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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:17,001 --> 00:01:19,000 Hey, I don't care if you're the expert. 2 00:01:19,001 --> 00:01:21,000 This is my best friend's bachelor party. 3 00:01:21,001 --> 00:01:24,000 I'm not showing anything called the valet vixens parking in rear. 4 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,000 No, forget it. 5 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,000 Excuse me, Heph. 6 00:01:27,001 --> 00:01:30,000 I hate to put a crimp in your silk PJs, but your ex-wife's here. 7 00:01:30,001 --> 00:01:32,000 Uh, look, I gotta go. 8 00:01:32,001 --> 00:01:33,000 I'll pick up the other tapes on my way home, okay? 9 00:01:33,001 --> 00:01:35,000 Yeah, yeah. 10 00:01:35,001 --> 00:01:37,000 Listen, I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this party to Judith. 11 00:01:37,001 --> 00:01:41,000 I won't say a word, but you might want to put your little friends away. 12 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:45,000 Hi. 13 00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:46,000 Hi. 14 00:01:46,001 --> 00:01:47,000 I brought you this for us for Jeremy. 15 00:01:47,001 --> 00:01:48,000 You just have to sign it. 16 00:01:48,001 --> 00:01:50,000 Oh, great, great, thanks. 17 00:01:50,001 --> 00:01:52,000 He's just arrived. 18 00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:54,000 Yep, nothing like a good cigar. 19 00:01:54,001 --> 00:01:56,000 Toby, could you get us some coffee? 20 00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:57,000 Why? 21 00:01:57,001 --> 00:01:59,000 What do you mean, why? 22 00:01:59,001 --> 00:02:00,000 To drink. 23 00:02:00,001 --> 00:02:03,000 Oh, I thought it was to get me out of the room. 24 00:02:03,001 --> 00:02:07,000 These wouldn't by any chance be for a bachelor party. 25 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,000 No, no. 26 00:02:08,001 --> 00:02:12,000 Just a couple of guys are coming over tonight to smoke. 27 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:14,000 I see. 28 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,000 Okay, here you go. 29 00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:17,000 Thanks for stopping by. 30 00:02:17,001 --> 00:02:19,000 Here, I know how busy you are. 31 00:02:19,001 --> 00:02:21,000 Here's that coffee you didn't really want. 32 00:02:21,001 --> 00:02:24,000 And look what I found in a box by my desk. 33 00:02:24,001 --> 00:02:26,000 Cute, don't you think? 34 00:02:26,001 --> 00:02:28,000 Thank you, Toby. 35 00:02:28,001 --> 00:02:31,000 All right, all right. 36 00:02:31,001 --> 00:02:34,000 Look, I'm throwing Eddie a bachelor party, okay? 37 00:02:34,001 --> 00:02:35,000 Why? 38 00:02:35,001 --> 00:02:36,000 The man is getting married tomorrow. 39 00:02:36,001 --> 00:02:39,000 Why do you feel compelled to humiliate and degrade him? 40 00:02:39,001 --> 00:02:41,000 Are you questioning the wisdom of the party? 41 00:02:41,001 --> 00:02:43,000 Because I'm his best friend. 42 00:02:43,001 --> 00:02:45,000 Besides, he did it to me. 43 00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:47,000 Yeah, and you remember what that was like? 44 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:54,000 Okay, okay, look, it got a little out of hand. 45 00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:56,000 But I'm throwing the party this time, not Eddie, okay? 46 00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:58,000 So it's going to be very tasteful. 47 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,000 Your penis is showing. 48 00:03:01,001 --> 00:03:06,000 Jude, come on. 49 00:03:06,001 --> 00:03:08,000 It's a male bonding thing, you know? 50 00:03:08,001 --> 00:03:10,000 It's a very important rite of passage, really. 51 00:03:10,001 --> 00:03:13,000 It's kind of... Common crude, vulgar? 52 00:03:13,001 --> 00:03:14,000 Sacred, really. 53 00:03:14,001 --> 00:03:17,000 A Miss Joy a Plenty called. 54 00:03:17,001 --> 00:03:19,037 She says she'll peel down to her G-string, 55 00:03:19,049 --> 00:03:21,000 but there'll be no pictures, no groping, 56 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:24,000 and absolutely no blow jobs. 57 00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:28,000 See? 58 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:37,000 Oh, man, I'm so glad we had a rehearsal. 59 00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:38,000 Don't worry, don't worry. 60 00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:40,000 Tomorrow we'll get the flower girl to move faster. 61 00:03:40,001 --> 00:03:42,000 Look, man, I didn't mean to step on her. 62 00:03:42,001 --> 00:03:45,000 Everybody knows that. Take it easy, will ya? 63 00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:47,000 See ya tomorrow, baby. We love you. 64 00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:49,000 I love you too. 65 00:03:49,001 --> 00:03:50,000 Bye-bye. 66 00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:53,000 You have no idea who that is. 67 00:03:53,001 --> 00:03:55,000 No, I don't. Hold on. 68 00:03:58,001 --> 00:04:00,681 Uh, listen, um, you've been a great 69 00:04:00,693 --> 00:04:04,000 best man, and now that I'm getting married, 70 00:04:04,001 --> 00:04:06,000 I just want you to have this. 71 00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:12,000 Eddie, this wasn't necessary, really. 72 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:15,000 Thank you. Thank you so much. 73 00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:20,000 So much. 74 00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:22,000 He's got to give you protection, hmm? 75 00:04:22,001 --> 00:04:24,000 Yeah, I was cleaning out my closet. 76 00:04:24,001 --> 00:04:26,000 I guess I won't be needing them anymore. 77 00:04:26,001 --> 00:04:27,000 Grape. 78 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:29,000 Is it too late to elope? 79 00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:30,000 Sorry, honey. 80 00:04:30,001 --> 00:04:32,000 We need at least six more cappuccino makers. 81 00:04:32,001 --> 00:04:34,000 You have everything you need? Do you have your tux? 82 00:04:34,001 --> 00:04:37,000 Yes, I have my tux. It's all over at Martin's. 83 00:04:37,001 --> 00:04:39,000 Jeanette, relax, will ya? 84 00:04:39,001 --> 00:04:41,000 Everything's taken care of. 85 00:04:41,001 --> 00:04:45,000 Come on, we're just gonna hang out, shoot the shit, and watch some TV. 86 00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:47,000 He is very clever with the propaganda. 87 00:04:47,001 --> 00:04:51,000 All right, now you just make sure you get him to the wedding in one piece. 88 00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:53,000 He's safe with me. 89 00:04:58,001 --> 00:04:59,541 So I told him, you play one measure just the 90 00:04:59,553 --> 00:05:01,000 way you are, and you're not getting paid. 91 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,000 Yeah, well, you know what? 92 00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:04,000 That's the least of your problems. 93 00:05:04,001 --> 00:05:07,000 Surprise! 94 00:05:07,001 --> 00:05:10,000 For he's a jolly good fellow! 95 00:05:10,001 --> 00:05:11,000 You asshole! 96 00:05:11,001 --> 00:05:12,000 Eddie, come on. 97 00:05:12,001 --> 00:05:13,000 No, you promise. 98 00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:14,000 I lied. 99 00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:15,000 I told you, I didn't want a bachelor party. 100 00:05:15,001 --> 00:05:17,000 My whole life has been one big bachelor party. 101 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:19,000 I don't want this. I'm getting married now. 102 00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:21,000 Eddie, come on. It's all the guys from the old neighborhood. 103 00:05:21,001 --> 00:05:23,000 You haven't seen these guys in like 20 years. 104 00:05:23,001 --> 00:05:25,000 Hey, what's up? 105 00:05:25,001 --> 00:05:27,000 What's up? 106 00:05:27,001 --> 00:05:28,000 Maybe there's a reason. 107 00:05:28,001 --> 00:05:29,000 See? 108 00:05:29,001 --> 00:05:30,000 Isn't this great? 109 00:05:30,001 --> 00:05:31,000 Hey, Barry! 110 00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:32,000 Hey, guy. 111 00:05:32,001 --> 00:05:33,000 Congratulations. 112 00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:35,000 Barry, put me down. 113 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,000 Oh. 114 00:05:36,001 --> 00:05:39,000 Hey, hey, look who else is here. 115 00:05:39,001 --> 00:05:40,000 Hey, Chuck, how you been? 116 00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:41,000 Shitty. 117 00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:43,000 It's the same old Chuck. 118 00:05:43,001 --> 00:05:44,000 Congratulations, Eddie. 119 00:05:44,001 --> 00:05:45,000 Thanks. 120 00:05:45,001 --> 00:05:46,000 Jerry. 121 00:05:46,001 --> 00:05:49,000 You invited Jerry Dorfer? 122 00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:50,000 Oh, no. 123 00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,000 Hope you don't mind. 124 00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:53,000 Barry told me all the guys were getting together. 125 00:05:53,001 --> 00:05:54,000 How could I miss that? 126 00:05:54,001 --> 00:05:57,000 Why, you wannery old skunk, you're just trying to get some free beer. 127 00:05:57,001 --> 00:05:59,000 I'm a good mind of throwing you to the devil out of here. 128 00:05:59,001 --> 00:06:01,000 Hey, wouldn't be a party without you. 129 00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:02,000 Yeah. 130 00:06:02,001 --> 00:06:03,000 Hey, Eddie. 131 00:06:03,001 --> 00:06:04,000 Stinky! 132 00:06:04,001 --> 00:06:09,000 I knew somebody was going to call me that. 133 00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:18,000 So, uh, who's drinking what? 134 00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:22,000 Oh, here we go, Loosey-Loosey. 135 00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:25,000 Here we go, Loosey-Loosey. 136 00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:27,000 Here we go, Loosey-Loosey. 137 00:06:27,001 --> 00:06:30,000 On a Saturday night. 138 00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:33,000 Okay, vodka for the man. 139 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:34,000 Thanks, pal. 140 00:06:34,001 --> 00:06:35,000 Adam, Adam. 141 00:06:35,001 --> 00:06:36,000 We're Scott's Rocks, right? 142 00:06:36,001 --> 00:06:37,000 Hey, come on, come on, Barry. 143 00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:38,000 You're always a Tequila, man. 144 00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:39,000 Well, thanks. 145 00:06:39,001 --> 00:06:41,000 Alcohol's a neuro-toxic miniature. 146 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,000 But, hey, you guys enjoy it. 147 00:06:43,001 --> 00:06:44,000 And none for me, thanks. 148 00:06:44,001 --> 00:06:46,000 I'm training for the marathon. 149 00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:48,000 Chuck? 150 00:06:48,001 --> 00:06:51,000 Oh, I've got this kind of pre-ulcer thing. 151 00:06:51,001 --> 00:06:53,000 But you should have told us. 152 00:06:53,001 --> 00:06:55,000 We could have made reservations at a soda fountain. 153 00:06:55,001 --> 00:06:56,000 I can't believe this. 154 00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:59,000 What happened to the guys used to Chuck Boone's farm behind the gym? 155 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:00,000 Come on. 156 00:07:00,001 --> 00:07:01,000 Do you have any juice? 157 00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:02,000 Pellegrino. 158 00:07:02,001 --> 00:07:03,000 Pepper milk. 159 00:07:03,001 --> 00:07:05,000 Gee, I'm fresh out. 160 00:07:05,001 --> 00:07:06,000 Uh, Gary. 161 00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:08,000 Gary! 162 00:07:08,001 --> 00:07:10,000 Captain Chug-a-lug. 163 00:07:10,001 --> 00:07:12,000 Come on, come on, it's a bachelor's party. 164 00:07:12,001 --> 00:07:13,000 It's in here. 165 00:07:13,001 --> 00:07:14,000 Thanks. 166 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,000 Oh, what? 167 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,000 What? 168 00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:17,000 You two? 169 00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,000 Oh, oh, I'm sorry. 170 00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:19,000 What, does it give you an earache? 171 00:07:19,001 --> 00:07:20,000 Huh? 172 00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:21,000 Are you macrobiotic? 173 00:07:21,001 --> 00:07:22,000 Huh? 174 00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:25,000 Or are you just planning to swim the English Channel, man? 175 00:07:25,001 --> 00:07:28,000 Actually, I'm an alcoholic. 176 00:07:28,001 --> 00:07:30,000 Oh. 177 00:07:30,001 --> 00:07:32,000 I can say that now. 178 00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:35,000 I've had to admit that I'm powerless over alcohol. 179 00:07:35,001 --> 00:07:38,000 Six months sober. 180 00:07:38,001 --> 00:07:39,000 All right. 181 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,000 Way to go. 182 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,000 That's great, Gary. 183 00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:43,000 Yeah, that's wonderful, man. 184 00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:44,000 You're right, pal. 185 00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:45,000 Great party. 186 00:07:45,001 --> 00:07:46,000 Congratulations. 187 00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:51,000 Sir, in your position, there must be something you can do. 188 00:07:51,001 --> 00:07:52,000 Movies! 189 00:07:52,001 --> 00:07:53,000 Yeah! 190 00:07:53,001 --> 00:07:56,000 Oh, here we go, Loof-de-Loof. 191 00:07:56,001 --> 00:07:59,000 Here we go, Loof-de-Loof. 192 00:07:59,001 --> 00:08:02,000 Here we go, Loof-de-Loof. 193 00:08:02,001 --> 00:08:03,000 Oh. 194 00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:05,000 Here we go. 195 00:08:05,001 --> 00:08:06,000 Oh. 196 00:08:06,001 --> 00:08:07,000 Oh. 197 00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:09,000 Take it. 198 00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:12,000 Oh. 199 00:08:12,001 --> 00:08:14,000 Yeah, well, I got out of the market just before the crash. 200 00:08:14,001 --> 00:08:16,000 Thank God. 201 00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:17,000 Well, you really ought to look into T-bills. 202 00:08:17,001 --> 00:08:19,000 Everything else is fucked. 203 00:08:19,001 --> 00:08:24,000 Marjorie's handling most of our finances now, which is great. 204 00:08:24,001 --> 00:08:26,000 Because it gives me more time with the kids. 205 00:08:26,001 --> 00:08:28,000 Guys, guys, come on. 206 00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:29,000 Are you watching the movie? 207 00:08:29,001 --> 00:08:31,000 You ever seen two women do that? 208 00:08:31,001 --> 00:08:32,000 What are they doing now? 209 00:08:32,001 --> 00:08:34,579 Well, they caught them with the Swiss girl, 210 00:08:34,591 --> 00:08:37,000 and now they're sort of making them pay. 211 00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:39,000 Martin, does this thing get any better? 212 00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:40,000 Ask to. 213 00:08:40,001 --> 00:08:44,000 Oh, shit. 214 00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:46,000 No, wait, wait, wait, wait. 215 00:08:46,001 --> 00:08:47,000 I can fix it. I can fix it, okay? 216 00:08:47,001 --> 00:08:48,000 I mean, come on. 217 00:08:48,001 --> 00:08:50,000 It happens sometimes. 218 00:08:50,001 --> 00:08:51,000 Here we go. 219 00:08:51,001 --> 00:08:53,000 Oh, yeah, right, right, right. 220 00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:55,000 Look, guys, I think we better just call it a night. 221 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,000 Hey, wait, wait. 222 00:08:57,001 --> 00:09:02,000 Uh, you don't want to miss-- Beautiful girls from 16 European countries 223 00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:04,000 will parade and be judged. 224 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,000 The rest of the party. 225 00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:07,000 Yeah, well, anyway. 226 00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:08,000 Daddy, please, please. 227 00:09:08,001 --> 00:09:10,000 I thought I should say that to you, 228 00:09:10,001 --> 00:09:14,598 a few important words about, you know, our 229 00:09:14,610 --> 00:09:19,000 friendship and marriage and-- 230 00:09:19,001 --> 00:09:21,000 And that's it? 231 00:09:21,001 --> 00:09:23,000 Oh, no. 232 00:09:25,001 --> 00:09:27,000 Ta-da! 233 00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:35,000 That was great, great. 234 00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:41,000 Who is it? 235 00:09:41,001 --> 00:09:43,000 Open up. It's the police. 236 00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:51,000 I have a warrant for the arrest of Mr. Eddie Charles. 237 00:09:52,001 --> 00:09:54,000 Oh, no, officer. What's the charge? 238 00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:57,000 In decent exposure! 239 00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:08,000 I'm taking you. 240 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:16,000 Mr. Charles, I'll remind you, you have the right to remain silent. 241 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:17,000 Call for my lawyer. 242 00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:22,000 This calls for some plain laws. 243 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:36,000 Gosh. 244 00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:38,000 Wouldn't it be nice to be that flexible? 245 00:10:38,001 --> 00:10:39,000 I'm taking you. 246 00:10:39,001 --> 00:10:41,000 Counselor, how about your client? 247 00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:43,000 Whatever it is, officer. 248 00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:44,000 He's guilty! 249 00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:54,000 You know, I think we're ready to bust this case wide open. 250 00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:13,000 No problem, guys. Just a little cold. 251 00:11:18,001 --> 00:11:21,000 I'm sorry. I'll be alright in a minute. 252 00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:27,000 Fuck, this stuff's supposed to last 12 hours. 253 00:11:27,001 --> 00:11:30,000 Barton, you got any out of hiss to beat? 254 00:11:34,001 --> 00:11:36,000 I'll go check. 255 00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,000 Yeah, well, I'm ready for a drink. 256 00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:42,000 Yeah. Yeah, I am. 257 00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:44,000 Anybody else? 258 00:11:48,001 --> 00:11:50,000 I think I'm feeling a little better. 259 00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:53,000 It's just the aching around my eyes. 260 00:11:55,001 --> 00:11:59,000 I never heard anybody go on so long about a simple head cold. 261 00:11:59,001 --> 00:12:00,000 Drink the tea. 262 00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:01,000 Okay. 263 00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:04,000 Barry, Adam, come on in. 264 00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:05,000 That was the fart. 265 00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:09,000 Hey, hey, hey, go easy there, Jerry. 266 00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:10,000 In eighth grade? 267 00:12:10,001 --> 00:12:13,000 I got to second base with Cheryl Castorini. 268 00:12:13,001 --> 00:12:16,000 Cheryl Castorini didn't even have a second base. 269 00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:19,000 Hey, Eddie, who was your first? 270 00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:21,000 Go ahead, go ahead, tell him, tell him. 271 00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,000 Okay, okay. 272 00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:24,000 It was ninth grade. 273 00:12:24,001 --> 00:12:25,000 Don Richardson. 274 00:12:25,001 --> 00:12:26,000 Lisa Farley. 275 00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:27,000 No, no, no. 276 00:12:27,001 --> 00:12:28,000 Laurie Klepperman. 277 00:12:28,001 --> 00:12:30,000 Karen Kenlow. 278 00:12:30,001 --> 00:12:32,000 Mrs. Kenlow, the math teacher? 279 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:35,000 Hey, well, I needed a little help with my square roots, you know. 280 00:12:38,001 --> 00:12:41,000 My ninth grade disguised life was better than mine'll ever be. 281 00:12:42,001 --> 00:12:44,000 We all know who Jerry's first was. 282 00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:46,000 Marjorie! 283 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,000 Well, not exactly. 284 00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:52,000 Ooh. 285 00:12:52,001 --> 00:12:54,000 Really? 286 00:12:54,001 --> 00:12:59,000 Actually, my first first was... 287 00:12:59,001 --> 00:13:01,000 Look at him, look at him. 288 00:13:01,001 --> 00:13:03,000 Come on, you got that fart. 289 00:13:03,001 --> 00:13:05,000 It's with Martin. 290 00:13:11,001 --> 00:13:13,000 That's not true. 291 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,000 That's not true, he's drunk. 292 00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:15,000 Look at him, look at him. 293 00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:17,000 He can't even stand up. 294 00:13:17,001 --> 00:13:19,040 You know, they say that one out of every 295 00:13:19,052 --> 00:13:21,000 three adolescent boys' experiments ... 296 00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,000 It was nothing. 297 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,000 I mean, a little touching. 298 00:13:24,001 --> 00:13:25,000 You know, it was nothing. 299 00:13:25,001 --> 00:13:26,000 It wasn't nothing. 300 00:13:26,001 --> 00:13:30,000 I mean, it wasn't a gay thing, but it was a nice thing. 301 00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:31,000 It wasn't anything. 302 00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:33,000 I mean, it doesn't count. 303 00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:35,000 I mean, we were at camp. 304 00:13:35,001 --> 00:13:36,000 It was color war. 305 00:13:36,001 --> 00:13:38,000 We were swept up in the moment. 306 00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:40,000 Shut up, Jerry. 307 00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:42,000 You think dynamite would stop him? 308 00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:43,000 I mean, come on. 309 00:13:43,001 --> 00:13:44,000 Come on, we've all done things at camp. 310 00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:46,000 We wouldn't do normally, right? 311 00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:48,000 When was the last time you sang "Kumbaya"? 312 00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:53,000 Oh, Martin, I don't think that's quite the same thing. 313 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,000 Excuse me. 314 00:13:57,001 --> 00:14:01,000 ♪ Kumbaya ♪ 315 00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:06,000 ♪ Kumbaya ♪ 316 00:14:06,001 --> 00:14:11,000 May I take this opportunity of saying I wish I were dead? 317 00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:13,000 Don't--don't--don't even say anything. 318 00:14:13,001 --> 00:14:15,000 What? What? Look. 319 00:14:15,001 --> 00:14:20,000 I was just gonna say that, uh, you know, I understand. 320 00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:28,000 One time after Little League, me and Don Willingham... You're kidding me. 321 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:31,000 Oh, come on, man. It was sixth grade. 322 00:14:31,001 --> 00:14:34,000 Don Willingham? 323 00:14:34,001 --> 00:14:36,000 I was your best friend. 324 00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:40,000 Martin, we're getting into a very weird area here. 325 00:14:48,001 --> 00:14:50,000 Yeah, man. 326 00:14:52,001 --> 00:14:54,000 You got him. 327 00:14:56,001 --> 00:14:58,000 Ooh. 328 00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:02,000 Did everybody get some? 329 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:04,000 She's so-- 330 00:15:04,001 --> 00:15:06,000 Martin, Martin, Martin. 331 00:15:06,001 --> 00:15:08,000 Okay. 332 00:15:08,001 --> 00:15:11,000 Eddie, I'd like to propose a toast. 333 00:15:11,001 --> 00:15:12,913 You know, after tomorrow there's gonna 334 00:15:12,925 --> 00:15:15,000 be a lot of disappointed women out there. 335 00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,000 You know, a lot of relieved men. 336 00:15:17,001 --> 00:15:21,000 And I'd like to make a little presentation 337 00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:22,862 to a guy who's been a constant source 338 00:15:22,874 --> 00:15:25,000 of inspiration and astonishment to us all. 339 00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:29,000 I mean, the sheer volume and quality. 340 00:15:29,001 --> 00:15:31,000 Thank you. 341 00:15:31,001 --> 00:15:38,000 To a legend, our champion, Eddie Charles, the biggest dick I know. 342 00:15:41,001 --> 00:15:42,000 I moved. 343 00:15:42,001 --> 00:15:45,000 You guys are definitely a class act. 344 00:15:45,001 --> 00:15:46,000 Oh, thank you. 345 00:15:46,001 --> 00:15:49,000 Eddie, Eddie, how does it feel to be hanging out the old clean phone? 346 00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:50,000 I cleaned it out the old locker. 347 00:15:50,001 --> 00:15:52,000 You know, it feels great. I'm ready. 348 00:15:52,001 --> 00:15:55,000 Really? Ready for sex with the same woman for the rest of your life? 349 00:15:55,001 --> 00:15:57,000 Sex if you're lucky. 350 00:15:57,001 --> 00:15:59,000 For me, it's just the same woman. 351 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,000 It's not gonna be like that. 352 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,000 Of course not. Of course not. 353 00:16:03,001 --> 00:16:05,000 She's terrific. 354 00:16:05,001 --> 00:16:07,000 That's true. She's incredible. 355 00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:08,000 Sure, now. 356 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,000 Chuck. 357 00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:11,000 Listen, I'm sorry. 358 00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,000 Eddie, man, I wish you the best. I really do. 359 00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:15,000 And maybe I'm a little bitter. 360 00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:18,000 But for me, marriage was a fucking nightmare. 361 00:16:18,001 --> 00:16:22,000 Thanks for the input, Chuck. 362 00:16:22,001 --> 00:16:24,000 Hey, I love my wife. 363 00:16:24,001 --> 00:16:26,000 You do that? You see that? 364 00:16:26,001 --> 00:16:29,000 But the other night, they brought this guy into the ER, right? 365 00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:33,000 He had tried to cut off his Johnson and give it to his wife for an 366 00:16:33,001 --> 00:16:34,000 anniversary present. 367 00:16:34,001 --> 00:16:36,000 Said he didn't need it anymore. 368 00:16:36,001 --> 00:16:38,000 Forty-three years old. 369 00:16:38,001 --> 00:16:40,000 That's just one example. 370 00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:41,000 Now, come on. 371 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:45,000 I have been longer married than any of you guys. 372 00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:48,000 And there's just something about the feeling I get. 373 00:16:48,001 --> 00:16:55,000 When I come home from work and there's Marjorie unloading the dishwasher 374 00:16:55,001 --> 00:17:07,000 and I look at her and I think... Who are you? Why are you here? 375 00:17:07,001 --> 00:17:09,000 Oh, my God. 376 00:17:09,001 --> 00:17:12,000 It's okay. It's okay. 377 00:17:12,001 --> 00:17:14,000 Oh, Jesus. 378 00:17:14,001 --> 00:17:16,000 I think we better call it a day. 379 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000 It's over. 380 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:29,000 My life is over. 381 00:17:29,001 --> 00:17:30,000 Isn't that the truth? 382 00:17:30,001 --> 00:17:31,000 That's bullshit. 383 00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:33,000 Hey, really, man? 384 00:17:33,001 --> 00:17:35,000 Hey, wish I was getting married. 385 00:17:35,001 --> 00:17:39,000 I loved being married both times. 386 00:17:39,001 --> 00:17:42,000 You got to talk to Marjorie. We're drifting apart. I see that now. 387 00:17:42,001 --> 00:17:44,000 Good luck, Jerry. 388 00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:47,000 I love my wife. I'm coming, Marjorie. 389 00:17:50,001 --> 00:18:07,000 Am I home? 390 00:18:07,001 --> 00:18:12,000 I'll take him home. 391 00:18:12,001 --> 00:18:15,000 I'll be back as soon as I can. 392 00:18:18,001 --> 00:18:38,000 One woman for the rest of my life. 393 00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:42,000 Yeah. 394 00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:46,000 I mean, I asked her to marry me because... 395 00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:51,000 because I wanted to be with her forever, you know, 396 00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:55,000 but I never really thought I'd be just her, you know, forever. 397 00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:59,000 Hey, Ed. Don't do this to yourself. 398 00:18:59,001 --> 00:19:01,000 You love her. 399 00:19:01,001 --> 00:19:05,000 I know, I know, I know, I know. She's great. She's great. 400 00:19:05,001 --> 00:19:07,000 But she's just one woman. 401 00:19:07,001 --> 00:19:11,000 She can't help it. I mean, that's just all the woman she can be. 402 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:16,000 Look, everybody goes through this. 403 00:19:16,001 --> 00:19:19,000 Marriage is scary. 404 00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:22,000 But it's going to be all right. 405 00:19:22,001 --> 00:19:24,000 Really. 406 00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:26,000 But what if it isn't? 407 00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:29,000 What if it isn't? 408 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,000 There, there. 409 00:19:31,001 --> 00:19:33,000 Oh, God. 410 00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:35,000 Shh. 411 00:19:35,001 --> 00:19:39,000 Listen, would you like a hand job? 412 00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:52,000 Martin, you'll call me? 413 00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:56,000 I've always felt a deep sympathy for disturbed people. 414 00:19:56,001 --> 00:19:58,000 I know how much help they must need. 415 00:19:58,001 --> 00:20:00,000 Probably not. 416 00:20:00,001 --> 00:20:04,000 Martin, Martin, you'll always be my special friend. 417 00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:08,000 That's right, Jerry. We'll always have camp. 418 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:35,000 What a guy. 419 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:38,000 Eddie. 420 00:20:38,001 --> 00:20:41,000 Come on, wake up, man. It's your wedding day. 421 00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:47,000 Sound the whistle. 422 00:20:47,001 --> 00:20:50,000 Fuck! What? You fucked the stripper. 423 00:20:50,001 --> 00:20:52,000 Oh, my God. I fucked the stripper. 424 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:56,000 Shh. I can't believe you did this. You are hopeless. 425 00:20:56,001 --> 00:20:58,000 Wait a minute, wait a minute. I didn't do this. 426 00:20:58,001 --> 00:21:01,000 What? You did this. You did this to me. 427 00:21:01,001 --> 00:21:02,000 Excuse me? 428 00:21:02,001 --> 00:21:03,489 I told you I didn't want a bachelor party. 429 00:21:03,501 --> 00:21:05,000 I told you I wanted a good night 's sleep. 430 00:21:05,001 --> 00:21:08,000 But no, you had to bring out the vodka and the cigars and throw women at me. 431 00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:12,000 Hey, but the only thing I did wrong is leave you alone with a woman over 14. 432 00:21:12,001 --> 00:21:15,000 This is not my fault. Oh, really? Really? Whose fault is it? 433 00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:17,000 Her fault? Jeanette's fault? Jerry Dorfer's. 434 00:21:17,001 --> 00:21:20,000 It's my dick's fault. 435 00:21:20,001 --> 00:21:23,000 My dick doesn't want me to get married. My dick did this to me. 436 00:21:23,001 --> 00:21:26,000 Oh, well, now we found the culprit. 437 00:21:26,001 --> 00:21:29,000 Oh, Martin, what am I gonna do? 438 00:21:29,001 --> 00:21:32,000 What are you gonna do? You're gonna get your sorry ass in that shower. 439 00:21:32,001 --> 00:21:34,000 You've got a wedding in less than three hours. 440 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,000 Wait a minute. 441 00:21:36,001 --> 00:21:42,000 This was a gift. Martin. 442 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:56,000 Man, I'm gonna have to tell Jeanette. 443 00:21:56,001 --> 00:22:00,000 More? 444 00:22:00,001 --> 00:22:06,000 Yeah. I love her so much, man. I can't lie. I'm gonna have to tell her. 445 00:22:06,001 --> 00:22:10,000 Okay. Okay, that's an option. 446 00:22:10,001 --> 00:22:12,914 Of course, you should be aware that she 447 00:22:12,926 --> 00:22:16,000 might not marry you today. Or... or ever. 448 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:20,000 No, man, how can I not tell her? I mean, I can't have a marriage without 449 00:22:20,001 --> 00:22:21,000 trust and honesty. 450 00:22:21,001 --> 00:22:24,000 You should have a marriage with honesty. You know, you'll... 451 00:22:24,001 --> 00:22:28,000 you'll just have an engagement with one big lie. 452 00:22:28,001 --> 00:22:35,000 I can live with that. 453 00:22:35,001 --> 00:22:38,000 You got the ring? I got the ring? 454 00:22:38,001 --> 00:22:40,000 Aw, man. You really are my best man. 455 00:22:40,001 --> 00:22:42,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 456 00:22:42,001 --> 00:22:51,000 You know, I'm sorry I was such an asshole. 457 00:22:51,001 --> 00:22:55,000 It's just that this is the scariest thing I'll ever do in my life, you know? 458 00:22:55,001 --> 00:22:59,000 Eddie. Kids. 459 00:22:59,001 --> 00:23:03,000 Aw, man, kids. I forgot about kids. 460 00:23:03,001 --> 00:23:06,000 Yeah, I'm not ready for kids. 461 00:23:06,001 --> 00:23:10,000 Oh, here we go, Loof-Dee-Looh. 462 00:23:10,001 --> 00:23:13,000 Here we go, Loof-Dee-Looh. 463 00:23:13,001 --> 00:23:16,000 Here we go, Loof-Dee-Looh. 464 00:23:16,001 --> 00:23:18,000 On the side of the line. 31943

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