All language subtitles for sex and the city s06e08

My career had reached
new heights, literally.

An editor at New York Magazine
thought I would be the perfect person

to write about the ultimate
challenge for swingers...

The flying trapeze.

Wouldn't you rather be at Jeffrey?

They're having a sale on stripes.

That's not supportive!

Step on up, good.

That's good, that's great.
Come around to my side.

I'm gonna take off your climbing lines

and strap on your safety harness.

Yes, please strap on anything

that will keep me from
plummeting to my death.

Toes over the edge,
feet shoulder-width apart.

And just a little bit more.

That's good. Head up.

Now put your right hand
out in front of you.

I've got you. Good.

Are you ready to grab the bar?

I'm ready to go to the bar.

-Does everyone say that?
-Pretty much.

Okay, hold the bar in one hand.

You're queen of the world!

-You're queen of the world!
- Ha-ha.

All right, that's good.

Keep your head up, don't look down.

-Are you ready?

And... up.

Whoo!

Swing out, sister!

Two hours later, I was hooked.

Stanny, are you watching?
I'm about to try a catch!

Maybe you should quit
while you're a... live.

You can totally do this.

Just listen to me and trust me.

Up!

All right, legs up.

Take your hands off and reach for me.

This time you got it.

Let go!

-Let go!
- No!

Ooh... No, no, no, no.

That day, I didn't get caught...

But Samantha's zipper did.

This is one of the frustrating
things about living alone.

There's not always somebody
around to rip your clothes off.

Hey, Smith.

Want to come over and do me?

What she meant was "undo" me.

But two birds with one stone.

And in Central Park,

a photographer attempted to catch
two lovebirds sitting on a stone.

Honey, a little... a little less teeth,
just relax your lips.

Oh, no. Now you're squinting.

A lesser man might have told
Charlotte to take a flying leap,

but Harry loved her too much.

I thought the point was to look natural.

That's what I'm trying to get you to do.

Well, one might ask, how natural is it
to be sitting in Central Park in a suit?

Honey, I read the wedding
section religiously

and I know what they're looking for,

and not all pictures are selected.

And I really, really want there to be

a York-Goldenblatt announcement
of our wedding in The Sunday Times.

So please, just, just
a little less teeth, just...

Charlotte York,
I cannot wait to marry you.

That's perfect, that's it!

I was having a moment!

Oh...

Ah, lipstick!

Wait, no, no, sorry.
No kissing pictures, it's tacky.

And speaking of tacky...

It's cute, huh?

Debbie bought it for him over
at the 6th Avenue Flea Market.

-Did you wash it first?

She also got something for you.

It's aromatherapy.

Oh. Huh.

You know, I was thinking,

maybe we should figure out a time
for the two of you to meet.

What? Why?

Well, she's around Brady,

and I know you're not
so comfortable with that--

I'm completely comfortable.
I don't need to meet her.

I trust you.

She bought me a fucking candle.

And it was an aromatherapy candle,
for serenity and calm.

I was much more serene and calm
before the fucking candle.

"Women with candles
have replaced women with cats"

is the new sad thing.

Oh, and get this,
he thinks I should meet her.

I sense that he wants us
to become friends.

Oh, no, no, no, no, forget it.

You do not need to become
friends with the new girlfriend.

It's unnatural, uncomfortable, insincere
and rife with ulterior motives.

-Has this happened to you?
-No, I'm just being supportive.

But there is a baby involved.

Exactly. She's using Brady to get to me.

And I am not falling for it.

Oh, speaking of falling,
I tried the trapeze yesterday

for that piece that I'm writing--

I could never!

I have the most terrible
fear of heights.

Well, I do not, you've seen my shoes.

So, did you fly through the air
with the greatest of ease?

At first, but then,
I couldn't do a catch.

All I had to do was let go
and reach for the guy,

who was very cute,
and I still couldn't do it.

You are insane
for getting into a harness

without even the hope of an orgasm.

Hello, ladies.

Hi, honey.

- Hey, Harry.
-Hi, Howie.

Hi.

Everyone, this is Harry's
best man, Howie Halberstein,

-in from Portland.
-Hello.

We're not crashing,

I'm just here to drop
off the photo-proofs...

-...and the seating chart.

-We're gonna have a quick bite to eat...
-Right.

...and then I'm going
to take the place cards

-to the calligrapher.
-Oh.

And after that, if there's time,
we're gonna go around the corner

and try to find our balls.

Yes, Harry knows how
to show a guy a good time.

Howie, this is Samantha and Miranda.

-Hello.
-Hi.

And... Carrie.

-Hi.
-Hi, how are ya?

-Good.
-Good.

Good guy. You two, I see it happening.

Shh. Shh.

Oh. Oh.

So, uh, Carrie?

I was thinking maybe you might
show Howie around a little later.

Unless Harry needs me
to ice a cake, or something.

Well, um...
I'm... I... I'm kind of busy,

'cause I have to do
a flying trapeze thing.

That is so weird, because I have
a lion taming thing tomorrow,

so that's out for me.

But, you know,
if you change your mind...

I will give you my business card.

Okay.

-There you go.
-Thank you.

All my lines are on there.

-Okay.
-Call me any--

-I'll be waiting by the phone.
-Okay. Okay.

What's wrong with you?

He was funny and cute!

And in town for a week.
What's the point?

That is the point.
It's the best possible scenario,

because you know he's leaving.

But it's, it's like...

whatever happens,
there's an expiration date.

It's expiration dating.

It isn't dating. It's sex.

It's fun, it's a fling!

Oh, please, I'm too old for a fling.

I can barely do a swing.

And if you will excuse me,
I have to go home,

so I can write about the fact
that I couldn't do a catch.

He is a catch.

You should do him!

When you're young,

your whole life is about
the pursuit of fun.

Then, you grow up
and learn to be cautious.

You could break a bone or a heart.

You look before you leap,
and sometimes you don't leap at all,

because there's not always
someone there to catch you.

And in life, there's no safety net.

When did it stop being fun
and start being scary?

I decided it was time
to leave fear behind

and have some fun.

Okay, legs up.

That's good.

Let go and reach for me.

I can't!

All right, this time let go!

I can't! I can't!

Don't tell me you can't.

I want nothing but lilies
on the chuppah!

The theme is Yentl chic!

Don't forget the candles!

You think this is the first
wedding I ever planned?

Jesus Christ, you're worse than me!

We want candles, candles, candles!

And I don't want short, stubby,
little, broken-off dick candles.

I want long tapers.

-All right, call me right back!
- Ta-da!

-It's okay?
-Okay?

You're Audrey Hepburn...

...owitz.

I'm so excited about this wedding.

We're gonna do everything
according to tradition.

We are going to smash the glass,

and the signing of the ketubah,
the hora...

Be careful, God forbid
you fall off the chair.

Oh, "the hora, the hora."

Well, maybe we won't do the chair thing.

You have to, that's the big finish!

Just remember when you're up there,
pretend you're having a good time,

hang on for dear life,
and for fuck's sake,

keep your legs together.

Nobody wants to see the bride's beaver.

Don't say that
in front of my dress.

Hello, York residence.

Yes, we have a minute.

It's the New York Times fact checker.

-Yes, Goldenblatt has two T's...

Sure, fax it over!

-We're in, we're in!

This calls for a hora!

Hey.

Oh my God,
what are you doing here?

Don't look at me, don't look at me!

Jesus Christ, Char, my ear.

You're not supposed
to see me in my dress.

This is bad luck, very bad luck.

Close your eyes, keep them closed!

Oh, no, this is so bad!

Are all brides like that?

That's nothing,

I once had a girl on Long Island
give herself a stroke.

She pulled it together
for the big day, though.

Hopefully I'll get
cell reception down in Mexico.

Uh-huh.

Samantha,
a fan of expiration dating,

was about to enjoy one of the benefits
of dating an actor...

Location, location, location.

It's gonna be cool
working with Gus Van Sant.

Uh-huh.

Here, let me...

I can't believe we don't get
to spend my last night together.

Are you dying?

-No.
-Then it's not your last night.

There.

I'm gonna miss you, Samantha.

Oh, save that performance
for Mr. Van Sant.

It's just two weeks.

-It's a long time!
-Mmm-hmm.

Would you get out of here already?

I'm late as it is.

Yeah, yeah.

And listen...

When you're on location,
don't do anything I wouldn't do.

-What does that rule out?
-Mmm, there are things...

-Karaoke, I don't do that.

He flies through the air,
With the greatest of ease

That daring young boy
On the flying trapeze

This is it.

It's a very nice building.

Miranda!

I can't find my keys.

Magda...

- You still have keys?
-I'm not home.

- Because of Brady.
-Do you understand?

I'm already at Charlotte's.
I am not home.

Is Miranda here?

She is not home.

Oh. Well, that's too bad.

I was really looking
forward to meeting her.

She is not home.

- Magda, this is Debbie.
- Nice to meet you.

All right, so we just need to
grab some things out of Brady's crib.

Last time I forgot Mr. Elephant
and Brady acted like a big baby.

Didn't you, B-boy?

He is a big baby.

But, uh...
I have not cleaned in room yet.

That's okay.

This is a nice room,
she has nice taste.

Yeah, I helped build the crib.

Really? Wow.

What's wrong, Brady,
did you drop your binky?

Where's your binky?

Oh. It's right there.

Oh.

Here you go,
Brady-licious.

Hey, wanna go to Blockbuster
and rent a tape or something?

Okay, but this time,
I get to pick.

- Bye.
- Bye, Magda.

There's a lot of dust down there.

You really should vacuum...

under...

That night,
we all gathered at Charlotte's

casual rehearsal dinner.

You're like a lint tray.
What's happening back here?

That Debbie is crazy.

She came to my apartment with Steve,
totally ambushed me.

I had to hide under
the bed to avoid them.

Seriously?

Maybe.

Well, did you see her?

Just her shoes and her nails.

-And...
-Both acrylic.

Mmm. You know what?

Maybe you should just meet her
and get it over with.

I don't want to meet her.

If I meet her, she's real,

and that means Steve
has an actual girlfriend.

Apparently, I wasn't
the only one who had trouble letting go.

Hey, what's happening there?

Oh, you know...

Bride, bride, bride, blah, blah, blah.

Hey, I just saw your fling
go into the bedroom.

It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

Still, no.

Ooh!

-It's just casual sex.
-Nothing's casual anymore.

Not even when it says so
on the invitation.

Just go in there and see what happens.

Worst comes to worst,
you can always hide under the bed.

I decided they were right.

It was time to get back
in the swing of things.

- See ya later.
-See ya later, Howie.

Oh, hey. How are ya?

Wow, this is kind of uncomfortable.

Look, would you please stop calling me?

I don't have time to chat.
I've got boutonnieres on my mind.

I'm sorry I never called.

I understand, you're busy.
That time of the year,

you know, final exams
for clown college... or something.

And what would that entail, you think?

You know, the seating
arrangements in the little car,

walking in the floppy shoes...

Squirting flower and nose application.

Continual pie-ing, the clown kissing.

Maybe I would have a fling.

After all, how bad could it be?

That night, Howie and I had sex
like we were teenagers again.

Meaning, he had no idea
what he was doing,

and I didn't say anything.

Meanwhile, Samantha
was banging around as well.

You have one new message.

Hey, I'm here. It's pretty cool.

Miss me yet?

That's the thing about
getting used to a man.

There's always a catch.

It's here! It's here!

Not just her wedding day,
but the New York Times.

Oh, my God.

I have a mustache.

It's an ink stain.

Hey, but look at me.
Now that, that is a terrific smile.

This is a nightmare!

It's probably just our paper.

Anyway, who cares?
We're getting married today!

I look like Hitler.

I am having a Jewish wedding
and I look like Hitler.

Hello?

In your paper, do I have a mustache?

What?

In your wedding section,
does it look like I have a mustache?

Oh, hang on a minute.

As I feared, my fling
had become a pain in the neck.

You do not look like Hitler.

The Frito Bandito, maybe...

The bad luck is starting already.

Hmm.

Yeah, there's a little something,

but maybe it's just my paper...

and your paper.

I have to go.

Clearly, Charlotte
was bent out of shape.

And so was I.

Come on, granny, I'll take you
to the early bird special.

Oh, God, don't make me laugh.

It hurts.

Is this still from your days
as a Flying Wallenda?

Well, that's my official story,
and it's partially true, but...

this is a sex sprain.

-Good for you!
-No, it was not good for me.

It was jack rabbit sex.

You know, pow, pow, pow, pow
pow, pow, pow, pow.

Are straight men
still allowed to do that?

No, they aren't. It's bad.

It's basically masturbating with
a woman instead of your hand.

I don't enjoy.

Carrie, you made it.

Oh, hi.

-I gotta go.
-Hi.

-The jack rabbit?
-Uh-huh.

-I better--
-Hop to it?

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

You look hot.

-Oh.

Thanks.

-Guess what?
-What?

I got a suite at the Mercer for later.

King-size bed, huge tub.

We can have breakfast before I leave,

unless, of course,
we're busy doing something else, hmm?

Oh... yay!

-I don't know.

I'm pretty tired from last night.

Yeah, well, I'm only gonna
be in town for another day,

and I want to get to know you better.

Well, okay.

We'll see...

We'll see?

I know what "we'll see" means.
It means "see ya."

No, no, the thing is...

You're just visiting, so I figured...

I... I figured it was
a one-night kind of thing.

Just fun.

Wow.

If I had known you were just using me,

I wouldn't have made love
to you like that.

We are here today to celebrate
the union of two very special people,

Harry Goldenblatt and Charlotte York.

It's important for everyone here

to be a witness to this moment,

for the Jewish wedding ceremony
has two parts.

The first designates to
the community that the kallah,

bride, and khatan, groom,
are for one another alone.

And the second part
gives them to one another.

-It's a gift...

...and a huge responsibility.

As one man slipped a ring on,

one woman was still trying
to slip a bracelet off.

Oh!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Sorry, it's a back spasm, I'm sorry.

Ow.

It seemed to Charlotte that
the wedding had gone from

Jewish law to Murphy's law.

Oh!

Mazel tov!

Hey, Charlotte, are you okay?

This is a disaster.

It's the worst wedding in history.

That's not true.

Although I only saw
most of it from here down.

Harry never should have walked in on me

wearing my wedding dress.

-Now we're cursed.
-You're not cursed.

You're married.

You just got married!

I know, but...

I wanted everything to be perfect.

Okay, you have to stop with the tears.

You already had the perfect
wedding and the marriage...

Not so perfect.

You know, I think this is a good sign.

I think the worse the wedding,
the better the marriage.

I have a stain on my dress.

That's good!

That's a good sign!

You're just trying
to make me feel better.

No, I'm trying to get you
to open your eyes,

because you're missing it!

-What?
-Everything!

You're missing your wedding.

You have a wonderful man who loves you,

who will be there
to catch you when you fall.

Do you know how special that is?

I would love to find a man
who was strong enough to catch me.

So, let's get to that reception
so you can fall in a cake or something.

Okay. Oh, dear.

So...

Okay?

Perfect, still. Of course.

-Oh. Oh, Christ.
- Oh...

-Oh, Christ.

Best of luck to you. Best of luck.

Are you okay?

Oh, yeah.

I'm just feeling a little sad.

It was just so beautiful.

The ceremony?

My bracelet.

Mm...

Ladies and gentlemen, can I have
your attention, please?

Oh, God, it's time for the toast.

Top me off, I'm next.

I would like to raise a glass...

to Harry and Charlotte,

because they found each other,
despite all the bullshit.

Huh? Hey, hey...
It's tough out there.

I mean, people don't care
like they used to.

People leave you hanging.

People...

are a bitch.

Is this a toast or a roast?

So here's to love.

And love means... never ever...

having to say...

You used me for sex!

Thanks, Howie.

That's nice.

No, wait, hey, Mazel tov.

It was a Mazel tov cocktail.

Carrie said, "The worse the wedding,
the better the marriage."

Well, then I think Howie
just got us to our silver.

Hi.

Um... Hello?

Great. Um...

I would like to congratulate
my very brave friend, Charlotte,

who knows what she wants

and who goes for it.

Not everyone can do that,

especially when it comes to love.

Some of us can't even
say the words, but--

Sorry, hon.
Good speech though.

Maybe Miranda just got us to our gold.

- Mazel tov!

He's certainly acrobatic.

Oh, yeah,
he's a regular "Jerk du Soleil."

Do you think everyone
knows I slept with him?

Yes. And they all think
you're a big "hora."

I don't like this, I'm afraid...

Of what?
What's the worst that could happen?

We'll live happily ever after?

Ho!

And, of course,
this being a wedding,

there was one more catch to go.

Okay... Ooh... Who's ready
to catch the bouquet?

Not me.

I've lit myself on fire,
I showed emotion in public...

I think I'm done.

Oh, you were fabulous.

I believe you mean "flammable."

Okay, now you're done.

It wasn't a perfect catch...

And neither was mine.

But I survived,

because I have a good safety net.