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1
00:00:00,352 --> 00:00:03,444
Well, it's been 12 weeks.
Novelty worn off?
2
00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:08,184
Now, the choices that you make now
really matter.
3
00:00:08,185 --> 00:00:10,224
AUDREY: I kept arguing
for a natural birth
4
00:00:10,225 --> 00:00:12,104
because I'd read all this stuff and...
5
00:00:12,105 --> 00:00:14,984
and, uh, we nearly lost her, so...
6
00:00:14,985 --> 00:00:16,505
You're not number one anymore.
7
00:00:18,345 --> 00:00:20,144
- You buying?
- Drugs? No.
8
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:22,224
I've just got her to sleep.
She's a really light sleeper...
9
00:00:22,225 --> 00:00:23,984
- Not my problem.
- Uh, what's your cheapest drug?
10
00:00:23,985 --> 00:00:25,424
There's no point whingeing
11
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:27,864
- about what you've lost...
- (STEVIE CRIES)
12
00:00:27,865 --> 00:00:30,105
I don't really feel like me.
13
00:00:30,106 --> 00:00:31,587
I don't know, you want me to be some
14
00:00:31,588 --> 00:00:33,065
kind of on-call second mother thing.
15
00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:34,985
Yeah, 'grandmother' is the word
you're looking for.
16
00:00:34,986 --> 00:00:36,353
This is my home.
17
00:00:36,354 --> 00:00:38,505
Just like the one you live in.
Don't you forget that.
18
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,306
Let's look instead
at what you've gained.
19
00:00:41,906 --> 00:00:45,225
Our new mum brains are just getting
rid of shit that they don't need
20
00:00:45,226 --> 00:00:46,825
so before they start expanding
21
00:00:46,826 --> 00:00:49,185
with all the new learning
and multi-tasking.
22
00:00:49,186 --> 00:00:50,665
This is motherhood.
23
00:00:50,666 --> 00:00:52,825
I'm, like, seriously bad at this.
24
00:00:52,826 --> 00:00:54,506
You're all in this together.
25
00:00:57,626 --> 00:00:59,345
- Audrey, is it?
- Mm.
26
00:00:59,346 --> 00:01:00,466
You're late.
27
00:01:02,106 --> 00:01:03,386
Oh, my God.
28
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,225
- Whoo!
- (CHEERING)
29
00:01:06,226 --> 00:01:07,546
Yeah!
30
00:01:09,026 --> 00:01:14,106
♪ All the stars above bars
We're human, yeah, you and I... ♪
31
00:01:15,066 --> 00:01:16,465
Mother! Sucker!
32
00:01:16,466 --> 00:01:17,585
Mother! Sucker!
33
00:01:17,586 --> 00:01:20,585
- I've been offered a new job.
- Why didn't you... tell me that?
34
00:01:20,586 --> 00:01:22,305
Because it's in California.
35
00:01:22,306 --> 00:01:25,105
I'll be in California, you'll be
based at the head office, Australia.
36
00:01:25,106 --> 00:01:26,225
What?
37
00:01:26,226 --> 00:01:29,105
(WHISPERS) No baby. No baby.
No baby. No baby...
38
00:01:29,106 --> 00:01:31,225
(SIGHS) You will be happy to know
39
00:01:31,226 --> 00:01:33,905
we are only taking one child
to California.
40
00:01:33,906 --> 00:01:37,785
Adelaide. The job's actually in...
Adelaide.
41
00:01:37,786 --> 00:01:39,345
We go to Adela... (SIGHS)
42
00:01:39,346 --> 00:01:41,585
Good news about the minus sign, right?
43
00:01:41,586 --> 00:01:44,505
No, it's... It's a cross for no baby.
44
00:01:44,506 --> 00:01:46,545
- No, that's not a cross...
- Yes, it is.
45
00:01:46,546 --> 00:01:48,065
- That's a plus sign.
- That's a cro... No.
46
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:49,625
Oh, God!
47
00:01:49,626 --> 00:01:52,065
We'll have two under two in Adelaide!
48
00:01:52,066 --> 00:01:54,065
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY PLAYS)
49
00:01:54,066 --> 00:01:56,505
AUDREY: God, she couldn't have
just put something in the post?
50
00:01:56,506 --> 00:01:58,545
JEREMY: Yeah, we never send them stuff.
51
00:01:58,546 --> 00:02:00,865
(LAUGHS) Uh, no, you don't. I do.
52
00:02:00,866 --> 00:02:03,625
I probably spent more on their first
birthdays than I have on Stevie's.
53
00:02:03,626 --> 00:02:04,905
(PARTY HORN BLOWS)
54
00:02:04,906 --> 00:02:06,425
Dreadful.
55
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:07,905
What do you want to watch?
56
00:02:07,906 --> 00:02:10,105
Um, Crown?
57
00:02:10,106 --> 00:02:13,225
(LAUGHS) You do realise
they've changed Princess Margarets?
58
00:02:13,226 --> 00:02:14,825
Oh.
59
00:02:14,826 --> 00:02:16,385
Who is it now?
60
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,215
Helena Bonham-Carter.
61
00:02:20,426 --> 00:02:23,065
Still got good production... Do you
want to just watch the end of Glow?
62
00:02:23,066 --> 00:02:25,186
Thought so. OK.
63
00:02:27,026 --> 00:02:28,986
- Yep. Alright, ready?
- Mm-hm.
64
00:02:30,026 --> 00:02:33,746
One, two, three, play.
65
00:02:34,666 --> 00:02:37,785
Wait, wait, wait, it's still connecting.
66
00:02:37,786 --> 00:02:40,456
Wifi is shit in Adelaide.
67
00:02:40,457 --> 00:02:41,865
Just tether.
68
00:02:41,866 --> 00:02:44,334
Tethering. Hold on.
69
00:02:46,386 --> 00:02:49,705
♪ Anything can happen
when you're just like me
70
00:02:49,706 --> 00:02:53,465
♪ I'm running carelessly through a maze
71
00:02:53,466 --> 00:02:55,985
♪ How unexpected
72
00:02:55,986 --> 00:02:59,705
♪ I'm under lock and key in a world
73
00:02:59,706 --> 00:03:01,866
OK, and this goes on...
74
00:03:03,066 --> 00:03:04,985
♪ Anything can happen
75
00:03:04,986 --> 00:03:06,945
Oh, that goes on there, then. Does it?
76
00:03:06,946 --> 00:03:09,705
♪ I'm running carelessly through a maze
77
00:03:09,706 --> 00:03:11,785
What? Oh...
78
00:03:11,786 --> 00:03:13,385
Well, how does that...?
79
00:03:13,386 --> 00:03:14,745
♪ I'm under lock and key... ♪
80
00:03:14,746 --> 00:03:16,626
How do I plug...? Eh...?
81
00:03:25,066 --> 00:03:26,426
(SIGHS)
82
00:03:28,426 --> 00:03:30,185
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
83
00:03:30,186 --> 00:03:32,305
MAN: (ON COMPUTER) My name's Matt
and I'm gonna show you
84
00:03:32,306 --> 00:03:34,305
how to brew a perfect coffee using...
85
00:03:34,306 --> 00:03:36,105
VERITY: Hello, Stevie, darling.
86
00:03:36,106 --> 00:03:38,465
- Ooh, good night?
- First, take the...
87
00:03:38,466 --> 00:03:40,545
- No...
- ...give it a clean...
88
00:03:40,546 --> 00:03:43,625
- Oh, thanks, Mum.
- ...attach the funnel to the end...
89
00:03:43,626 --> 00:03:46,025
You need an engineering degree
to work this thing out,
90
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,545
which Jeremy has,
but he's not here, is he?
91
00:03:48,546 --> 00:03:50,705
Audrey, when are you joining him?
92
00:03:50,706 --> 00:03:53,025
Because I want to finish
the painting before I move back in
93
00:03:53,026 --> 00:03:55,705
and, uh, did you see the job
they did in my office?
94
00:03:55,706 --> 00:03:58,265
Yeah, looks amazing. But can we just
let him get through probation?
95
00:03:58,266 --> 00:04:00,305
Which he may not.
He's not instantly likeable.
96
00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:01,466
Have a sip.
97
00:04:08,186 --> 00:04:09,865
He is likeable, isn't he?
98
00:04:09,866 --> 00:04:11,306
- Very.
- Yeah.
99
00:04:13,066 --> 00:04:15,545
Oh, do these look handmade?
100
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:18,105
- As if I could have made them?
- I guess so. Why? What on earth...
101
00:04:18,106 --> 00:04:20,345
Well, they'll hang off a stick
or a branch or something.
102
00:04:20,346 --> 00:04:23,625
And these are plastic, but do
you reckon they pass for bamboo?
103
00:04:23,626 --> 00:04:24,865
No.
104
00:04:24,866 --> 00:04:27,225
Maybe I shouldn't use plastic at all.
Everyone's so anti.
105
00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:28,905
I mean, I am too.
106
00:04:28,906 --> 00:04:31,625
Sophie had real cutlery at hers.
At the park.
107
00:04:31,626 --> 00:04:33,545
Audrey, darling, what's happened to you?
108
00:04:33,546 --> 00:04:34,697
When you turned one,
109
00:04:34,698 --> 00:04:36,745
all we did was wrap up a
present you already owned.
110
00:04:36,746 --> 00:04:39,265
I mean, they don't know
what's going on at this age.
111
00:04:39,266 --> 00:04:41,185
But they see the photos
when they're older.
112
00:04:41,186 --> 00:04:43,185
Or note the absence of them.
113
00:04:43,186 --> 00:04:45,428
Sophie had a unicorn at hers.
114
00:04:46,146 --> 00:04:48,585
I mean, it was a pony with a horn,
but it was very believable.
115
00:04:48,586 --> 00:04:51,306
Sounds like Sophie
wasn't loved enough as a child.
116
00:04:52,786 --> 00:04:55,460
You still OK to look after Stevie
this afternoon?
117
00:04:56,186 --> 00:04:58,425
- What?
- I'm getting my hair done, remember?
118
00:04:58,426 --> 00:05:00,425
Sophie had a full makeover for hers.
119
00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:02,065
Yeah, g-good idea, yes, good.
120
00:05:02,066 --> 00:05:03,586
Lovely surprise for Jeremy.
121
00:05:05,546 --> 00:05:07,305
OK.
122
00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:08,865
What are we going to do with this?
123
00:05:08,866 --> 00:05:11,865
Just a trim, thanks. And a blow dry.
124
00:05:11,866 --> 00:05:13,985
Out tonight? Big weekend?
125
00:05:13,986 --> 00:05:15,505
Uh, I've got a party tomorrow.
126
00:05:15,506 --> 00:05:19,185
So actually a bit of volume would be
good, it gets quite flat on top.
127
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,466
Mm. You got it, babe.
128
00:05:26,586 --> 00:05:29,985
OK, so with the trim, the styling
and the conditioning treatment,
129
00:05:29,986 --> 00:05:32,105
that comes to...
130
00:05:32,106 --> 00:05:33,385
$280.
131
00:05:33,386 --> 00:05:36,145
Does it? OK, great, yeah. No problem.
132
00:05:36,146 --> 00:05:37,906
Thank you.
133
00:05:39,186 --> 00:05:42,385
- Do you love it? It looks amazing.
- Yeah. Yeah, it's brilliant.
134
00:05:42,386 --> 00:05:44,186
Thank you so much.
135
00:05:47,506 --> 00:05:48,666
Gosh...
136
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:51,785
You look 10 years older.
137
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,505
Thank you.
138
00:05:53,506 --> 00:05:55,225
I think I preferred it before.
139
00:05:55,226 --> 00:05:56,985
Well, obviously.
140
00:05:56,986 --> 00:05:59,625
Why didn't you say something?
141
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:00,825
I did!
142
00:06:00,826 --> 00:06:02,985
When she asked if I liked it,
I did a high-pitched yes.
143
00:06:02,986 --> 00:06:04,985
Everyone knows that's code for no.
144
00:06:04,986 --> 00:06:06,905
No, don't touch it! There's no movement!
145
00:06:06,906 --> 00:06:08,665
Yeah, right. Very firm.
146
00:06:08,666 --> 00:06:11,546
Stay away from the candles tomorrow.
That could go up.
147
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:17,625
Evening, folks. It's your captain here.
148
00:06:17,626 --> 00:06:20,185
Flying time to Sydney this evening
will be just under two hours.
149
00:06:20,186 --> 00:06:21,665
- Oh.
- (LAUGHS) (YELLS)
150
00:06:21,666 --> 00:06:23,225
Oh, wow.
151
00:06:23,226 --> 00:06:25,426
Um, would you like that back?
152
00:06:27,146 --> 00:06:28,425
There you go, mate.
153
00:06:28,426 --> 00:06:31,425
- Sorry, is she OK?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a beauty.
154
00:06:31,426 --> 00:06:34,705
Yeah, I'm flying back for
my little one's first birthday.
155
00:06:34,706 --> 00:06:36,145
Hi! Hello.
156
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,745
- Yes.
- Oh, sweet.
157
00:06:37,746 --> 00:06:39,585
- How long you been away?
- Couple of weeks.
158
00:06:39,586 --> 00:06:41,625
Yeah, down in Adelaide for work,
so back and forth.
159
00:06:41,626 --> 00:06:44,626
- Ah!
- (GASPS) Yep, that's great. Hello.
160
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:48,545
- Right.
- (CHATTERS)
161
00:06:48,546 --> 00:06:51,265
- Sorry, what's your name?
- Sorry? Um, Jeremy.
162
00:06:51,266 --> 00:06:53,345
Oh, Jeremy, this is Luna.
163
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:55,465
- Is that right? Hello, Luna.
- Say hello.
164
00:06:55,466 --> 00:06:56,985
That's a cool name.
165
00:06:56,986 --> 00:07:00,305
Yeah. This way, hello. "Hello".
166
00:07:00,306 --> 00:07:02,426
- (BABBLES)
- Oh, he's sleeping.
167
00:07:03,266 --> 00:07:04,465
Oh!
168
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:06,105
Wow, that's nice. (GIGGLES)
169
00:07:06,106 --> 00:07:09,145
A little bit of yoghurt in the -
that's yours - in the face.
170
00:07:09,146 --> 00:07:10,905
Yes. Is he hungry?
171
00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:13,985
Say thank you. Thank you, friend.
Thank you.
172
00:07:13,986 --> 00:07:15,265
Wake up!
173
00:07:15,266 --> 00:07:18,025
Oh, don't do that, Luna! Alright?
174
00:07:18,026 --> 00:07:20,585
OK, can you not talk to my child
like that?
175
00:07:20,586 --> 00:07:22,386
(CRIES)
176
00:07:28,546 --> 00:07:30,385
(DOOR CLOSES)
177
00:07:30,386 --> 00:07:32,865
Oh, finally.
178
00:07:32,866 --> 00:07:34,905
You'll have to get ice
in the morning now
179
00:07:34,906 --> 00:07:36,705
before you borrow Matt's mower
and do the yard.
180
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,105
Hello to you too.
181
00:07:38,106 --> 00:07:40,425
How you doing? You OK? Not too tired?
182
00:07:40,426 --> 00:07:43,025
Huh? Oh, sorry. I'm fine.
183
00:07:43,026 --> 00:07:45,865
Hi. Yeah, I'm just flat out.
184
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,825
- I missed you guys this week.
- (SIGHS)
185
00:07:48,826 --> 00:07:50,465
Nup, nothing.
186
00:07:50,466 --> 00:07:53,265
Sorry. We missed you. We miss you.
We love you. Blah, blah.
187
00:07:53,266 --> 00:07:54,745
How was the flight? You eaten?
188
00:07:54,746 --> 00:07:56,425
Yeah. I ate in the lounge.
189
00:07:56,426 --> 00:07:58,946
- Oh, lucky you. I had cake batter.
- Yum!
190
00:08:00,586 --> 00:08:03,145
Looks incredible, Aud.
How many are coming?
191
00:08:03,146 --> 00:08:06,585
I don't know. No-one RSVPs
these days. It's an outrage.
192
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:10,145
Right, well, I'm gonna go
and kiss our one-year-old. Shit!
193
00:08:10,146 --> 00:08:12,225
- Don't wake her.
- I won't. I'll just look at her
194
00:08:12,226 --> 00:08:14,266
- and then I'm all yours.
- OK.
195
00:08:15,266 --> 00:08:17,025
Chocolate crackles.
196
00:08:17,026 --> 00:08:19,544
- Blast from the past.
- (LAUGHS)
197
00:08:21,226 --> 00:08:23,545
Can one-year-olds
eat chocolate crackles?
198
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:26,545
Well, they're for
the big kids and the adults.
199
00:08:26,546 --> 00:08:27,826
It's fun.
200
00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:31,745
- What's wrong? They're sugar free.
- Yes.
201
00:08:31,746 --> 00:08:34,785
- I used rice syrup instead.
- Is rice a sweetener?
202
00:08:34,786 --> 00:08:37,945
- Shit. Are they alright?
- Yeah, no, they're yummy.
203
00:08:37,946 --> 00:08:40,626
Did you use rice in all of the things?
204
00:08:42,026 --> 00:08:43,625
OK, no, good. Well, that's healthy.
205
00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:45,865
And you get a-a real kick
with the cocoa.
206
00:08:45,866 --> 00:08:48,225
It's, um... It's like an after taste.
207
00:08:48,226 --> 00:08:49,466
Might just...
208
00:08:51,626 --> 00:08:53,266
I like your hair.
209
00:09:04,786 --> 00:09:07,346
- (PHONE RINGS) (WHISPERS)
- Shit.
210
00:09:08,546 --> 00:09:12,065
- (STEVIE MURMURS)
- Fuck. Sorry, baby. Sorry.
211
00:09:12,066 --> 00:09:14,025
- (INCOMING MESSAGE DING)
- Oh!
212
00:09:14,026 --> 00:09:15,666
(CRIES)
213
00:09:21,306 --> 00:09:23,265
How's this? This OK?
214
00:09:23,266 --> 00:09:24,425
More, you need heaps more.
215
00:09:24,426 --> 00:09:26,185
But you've got to mix it through
thoroughly...
216
00:09:26,186 --> 00:09:27,426
Just leave it. I'll do it.
217
00:09:28,586 --> 00:09:29,917
Shall we...
218
00:09:30,706 --> 00:09:33,705
just finish this in the morning?
It's one o'clock.
219
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,905
I can't! I've got to create this!
220
00:09:35,906 --> 00:09:38,665
Why don't we just ice it
and cover it in Smarties?
221
00:09:38,666 --> 00:09:41,145
Smarties? No. Barb did that.
That's not creative.
222
00:09:41,146 --> 00:09:42,905
(CRIES)
223
00:09:42,906 --> 00:09:44,825
- Oh. I'll go.
- Oh, jeez.
224
00:09:44,826 --> 00:09:47,345
- Bottle?
- No, just put her in with you.
225
00:09:47,346 --> 00:09:48,825
We co-sleeping again?
226
00:09:48,826 --> 00:09:51,105
- After all the...
- No.
227
00:09:51,106 --> 00:09:52,865
But it's morning.
228
00:09:52,866 --> 00:09:54,665
You wanna spend the next few hours
cot training?
229
00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:56,185
Fuck, no!
230
00:09:56,186 --> 00:09:58,626
- Unless you want me to?
- Just go.
231
00:10:01,786 --> 00:10:03,906
It's gonna be incredible, Aud.
232
00:10:15,346 --> 00:10:16,946
Thank you.
233
00:10:36,786 --> 00:10:38,865
And here is one more.
234
00:10:38,866 --> 00:10:40,305
What's this?
235
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,785
It's a picture book of Adelaide
for when you guys finally join me.
236
00:10:43,786 --> 00:10:46,625
Oh, wow!
237
00:10:46,626 --> 00:10:48,585
Look at that!
238
00:10:48,586 --> 00:10:50,545
You and Mummy are gonna love it there.
239
00:10:50,546 --> 00:10:53,785
So many churches!
No wonder Daddy likes it.
240
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:55,185
It's not just churches,
241
00:10:55,186 --> 00:10:58,505
there's the Adelaide Oval,
Rundle Mall, Central Market,
242
00:10:58,506 --> 00:11:00,705
State Library, Mount Lofty.
243
00:11:00,706 --> 00:11:04,185
Oh, thanks, Daddy! (CHUCKLES)
244
00:11:04,186 --> 00:11:07,025
Now go and get the ice. We've got to
move. We've got so much to do.
245
00:11:07,026 --> 00:11:08,745
The events guys are gonna be here soon.
246
00:11:08,746 --> 00:11:11,746
- Huh?
- I had to hire matching chairs!
247
00:11:12,946 --> 00:11:14,066
Quick!
248
00:11:15,106 --> 00:11:17,305
OK, so, um, Sophie and Ziggy have Ziggy.
249
00:11:17,306 --> 00:11:18,306
Mm.
250
00:11:18,307 --> 00:11:20,825
Barb and Neale have Kate,
and the twins...
251
00:11:20,826 --> 00:11:24,065
Can't remember their names.
Ah, Martha has Teddy.
252
00:11:24,066 --> 00:11:26,105
And she's a lesbian.
253
00:11:26,106 --> 00:11:28,185
Funny how you remember that.
254
00:11:28,186 --> 00:11:32,065
- Ester and Ruben have Eva...
- Oh, hang on, are they coming?
255
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:34,345
I couldn't very well not invite them,
could I?
256
00:11:34,346 --> 00:11:35,945
Oh, really?
257
00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,385
I couldn't.
258
00:11:37,386 --> 00:11:40,465
Now, go upstairs and finish the
toilet and light the scented candle.
259
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:43,385
- And what is she wearing?
- Uh, Mum bought it.
260
00:11:43,386 --> 00:11:45,225
She can't wear that.
She looks like a Kardashian.
261
00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:47,797
Put her in her new overalls
and take off the fleece.
262
00:11:48,786 --> 00:11:50,225
- Yeah, good.
- Oh, and Jeremy.
263
00:11:50,226 --> 00:11:51,625
- Yep?
- Make sure I'm in the shower
264
00:11:51,626 --> 00:11:54,025
at least 10 minutes before people
are due. I need to wash this out.
265
00:11:54,026 --> 00:11:55,905
Copy that.
266
00:11:55,906 --> 00:11:58,505
BARB: Stop it! Get away from...!
267
00:11:58,506 --> 00:12:00,625
- Hello!
- Oh, hi.
268
00:12:00,626 --> 00:12:02,585
10am. Wow!
269
00:12:02,586 --> 00:12:05,665
Why would you make it at 10:00?
No-one does anything before 10:00.
270
00:12:05,666 --> 00:12:07,265
Oh, sorry.
271
00:12:07,266 --> 00:12:08,665
Did you, um, get your hair done?
272
00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:11,025
Oh, yes, a blow wave, tres chic.
273
00:12:11,026 --> 00:12:12,545
(MOUTHS)
274
00:12:12,546 --> 00:12:15,065
- Oh, there you are.
- Oh, Barb, I said no presents.
275
00:12:15,066 --> 00:12:16,865
It's alright.
Just don't put batteries in it.
276
00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:17,985
Thanks for inviting us.
277
00:12:17,986 --> 00:12:19,705
The more kids you have,
the less invites you get.
278
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,785
It's a little linen dress.
Sorry, couldn't help myself.
279
00:12:21,786 --> 00:12:22,786
Oh, wow.
280
00:12:22,787 --> 00:12:24,545
Is there somewhere we could just
set this up?
281
00:12:24,546 --> 00:12:27,785
Sorry, 10am is Ziggy Jr's nap time.
Right? It's everyone's nap time.
282
00:12:27,786 --> 00:12:29,905
- Is that alright?
- Don't worry about it. Rookie error.
283
00:12:29,906 --> 00:12:32,065
Jeremy will take you in.
284
00:12:32,066 --> 00:12:33,705
- OK, great.
- Love the hair.
285
00:12:33,706 --> 00:12:35,345
- Thank you.
- Barb, can you take...?
286
00:12:35,346 --> 00:12:37,465
Yeah, sure. Hello, baby! Rrrrr.
287
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:40,305
- I'm just gonna get dressed.
- So much height, isn't there?
288
00:12:40,306 --> 00:12:41,786
(LAUGHS)
289
00:12:43,866 --> 00:12:45,785
- Did you get everyone a drink?
- No.
290
00:12:45,786 --> 00:12:47,665
No, can I make anyone a coffee?
291
00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:50,065
Oh, no, not for me, thanks.
Maybe a sparkling?
292
00:12:50,066 --> 00:12:51,985
Oh, yeah, me too.
Where are the adult drinks?
293
00:12:51,986 --> 00:12:54,385
Oh, no, water. I meant... water.
294
00:12:54,386 --> 00:12:56,825
- Oh, I didn't.
- They're there. I'll...
295
00:12:56,826 --> 00:12:58,985
- Great spread.
- Oh, thanks.
296
00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:01,185
I'm a bit of a foodie.
You guys watch MasterChef?
297
00:13:01,186 --> 00:13:03,145
- Mm-hm.
- No, don't.
298
00:13:03,146 --> 00:13:04,825
You want some brie?
299
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,825
- Oh, that's d'Affinois.
- You want d'Affinois?
300
00:13:06,826 --> 00:13:09,425
There are some chocolate crackles
here, kids.
301
00:13:09,426 --> 00:13:10,905
- (POP!)
- Grab one of them.
302
00:13:10,906 --> 00:13:12,948
Happy birthday.
303
00:13:13,586 --> 00:13:15,305
(SPLUTTERS) What's wrong?
304
00:13:15,306 --> 00:13:16,425
- Yuck.
- What's wrong with it?
305
00:13:16,426 --> 00:13:18,745
Oh, everything's sugar free,
except the lollies on the cake.
306
00:13:18,746 --> 00:13:19,945
So they're good for them.
307
00:13:19,946 --> 00:13:22,823
Oh, yeah, no, our kids don't eat
anything without sugar.
308
00:13:23,866 --> 00:13:25,745
Ziggy Jr is asleep.
309
00:13:25,746 --> 00:13:27,665
Oh, great. Oh, no thank you.
310
00:13:27,666 --> 00:13:29,156
And he's watching his cholesterol.
311
00:13:29,157 --> 00:13:31,025
Yeah, I only eat cheese in France.
312
00:13:31,026 --> 00:13:32,745
Oh, it is French. It's d'Affinois.
313
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:35,385
No, French cheese is non-pasteurised,
314
00:13:35,386 --> 00:13:38,425
that's what gives it that kind of...
that kick.
315
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,985
- My ex-wife was French...
- He's crying. Ziggy's crying.
316
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,146
Shit.
317
00:13:44,346 --> 00:13:46,585
Well, these decorations are gorgeous!
318
00:13:46,586 --> 00:13:48,905
- Oh.
- (LAUGHS) Did you do them yourself?
319
00:13:48,906 --> 00:13:51,385
- Mm-hm.
- I can tell. Thank you.
320
00:13:51,386 --> 00:13:53,425
- Jeremy, do you have the camera?
- Ah, yes, just one sec.
321
00:13:53,426 --> 00:13:55,145
- And can you pour the drinks?
- Yes, my darling.
322
00:13:55,146 --> 00:13:57,145
- And unstack the chairs.
- On to it, my darling. I'll...
323
00:13:57,146 --> 00:13:59,585
- Where's Stevie?
- I put her down, it's her nap time.
324
00:13:59,586 --> 00:14:02,305
- It's her birthday party!
- Yeah.
325
00:14:02,306 --> 00:14:04,945
BARB: Jakey, get your fingers
out of there!
326
00:14:04,946 --> 00:14:07,265
- Go and play.
- Just take that. Thank you.
327
00:14:07,266 --> 00:14:08,546
(DOORBELL RINGS)
328
00:14:09,626 --> 00:14:13,305
- Hi.
- Oh, happy birthday, darling.
329
00:14:13,306 --> 00:14:15,905
Got a kiss for Bella Nonna?
330
00:14:15,906 --> 00:14:18,145
Hey, wow! New haircut?
331
00:14:18,146 --> 00:14:19,745
Yep. (LAUGHS)
332
00:14:19,746 --> 00:14:22,305
Oh, that's divine.
333
00:14:22,306 --> 00:14:24,225
I know, I'd wear it.
334
00:14:24,226 --> 00:14:26,505
The invitation said no presents.
335
00:14:26,506 --> 00:14:29,862
Happy birthday, Stevie Nicks,
you don't look a day over 11 months.
336
00:14:33,505 --> 00:14:36,808
- So what'd you get her?
- Darling, it said "No presents."
337
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:38,325
(CRIES)
338
00:14:39,586 --> 00:14:42,345
Not from you! And I didn't mean it.
339
00:14:42,346 --> 00:14:44,745
I was just trying to seem
non-materialistic and cool.
340
00:14:44,746 --> 00:14:46,865
Look what Carol got her.
Plus a lovely outfit.
341
00:14:46,866 --> 00:14:48,985
If you're trying to set up some sort
of rivalry between us,
342
00:14:48,986 --> 00:14:51,145
it won't work. Are they here, are they?
343
00:14:51,146 --> 00:14:53,385
No, I told you - they've both
just had their cataracts done.
344
00:14:53,386 --> 00:14:55,385
They're completely blind right now.
Evidently.
345
00:14:55,386 --> 00:14:57,425
Gosh, this has held. Don't touch it.
346
00:14:57,426 --> 00:14:59,385
It'll hold till her 21st at this rate.
347
00:14:59,386 --> 00:15:01,585
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Oh, I have to take this.
348
00:15:01,586 --> 00:15:03,345
Courtney's having an emotional affair.
349
00:15:03,346 --> 00:15:05,185
OK, great. Well, we're outside.
350
00:15:05,186 --> 00:15:06,585
(GRIZZLES)
351
00:15:06,586 --> 00:15:08,345
Yeah, your grandma got you nothing.
352
00:15:08,346 --> 00:15:09,839
I would be upset too.
353
00:15:10,586 --> 00:15:13,146
Hey. Hi, Ester.
354
00:15:14,266 --> 00:15:15,625
Hi.
355
00:15:15,626 --> 00:15:17,185
- Ruben.
- Hey, mate.
356
00:15:17,186 --> 00:15:19,225
And... Ova?
357
00:15:19,226 --> 00:15:20,985
- Eva.
- Eva. Knew it was a vowel.
358
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,585
- Yep.
- (CHUCKLES) Oh.
359
00:15:22,586 --> 00:15:24,265
Oh... (CLEARS THROAT)
360
00:15:24,266 --> 00:15:25,945
Thanks for the invite. Appreciate it.
361
00:15:25,946 --> 00:15:27,985
Oh, mate, it's water under the bridge.
362
00:15:27,986 --> 00:15:29,305
Yeah.
363
00:15:29,306 --> 00:15:30,666
So...
364
00:15:31,586 --> 00:15:34,025
how's the City of Churches?
Enjoying the commute?
365
00:15:34,026 --> 00:15:36,585
- Pros and cons.
- Quite a few pros.
366
00:15:36,586 --> 00:15:39,425
Uninterrupted sleep,
serviced apartment, business lounge.
367
00:15:39,426 --> 00:15:41,665
- What's not to love?
- Adelaide. (CHUCKLES)
368
00:15:41,666 --> 00:15:44,025
I can say that, I was born there. So...
369
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:47,025
- I mean, I left when I was four.
- Yeah? Been there recently?
370
00:15:47,026 --> 00:15:50,425
It's actually like
a more intimate Sydney these days.
371
00:15:50,426 --> 00:15:52,025
Is it?
372
00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:53,385
DAVE: Hello?
373
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:56,606
- Hi.
- Dave, hi. (LAUGHS)
374
00:15:57,026 --> 00:15:58,945
Great. Uh, where's Martha?
375
00:15:58,946 --> 00:16:01,305
- Oh, she not here yet?
- No.
376
00:16:01,306 --> 00:16:03,785
Oh, I was just dropping Teddy off.
Hi, everyone.
377
00:16:03,786 --> 00:16:06,865
Well, you should stay, definitely
stay. I told her to invite you.
378
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:09,425
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.
- Happy birthday, Stevie.
379
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,785
Happy birthday.
380
00:16:10,786 --> 00:16:13,105
We've just been to swimming lessons.
381
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,665
God, I've got to enrol her.
I keep forgetting they can't swim.
382
00:16:15,666 --> 00:16:17,513
Do you always go with him?
383
00:16:17,514 --> 00:16:19,665
Yeah, Martha doesn't
like getting her hair wet.
384
00:16:19,666 --> 00:16:22,505
You know, all the chlorine
and she's got so much hair,
385
00:16:22,506 --> 00:16:23,985
it just takes so long to dry.
386
00:16:23,986 --> 00:16:27,249
But, hey, um, your hair's looking good.
387
00:16:28,026 --> 00:16:29,986
Thank you. Yeah, come on in.
388
00:16:31,346 --> 00:16:33,825
JEREMY: Uh-uh-uh, plenty
of Honey Joys and things.
389
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,305
Come on, rack off.
390
00:16:35,306 --> 00:16:37,226
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
391
00:16:39,986 --> 00:16:41,865
- Hey, George.
- That's for you.
392
00:16:41,866 --> 00:16:43,666
Eggs. Look at the red eggs!
393
00:16:45,506 --> 00:16:47,105
Oh.
394
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:49,825
Ruben! She got her a present.
395
00:16:49,826 --> 00:16:52,505
MARTHA: I don't know, it does feel nice
396
00:16:52,506 --> 00:16:54,785
feeling just vaguely sexual again.
397
00:16:54,786 --> 00:16:58,185
All of a sudden I've just started
feeling attracted to everyone.
398
00:16:58,186 --> 00:17:00,225
- Everyone?
- Do you not have a type?
399
00:17:00,226 --> 00:17:01,945
Oh, God, I do. Blondes.
400
00:17:01,946 --> 00:17:03,425
(BOTH LAUGH)
401
00:17:03,426 --> 00:17:05,705
- I think I prefer brunettes.
- Oh.
402
00:17:05,706 --> 00:17:07,680
Yeah, definitely.
403
00:17:08,546 --> 00:17:10,505
I'm not actually a natural blonde.
404
00:17:10,506 --> 00:17:11,705
What? Really?
405
00:17:11,706 --> 00:17:14,505
Yeah. No, look at my eyebrows. See.
406
00:17:14,506 --> 00:17:17,265
But I'm feeling vaguely sexual
again too actually.
407
00:17:17,266 --> 00:17:21,185
For a while, I felt nothing, but now
I'm actually, like, hyper-sexual.
408
00:17:21,186 --> 00:17:23,265
He... Ziggy can't keep up.
409
00:17:23,266 --> 00:17:25,425
Just get a good vibrator.
410
00:17:25,426 --> 00:17:27,585
The Tennis Coach is really good.
411
00:17:27,586 --> 00:17:30,625
It's artificial intelligence,
it responds to your body.
412
00:17:30,626 --> 00:17:33,265
(LAUGHS)
Sorry, I don't know why I laughed.
413
00:17:33,266 --> 00:17:34,625
That sounds amazing.
414
00:17:34,626 --> 00:17:36,865
Ziggy would feel a bit confronted
with a sex toy,
415
00:17:36,866 --> 00:17:38,305
especially a smart one.
416
00:17:38,306 --> 00:17:41,465
Oh, you don't have to deal
with male ego. Lucky duck.
417
00:17:41,466 --> 00:17:43,305
Oh, two women, bliss!
418
00:17:43,306 --> 00:17:45,345
Imagine how tidy their homes are.
419
00:17:45,346 --> 00:17:48,265
- Well, mine's not, exactly.
- Yeah and your children are happier.
420
00:17:48,266 --> 00:17:50,625
I read a study that said
that children of lesbians
421
00:17:50,626 --> 00:17:51,985
are more well-adjusted.
422
00:17:51,986 --> 00:17:53,425
Really? Yeah.
423
00:17:53,426 --> 00:17:54,705
Ruben?
424
00:17:54,706 --> 00:17:55,825
- It's good to know.
- Lucky.
425
00:17:55,826 --> 00:17:56,826
Wow.
426
00:17:56,827 --> 00:17:58,465
- What are you guys talking about?
- Lesbians.
427
00:17:58,466 --> 00:18:00,065
Uh, yeah.
428
00:18:00,066 --> 00:18:02,105
Actually, no,
it's one of my favourite shows,
429
00:18:02,106 --> 00:18:03,785
that old show, The I Word.
430
00:18:03,786 --> 00:18:05,585
- That's a good show.
- Yeah.
431
00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:07,065
That was a good show.
432
00:18:07,066 --> 00:18:09,105
Did he not settle upstairs?
433
00:18:09,106 --> 00:18:10,585
No, it's too hot.
434
00:18:10,586 --> 00:18:13,265
It's like... There's no air
conditioning, it's boiling up there.
435
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,305
- But I changed his nappy.
- Thank you, honey.
436
00:18:15,306 --> 00:18:17,865
Do you realise what you just did?
437
00:18:17,866 --> 00:18:19,625
Um, just...
438
00:18:19,626 --> 00:18:22,681
Why would you thank him?
Does he thank you?
439
00:18:23,466 --> 00:18:26,145
See that's the patriarchy in
all its glory, like right there.
440
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:28,265
How are we supposed to fight
for equality
441
00:18:28,266 --> 00:18:29,705
and close the gender pay gap
442
00:18:29,706 --> 00:18:32,505
if we don't even insist on
an equitable division of labour
443
00:18:32,506 --> 00:18:33,905
at home?
444
00:18:33,906 --> 00:18:36,029
Everything starts at home.
445
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:39,306
Excellent point.
446
00:18:40,626 --> 00:18:43,506
Chocolate crackle, anyone?
They're sugar-free.
447
00:18:45,026 --> 00:18:47,665
I'm alright with my honey joy.
448
00:18:47,666 --> 00:18:50,065
What did you use in
the chocolate crackles?
449
00:18:50,066 --> 00:18:51,465
Ah, rice syrup.
450
00:18:51,466 --> 00:18:52,825
- Oh.
- Fantastic alternative.
451
00:18:52,826 --> 00:18:55,585
- You're alright, aren't you, babe?
- What about this one?
452
00:18:55,586 --> 00:18:58,786
So this is the entertainment
for the party?
453
00:19:00,266 --> 00:19:01,545
Yeah.
454
00:19:01,546 --> 00:19:02,905
Right.
455
00:19:02,906 --> 00:19:04,505
Rah!
456
00:19:04,506 --> 00:19:06,426
(CHILDREN YELL)
457
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,226
Ooh, mama.
458
00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,745
(MUTTERS) ...weird.
459
00:19:13,746 --> 00:19:15,185
Hi! Hi.
460
00:19:15,186 --> 00:19:18,026
- Sorry we're late. We slept till 10.
- Doesn't matter.
461
00:19:18,906 --> 00:19:20,865
- What did you do to your hair?
- You don't like it?
462
00:19:20,866 --> 00:19:22,785
Everyone else loves it.
Unless they're lying.
463
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:25,265
- Yes, they're lying. You look like...
- Margaret Thatcher.
464
00:19:25,266 --> 00:19:28,985
No, like one of the royals,
like Princess Anne.
465
00:19:28,986 --> 00:19:30,945
- God.
- She's the worst royal.
466
00:19:30,946 --> 00:19:32,865
Yeah, it's the powerful volume.
467
00:19:32,866 --> 00:19:35,225
- It's like a helmet.
- Alright, but...
468
00:19:35,226 --> 00:19:38,345
Ugh, hangover. Why is everyone so loud?
469
00:19:38,346 --> 00:19:40,105
Can you tell those kids to quieten down?
470
00:19:40,106 --> 00:19:41,745
No, you can't do that.
That's frowned upon.
471
00:19:41,746 --> 00:19:43,705
- CHILD: I had it!
- You can tell those ones.
472
00:19:43,706 --> 00:19:44,945
Give me that egg! Mine!
473
00:19:44,946 --> 00:19:48,305
Yep. And remind me to get condoms
on the way home.
474
00:19:48,306 --> 00:19:50,025
Oh, I cannot go straight to honey joys.
475
00:19:50,026 --> 00:19:52,225
What? Corn Flakes, Rice Bubbles,
it's essentially breakfast.
476
00:19:52,226 --> 00:19:54,660
- Champers?
- Yeah, sure.
477
00:20:05,186 --> 00:20:06,825
What?
478
00:20:06,826 --> 00:20:09,505
Nothing. It's just...
you're like siblings.
479
00:20:09,506 --> 00:20:11,265
Yeah, siblings who fuck.
480
00:20:11,266 --> 00:20:13,905
How was your reunion sex? Huh?
481
00:20:13,906 --> 00:20:16,546
- How was your reunion sex?
- Hey?
482
00:20:22,746 --> 00:20:25,466
BARB: Get out of it, you two.
Audrey's watching!
483
00:20:34,986 --> 00:20:37,105
Um, Stevie's walking, isn't she?
484
00:20:37,106 --> 00:20:39,585
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Oh, any day now.
485
00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:41,425
No, she's a bum crawler, love.
486
00:20:41,426 --> 00:20:43,105
She won't be up for months.
487
00:20:43,106 --> 00:20:45,945
Oh, yeah. That would explain the
lack of baby-proofing everywhere.
488
00:20:45,946 --> 00:20:46,985
But that's a relief.
489
00:20:46,986 --> 00:20:49,905
Ziggy Jr took two steps on Tuesday
and then has taken nothing since.
490
00:20:49,906 --> 00:20:51,625
I'm gonna ask Ambrose about it
next week.
491
00:20:51,626 --> 00:20:53,545
Have you guys booked
your one-year check-ins yet?
492
00:20:53,546 --> 00:20:56,265
- Uh, no.
- Do we have to go? It's like parole.
493
00:20:56,266 --> 00:20:59,425
I can't wait. I've filled
an entire notebook with questions.
494
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,505
- Would you like a... Have a...
- Oh, thank you.
495
00:21:01,506 --> 00:21:02,585
You're welcome.
496
00:21:02,586 --> 00:21:04,225
OK, you two...
497
00:21:04,226 --> 00:21:06,025
(PETE AND EMMA MOAN) ...come here.
498
00:21:06,026 --> 00:21:07,825
Show's over.
Come on. You've seen enough.
499
00:21:07,826 --> 00:21:10,105
Let's go. Get the ball. Find the ball.
500
00:21:10,106 --> 00:21:12,425
(INDISTINCT CHATTER, CHILDREN SHOUT)
501
00:21:12,426 --> 00:21:14,305
- GEORGIA: Ooh, savoury, great.
- Yes.
502
00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:16,665
- Thanks.
- Yum. How good's the food? Georgia?
503
00:21:16,666 --> 00:21:19,105
- Are you talking about Adelaide again?
- Yeah.
504
00:21:19,106 --> 00:21:21,026
- I was talking about festival time.
- Come on.
505
00:21:21,866 --> 00:21:23,345
RUBEN: It's called Multitasker.
506
00:21:23,346 --> 00:21:25,105
So it's a little bit like Airtasker,
507
00:21:25,106 --> 00:21:26,585
but it's like me that does everything.
508
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:30,025
So taxes, financial plans,
IT problems, gutters...
509
00:21:30,026 --> 00:21:32,185
- Yeah, right.
- ...flat pack furnishings,
510
00:21:32,186 --> 00:21:33,985
you know, garbage removal...
511
00:21:33,986 --> 00:21:35,985
I like it. I have some friends
who would be into that.
512
00:21:35,986 --> 00:21:38,625
Yes, get in on that market.
A lot of IT work.
513
00:21:38,626 --> 00:21:41,225
Not all lesbians
are shit with technology.
514
00:21:41,226 --> 00:21:44,065
- Yeah, just the old ones.
- No, I meant single mothers.
515
00:21:44,066 --> 00:21:46,265
What about you, Audrey?
Are you back at work?
516
00:21:46,266 --> 00:21:48,345
Just working from home
while I'm still here.
517
00:21:48,346 --> 00:21:50,465
I'm writing
the weekly council newsletter
518
00:21:50,466 --> 00:21:52,186
that you all read and love.
519
00:21:55,466 --> 00:21:58,145
You know, the one you get
in your letterbox?
520
00:21:58,146 --> 00:22:00,948
With all the useful local information?
521
00:22:01,466 --> 00:22:04,105
E-Waste pick-ups and, um...
522
00:22:04,106 --> 00:22:08,225
library events, parking permit
changes, watering restrictions.
523
00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:10,025
Yeah, all the...
524
00:22:10,026 --> 00:22:12,905
Ruben's started a hire-a-hubby business.
525
00:22:12,906 --> 00:22:14,665
Might be handy
while Jeremy's out of town.
526
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:17,385
It's not hire a hubby, it's Multitasker.
527
00:22:17,386 --> 00:22:20,385
Oh, Mum has a few flat pack shelves
I don't want to assemble.
528
00:22:20,386 --> 00:22:22,825
I'll put those shelves together.
529
00:22:22,826 --> 00:22:25,185
- Will you?
- Yeah. Take me 10 minutes. Easy.
530
00:22:25,186 --> 00:22:26,905
- There you are.
- OK.
531
00:22:26,906 --> 00:22:28,185
Can I have a little bit more of that?
532
00:22:28,186 --> 00:22:30,305
- Course you can.
- Thank you.
533
00:22:30,306 --> 00:22:31,665
Oh, that's not French cheese.
534
00:22:31,666 --> 00:22:33,465
- Yeah, 'cause the West Coast...
- That's alright.
535
00:22:33,466 --> 00:22:35,705
The West Coast is still...
Yeah, they're still trading...
536
00:22:35,706 --> 00:22:38,105
- SOPHIE: (SHRIEKS) Don't step down!
- What's happened?
537
00:22:38,106 --> 00:22:39,825
Oh, my God, Audrey!
538
00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:42,065
We need somebody on this ledge.
539
00:22:42,066 --> 00:22:45,065
Ooh, it's very dangerous.
540
00:22:45,066 --> 00:22:46,825
Oh, hello.
541
00:22:46,826 --> 00:22:49,346
- (CRIES)
- Are you OK?
542
00:22:50,586 --> 00:22:53,065
Audrey? It's so dangerous.
543
00:22:53,066 --> 00:22:55,065
- Shh.
- He nearly kamikazed.
544
00:22:55,066 --> 00:22:57,906
He's fine. He's been going
up and down it all morning.
545
00:22:58,786 --> 00:23:00,266
That was racist.
546
00:23:02,946 --> 00:23:05,065
He's very advanced, isn't he?
547
00:23:05,066 --> 00:23:07,585
Must be double-jointed or something.
548
00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:10,985
Audrey, we really do need
some sort of safety mat, pillows?
549
00:23:10,986 --> 00:23:12,905
Safety mat. Do we have a safety mat?
550
00:23:12,906 --> 00:23:15,065
There's absolutely no baby-proofing
in this garden.
551
00:23:15,066 --> 00:23:17,465
No, you just need to teach
them spatial awareness.
552
00:23:17,466 --> 00:23:19,425
Look, I could put him on top
of a fridge to play
553
00:23:19,426 --> 00:23:20,625
and he wouldn't even fall off.
554
00:23:20,626 --> 00:23:21,985
That's weird. Why would you do that?
555
00:23:21,986 --> 00:23:23,385
Baby-proofing's a scam.
556
00:23:23,386 --> 00:23:25,385
Kids have better coordination
than most adults.
557
00:23:25,386 --> 00:23:27,705
Ooh! No, it's all good.
558
00:23:27,706 --> 00:23:30,946
I got it. Whoo! Didn't even spill.
(LAUGHS)
559
00:23:32,466 --> 00:23:34,626
Guess I'm driving, then.
560
00:23:47,706 --> 00:23:50,945
SOPHIE: Whee! We got news!
561
00:23:50,946 --> 00:23:53,625
(ALL CHEER AND LAUGH)
562
00:23:53,626 --> 00:23:55,345
Why are we clapping?
563
00:23:55,346 --> 00:23:57,666
Oh, we're... we're going again.
564
00:23:58,946 --> 00:24:01,545
BARB: Four months pregnant, suckers!
565
00:24:01,546 --> 00:24:04,025
- Massive.
- Wow, that's great news.
566
00:24:04,026 --> 00:24:06,385
- SOPHIE: Thanks, guys.
- ESTER: Just great. Congrats.
567
00:24:06,386 --> 00:24:08,185
We better get a wriggle on.
568
00:24:08,186 --> 00:24:10,025
That's fantastic!
569
00:24:10,026 --> 00:24:12,185
- Thank you, Audrey.
- (LAUGHS)
570
00:24:12,186 --> 00:24:15,145
Yeah, we're super excited.
Feeling very blessed.
571
00:24:15,146 --> 00:24:16,905
Or unblessed!
572
00:24:16,906 --> 00:24:18,425
So soon? Accident, was it?
573
00:24:18,426 --> 00:24:20,105
No, no.
574
00:24:20,106 --> 00:24:22,585
We wanted them close together.
I read a thing that said
575
00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:25,145
smaller gaps lead
to stronger sibling bonds, so...
576
00:24:25,146 --> 00:24:26,665
Unless they're you and your sister.
577
00:24:26,666 --> 00:24:28,265
15 months apart. Barely speak now.
578
00:24:28,266 --> 00:24:30,265
She didn't even send Stevie a present.
579
00:24:30,266 --> 00:24:31,985
Sent an e-card. (LAUGHS)
580
00:24:31,986 --> 00:24:34,745
But you're probably an anomaly. Hope so.
581
00:24:34,746 --> 00:24:37,265
Did you and your sister take care
of each other, like, at school?
582
00:24:37,266 --> 00:24:39,345
Oh, my God, Ferociously competitive.
583
00:24:39,346 --> 00:24:41,025
- No, we weren't! I mean...
- What?!
584
00:24:41,026 --> 00:24:43,665
He did art just to beat her.
He hated art.
585
00:24:43,666 --> 00:24:46,505
Hey, at least you get all the shitty
part out of the way real quick.
586
00:24:46,506 --> 00:24:48,305
RUBEN: They get to play together.
587
00:24:48,306 --> 00:24:50,505
Hey, show her the bite mark
you got from your sister.
588
00:24:50,506 --> 00:24:52,585
- Go on.
- Hey, no.
589
00:24:52,586 --> 00:24:54,025
It's very impressive!
590
00:24:54,026 --> 00:24:56,905
No. No, let's... let's raise a toast.
591
00:24:56,906 --> 00:24:58,905
- BARB: You're out of champagne.
- Really?
592
00:24:58,906 --> 00:25:01,145
Wow. Never mind.
593
00:25:01,146 --> 00:25:04,985
Raise whatever's in your glass.
To Sophie, to Ziggy and...
594
00:25:04,986 --> 00:25:06,385
little Ziggy.
595
00:25:06,386 --> 00:25:07,945
- (ALL CHEERS)
- And to Stevie!
596
00:25:07,946 --> 00:25:09,426
Why we're all here.
597
00:25:10,826 --> 00:25:12,666
Happy birthday, darling.
598
00:25:13,625 --> 00:25:15,305
- Happy birthday!
- Cheers.
599
00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:17,585
SOPHIE: This has been so fun!
600
00:25:17,586 --> 00:25:19,506
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
601
00:25:31,746 --> 00:25:33,506
(DOOR OPENS)
602
00:25:37,426 --> 00:25:39,746
- Aud?
- Hmm?
603
00:25:42,226 --> 00:25:45,265
- Oh, where'd you get that?
- I found it in the toilet.
604
00:25:45,266 --> 00:25:47,105
- (VERITY LAUGHS)
- Any more?
605
00:25:47,106 --> 00:25:49,145
- No, there was just the one.
- Oh.
606
00:25:49,146 --> 00:25:50,625
She's still in there.
607
00:25:50,626 --> 00:25:53,185
Oh, the kissing emoji,
that's a tell-tale sign.
608
00:25:53,186 --> 00:25:56,625
Tell me, was it kissing? Or...?
609
00:25:56,626 --> 00:25:58,345
You OK?
610
00:25:58,346 --> 00:26:00,305
What? I'm fine.
611
00:26:00,306 --> 00:26:01,705
You sure?
612
00:26:01,706 --> 00:26:04,705
- It was pretty big out there.
- What? I'm great.
613
00:26:04,706 --> 00:26:07,025
But really, she's a bit of a show-off.
614
00:26:07,026 --> 00:26:10,185
So's Mr "I only eat cheese
in France." Fuck off.
615
00:26:10,186 --> 00:26:12,625
She's pregnant, Aud.
She's just sharing her news.
616
00:26:12,626 --> 00:26:15,505
Well, don't. It's Stevie's day,
she could have waited.
617
00:26:15,506 --> 00:26:18,425
And why aren't they leaving?
I said 10:00 till 12:00.
618
00:26:18,426 --> 00:26:20,305
They have been here for hours.
619
00:26:20,306 --> 00:26:22,465
Maybe waiting for the cake?
620
00:26:22,466 --> 00:26:25,545
Shit, the cake. Oh, fuck.
621
00:26:25,546 --> 00:26:30,705
♪ Happy birthday, dear Stevie
622
00:26:30,706 --> 00:26:34,425
♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪
623
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:35,905
- Hip-hip...
- Hooray.
624
00:26:35,906 --> 00:26:37,385
- Hip-hip...
- Hooray.
625
00:26:37,386 --> 00:26:40,065
- Hip-hip...
- OK, thanks, Pete.
626
00:26:40,066 --> 00:26:42,105
Smile, darling. Just a little smile.
627
00:26:42,106 --> 00:26:43,905
Hey, hey.
628
00:26:43,906 --> 00:26:46,465
Oh, yay. (LAUGHS)
629
00:26:46,466 --> 00:26:48,385
It looks like a...
630
00:26:48,386 --> 00:26:49,785
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
631
00:26:49,786 --> 00:26:52,025
It does. Like a old white man's.
632
00:26:52,026 --> 00:26:54,985
Aud, how'd you get the flesh colour?
633
00:26:54,986 --> 00:26:57,225
Oh, it's preservative-free pink.
634
00:26:57,226 --> 00:26:59,345
Yummy. Who wants some?
635
00:26:59,346 --> 00:27:01,465
PETE: Go, Lorena!
636
00:27:01,466 --> 00:27:03,225
Bobbitt. (LAUGHS)
637
00:27:03,226 --> 00:27:05,625
- Lorena Bobbitt.
- NEALE: Oh, yeah. (LAUGHS)
638
00:27:05,626 --> 00:27:07,465
Can I have the tip?
639
00:27:07,466 --> 00:27:09,705
- (ALL LAUGH)
- OK, um...
640
00:27:09,706 --> 00:27:11,505
He went into pornography afterwards.
641
00:27:11,506 --> 00:27:13,585
Everyone line up,
I'll get some paper plates.
642
00:27:13,586 --> 00:27:15,422
- BARB: Oh, that's right.
- We saw it.
643
00:27:34,106 --> 00:27:36,026
AUDREY: So she said I'm pregnant.
644
00:27:36,906 --> 00:27:38,386
JEREMY: We knew that, Aud.
645
00:27:39,586 --> 00:27:42,225
Maybe it's good to do all
the baby thing,
646
00:27:42,226 --> 00:27:44,945
get it all over with, before we get
used to sleeping again?
647
00:27:44,946 --> 00:27:46,626
No, not good for my uterus.
648
00:27:47,626 --> 00:27:49,265
What did the doctor say?
649
00:27:49,266 --> 00:27:51,665
That you should've waited
at least one year, preferably two,
650
00:27:51,666 --> 00:27:53,705
before getting me pregnant.
Apparently she told us that.
651
00:27:53,706 --> 00:27:54,785
Why? What's the reason?
652
00:27:54,786 --> 00:27:57,386
I wrote it down in the thingy.
653
00:27:58,706 --> 00:28:01,025
God, my writing is just a scrawl.
654
00:28:01,026 --> 00:28:02,506
Virtually illegible. Look at that.
655
00:28:03,666 --> 00:28:06,145
- "Ute..." Oh... "Uterus scar".
- "Uterus".
656
00:28:06,146 --> 00:28:07,306
"Uterus scar, thin.
657
00:28:08,026 --> 00:28:09,985
"Vertical incision.
658
00:28:09,986 --> 00:28:12,505
- "T up weaker."
- That's not making sense.
659
00:28:12,506 --> 00:28:14,345
- That's my scar thing.
- Right.
660
00:28:14,346 --> 00:28:15,945
"Risk.
661
00:28:15,946 --> 00:28:17,345
"Rupture.
662
00:28:17,346 --> 00:28:19,585
"Tri... Tri...
663
00:28:19,586 --> 00:28:22,825
Oh, "Third trimester. Split.
664
00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:24,385
"He...
665
00:28:24,386 --> 00:28:26,305
- "Hoover...?
- Is it haemorrhage?
666
00:28:26,306 --> 00:28:28,666
Oh, yes. I really can't spell.
667
00:28:29,706 --> 00:28:32,865
"120 over 80." Oh, that's my,
blood pressure, which is very good.
668
00:28:32,866 --> 00:28:35,065
What does that mean, split?
I mean, are you...?
669
00:28:35,066 --> 00:28:37,145
Yeah, my uterus...
670
00:28:37,146 --> 00:28:39,346
- scar could split.
- And what happens then?
671
00:28:41,026 --> 00:28:42,985
Does that say 'fatal'?
672
00:28:42,986 --> 00:28:45,345
- Holy shit, Aud.
- No, I think that's foetal.
673
00:28:45,346 --> 00:28:48,545
Foetal or fatal...?
Oh, no, that's... that's fatal.
674
00:28:48,546 --> 00:28:50,546
But I'm not... I'm not gonna die.
675
00:28:51,706 --> 00:28:54,905
I mean I could, but how many people
die in childbirth these days?
676
00:28:54,906 --> 00:28:56,785
You nearly did last time.
677
00:28:56,786 --> 00:28:59,225
OK, she said
that's all worst-case scenario.
678
00:28:59,226 --> 00:29:01,705
There is still a possibility
that we could avoid all of that
679
00:29:01,706 --> 00:29:03,586
and have another healthy baby.
680
00:29:12,346 --> 00:29:16,305
Of course, I will support you, Aud,
with whatever you want.
681
00:29:16,306 --> 00:29:17,985
Whatever you want.
682
00:29:17,986 --> 00:29:19,825
But I don't want you to die.
683
00:29:19,826 --> 00:29:21,306
Obviously.
684
00:29:23,546 --> 00:29:26,110
Jesus, is it the 18th century?
685
00:29:32,226 --> 00:29:33,986
Fuck these shelves!
686
00:29:37,426 --> 00:29:40,545
Have you seen a packet of eight
screws? They're about this big.
687
00:29:40,546 --> 00:29:42,065
Sor... sorry.
688
00:29:42,066 --> 00:29:44,826
Uh, no, I haven't seen any screws.
689
00:29:47,626 --> 00:29:49,625
Hey, did you get some good photos today?
690
00:29:49,626 --> 00:29:53,186
Yeah. Oh, got a nice one of you two.
691
00:29:54,506 --> 00:29:57,545
I'll just have to crop out the penis.
692
00:29:57,546 --> 00:30:00,826
And your hair's in shadow so...
there you go.
693
00:30:08,666 --> 00:30:10,106
(SIGHS)
694
00:30:14,466 --> 00:30:16,266
Did we do the right thing?
695
00:30:18,386 --> 00:30:19,946
Yes.
696
00:30:24,060 --> 00:30:26,100
Yes, we did, honey.
697
00:30:32,546 --> 00:30:34,465
I'm gonna wash this out. (CHUCKLES)
698
00:30:34,466 --> 00:30:39,065
♪ Winter came in the dead of night
699
00:30:39,066 --> 00:30:43,265
♪ Told me everything
was gonna be alright
700
00:30:43,266 --> 00:30:48,065
♪ Springtime said there's one sure thing
701
00:30:48,066 --> 00:30:49,785
♪ Life can get you down
702
00:30:49,786 --> 00:30:51,185
♪ If you don't look
703
00:30:51,186 --> 00:30:53,346
♪ At what your love can bring
704
00:30:58,826 --> 00:31:02,466
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
705
00:31:04,266 --> 00:31:07,785
♪ Running round in circles for you
706
00:31:07,786 --> 00:31:12,705
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
707
00:31:12,706 --> 00:31:13,985
♪ It's worth it
708
00:31:13,986 --> 00:31:16,346
♪ It's worth it for you
709
00:31:17,346 --> 00:31:20,266
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
710
00:31:21,986 --> 00:31:25,785
♪ You know that I love you, I do
711
00:31:25,786 --> 00:31:30,905
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
712
00:31:30,906 --> 00:31:32,825
♪ Ooh-ooh. ♪
713
00:31:32,826 --> 00:31:34,745
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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