All language subtitles for Elsbeth 301

And this is where the
magic really happens.

If you look to your right,
you will see the office

of the man himself,
our host, Scotty Bristol.

He's probably in there right
now, going over material,

preparing for tonight's show,
which tapes in a few hours.

What do you say we say a quick hello?

Actually, I-I think I'll keep my job instead.

A-And right next door is the writers room,

where, Scotty's hilarious monologues

and comedy bits are born.

The writers are waiting to hear

if their material made the final cut.

He hated it.

Monologue or the mayor bit?

All of it. Every line.

But we stayed late last
night. That was good stuff.

Are you sure you pitched it right?

Yes, Ronan, I know how to pitch.

I come from a comedy background.

- Improv.
- Improv.

Look, he just didn't like it. It happens.

Okay, but what kind of mood was he in?

Because you also have
to pick the right moment.

Because it's our job as women to always

ascertain a man's emotional
state before speaking.

Look, go ahead and
blame me, I'm used to it.

But the material isn't going in the show.

And we know where it is going.

Yes, the dulcet tones of Mickey two.

Okay, so, our stuff went in the shredder.

What'll he use instead?

He's going to the packets.

- For the love of comedy!
- No!

- This is your fault.
- No, come on!

Whose side are you on?

Hi, sheryl.

I'm Laurel, head writer,
executive producer of way late.

- Are you nervous?
- God, is it that obvious?

It's just... network television.

I'm old enough that
still means something.

Well, our audience feels the same.

- Okay.
- So, here are some questions

that Scotty may or may not ask.

Do you think that he'll be nice to me?

I mean, I know sometimes
he can be a little bit acerbic...

That's a lie! I'm always nice.

My god! You're... So
much taller in person.

Well, that depends on
the size of your screen.

- Hi, sheryl. Nice to meet you.
- Hi.

Hey, listen, it's gonna be a lot of fun.

Just relax and be yourself.

I actually brought a friend for support.

Elsbeth? Elsbeth!

What?! Hi! Yes, I'm here.

Elsbeth was my journey partner

at one of the wellness centers

- I wrote about.
- Hi, Elsbeth.

I hope I'm saying that right,

'cause I won't be saying it again.

My gosh, it's you.

I can't believe it.

I am such a fan.

You're so tall.

Yeah, we established that
while you were unconscious.

Yeah... right.

Sorry.

I came straight here from the airport.

I was in Scotland visiting Angus.

My boyfriend.

Actually... I am not sure

I should call him that, but, anyway.

I am jet-lagged, which is
why I seem a little loopy,

although some people think...

I always seem a little loopy.

You know what's
fascinating about that story?

I didn't ask.

- See you out there.
- Okay.

Okay. Okay.

You got this.

- Is there coffee?
- Yeah.

Get her a decaf!

Hey, everybody.
Welcome back to way late.

We are talking to sheryl Jacobs,

the author of unwell on my way.

So, sheryl, it says in here that

you went from wellness
center to wellness center

for four full years.

Four years and three months.

You must have had a lot of
junk mail when you came home.

Yeah, I... I mentioned that in the book.

Didn't you read it?

Well, I have to read a
lot for this job, sheryl.

Right. Is that hard for you?

Mickey, sheryl's being mean to me.

Hey, did you meet Mickey muntz?

No, but I-I know him from the show.

- Good to meet you, sheryl.
- I loved your book

and I read every word of it.

Hey, listen, let me ask you something.-

what wellness treatment do you think

would be good for Mickey over there?

I mean, obviously, he needs all of 'em,

but what would you start with first...

the weight or the air of desperation?

Well, I think focusing on the, spiritual,

being is always first,
and then the physical.

Well, that's good to know,
'cause we don't want to focus

on Mickey's physical being.

Yes, and my spirit is definitely broken.

Anyway, this has been, great, sheryl.

Would you please come back?

Is that it?

- That's it.
- Sure...

Go to sleep, everybody.

Bye-bye.

Well?

- He said no.
- Are you kidding me?

Sweetheart.

Did you tell him what the doctor said?

- I did.
- Word for word?

- Honey.
- Mickey, your heart

is in bad shape. If you don't get a break

from the stress... taking
his abuse every night...

who knows what could happen?

Look, you push me to get a
mammogram once a year, and I do,

and I love you for taking care of me.

Now, I'm asking you
to take care of yourself.

He said it was impossible.

The ratings are down
and he's got Ronan

waiting in the wings to take his place.

This is the job I signed up for.

God, he's killing you.

How dare he?

I'll be fine.

Look, we owe Scotty so much.

We'd be nothing without him.

I don't believe that.

No, you're right.

I'd be nothing without him.

I mean, you could be anything.

Mickey. You're such a good person.

Yeah, but I wanted to
be in show business.

Get changed and go home.

I'm gonna watch the edit.

Not that they know I'm there.

What would you start with first...

the weight or the air of desperation?

- Bump me that close-up.
- Yep.

I figured he would send you.

He told you what the doctors said?

Doctors? Are we still doing doctors?

Scotty, this show is literally killing him.

But we'll miss it when it's gone.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

This show is what the
three of us dreamed about,

and we have to live with
the choices that we made...

Right,

- and you chose Mickey.
- I did.

Any regrets?

Only when I watch the show.

Cute. What about kids?

No, no, no, you were right about that.

You know, we would have
never have gotten this far

if we had to split our focus.

Drink?

Yeah.

I was thinking about
that night the scout came

from the network to see
our show for the first time

and someone from the audience
called out "renaissance fair"

as a suggestion.

So we're walking down
memory Lane now.

And you had that renaissance fair bit

from the week before that killed.

It was ready to go,
making you look like a star.

Now, the guy who called
it out was a plant, right?

Laurel, good luck
comes from preparation.

Yeah. You know, it's funny...

I think I chose Mickey
over you that night.

Your ambition scared the hell out of me.

Gosh, what was I so afraid of?

Laurel.

- What are you doing?
- Just

making it look better, you know? Sexier.

Are we...

Are we really gonna do this?

Doing what? I'm just having a drink

with an old friend.

Don't you miss the way
it felt, before all this?

Well, of course.

I mean, some nights,
I... Look over at you and...

And I'm right back there,

the three of us on stage, making it up

- as we go along, you know?
- Yeah.

So in tune with each other.

So young.

You haven't changed. Come with me.

What-what's... okay.

Yeah, all right. No, I'm into it.

All right, yeah.

I've been nothing but loyal to you,

and Laurel has, too.

And-and I deserve this.

My health is more
important than some show.

Look, Laurel, I just want you to know

I've always respected and admired

- how loyal you are to Mickey.
- I know.

But I guess... Even you have your limits.

Guess I do.

Scotty, I can't do this anymore.

Scotty?

Scotty!

Was that a scream?

Mom, I thought you
weren't supposed to be home

for another few days.

Did things with Angus not go so well?

No. Sheryl asked me to
go to the show with her

and then to dinner, and I want
to be supportive of my friends,

especially now that Kaya's off

- working undercover.
- Are we sure that's the reason?

There she is!

My Gonzo!

I missed you so much.

- Were you a good girl?
- Easy peasy.

- Teddy, Teddy, I have gifts.
- Okay, mom,

- let me. You're exhausted.
- Okay.

Thank you, sweetheart.
Yeah, the-the one on the top.

Yeah, that's for Gonzo.

Yeah. There you go!

Go get it, girl!

And that's for you and Roy.

You got us tartan kilts.

Yeah, you both have such nice calves.

Thanks. That's fun.

Although... I think it's
probably a little too soon

for me to wear these at my new job.

Yeah, probably. Wait, what?

Teddy! You got a job?

Shocking, I know.

Well, Roy and I were at this
bar and we met this reporter,

and I started going on about
how the truth has been devalued

and the world needs more fact-checkers.

- That's so true.
- And before I knew it,

you know, I was hired
at the New York view.

Did you know one of their journalists

got murdered with a cattle prod?

That's how we got Gonzo.

- What?
- Long story.

Anyway, I really do think
that investigative journalism

could be the path for me.
Did you know that Chris Hayes

was a philosophy major just like I was?

- I think I did know that.
- And the best part is that

print media is a dying business,

and so the bar to entry is really low.

That's wonderful, honey. I'm so...

- Okay, mom, you need to sleep.
- Gosh.

No! I want to stay up.

I have to watch way late.

I have to see if I see
myself in the audience.

Mom, I think the show
may be preempted.

No. What happened? Is it Greenland?

Hello?

Elsbeth. Good, you made it home.

And you're still awake.

Captain Wagner.

Here I am, across several time zones,

reporting for duty.

I'm glad you came back
early. I need you here.

Talk about a high-profile case.

Yeah. I see detective smullen.

Is there an officer assigned
to "keep me in line"?

Yes, you'll be working
with officer grace hackett,

who's particularly well-suited for this.

Why is that?

Well, I happen to know she's a,

stand-up comic in her spare time.

Ooh, that ought to be
helpful. And good for laughs.

Where is she? I see.

Hi. Officer hackett? Hi.

Gosh.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize you
were having a moment there.

No.

- I'm...
- Yeah, I-I know who you are.

I'm sorry.

I always dreamed of being
here, in this office, and...

This is just not the way
I wanted to get here,

- you know?
- Y-Yeah.

I'm sorry. I'm an empath.

That's okay.

It's nice.

According to Mickey muntz,

our sidekick who found the body,

Scotty Bristol was famous for feeding

material that he didn't like

into this industrial monster over here

just to, piss off the writers.

- God, this business.
- Yeah.

We're bagging what's
in the bin for evidence,

but it's looking like a pretty unfortunate

necktie shredding accident.

Were these his earbuds?

So we assume.

Do we know what he was listening to?

Merrily we roll along,
original cast recording.

Your guess is as good as mine.

I think my guess is probably better.

Sondheim's score is a masterpiece.

And the story is told backwards,

which always made perfect sense to me.

Yeah, me too.

So... He was strangled by his... Tie?

So that means his back
was to the shredder.

Why would that be?

Maybe he turned to get away.

Well...

But his tie would have had to be on tight,

otherwise he'd be
able to pull it off in time.

But Scotty always loosened his tie

at the end of every show.

"It's way late. Go to sleep."

Yeah, that was a signature move.

Are there any prints?

None that we found so far.

Ooh!

There's a "jam override" button.

That means the shredder
shuts off when it gets jammed

with too much paper or...
The body of a talk show host.

So, that means somebody
had to push that button

to keep it going. And, look...

there's a "reverse" button.

So...

why didn't Scotty just push that?

Reverse button?

Scotty never changed his mind.

Laurel, right?

We met in the green room.

I was here with my friend sheryl.

Jet lag.

Still got it.

Well, I'd really like to take
my husband home now.

He has a heart condition.

- Let's go.
-. Of course. Just...

Can I just ask on question?
Do you have any idea

what Scotty might have been shredding?

Some material he didn't like, probably?

- Let's go.
- That's... Odd.

Because Mickey said that Scotty

used the shredder to torture the writers,

but the writers were gone for the day,

weren't they? So the...
would be lost on them.

I-I guess we'll never
know what he was thinking.

He was here alone.

Or maybe not.

'Cause Scotty... Took out his earbuds,

but he didn't put them back in the case,

as if he was expecting
to put them back in his ear

after some brief interruption, like to...

Talk to someone.

I really need to take him home.

- Sure.
- Let's go, sweetheart.

And also... these
googly eyes sure are fun.

What's that about?

I couldn't tell you. Good night.

Night. Let's go.

It's true. No prints anywhere.

Somebody may have wiped them down.

So this wasn't an unfortunate
necktie shredding accident?

I'll admit, Ms. Tascioni
makes some good points.

Well, that'll save time.
Elsbeth, what's your theory?

And that's for you.

I have gifts!

Okay.

This is for you.

- You didn't have to do that.
- I wouldn't dream

of coming back from
overseas empty-handed.

Okay, lt. Connor, this
had your name on it.

Just right. Thank you, Elsbeth.

You are so welcome.

Captain Wagner, I know how
much you love your whiskey.

Duty free, which I
thought was ironic for you.

Bannerdale 18. Very nice.

- Thank you, Elsbeth.
- You're welcome.

And Bobby... shortbread.

Officer hackett, obviously,
I didn't know you yet, but

I got a bunch of these adorable erasers

that look like hairy highland coos.

That better be a kind of cow.

There you go! There's
one for you. Whoa!

- Ooh!
- Whoa. So, how's the jet lag?

You okay to work?

Yes, yes. I just need
my first big cup of coffee.

Hey, we pay for coffee now?

We have continued to look at ways

to follow new budget guidelines.

Which is his so-polite way of saying,

"we've got nothing for
you anymore, deal with it."

Well, I'm sure it's not lt. Connor's fault.

Yeah. Well... He's the numbers guy.

It's true. I am.

Does anyone have a dollar?

Okay, I would put my
thoughts down on cards, but...

There seem to be no more
cards in the supply closet,

which is fine because I'm on the wait list

- for a sharpie.
- How are those numbers working out?

Clearly, this was not an accident.

We agree. So, who had it in for him?

Well, maybe Mickey
didn't just find the body.

I mean, the guy was humiliated by Bristol

every night for years.

Wasn't that the bit?

The experience can still feel real.

I don't know.

Mickey seemed pretty
broken up over Scotty's death.

Finished putting all the papers

in the shredder back together.

It was like that scene from argo.

Yeah, that is the one thing I
remember from that movie.

And it won best picture.

What did you find?

It was a packet...

jokes submitted by an aspiring writer

looking for a job on the show.

I actually submitted a few myself.

You know, I swear they
used a joke of mine once,

they just changed pelosi to Beyoncé.

And they didn't give you
any money? Or credit?

Well, I believe the
contractual term is "bupkis."

Well, sounds like Scotty
Bristol must have pissed off

a lot of writers. Maybe one
of them wanted revenge.

Not likely.

And why not?

Well, I mean, most comedy writers

would take Scotty Bristol
stealing one of their jokes

as encouragement to keep going.

We're a sad bunch.

Well, what about the
writers on the show?

How do they feel about
Scotty stealing jokes

and feeding theirs to a giant shredder?

Exactly.

We need to talk to them.

And if you look to your
right, you'll see the office

where our host, Scotty
Bristol, was found dead.

That must have been hard for you.

You know, it was.

I know he had a mixed reputation,

but Scotty was always so nice to me.

He told me all about his
early days doing improv.

It's amazing what people will tell a page.

He'd reminisce whenever I
went in to empty Mickey two.

Mickey two?

That's everybody's
nickname for the shredder.

It's kinda mean.

Did you always empty Mickey two?

That's what Scotty wanted.

I'm the only non-janitor with a key

to Scotty's and Laurel's offices.

The two of them were
touchy about their shredders.

Maybe because Scotty
liked to steal material.

- This business.
- Well, what can you

tell us about Scotty and the shredder?

Mickey two? He liked to fire
it up to remind us who's boss.

That's a funny nickname
for a shredder, though.

Well, we named it Mickey two,
like Audrey two in little shop,

because just like the real Mickey,

Scotty made it eat crap all day.

Did Laurel know the nickname?

Yes, but she would never laugh,
because she's management.

Or maybe because you were
all making fun of her husband.

Well, that's the sentimental version.

We found a writer's
packet in Scotty's shredder.

Duh. Of course you did.

Well, him using that stuff

must have really burned you guys up?

He should have
trusted the professionals.

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Did it make you want to get even?

Wait.

We thought this was an accident.

Is this a murder investigation?

It had to be Ronan. It's so obvious.

He wanted Scotty's job.

- Come on, he's the guy.
- Steph! Steph slept with Scotty

at the last season wrap party
and ever since then that's true.

She became totally obsess...

- Obsessive.
- Shut up. That is just stupid.

Suspect.

But I actually bet it
was you that killed him.

- Wouldn't sleep with you, and I mostly...
- You guys...

Guys, stop!

This is not a bit.

You mind telling us
where you were last night?

Yes. I did two sets

at Mr. Titters... club in the village.

Right, yes, we were all there.

Both sets, cheering him on.

Really? All of you?

Both sets? Why?

Well, we were sucking
up to Ronan in case

he gets Scotty's job. Which, now,

he will, because I missed my moment.

So, congratulations.

- Very happy for you.
- Yeah.

They have video cameras at Mr. Titters.

You can see the audience.

I'm sure we got filmed during
our good-natured heckling.

Well, we'll double-check,

'cause it does seem awfully convenient.

I mean, you guys all
clearly had a problem

working for Scotty
Bristol, so maybe you all

worked together to
murder him and cover it up.

Detective, you got to understand.

We're writers.

We would never do
anything to rock the boat.

It's true. This is a
hostile work environment,

but we are all so grateful to have a job.

This business.

Which one is that?

Benazepril.

It's the, ace inhibitor.

They don't work if
you forget to take them.

Well, that's what I've got you for.

Mickey...

Why did you go back to
Scotty's office last night?

I told you to go home.

I was gonna give him an ultimatum.

Either I get the time off
so I can take care of myself

or I quit.

I mean, it wasn't fair to
me or to you anymore.

I'd had it.

Then I never got the chance.

Mickey.

I wish I'd known that.

What is he doing?

Looks like he's psyching
himself up for something.

Yeah.

To murder someone.

I almost quit all the time,

I just never went through with it.

Yeah, but this time you didn't just quit.

You murdered Scotty for making you

a laughingstock in front of millions.

You know nothing about comedy.

Geez. I get no respect.

What about you?

Did you want Mickey to quit?

I wanted what was best
for Mickey. That's all.

This interview is over.

Mickey, go home and call
Edward. That's our lawyer.

Clearly, the police want to
waste their time focusing on.

Scotty's best friend in the world.

This is unbelievable.

We'll be in touch.

In the meantime, we'll have another chat

with building security.

I'll catch up with you later.

Hey, Laurel. Laurel.

I just want you to know

I think the police have this wrong.

I don't think Mickey could have done this.

- You're smart.
- The thing is, I would love it

if you would help me figure this out

to clear your husband's name.

Would you be willing to do that?

How can I say no?

Great.

'Scuse me, Laurel.

Wow, boy.

- You have a tough job.
- How do you mean?

Well, the writers think
of you as management.

Well, they blame everything on me.

That's how Scotty liked it.

And Scotty... doesn't sound
like he was an easy boss.

And then to watch what the
show was doing to your husband

every night? Laurel, you juggle a lot.

Well, you juggle a lot, too, or
you wouldn't carry so many bags.

True.

Although I don't have to
think about my husband. Ex.

Although he did just
narrowly escape disbarment.

Not sure how I feel about that.

I'm sorry, but I have an awful lot to do.

Of course. What are you working on?

We're preparing a
tribute show for Scotty.

And who knew him better than you did?

By the way,

did Scotty also call
the shredder Mickey two

or was that just the writers?

You knew all about that.

Right?

And yet you acted like you didn't

when I asked you about the... grr!

Googly eyes at the crime scene.

You taking about the
night of the accident?

You asked me and I
said, "I couldn't tell you."

I couldn't tell you because
Mickey was right there

and I didn't want to hurt his feelings

or make him look guilty, god forbid.

So, I couldn't tell you.

Wow, you're awfully quick on your feet.

Must be my improv training.

Right.

Carl, cue it up to the beginning.

You got it.

So cool.

Wow.

Hey.

Is that you?

That's, that's Scotty and
Mickey and you, isn't it?

Yeah, we were in a
group called the overalls.

That explains the outfits.

That is so fun.

You guys were a big hit, weren't you?

We didn't know what we were.

We were just having fun
and making each other laugh.

Three kids in Seattle

just loving each other
and what we were doing.

That, of course, was before the jealousy

and the deals and show business.

Before you knew that,
Scotty would be the star?

We always knew that.

Boy.

I would love to learn how to do that.

What, improv?

No, it's not much of a thing anymore.

But it's such an important skill.

And it would be so useful in my work.

I could probably use it
to find Scotty's real killer.

T.

U.

V.

W!

X.

Y?!

Z.

Okay. All ri... You see how
we're more connected now?

Yes, I do.

I feel like I can almost read your mind.

Okay, let's try a more advanced game.

- All right, let's do -questions only.
- Okay.

Now, everything you say must
be in the form of a question.

Ooh! Like jeopardy!

Yeah. Yeah, like jeopardy!

Okay, and remember the
first rule of improv: "Yes, and."

You never deny what
the other person says

because it kills the scene.

You go along with it and
you add new information

so the scene builds.

- All right.
- Okay, yeah.

So, let's start with a place for the scene.

Ooh!

A renaissance fair.

Well, what made you come up with that?

Did you know that was a
bit we did in the overalls?

Yes, and... I've done a
bunch of research on you.

Was that good?

Yeah, well, we haven't really started yet.

Okay? So let's start now.

- Okay. Okay. Sorry, sorry.
- All right.

So, here we go.

Is this your first time
at the renaissance fair?

Does it look like my first time, Lassie?

Lassie? Okay, well,
yes, that was a question,

but it didn't add new information.

So, what it did was it threw the question

back on me, so now
I'm doing all the work.

Yeah.

I see. Gosh, yeah, I... I
tend to do that with people.

Okay, l-let... Let me
try-let me try it again.

Okay.

Yes.

Do you like my breeches?

Okay, good.

Yes, I love them, -and
would you like to dance?

Ooh!

Absolutely, I wouldst.

- We're dancing.
- And... But...

Will your husband mind?

Okay.

"But" is okay if it keeps
adding information,

which you did. And yes, he will.

- Will you tell him?
- Yes,

but wouldst thou
secretly murder me first?

Did I do it wrong?

No, it's just a little confusing,

with all the "wouldst's."

I really have to get back to the edit.

- Shoot. Are you sure?
- Yes.

And?

Yes, and that was a very good start.

You're very quick on your feet, too.

But you need more practice.

Didn't we already see this?

He's wearing different clothes.

I wanted to test Mickey's
story, so I did some research.

There's a fan online who's compiled

all the most humiliating

Mickey muntz moments on the show.

There were so many.
The lint suit, the snake tank.

And then I got the security footage

from after those tapings.

Sure enough, half the time,

Mickey was in the
elevator, working himself up

to almost quit, just like he said.

- Which shows...
- He did it! -He didn't do it.

Come on. He did it!

- He didn't do it.
- He absolutely did it.

- He di-he didn't do it.
- Come on, come on, Elsbeth,

gimme a break.

- One at a time.
- Okay, captain,

the security footage clearly shows

a years-long process of Mickey

building up the courage to murder Scotty.

Yes, and... It shows a weak man

who would never hurt
the boss he worshipped.

- Why "yes, and"?
- What?

You just completely contradicted me

but you started with "yes, and."

It's better for the scene.

We're in a scene?

Seeing Mickey go through all that

was painful to watch,

but it must have been even
more painful for his wife, Laurel,

especially given Mickey's bad heart.

But everything you say

also points to Mickey,
and he found the body.

Yes, and it points just as much to Laurel.

And why are you
carrying a waste basket?

To make a point. Hey! Connor.

- You see this?
- Garbage?

Yeah, the same garbage
that's been here for three days.

Yes, it has been necessary
to scale back trash collection.

No, no, do-Don... don't hide
behind the passive voice.

I should be able to eat a
banana and not worry about

the peel sticking around
long enough to grow fuzz.

Are you gonna do something about this?

Nope.

What did Edward have to say?

He told me he's gonna put
me in touch with a lawyer

- who handles this sort of thing.
- When?

I-I don't know. Tomorrow, maybe.

Maybe? The police
are not fooling around.

Why didn't you tell them
that you wanted me to quit?

What... what-what are you saying?

The police asked you and you lied.

I didn't lie.

I told them I wanted
what was best for you,

and that's true, that's always been true.

Laurel, were you in
the edit that whole time?

Don't do this, Mickey.

You're just torturing yourself and me.

You lied. You did want me to quit.

I wanted you to get time off.

And now you have it. And you can use it

to get better and to do great things.

But without Scotty?

I... Laurel, I... Mi-Mickey? Mickey!

So, he couldn't bear the
guilt of killing Scotty Bristol

and his heart gave out? Is that about it?

Yes, and... That's
exactly what he told me

just before he died.

Think before you write.

Crossing something
out is a waste of ink.

Captain Wagner.

Are you fully aware of
what's going on out there?

To what are you referring?

These budget cuts... they're
so arbitrary and absurd,

and everyone's taking
it out on lt. Connor.

Yes. And?

Well, I have seen, recently,

what can happen when a
person's put in that position.

It's not fair and it leads to bad things.

Part of being a good boss

is effectively delegating responsibility.

Connor can handle it.

What about his feelings?

- Connor has feelings?
- Captain.

You know what else is
part of being a good boss?

Taking the blame when necessary.

You... come.

The report's in. Mickey muntz

died of a catastrophic coronary.

No sign of foul play.

Okay. Case closed.

We have some of his
personal effects to return

to the widow. His watch, wedding ring.

I can take them to her. If that helps.

Yeah. Thank you.

You aren't done, are you?

Cameron.

Have you heard
anything from our friend?

I'm not supposed to say anything. D...

I can't believe that Kaya
wouldn't want me to know

she's okay. I said her name.

Are-are we not supposed
to be saying her name?

We both know her name.

- So, when...
- No, I... So, I have spoken to her,

and she completed
training and has begun

her first undercover assignment.

And she sounds pretty
damn happy about it.

That's good.

Yes.

Tell her that there's a plushie.

Loch Ness monster with her name on it.

- Okay. I'll let her know.
- Okay.

And that concludes

our tribute to the great Scotty Bristol.

In the meantime...

I just don't think I should do the tie bit.

It was Scotty's thing.

Are you gonna fight me on everything?

Hi, Laurel.

Take a break. We'll argue about this later.

Looking forward.

Your deal hasn't closed yet.

Surprised to see you here.

We're reworking the tribute show,

cutting out any trace of Mickey.

Right, because Mickey killed him.

You know you didn't
have to tell the police

that Mickey confessed.
There's still spousal privilege.

You could have kept his secret.

I know. But I couldn't
bear to see someone else

take the blame for Scotty's murder.

Of course.

That makes total sense.

Thanks for bringing these.

You know, there's something
else I was wondering about.

- What's that?
- Well, detective smullen

thinks Mickey's heart gave out

because he couldn't bear
the secret guilt anymore.

But if he confessed to you,

then that burden was removed,

so why did he have a heart attack?

I mean, exactly when
did Mickey confess...

was it before the attack or during?

Because it certainly
couldn't have been after.

Mickey knew Scotty was in love with me.

He thought we were
having an affair and I couldn't

convince him that we
weren't. That's why.

I see.

Wow.

You just added new
information in just the right spot.

So... Did anything ever happen

between you and
Scotty, say, in his office?

No.

No?

Not "yes, and"?

No.

Can I have your attention, please?

I know things are tough.

And we've had to make
some painful adjustments.

But in case you haven't
noticed, that is happening all over.

And the work that we do
is too important to focus on

petty inconveniences.

We will get through this
difficult time together.

But in the meantime, if
you have a complaint...

you come to me.

Hey, this isn't my trash.

Very funny, detective smullen.

That's it.

I know you did it for him.

I'm sorry?

I'm sure you are.

About part of it, anyway. I mean,

you didn't know that things
would turn out this way.

You and Mickey and Scotty...
you had a special bond,

just like the characters
in merrily we roll along,

Scotty's favorite musical,

under appreciated
until the recent revival.

Is there a point to this?

Yes.

Because that bond also gave
you power over each other.

And Scotty used that
power to control your lives,

like when he told you not to have kids,

or when he wouldn't give Mickey

the break his doctors ordered.

Well... How do you know all that?

It's amazing what people will tell a page.

And Scotty told me a lot.

Your plan was to make it look like

an unfortunate shredding accident.

I mean, after all,

Scotty loved to torture
the writers with the...

noise.

But there was no one there to hear it.

And... We pieced the
shredded pages back together.

It was a packet that had

no jokes used on the show that night.

So why was Scotty shredding?

Well, I don't know. I wasn't there.

See, now, that's not good improv.

A better move

was when you tried to
pin the murder on Mickey

after he died. Except the killer had to...

Tighten Scotty's tie

and then lure him over to the shredder

without any sign of a struggle.

Mickey couldn't have
done that. But you could,

using your 30 years of
history and a little alcohol...

to manipulate Scotty into position.

This is ludicrous.

Yeah, maybe. But it
was a pretty good plan.

Until after the murder, when you saw

that the shredder bin was
empty, thanks to Matthew the page.

I never forgot to empty Mickey two.

It couldn't look like an
accident if there wasn't

shredded paper in the bin.

And you couldn't use Mickey
two 'cause Scotty's body...

was in the way.

So you ran back to your office,

you shredded the latest packet...

and you brought that
and put it in Scotty's bin.

Detective smullen tried
a similar trick on me,

which made me think of it.

For which I have apologized.

Well, you can't prove any of this.

Actually, we can.

Because it turns out... No
two shredders are the same.

The width between the
blades on Mickey two

was a quarter of an inch further apart

than the blades on the
shredder in your office.

And only you and Matthew the page

had keys to have access
both of the shredders.

But Matthew was with the writers,

watching Ronan gaines
doing standup at Mr. Titters.

I was sucking up.

It had to be you, Laurel.

You and Mickey and
Scotty... you were old friends.

Now two of you are dead.

I didn't kill Mickey.

Not directly, no.

We had a good thing going.

Ma'am. This way, please.

You really do know everything

that goes on around here, don't you?

You could say that and be correct.

Could you do me a favor?

Get your way late with
Scotty bristoloffice supplies.

They don't want 'em
anymore. Too depressing.

Thank you, Elsbeth.

But I'm still gonna
use my bagpipe stapler.

Thank you for bringing all that.

It should help calm things
down here for a while.

Of course.

But, you know, the box wasn't that big.

The trouble isn't just over.

I know.

Well, maybe you should rethink things.

No.

That's not possible.

- But, I...
- Elsbeth, it was either those cuts

or get rid of you.

And that is not something
I would entertain.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Thanks for a fun time.

You actually inspired me.

- Really?
- In fact,

I submitted another packet to way late

and Ronan gaines bought
one of my jokes for $200.

He did?

- Yeah.
- That's so good. Wow.

See? The top job

doesn't automatically
make someone a monster.

This business.

Okay. So, now let's
introduce my new sidekick...

the only idiot willing to
take this humiliating job...

Matthew the way late page!

Thank you, sir. So
glad to be here, Ronan.

- We like to promote from within.
- We don't like to pay you more,

and we haven't, but glad you're aboard.

Can I get you anything?

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