jody.

- How's it going?
- Danny, what a treat.

Shall I make you a cup
of lapsang souchong?

- No, absolutely not.
- Dr. C., so great to see you.

Okay, you I barely know. Look, everyone,

I don't have time for the
individual pleasantries.

I'm in a bad mood.
Don't take it personally.

It's like at the Oscars,
when you acknowledge

your family and the Academy, goodbye.

- Let's go, Ma.
- Oh, my God.

My favorite man.
Let me see those smackers.

Oh, yeah. We have a lot
of catching up to do.

Uh, Morgan, I don't have time right now.

Uh, I just need 90 minutes.

I'll give you 15 seconds.

- 15 seconds?
- Yeah.

Okay, uh, I'm blanking.
Did you see "Wonder Woman?"

I didn't see it. What
happens? No spoilers.

We're pregnant and getting married.

God bless. Let's go, Ma.

- Salud.
- But that wasn't it.

That wasn't... Damn it.

It's good to see him.

Everyone, I am so excited to announce

that I will be hosting
Tamra's "braby" shower.

♪ Oh ♪

"Braby" is a fun portmanteau

word combining two ideas.

Oh. What?

Guys, it's a bridal and baby shower.

- Isn't that hella sweet?
- Aww.

It is so inspiring to
have a female doctor

- that I can look up to.
- Oh.

Hey, hey. Tamra, what the hell?

I hired you, okay? I was the one that

introduced you to your
probably first husband.

Also, I'm planning your baby shower.

Guys, I have rented a room
in the Rainforest Café.

We're gonna be doing a
screening of "Boss Baby."

If they can hook up a TV.
They have yet to call me back.

Hey, we love you so much.
We're so grateful for you.

But Dr. Z is a little
classier and wealthier.

Oh, oh!

It's settled. Anna will
host the braby shower.

Mindy, you can host something else.

You know, I recently got my citizenship.

What? You're a citizen?
What about our wall?

Oh, no, no, no.

- I have a quick announcement.
- Please.

Pardon me.

I've met a woman, I've fallen in love,

and we're moving to Africa together.

Colette is coming with us.

- It's true.
- Bye.

- Um...
- Huh?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

- Jody?
- Now?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're leaving?

This is the single most
irresponsible thing

I've ever heard. And I work here.

- With her.
- Yeah, with me.

What... I thought you'd be happy for me.

I finally met an accomplished,
age-appropriate woman.

She even remembers "Dukes of Hazzard."

You all thought that was some
racist fever dream I had.

Tamra and Morgan are going on

their honeymoon to Essence Fest

and then Tamra is going
on maternity leave.

Without Colette, we'll have no nurses.

Oh, well, these are
just the sorts of small

logistical issues that
you smart Ivy Leaguers

can figure out all by yourselves.

You were fine before we got here.
You'll be fine after we leave.

This is reprehensible.

Okay, the office is under
financial strain as it is.

You know, this is last
year's stethoscope.

Everyone has noticed.

Jeremy, I don't want to
leave on these terms.

What if a hippo snaps me in half,

and my last thought is how
I left things with you?

Well then, that's between
you and your hippo.

I can't believe I once gave
a pint of my own blood

for you to fail a paternity test.

Ladies.

I don't know, Morgan. I'm torn.

Part of me is really happy for Jody.

You know, for maturing
and finally finding someone.

But I'm gonna miss him.

Well, if it makes you
feel any better, Dr. L,

I will never leave this practice.

I don't have a lot of options
'cause of my criminal record

and personality, etcuh etcuh.

That didn't make me feel much better.

Sorry.

Oh, it's from Annette.

Chemo is at 3:00.

Can you bring the next
"Gilmore Girls" DVD?

I hope Rory gets into her study abroad.

Is that a good idea?

Danny seemed pretty
adamant that I stay out of it.

His "Mindy" vein was popping.

The bad one in his forehead,
not the good one.

Gross. But I want you to be there.

He's just gonna have to deal.

Okay, I'll be there.

With Lorelai and Rory and Luke

and all the other quirky white people.

Hey, what's the name of
the country we're going to?

I couldn't find it on a map.

Oh, the names and borders keep changing

because of warlord this and coup that.

I know the flag always has a gun on it.

Boy, the Kimball-Kinneys

- love adventure, don't we?
- Yeah.

Bonjour, everyone.

Welcome to orientation and

to a new chapter in your life.

All brought to you by
Médecins Sur Le Front.

Welcome, mes amis, to
Physicians on the Front.

Hey.

I just wanna say I'm
so sorry about earlier,

and I think it's really
cool that you reconsidered.

I didn't. Ma insisted,
and I didn't want to argue

with a cancer patient, okay?
The focus here is cancer,

not these petty fights.
This is about cancer.

Okay, I think you used that word a lot.

- What word? Cancer?
- Yes, Cancer.

And I just think it might be kind
of a bummer for her to have

- to hear it over and over again.
- It is a bummer. It's cancer.

Now, look, when we get inside,
let me handle things.

My ma, my rules. I don't tell

your ma to make globbity gloop.

- That's pretty offensive.
- I'm sorry,

I can't learn every name of
every food in the world.

My ma has cancer.

And together,

we can tell violence and famine

Au revoir.

After surveying hundreds
of health professionals

on their return from
Physicians on the Front,

we have narrowed their experience

into some pros and cons.

Pro: Helping the less fortunate.

That sounds nice.

Con: Disease.

Con: Kidnapping.

Con: Child soldiers.

Con: No Internet access.

Con: A sense of existential ennui.

Oui, in the front.

Are you going back to the pro list?

Oh, oui, uh...

I think we've covered it.

Con: Deadly bugs.

Con: No Christmas.

Previously on "The Gilmore Girls."

Rory wants to study art
history abroad in Paris.

I hope it happens. She's so talented

- at her water colors.
- No, no, no.

She should stay in Stars
Hollow and do bookkeeping.

That's what I did.

- And I had a good enough life.
- Tell you one thing.

Rory's grandmother agrees with you.

But Lorelai has different ideas.

And we're gonna find out
exactly what they are.

Sir, if you stand any closer,
you're gonna have to buy me dinner.

Are you sure you got
the proportions right?

- You went awfully fast.
- No, sir.

I've only been doing this for ten years.

Five in the military.

Well, thank you for your service.

But I don't like your attitude.
I don't like your tone at all.

Danny, don't bother him.
He knows what he's doing.

I don't know this guy.
He could be a serial killer.

He's not a serial killer,
Danny. It's Nurse Chris.

But where's the oncologist? I mean,

does Dr. Richlin ever show up?
Or do the three of you decide

what the treatment's gonna be
over junk food and chick flicks?

Danny, settle down.

Danny, everything's fine, okay?

And I frankly don't think it's helpful

for you to tell people
how to do their jobs.

Everything's not fine here. Okay, Mindy?

Why are you even
here in the first place?

Okay, look. You're upset.

Your mom's sick, I understand.

So, I... I'm just gonna go.

I'm gonna go.

Nice going.

Now you put a damper on "Gilmore Girls."

I mean, can you believe that

Danny would say that to me?

Words cannot express...
No, reaction GIFs...

Cannot express how hurtful it was.

I'm sorry, can I have my
coffee cake back now?

No, Anna, no.

Ooh, just who I wanted to see.

Morgan and Tamra are
stuck at the hospital.

It's on lockdown. Something about a body

walking out of the morgue. Anyway,

I thought us three could discuss

a joint wedding gift for them.

A group gift? That's great.

The easiest way to cheap out.

Are we talking Tamra-
Morgan wedding gifts?

I thought we could all go in
on something they really need.

Like a buffalo head for the nursery.

Did someone hear something? It's like

the brittle squeak of a former friend.

Oh, I see.

You're pretending not to hear me.

- Very mature.
- No, it's... lt's still there.

Oh, we'll get an exterminator.

Anyway, anyway, um,

I thought us three loyal doctors

could split a gift together.

I do like the idea of going in on a gift

without the taint of betrayal.

If you guys feel really strongly,

then I think that's what we should do.

And Jody can just figure
out his own gift.

Great, it's settled.
The three of us will split

a vintage chaise longue from
the home of Wallis Simpson.

I already ordered it.
It didn't fit in our apartment.

Fine, I'll buy the buffalo head myself.

Probably have to be a smaller animal,

but that mounted muskrat
will come from the heart.

I mean, he hates it when we commandeer

two tables during rush hour.

No, he only hated it that one time...

I don't get this show.
Why do they gotta talk so fast?

Any time anything happens,
someone's got a little remark.

That's called good writing.

You want good writing?

Let me show you "JAG" sometime.

You are not much fun to watch this with.

No, you're not.

Yeah, I'm glad you turned it off.

Now we can focus on why we're here.

Cancer.

Breast cancer.

Ma, I can't believe the
breast that gave me life

is now trying to take yours.

Danny, you gotta pull it together.

You're really bumming everybody out.

Hey, Ma, you wanna see
some pictures on my phone?

- Yes.
- I was in Miami.

- Yeah?
- It was leather week.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't show her that.

Come on, those guys are too hot.

She needs to stay calm, okay?
And we need to focus.

Okay, Ma, you can't win a battle

without a good battle plan.

Any good general will tell you that.

Okay, fine.

What's the battle plan, Custer?

A book called

"Curing Cancer Through
Prayer and Healthy Eating."

Now, I thought I'd read aloud from it

during each of these sessions

to soothe and inspire you.

"Introduction. The Lord is our savior.

"Could he also be our nutritionist?

"Over the next 500 pages,

"I'll attempt to answer that question."

Just do it, Morgan.

I'm sorry, you want me to
shoot you in the foot?

I have terrible aim. Think
about our bathroom floor.

Look, if you don't shoot
me, I'm gonna have to go

to the dysentery capital of the world.

And they don't have
cable, WNBA, or lesbians.

Why can't you just tell your
brother you don't wanna go?

Jody won't understand.

We have never been
apart in our entire life.

This way I can stay here

and neither one of us have to get hurt.

Well, except for my foot.

Okay, look, I love the easy way out.

I cut holes in all my underwear,

front and back. But you
need to talk to your...

Morgan, what...

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, my God! Ah, ah, ah!

The next smoothie recipe
is blueberry blast.

Blueberries, almond butter...

A-gave?

- Kale, banana, fresh yogurt...
- All right, stop.

Please, stop reading me these recipes.

Okay, that's fair enough. All right,

what do you guys wanna talk about

to get your mind off cancer?

Well, Mindy always
brought fun stuff to read.

Like celebrity gossip magazines
or her neighbor's mail.

You got any fun things?

You know any celebrity gossip?

Oh. Uh, Sinatra supposedly had

a thing with Nancy Reagan.

- I don't believe it.
- That stunk.

You know what? Why don't
we let Richie talk?

So Richie, how are things in LA?

Um, they're not that great, Ma.

Uh, I didn't get cast on "Survivor."

Again. And that was...
That was really plan A.

Uh, I was hoping maybe I

could get $20, $25 grand

just to hold me over until next

year's castings of "Survivor."

Let's talk about that later.

You know what I'd like?
I would love one of those

- cupcakes that Mindy made.
- I threw those out.

But I got you something
better than cupcakes.

Jicama.

All the crunch of apple
with the taste of air.

- Okay, out.
- What?

Out. Look, I love you.

And I can't believe I'm saying this,

but you're the worst part of chemo.

- Me?
- Yeah, you. Go.

Richie, let me see the Miami pictures.

- Come on.
- This is Rudy.

That's Raul. That's the, uh...

That's the belt you
gave me for Christmas.

I didn't know you could
do that with a belt.

- They're twins.
- Oh, aren't they... they're...

Oh, my.

Hola, señor.

Dr. Lahiri?

Uh, I'm Dr. Lahiri.

Wait, did you just think I

was a male Hispanic janitor?

Yes, but only because of your build

and the fact that you were rooting

around in that trash bin.

Okay, earlier, I threw out a

donut to prove that I could

take a bite and leave it.
And now that I've done that,

I want the donut.

Mary Hernandez. Jody's girlfriend.

Wow, I'm so excited to meet you.

Jody usually only dates jailbait.

We're talking super young, super tight,

legal, but barely. And like...

You know what? I think that's...

That's probably all I needed to hear.

I actually came to talk to you.

I hear that you and the
other doctors are giving

Jody a hard time about
leaving for Africa.

Yeah, Mary. We are.

To be honest, he's
really screwing us over.

And aren't you moving kinda fast?

Jody took longer to
pick a new haberdasher.

Well, I think that our relationship

has been really good
for Jody. He's evolving.

He hardly ever calls me Colette
when he tells me he loves me.

We... We... We just bought
a mosquito net for two.

He keeps a locket of my

hair in his pocket watch.

So, you guys are pretty serious, huh?

Yeah, I mean...

We're in love.

Well, I thought that I could
come here and convince you.

Obviously, I can't.

But, uh, I tried.

Nice meeting you.

There you are.

An automatic dog feeder?

Oh, yes! Thank you, guys. Thank you.

Babe, you have really outdone yourself.

I mean, this truly is the perfect blend

of a baby and a bridal shower.

And the baby bottles filled with rosé

were a sparkling touch.

Oh, Jody came. The gall.

Hello, Jeremy. Where do we put gifts?

I wonder if anyone will "ferret" out

what I got the happy couple.

Anna, keep a lookout for party crashers.

I believe the Ghost of
Friendships Past is in the area.

Look, I brought Dr. Montpellier,

the head of our program,
to explain to you

how important our work is.

Thank you for having me. Where I work,

there is such high infant
and bridal mortality

that such a party would be impossible.

Now I hear two ghosts.

Maybe we should call a Ghostbuster.

- Jeremy...
- Jeremy.

- Oh, Anna...
- Thank you for coming.

Oh, my... Colette. My darling.

What happened to your perfect foot?

Oh, bad news.

I lost a toe in an accident.

Dropped a hockey skate
right on top of it.

- Oh.
- Clean cut.

Well, I guess I'm not
gonna be able to go

- to Physicians on the Front.
- Oh, no.

And you were so excited too.

No, I have great news
for you, ma chérie.

It is not a problem. Many of our

physicians and nurses suffer injuries

and continue to be a valuable
part of our program.

- There you go.
- Well, hah, that's...

That's great news.

But how many toes would it take

to get out of the program?

We have a doctor who is just
a torso in a wheelbarrow.

Oh, my God.

Oh, all right. That's it.

I ain't going on this trip.

Colette, I am shocked.

Why wouldn't you want

to accompany your older brother

on a perilous medical trip

to be with the woman he loves?

Well, at least one Kimball-Kinney

has a sense of loyalty to Shulman's.

Nah, it's more like hatred of travel

mixed with mild xenophobia.

How does it feel, Jody?

Enjoying the salty
aftertaste of betrayal?

No, I am not.

It seems everyone I know
is against me going,

and now even my own sister
thinks it's a bad idea.

I suppose Dr. Hernandez
and I can just part ways.

It's only three years
and half a world away.

- We can survive that.
- Oh no, she will be mine by then.

- God.
- Dr. K...

I know you value my opinion
above everyone else's.

And I am glad you're staying.

But just so we're clear, we
already gave up your seat

at the wedding. But
you're welcome to come

- to the endless church part.
- But not the food part.

Excuse me.

You know it's a big deal if
I'm willing to step away

from the fondue station
to say something.

- Yeah, you finished it. It's all gone.
- It's not pouring out,

but you can still scrape at it.

- Sorry.
- The point is,

yes, it's really annoying

that Jody is leaving us

right when he stopped
being a huge sexist

and he got his drinking
relatively under control.

Well, that's about to end. Thank you.

But I don't think there is a
single person in our office

who hasn't sacrificed
everything for true love.

There's Morgan and Tamra,
or Jeremy and Anna.

Or Beverly and the Green River Killer.

Hell, what about me? I moved to Haiti,

I chopped off all my hair,
there was that one time

- I married a nurse.
- What's wrong with that?

And let's face it, guys.
We're all sappy romantics.

And we turned Jody into one too.

So I don't think we can
stop him from going.

Mindy's right. People
told me I was crazy

when I moved in with a straight
man who owns espadrilles,

but it was the best
decision I've ever made.

Thank you, Mindy. I'm
always shocked when

you make a coherent point
without a mouth full of food.

You're welcome.

What do you say, Jeremy?

Can we part ways as friends?

I cannot.

Enjoy the pregnancy stretch

mark creams, Tamra.

They've worked wonders for my thighs.

Jeremy. Jeremy.

Remember, this is the
happiest you will be

- for quite some time.
- Oh, my God.

Danny, you haven't
said a word all night.

Ma, do you know how embarrassing it was

to be thrown out of my old hospital?

You know who gets
thrown out of hospitals?

Baby kidnappers. Drug addicts.

The occasional Make-A-Wish
celebrity who's too drunk.

- Look, I love you.
- Mm-hmm.

All right, and I don't want you

to take this the wrong way.

But you are not good in a crisis.

Not good in a crisis?
What are you talking about?

I deliver babies every day.

I Heimlich'd a pilot on an airplane.

Everyone clapped.
They gave me a pin, Ma.

Yeah, well, you're a wonderful doctor.

When the patient isn't your mother.

With me, you're a bit too intense.

Too intense? My ma is sick.

I would never forgive
myself if I didn't spend

every waking hour worrying about it,

making sure everybody else
was worrying about it too.

You see, that was very intense.

- Who are you shouting at?
- I don't know.

I don't know, Ma. The cancer, I guess.

The fact that you worked
hard your whole life

and this is what you get?

That I can't do anything to stop it.

I don't know. It's just...

It's unfair.

It's unfair. It is.

But, look.

We don't need to make
our own storm clouds.

God does that.

I need more rays of light.

So, you really shot off your toe

to get out of going with me?

Well, Daddy would have been proud.

That's how he got out of Vietnam.

Oh, oh, good.

I was so worried you were gonna be mad.

I was.

But now I'm more sad than anything.

I'm sad that we're gonna be apart.

I remember from the
moment you were born,

I thought, "This little baby's
gonna be my best friend."

And that got weird sometimes.

Like when I came back from college

every time you lost a tooth so
I could be the tooth fairy.

- That was you?
- Yeah.

I still have the teeth, too.

I'm gonna miss you too.

But I'm really proud
of what you're doing.

Well, that means a lot.

Say, now that Morgan's getting married,

you're gonna need a place to live.

Dr. L said I could sleep on
the floor of her kitchen

if I cook and clean for her.

Like Cinderella, she said.

Why don't you just live here?

I didn't renovate a 17-room townhouse

so some Russian billionaire's
daughter can live in it

while she interns at "The Daily Show."

Oh, my God. Me?

Living here?

I'll be, like, the only lesbian
on the Upper East Side.

I am going to clean up.

I expect you will, Colette.

Well, apart from Jody's emotional detour

and Mindy burning her
breasts in the fondue pot,

I thought that was a pretty
successful braby shower.

Huh. Oh, really?

I don't. I think you ruined my party.

I assumed it was going to
get ruined, but not by you.

When I first left for America,

Father didn't talk to me for 20 years.

The Reed family holds
grudges for generations.

I'm just getting started.

You need to calm down, Jeremy.

- We can find another doctor.
- Yeah, fine.

But how am I gonna find another...

Oh, my God.

I've been a fool.

Thank you.

- Jeremy?
- Jody.

I want to apologize.

I guess I thought it would be easier

to stay mad at you than say goodbye.

But there's something I've
always wanted to confess.

Oh, are you sure?

Some genies you can't
go back in the bottle.

Jody.

You're my best friend.

- Is that it?
- Yeah, that's it.

Oh, well, you're my best friend too.

I didn't want you to go.

I didn't want to live in a
world where male friendship

was less important than
work or... or romantic love.

It is important.

I don't think I would have
been able to leave without

knowing you had someone
here to take care of you.

Roger? No, Roger's got a girlfriend now.

- We barely talk.
- No, Anna.

- Oh.
- You two are perfect

for each other, and it made me feel

like you were in good hands.

In good, cold hands.

I bet she's home waiting
for you right now.

Yeah. I suppose you're right.

Well, goodbye, Jody. Be safe.

Jambo.

Best friends? What about me?

Well, as a good friend
of mine once said,

"Best friend isn't
a person. It's a tier."

Get in here.

- Hey.
- Hey.

You just missed Leo. I put him to bed.

We just read our nightly chapter

from Holly Madison's autobiography.

Holly Madison?

What happened to "The
Red Badge of Courage?"

I threw it at a neighbor who
was playing the trumpet.

Uh, do you... Would you mind

if I came in and had a beer?

Sure, yeah. Come on in.

Thanks.

I think I have a
SkinnyBitch IPA in there.

Oh, this Dr. Dan's will do.

Oktoberfest, now this was a good batch.

Mmm. Good stuff.

Oh, you got, uh, new kitchen towels.

Stop stalling.

What do you wanna tell me?

Yeah, I talked to, uh, Dr. Richlin.

And, uh, he said the chemo's going okay,

but he wants to do a double

mastectomy just to be safe.

And Ma said yes.

Well, I think that's a good idea.

Look, I know you think I'm annoying

and I'm not taking your
mom's treatment seriously,

but I really care about her.

And after her surgery,

I would love to give her a care

package or send her something.

- I want you to be there.
- What?

You have a good effect on Ma.

And on me.

I have a good effect on you?

You heard what I said.

Hello, Mindy. Listen,
I wanted to thank you

for defending my honor last night.

I think you have the makings

of a fine southern gentleman.

Well, that's very nice.

- I actually do own a spittoon.
- Ooh.

I just wanted to say that
I'm really gonna miss you.

It's been really nice

starting a business with
you and being your friend.

Well, I am touched that
you think that, Mindy.

And on the subject of our business,

since I won't be drawing salary
at Physicians on the Front,

I'll need to pull my equity
out of "Later, Baby"

- as soon as possible.
- What? Pull your equity?

That's a ton of money, Jody.

We need that to survive as a business.

Why don't you sell your giant apartment?

I already gave it to Colette.
I had to leave her something.

But I have faith that
you'll figure this out.

New York has taught me that
women can do anything.

So, good luck, fellow feminist.