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(TRAM BELL DINGS)
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- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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(PANTS)
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(SHUTTER CLICKS)
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(SHUTTER CLICKS)
6
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- (SHUTTER CLICKS)
- (ROARS)
7
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- Mr. July.
- (SHUTTER CLICKS)
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Mr. August.
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- (SHUTTER CLICKS)
- Mr...
10
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- Come on now.
- (SHUTTER CLICKS)
11
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Oh, well, here you go.
12
00:00:37,691 --> 00:00:39,450
(SHUTTER CLICKS)
13
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♪ Anything can happen when
you're just like me ♪
14
00:00:42,891 --> 00:00:46,650
♪ I'm running carelessly
through a maze ♪
15
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♪ How unexpected. ♪
16
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It's easier, you know, to...
17
00:00:50,371 --> 00:00:51,930
- (MESSAGE ALERT CHIMES)
- Oh!
18
00:00:51,931 --> 00:00:54,250
- What was that?
- No. What? No, nothing.
19
00:00:54,251 --> 00:00:56,130
Sexts. Good on you.
20
00:00:56,131 --> 00:00:58,410
No, we're not sexting.
They're ironic. He's joking.
21
00:00:58,411 --> 00:01:00,610
- That's not funny.
- Here, I'll be the judge of that.
22
00:01:00,611 --> 00:01:02,170
- No.
- I am an expert now.
23
00:01:02,171 --> 00:01:04,090
You wouldn't believe what I'm seeing.
24
00:01:04,091 --> 00:01:06,090
What? What? What, what, what?
Topless ladies?
25
00:01:06,091 --> 00:01:09,210
Yeah, heaps. I mean, I don't go for
them, because they're obviously bi.
26
00:01:09,211 --> 00:01:10,930
You know,
they're playing by hetero rules.
27
00:01:10,931 --> 00:01:12,890
- Well... Do you wanna see?
- Yes.
28
00:01:12,891 --> 00:01:13,970
Yeah. (GIGGLES)
29
00:01:13,971 --> 00:01:16,290
How are you dating with a one-year-old?
30
00:01:16,291 --> 00:01:18,250
- There you go.
- Wow.
31
00:01:18,251 --> 00:01:19,890
- Oh, pretty.
- Oh.
32
00:01:19,891 --> 00:01:21,610
- Oh, not so pretty.
- Whoa.
33
00:01:21,611 --> 00:01:22,970
- I'd date her.
- Would you?
34
00:01:22,971 --> 00:01:25,130
Swipe right. Yes. That jacket.
35
00:01:25,131 --> 00:01:26,290
Oh, you should be careful though.
36
00:01:26,291 --> 00:01:28,690
Isn't online dating
a little bit dangerous?
37
00:01:28,691 --> 00:01:30,170
They're all women. She's fine.
38
00:01:30,171 --> 00:01:33,410
- Who's the lesbian Weinstein?
- I don't think we have one.
39
00:01:33,411 --> 00:01:35,130
Not enough women in positions of power.
40
00:01:35,131 --> 00:01:36,611
We'll get there one day.
41
00:01:37,748 --> 00:01:40,107
Hey, when do you start the new
42
00:01:40,108 --> 00:01:42,067
"I don't want to go to Adelaide"
research job?
43
00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:44,387
This week. But it's just to fill a gap.
44
00:01:44,388 --> 00:01:47,307
Which I should make the most of.
So it's a few weeks max.
45
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:48,427
Need to sort child care though.
46
00:01:48,428 --> 00:01:50,187
Didn't realise
I couldn't do it from home.
47
00:01:50,188 --> 00:01:52,627
What's that one called, the one
that you don't use all the time?
48
00:01:52,628 --> 00:01:54,027
- Occasional.
- Occasional.
49
00:01:54,028 --> 00:01:55,187
Oh, yeah.
50
00:01:55,188 --> 00:01:56,467
What ideology are you after?
51
00:01:56,468 --> 00:01:59,187
Traditional or Steiner
or Montessori, Constructivist...
52
00:01:59,188 --> 00:02:01,387
Uh... really just one with long hours.
53
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:03,667
- What do you recommend?
- Whatever you can get.
54
00:02:03,668 --> 00:02:07,627
Just don't let her reaction make you
feel guilty, because she'll cry.
55
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,547
They all cry. You'll feel guilty anyway.
56
00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:12,467
Absolutely. What's the job?
57
00:02:12,468 --> 00:02:13,827
Oh, it's great.
58
00:02:13,828 --> 00:02:15,787
The council's trying to redefine
public toilet spaces
59
00:02:15,788 --> 00:02:17,667
to accommodate all identities
and genders,
60
00:02:17,668 --> 00:02:19,347
so I'm conducting a review
61
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,787
into the feasibility
of inclusive toilets.
62
00:02:21,788 --> 00:02:23,947
And I'll be assessing
the current state of all the...
63
00:02:23,948 --> 00:02:25,267
Toilets?
64
00:02:25,268 --> 00:02:26,907
So, you're like
an investigative janitor?
65
00:02:26,908 --> 00:02:28,427
- (LAUGHS)
- No.
66
00:02:28,428 --> 00:02:30,947
I might knock this park over now.
67
00:02:30,948 --> 00:02:33,027
I need to wee anyway.
Anyone want to come?
68
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:36,333
Help stop Stevie touching
the sanitary bins while I work?
69
00:02:36,334 --> 00:02:37,795
Anyone?
70
00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:42,347
Oh... sorry, morning sickness.
71
00:02:42,348 --> 00:02:45,657
I thought you said that had passed.
It just came back.
72
00:02:48,708 --> 00:02:52,187
Do you think she got the tattoos
before or after she had kids?
73
00:02:52,188 --> 00:02:53,796
Before.
74
00:02:55,828 --> 00:02:57,529
Is that Georgia?
75
00:02:58,588 --> 00:03:01,802
Yeah, it is. Who's she with?
76
00:03:03,148 --> 00:03:05,307
- Wow.
- (CHUCKLES)
77
00:03:05,308 --> 00:03:07,052
- Hi.
- Hey, guys.
78
00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:08,379
- Hi.
- Hey.
79
00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:09,903
- Hey.
- Hi.
80
00:03:09,904 --> 00:03:12,147
Is that another parents' group?
81
00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:13,667
Are you, like... Are you cheating on us?
82
00:03:13,668 --> 00:03:16,627
- (ALL LAUGH)
- What?
83
00:03:16,628 --> 00:03:17,787
No.
84
00:03:17,788 --> 00:03:21,267
I mean, we never
fully committed, did we?
85
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:22,987
- No. No.
- Oh...
86
00:03:22,988 --> 00:03:26,427
Oh, it's... it's a cultural thing.
Yeah, I get it.
87
00:03:26,428 --> 00:03:28,627
(CLEARS THROAT) I understand.
88
00:03:28,628 --> 00:03:31,107
Yeah, but motherhood,
pretty universal, isn't it?
89
00:03:31,108 --> 00:03:33,107
(LAUGHS) We're all in
this shit-storm together.
90
00:03:33,108 --> 00:03:34,507
Wait, it's not because they're Asian.
91
00:03:34,508 --> 00:03:36,947
I mean, none of them
are even my kind of Chinese.
92
00:03:36,948 --> 00:03:38,987
You know, it's just because
we're more like-minded
93
00:03:38,988 --> 00:03:42,227
and generationally... closer.
94
00:03:42,228 --> 00:03:43,267
Yeah, sure.
95
00:03:43,268 --> 00:03:45,627
Yeah, 'cause you're, like, what?
I mean, you're 30 or something.
96
00:03:45,628 --> 00:03:46,987
25. 25.
97
00:03:46,988 --> 00:03:48,587
And you guys are, like,
you know, in your 40s.
98
00:03:48,588 --> 00:03:50,467
30s. (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)
99
00:03:50,468 --> 00:03:52,947
- 36.
- 30... 30... 30... 39.
100
00:03:52,948 --> 00:03:54,907
- 39.
- Close enough.
101
00:03:54,908 --> 00:03:57,947
No, well... Audrey's sexting.
102
00:03:57,948 --> 00:03:59,987
- Well, yeah. Uh...
- Well, Jeremy's kind of...
103
00:03:59,988 --> 00:04:01,587
- Now?
- Well, he's away, so we just...
104
00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:03,187
It's very...
105
00:04:03,188 --> 00:04:04,747
- (LAUGHS)
- And this one's dating again.
106
00:04:04,748 --> 00:04:06,267
- Oh, yes.
- She is on the...
107
00:04:06,268 --> 00:04:08,467
- Oh, online?
- Yeah, I'm swiping.
108
00:04:08,468 --> 00:04:10,307
It's left and right.
109
00:04:10,308 --> 00:04:12,707
- Cool.
- Yeah, it is cool.
110
00:04:12,708 --> 00:04:14,147
- It's so nice to see you.
- Really nice.
111
00:04:14,148 --> 00:04:16,307
- You guys, too.
- Yeah.
112
00:04:16,308 --> 00:04:18,780
- Bye.
- Bye, Georgia.
113
00:04:19,948 --> 00:04:21,387
- Wow.
- Oh, wow.
114
00:04:21,388 --> 00:04:24,045
- Yeah.
- That hurts. (LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY)
115
00:04:35,548 --> 00:04:37,028
(RINGS DOORBELL)
116
00:04:38,468 --> 00:04:39,947
(WOMAN SPEAKS GREEK)
117
00:04:39,948 --> 00:04:41,507
Nai?
118
00:04:41,508 --> 00:04:43,467
Sorry, I was just wondering
if you do occasional care,
119
00:04:43,468 --> 00:04:44,747
and if you have any spots.
120
00:04:44,748 --> 00:04:46,627
- Nai.
- No. OK.
121
00:04:46,628 --> 00:04:48,147
- Nai.
- Oh, but you're nodding?
122
00:04:48,148 --> 00:04:50,027
- Nai.
- Is that a... That... yes?
123
00:04:50,028 --> 00:04:52,307
Yes, we have availability. Come, come.
124
00:04:52,308 --> 00:04:53,947
Oh, great. OK.
125
00:04:53,948 --> 00:04:55,828
Thank you. (STRAINS)
126
00:04:57,468 --> 00:04:58,468
OK.
127
00:05:06,508 --> 00:05:07,988
You like?
128
00:05:09,988 --> 00:05:12,028
- (CHILD GROWLS)
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
129
00:05:13,348 --> 00:05:17,347
(GROWLS AND SHOUTS)
130
00:05:17,348 --> 00:05:18,507
(SCREAMS)
131
00:05:18,508 --> 00:05:20,547
Uh, thank you so much. I'll be in touch.
132
00:05:20,548 --> 00:05:23,707
No, stop it. Yiayia said no.
133
00:05:23,708 --> 00:05:25,787
- No.
- Goosie, no hitting.
134
00:05:25,788 --> 00:05:28,587
Uh... any availabilities?
135
00:05:28,588 --> 00:05:30,473
No, no, I've had the baby.
136
00:05:31,188 --> 00:05:33,427
Till 2022? Fuck off!
137
00:05:33,428 --> 00:05:35,347
- What? Oh.
- (CALL DISCONNECTS)
138
00:05:35,348 --> 00:05:38,467
I can't hear you. I'm just
asking about occasional care.
139
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:40,427
No, I realise
she'll be going to school then,
140
00:05:40,428 --> 00:05:42,307
but just put me on the list, thank you.
141
00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:46,107
My mother's father was adopted,
so we don't know his full heritage.
142
00:05:46,108 --> 00:05:49,387
Well, her dad is very, VERY Catholic.
143
00:05:49,388 --> 00:05:52,427
Yeah, but hang on, there are not
any priests there, are there?
144
00:05:52,428 --> 00:05:53,947
I mean, that's been sorted out?
145
00:05:53,948 --> 00:05:56,387
Do I have to join the gym
or can I just drop her and go?
146
00:05:56,388 --> 00:05:57,947
She never really cries like this.
147
00:05:57,948 --> 00:05:59,747
- This is just...
- (SCREAMS)
148
00:05:59,748 --> 00:06:01,680
What classes do you have at nine?
149
00:06:03,548 --> 00:06:04,867
Are they heavy weights, or...
150
00:06:04,868 --> 00:06:06,627
Thank you.
151
00:06:06,628 --> 00:06:08,388
(DOORBELL CHIMES)
152
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,027
Hi again. We're back.
153
00:06:12,028 --> 00:06:13,747
Uh, thank you so much
for fitting her in.
154
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:17,867
And she rolls around a bit
when you think she's waking up,
155
00:06:17,868 --> 00:06:20,587
but she just goes straight back
to sleep, so don't be fooled.
156
00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:22,987
Go. Go! Go!
157
00:06:22,988 --> 00:06:24,147
- OK. Yep.
- Go!
158
00:06:24,148 --> 00:06:25,628
Yep, I'm going.
159
00:06:28,348 --> 00:06:29,868
(SNIFFLES)
160
00:06:34,388 --> 00:06:35,948
(SIGHS)
161
00:06:46,788 --> 00:06:49,547
JEREMY: (ON PHONE) Hey, how'd she go?
Did you get any more pics?
162
00:06:49,548 --> 00:06:51,907
Oh, dreamy.
She couldn't have gone better.
163
00:06:51,908 --> 00:06:54,427
Really? How long did you stay?
164
00:06:54,428 --> 00:06:57,787
No, long enough.
You know, she seemed really happy.
165
00:06:57,788 --> 00:07:00,107
- Yeah, right.
- Oh, shit. Vegemite!
166
00:07:00,108 --> 00:07:02,187
But it's a good place.
You think it's good, right?
167
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:05,867
It's great. It's... stimulating
and Steiner... ish.
168
00:07:05,868 --> 00:07:09,507
- What's it costing?
- $450 a week.
169
00:07:09,508 --> 00:07:12,907
- And what are you earning now?
- Just under five.
170
00:07:12,908 --> 00:07:14,947
So, we're almost paying for you to work.
171
00:07:14,948 --> 00:07:17,347
Ah, almost paying for us BOTH to work.
172
00:07:17,348 --> 00:07:19,587
Why are you making me feel guilty?
173
00:07:19,588 --> 00:07:22,027
Do you think Serena's husband
made her feel guilty
174
00:07:22,028 --> 00:07:24,187
as she stepped out onto Rod Laver
Arena for the women's final?
175
00:07:24,188 --> 00:07:27,467
No, but... it's not quite
the same thing, is it?
176
00:07:27,468 --> 00:07:29,307
- Isn't it?
- OK, Aud.
177
00:07:29,308 --> 00:07:32,867
I just wish that she was walking,
178
00:07:32,868 --> 00:07:36,467
so that she could at least walk away
if she was being bullied.
179
00:07:36,468 --> 00:07:38,587
- (TOILET FLUSHES)
- Oh, shit.
180
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,667
I forgot to tell you,
but she's taken some steps.
181
00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,147
- Are you serious?!
- Yeah.
182
00:07:42,148 --> 00:07:45,067
I meant to video it,
but my phone was full.
183
00:07:45,068 --> 00:07:49,987
Sorry. But, I mean, you'll see
her walk heaps in her life.
184
00:07:49,988 --> 00:07:52,867
- How's your project going?
- Oh, it's great. It's great.
185
00:07:52,868 --> 00:07:55,147
Thanks for the like. Finally.
186
00:07:55,148 --> 00:07:57,307
Huh? What are you talking about?
187
00:07:57,308 --> 00:08:00,627
The sexy photo that I sent you
that you just liked.
188
00:08:00,628 --> 00:08:02,427
- Oh, that's disgusting.
- I beg your pardon?
189
00:08:02,428 --> 00:08:05,022
No, I didn't like any photo.
190
00:08:05,023 --> 00:08:06,667
Hey, I've got to go. I'm working.
191
00:08:06,668 --> 00:08:08,590
- OK, love you. Bye.
- Bye.
192
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:17,587
(SHUTTER CLICKS CONTINUOUSLY)
193
00:08:17,588 --> 00:08:19,548
That's a pretty great shot, actually.
194
00:08:20,548 --> 00:08:22,188
Ah, that one's better.
195
00:08:31,348 --> 00:08:34,947
You think you're responsible
enough to have a dog?
196
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,307
No, I don't know if I'm ready.
197
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:38,187
It's sort of like
I've moved towards a child.
198
00:08:38,188 --> 00:08:40,147
Although I do keep being offered semen.
199
00:08:40,148 --> 00:08:43,227
I don't know if that's happened to
you. Like, just unsolicited jizz.
200
00:08:43,228 --> 00:08:46,347
Like, "If you need some, I got
some." I don't know what it is.
201
00:08:46,348 --> 00:08:50,347
It's like you hit 30 and every gay
male friend expects you to breed.
202
00:08:50,348 --> 00:08:53,494
Like, "Oh, we'll co-parent." Like,
that's not gonna end in court.
203
00:08:55,428 --> 00:08:57,947
Well, I actually have a son.
204
00:08:57,948 --> 00:09:02,507
Did I miss that on your profile?
Because that does not excite me.
205
00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:04,187
Sorry.
206
00:09:04,188 --> 00:09:06,227
I think I'm well ahead
in this competition actually.
207
00:09:06,228 --> 00:09:08,507
Ah, well, why would you say that?
208
00:09:08,508 --> 00:09:10,627
I don't like modern art.
209
00:09:10,628 --> 00:09:13,467
- Oh.
- I like the old stuff.
210
00:09:13,468 --> 00:09:15,467
OK, then maybe you are worse, then.
211
00:09:15,468 --> 00:09:17,867
No, I don't like camping.
212
00:09:17,868 --> 00:09:21,707
And, yes, I have never owned
a pair of overalls.
213
00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:23,147
- Oh, yeah, that is good.
- Yeah.
214
00:09:23,148 --> 00:09:24,987
Because I do, I love camping
215
00:09:24,988 --> 00:09:28,067
and I was actually going to wear
my evening overalls tonight.
216
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,627
- Evening overalls?
- To meet you.
217
00:09:29,628 --> 00:09:31,667
- Just kidding, I own heaps.
- Fuck, that's...
218
00:09:31,668 --> 00:09:34,747
- No, you look beautiful.
- Oh, thanks, thanks. Yeah.
219
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,467
- Shall we, uh...
- Yeah.
220
00:09:36,468 --> 00:09:38,770
- Yeah. Another one?
- Yeah, thanks.
221
00:09:39,388 --> 00:09:41,507
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
222
00:09:41,508 --> 00:09:42,907
- Oh, hey!
- Hi.
223
00:09:42,908 --> 00:09:46,467
- How'd you go?
- Excellent. Scored a second date!
224
00:09:46,468 --> 00:09:48,187
Oh, that's great.
225
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:50,227
(LAUGHS) All good here?
226
00:09:50,228 --> 00:09:52,267
Yeah, really good. He's so cute.
227
00:09:52,268 --> 00:09:54,107
He called me dude!
228
00:09:54,108 --> 00:09:57,029
Oh, no, 'doodh' is Hindi for milk.
229
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,067
Oh, right.
230
00:09:59,068 --> 00:10:01,054
Yeah, right, that makes sense.
231
00:10:01,055 --> 00:10:04,827
It was when I was giving him
his bottle, so... yeah.
232
00:10:04,828 --> 00:10:07,747
Hey, listen, I was gonna say,
if it's easier for you,
233
00:10:07,748 --> 00:10:10,107
I'd be happy for him
to do a sleepover at my place.
234
00:10:10,108 --> 00:10:13,027
Certainly easier for me.
235
00:10:13,028 --> 00:10:15,427
Oh, thanks, Dave.
236
00:10:15,428 --> 00:10:17,147
But he's not really ready yet.
237
00:10:17,148 --> 00:10:19,227
And he's actually still up
through the night.
238
00:10:19,228 --> 00:10:21,707
Oh, no, no, no, that's fine.
239
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,516
Yeah, that's fine. Um...
240
00:10:24,308 --> 00:10:26,427
OK, well, I should get going.
241
00:10:26,428 --> 00:10:29,028
- Thanks, Dave.
- (PHONE RINGS)
242
00:10:30,708 --> 00:10:33,939
Oh, actually, can you just
hang around a sec? It's Ranjeet.
243
00:10:33,940 --> 00:10:35,547
I really should get going.
244
00:10:35,548 --> 00:10:37,147
Please, please.
245
00:10:37,148 --> 00:10:39,050
Hey. How's things?
246
00:10:39,051 --> 00:10:42,187
Good. Parents are coming round
for dinner.
247
00:10:42,188 --> 00:10:44,438
Thought I'd sneak in a quick call
before they get here.
248
00:10:46,748 --> 00:10:49,307
I think they need to meet Dave
and then they'll be fine.
249
00:10:49,308 --> 00:10:51,250
And a wedding date would help.
250
00:11:00,988 --> 00:11:03,987
It won't. And last time
Ma almost had a heart attack.
251
00:11:03,988 --> 00:11:06,227
And didn't talk to me for two years.
252
00:11:06,228 --> 00:11:09,507
She was just upset you didn't
finish your medical degree.
253
00:11:09,508 --> 00:11:10,907
It's what we Anands do,
254
00:11:10,908 --> 00:11:15,292
we become doctors and then we marry,
preferably doctors.
255
00:11:16,428 --> 00:11:18,947
- Here's Dave.
- Hello, David.
256
00:11:18,948 --> 00:11:20,987
Hi, Ranjeet.
257
00:11:20,988 --> 00:11:22,827
- How's Perth?
- Hot, mate.
258
00:11:22,828 --> 00:11:24,867
Yeah, is it? I bet.
259
00:11:24,868 --> 00:11:27,187
Well, great catching up with you.
260
00:11:27,188 --> 00:11:29,066
Uh... See ya.
261
00:11:29,948 --> 00:11:32,747
OK, so, how's Daadi Maa?
262
00:11:32,748 --> 00:11:34,954
She's getting old.
263
00:11:37,428 --> 00:11:38,908
BABY: Yiayia.
264
00:11:40,388 --> 00:11:41,627
Yeah.
265
00:11:41,628 --> 00:11:43,308
Did she just call you Yiayia?
266
00:11:44,428 --> 00:11:45,428
Go.
267
00:11:45,429 --> 00:11:46,667
I am going.
268
00:11:46,668 --> 00:11:48,308
Go.
269
00:11:53,188 --> 00:11:55,987
Hey, the women's is free
if you girls really need to go.
270
00:11:55,988 --> 00:11:57,787
We don't identify as female.
271
00:11:57,788 --> 00:12:00,878
Or male either.
We don't like binary labels.
272
00:12:01,748 --> 00:12:04,482
Absolutely. Sorry. That's really cool.
273
00:12:04,868 --> 00:12:08,284
Actually, I might identify as female,
just for a sec. Busting.
274
00:12:11,828 --> 00:12:14,107
- (SNAPS FINGERS) Audrey!
- Scott!
275
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:16,347
- How are you going?
- Are you non-binary now?
276
00:12:16,348 --> 00:12:18,587
Hey? No, that's just the roomiest one.
277
00:12:18,588 --> 00:12:20,838
It's alright, fellas,
the coast is clear. Come out.
278
00:12:22,548 --> 00:12:25,347
See you next Thursday.
And remember, Rat Park.
279
00:12:25,348 --> 00:12:26,834
- Yeah.
- Remember.
280
00:12:28,028 --> 00:12:31,337
What? Hey, could you be quick,
please? I've got a 3:30 in a minute.
281
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,227
- What?
- Did you just... Is that a...
282
00:12:35,228 --> 00:12:37,747
Office. Yeah, that is my office.
That's correct. Yes, it is.
283
00:12:37,748 --> 00:12:40,027
Well, I'll be telling the council
that their attempt to create a safe
284
00:12:40,028 --> 00:12:41,747
gender-neutral toilet space has failed.
285
00:12:41,748 --> 00:12:44,067
- How's that?
- Being used as a crack shop.
286
00:12:44,068 --> 00:12:46,747
- Nice one.
- Crack shop? What's a crack shop?
287
00:12:46,748 --> 00:12:50,067
Don't catastrophise, Audrey.
That's genuinely my office, alright?
288
00:12:50,068 --> 00:12:52,347
I'm off the gear. Did you not know that?
289
00:12:52,348 --> 00:12:53,747
I'm completely clean.
290
00:12:53,748 --> 00:12:56,507
Like, completely against the odds,
I've done it. A hero's journey.
291
00:12:56,508 --> 00:12:58,907
And now I'm giving back to
the community. I'm helping others.
292
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:02,307
I developed my own 12-step program,
but I do it in six for 50 bucks.
293
00:13:02,308 --> 00:13:04,267
Well, that's still unethical. NA's free.
294
00:13:04,268 --> 00:13:05,268
I've no idea.
295
00:13:05,269 --> 00:13:06,587
Anyway, it's good you're off the drugs.
296
00:13:06,588 --> 00:13:09,147
If you're going to be talking to
those arse clowns at city council,
297
00:13:09,148 --> 00:13:11,227
could you tell them all the lights
at Cooper Park are gone?
298
00:13:11,228 --> 00:13:13,667
Completely. It's black there.
Like, they're all smashed out,
299
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,267
and it's fucking dangerous,
to be honest.
300
00:13:15,268 --> 00:13:16,387
- All the lights?
- All of them.
301
00:13:16,388 --> 00:13:18,267
And I feel unsafe there. Put "unsafe".
302
00:13:18,268 --> 00:13:20,867
- Where's your little fella?
- At day care.
303
00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:22,627
Ooh, a bit young, isn't he?
Is he talking yet?
304
00:13:22,628 --> 00:13:23,787
A few words.
305
00:13:23,788 --> 00:13:25,987
What if something bad happens
and he can't tell you about it?
306
00:13:25,988 --> 00:13:27,956
- Scott, he is a girl.
- Is he?
307
00:13:29,696 --> 00:13:32,467
Sorry. No, I was talking about
my one-year-old,
308
00:13:32,468 --> 00:13:36,027
who may identify as a boy
in the future, or as non-binary.
309
00:13:36,028 --> 00:13:38,347
I'm very open
for them to make that call.
310
00:13:38,348 --> 00:13:40,187
Yep. His choice, her choice.
Doesn't matter.
311
00:13:40,188 --> 00:13:43,118
Off you fuck, the adults are talking.
312
00:13:43,119 --> 00:13:44,386
Tricky at that age, aren't they?
313
00:13:44,387 --> 00:13:46,707
Actually, can you tell me more
about the loos at Cooper Park?
314
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:48,427
- That might save me a visit.
- Sure.
315
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,267
- Great.
- I'm actually heading there shortly.
316
00:13:50,268 --> 00:13:53,080
I can give you an update.
Have I got your digits?
317
00:13:53,988 --> 00:13:55,907
- No.
- Hit me.
318
00:13:55,908 --> 00:13:59,627
Oh... no, I just don't know
if I should give it to you.
319
00:13:59,628 --> 00:14:00,903
Yeah. None taken.
320
00:14:02,828 --> 00:14:06,507
Oh, alright. 0423 6071 605.
321
00:14:06,508 --> 00:14:08,267
605. You're going to regret that.
322
00:14:08,268 --> 00:14:11,187
No, I'm kidding. It's safe... ish.
No, I'm kidding.
323
00:14:11,188 --> 00:14:13,867
I'll call you and we'll talk about
payment plans and what have you.
324
00:14:13,868 --> 00:14:15,107
- OK.
- Take care.
325
00:14:15,108 --> 00:14:17,707
Good to see you, Scott.
Ooh, dress shoes.
326
00:14:17,708 --> 00:14:20,587
Yeah, nice, innit? Business.
327
00:14:20,588 --> 00:14:22,748
You know, walk the walk, talk the talk.
328
00:14:24,268 --> 00:14:25,467
Dinner's almost ready,
329
00:14:25,468 --> 00:14:29,747
and then do you mind sticking around
and just saying hello to Ranjeet?
330
00:14:29,748 --> 00:14:33,467
Because it's his birthday.
And then I've got my second date.
331
00:14:33,468 --> 00:14:35,867
I don't think that's a good idea.
I'm such a terrible liar.
332
00:14:35,868 --> 00:14:38,107
And besides, don't you think
it's time you told him?
333
00:14:38,108 --> 00:14:40,667
- I mean, he seems cool.
- Told him what?
334
00:14:40,668 --> 00:14:42,867
Told him that we're not a couple!
335
00:14:42,868 --> 00:14:45,267
That we're definitely
never getting married,
336
00:14:45,268 --> 00:14:49,581
and, I don't know,
that it's 2019 and you're gay.
337
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:52,250
On his birthday?
338
00:14:53,188 --> 00:14:57,767
No, you just don't understand. No,
we come from very different worlds.
339
00:14:57,768 --> 00:15:01,067
Yeah, but didn't India
just decriminalise...
340
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:03,767
Oh, OK, yeah, fine!
I will Skype him later.
341
00:15:03,768 --> 00:15:05,007
(PHONE CHIMES)
342
00:15:08,428 --> 00:15:10,427
Hey?
343
00:15:10,428 --> 00:15:14,706
Do you think that you're
really ready for a sleepover?
344
00:15:15,867 --> 00:15:19,283
Because, um... maybe I was wrong.
345
00:15:20,748 --> 00:15:22,547
How's tonight?
346
00:15:22,548 --> 00:15:24,827
You mean TONIGHT tonight?
347
00:15:24,828 --> 00:15:26,827
Yeah. Do you want the play mat?
348
00:15:26,828 --> 00:15:28,187
'Cause I can just... I just...
349
00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:30,427
Yeah, just put his toys
in the middle and...
350
00:15:30,428 --> 00:15:33,987
Oh, um, what do I do
if he wakes in the night?
351
00:15:33,988 --> 00:15:35,587
He won't.
352
00:15:35,588 --> 00:15:38,867
And if he does, you just hold him...
353
00:15:38,868 --> 00:15:41,268
...and rock him for an hour.
354
00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:44,683
- Or two.
- OK.
355
00:15:47,588 --> 00:15:49,228
Oh, my...
356
00:15:52,708 --> 00:15:54,547
Mmm.
357
00:15:54,548 --> 00:15:56,867
I'm so... I'm so busting for the loo.
358
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:58,627
Oh, really?! OK, yeah, sure.
359
00:15:58,628 --> 00:16:00,827
No, that's fine. It's just up there.
360
00:16:00,828 --> 00:16:02,787
- OK, alright. OK.
- OK, bye.
361
00:16:02,788 --> 00:16:04,268
Oh. Oh, my gosh.
362
00:16:06,108 --> 00:16:07,588
Ay-ay-ay-ay.
363
00:16:29,908 --> 00:16:33,596
- Everything good?
- Yeah, yeah. I'll just be a sec.
364
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,574
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
365
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:51,580
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
366
00:16:52,668 --> 00:16:55,897
So, why is there, um,
nappies in the bathroom?
367
00:16:56,508 --> 00:16:58,507
What? Well, that's strange.
368
00:16:58,508 --> 00:17:02,182
Mm. And a dummy in the vanity.
369
00:17:03,668 --> 00:17:07,087
OK... bit weird.
370
00:17:08,188 --> 00:17:12,627
My last girlfriend had a baby fetish.
371
00:17:12,628 --> 00:17:14,307
Yeah. (LAUGHS)
372
00:17:14,308 --> 00:17:18,721
There is a full nursery
set up in the second bedroom.
373
00:17:20,068 --> 00:17:23,187
(STAMMERS) It was a bit intense.
374
00:17:23,188 --> 00:17:24,827
And I really should
get rid of that stuff.
375
00:17:24,828 --> 00:17:27,507
Yeah, there's actually
a photo of you in there
376
00:17:27,508 --> 00:17:30,660
literally moments after giving birth.
377
00:17:31,348 --> 00:17:33,605
- That's not me.
- Yeah, that is.
378
00:17:35,748 --> 00:17:37,827
- It is.
- Mmm.
379
00:17:37,828 --> 00:17:41,147
I... have... a...
380
00:17:41,148 --> 00:17:42,227
...one-year-old.
381
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,427
Yeah. Yeah, I thought that you might.
382
00:17:45,428 --> 00:17:46,547
(BOTH LAUGH)
383
00:17:46,548 --> 00:17:48,978
So, why did you lie to me?
That's not cool.
384
00:17:50,588 --> 00:17:54,387
Well, snooping through my apartment,
that's not very cool either.
385
00:17:54,388 --> 00:17:56,467
I mean, you know, my bathroom vanity?
386
00:17:56,468 --> 00:17:59,947
- Yeah, everybody does that, so...
- In the movies, sure. But not...
387
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:02,147
OK, I don't think that
this is going to work,
388
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:04,747
so I'm going to leave.
389
00:18:04,748 --> 00:18:06,467
- Oh, well...
- OK.
390
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:11,987
Why am I the only lesbian
who likes babies?
391
00:18:11,988 --> 00:18:14,907
Oh, no, I like babies,
I just don't like liars.
392
00:18:14,908 --> 00:18:16,491
Goodnight.
393
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,348
(DOOR CLOSES)
394
00:18:31,908 --> 00:18:35,827
Sorry. Sorry, she just won't let go.
Is this normal?
395
00:18:35,828 --> 00:18:37,907
Completely normal. Come to Yiayia.
396
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,067
- Come. Come to Yiayia.
- Come on, come on.
397
00:18:40,068 --> 00:18:42,547
- Come on. Come on.
- (CRIES)
398
00:18:42,548 --> 00:18:45,107
Come to Yiayia. Oh, there,
there, there, there, there.
399
00:18:45,108 --> 00:18:47,987
(COOS)
400
00:18:47,988 --> 00:18:50,827
Go, go, go. Go. Look at this.
401
00:18:50,828 --> 00:18:52,427
Look at this.
402
00:18:52,428 --> 00:18:54,147
Yeah, not so good today.
403
00:18:54,148 --> 00:18:56,427
She's already worn down
by the 9-to-5 cycle.
404
00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:57,947
JEREMY: Yeah, well, I don't blame her.
405
00:18:57,948 --> 00:19:00,907
Yeah, I think she's really smart.
Hey, where are you? It's echoey.
406
00:19:00,908 --> 00:19:03,747
Hang on, I'll take a pic.
407
00:19:03,748 --> 00:19:05,827
- (SHUTTER CLICKS)
- There you go.
408
00:19:05,828 --> 00:19:07,867
(SENT ALERT CHIMES)
409
00:19:07,868 --> 00:19:08,975
Oh, God!
410
00:19:10,388 --> 00:19:12,827
Jeremy! It's 9am! Yuck.
411
00:19:12,828 --> 00:19:15,907
That was just a joke one.
I thought you'd laugh.
412
00:19:15,908 --> 00:19:18,547
Besides, why are you liking it,
if you think it's so yuck?
413
00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:20,227
I didn't. And I won't.
414
00:19:20,228 --> 00:19:22,467
Yeah, you did.
And now you're commenting.
415
00:19:22,468 --> 00:19:24,189
Emoji, thumbs up!
416
00:19:25,308 --> 00:19:28,495
Oh, fuck! Does Verity still have
access to your iPad?
417
00:19:29,508 --> 00:19:31,987
- Oh, God.
- Excellent, Aud.
418
00:19:31,988 --> 00:19:35,147
Your mum's just received
and liked a picture of my penis.
419
00:19:35,148 --> 00:19:37,707
Well, at least she liked it.
No, sorry. I'll sort that.
420
00:19:37,708 --> 00:19:38,947
Audrey!
421
00:19:38,948 --> 00:19:41,307
Oh, I better go.
Yiayia's shooing me away.
422
00:19:41,308 --> 00:19:43,987
Alright, alright. Yeah, I'm going.
423
00:19:43,988 --> 00:19:46,724
No, no, today you come. You take.
424
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,947
She's been rejected.
I didn't know that could happen.
425
00:19:50,948 --> 00:19:53,065
Oh, man, I better go. Bye.
426
00:19:57,748 --> 00:19:59,387
Hello, mate.
427
00:19:59,388 --> 00:20:02,202
So, it's hand, foot and mouth.
428
00:20:04,428 --> 00:20:07,947
In 2019? Sounds like something
from Oliver Twist.
429
00:20:07,948 --> 00:20:10,907
It's very common with little ones
at childcare.
430
00:20:10,908 --> 00:20:12,667
It will clear up by itself.
431
00:20:12,668 --> 00:20:16,307
But you need to quarantine
the two of you for the next 10 days.
432
00:20:16,308 --> 00:20:18,987
I'm sorry, did you just
say 10 days' quarantine?
433
00:20:18,988 --> 00:20:20,947
This is perfectly normal.
434
00:20:20,948 --> 00:20:22,787
She'd get sick
no matter where you sent her.
435
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:26,987
Everyone should expect rolling
illness for the first six months.
436
00:20:26,988 --> 00:20:29,439
Oh, and you're due for your pap smear.
437
00:20:30,748 --> 00:20:33,267
Oh, good. Great news.
438
00:20:33,268 --> 00:20:34,747
Hello, darling!
439
00:20:34,748 --> 00:20:37,627
I'm maintaining my distance
because we've just been quarantined,
440
00:20:37,628 --> 00:20:40,027
but also because I'm so mad at you.
441
00:20:40,028 --> 00:20:42,827
Liking those photos. That's
way out of line. Even for you.
442
00:20:42,828 --> 00:20:44,267
Darling, I had to like them.
443
00:20:44,268 --> 00:20:45,707
It's a very vulnerable thing,
444
00:20:45,708 --> 00:20:47,947
you can't leave them hanging out
like that.
445
00:20:47,948 --> 00:20:49,387
Literally hanging out.
446
00:20:49,388 --> 00:20:50,907
OK, Mum, give me the iPad?
447
00:20:50,908 --> 00:20:52,747
I won't read your messages anymore.
I promise.
448
00:20:52,748 --> 00:20:55,227
(LAUGHS) Like my diary when I was 12?
449
00:20:55,228 --> 00:20:56,427
I'm not falling for that again.
450
00:20:56,428 --> 00:20:58,067
Audrey, I don't want
to read your messages,
451
00:20:58,068 --> 00:20:59,627
they just keep popping up.
452
00:20:59,628 --> 00:21:00,907
Can't we turn the thing off?
453
00:21:00,908 --> 00:21:03,947
I don't know!
You need to get off my cloud.
454
00:21:03,948 --> 00:21:05,227
Ruben!
455
00:21:05,228 --> 00:21:07,387
What? Oh, hi, Aud.
456
00:21:07,388 --> 00:21:10,387
- What's he doing here?
- I was just assembling a flat pack.
457
00:21:10,388 --> 00:21:12,667
I was going to say hi,
but it sounded private.
458
00:21:12,668 --> 00:21:15,667
Cloud work? You bet. Now?
459
00:21:15,668 --> 00:21:19,820
But upstairs.
I need to isolate myself from you.
460
00:21:20,628 --> 00:21:24,387
Audrey! Does he not know
it doesn't work if you're flaccid?
461
00:21:24,388 --> 00:21:26,827
He needs to be erect.
462
00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:28,671
Yeah, you're right. It should be erect.
463
00:21:30,266 --> 00:21:32,253
You should be safe out there.
464
00:21:33,068 --> 00:21:35,174
OK, what's your cloud password?
465
00:21:35,868 --> 00:21:38,187
Oh, what?
466
00:21:38,188 --> 00:21:40,227
- (KNOCKS) Audrey?
- Yeah, no idea.
467
00:21:40,228 --> 00:21:42,667
Don't worry.
468
00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:45,147
- (MESSAGE ALERT CHIMES)
- Was that a text message?
469
00:21:45,148 --> 00:21:46,547
- Yeah.
- Oh, shit.
470
00:21:46,548 --> 00:21:48,507
I'm so sorry you had to see that.
471
00:21:48,508 --> 00:21:50,947
He's really missing me,
472
00:21:50,948 --> 00:21:52,827
and he likes to use visual aids.
473
00:21:52,828 --> 00:21:56,227
And he's been climbing,
so he's showing off his bottom.
474
00:21:56,228 --> 00:21:58,427
- Which is looking quite good.
- (LAUGHS)
475
00:21:58,428 --> 00:22:01,427
No, it was just a message
re your new password.
476
00:22:01,428 --> 00:22:04,227
Oh. Oh, good. (CLEARS THROAT)
477
00:22:04,228 --> 00:22:06,387
How's StevieNicks16?
478
00:22:06,388 --> 00:22:08,067
Oh, that's great. I'll remember that.
479
00:22:08,068 --> 00:22:09,907
No judgement, by the way.
480
00:22:09,908 --> 00:22:12,111
Who doesn't love a climbing bottom?
481
00:22:12,828 --> 00:22:15,187
You joining him after the toilet job?
482
00:22:15,188 --> 00:22:17,707
Yeah, if he passes probation.
483
00:22:17,708 --> 00:22:19,867
Has anyone ever not passed probation?
484
00:22:19,868 --> 00:22:21,787
Yeah, I just want to be 100% sure.
485
00:22:21,788 --> 00:22:23,907
And I've got the gender neutral
project and...
486
00:22:23,908 --> 00:22:25,867
Oh, fuck, how am I going to finish that?
487
00:22:25,868 --> 00:22:27,787
Oh, my God, it's due next week.
488
00:22:27,788 --> 00:22:30,104
(GROANS)
489
00:22:30,668 --> 00:22:32,947
What am I doing, Ruben?
490
00:22:32,948 --> 00:22:35,067
Putting her in an infectious childcare.
491
00:22:35,068 --> 00:22:37,067
Making Jeremy cancel his trip home.
492
00:22:37,068 --> 00:22:40,467
Because what's the point?
So now he's sad and very frustrated.
493
00:22:40,468 --> 00:22:41,987
All for toilets.
494
00:22:41,988 --> 00:22:46,707
I reckon you and Jeremy just need
a date night or a dirty weekend.
495
00:22:46,708 --> 00:22:48,027
Ester swears by them.
496
00:22:48,028 --> 00:22:50,499
Although ours are getting
cleaner and cleaner.
497
00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:53,868
Actually, it's been a while for us, too.
498
00:22:55,668 --> 00:22:59,027
Maybe we could do a double dirty week...
499
00:22:59,028 --> 00:23:01,549
No. No, people don't do that.
500
00:23:02,908 --> 00:23:05,467
OK, I've set Verity up
with her own cloud,
501
00:23:05,468 --> 00:23:08,267
and locked yours.
502
00:23:08,268 --> 00:23:10,867
So sext away!
503
00:23:10,868 --> 00:23:12,547
Thank you.
504
00:23:12,548 --> 00:23:14,188
What's your new password?
505
00:23:16,788 --> 00:23:20,307
Nope. Oh, has it got something
to do with Fleetwood Mac?
506
00:23:20,308 --> 00:23:22,987
- Mm.
- Was it... Give me another clue.
507
00:23:22,988 --> 00:23:25,347
Fleetwood Mac's a pretty good clue.
508
00:23:25,348 --> 00:23:27,107
I mean...
509
00:23:27,108 --> 00:23:29,427
What's her name...
Oh, what's her name again?
510
00:23:29,428 --> 00:23:32,067
It's literally
the same name as your child,
511
00:23:32,068 --> 00:23:33,913
but with a Fleetwood Mac...
512
00:23:35,508 --> 00:23:36,707
Oh, shit.
513
00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:39,667
DAVE: Come on, you can do it.
Do it for Teddy.
514
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:41,987
OK, OK. Here I go.
515
00:23:41,988 --> 00:23:44,387
(RINGING TONE)
516
00:23:44,388 --> 00:23:46,227
RANJEET: Ah, Madu. Hi.
517
00:23:46,228 --> 00:23:47,987
Hey, um...
518
00:23:47,988 --> 00:23:49,427
Hey.
519
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:52,027
- How were the birthday celebrations?
- Wonderful.
520
00:23:52,028 --> 00:23:53,227
Wish you could have been here.
521
00:23:53,228 --> 00:23:56,827
Yeah, look, I've got
something to tell you.
522
00:23:56,828 --> 00:24:00,718
It's just that Dave's actually
523
00:24:00,719 --> 00:24:03,292
Teddy's sperm donor.
524
00:24:03,293 --> 00:24:06,147
And we're not getting married.
525
00:24:06,148 --> 00:24:08,227
OK, Madu, you might want to talk...
526
00:24:08,228 --> 00:24:10,627
...because I'm...
527
00:24:10,628 --> 00:24:13,947
We're not together 'cause...
528
00:24:13,948 --> 00:24:16,930
(STAMMERS) We can talk
about this another time.
529
00:24:19,228 --> 00:24:20,988
- Yeah, I like women.
- Oh, boy.
530
00:24:23,388 --> 00:24:25,467
(WOMAN GASPS)
531
00:24:25,468 --> 00:24:28,347
Do you realise what shame
you bring to the family?!
532
00:24:28,348 --> 00:24:29,587
No way! They're there.
533
00:24:29,588 --> 00:24:32,107
Oh, where is she? I can't see her.
534
00:24:32,108 --> 00:24:34,747
- He's there.
- Madu? Madu?!
535
00:24:34,748 --> 00:24:36,427
- Talk to them.
- Where is she?
536
00:24:36,428 --> 00:24:38,747
I can only see a blank.
537
00:24:38,748 --> 00:24:40,627
Oh, what's going on?
538
00:24:40,628 --> 00:24:42,427
Are you trying to kill us?
539
00:24:42,428 --> 00:24:44,747
It's not a crime anymore.
It's legal, Ma.
540
00:24:44,748 --> 00:24:46,587
(SPEAKS HINDI)
541
00:24:46,588 --> 00:24:49,667
What kind of Anand
doesn't finish her medical degree?
542
00:24:49,668 --> 00:24:52,881
Even your dumb cousin is now a dentist.
543
00:24:54,348 --> 00:24:56,507
AUDREY: OK, come on, darling.
Come on, come to Mum.
544
00:24:56,508 --> 00:24:57,508
Come to Mum. Come to Mum.
545
00:24:57,509 --> 00:24:59,867
Yeah, I need to get you walking
for Daddy.
546
00:24:59,868 --> 00:25:02,067
Yeah, I know you're sick, but please...
547
00:25:02,068 --> 00:25:03,588
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Oh!
548
00:25:04,948 --> 00:25:06,627
Oh. Hi.
549
00:25:06,628 --> 00:25:10,227
Yeah, g'day. How you going?
Listen, I'm at the Kent Street ones.
550
00:25:10,228 --> 00:25:12,587
You don't want to see this.
People are animals.
551
00:25:12,588 --> 00:25:14,907
And I'm guessing your standards
are low, very low.
552
00:25:14,908 --> 00:25:16,667
Oh, what, because
I'm a reformed drug dealer?
553
00:25:16,668 --> 00:25:18,707
I'd watch that, that's prejudice, OK?
554
00:25:18,708 --> 00:25:21,987
No, because your office is a toilet.
Anyway, have a look.
555
00:25:21,988 --> 00:25:24,387
Hang on. There we go.
556
00:25:24,388 --> 00:25:27,347
- Did you get any interviews at all?
- Well, yeah.
557
00:25:27,348 --> 00:25:28,787
Generally, the women are thumbs down.
558
00:25:28,788 --> 00:25:30,627
I mean, they just don't want to be
anywhere near
559
00:25:30,628 --> 00:25:32,467
the urinal cakes and man poos.
560
00:25:32,468 --> 00:25:34,227
Oh, fair enough. What about the men?
561
00:25:34,228 --> 00:25:36,307
- Oh, no, no, no. The men's is a beat.
- Oh, wow.
562
00:25:36,308 --> 00:25:37,747
(LAUGHS)
563
00:25:37,748 --> 00:25:39,467
That's what those noises were.
564
00:25:39,468 --> 00:25:41,787
- Well, did you take some photos?
- Did I get any photos?!
565
00:25:41,788 --> 00:25:45,467
Of the toilet sex?! No, Audrey,
I didn't. Sorry about that.
566
00:25:45,468 --> 00:25:46,707
No, not of the sex.
567
00:25:46,708 --> 00:25:48,467
I probably could ask them
some questions though.
568
00:25:48,468 --> 00:25:49,787
It is pumping in there.
569
00:25:49,788 --> 00:25:51,507
Oh, could you? That would be great.
570
00:25:51,508 --> 00:25:52,987
Hey, do you want to see
my daughter walk?
571
00:25:52,988 --> 00:25:55,107
- Oh, no, I couldn't be fucked. Bye.
- Oh, come on, she...
572
00:25:55,108 --> 00:25:56,668
(DISCONNECTS)
573
00:26:14,508 --> 00:26:17,187
(MESSAGE SENT ALERT CHIMES)
574
00:26:17,188 --> 00:26:19,068
(MESSAGE RECEIVED ALERT CHIMES)
575
00:26:26,148 --> 00:26:28,268
(GROANS)
576
00:26:37,028 --> 00:26:39,548
- (SHUTTER CLICKS)
- Oh!
577
00:26:40,708 --> 00:26:43,068
- Oh.
- (MESSAGE SENT ALERT CHIMES)
578
00:26:49,148 --> 00:26:52,228
(PHONE VIBRATES)
579
00:26:55,668 --> 00:26:56,982
Hi.
580
00:26:56,983 --> 00:26:59,107
Yeah, I think I just need
one of your boobs.
581
00:26:59,108 --> 00:27:00,883
That's kind of the point.
582
00:27:00,884 --> 00:27:04,507
Seriously? Oh, that's so cliched.
We're better than that, aren't we?
583
00:27:04,508 --> 00:27:06,267
Not some kind of art project
or something,
584
00:27:06,268 --> 00:27:10,507
it's simple, basic desire, you know?
585
00:27:10,508 --> 00:27:13,267
I mean, I sent you my bits,
and that was embarrassing at first.
586
00:27:13,268 --> 00:27:16,307
And I don't think we need
to talk about it.
587
00:27:16,308 --> 00:27:19,627
I prefer the talking.
And your bits in context.
588
00:27:19,628 --> 00:27:22,035
Well, what DO you find attractive?
589
00:27:23,508 --> 00:27:27,107
- Your dry sense of humour.
- I can't photograph that.
590
00:27:27,108 --> 00:27:29,347
OK, well, I like watching you
do things you're really good at.
591
00:27:29,348 --> 00:27:31,107
You know, like, um...
592
00:27:31,108 --> 00:27:34,747
Like board games and deboning fish.
593
00:27:34,748 --> 00:27:37,467
Oh, yeah? You know,
there's an old Connect Four here?
594
00:27:37,468 --> 00:27:40,787
I could nude up and, you know,
595
00:27:40,788 --> 00:27:43,107
put an extra playing piece in amongst...
596
00:27:43,108 --> 00:27:44,867
No!
597
00:27:44,868 --> 00:27:46,907
And I like you sitting opposite me,
fully dressed,
598
00:27:46,908 --> 00:27:49,027
when I've picked your outfit.
599
00:27:49,028 --> 00:27:51,587
- I miss our dates.
- Yeah, me too.
600
00:27:51,588 --> 00:27:53,253
I miss my girls.
601
00:27:54,388 --> 00:27:57,987
- And that's not a euphemism.
- I know what you did there.
602
00:27:57,988 --> 00:28:01,987
Yeah, to me. I mean Andre Rieu
is the extent of my knowledge.
603
00:28:01,988 --> 00:28:03,667
My mum loves him.
604
00:28:03,668 --> 00:28:06,227
Well, no-one I play with
has hair like his.
605
00:28:06,228 --> 00:28:09,267
(BOTH LAUGH)
606
00:28:09,268 --> 00:28:11,947
I want to be honest with you.
607
00:28:11,948 --> 00:28:13,467
I'm married.
608
00:28:13,468 --> 00:28:15,849
My husband really likes to watch.
609
00:28:19,028 --> 00:28:20,787
Just the bill?
610
00:28:20,788 --> 00:28:24,016
So, you're in? I'll text Ben.
611
00:28:24,017 --> 00:28:26,458
No! Not in. Don't text Ben.
612
00:28:28,588 --> 00:28:31,987
I have a one-year-old boy
and an overinvolved donor dad.
613
00:28:31,988 --> 00:28:33,027
Right. (LAUGHS)
614
00:28:33,028 --> 00:28:36,264
I play cello.
I teach more than play these days.
615
00:28:37,268 --> 00:28:40,223
I just came out to my family,
at age 39...
616
00:28:42,188 --> 00:28:43,867
...who are now in denial.
617
00:28:43,868 --> 00:28:46,107
(LAUGHS) OK.
618
00:28:46,108 --> 00:28:48,787
Um, I'm only three years out myself.
619
00:28:48,788 --> 00:28:50,267
Huh.
620
00:28:50,268 --> 00:28:52,947
My family is pretty progressive.
621
00:28:52,948 --> 00:28:55,827
Well, except my aunty, but fuck her.
622
00:28:55,828 --> 00:28:58,827
She still gives her 35-year-old
daughter pocket money, so...
623
00:28:58,828 --> 00:29:01,187
(LAUGHS)
624
00:29:01,188 --> 00:29:05,947
I've never dated an Indian woman
before. Mum will be happy. Racist.
625
00:29:05,948 --> 00:29:06,948
Mm.
626
00:29:06,949 --> 00:29:09,427
I'm 35, I'm back at uni
627
00:29:09,428 --> 00:29:12,587
and I work part-time here,
which you know.
628
00:29:12,588 --> 00:29:14,907
I do. But what are you studying?
629
00:29:14,908 --> 00:29:18,021
- Medicine.
- Oh.
630
00:29:21,388 --> 00:29:23,227
- JEREMY: Thanks, mate.
- MAN: Thanks, mate.
631
00:29:23,228 --> 00:29:24,988
(DOOR CLOSES, PHONE RINGS)
632
00:29:27,908 --> 00:29:30,067
- Did you buy me dinner?
- AUDREY: Mm-hm.
633
00:29:30,068 --> 00:29:31,827
Green curry? It's perfect.
634
00:29:31,828 --> 00:29:33,587
OK, now open your laptop.
635
00:29:33,588 --> 00:29:35,747
We're going to watch
Michelle Wolf's latest special.
636
00:29:35,748 --> 00:29:37,587
Dinner and a show?
637
00:29:37,588 --> 00:29:39,027
Old school.
638
00:29:39,028 --> 00:29:42,467
And this way you can heckle without
risking ridicule, or expulsion.
639
00:29:42,468 --> 00:29:44,067
- Or embarrassing me.
- Nice one.
640
00:29:44,068 --> 00:29:45,627
Give me five, I'll set it up.
641
00:29:45,628 --> 00:29:48,827
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ON LAPTOP)
642
00:29:48,828 --> 00:29:50,587
Another glass?
643
00:29:50,588 --> 00:29:52,667
Hm, don't mind if I do.
644
00:29:52,668 --> 00:29:55,067
Please, allow me. OK, you do it.
645
00:29:55,068 --> 00:29:57,308
(LAUGHS)
646
00:29:58,988 --> 00:30:01,347
Oh, I forgot to tell you, Martha called.
647
00:30:01,348 --> 00:30:02,467
Apparently, Teddy has had
648
00:30:02,468 --> 00:30:04,307
an extremely mild case
of hand, foot and mouth.
649
00:30:04,308 --> 00:30:05,867
It's gone through his whole childcare.
650
00:30:05,868 --> 00:30:08,427
She didn't even realise.
So, it wasn't Yiayia's after all.
651
00:30:08,428 --> 00:30:10,553
- That's a relief.
- Mm.
652
00:30:11,748 --> 00:30:14,267
- I bloody love that place.
- Yiayia's the best.
653
00:30:14,268 --> 00:30:17,779
Yeah, she really is.
I wish she was my yiayia.
654
00:30:17,780 --> 00:30:19,940
I miss you.
655
00:30:19,941 --> 00:30:21,547
You wearing pants?
656
00:30:21,548 --> 00:30:23,024
Let's find out.
657
00:30:24,228 --> 00:30:27,027
(LAUGHS)
658
00:30:27,028 --> 00:30:28,947
No. No, you're not.
659
00:30:28,948 --> 00:30:31,458
- Are you going to take yours off?
- What?!
660
00:30:31,459 --> 00:30:34,027
- No!
- One night only. Come on!
661
00:30:34,028 --> 00:30:37,027
Oh, I'm wearing bad undies.
662
00:30:37,028 --> 00:30:39,587
There's no such thing as bad undies.
Not when you're in Adelaide.
663
00:30:39,588 --> 00:30:41,427
(LAUGHS)
664
00:30:41,428 --> 00:30:43,147
Alright, alright.
665
00:30:43,148 --> 00:30:44,724
Here we go.
666
00:30:45,588 --> 00:30:47,907
Darling, I just popped in to get...
667
00:30:47,908 --> 00:30:50,747
Oh, nothing. Gone.
668
00:30:50,748 --> 00:30:53,834
- Jeremy, hi.
- Oh, hi, Verity.
669
00:30:54,708 --> 00:30:57,467
♪ Do you have a secret place ♪
670
00:30:57,468 --> 00:31:00,987
♪ Where you can go and meet some boys? ♪
671
00:31:00,988 --> 00:31:02,907
♪ Little people, tall... ♪
672
00:31:02,908 --> 00:31:04,387
I'm not doing that again.
673
00:31:04,388 --> 00:31:07,982
♪ Little people, tall and smiley. ♪
674
00:31:10,428 --> 00:31:14,707
♪ Up to my knees in a sea of voices ♪
675
00:31:14,708 --> 00:31:18,467
♪ Caught in a net with
a thousand choices ♪
676
00:31:18,468 --> 00:31:22,147
♪ I try to forget all the
rules in the night ♪
677
00:31:22,148 --> 00:31:27,107
♪ But the bells in my head,
they put up such a fight ♪
678
00:31:27,108 --> 00:31:30,547
♪ Anything can happen when
you're just like me ♪
679
00:31:30,548 --> 00:31:34,107
♪ I'm running carelessly
through a maze ♪
680
00:31:34,108 --> 00:31:36,907
♪ How unexpected ♪
681
00:31:36,908 --> 00:31:39,347
♪ I'm under lock and key ♪
682
00:31:39,348 --> 00:31:43,827
♪ In a world of relentless passion ♪
683
00:31:43,828 --> 00:31:47,467
♪ Anything can happen
when you're just like me ♪
684
00:31:47,468 --> 00:31:50,827
♪ I'm running carelessly
through a maze ♪
685
00:31:50,828 --> 00:31:53,628
♪ How unexpected. ♪
51673
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