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1
00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:16,059
Calvin, this place is
a real hot spot.
2
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:18,235
They're known for
their Rosé Lemonades.
3
00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:21,891
Did you order these
for our wives
4
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:24,633
or is the cast of
Sex and the City on the way?
5
00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,809
No, Calvin, these are for us.
6
00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:28,898
I had a rough day
at work today.
7
00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,117
We are about to get
sorority girl wasted.
8
00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:34,251
Nobody's getting wasted
off this Kool-Aid.
9
00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:35,078
Whoa.
10
00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:38,908
:
Oh, my God.
11
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:41,128
Take my keys.
I, like, can't drive.
12
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:44,609
Calvin, look.
13
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:47,264
It's Jerome Bettis.
14
00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,136
He's an NFL legend,
and he's just sitting there
15
00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:51,138
drinking a Rosé Lemonade.
16
00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:52,791
Look at that.
17
00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:55,272
Stars,
they're just like us.
18
00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:59,102
Dave, that is not Jerome Bettis.
19
00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:03,237
Oh, my God, I was right.
That's Jerome Bettis.
20
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:04,151
I'll be right back.
21
00:01:06,762 --> 00:01:07,371
Jerome Bettis?
22
00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:09,547
My man!
23
00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:11,288
Hey, look.
You don't know me,
24
00:01:11,462 --> 00:01:13,508
but I'm married to your
old friend, Tina Plummer.
25
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:14,987
Lil' Tee Tee?
26
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:17,860
Small world!
How is she?
27
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,383
Oh, well,
she's Big Tee Tee now.
28
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:22,386
Not... not big big.
29
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:25,215
But old.
But not old old.
30
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:28,349
She's fine.
31
00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:29,698
Jerome?
32
00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:30,655
Dave Johnson.
33
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:31,613
That's on the house.
34
00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,876
Looks like we, uh,
35
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:35,878
all have the same taste buds.
36
00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:38,402
Careful, these lemonades
sneak up on you.
37
00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:40,752
Yeah, but, uh,
38
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:43,320
athletes like us can
handle our juice, right?
39
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:47,237
How much you bench? 185?
40
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:49,892
In the fifth grade.
41
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,200
Hey, guys.
42
00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:54,723
Jerome?
43
00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:57,682
If it isn't Lil' Tee
Tee from the LBC?
44
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,077
Romy, Romy.
45
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,252
Well, you know
I'm straight out of Compton.
46
00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:04,298
- You've seen the movie.
- Yeah, yeah.
47
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:06,213
Calvin...
48
00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:07,779
Hey, Gemma.
Dave Johnson.
49
00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:09,259
Kalamazoo born and raised.
50
00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:10,869
Okay.
51
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:11,392
I guess I'm driving.
52
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:12,828
Oh, wow.
53
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:15,309
So, uh, what are you doing here?
54
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:17,398
Well, I'm in
town on business.
55
00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:18,442
Uh, I've got a shoot over
at the Rose Bowl tomorrow.
56
00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,749
Oh.
Oh. You know,
that's by our house.
57
00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:23,143
Tina and I would love for you
to come over for dinner.
58
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:25,188
Oh, well,
I'm sure Jerome is busy.
59
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:28,452
Well, actually, I am
free tomorrow night.
60
00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,976
You know, room service--
it gets real old, real fast.
61
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,935
- Ah.
- Well, there it is.
62
00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:34,371
Tomorrow night,
it's going down!
63
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:37,635
Looks like we're
getting on The Bus!
64
00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:40,986
Next stop: Touchdown!
65
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:48,080
Sorry, but my friend
is sorority girl wasted.
66
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,604
Okay, that's enough for you,
Kelly-Jo.
67
00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,867
Come on.
68
00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:53,695
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
69
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:54,435
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
70
00:02:58,047 --> 00:03:01,790
Ooh, Jerome was so cute
in his Geico ad.
71
00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:05,228
Mm, back in the day, I would
have let him bundle my policies.
72
00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:09,319
Aw, why didn't you two date?
73
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:10,451
Oh, we did.
74
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,671
Every summer
75
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:16,326
in high school, I would
visit my granny in Detroit.
76
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,633
So I met Jerome
in my senior year,
77
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:21,810
and, uh, you know, we had
a cute little teenage romance.
78
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,986
Aw. Does Calvin know?
79
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,163
No. I would've told him,
but when we started dating,
80
00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:29,426
he had a "Don't Ask, Leave
the Past in the Past" rule.
81
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,341
Ah.
82
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:33,082
When we started dating,
83
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,519
Dave had
a "Do Ask, Do Tell" rule.
84
00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:38,218
He even told me his first crush
was Nancy Reagan.
85
00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:41,090
And yet you still married him.
86
00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:43,658
Mm-hmm.
87
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:45,964
Eventually, though, his honesty
policy grew on me.
88
00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:48,053
He's the ultimate open book.
89
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,751
He'll tell anybody anything.
90
00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,100
Hmm.
Watch.
91
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,624
Dave?
92
00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:55,104
Yes, sweetie?
93
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,453
How many people
have you slept with?
94
00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:57,454
Six.
Three.
95
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:01,545
Six? You told me
it was three.
96
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:02,851
Did I?
97
00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:05,419
Wait, did you lie
about your number?
98
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,638
Hmm.
99
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:08,596
:
Did I?
100
00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:13,253
That's the same
voice you had
101
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:16,168
when I asked you if you
dinged my car last week.
102
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:16,995
:
Is it?
103
00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:19,215
Yes, it is.
104
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:26,657
All right, you got it,
- little man?
- Yeah, I got it.
105
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:29,138
- I said, you got it, little man?
- Yeah, I got it!
106
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,183
All right.
One, two, three.
107
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:32,620
Yeah, I don't got it.
108
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:34,012
D'oh!
109
00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:36,493
Hey, Marty, how come you're not
110
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:37,712
helping us get ready
for Poker Night?
111
00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:39,017
Well, I am, man.
112
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:41,063
I'm busy making snacks.
113
00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:43,152
Uh, yeah, that'll be
three large pizzas.
114
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:45,197
Ooh, and some
mozzarella sticks.
115
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,287
Okay, yeah, and-and two dozen
mozzarella sticks.
116
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:48,810
Yeah, Malcolm,
give me your debit card.
117
00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,594
What?
118
00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,379
I didn't budget
for no damn mozzarella sticks.
119
00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,644
And yet you got enough money
in your budget
120
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,254
for a Captain Kirk Snuggie.
121
00:04:58,428 --> 00:04:59,560
It was a collector's edition.
122
00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:00,561
That's an investment.
123
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,261
Man, playing poker is
so much more funner
124
00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:06,784
than doing my English homework.
125
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,569
More funner?
126
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,048
Yeah, you might want
to try "more harder"
127
00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:11,398
on that homework, brother.
128
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:14,401
And, yeah, uh, listen.
129
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,228
We appreciate you
helping us set up,
130
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:17,839
but tonight's for adults only.
131
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:18,927
I'm sorry, Grover.
132
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:20,972
Aw, come on.
133
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,148
We got mozzarella sticks coming.
134
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,933
Ooh. Hey, you know what?
I'll save you some.
135
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:26,804
Fine.
136
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,329
Didn't want to come
to your awesome party anyway.
137
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,508
Look, oh, well.
138
00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:35,900
These poker nights can get
kind of wild, Marty.
139
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,902
It's no place for kids.
140
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:39,251
And maybe not for you, either.
141
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,471
Yeah.
Last time, you lost $100.
142
00:05:41,645 --> 00:05:44,082
Yeah, but this time,
I'm prepared.
143
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:45,606
I've created a foolproof system
144
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,869
that calculates the odds
by running every permutation
145
00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:51,394
of any given hand to create
an advantage in my favor.
146
00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:52,961
So, you're counting cards?
147
00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:54,702
Yeah, basically.
148
00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:58,314
It's, it's...
149
00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:00,272
Hey, dude, hey.
What's up, man?
150
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:01,665
- Good morning.
- Hey! Sidney!
Yo, yo, yo,
151
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,058
yo, yo.
152
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,407
Hey, this is my cousin, Whitney.
153
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:05,756
She likes poker,
so I brought her.
154
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,149
No, I brought you.
155
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:08,498
I'm the one
with the car.
156
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:09,847
Oh.
157
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,109
Why are you always telling
family business?
158
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,546
Why you always broke?
159
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,114
Okay.
160
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,507
Well, I got to warn you, Whitney,
161
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,291
I have a math-based system
that tells me
162
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:20,858
there's an 86% chance
163
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,860
that I'm going to take
93% of your money.
164
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,036
Well, I have a system that
tells me you're 100% corny.
165
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:26,690
- What?
- It's called my eyes.
166
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,129
I like her. Yeah, she can stay.
167
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,526
Hey. Oh, yeah.
168
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,136
Bam!
169
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,400
1984 Pasadena High School.
170
00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:42,793
First Team
All Conference.
171
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,578
Jerome's gonna feel
a lot more comfortable
172
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,667
knowing he's not
the only baller in the house.
173
00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:50,497
Well, I guess
174
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:53,108
everyone can reach
around your trophy
175
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:54,892
to get to my artichoke dip.
176
00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,460
Or we can
177
00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,419
just move your
artichoke dip altogether.
178
00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:06,251
Uh, guys, so excited to take
a picture with The Bus
179
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,471
I changed three times.
180
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:11,300
Huh. Are you sure
it wasn't six times?
181
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:12,344
Hmm.
182
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,042
:
Was it?
183
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:17,872
Romy! Welcome.
184
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:18,960
- My man!
- My man!
185
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:21,092
My man!
My man!
186
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,398
My mickety, mickety...
187
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:23,704
All right,
who-who wants drinks?
188
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:24,531
My man?
189
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:28,839
Do I smell artichoke dip?
190
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:30,537
My man!
191
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,719
Seven.
192
00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:41,635
Just quit, Marty.
193
00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:43,288
You've already lost
all your poker money.
194
00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:44,725
Do not lose your pride.
195
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:46,204
What? I-- No!
I can't be losing.
196
00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:48,772
I am a damn rocket scientist!
197
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:51,166
Look, Marty,
there's no shame in quitting.
198
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:53,211
I do it with jobs
all the time.
199
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,083
I've won five hands.
200
00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:56,301
And you've won zero.
201
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,739
I'm no rocket scientist,
202
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,262
but it sounds like you
need to call Houston.
203
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:02,525
'Cause you got
a problem.
204
00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:04,179
Okay.
205
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:06,050
I'll match all your chips.
206
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:07,269
My debit card.
207
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:09,097
Whoa, whoa, wait.
208
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,490
We haven't paid rent yet.
What about your budget?
209
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:11,621
Mind your own budget!
210
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:14,668
I'm also putting
in my Apple Watch.
211
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:18,715
And I raise you
my last chip.
212
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,891
Okay.
213
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:22,893
I call.
214
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:27,985
Full house!
King, seven.
215
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:29,552
Math wins again.
216
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,206
Or, perhaps, for the first time.
217
00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:32,990
Uh, not so fast.
218
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:36,080
According to my calculations,
and this equation,
219
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,952
"X" equals "you lose."
220
00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:39,214
What?
221
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:40,650
Four queens.
222
00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:43,218
Oh...
223
00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:45,133
How is this possible,
224
00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:47,265
that I'm losing to somebody
related to Trey?
225
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,441
But, honestly,
I'm surprised too. That's...
226
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,052
Here you go, cuz.
227
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,096
Thank you.
228
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,229
Oh, look. Marty,
229
00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:55,535
my new Apple Watch says
it's time for you to breathe.
230
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:57,841
My mama gave me that watch.
231
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:05,370
All right. I know they always
called you The Bus,
232
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:06,894
but back in the day,
233
00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:09,070
they called me The Truck.
234
00:09:09,244 --> 00:09:11,115
'cause I used to haul ass
into the end zone.
235
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:13,335
Ha! My man!
My man.
236
00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:14,466
Ha-ha. My man!
237
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:16,338
My m-- Dave, no.
238
00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:24,389
Hey, we're outta beer
and I'm outta money.
239
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,218
And Mom wasn't lying
about knowing Jerome Bettis.
240
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:28,698
What?
241
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:30,700
Yeah, well, Jerome
and I go way back
242
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,310
to a time when Amazon
was just a jungle.
243
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,271
Jerome, what was my mama
like as a kid?
244
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:37,402
Lil' Tee Tee?
245
00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:39,056
She was a lot of fun.
246
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:40,449
She was the best skater
in our crew.
247
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:41,798
Except for me, of course.
248
00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,974
Man, please. You
know, it's funny
249
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:45,628
how you were selling Geico,
250
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,412
but whenever you got on wheels,
251
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:48,936
your ass would crash.
252
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,635
You always did talk
a lot of trash.
253
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:53,723
Yeah, sure.
254
00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:57,074
And I remember
you loved the movies,
255
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:59,381
That's why we spent a lot
of time at the local drive-in.
256
00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:02,253
Drive-in?
257
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:03,428
That requires a car.
258
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,169
With you two alone in it.
259
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,649
Yeah. And-and my car
was so small,
260
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:09,434
she was practically
sitting on my lap.
261
00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:12,655
E-Excuse me?
262
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:15,397
Aw, it was like a,
like a summer romance.
263
00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:16,703
Like-- like Danny and Sandy.
264
00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:18,574
- Romance?
- Well--
265
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,097
Grease!
We saw that together.
266
00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:22,578
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and
Saturday Night Fever.
267
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,145
It was a-a Travolta
double feature.
268
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:25,625
Double feature?
269
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:27,801
That's a awful lot
of lap sitting.
270
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,934
Wait a minute.
271
00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:32,196
Y... You guys weren't
a couple, were you?
272
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,545
No, no, no, no, no.
It was nothing like that.
273
00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:36,026
Uh, no, it was
just a teenage fling.
274
00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:38,072
Fling?
275
00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:39,421
My woman...
276
00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:42,293
...and my man?
277
00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:44,905
:
Oh.
278
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:45,775
Oh, man.
279
00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:52,390
- This was fun.
- Good seeing you, Romy.
280
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:53,522
Next time
I'm in town,
281
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:54,697
I'm taking you guys to dinner.
282
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:56,394
- See you, Tee Tee.
- All right, now.
283
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:57,395
Okay.
284
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,877
I'm sure you've got
to get going, man.
285
00:11:01,051 --> 00:11:03,401
Got one of those
Hall of Fame meetings to get to.
286
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:05,447
And get that yellow jacket out
of the dry cleaners, okay?
287
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,144
So drive safe, my man.
288
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:07,928
All right?
289
00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:15,413
Well, that was embarrassing.
290
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:16,980
Well, yes, it was.
291
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:18,373
You embarrassed
the hell out of me, Tina.
292
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:20,854
I embarrassed you?
293
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:23,552
You were the one
acting crazy tonight.
294
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:24,901
Well, you would have, too,
295
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:25,989
if you would've learned
what I just learned.
296
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,512
I mean, who else did you date
297
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,123
that you forgot
to mention?
298
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:30,254
Barack Obama?
299
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:31,691
Nelson Mandela?
300
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,518
Ja Rule?
301
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,259
I didn't forget
to mention anything.
302
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,218
I was just following your
303
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:40,743
"Don't Ask, Leave the Past
in the Past" rule.
304
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,919
Well, if your past is
all up in your house
305
00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:44,268
eating your food,
then it's in the present.
306
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:46,357
You think it's easy
307
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:49,186
for me to hear about you
dating a famous athlete?
308
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:52,537
You were the one who came up
with the "Don't Ask" rule.
309
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,670
Look, and don't think
I didn't know
310
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:56,890
you used to be
Mr. Player Player.
311
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,372
But did I make
a big deal out of it?
312
00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:03,592
No, I did not.
313
00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:05,986
Well, I didn't make a big deal
out of your past, either, Tina,
314
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,901
mainly because
I didn't think you had one.
315
00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:12,166
Look at all this, Calvin.
316
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:17,345
Of course I had a past!
317
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:19,434
What, you want me
to start naming names?
318
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:21,044
Okay, let me just... Uh-uh.
319
00:12:21,218 --> 00:12:22,089
No, no, no.
See, now you're going too far.
320
00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:24,395
No, you're the one tripping
321
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,528
over somebody that I went to
a movie with over 30 years ago,
322
00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:28,660
who you invited to dinner
323
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,227
and then acted like a child.
324
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:31,402
A child?
Yes.
325
00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:32,882
You know, nah, nah.
326
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:34,057
Don't try to put this
on me, Tina.
327
00:12:34,188 --> 00:12:35,276
You know what, Calvin?
328
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:36,930
I don't have time for this.
329
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,235
Well, I didn't have time
for it first.
330
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:39,193
Well, good!
Good!
331
00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:40,542
- Good!
- Good!
332
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:43,501
And we cancelling Geico!
333
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:55,209
I brought you the traditional
husband peace offering.
334
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:57,472
Traditionally, that's jewelry.
335
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,041
But I'll take the pie anyway.
336
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:07,134
Look...
337
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:09,571
I know it was stupid
to lie about my number.
338
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,225
We had just
started dating,
339
00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:12,748
and you were
a little weirded out
340
00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:14,706
about my
"open book" policy.
341
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,534
You know, whenever we
would open my book,
342
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:17,927
you wanted to
burn all the pages.
343
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:23,324
No, I just really liked
the chapters about us.
344
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:25,326
Exactly. And I didn't
want to hurt you
345
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:28,155
with my typical
Dave "oversharing."
346
00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:30,418
Especially when it was
about all the women
347
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:33,943
who turned me into, well,
the sexual animal I am today.
348
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:39,949
An example of oversharing.
349
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:46,260
I admit, I used to get
uncomfortable about your past.
350
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,740
But I'm much more secure now
351
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,786
because of our
open-book policy.
352
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,657
I'm just mad that you lied.
353
00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:55,356
I get that.
354
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:57,097
And... and I'm sorry.
355
00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:58,925
Thank you.
356
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,362
And while we're here,
you know, I did--
357
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:04,191
to be totally
transparent-- remember
358
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,062
a seventh girl.
359
00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:07,890
She's the one who
taught me to...
360
00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:09,544
Stop talking.
361
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,856
Well, I should also be
totally transparent.
362
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,510
I might've spent
some time in the Ozarks
363
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:22,078
with Justin Timberlake.
364
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,647
Let's just say
we were, uh,
365
00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:27,475
NSYNC.
366
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:35,178
Okay.
367
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:35,962
That's funny!
368
00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,228
Wait, for real? Justin?
369
00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:45,058
Gemma, I gotta know.
He's all over my playlist.
370
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,198
Ah... Uh...
371
00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:56,852
Hey, Dad.
372
00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,201
Did I catch you
at a bad time?
373
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,160
No, son. Never better.
374
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:01,552
Good.
375
00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:02,858
Uh...
376
00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:04,642
I was a little embarrassed
377
00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:05,948
to bring this up in front of
Jerome Bettis, but...
378
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,384
Don't say that name
in that house.
379
00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,778
Don't say that name
on this porch.
380
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:12,085
Right.
381
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,870
Well, see, I-I created
this poker system
382
00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,611
based on math, that, uh...
383
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,743
All right.
How much did you lose?
384
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,094
Let's just say I'd have to cash
out some Bitcoin to make rent.
385
00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:23,487
Oh, no, not your Bitcoin.
386
00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,620
I don't care. Pay me.
387
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:29,929
Okay, all right.
388
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:31,408
Quit playing.
I got your back, man.
389
00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:33,236
Oh. Thanks, Dad.
390
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:34,629
But you're gonna have
to clean up this yard,
391
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:36,979
wax the cars
and scrape off the grill.
392
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:38,589
Okay, all right.
393
00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:40,243
Fair enough. I respect that.
394
00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:42,680
You know,
I'm glad you're my dad, man.
395
00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:44,987
Even though I probably could
have been a famous athlete
396
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:45,901
if Jerome Bettis
had been my father.
397
00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:50,036
Me, too, son.
398
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,212
Even though
I could have been retired
399
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:53,996
if Patrick Mahomes was my son.
400
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,916
Hey, Calvin, I'm
returning your pie tin.
401
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,222
How are you
and Tina doing?
402
00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:03,440
I don't know.
403
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:06,530
Ask Romy Rome.
404
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:08,402
So, you're still mad at her?
405
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,882
Look, you just don't get over
something like that.
406
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,667
The man is in
the Hall of Fame.
407
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,495
Plus, I've napped
in his jersey.
408
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,761
Okay, so you're
really mad.
409
00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,591
But you know what, you're right.
410
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,810
In fact,
I'm still mad at Dave.
411
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,161
Gemma, come on.
412
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,598
Is the number
really that important?
413
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:33,035
Yes! I'm not sure
I can ever forgive him.
414
00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:35,907
Okay. You know what?
415
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:38,214
This sounds
a little extreme, so...
416
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:40,216
tell me what's really going on.
417
00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:42,349
I can't stop thinking
about those other women.
418
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,394
Well, that's why I created
419
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,831
"Don't Ask,
Leave Your Past in the Past."
420
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,096
Also known as "Don't Ask
or That's Yo Ass."
421
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:54,578
I mean, I was
his eighth choice.
422
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:56,885
I bet he'd love to leave
me for number seven.
423
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,366
She's probably
some doctor type
424
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:02,978
who's really good
at full-body exams...
425
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:04,980
if you know
what I mean.
426
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,982
I do.
427
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,420
But that's not Dave.
428
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:14,511
Dave is the guy that crocheted
us all mittens for Christmas.
429
00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:19,299
Look, Dave married you.
430
00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:21,170
He loves you.
431
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:22,998
Those other women don't matter.
432
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,913
You have nothing
to be insecure about.
433
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,176
Do you really believe that?
434
00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:28,047
You're damn right I do.
435
00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:31,398
Then act like it.
436
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:36,533
Ooh, mic drop.
437
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:41,495
Oh, my God, I
cracked my screen.
438
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:44,672
Hey, babe.
439
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:47,153
I don't want to talk.
440
00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:50,199
Look, I was thinking that
I might owe you an apology.
441
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:54,029
Keep talking.
442
00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:57,380
I'm sorry that I got jealous.
443
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:00,557
What were you thinking?
444
00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:02,385
I don't know.
445
00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:03,343
I guess I wasn't.
446
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:04,953
I just...
447
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:06,911
I got a little insecure that...
448
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,783
I thought maybe you thought
449
00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:10,393
you made the wrong choice.
450
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,265
Wrong choice?
451
00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:13,788
I chose The Truck.
452
00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:15,616
The Truck is built
for anything.
453
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:17,966
Yeah, but he's The Bus.
454
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,055
You could have been Mrs. Bus.
455
00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:22,492
You know?
456
00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:23,885
Living the good life.
457
00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:25,930
Front-row seats to the game,
458
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,889
private jets,
flashy jewelry.
459
00:18:30,718 --> 00:18:32,720
Calvin, what are you
talking about?
460
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:35,070
I am living my best life.
461
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:37,507
Yeah, but being married to
a guy that owns a body shop
462
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:40,336
doesn't get you on The Real
Housewives of Pittsburgh.
463
00:18:41,729 --> 00:18:43,600
Calvin, I have had
lots of chances
464
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,298
at living that life,
465
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:47,256
but I chose you
and the life you offered.
466
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,260
What do you mean you had
"lots of chances"?
467
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,352
Oh, you thought
you were playing about Ja Rule.
468
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:57,919
What? Tina...
469
00:18:58,093 --> 00:18:59,399
I-I'm just playing,
I'm just playing.
470
00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:03,620
Calvin...
471
00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:06,797
You know, nothing can replace
the chemistry we have.
472
00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:08,190
Do you know
how I feel
473
00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:09,670
every time you walk
into a room?
474
00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:14,501
I'm guessing...
pretty good?
475
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,503
After 32 years of marriage,
476
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:18,853
I still light up.
Every time.
477
00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:22,422
I feel bad.
478
00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:24,119
I guess I should've told you
about Jerome.
479
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,773
Nah.
480
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:28,167
No, the rule is the rule.
481
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:30,081
And I still think
it's the right way to go.
482
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,996
I mean, who cares
about our past
483
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,476
when we're
each other's forever?
484
00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:34,651
Mmm.
485
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:36,218
I love you.
486
00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:38,612
I think it was
kind of sexy, though,
487
00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:40,831
with you being so jealous.
488
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,137
Made me feel like
I still got it.
489
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:44,270
Oh, trust me,
490
00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:45,532
you still got it.
491
00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:49,318
And I still want it.
492
00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:53,583
Now come on,
let's go get unholy.
493
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:54,802
Come on. Okay.
494
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:01,939
Thanks for taking me
to the movies, Calvin.
495
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:03,593
Anytime, Lil' Tee Tee.
496
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:08,685
Ooh! This is
my favorite part.
497
00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:10,687
He is so cute!
498
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:18,608
No!
499
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:32,579
Captioning sponsored by CBS
500
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:34,755
and TOYOTA.
501
00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:36,235
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
34194
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