subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Stay Tuned. (1992) 2

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch Download

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French Download

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal) Download

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish Download

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,627 --> 00:00:16,927 Doogie! 2 00:00:16,928 --> 00:00:19,228 Douglas, i can't understand why you're so angry. 3 00:00:19,231 --> 00:00:20,964 We caught the fish. 4 00:00:20,966 --> 00:00:22,366 Ha ha. 5 00:00:22,368 --> 00:00:24,134 A good-sized critter, 6 00:00:24,136 --> 00:00:25,269 I might add. 7 00:00:25,271 --> 00:00:27,371 You just don't get it, dad. 8 00:00:27,373 --> 00:00:31,475 I don't care. I never wanted to come here. 9 00:00:31,477 --> 00:00:33,727 What? 10 00:00:33,728 --> 00:00:35,978 I could be in palm springs with wanda right now. 11 00:00:35,981 --> 00:00:38,349 Instead, i'm stuck out here-- 12 00:00:38,351 --> 00:00:39,683 Needs more butter. 13 00:00:39,685 --> 00:00:41,518 ...Talking to the fish! 14 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,554 Butter. 15 00:00:43,556 --> 00:00:45,456 More. 16 00:01:10,883 --> 00:01:11,782 [doorbell rings] 17 00:01:11,784 --> 00:01:12,950 Murray, get the door! 18 00:01:12,952 --> 00:01:15,652 I've grown out of these trips. 19 00:01:15,654 --> 00:01:16,587 Butter. 20 00:01:16,589 --> 00:01:18,823 [muttering] 21 00:01:18,824 --> 00:01:21,058 I don't want to be the great white hunter. 22 00:01:22,161 --> 00:01:25,929 Sorry to disturb you at this hour, mr. Seidenbaum, 23 00:01:25,931 --> 00:01:28,799 But you have been personally selected 24 00:01:28,801 --> 00:01:30,300 To receive a most... 25 00:01:30,302 --> 00:01:31,402 Irresistible offer. 26 00:01:31,404 --> 00:01:32,636 Giving me instructions 27 00:01:32,638 --> 00:01:34,872 Like i was still a little boy. 28 00:01:34,874 --> 00:01:37,307 I didn't realize you felt like this. 29 00:01:37,309 --> 00:01:41,912 I'm surprised you didn't say anything before this. 30 00:01:42,448 --> 00:01:46,517 Murray, what are you doing back there? 31 00:01:46,519 --> 00:01:47,851 Murray! 32 00:01:47,853 --> 00:01:49,019 [electronic noise] 33 00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:53,157 Aah! 34 00:03:52,611 --> 00:03:54,278 [burp] 35 00:03:59,585 --> 00:04:01,084 My name is darryl knable. 36 00:04:01,086 --> 00:04:04,721 I'm a normal kid who led a pretty normal life... 37 00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:06,023 Until that night. 38 00:04:06,025 --> 00:04:08,158 [announcer] it looks and feels natural, 39 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,626 Whether you're skimming the surf 40 00:04:09,628 --> 00:04:12,596 Or racing the wind on a cruiser for two. 41 00:04:12,598 --> 00:04:14,665 And remember, we stand behind it. 42 00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:17,734 I'm not only the hair club president, 43 00:04:17,736 --> 00:04:20,187 But also a client. 44 00:04:20,188 --> 00:04:22,639 [darryl] in describing my dad, several names come to mind-- 45 00:04:22,641 --> 00:04:24,141 Bill cosby, alan thicke, 46 00:04:24,143 --> 00:04:25,475 The brady bunch father. 47 00:04:25,477 --> 00:04:27,110 My dad watched all of them. 48 00:04:27,112 --> 00:04:30,948 In fact, he watched anything on tv all the time. 49 00:04:30,950 --> 00:04:32,883 They say the average american 50 00:04:32,885 --> 00:04:34,952 Watches 7 1/2 hours of tv a day. 51 00:04:34,954 --> 00:04:39,089 If that's true, there are two guys who never watch, 52 00:04:39,091 --> 00:04:42,392 And my dad took their times. 53 00:04:42,394 --> 00:04:44,294 Perhaps i shall one day. 54 00:04:44,296 --> 00:04:47,331 You have some dispatches for me, captain? 55 00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:50,000 I have some dispatches for the queen. 56 00:04:50,002 --> 00:04:53,136 Prepare to taste corsican steel. 57 00:04:56,275 --> 00:04:57,941 Uhh! 58 00:04:58,944 --> 00:05:00,844 Hi. 59 00:05:00,846 --> 00:05:01,745 Hi. 60 00:05:01,747 --> 00:05:04,014 It's late. 61 00:05:04,015 --> 00:05:06,282 Yeah, i know. I'll be up in a minute, honey. 62 00:05:06,285 --> 00:05:07,584 [swords cross] 63 00:05:07,586 --> 00:05:09,553 I'm thinking of renting out 64 00:05:09,555 --> 00:05:11,521 Your side of the bed. 65 00:05:11,523 --> 00:05:13,023 Huh? 66 00:05:20,499 --> 00:05:22,466 Don't get me wrong. 67 00:05:22,467 --> 00:05:24,434 I like tv just as much as the next person. 68 00:05:24,436 --> 00:05:28,705 It's just there are more things you can do with it 69 00:05:28,707 --> 00:05:31,375 Than only watch it. 70 00:05:31,376 --> 00:05:34,044 For instance, you can also make money with it. 71 00:05:41,487 --> 00:05:44,421 We interrupt this broadcast for a special report. 72 00:05:44,423 --> 00:05:47,457 Young electronics genius darryl knable 73 00:05:47,459 --> 00:05:49,893 Has just won the nobel prize. 74 00:05:49,895 --> 00:05:51,461 Oh, you dipstick. 75 00:05:51,463 --> 00:05:53,964 For secretly videotaping his sister diane 76 00:05:53,966 --> 00:05:56,400 French-kissing with her boyfriend chris. 77 00:05:56,402 --> 00:05:57,701 We're talking tongues here! 78 00:05:57,703 --> 00:06:01,104 For copies of this tape, send $3.00 to... 79 00:06:01,106 --> 00:06:05,842 Darryl knable, 1532 blue jay court-- 80 00:06:11,016 --> 00:06:14,718 Hey, knable, your kid's messing up my tv reception again. 81 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,721 And your dog's messing up my dichondra. 82 00:06:17,723 --> 00:06:20,424 Rivets didn't do that. 83 00:06:20,425 --> 00:06:23,126 Then there's a brontosaurus loose in the neighborhood. 84 00:06:24,930 --> 00:06:28,131 Bad dog. Bad, bad doggie. 85 00:06:28,133 --> 00:06:30,667 I'm going to call the fcc! 86 00:06:30,669 --> 00:06:31,668 The fcc! 87 00:06:31,670 --> 00:06:33,620 [snort] 88 00:06:33,621 --> 00:06:35,571 My mom was a big-deal advertising executive 89 00:06:35,574 --> 00:06:38,242 With a vitamin company. 90 00:06:38,243 --> 00:06:40,911 My dad had this real suck job selling plumbing supplies. 91 00:06:40,913 --> 00:06:42,846 I heard them arguing one night, 92 00:06:42,848 --> 00:06:45,348 And she said he was suffering from 93 00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:48,185 Something called a mid-life crisis, 94 00:06:48,187 --> 00:06:49,686 Whatever that is. 95 00:06:49,688 --> 00:06:51,054 He said he wasn't. 96 00:06:51,056 --> 00:06:54,558 She said he was jealous of her success. 97 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,059 He said he wasn't. 98 00:06:56,061 --> 00:06:58,695 They argued a lot. 99 00:07:08,507 --> 00:07:12,309 Aah! 100 00:07:26,692 --> 00:07:27,858 So that's my dad, 101 00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:30,127 Going to his pretty normal home 102 00:07:30,129 --> 00:07:32,996 After his pretty normal day at his suck job, 103 00:07:32,998 --> 00:07:34,731 Ready to watch his tv. 104 00:07:34,733 --> 00:07:38,535 That brings us to that night i was talking about. 105 00:07:38,537 --> 00:07:40,904 That's when everything changed. 106 00:07:40,906 --> 00:07:43,540 [woof woof] 107 00:07:44,910 --> 00:07:46,009 I love you. 108 00:07:46,011 --> 00:07:48,578 I don't care who loves who-- 109 00:07:48,580 --> 00:07:51,014 I won't play the sap for you. 110 00:07:51,016 --> 00:07:55,018 You killed miles, and you're going over for it. 111 00:07:56,789 --> 00:08:00,323 Wait, wait, wait. Where are you two going? 112 00:08:00,325 --> 00:08:02,626 Mom, remember? 113 00:08:02,627 --> 00:08:04,928 Oh, right. You're spending the night with friends. 114 00:08:04,930 --> 00:08:05,929 Diane... 115 00:08:05,931 --> 00:08:07,264 No boys. 116 00:08:07,265 --> 00:08:08,598 Mother, i am not a child. 117 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:12,469 Mm-hmm. You go directly to tracy's, you understand? 118 00:08:12,471 --> 00:08:14,004 Right. 119 00:08:15,874 --> 00:08:19,442 Mom, you know my friend billy stephan? 120 00:08:19,444 --> 00:08:20,694 Mm-hmm. 121 00:08:20,695 --> 00:08:21,945 Well, his dad moved out for a while. 122 00:08:21,947 --> 00:08:26,316 Then his parents went away and sat in a hot tub all weekend. 123 00:08:26,318 --> 00:08:29,619 When they got back, billy's dad moved back in 124 00:08:29,621 --> 00:08:31,087 And things were all better. 125 00:08:31,089 --> 00:08:35,225 Did you plan this so your dad and i could be alone? 126 00:08:35,227 --> 00:08:39,596 We don't know how much that hip bruise he got-- 127 00:08:39,598 --> 00:08:40,664 Roy? 128 00:08:40,666 --> 00:08:41,832 Hi, helen. 129 00:08:41,834 --> 00:08:42,799 I have an idea. 130 00:08:42,801 --> 00:08:46,369 You know how proud i am of you-- pass it! 131 00:08:46,371 --> 00:08:48,805 Let's go away. 132 00:08:48,806 --> 00:08:51,240 Go ahead. I'll be there in 4 minutes and 16 seconds. 133 00:08:51,243 --> 00:08:52,475 Roy. Roy, listen. 134 00:08:52,477 --> 00:08:55,245 Let's go away like we used to, 135 00:08:55,247 --> 00:08:56,980 To the mountains. 136 00:08:56,982 --> 00:08:57,714 O.K. 137 00:08:57,716 --> 00:08:59,049 Just the two of us. 138 00:08:59,051 --> 00:09:01,585 No phones, no kids, no tv. 139 00:09:01,587 --> 00:09:03,119 No tv? 140 00:09:03,121 --> 00:09:05,322 They don't have tv there. 141 00:09:05,324 --> 00:09:07,257 Is there a plug? 142 00:09:07,259 --> 00:09:08,825 This is abnormal. 143 00:09:08,827 --> 00:09:11,494 Honey, you're just shutting yourself off 144 00:09:11,496 --> 00:09:14,898 From everything and everybody. 145 00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,367 Are you having problems? 146 00:09:17,369 --> 00:09:19,769 Is--is it me? 147 00:09:20,205 --> 00:09:21,671 Yes! No. 148 00:09:21,672 --> 00:09:23,138 Is--is it work? Are you having trouble at work? 149 00:09:23,141 --> 00:09:27,310 Of course not. What makes you say something like that? 150 00:09:27,312 --> 00:09:28,778 Shoot, you idiot. Shoot. 151 00:09:28,780 --> 00:09:31,915 The one thing we always promised each other 152 00:09:31,917 --> 00:09:34,417 Is that we would remain honest. 153 00:09:34,419 --> 00:09:36,953 We are honest with each other. 154 00:09:36,955 --> 00:09:38,455 Look... 155 00:09:38,456 --> 00:09:39,956 You say that i'm shut off, 156 00:09:39,958 --> 00:09:42,726 That--that i can't open up to you, 157 00:09:42,728 --> 00:09:43,760 That i'm closed down. 158 00:09:43,762 --> 00:09:46,429 O.K., well, i'm going to tell you something 159 00:09:46,431 --> 00:09:48,798 That's--that's very important to me. 160 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,667 I'm going to be completely honest. 161 00:09:50,669 --> 00:09:54,371 I just don't want you to take this the wrong way. 162 00:09:54,373 --> 00:09:58,541 Oh, roy, talk to me. I can take anything. 163 00:09:58,543 --> 00:10:02,045 We're in double overtime here. 164 00:10:03,015 --> 00:10:05,048 Fine! 165 00:10:05,450 --> 00:10:07,450 Watch tv. 166 00:10:07,452 --> 00:10:08,318 Thanks, sweetheart. 167 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,553 Could you move just to-- 168 00:10:10,555 --> 00:10:11,655 This is unbelievable! 169 00:10:11,657 --> 00:10:14,324 You couldn't listen to me for two minutes 170 00:10:14,326 --> 00:10:16,760 Without that stupid television being on! 171 00:10:16,762 --> 00:10:19,562 When i married you, you were a doer. 172 00:10:19,564 --> 00:10:21,698 Now all you are is a watcher! 173 00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:24,968 [announcer] he gave it away to drexler. 174 00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:27,938 Drexler fouled at mid-court. 175 00:10:30,008 --> 00:10:31,474 Oh, roy? 176 00:10:31,476 --> 00:10:32,976 Huh? 177 00:10:33,912 --> 00:10:36,212 Hyah--aah! 178 00:10:36,648 --> 00:10:39,516 The tv! 179 00:10:39,518 --> 00:10:41,384 [paul henreid] i was afraid 180 00:10:41,386 --> 00:10:43,954 You were keeping tina out of pity, 181 00:10:43,956 --> 00:10:45,989 But that wasn't pity just now. 182 00:10:45,991 --> 00:10:48,358 Now i know you still love me. 183 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:50,727 It won't die, what's between us. 184 00:10:50,729 --> 00:10:52,362 Do what you will-- 185 00:10:52,364 --> 00:10:53,296 Never happen. 186 00:10:53,298 --> 00:10:54,998 Ignore it, neglect it-- 187 00:10:54,999 --> 00:10:56,699 No further developments in the disappearance 188 00:10:56,702 --> 00:10:59,002 Of murray and sarah seidenbaum of oakview. 189 00:10:59,004 --> 00:11:04,140 Police are still baffled and report they have no clues. 190 00:11:14,987 --> 00:11:16,519 Ahhhh... 191 00:11:16,521 --> 00:11:17,220 Roy... 192 00:11:17,222 --> 00:11:19,322 Your boring little life 193 00:11:19,324 --> 00:11:21,291 Is about to become 194 00:11:21,293 --> 00:11:24,160 Much more exciting. 195 00:11:24,162 --> 00:11:26,863 [doorbell chimes] 196 00:11:31,003 --> 00:11:32,502 Mr. Knable? 197 00:11:32,504 --> 00:11:35,638 Sorry to disturb you at this hour, 198 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,607 But you've been personally selected 199 00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:40,944 To receive a most irresistible offer. 200 00:11:40,946 --> 00:11:42,713 I'm busy. 201 00:11:42,714 --> 00:11:44,481 Wait, mr. Knable. I have something you want-- 202 00:11:44,483 --> 00:11:45,548 Escape... 203 00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:47,617 From all your failures and woes, 204 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:50,153 At the touch of your thumb... 205 00:11:50,155 --> 00:11:52,122 On this. 206 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:53,923 [beeping] 207 00:11:53,925 --> 00:11:55,425 Go ahead. 208 00:11:55,427 --> 00:11:57,527 [beeping] 209 00:11:59,765 --> 00:12:02,032 Your new controller. 210 00:12:03,101 --> 00:12:08,538 Your passport to the ultimate television adventure. 211 00:12:08,907 --> 00:12:09,939 Cute place. 212 00:12:09,941 --> 00:12:11,041 You fence! 213 00:12:11,043 --> 00:12:13,610 Oh, i used to. 214 00:12:14,046 --> 00:12:16,046 Did you ever, uh, kill anyone? 215 00:12:16,048 --> 00:12:18,515 Of course not. Look, mr., uh... 216 00:12:18,517 --> 00:12:19,349 Spike. 217 00:12:19,351 --> 00:12:21,584 At your service. 218 00:12:23,121 --> 00:12:25,922 What exactly is it that you're selling? 219 00:12:25,924 --> 00:12:28,691 Mmm! Attractive. The little woman. 220 00:12:28,693 --> 00:12:30,560 You two having difficulties? 221 00:12:30,562 --> 00:12:32,629 Well, i don't see how-- 222 00:12:32,631 --> 00:12:34,164 I know all about you, roy. 223 00:12:34,166 --> 00:12:37,567 Success, it's like a fly buzzing around your head. 224 00:12:37,569 --> 00:12:40,070 You reach for it, you grab it, 225 00:12:40,072 --> 00:12:42,539 And all you get is... Nothing! 226 00:12:42,541 --> 00:12:44,407 You're tired of nothing, roy, 227 00:12:44,409 --> 00:12:47,077 So you want to hide from everything, 228 00:12:47,079 --> 00:12:48,845 But she gives you heat, right? 229 00:12:48,847 --> 00:12:51,881 Roy, wait till she gets a load of this-- 230 00:12:51,883 --> 00:12:55,819 600 and 66 channels of heart-pounding, 231 00:12:55,821 --> 00:12:57,287 Skull-blasting entertainment. 232 00:12:57,289 --> 00:12:59,155 Comedy! Drama! Hot-oil aerobics 233 00:12:59,157 --> 00:13:01,558 Like nothing you've ever seen, brother. 234 00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:04,160 Unlimited entertainment, snatched from the ether 235 00:13:04,162 --> 00:13:06,830 And slammed into your brand-new 44-inch, 236 00:13:06,832 --> 00:13:10,800 900-line resolution, 3-way expanded-matrix, 237 00:13:10,802 --> 00:13:13,770 Dolby stereo tv, right here, roy. 238 00:13:13,772 --> 00:13:15,305 A new tv? 239 00:13:15,306 --> 00:13:16,839 Straight from the temple of high-tech. 240 00:13:16,842 --> 00:13:19,742 Make this thing look like a philco. 241 00:13:19,744 --> 00:13:20,944 Some people would give 242 00:13:20,946 --> 00:13:23,480 Their souls for a system like this. 243 00:13:23,482 --> 00:13:27,050 Just sign here. We're in business. 244 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:31,221 I--i can't. 245 00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:35,325 All right. 246 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,561 Good night, mr. Knable. 247 00:13:39,798 --> 00:13:42,432 Did i mention, uh... 248 00:13:42,434 --> 00:13:44,134 Free trial? 249 00:13:44,136 --> 00:13:45,935 Free? 250 00:13:49,574 --> 00:13:54,811 Well, roy, all set for the tv adventure of a lifetime? 251 00:13:54,813 --> 00:13:56,246 Now remember... 252 00:13:56,247 --> 00:13:57,680 You'll have to adjust the dish 253 00:13:57,682 --> 00:13:59,415 To fine-tune reception. 254 00:13:59,417 --> 00:14:01,084 Like this. 255 00:14:17,602 --> 00:14:20,303 Enjoy your new system, roy. 256 00:14:20,305 --> 00:14:22,438 We'll be in touch. 257 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,973 Ha ha ha! 258 00:14:23,975 --> 00:14:26,142 That was a dead end! 259 00:14:26,144 --> 00:14:26,910 [thunder] 260 00:14:26,912 --> 00:14:29,712 [spike] ha ha ha ha! 261 00:14:39,224 --> 00:14:40,423 Hi. 262 00:14:40,425 --> 00:14:43,126 Ho ho ho ho ho! 263 00:14:43,128 --> 00:14:45,361 Ha ha ha ha ha! 264 00:14:45,363 --> 00:14:48,598 Ha ha ha ha ha! 265 00:14:52,737 --> 00:14:54,938 Aah! 266 00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:57,207 Now, honey, just keep an open mind. 267 00:14:57,209 --> 00:15:00,510 There's no obligation. I got it on a free trial. 268 00:15:00,512 --> 00:15:03,880 It's a whole satellite system, over 600 channels. 269 00:15:03,882 --> 00:15:06,149 ¶ i hate to leave you ¶ 270 00:15:06,151 --> 00:15:08,718 ¶ but i really must say ¶ 271 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:12,222 ¶ oh, good night, sweetheart ¶ 272 00:15:12,224 --> 00:15:14,524 Wednesdays at 9:00... 273 00:15:14,793 --> 00:15:17,560 The salesman said we'd get a lot of shows 274 00:15:17,562 --> 00:15:20,163 You can't get on regular tv. 275 00:15:20,165 --> 00:15:21,931 Helen? 276 00:15:23,301 --> 00:15:24,467 Helen? 277 00:15:24,469 --> 00:15:27,170 I don't want this anymore! 278 00:15:27,172 --> 00:15:29,772 [announcer] we thought it would be funny, 279 00:15:29,774 --> 00:15:32,575 If our bob, dressed as a policeman, 280 00:15:32,577 --> 00:15:34,777 Would tell a perfect stranger 281 00:15:34,779 --> 00:15:36,246 Her husband is dead. 282 00:15:36,248 --> 00:15:37,981 Mrs. Cecily barth? 283 00:15:37,983 --> 00:15:39,733 Yes. 284 00:15:39,734 --> 00:15:41,484 Your husband's name was steven barth? 285 00:15:41,486 --> 00:15:42,452 Was? 286 00:15:42,454 --> 00:15:43,987 What do you mean, was? 287 00:15:43,989 --> 00:15:47,323 Did your husband drive a 1978 chevrolet impala? 288 00:15:47,325 --> 00:15:48,358 What are you saying? 289 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,426 Has something happened to my steven? 290 00:15:50,428 --> 00:15:53,763 [announcer] watch her reaction to the bad news. 291 00:15:53,765 --> 00:15:55,365 I'm afraid so. 292 00:15:55,367 --> 00:15:56,332 Ah! Aah! 293 00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:57,400 [weeping] 294 00:15:57,402 --> 00:15:59,536 It's all right. 295 00:15:59,537 --> 00:16:01,671 [announcer] i think it's time for mrs. Barth 296 00:16:01,673 --> 00:16:03,806 To be let in on the fun. 297 00:16:03,808 --> 00:16:06,643 Mrs. Barth, look across the street 298 00:16:06,645 --> 00:16:08,645 At that van behind me. 299 00:16:08,647 --> 00:16:11,814 Look really carefully. 300 00:16:12,284 --> 00:16:14,284 Is that, uh... 301 00:16:14,286 --> 00:16:15,818 It's a camera, yes. 302 00:16:15,820 --> 00:16:18,254 Then...You mean... 303 00:16:18,256 --> 00:16:19,822 Yes, mrs. Barth. 304 00:16:19,824 --> 00:16:21,190 You're on... 305 00:16:21,192 --> 00:16:23,726 Sadistic hidden videos? 306 00:16:23,728 --> 00:16:25,828 And you're...Bob. 307 00:16:25,830 --> 00:16:27,430 Ha ha ha ha! 308 00:16:27,432 --> 00:16:28,798 I'm on tv? 309 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,533 Uhh! Oh, you guys! 310 00:16:30,535 --> 00:16:32,402 Oh! 311 00:16:38,243 --> 00:16:40,977 The dish needs adjusting. 312 00:16:46,551 --> 00:16:48,551 Ohh! 313 00:16:48,987 --> 00:16:52,055 That'll improve the reception! 314 00:16:52,524 --> 00:16:54,257 Yeah? 315 00:16:55,327 --> 00:16:56,693 Oh, yeah, roy? 316 00:16:56,695 --> 00:16:59,262 Well, how's this? 317 00:16:59,264 --> 00:17:00,096 [banging] 318 00:17:00,098 --> 00:17:01,564 You receiving this? 319 00:17:01,566 --> 00:17:03,066 Are you getting this? 320 00:17:03,068 --> 00:17:04,500 Will you stop it? 321 00:17:04,502 --> 00:17:06,602 I am leaving you, roy. 322 00:17:06,604 --> 00:17:08,938 [beeping] 323 00:17:10,308 --> 00:17:15,278 I want a man who'll touch me rather than his remote control. 324 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:18,247 Please hang on a second. 325 00:17:18,249 --> 00:17:19,582 We have to talk! 326 00:17:19,584 --> 00:17:22,352 It's too late to talk! 327 00:17:30,495 --> 00:17:33,096 Whoa! 328 00:17:47,045 --> 00:17:48,978 Fasten your seat belts, folks. 329 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:52,181 It's going to be a bumpy ride! 330 00:17:52,183 --> 00:17:53,683 Ha ha ha ha! 331 00:17:53,685 --> 00:17:55,952 Ha ha ha ha. 332 00:17:56,688 --> 00:17:59,889 And welcome back to... 333 00:17:59,891 --> 00:18:03,159 You can't win! You can't win! 334 00:18:03,161 --> 00:18:05,995 Now let's welcome our new contestants 335 00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:09,399 Roy and helen knable! 336 00:18:13,338 --> 00:18:16,806 Do you know the rules of our game? 337 00:18:16,808 --> 00:18:18,207 What game? 338 00:18:18,209 --> 00:18:21,611 The game with these great prizes. 339 00:18:21,613 --> 00:18:22,779 Jay? 340 00:18:22,780 --> 00:18:23,946 Feast your eyes on this-- 341 00:18:23,948 --> 00:18:26,082 The all-new nappa-crapper 9000. 342 00:18:26,084 --> 00:18:29,652 You'll never have to get off your fat butt again. 343 00:18:29,654 --> 00:18:31,187 It has every amenity-- 344 00:18:31,189 --> 00:18:32,655 A built-in color tv. 345 00:18:32,657 --> 00:18:36,192 It adjusts to you so you don't have to move. 346 00:18:36,194 --> 00:18:39,061 No more trips to the kitchen during commercials. 347 00:18:39,063 --> 00:18:42,198 Better yet, no more annoying trips to the bathroom. 348 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:45,635 Your television viewing never has to be interrupted, 349 00:18:45,637 --> 00:18:47,403 And of course, win or lose, 350 00:18:47,405 --> 00:18:51,507 Every contestant takes home a set of encyclopedia satanica! 351 00:18:51,509 --> 00:18:54,777 And now it's time to play... 352 00:18:54,779 --> 00:18:56,179 You can't win. 353 00:18:56,181 --> 00:18:57,413 Back to you, guy. 354 00:18:57,415 --> 00:18:59,882 Roy, the first question's for you. 355 00:18:59,884 --> 00:19:01,884 On your last wedding anniversary, 356 00:19:01,886 --> 00:19:05,254 You missed the romantic dinner your wife had planned. 357 00:19:05,256 --> 00:19:07,790 The reason, a--car trouble. 358 00:19:07,792 --> 00:19:10,726 B--you were running a marathon. 359 00:19:10,728 --> 00:19:12,829 C--you were in a bar 360 00:19:12,831 --> 00:19:16,365 Swilling a beer, watching...World series. 361 00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:18,734 Car trouble, just like i said! 362 00:19:18,736 --> 00:19:21,037 No! Can you take it? 363 00:19:21,039 --> 00:19:23,172 You were watching baseball? 364 00:19:23,174 --> 00:19:25,308 That's right! 365 00:19:27,145 --> 00:19:30,713 Trust me, babe. You walked into the right place. 366 00:19:30,715 --> 00:19:33,299 Very cushy down here. 367 00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:35,884 You can cool your heels in here for the rest of eternity 368 00:19:35,887 --> 00:19:37,820 If you kiss the right ass. 369 00:19:37,822 --> 00:19:40,389 These lips ain't calloused for nothing! 370 00:19:40,391 --> 00:19:41,524 Ha ha ha ha! 371 00:19:41,526 --> 00:19:43,426 Are you some kind of comedian? 372 00:19:43,428 --> 00:19:46,496 I once opened for liberace in vegas. 373 00:19:46,498 --> 00:19:47,163 Great. 374 00:19:47,165 --> 00:19:48,431 This is the jumbotron. 375 00:19:48,433 --> 00:19:51,067 It's got all the bells and whistles. 376 00:19:51,069 --> 00:19:52,635 It's our official scoreboard. 377 00:19:52,637 --> 00:19:54,837 Keeps track of the sbis. 378 00:19:54,839 --> 00:19:56,939 Souls batted in. 379 00:19:56,941 --> 00:19:58,207 Ha ha ha. 380 00:19:58,209 --> 00:20:00,977 Kind of a sports thing. 381 00:20:00,979 --> 00:20:02,678 [cough] 382 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:06,082 Time for the seidenbaums, sir. 383 00:20:12,290 --> 00:20:14,724 Punch 'em up. 384 00:20:14,926 --> 00:20:18,394 Mmm... The seidenbaums. 385 00:20:18,396 --> 00:20:20,429 Yearning for exotic locales. 386 00:20:20,431 --> 00:20:24,066 This episode takes them to tokyo. 387 00:20:24,068 --> 00:20:25,935 They're having a wonderful time 388 00:20:25,937 --> 00:20:27,703 Starring in their own movie. 389 00:20:27,705 --> 00:20:31,440 It's the seidenbaums versus... 390 00:20:31,442 --> 00:20:35,011 The gigantic stinking-footed lizard! 391 00:20:35,013 --> 00:20:36,412 Aah! 392 00:20:36,414 --> 00:20:37,046 Ooh! 393 00:20:37,048 --> 00:20:39,982 Sayonara, mrs. Seidenbaum. 394 00:20:46,424 --> 00:20:47,723 That's entertainment. 395 00:20:47,725 --> 00:20:49,158 Oh, he's good. 396 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,660 He's so good. 397 00:20:50,662 --> 00:20:51,994 Ha ha ha! 398 00:20:51,996 --> 00:20:53,429 Shocking. 399 00:20:53,431 --> 00:20:56,432 Sir, this is pierce, our new, uh, intern. 400 00:20:56,434 --> 00:20:58,868 If you can't stomach the sight of blood-- 401 00:20:58,870 --> 00:21:01,604 It's not the blood i find distressing. 402 00:21:01,606 --> 00:21:03,739 It's your lack of subtext. 403 00:21:03,741 --> 00:21:06,409 Film school graduate. 404 00:21:06,411 --> 00:21:07,510 Yes, sir. 405 00:21:07,512 --> 00:21:08,995 Usc. 406 00:21:08,996 --> 00:21:10,479 I did my thesis on kurosawa and spike lee. 407 00:21:10,481 --> 00:21:14,283 Mr. Pierce, let me educate you about our organization. 408 00:21:14,285 --> 00:21:15,318 Here at hellvision, 409 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:18,454 We've turned the process of soul acquisition 410 00:21:18,456 --> 00:21:19,989 Into an entertainment extravaganza, 411 00:21:19,991 --> 00:21:25,328 And all for the benefit of one very demanding viewer below. 412 00:21:25,330 --> 00:21:26,596 The boss himself, 413 00:21:26,598 --> 00:21:28,364 And i don't mean springsteen. 414 00:21:28,366 --> 00:21:30,633 He has an enormous appetite for misfortune. 415 00:21:30,635 --> 00:21:34,203 It is our job to supply him with an eclectic offering 416 00:21:34,205 --> 00:21:37,206 Of light amusements, not subtext! 417 00:21:37,742 --> 00:21:38,908 Don't go away, knables! 418 00:21:38,910 --> 00:21:42,345 It's time for... The final question. 419 00:21:42,347 --> 00:21:45,047 What's that mean? 420 00:21:45,049 --> 00:21:47,383 The pit! The pit! 421 00:21:50,955 --> 00:21:52,054 Yes, the pit! 422 00:21:52,056 --> 00:21:55,124 And what's down there today, jay? 423 00:21:55,126 --> 00:21:59,895 Lots of slimy, crawly bad things, guy. 424 00:21:59,897 --> 00:22:00,663 Eeeuw! 425 00:22:00,665 --> 00:22:02,331 Now you have 10 seconds 426 00:22:02,333 --> 00:22:06,235 To answer the question correctly, or be... 427 00:22:06,237 --> 00:22:07,803 Eliminated. 428 00:22:07,805 --> 00:22:09,505 Aah! 429 00:22:09,507 --> 00:22:12,408 So the object's to get to the end-- 430 00:22:12,410 --> 00:22:15,344 The object's to kill them before the end. 431 00:22:15,346 --> 00:22:17,513 Take the knables, for instance. 432 00:22:17,515 --> 00:22:18,648 They just checked in. 433 00:22:18,650 --> 00:22:21,417 If they survive 24 hours, they go back. 434 00:22:21,419 --> 00:22:24,086 Part of our treaty with the other side. 435 00:22:24,088 --> 00:22:26,222 Kind of a geneva convention 436 00:22:26,224 --> 00:22:28,424 In the war for souls. 437 00:22:28,426 --> 00:22:29,425 Ha ha ha ha! 438 00:22:29,427 --> 00:22:32,695 Name the person who's recently been seeing 439 00:22:32,697 --> 00:22:34,130 A former lover. 440 00:22:34,132 --> 00:22:35,865 Is it, a--roy? 441 00:22:35,867 --> 00:22:36,766 No. 442 00:22:36,768 --> 00:22:38,000 B--helen? 443 00:22:38,002 --> 00:22:41,604 Or c--roy and helen? 444 00:22:41,606 --> 00:22:43,840 I know, i know. 445 00:22:43,841 --> 00:22:46,075 The former lovers we've been seeing are each other! 446 00:22:46,077 --> 00:22:49,979 You're... 447 00:22:49,981 --> 00:22:51,547 Right! 448 00:22:51,549 --> 00:22:54,150 Aah! 449 00:22:54,652 --> 00:22:58,654 We'll be back with the knables' vacation round 450 00:22:58,656 --> 00:23:00,723 Right after this! 451 00:23:04,862 --> 00:23:07,029 How long do they usually last? 452 00:23:07,031 --> 00:23:09,598 Whether they go quickly or not, 453 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,001 In the end, they always join us. 454 00:23:12,003 --> 00:23:14,737 You're forgetting that wiry little peruvian chap. 455 00:23:14,739 --> 00:23:17,373 A mistake, mr. Crowley, that won't be repeated. 456 00:23:17,375 --> 00:23:20,543 Hey, it wasn't me that loused up. Jeez. 457 00:23:20,545 --> 00:23:23,813 Are you implying that if was my fault? 458 00:23:24,415 --> 00:23:25,414 I'm kidding! 459 00:23:25,416 --> 00:23:27,183 You know me. 460 00:23:27,185 --> 00:23:30,186 Always joking. 461 00:23:30,187 --> 00:23:33,188 I think, mr. Crowley, it's time for a little...Field work. 462 00:23:33,191 --> 00:23:34,590 Uh... 463 00:23:34,592 --> 00:23:36,692 Spike. 464 00:23:37,562 --> 00:23:39,128 Sir. 465 00:23:39,130 --> 00:23:40,830 Uh... 466 00:23:40,831 --> 00:23:42,531 Why don't i take you to lunch? 467 00:23:42,533 --> 00:23:45,601 We can sit down. We can-- 468 00:23:45,603 --> 00:23:47,670 Oh, boy. 469 00:23:47,672 --> 00:23:50,473 Hey, spike, come on. 470 00:23:50,475 --> 00:23:51,974 You know me. 471 00:23:51,976 --> 00:23:53,075 Heh heh heh. 472 00:23:53,077 --> 00:23:55,277 Chronic foot-in-the-mouth disease. 473 00:23:55,279 --> 00:23:58,047 I don't want to do field work. 474 00:23:58,049 --> 00:23:59,582 I'm executive material. 475 00:23:59,584 --> 00:24:01,550 I belong here with you. 476 00:24:01,552 --> 00:24:04,320 Aaahhh! 477 00:24:05,823 --> 00:24:10,126 Screw up in here, and you're dead meat... 478 00:24:10,128 --> 00:24:11,927 Dead meat. 479 00:24:14,198 --> 00:24:15,664 Mr. And mrs. Knable, 480 00:24:15,666 --> 00:24:17,266 It's time to find out 481 00:24:17,268 --> 00:24:21,904 Where you go on your fantasy vacation. 482 00:24:29,714 --> 00:24:33,315 Door number 1 it is! 483 00:24:34,152 --> 00:24:35,384 What is going on? 484 00:24:35,386 --> 00:24:39,054 You're going on the trip of a lifetime! 485 00:24:39,056 --> 00:24:41,724 Aah! 486 00:24:45,429 --> 00:24:47,730 [bell dings] 487 00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:51,300 Ladies and gentlemen, 488 00:24:51,302 --> 00:24:53,803 The main event-- 489 00:24:53,805 --> 00:24:55,404 Mixed pairs wrestling. 490 00:24:55,406 --> 00:24:57,006 No holds barred. 491 00:24:57,008 --> 00:24:59,909 No transfusions allowed. 492 00:24:59,911 --> 00:25:02,444 A battle to the death! 493 00:25:02,446 --> 00:25:05,281 This has got to be a dream. 494 00:25:05,283 --> 00:25:08,384 It's a bad dream. 495 00:25:08,385 --> 00:25:11,486 In this corner, roy "the couch potato" knable 496 00:25:11,489 --> 00:25:14,623 And his wife helen the harridan! 497 00:25:14,625 --> 00:25:16,025 I gotta wake up. 498 00:25:16,027 --> 00:25:17,827 And the challengers... 499 00:25:17,829 --> 00:25:19,595 The vilest and evilest duo 500 00:25:19,597 --> 00:25:22,898 Ever to disgrace a wrestling ring... 501 00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:27,736 That ogre and ogress... The gorgons! 502 00:25:27,738 --> 00:25:29,672 Rraahhhrr! 503 00:25:29,674 --> 00:25:33,342 Oh, my god. Oh, my god. 504 00:25:33,344 --> 00:25:34,243 Rraahhr! 505 00:25:34,245 --> 00:25:36,078 Calm down. Stay calm. 506 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,413 Couch potato, come on. 507 00:25:37,415 --> 00:25:39,348 I--i think he means us. 508 00:25:39,350 --> 00:25:42,952 Excuse me. We're not suppose to be here. 509 00:25:42,954 --> 00:25:44,253 Rrraahhhr! 510 00:25:44,255 --> 00:25:45,421 O.K. Everything goes-- 511 00:25:45,423 --> 00:25:48,257 Maim, murder each other, i don't care, 512 00:25:48,259 --> 00:25:49,358 But keep it clean. 513 00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:52,061 When the bell rings, kill or be killed. 514 00:25:52,063 --> 00:25:53,963 Do we look like wrestlers? 515 00:25:53,965 --> 00:25:56,098 We have no idea why we're here. 516 00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:59,735 I'm a senior product manager for a vitamin company. 517 00:25:59,737 --> 00:26:01,337 Senior product manager? 518 00:26:01,339 --> 00:26:02,738 I got a promotion. 519 00:26:02,740 --> 00:26:04,840 Why didn't you tell me? 520 00:26:04,842 --> 00:26:06,575 Roy, you know why. 521 00:26:06,577 --> 00:26:07,793 Why? 522 00:26:07,794 --> 00:26:09,010 Because my success threatens you. 523 00:26:09,013 --> 00:26:11,847 Your success does not threaten me. 524 00:26:11,849 --> 00:26:13,315 It does, too! 525 00:26:13,317 --> 00:26:14,416 [bell dings] 526 00:26:14,418 --> 00:26:16,101 Uh-oh. 527 00:26:16,102 --> 00:26:17,785 I've watched enough wrestling to know 528 00:26:17,788 --> 00:26:19,088 It's all fake. 529 00:26:19,090 --> 00:26:21,690 No one ever gets hurt-- 530 00:26:21,692 --> 00:26:23,759 Aaaahhhh! Rrraahhrr! 531 00:26:23,761 --> 00:26:25,427 Rrraahhhr! 532 00:26:30,668 --> 00:26:32,601 Roy! 533 00:26:39,410 --> 00:26:40,876 Not fake. 534 00:26:40,878 --> 00:26:43,095 It's not fake. 535 00:26:43,096 --> 00:26:45,313 Run for your life, helen--quickly. 536 00:26:45,316 --> 00:26:47,049 Helen, hold me... 537 00:26:47,051 --> 00:26:48,751 Aah! 538 00:26:57,695 --> 00:26:58,661 Aah! 539 00:26:58,663 --> 00:27:01,363 Watch, mr. Pierce. See how it's done. 540 00:27:01,365 --> 00:27:05,601 The exhilarating end of a tedious life. 541 00:27:08,973 --> 00:27:10,506 Grrr! 542 00:27:12,810 --> 00:27:14,209 Get up. Get up! 543 00:27:14,211 --> 00:27:20,082 Here comes that gorgon girl to finish the job. 544 00:27:20,084 --> 00:27:22,985 Leave him alone, you bitch! 545 00:27:22,987 --> 00:27:24,887 Grrr! 546 00:27:24,889 --> 00:27:25,955 I apologize. 547 00:27:25,957 --> 00:27:29,725 You're probably really not a bitch. 548 00:27:29,727 --> 00:27:31,393 Roy, get up! 549 00:27:32,630 --> 00:27:35,064 The gorgon's in the seats! 550 00:27:35,066 --> 00:27:36,465 He's history! 551 00:27:36,467 --> 00:27:37,700 Roy! 552 00:27:37,702 --> 00:27:40,469 You know, for a full-figured woman, 553 00:27:40,471 --> 00:27:42,938 You really wear that outfit well. 554 00:27:42,940 --> 00:27:44,540 Help! Ow! 555 00:27:44,542 --> 00:27:46,742 Whoa, nellie! Cat fight! 556 00:27:46,744 --> 00:27:48,911 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 557 00:27:48,913 --> 00:27:51,780 This could be the end. 558 00:27:52,950 --> 00:27:54,483 Grrr! 559 00:28:00,257 --> 00:28:03,258 My hair! 560 00:28:18,042 --> 00:28:19,842 Looks like that pathetic loser 561 00:28:19,844 --> 00:28:25,514 Isn't going to be as easy as we thought. 562 00:28:30,521 --> 00:28:31,353 Roy. 563 00:28:31,355 --> 00:28:33,288 What happened? 564 00:28:33,290 --> 00:28:34,456 We won. 565 00:28:34,458 --> 00:28:36,258 Or rather, i won. 566 00:28:36,260 --> 00:28:37,259 Knables! Knables! 567 00:28:37,261 --> 00:28:39,261 Knables! Knables! 568 00:28:39,263 --> 00:28:42,097 Knables! Knables! 569 00:28:44,969 --> 00:28:47,236 All right, you won, too. 570 00:28:47,238 --> 00:28:48,971 Damn right. 571 00:28:50,007 --> 00:28:52,808 And your success does not threaten me. 572 00:28:52,810 --> 00:28:55,277 It does, too. 573 00:29:19,804 --> 00:29:22,504 Totally wicked. 574 00:29:29,413 --> 00:29:31,513 Excellent. 575 00:29:33,717 --> 00:29:34,983 [door opens] 576 00:29:34,985 --> 00:29:39,021 Where's mom and d-- oh, my god. 577 00:29:39,490 --> 00:29:41,390 Dad must have gotten it last night. 578 00:29:41,392 --> 00:29:43,125 How did james dean really die? 579 00:29:43,127 --> 00:29:48,697 Find out tonight on autopsies of the rich and famous. 580 00:29:54,672 --> 00:29:57,406 The usual, sir? 581 00:29:57,408 --> 00:29:59,775 Please. 582 00:30:03,848 --> 00:30:08,550 [ride of the valkyries plays] 583 00:30:28,839 --> 00:30:30,272 Bizarre. 584 00:30:30,273 --> 00:30:31,706 Welcome to northern overexposure, 585 00:30:31,707 --> 00:30:33,140 The story of a young doctor from new york 586 00:30:33,144 --> 00:30:36,712 Who comes to alaska, complains about everything, 587 00:30:36,714 --> 00:30:39,081 And freezes to death. 588 00:30:48,425 --> 00:30:52,728 Hello! Yoo-hoo, mister! 589 00:30:52,730 --> 00:30:55,898 Stay away! These are my holes! 590 00:30:55,900 --> 00:30:56,598 Back off! 591 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,734 Oh, knable, it's only you. 592 00:30:58,736 --> 00:31:00,936 How does he know our name? 593 00:31:00,938 --> 00:31:03,972 Trying to find a conduit out of here. 594 00:31:03,974 --> 00:31:05,574 Conduit? 595 00:31:05,575 --> 00:31:07,175 Yeah. A window to the next channel. 596 00:31:07,178 --> 00:31:10,345 If you think i'm spending the rest of eternity here, 597 00:31:10,347 --> 00:31:11,380 You're crazy! 598 00:31:11,382 --> 00:31:12,848 [wolf howls] 599 00:31:12,850 --> 00:31:15,417 Here it is! Here it is! 600 00:31:15,419 --> 00:31:17,352 This is it! 601 00:31:17,354 --> 00:31:19,288 [growling] 602 00:31:26,897 --> 00:31:29,231 The shack! 603 00:31:36,674 --> 00:31:38,640 Aah! 604 00:31:40,177 --> 00:31:42,644 Helen! Helen! 605 00:31:57,494 --> 00:32:00,862 Hey, mom and dad left us a note. 606 00:32:00,864 --> 00:32:01,863 Give me that. 607 00:32:01,865 --> 00:32:05,000 "dear kids, had to leave for a while. 608 00:32:05,002 --> 00:32:07,903 "will call tomorrow to explain. 609 00:32:07,905 --> 00:32:09,071 Love, mom." 610 00:32:09,073 --> 00:32:12,241 Killer! The house to myself! 611 00:32:12,243 --> 00:32:14,276 They did it. 612 00:32:14,277 --> 00:32:16,310 They went away, just like billy's mom and dad did. 613 00:32:16,313 --> 00:32:19,548 And now it's your turn to go away, dweebnik. 614 00:32:19,550 --> 00:32:23,385 Shelley, it's me. Guess what? 615 00:32:44,475 --> 00:32:47,509 [beeping] 616 00:33:41,799 --> 00:33:43,498 What are you doing? 617 00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:45,167 Did you see that? 618 00:33:45,169 --> 00:33:47,502 That dish, it ate my bmx. 619 00:33:47,504 --> 00:33:50,939 Is this some kind of male puberty thing? 620 00:33:50,941 --> 00:33:52,207 [barking] 621 00:33:52,209 --> 00:33:54,109 Let me get this straight. 622 00:33:54,111 --> 00:33:57,713 We've been sucked into some kind of tv world? 623 00:33:57,715 --> 00:33:59,981 Are you saying that that salesman was-- 624 00:33:59,983 --> 00:34:01,700 Mr. Spike-- 625 00:34:01,701 --> 00:34:03,418 Mephistopheles of the cathode ray, 626 00:34:03,420 --> 00:34:05,287 Big brother to the ungrateful dead. 627 00:34:05,289 --> 00:34:09,257 If we ever cross channels again--ho ho ho! 628 00:34:09,259 --> 00:34:10,425 Roy, how could you? 629 00:34:10,427 --> 00:34:12,961 I thought i was buying a tv. 630 00:34:12,963 --> 00:34:15,864 Oh! This is just great. 631 00:34:15,866 --> 00:34:16,965 This is great. 632 00:34:16,967 --> 00:34:19,301 You wanted to live in a tv fantasy? 633 00:34:19,303 --> 00:34:20,669 You got your wish. 634 00:34:20,671 --> 00:34:23,071 At least we're not dead. 635 00:34:23,073 --> 00:34:23,805 Not yet. 636 00:34:23,807 --> 00:34:25,841 Stay alive another 15 hours-- 637 00:34:25,843 --> 00:34:28,610 Bingo. Free pass back to reality. 638 00:34:28,612 --> 00:34:30,979 The odds of making it are-- 639 00:34:30,981 --> 00:34:32,547 [crack] 640 00:34:33,283 --> 00:34:34,683 Oh, my. 641 00:34:34,685 --> 00:34:37,753 The cold's no place for a stiff. 642 00:34:37,755 --> 00:34:38,820 Oh, my god. 643 00:34:38,822 --> 00:34:40,188 Don't panic. 644 00:34:40,190 --> 00:34:42,557 I got us into this, i'll get us out. 645 00:34:42,559 --> 00:34:47,062 Your leadership skills couldn't get us out of a t-shirt! 646 00:34:51,435 --> 00:34:52,934 [doorbell chimes] 647 00:34:52,936 --> 00:34:55,003 I'll get it! 648 00:34:56,240 --> 00:34:57,372 Hi! Hi! Hi! 649 00:34:57,374 --> 00:34:59,508 Hi. Come in. 650 00:35:06,417 --> 00:35:09,251 I don't believe in out-of-body experiences. 651 00:35:09,253 --> 00:35:11,953 That's because you hold your emotions back. 652 00:35:11,955 --> 00:35:13,872 Do not. 653 00:35:13,873 --> 00:35:15,790 What do you think of this color? 654 00:35:15,793 --> 00:35:16,858 That's all right. 655 00:35:16,860 --> 00:35:20,162 I don't think it really goes in here. 656 00:35:20,164 --> 00:35:21,229 Clashes with the bars. 657 00:35:21,231 --> 00:35:23,899 You can't really say you're an expressive person. 658 00:35:23,901 --> 00:35:27,169 What do you think of this color here? 659 00:35:27,171 --> 00:35:29,337 Clashes with the bars. 660 00:35:29,339 --> 00:35:31,706 See? I told you. 661 00:35:31,708 --> 00:35:34,543 Coming this fall... 662 00:35:36,713 --> 00:35:39,514 ¶ row, row, row your boat ¶ 663 00:35:39,516 --> 00:35:41,883 ¶ gently down the stream ¶ 664 00:35:41,885 --> 00:35:43,385 ¶ merrily, merrily, merrily... ¶ 665 00:35:43,387 --> 00:35:45,754 These kids are driving me crazy! 666 00:35:45,756 --> 00:35:48,256 Wish there was some way to shut them up! 667 00:35:48,258 --> 00:35:51,560 [announcer] for those long, tedious car trips, you need... 668 00:35:51,562 --> 00:35:53,862 The silencer of the lambs. 669 00:35:53,864 --> 00:35:57,499 Driving will never be the same. 670 00:35:59,236 --> 00:36:03,305 Silencer of the pets sold separately. 671 00:36:03,941 --> 00:36:07,642 It's... 672 00:36:15,953 --> 00:36:17,886 My bike. 673 00:36:20,023 --> 00:36:23,024 That's my bike. 674 00:36:24,962 --> 00:36:28,296 You saw a bike like yours on tv. 675 00:36:28,298 --> 00:36:28,964 So what? 676 00:36:28,966 --> 00:36:31,299 Not a bike like my bike. 677 00:36:31,301 --> 00:36:32,634 My bike! Come on. 678 00:36:32,636 --> 00:36:34,536 Stop it! Leave me alone. 679 00:36:34,538 --> 00:36:36,304 Look, there's something else. 680 00:36:36,306 --> 00:36:41,042 I found this on the ground near the dish. 681 00:36:45,916 --> 00:36:46,781 Mom's watch. 682 00:36:46,783 --> 00:36:48,917 It stopped at 10:30. 683 00:36:48,919 --> 00:36:51,753 This is going to sound totally crazy, 684 00:36:51,755 --> 00:36:54,539 But i don't think 685 00:36:54,540 --> 00:36:57,324 Mom and dad went to the mountains for the weekend. 686 00:36:57,327 --> 00:37:00,161 Come on, diane! 687 00:37:00,163 --> 00:37:04,232 Look, i'm sure it's nothing to worry about, o.K.? 688 00:37:04,234 --> 00:37:06,167 Now leave us alone! 689 00:37:06,169 --> 00:37:07,969 Diane, whatever you do, 690 00:37:07,971 --> 00:37:11,072 Don't go in the back yard, o.K.? 691 00:37:11,074 --> 00:37:14,309 Don't go in the back yard! 692 00:37:15,879 --> 00:37:17,045 If you'll excuse me, 693 00:37:17,047 --> 00:37:18,947 I'm off to warmer megahertz. 694 00:37:18,949 --> 00:37:20,982 Going to find a channel with sun, 695 00:37:20,984 --> 00:37:23,718 Funny drinks with those little umbrellas, 696 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:26,221 And maybe a dog track. 697 00:37:29,259 --> 00:37:31,226 All clear. 698 00:37:33,797 --> 00:37:34,930 [grrr] 699 00:37:34,932 --> 00:37:36,998 Hey! Aah! 700 00:37:39,436 --> 00:37:43,838 I'm already dead! Save her! 701 00:37:59,723 --> 00:38:01,556 We got to get to that conduit! 702 00:38:01,558 --> 00:38:04,426 Roy, it's getting worse! 703 00:38:04,962 --> 00:38:08,229 Wait, wait, wait. I got an idea. 704 00:38:08,231 --> 00:38:10,765 Push! Come on, now. 705 00:38:26,316 --> 00:38:27,449 There it is. 706 00:38:27,451 --> 00:38:29,784 There it is! 707 00:38:30,988 --> 00:38:32,921 Come on. 708 00:38:35,492 --> 00:38:37,258 [grrr] 709 00:38:58,949 --> 00:38:59,948 Jump. 710 00:38:59,950 --> 00:39:02,551 Jump? 711 00:39:02,552 --> 00:39:05,153 Wherever it leads can't be any worse than this. 712 00:39:21,338 --> 00:39:22,470 Yeow! 713 00:39:22,472 --> 00:39:24,105 Umph! 714 00:39:26,977 --> 00:39:29,944 Couldn't be any worse, huh, roy? 715 00:39:29,946 --> 00:39:31,379 Helen? 716 00:39:31,381 --> 00:39:32,814 Oh, my god! 717 00:39:32,816 --> 00:39:35,016 We're cartoons. 718 00:39:36,219 --> 00:39:37,852 Boy, this is strange. 719 00:39:37,854 --> 00:39:40,722 Strange? I'm an animated rodent 720 00:39:40,724 --> 00:39:42,991 Wearing high-heeled running shoes. 721 00:39:42,993 --> 00:39:46,361 The word "strange" is somehow lacking. 722 00:39:57,174 --> 00:39:58,940 At least we're safe here. 723 00:39:58,942 --> 00:40:01,843 No one ever dies in cartoons, right? 724 00:40:01,845 --> 00:40:03,945 Ralph, i left some food out. 725 00:40:03,947 --> 00:40:06,281 I hope it doesn't attract any mice. 726 00:40:06,283 --> 00:40:08,983 Don't worry. That new device is guaranteed. 727 00:40:08,985 --> 00:40:12,220 No rodent stands a chance in there. 728 00:40:22,299 --> 00:40:24,065 Stay tuned. 729 00:40:24,735 --> 00:40:27,235 How can you even think of eating doughnuts 730 00:40:27,237 --> 00:40:28,570 At a time like this? 731 00:40:28,572 --> 00:40:32,340 Should i look for some oat bran? I'm starved. 732 00:40:32,342 --> 00:40:35,110 If you don't come down, i'm leaving. 733 00:40:35,112 --> 00:40:38,213 Where you going to go, your cartoon mother's house? 734 00:40:38,215 --> 00:40:41,082 I am warning you, roy. 735 00:40:42,085 --> 00:40:44,486 Roy? 736 00:40:44,487 --> 00:40:46,888 Wow! These things are as big as buicks. 737 00:40:46,890 --> 00:40:49,090 I'm gone. That's it. 738 00:40:49,092 --> 00:40:52,360 I said we're through, and we are through. 739 00:40:52,362 --> 00:40:54,796 I can do better on my own. 740 00:40:54,798 --> 00:40:58,767 I am not a mouse. I'm helen knable. 741 00:40:58,769 --> 00:41:00,468 I have an mba. 742 00:41:00,470 --> 00:41:03,037 I live at 1532 blue jay court. 743 00:41:03,039 --> 00:41:05,707 I have two beautiful children-- 744 00:41:05,709 --> 00:41:09,410 Who i may never see again. 745 00:41:09,412 --> 00:41:11,780 Mom? 746 00:41:18,955 --> 00:41:20,722 Roy? 747 00:41:29,766 --> 00:41:34,269 Warning--you are trespassing in a human habitation. 748 00:41:34,271 --> 00:41:37,071 The penalty is death. 749 00:41:47,818 --> 00:41:50,652 My doctor was right. 750 00:41:50,653 --> 00:41:53,487 Doughnuts will be the death of me. 751 00:42:14,344 --> 00:42:16,211 [whistle blows] 752 00:42:27,991 --> 00:42:29,257 Aah! Aah! 753 00:42:29,259 --> 00:42:30,892 Aah! Aah! 754 00:42:36,733 --> 00:42:39,100 Would you let go of me? 755 00:42:39,102 --> 00:42:42,570 You have to see this. 756 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:46,090 There. 757 00:42:46,091 --> 00:42:48,141 This will work. It worked on macgyver. 758 00:42:48,144 --> 00:42:50,345 What are you talking about? 759 00:42:50,347 --> 00:42:51,479 Can't you see? 760 00:42:51,481 --> 00:42:54,716 It's mom and dad in the cartoon. 761 00:42:54,718 --> 00:42:56,985 Very funny, pus-head. 762 00:42:56,987 --> 00:43:01,322 Diane, you've got to believe me. 763 00:43:17,908 --> 00:43:22,577 Kids, don't try this at home. 764 00:43:53,510 --> 00:43:56,244 I think we lost them. 765 00:43:56,980 --> 00:43:58,780 What? 766 00:43:58,781 --> 00:44:00,581 For a mouse, you, um, look pretty sexy. 767 00:44:00,583 --> 00:44:03,284 Too bad you didn't like the way i looked 768 00:44:03,286 --> 00:44:04,852 When i was human. 769 00:44:04,854 --> 00:44:06,387 I always did. 770 00:44:06,389 --> 00:44:08,423 News to me. 771 00:44:08,425 --> 00:44:10,024 I'm sorry. 772 00:44:16,599 --> 00:44:17,498 Surrender. 773 00:44:17,500 --> 00:44:19,500 Come out with... 774 00:44:34,551 --> 00:44:38,353 Look! Roy, turn! Turn! 775 00:44:40,423 --> 00:44:42,690 Helen, wait! 776 00:44:48,832 --> 00:44:52,166 This is one clever pussy. 777 00:44:53,336 --> 00:44:54,635 I've watched enough cartoons. 778 00:44:54,637 --> 00:44:56,871 How would an animated character 779 00:44:56,873 --> 00:44:58,506 Handle this? 780 00:45:04,214 --> 00:45:08,449 This will put a permanent crease in his shorts. 781 00:45:11,788 --> 00:45:13,488 [doorbell chimes] 782 00:45:13,490 --> 00:45:16,791 Identify yourself. 783 00:45:16,793 --> 00:45:19,260 Catnip-gram. 784 00:45:29,439 --> 00:45:31,005 [barking] 785 00:45:31,007 --> 00:45:32,540 [meow] 786 00:45:52,562 --> 00:45:56,064 I'll never get out of here. 787 00:46:01,371 --> 00:46:05,506 Deeb-a-deeb-a-deeb-- that's all, folks. 788 00:46:08,011 --> 00:46:11,746 I've lost the feeling in my arm. 789 00:46:11,748 --> 00:46:15,249 All of a sudden, i can't see anything. 790 00:46:15,251 --> 00:46:17,218 Uhh! Oh! 791 00:46:18,221 --> 00:46:21,289 Sundays at 8:00... 792 00:46:21,291 --> 00:46:24,025 It's... 793 00:46:25,962 --> 00:46:27,595 Where did he go? 794 00:46:27,597 --> 00:46:30,264 Duane's underworld. 795 00:46:30,266 --> 00:46:32,667 Duane's underworld. 796 00:46:32,669 --> 00:46:35,870 It's partytime! Excellent! 797 00:46:35,872 --> 00:46:38,206 [guitar riff] 798 00:46:39,342 --> 00:46:42,543 Welcome to duane's underworld, o father of lies. 799 00:46:42,545 --> 00:46:44,011 I'm your excrement host duane, 800 00:46:44,013 --> 00:46:47,882 And with me as always is my slightly decaying cohost garf. 801 00:46:47,884 --> 00:46:48,683 Wifto! Wifto! 802 00:46:48,685 --> 00:46:50,118 Party eternally, garf. 803 00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:51,252 Party eternally, duane. 804 00:46:51,254 --> 00:46:53,754 All right. Today we have a special guest, 805 00:46:53,756 --> 00:46:56,591 A man who can't even sell plumping supplies. 806 00:46:56,593 --> 00:46:59,794 Shhyeah! Like no one uses a toilet. 807 00:46:59,796 --> 00:47:01,496 Mr. Roy knable. 808 00:47:01,498 --> 00:47:03,965 Salutations, o mighty failure. 809 00:47:03,967 --> 00:47:06,968 Mr. Knable, before we get started, 810 00:47:06,970 --> 00:47:10,705 Tell me what you see on this card. 811 00:47:10,707 --> 00:47:13,908 I...War ship...Satin? 812 00:47:13,910 --> 00:47:15,943 Excrement. 813 00:47:17,981 --> 00:47:20,432 Now, i understand 814 00:47:20,433 --> 00:47:22,884 You're searching for your lovely wife helen... 815 00:47:22,886 --> 00:47:25,319 Who i truly believe you will find, 816 00:47:25,321 --> 00:47:28,389 Because good always conquers over evil... 817 00:47:28,391 --> 00:47:30,825 Not! Not! 818 00:47:34,297 --> 00:47:37,231 In order to assist you in your efforts, 819 00:47:37,233 --> 00:47:40,268 We have located a photograph of your wife 820 00:47:40,270 --> 00:47:42,170 To show our viewers. 821 00:47:42,172 --> 00:47:43,804 Where did that come from? 822 00:47:43,806 --> 00:47:45,706 She's a vixen, mr. K. 823 00:47:45,708 --> 00:47:46,941 Beezle-babe! Tent pole! 824 00:47:46,943 --> 00:47:49,644 Lady knable, we salute you. 825 00:47:49,646 --> 00:47:50,711 Schwing! Schwing! 826 00:47:50,713 --> 00:47:52,480 And your daughter's pompoms, 827 00:47:52,482 --> 00:47:54,782 They're delectable, too, man. 828 00:47:54,784 --> 00:47:55,716 You creeps! 829 00:47:55,718 --> 00:48:00,354 Uh-oh. Extreme close-up on mr. Knable. 830 00:48:00,356 --> 00:48:02,156 Oh! Oh! 831 00:48:05,895 --> 00:48:07,528 Excellent. 832 00:48:08,164 --> 00:48:10,264 One more time! 833 00:48:14,103 --> 00:48:15,836 Man, i'm getting dizzy. 834 00:48:15,838 --> 00:48:17,205 I could hurl. 835 00:48:17,207 --> 00:48:18,873 No. Chew it back, man. 836 00:48:18,875 --> 00:48:23,311 Now the red-hot-poker- in-the-eye cam. 837 00:48:36,492 --> 00:48:38,459 Bogus. 838 00:48:39,195 --> 00:48:40,628 I'm black and white. 839 00:48:40,630 --> 00:48:44,031 Hello. Testing, testing. 840 00:48:44,968 --> 00:48:47,768 "roy knable, private dick." 841 00:48:47,770 --> 00:48:50,571 Well, better than being a public dick. 842 00:48:50,573 --> 00:48:55,076 O.K., i'm in some old movie. Must be on cable. 843 00:48:55,078 --> 00:48:57,912 I've been watching these things my whole life. 844 00:48:57,914 --> 00:49:00,047 I should know what to do. 845 00:49:00,049 --> 00:49:02,783 Be like bogart, like in the maltese falcon. 846 00:49:02,785 --> 00:49:05,620 I'm on a case. I got to find helen. 847 00:49:05,622 --> 00:49:07,221 Got to find the clues. 848 00:49:07,223 --> 00:49:11,492 Got to find out how to use this thing. 849 00:49:12,762 --> 00:49:14,595 [intercom buzzes] 850 00:49:14,596 --> 00:49:16,429 Mr. Knable, you've dropped your gun again. 851 00:49:16,432 --> 00:49:18,065 I know! 852 00:49:20,336 --> 00:49:21,769 [knock on door] 853 00:49:21,771 --> 00:49:25,006 Roy, is that you? 854 00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,546 Sir...Great news. 855 00:49:32,548 --> 00:49:34,382 Your new class of recruits-- 856 00:49:34,384 --> 00:49:37,818 We've taken possession of all of them, 857 00:49:37,820 --> 00:49:39,287 Except two, sir. 858 00:49:39,289 --> 00:49:42,423 Oh! I know that, you postulating putz! 859 00:49:42,425 --> 00:49:45,426 They've just been lucky, that's all. 860 00:49:45,428 --> 00:49:46,494 Have they? 861 00:49:46,496 --> 00:49:49,764 You know, the strain of your job 862 00:49:49,766 --> 00:49:50,965 Must be tremendous. 863 00:49:50,967 --> 00:49:52,533 Ever considered taking a vacation, 864 00:49:52,535 --> 00:49:56,370 Letting someone else take the burden off your shoulders? 865 00:49:56,372 --> 00:49:59,040 Someone else? 866 00:49:59,042 --> 00:50:00,041 You? 867 00:50:00,043 --> 00:50:02,143 I'm flattered you'd even think 868 00:50:02,145 --> 00:50:04,111 I could fill your shoes. 869 00:50:04,113 --> 00:50:05,980 But i'm ready to try, sir. 870 00:50:05,982 --> 00:50:09,483 [announcer] and now...Get in shape with the exorcisist. 871 00:50:09,485 --> 00:50:12,420 Come on, people, let's get in shape. 872 00:50:12,422 --> 00:50:15,156 Come on. Make it burn. 873 00:50:15,158 --> 00:50:17,458 Feel it burn. 874 00:50:17,460 --> 00:50:18,459 [explosion] 875 00:50:18,461 --> 00:50:20,194 Good, doreen. 876 00:50:20,196 --> 00:50:22,930 O.K., everybody, head spins. 877 00:50:22,932 --> 00:50:23,898 With me. 878 00:50:23,900 --> 00:50:25,700 Ready, go. 879 00:50:25,935 --> 00:50:28,069 Very good. Very nice. 880 00:50:28,071 --> 00:50:30,338 I like it. 881 00:50:30,340 --> 00:50:31,739 O.K., that's good. 882 00:50:31,741 --> 00:50:33,741 Cool down. Shake it out. 883 00:50:33,743 --> 00:50:35,543 O.K., now vomit. 884 00:50:35,545 --> 00:50:39,413 [announcer] kids, now there's a new beer just for you. 885 00:50:39,415 --> 00:50:41,098 It's got no alcohol, 886 00:50:41,099 --> 00:50:42,782 But it'll make you act just like dad. 887 00:50:42,785 --> 00:50:45,586 [burp] give me another one, babe. 888 00:50:45,588 --> 00:50:47,989 That's my boy. 889 00:50:47,990 --> 00:50:50,391 Yogi beer. You'll be just like your dad. 890 00:50:50,393 --> 00:50:52,927 [channel changer beeps] 891 00:50:54,197 --> 00:50:55,129 Dad? 892 00:50:55,131 --> 00:50:57,698 [voices] 893 00:51:01,003 --> 00:51:03,304 Get away from the dish. 894 00:51:03,306 --> 00:51:05,606 Darryl, what is with you? 895 00:51:05,608 --> 00:51:07,375 Get lost. 896 00:51:10,813 --> 00:51:12,012 [beep] 897 00:51:12,014 --> 00:51:13,848 [beep] 898 00:51:13,850 --> 00:51:14,915 [beep] 899 00:51:14,917 --> 00:51:17,251 5, 6, 7, 8. 900 00:51:20,189 --> 00:51:22,323 5, 6, 7, 8. 901 00:51:25,595 --> 00:51:27,695 5, 6, 7, 8. 902 00:51:27,697 --> 00:51:29,196 Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! 903 00:51:29,198 --> 00:51:30,865 Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! 904 00:51:30,867 --> 00:51:33,401 Darryl, what are you doing? 905 00:51:33,403 --> 00:51:36,137 Darryl! Oh, my god! 906 00:51:36,139 --> 00:51:40,441 Guys, wait! It's not my fault my brother's a creep! 907 00:51:40,443 --> 00:51:42,076 [door slams] 908 00:51:42,512 --> 00:51:44,211 Darryl! 909 00:51:44,213 --> 00:51:45,846 Darryl! 910 00:51:45,848 --> 00:51:47,648 Darryl! 911 00:51:52,054 --> 00:51:53,387 You're pizza topping! 912 00:51:53,389 --> 00:51:56,357 Wait. Mom and dad are here. 913 00:51:56,359 --> 00:51:58,192 They're home? 914 00:51:58,461 --> 00:52:01,328 Well, not exactly. 915 00:52:01,330 --> 00:52:02,863 Look. 916 00:52:06,502 --> 00:52:08,669 See? That's dad. 917 00:52:08,671 --> 00:52:11,038 That is not dad. 918 00:52:14,310 --> 00:52:15,810 Mom? 919 00:52:16,746 --> 00:52:19,330 That looks like mom. 920 00:52:19,331 --> 00:52:21,915 It is mom. That's what i've been trying to tell you. 921 00:52:21,918 --> 00:52:25,553 Our parents are trapped in television. 922 00:52:25,988 --> 00:52:27,655 Oh, wow. 923 00:52:27,657 --> 00:52:29,423 "classy dame vanishes. 924 00:52:29,425 --> 00:52:32,660 Last seen at club seidenbaum." 925 00:52:33,463 --> 00:52:35,196 Helen. 926 00:52:35,198 --> 00:52:36,263 Seidenbaum. 927 00:52:36,265 --> 00:52:37,431 That name is famil-- 928 00:52:37,433 --> 00:52:39,233 Oh, my god. Murray seidenbaum. 929 00:52:39,235 --> 00:52:41,001 He lives right near me. 930 00:52:41,003 --> 00:52:43,137 He borrowed my lawn mower. 931 00:52:43,139 --> 00:52:46,073 [beep beep beep] 932 00:52:47,376 --> 00:52:49,376 Obviously, we're dealing with something 933 00:52:49,378 --> 00:52:51,045 Of a supernatural nature here, diane. 934 00:52:51,047 --> 00:52:55,616 I mean, this thing, it did not come from radio shack. 935 00:52:55,618 --> 00:52:59,887 Yeah, so you're the smart one. Think of something. 936 00:52:59,889 --> 00:53:02,740 O.K., um... 937 00:53:02,741 --> 00:53:05,592 What goes in a dish and winds up on tv? 938 00:53:05,595 --> 00:53:07,862 My bike... 939 00:53:07,864 --> 00:53:09,730 Our parents... 940 00:53:11,934 --> 00:53:13,534 Follow me. 941 00:53:21,277 --> 00:53:23,978 Hey, not my stereo. 942 00:53:23,980 --> 00:53:25,379 I need the parts. 943 00:53:25,381 --> 00:53:27,314 Go downstairs and watch them. 944 00:53:27,316 --> 00:53:29,683 Keep track of them. 945 00:53:38,027 --> 00:53:42,796 Ho ho. Nice work, boys. 946 00:53:43,799 --> 00:53:46,500 Glad you could join me, mrs. Knable. 947 00:53:46,502 --> 00:53:48,269 Didn't have much choice. 948 00:53:48,271 --> 00:53:50,104 Lobster? 949 00:53:50,106 --> 00:53:51,639 Drink. 950 00:53:51,908 --> 00:53:53,941 Where's my husband? 951 00:53:53,943 --> 00:53:55,075 Why worry about him? 952 00:53:55,077 --> 00:53:57,177 I ditched my wife five channels ago. 953 00:53:57,179 --> 00:54:02,249 She happened to meet the business end of a 50-ton reptile. 954 00:54:02,251 --> 00:54:03,918 And i can tell you, 955 00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:07,087 I don't exactly miss dried meat loaf. 956 00:54:07,089 --> 00:54:09,023 This is great here. Great. 957 00:54:09,025 --> 00:54:11,458 I don't ever want to get out. 958 00:54:11,460 --> 00:54:14,094 Outside, i was murray the doormat. 959 00:54:14,096 --> 00:54:17,665 In here... Boss seidenbaum. 960 00:54:18,768 --> 00:54:21,068 Brought my remote in with me. 961 00:54:21,070 --> 00:54:24,238 Gets too hot--bam, i'm on another channel. 962 00:54:24,240 --> 00:54:26,407 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 963 00:54:26,409 --> 00:54:27,975 Aah! Aah! 964 00:54:27,977 --> 00:54:28,943 Oh! Oh! 965 00:54:28,945 --> 00:54:31,612 You're not coming in here! 966 00:54:34,784 --> 00:54:36,517 Euh! Euh! 967 00:54:36,519 --> 00:54:37,651 Ahhh! 968 00:54:37,653 --> 00:54:40,054 Well, look who showed up. 969 00:54:40,056 --> 00:54:41,055 Where's my-- 970 00:54:41,057 --> 00:54:41,789 Hello, roy. 971 00:54:41,791 --> 00:54:43,123 Helen, you're all right. 972 00:54:43,125 --> 00:54:45,826 You-- you look terrific! 973 00:54:45,828 --> 00:54:47,094 Oh, really? 974 00:54:47,096 --> 00:54:50,931 Hey, seidenbaum! I'm taking over your business! 975 00:54:50,933 --> 00:54:54,201 Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! 976 00:55:15,958 --> 00:55:17,424 Seidenbaum. 977 00:55:17,426 --> 00:55:19,660 Knables. 978 00:55:19,661 --> 00:55:21,895 All i wanted was to be the big shot for once. 979 00:55:21,897 --> 00:55:24,164 Take my remote. Get out of here. 980 00:55:24,166 --> 00:55:29,036 You two still got a chance of making it together. 981 00:55:33,309 --> 00:55:34,708 There it is! 982 00:55:34,710 --> 00:55:36,176 No, no, stay down. 983 00:55:36,178 --> 00:55:38,379 This is my job. 984 00:56:03,172 --> 00:56:05,172 Piece of cake. 985 00:56:05,174 --> 00:56:05,939 O.K., ready? 986 00:56:05,941 --> 00:56:08,242 [channel changer beeps] 987 00:56:08,244 --> 00:56:09,910 [neigh] 988 00:56:14,650 --> 00:56:17,051 Oh, my god. I lost them. 989 00:56:17,053 --> 00:56:21,422 The next item we have for you on the... 990 00:56:23,325 --> 00:56:26,093 Dad, where are you? 991 00:56:26,094 --> 00:56:28,862 And now the all-new miniseries about the french revolution... 992 00:56:28,864 --> 00:56:31,665 The story of the marquis de knable, 993 00:56:31,667 --> 00:56:33,417 An enemy of the people, 994 00:56:33,418 --> 00:56:35,168 Who wears a disguise to escape the guillotine. 995 00:56:35,171 --> 00:56:39,773 It's an epic drama of love, danger, and cross-dressing. 996 00:56:46,782 --> 00:56:48,282 Roy. 997 00:56:49,285 --> 00:56:51,819 You have boobs. 998 00:56:53,255 --> 00:56:55,622 Oh, they're not mine. 999 00:57:05,167 --> 00:57:09,403 [shouting in french] 1000 00:57:12,007 --> 00:57:14,808 Psst! Hey, knables. 1001 00:57:18,948 --> 00:57:20,047 Nice disguise. 1002 00:57:20,049 --> 00:57:21,082 Crowley? 1003 00:57:21,083 --> 00:57:22,116 Interesting concept, diagonal boobs. 1004 00:57:22,118 --> 00:57:24,618 Could you fix that thing? 1005 00:57:24,620 --> 00:57:26,954 Thought the wolves got you. 1006 00:57:26,956 --> 00:57:29,022 Tell you something about wolves-- 1007 00:57:29,024 --> 00:57:30,724 Vicious? Goes without saying. 1008 00:57:30,726 --> 00:57:32,927 But not that bright. 1009 00:57:32,928 --> 00:57:35,129 While those dumb bunnies were fighting over my appendages, 1010 00:57:35,131 --> 00:57:37,264 I managed to escape. 1011 00:57:37,265 --> 00:57:39,398 Liberte, citizen. Vive la france! 1012 00:57:39,401 --> 00:57:40,901 Power to the people! 1013 00:57:40,903 --> 00:57:44,705 Ha ha ha ha! Come on. 1014 00:57:51,413 --> 00:57:53,547 Personally, i think he's losing it. 1015 00:57:53,549 --> 00:57:55,582 What a pathetic thing to watch. 1016 00:57:55,584 --> 00:57:59,319 Only 2 hours left, and your 24 hours are up. 1017 00:57:59,321 --> 00:58:02,656 All you got to do is lie low. 1018 00:58:02,658 --> 00:58:03,991 [speaking french] 1019 00:58:03,992 --> 00:58:05,325 Les cops. Les cops. 1020 00:58:05,327 --> 00:58:06,710 Inside. Inside. 1021 00:58:06,711 --> 00:58:08,094 I'll find a conduit out of here. 1022 00:58:08,097 --> 00:58:13,433 Bonjour. Nice day for an execution, non? 1023 00:58:13,836 --> 00:58:16,253 [the marseillaise plays] 1024 00:58:16,254 --> 00:58:18,671 Stay tuned for the final chapter of off with his head, 1025 00:58:18,674 --> 00:58:21,975 When the marquis de knable finally loses his. 1026 00:58:21,977 --> 00:58:23,510 Uh-oh. 1027 00:58:26,482 --> 00:58:27,648 Darryl! 1028 00:58:27,650 --> 00:58:28,949 We got to jam. 1029 00:58:28,951 --> 00:58:31,985 [beep beep] 1030 00:58:32,388 --> 00:58:33,887 Merci. 1031 00:58:33,889 --> 00:58:38,559 Well, we've always wanted to go to paris. 1032 00:58:38,794 --> 00:58:41,395 In the 20th century. 1033 00:58:41,396 --> 00:58:43,997 Since we're here, we might as well make the best of it. 1034 00:58:43,999 --> 00:58:45,566 Make the best of it? 1035 00:58:45,568 --> 00:58:47,234 This is the french revolution. 1036 00:58:47,236 --> 00:58:48,969 People are trying to kill you. 1037 00:58:48,971 --> 00:58:52,639 If we get out of this, things will be different. 1038 00:58:52,641 --> 00:58:54,908 I won't just be a watcher. 1039 00:58:54,910 --> 00:58:57,678 I'll be the man i was when we first met. 1040 00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:02,716 You weren't blond then, and you wore a lot less make-up. 1041 00:59:07,356 --> 00:59:12,092 [darryl] aim it at the center of the dish! 1042 00:59:29,445 --> 00:59:32,446 You are both under arrest! 1043 00:59:32,448 --> 00:59:33,146 For what? 1044 00:59:33,148 --> 00:59:35,115 For being too beautiful 1045 00:59:35,117 --> 00:59:37,451 And without proper escort. 1046 00:59:37,453 --> 00:59:38,452 Ha ha ha! 1047 00:59:38,454 --> 00:59:41,388 Garcon, more wine! 1048 00:59:44,927 --> 00:59:47,928 [beep beep] 1049 00:59:54,536 --> 00:59:57,871 O.K. Tv's connected to the dish. 1050 00:59:57,873 --> 01:00:00,440 Now we go for contact. 1051 01:00:17,192 --> 01:00:18,825 There's no interference. 1052 01:00:18,827 --> 01:00:21,428 Nothing's getting through. 1053 01:00:21,764 --> 01:00:23,563 We need more power. 1054 01:00:23,565 --> 01:00:26,733 I'm going to cop some juice. 1055 01:00:27,102 --> 01:00:28,001 Be careful. 1056 01:00:28,003 --> 01:00:30,871 This woman is not who you think. 1057 01:00:30,873 --> 01:00:31,972 She is wanted. 1058 01:00:31,974 --> 01:00:35,008 Of course she's wanted, you fool! 1059 01:00:35,010 --> 01:00:36,109 By me! 1060 01:00:36,111 --> 01:00:38,011 My cherie... 1061 01:00:38,013 --> 01:00:40,547 You inflame me. 1062 01:00:40,549 --> 01:00:43,550 I never kiss on the first date. 1063 01:00:43,552 --> 01:00:44,284 Oh? 1064 01:00:44,286 --> 01:00:46,587 Ooh! Naughty boy. 1065 01:00:46,588 --> 01:00:48,889 This has been a kick, fellas, but we've got to go. 1066 01:00:48,891 --> 01:00:51,725 No, no! Come back here, sweetheart! 1067 01:00:51,727 --> 01:00:53,360 Keep your hands off her! 1068 01:00:53,362 --> 01:00:57,931 Your hair's so beautiful. May i have a lock of it? 1069 01:00:57,933 --> 01:00:58,799 I-- 1070 01:00:58,801 --> 01:01:00,351 Oh! Oh! 1071 01:01:00,352 --> 01:01:01,902 Why don't you keep the whole thing? 1072 01:01:01,904 --> 01:01:03,370 I tried to tell you! 1073 01:01:03,372 --> 01:01:05,806 It's the marquis de knable! 1074 01:01:05,808 --> 01:01:08,208 Enemy of the people! 1075 01:01:08,210 --> 01:01:10,711 I knew that! 1076 01:01:11,647 --> 01:01:13,613 Marquis de knable... 1077 01:01:13,615 --> 01:01:15,482 The guillotine awaits! 1078 01:01:15,484 --> 01:01:19,786 I would have given you chocolates. 1079 01:01:19,788 --> 01:01:22,622 [beep beep] 1080 01:01:48,751 --> 01:01:51,151 Kill the marquis! Kill the marquis! 1081 01:01:51,153 --> 01:01:54,087 I'm telling you, i'm not a marquis! 1082 01:01:54,089 --> 01:01:57,424 I sell plumbing supplies in seattle... 1083 01:01:57,426 --> 01:01:59,059 Washington! 1084 01:02:08,871 --> 01:02:10,470 [grrr] 1085 01:02:10,472 --> 01:02:11,471 Roy! 1086 01:02:11,473 --> 01:02:12,606 Roy! Roy! 1087 01:02:12,608 --> 01:02:14,908 I love you. 1088 01:02:14,910 --> 01:02:17,377 You guys are making a big mistake. 1089 01:02:17,379 --> 01:02:19,980 I'm not even a member of this country! 1090 01:02:19,982 --> 01:02:23,216 Darryl, you'd better hurry up! 1091 01:02:23,218 --> 01:02:24,217 [grrr] 1092 01:02:24,219 --> 01:02:25,385 [grrr] 1093 01:02:25,387 --> 01:02:27,204 Kill the marquis! 1094 01:02:27,205 --> 01:02:29,022 Hi, fellas, i loved you in star wars. 1095 01:02:29,024 --> 01:02:31,958 Can we just talk for a second? 1096 01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:33,527 Oh, my god. Holy-- 1097 01:02:33,529 --> 01:02:35,629 Oh! Could we-- 1098 01:02:37,499 --> 01:02:38,498 [grrr] 1099 01:02:38,500 --> 01:02:39,866 [woof] 1100 01:02:39,868 --> 01:02:41,802 [grrr] 1101 01:02:41,804 --> 01:02:44,404 [shouting] 1102 01:02:45,307 --> 01:02:47,457 Any last requests? 1103 01:02:47,458 --> 01:02:49,608 Yeah. How about the long version of stairway to heaven? 1104 01:02:49,611 --> 01:02:54,648 I'm afraid that is not where you are going. 1105 01:02:59,388 --> 01:03:00,420 Darryl! 1106 01:03:00,422 --> 01:03:02,222 [grrr] 1107 01:03:02,224 --> 01:03:04,157 [grrr] 1108 01:03:04,626 --> 01:03:06,893 [grrr] 1109 01:03:07,362 --> 01:03:08,895 [woof] 1110 01:03:10,299 --> 01:03:11,631 [grrr] 1111 01:03:11,633 --> 01:03:13,567 Here, catch! 1112 01:03:16,004 --> 01:03:20,307 Wait! An innocent man's blood is being spilled! 1113 01:03:20,309 --> 01:03:21,208 Good point. 1114 01:03:21,210 --> 01:03:22,442 Better back away. 1115 01:03:22,444 --> 01:03:26,646 This one, he could be a gusher. 1116 01:03:31,186 --> 01:03:33,370 By order of the court... 1117 01:03:33,371 --> 01:03:35,555 Looks like spike's going to make his quota after all. 1118 01:03:35,557 --> 01:03:38,158 I deliver the marquis de knable's soul 1119 01:03:38,160 --> 01:03:40,193 To its rightful owner! 1120 01:03:40,195 --> 01:03:43,163 Finally, he's mine. 1121 01:03:58,947 --> 01:04:02,782 How come he dresses like a woman? 1122 01:04:02,784 --> 01:04:05,118 I do that sometimes. 1123 01:04:14,863 --> 01:04:17,197 Kill the marquis! 1124 01:04:27,176 --> 01:04:29,876 Dad, can you hear me? 1125 01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:34,014 Darryl? My god! 1126 01:04:34,516 --> 01:04:36,283 God? 1127 01:04:39,454 --> 01:04:41,288 Yes! 1128 01:04:41,290 --> 01:04:42,422 It's... 1129 01:04:42,424 --> 01:04:43,924 God! 1130 01:04:46,295 --> 01:04:48,528 Right, god? 1131 01:04:48,530 --> 01:04:52,032 Tell the infidels to release him. 1132 01:04:52,034 --> 01:04:53,133 What's an infidel? 1133 01:04:53,135 --> 01:04:54,301 I don't know. 1134 01:04:54,303 --> 01:04:56,069 Tell them to release him! 1135 01:04:56,071 --> 01:04:57,954 Tell them! 1136 01:04:57,955 --> 01:04:59,838 Um...Um...Release the marquis. 1137 01:04:59,841 --> 01:05:02,676 You heard him. Get me out of this. 1138 01:05:02,678 --> 01:05:03,777 What's happening? 1139 01:05:03,779 --> 01:05:04,878 [beep beep] 1140 01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:07,347 Who's messing with my programming? 1141 01:05:07,349 --> 01:05:09,616 [beep beep beep] 1142 01:05:09,618 --> 01:05:12,586 You--the weenie in black-- 1143 01:05:12,588 --> 01:05:14,454 You, dork-- 1144 01:05:14,456 --> 01:05:15,889 At the wheel-- 1145 01:05:15,891 --> 01:05:17,791 Yeah, you! 1146 01:05:17,793 --> 01:05:19,893 Release him! 1147 01:05:20,796 --> 01:05:23,630 I am the voice of-- 1148 01:05:28,136 --> 01:05:30,770 Ohhh... Oh, roy! 1149 01:05:31,406 --> 01:05:33,807 We beat spike! We did it! 1150 01:05:33,809 --> 01:05:39,646 I would have given an arm and a leg to see this! 1151 01:05:39,648 --> 01:05:41,615 In fact, i already did! 1152 01:05:41,617 --> 01:05:43,850 Ha ha ha! No, it's... 1153 01:05:43,852 --> 01:05:44,818 Not possible. 1154 01:05:44,820 --> 01:05:48,288 [beep beep beep] 1155 01:05:48,290 --> 01:05:51,124 [alarm warbling] 1156 01:05:54,529 --> 01:05:57,530 Sir. Speaking for the staff... 1157 01:05:57,532 --> 01:06:02,535 We'll all miss your kind words and inspiring leadership. 1158 01:06:05,007 --> 01:06:06,573 Ducker, contracts-- 1159 01:06:06,575 --> 01:06:07,691 What? 1160 01:06:07,692 --> 01:06:08,808 There was a protest 1161 01:06:08,810 --> 01:06:11,061 Filed on the knable case. 1162 01:06:11,062 --> 01:06:13,313 A verbal contract binds only those parties personally making the agreement. 1163 01:06:13,315 --> 01:06:17,317 Therefore, the contract can only be for one person. 1164 01:06:17,319 --> 01:06:19,052 You took two. 1165 01:06:19,054 --> 01:06:20,587 Yes. 1166 01:06:23,225 --> 01:06:24,724 Yes. 1167 01:06:25,394 --> 01:06:28,228 Yes! Yes! Oh! 1168 01:06:28,230 --> 01:06:29,947 Mmm! 1169 01:06:29,948 --> 01:06:31,665 Oh, you're the ugliest bitch in perdition, 1170 01:06:31,667 --> 01:06:34,367 But you gave me a beautiful idea. 1171 01:06:34,369 --> 01:06:36,102 Discharge mr. Knable. 1172 01:06:36,104 --> 01:06:37,337 But, sir... 1173 01:06:37,339 --> 01:06:39,773 The contract was for him only. 1174 01:06:39,775 --> 01:06:42,175 Masterful stroke, sir. 1175 01:06:42,177 --> 01:06:44,377 I don't get it. 1176 01:06:44,880 --> 01:06:48,381 They should've zapped you two home by now. 1177 01:06:48,383 --> 01:06:50,283 You heard me... 1178 01:06:50,285 --> 01:06:53,320 Discharge mr. Knable. 1179 01:06:58,260 --> 01:06:59,592 Roy? 1180 01:06:59,594 --> 01:07:00,694 Roy! 1181 01:07:00,696 --> 01:07:02,829 Oh! Oh! 1182 01:07:17,179 --> 01:07:18,178 [darryl] dad! 1183 01:07:18,180 --> 01:07:19,879 [diane] dad! 1184 01:07:21,616 --> 01:07:23,717 Where's your mother? 1185 01:07:23,718 --> 01:07:25,819 My obligation is limited to those i have a contract with. 1186 01:07:25,821 --> 01:07:28,788 I fulfilled my end by discharging mr. Knable. 1187 01:07:28,790 --> 01:07:30,840 His wife is still-- 1188 01:07:30,841 --> 01:07:32,891 Those who trespass into the system are on their own. 1189 01:07:32,894 --> 01:07:35,061 We'll sort out the bodies later 1190 01:07:35,063 --> 01:07:36,863 After i kill them both. 1191 01:07:36,865 --> 01:07:39,699 How can we be sure he'll come back? 1192 01:07:39,701 --> 01:07:42,469 Because he loves her. He's a puss. 1193 01:07:42,471 --> 01:07:44,204 Oh, and i'll be back, 1194 01:07:44,206 --> 01:07:46,306 In case anyone's feeling ambitious. 1195 01:07:46,308 --> 01:07:49,943 Well, time to rock 'n' roll. 1196 01:07:52,981 --> 01:07:54,681 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1197 01:07:54,683 --> 01:07:57,017 Crowley. 1198 01:07:57,018 --> 01:07:59,352 Quite a radical weight-loss plan you've been on. 1199 01:07:59,354 --> 01:08:01,287 Yes. Ha ha ha. 1200 01:08:01,289 --> 01:08:03,289 Ha ha ha. 1201 01:08:03,792 --> 01:08:06,793 But, uh...Feeling a lot, uh, better. 1202 01:08:06,795 --> 01:08:09,162 Ha ha ha! 1203 01:08:09,164 --> 01:08:10,563 Aah! 1204 01:08:10,565 --> 01:08:12,665 Hello, mrs. Knable. 1205 01:08:12,667 --> 01:08:15,902 Mr. Spike, at your service. 1206 01:08:15,904 --> 01:08:18,271 Where's my husband? 1207 01:08:18,273 --> 01:08:20,440 I'll take you to him. 1208 01:08:20,442 --> 01:08:22,242 Rahrr. 1209 01:08:22,944 --> 01:08:25,412 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1210 01:08:29,751 --> 01:08:31,551 Howdy, ma'am. 1211 01:08:31,552 --> 01:08:33,352 Reckon the 3:10 to yuma will be along any minute. 1212 01:08:33,355 --> 01:08:37,590 Funny thing, though... It don't exactly stop here. 1213 01:08:37,592 --> 01:08:39,626 You're going to hit me with a train? 1214 01:08:39,628 --> 01:08:43,763 What can i say? I'm a sucker for a big ending. 1215 01:08:43,765 --> 01:08:45,498 You sadistic bastard. 1216 01:08:45,500 --> 01:08:46,566 Runs in the family. 1217 01:08:46,568 --> 01:08:49,068 My father was an oil company president. 1218 01:08:49,070 --> 01:08:52,906 Well...Have a good day, mrs. Knable. 1219 01:08:54,209 --> 01:08:56,910 [beep] 1220 01:08:56,912 --> 01:08:57,944 This just in... 1221 01:08:57,946 --> 01:09:00,079 Helen knable has been kidnapped 1222 01:09:00,081 --> 01:09:04,117 And taken to channel 1. We take you there live. 1223 01:09:04,119 --> 01:09:07,420 Roy, wherever you are, get your butt back here! 1224 01:09:07,422 --> 01:09:10,957 Unfortunately, her gutless failure of a husband 1225 01:09:10,959 --> 01:09:13,827 Won't lift a finger to save her. 1226 01:09:13,829 --> 01:09:14,961 Right, roy? 1227 01:09:14,963 --> 01:09:16,463 No. 1228 01:09:22,737 --> 01:09:28,308 Dynamite. He's going to hit me with a train and blow me up? 1229 01:09:28,310 --> 01:09:29,976 Roy! 1230 01:09:29,978 --> 01:09:32,178 I want you both to stay inside. 1231 01:09:32,180 --> 01:09:34,180 Make sure those doughnuts are ready. 1232 01:09:34,182 --> 01:09:37,317 I'll be very hungry when i get back. 1233 01:09:37,319 --> 01:09:38,852 O.K.? 1234 01:09:39,187 --> 01:09:41,554 [darryl] careful, dad. 1235 01:09:56,004 --> 01:10:02,575 [theme from the good, the bad, and the ugly plays] 1236 01:10:09,784 --> 01:10:10,683 [cough] 1237 01:10:10,685 --> 01:10:11,684 [cough cough] 1238 01:10:11,686 --> 01:10:12,919 [cough cough] 1239 01:10:12,921 --> 01:10:13,920 [cough] 1240 01:10:13,922 --> 01:10:14,988 [cough] 1241 01:10:14,990 --> 01:10:16,723 Help! 1242 01:10:18,994 --> 01:10:20,727 Helen? 1243 01:10:20,729 --> 01:10:22,395 Roy! 1244 01:10:31,172 --> 01:10:33,840 Back to play the hero, huh? 1245 01:10:33,842 --> 01:10:36,242 Ha ha ha ha ha! 1246 01:10:36,244 --> 01:10:39,812 Not exactly typecasting. 1247 01:10:40,115 --> 01:10:42,081 Be about 6...6'1". 1248 01:10:42,083 --> 01:10:43,616 Yeah. 1249 01:10:47,355 --> 01:10:50,723 Make your move, tinhorn. 1250 01:10:56,932 --> 01:10:59,599 Today, roy! 1251 01:11:02,571 --> 01:11:04,270 No! 1252 01:11:04,272 --> 01:11:06,372 Dad! Dad! 1253 01:11:20,055 --> 01:11:21,554 [beep beep] 1254 01:11:21,556 --> 01:11:23,623 [beep beep] 1255 01:11:26,261 --> 01:11:29,062 You missed me, partner. 1256 01:11:45,447 --> 01:11:47,647 Captain, the ship has found itself 1257 01:11:47,649 --> 01:11:49,082 In an orbit around hell. 1258 01:11:49,084 --> 01:11:51,150 The underworld is hailing us. 1259 01:11:51,152 --> 01:11:53,152 I know you. 1260 01:11:53,154 --> 01:11:54,621 Greetings, captain roy. 1261 01:11:54,623 --> 01:11:56,856 Our remotes are synchronized, 1262 01:11:56,858 --> 01:11:59,325 So wherever you go, i go. 1263 01:11:59,327 --> 01:12:00,927 Enjoy the attack. 1264 01:12:00,929 --> 01:12:02,862 [alarm warbling] 1265 01:12:02,864 --> 01:12:03,930 Lieutenant? 1266 01:12:03,932 --> 01:12:04,931 Captain? 1267 01:12:04,933 --> 01:12:08,968 G-g...Get us out of here! 1268 01:12:08,970 --> 01:12:10,803 No! 1269 01:12:14,342 --> 01:12:16,509 Phasers on, uh... 1270 01:12:18,113 --> 01:12:19,712 Torture. 1271 01:12:24,819 --> 01:12:27,286 Holy shatner! 1272 01:12:27,922 --> 01:12:29,956 And just to show you how effective 1273 01:12:29,958 --> 01:12:31,758 Our passenger restraint system really is, 1274 01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:34,394 Watch this demonstration at 110 miles an hour, 1275 01:12:34,396 --> 01:12:37,130 Where our driver dummy has the benefit 1276 01:12:37,132 --> 01:12:38,931 Of seat belt and air bag, 1277 01:12:38,933 --> 01:12:41,401 The other dummy having neither one. 1278 01:12:41,403 --> 01:12:43,503 Neither one? 1279 01:12:44,305 --> 01:12:46,806 I can't watch. Switch to mom. 1280 01:12:46,808 --> 01:12:48,274 Switch to mom! 1281 01:12:48,276 --> 01:12:50,810 [train whistle blows] 1282 01:12:57,152 --> 01:12:59,318 Dad'll save her. 1283 01:13:02,390 --> 01:13:04,223 [beep beep] 1284 01:13:04,225 --> 01:13:06,659 Aah! 1285 01:13:16,938 --> 01:13:18,771 Ooh. Rrr! 1286 01:13:22,243 --> 01:13:24,577 No! No, wait! 1287 01:13:25,847 --> 01:13:30,950 Aaaaaahhhhh! 1288 01:13:37,292 --> 01:13:40,960 Hey, lady, watch out! 1289 01:13:53,141 --> 01:13:54,640 Ooh. 1290 01:13:59,147 --> 01:14:00,179 Whoop. 1291 01:14:00,181 --> 01:14:02,715 Aah! 1292 01:14:11,860 --> 01:14:13,793 Yaaahhhh! 1293 01:14:14,596 --> 01:14:15,528 Whoa! 1294 01:14:15,530 --> 01:14:17,163 Unh! Ahh! 1295 01:14:17,165 --> 01:14:18,898 ¶ come and knock on our door ¶ 1296 01:14:18,900 --> 01:14:21,234 ¶ come and knock on our door ¶ 1297 01:14:21,236 --> 01:14:22,101 Where have you been? 1298 01:14:22,103 --> 01:14:24,203 ¶ we've been waitin' for you... ¶ 1299 01:14:24,205 --> 01:14:28,007 Aaaaaahhhh! 1300 01:14:34,349 --> 01:14:36,115 [cough cough] 1301 01:14:38,720 --> 01:14:39,619 My, my. 1302 01:14:39,621 --> 01:14:43,856 Now you'll never get back to kansas. 1303 01:14:45,994 --> 01:14:47,660 En garde. 1304 01:14:50,265 --> 01:14:51,531 Oh, no sword. 1305 01:14:51,533 --> 01:14:55,201 Have to talk to that prop man. 1306 01:15:05,513 --> 01:15:07,413 Right about now, your wife is probably 1307 01:15:07,415 --> 01:15:10,917 Catching that train... Right between the eyes. 1308 01:15:10,919 --> 01:15:13,753 And you let it happen. 1309 01:15:17,759 --> 01:15:19,892 Here it comes, dad! 1310 01:15:22,831 --> 01:15:24,797 I've taken loads of souls... 1311 01:15:24,799 --> 01:15:26,499 And none more pathetic 1312 01:15:26,501 --> 01:15:29,602 Than yours, roy. 1313 01:15:32,841 --> 01:15:35,908 Say good night, gracie. 1314 01:15:37,045 --> 01:15:39,095 Not yet. 1315 01:15:39,096 --> 01:15:41,146 You see, i was captain of my junior college fencing team. 1316 01:15:41,149 --> 01:15:43,649 All right. Co-captain. 1317 01:15:51,926 --> 01:15:54,760 I gave you escape from your pitiful life. 1318 01:15:54,762 --> 01:15:57,029 I want it back. 1319 01:15:57,599 --> 01:15:59,232 All sales are final. 1320 01:15:59,234 --> 01:16:01,067 Not this one. 1321 01:16:09,644 --> 01:16:11,310 ¶ you got to start me ¶ 1322 01:16:11,312 --> 01:16:13,012 ¶ up ¶ 1323 01:16:14,148 --> 01:16:16,983 ¶ start me up ¶ 1324 01:16:19,220 --> 01:16:21,454 ¶ you got to start me up ¶ 1325 01:16:21,456 --> 01:16:22,288 ¶ come down ¶ 1326 01:16:22,290 --> 01:16:24,390 ¶ the "s" to the a-l-t ¶ 1327 01:16:24,392 --> 01:16:25,124 ¶ come down ¶ 1328 01:16:25,126 --> 01:16:26,392 ¶ the love to the b-u-g ¶ 1329 01:16:26,394 --> 01:16:27,427 ¶ come down ¶ 1330 01:16:27,428 --> 01:16:28,461 ¶ the spin to the d-a-rella ¶ 1331 01:16:28,463 --> 01:16:29,812 ¶ come down ¶ 1332 01:16:29,813 --> 01:16:31,162 ¶ s-t-double e-v-e in the "p" ¶ 1333 01:16:31,165 --> 01:16:32,098 ¶ come down ¶ 1334 01:16:32,100 --> 01:16:33,199 The "p" to the e-p-a ¶ 1335 01:16:33,201 --> 01:16:34,801 ¶ come down ¶ 1336 01:16:34,802 --> 01:16:36,402 ¶ the idolmaker's in the house, how ya know? ¶ 1337 01:16:36,404 --> 01:16:37,303 ¶ come down ¶ 1338 01:16:37,305 --> 01:16:38,504 ¶ to the record lord ¶ 1339 01:16:38,506 --> 01:16:39,822 ¶ come down ¶ 1340 01:16:39,823 --> 01:16:41,139 ¶ wait a minute, wait a minute, y'all ¶ 1341 01:16:41,142 --> 01:16:43,242 ¶ let's get serious for a minute ¶ 1342 01:16:43,244 --> 01:16:44,210 ¶ y'all havin' fun? ¶ 1343 01:16:44,211 --> 01:16:45,177 ¶ i'm havin' fun, everybody havin' fun ¶ 1344 01:16:45,179 --> 01:16:47,446 ¶ but you know those times ¶ 1345 01:16:47,448 --> 01:16:48,781 ¶ when you get stressed out ¶ 1346 01:16:48,783 --> 01:16:50,683 ¶ and you wanna give up? ¶ 1347 01:16:50,685 --> 01:16:53,219 ¶ everybody has a time in their life ¶ 1348 01:16:53,221 --> 01:16:55,521 ¶ when things doesn't always go right ¶ 1349 01:16:55,523 --> 01:16:58,491 ¶ it just gets harder every day ¶ 1350 01:16:58,493 --> 01:17:00,126 ¶ and it makes you wanna run away ¶ 1351 01:17:00,128 --> 01:17:03,596 ¶ then i wonder when it will end ¶ 1352 01:17:03,598 --> 01:17:05,631 ¶ can i ever be myself again? ¶ 1353 01:17:05,633 --> 01:17:07,733 ¶ yo, i got hopes, and i got trust ¶ 1354 01:17:07,735 --> 01:17:10,169 ¶ and i got you here to start me up ¶ 1355 01:17:10,171 --> 01:17:11,337 ¶ i'm fed up, fed up ¶ 1356 01:17:11,339 --> 01:17:12,571 ¶ word up, dead up ¶ 1357 01:17:12,573 --> 01:17:13,839 ¶ gotta keep my head up ¶ 1358 01:17:13,841 --> 01:17:15,107 ¶ don't stop or let up ¶ 1359 01:17:15,109 --> 01:17:16,108 ¶ you're sleepin', laid up ¶ 1360 01:17:16,110 --> 01:17:18,144 ¶ time to get your bed made up ¶ 1361 01:17:18,146 --> 01:17:18,978 ¶ always gonna lose it ¶ 1362 01:17:18,980 --> 01:17:20,146 ¶ till your dues get paid up ¶ 1363 01:17:20,148 --> 01:17:20,980 ¶ straight up, wait up ¶ 1364 01:17:20,982 --> 01:17:22,214 ¶ i'm not gamin' or bluffin' ¶ 1365 01:17:22,216 --> 01:17:25,051 ¶ watch television all day doin' nothing ¶ 1366 01:17:25,053 --> 01:17:26,469 ¶ poisoning your liver ¶ 1367 01:17:26,470 --> 01:17:27,886 ¶ looks like you're ready to deliver ¶ 1368 01:17:27,889 --> 01:17:29,722 ¶ yo, salt, i think he gets the scissors ¶ 1369 01:17:29,724 --> 01:17:32,224 ¶ start me up ¶ 1370 01:17:32,226 --> 01:17:34,560 ¶ you got to start me up ¶ 1371 01:17:34,562 --> 01:17:36,562 ¶ start me up ¶ 1372 01:17:36,864 --> 01:17:39,632 ¶ you got to start me up ¶ 1373 01:17:39,634 --> 01:17:41,567 ¶ start me up ¶ 1374 01:17:41,569 --> 01:17:44,170 ¶ you got to start me up ¶ 1375 01:17:44,172 --> 01:17:47,106 ¶ start me up-- ¶ 1376 01:17:53,681 --> 01:17:56,215 ¶ start me up ¶ 1377 01:17:56,217 --> 01:17:58,551 ¶ you got to start me up ¶ 1378 01:17:58,553 --> 01:18:00,519 ¶ start me up ¶ 1379 01:18:00,521 --> 01:18:02,521 ¶ you got to start me up ¶ 1380 01:18:02,523 --> 01:18:04,690 ¶ on the dial, the people gonna fall off ¶ 1381 01:18:04,692 --> 01:18:07,626 ¶ the eeby deeby jam coming at me, big mama ¶ 1382 01:18:07,628 --> 01:18:08,627 ¶ stoppin' at the period ¶ 1383 01:18:08,629 --> 01:18:10,296 ¶ and pause upon the comma ¶ 1384 01:18:10,298 --> 01:18:12,631 ¶ the bis boom bit did a drama for your fodda ¶ 1385 01:18:12,633 --> 01:18:13,699 ¶ tell me, rough ¶ 1386 01:18:13,701 --> 01:18:16,135 ¶ coach man workin' i'm stuck ¶ 1387 01:18:16,137 --> 01:18:18,504 ¶ de-man-a man-a lek-o lek-o ¶ 1388 01:18:18,506 --> 01:18:20,906 ¶ fix the collar on a world, rah ¶ 1389 01:18:20,908 --> 01:18:23,075 ¶ the microchips never fail me ¶ 1390 01:18:23,077 --> 01:18:25,111 ¶ start me up ¶ 1391 01:18:25,113 --> 01:18:27,480 ¶ you got to start me up ¶ 1392 01:18:27,482 --> 01:18:29,515 ¶ start me up ¶ 1393 01:18:29,517 --> 01:18:31,650 ¶ you got to start me ¶ 1394 01:18:31,652 --> 01:18:32,385 ¶ up ¶ 1395 01:18:32,387 --> 01:18:33,686 ¶ well, uh, well, uh ¶ 1396 01:18:33,688 --> 01:18:34,787 ¶ we-heh-heh-hell uh ¶ 1397 01:18:34,789 --> 01:18:36,355 ¶ you're caught in the rain ¶ 1398 01:18:36,357 --> 01:18:37,590 ¶ but you forgot your umbrella ¶ 1399 01:18:37,592 --> 01:18:38,947 ¶ what could you do ¶ 1400 01:18:38,948 --> 01:18:40,303 ¶ punch-a-nella, punch-a-nella? ¶ 1401 01:18:40,304 --> 01:18:41,659 ¶ you're trapped in a cage like an ape called magilla ¶ 1402 01:18:41,662 --> 01:18:44,163 ¶ and now you're ready to throw in the towel ¶ 1403 01:18:44,165 --> 01:18:45,131 ¶ that's kinda foul ¶ 1404 01:18:45,133 --> 01:18:46,232 ¶ you don't give a hoot ¶ 1405 01:18:46,234 --> 01:18:47,199 ¶ like a mute owl ¶ 1406 01:18:47,201 --> 01:18:48,367 ¶ that's not the way i know you to be ¶ 1407 01:18:48,369 --> 01:18:49,869 ¶ you used to be true to me ¶ 1408 01:18:49,871 --> 01:18:52,171 ¶ oo-ee, what you used to do to me ¶ 1409 01:18:52,173 --> 01:18:53,806 ¶ start me up ¶ 1410 01:18:53,808 --> 01:18:56,742 ¶ you got to start me up ¶ 1411 01:18:56,744 --> 01:18:59,712 ¶ start me up... ¶ 1412 01:18:59,714 --> 01:19:00,846 Wait. 1413 01:19:00,848 --> 01:19:02,815 O.K. You got the remote. You win. 1414 01:19:02,817 --> 01:19:04,784 But how about-- just pitching here-- 1415 01:19:04,786 --> 01:19:06,519 You and me working together? 1416 01:19:06,521 --> 01:19:08,988 We could come up with dynamite programming. 1417 01:19:08,990 --> 01:19:10,122 Chairman'd love it. 1418 01:19:10,124 --> 01:19:11,824 Knock him off his hooves. 1419 01:19:11,826 --> 01:19:12,758 We'd be number one. 1420 01:19:12,760 --> 01:19:15,027 Of course, we are the only one, but-- 1421 01:19:15,029 --> 01:19:17,329 You don't get it, do you? 1422 01:19:17,331 --> 01:19:20,132 Without me, you don't get out of here. 1423 01:19:20,134 --> 01:19:23,836 Sorry, spike. You're cancelled. 1424 01:19:27,341 --> 01:19:30,242 ¶ you got to start me up ¶ 1425 01:19:30,244 --> 01:19:32,511 ¶ start me up ¶ 1426 01:19:32,513 --> 01:19:34,080 ¶ you got to start me ¶ 1427 01:19:34,082 --> 01:19:35,781 ¶ up ¶ 1428 01:19:38,453 --> 01:19:39,985 Roy! 1429 01:19:40,788 --> 01:19:43,089 Deactivate escape frequencies. 1430 01:19:43,091 --> 01:19:44,557 What are you doing? 1431 01:19:44,559 --> 01:19:46,959 I've trapped them. 1432 01:19:58,573 --> 01:19:59,405 It's not working! 1433 01:19:59,407 --> 01:20:02,942 Turn it off. Turn it off. 1434 01:20:04,612 --> 01:20:07,847 Turn it off. Turn it off. 1435 01:20:07,849 --> 01:20:10,950 What do you do when you want the tv to go away? 1436 01:20:10,952 --> 01:20:12,084 You turn it 1437 01:20:12,086 --> 01:20:13,619 Off! 1438 01:20:28,536 --> 01:20:30,336 We've lost them. 1439 01:20:30,338 --> 01:20:31,403 Helen... 1440 01:20:31,405 --> 01:20:33,272 We're home! 1441 01:20:33,274 --> 01:20:34,807 Kids! 1442 01:20:35,843 --> 01:20:37,109 Oh! Dad! 1443 01:20:37,111 --> 01:20:39,678 Oh! Oh! 1444 01:20:43,217 --> 01:20:44,750 [dog growls] 1445 01:20:44,752 --> 01:20:48,120 Whoever left the gate open is grounded for a week. 1446 01:20:48,122 --> 01:20:50,122 [woof] 1447 01:20:55,563 --> 01:20:56,862 Check that. 1448 01:20:56,864 --> 01:21:01,567 Whoever left the gate open gets double their allowance. 1449 01:21:03,671 --> 01:21:05,905 Look at that. 1450 01:21:26,827 --> 01:21:28,561 Wetzel! 1451 01:21:28,563 --> 01:21:31,263 Don't get me angry, you worm! 1452 01:21:31,265 --> 01:21:33,098 Get me out of here! 1453 01:21:33,100 --> 01:21:34,700 Put a lid on it, fido. 1454 01:21:34,702 --> 01:21:36,769 O.K., pierce, what do you want? 1455 01:21:36,771 --> 01:21:38,504 Corner office? Name on the door? 1456 01:21:38,506 --> 01:21:40,606 Hello, spike. Heh heh. 1457 01:21:40,608 --> 01:21:42,208 Crowley. 1458 01:21:44,412 --> 01:21:47,079 You know, you're a gentleman and a scholar... 1459 01:21:47,081 --> 01:21:48,047 A fine corporate asset... 1460 01:21:48,049 --> 01:21:50,916 A man who i, personally, like very much. 1461 01:21:50,918 --> 01:21:55,454 Oh, incidentally, spike, nice of you to drop in. 1462 01:21:55,456 --> 01:21:57,723 Ha ha ha ha... 1463 01:21:57,725 --> 01:22:00,926 Ah...That's funny. 1464 01:22:01,629 --> 01:22:03,095 Ah! 1465 01:22:03,097 --> 01:22:04,496 Aah! 1466 01:22:04,498 --> 01:22:07,233 [woof woof] 1467 01:22:08,135 --> 01:22:11,003 I get his parking space. 1468 01:22:11,439 --> 01:22:13,906 So what can i tell you? 1469 01:22:13,908 --> 01:22:15,174 My parents got back together. 1470 01:22:15,176 --> 01:22:18,744 The only tv my dad watches is 60 minutes, 1471 01:22:18,746 --> 01:22:20,212 And he started a new job. 1472 01:22:20,214 --> 01:22:23,882 I guess you could call us a pretty normal family. 1473 01:22:23,884 --> 01:22:27,953 That's if anything is ever normal. 1474 01:22:27,955 --> 01:22:30,322 Who on earth taught you that? 1475 01:22:30,324 --> 01:22:32,391 Uh, i saw it on tv somewhere. 1476 01:22:32,393 --> 01:22:34,126 Some old movie. 1477 01:22:34,127 --> 01:22:35,860 Take my advice, kiddo. Don't watch too much tv. 1478 01:22:35,863 --> 01:22:38,097 It can get you into trouble. 1479 01:22:38,099 --> 01:22:40,399 O.K., fencers. Class dismissed. 1480 01:23:00,988 --> 01:23:04,223 ¶ me and that dude is talkin' ¶ 1481 01:23:05,860 --> 01:23:07,726 ¶ baby, i just love your body ¶ 1482 01:23:07,728 --> 01:23:10,429 ¶ can't believe the feeling when you walk your walk ¶ 1483 01:23:10,431 --> 01:23:12,564 ¶ baby, we don't need no party ¶ 1484 01:23:12,566 --> 01:23:14,700 ¶ you can taste it if you don't like to talk ¶ 1485 01:23:14,702 --> 01:23:17,002 ¶ i used to have a woman who was so shy ¶ 1486 01:23:17,004 --> 01:23:19,271 ¶ never spoke about what she desired ¶ 1487 01:23:19,273 --> 01:23:21,440 ¶ now the door is open, it's open wide ¶ 1488 01:23:21,442 --> 01:23:24,043 ¶ take a little peek and find what's inside ¶ 1489 01:23:24,045 --> 01:23:25,978 ¶ baby, i just love your body ¶ 1490 01:23:25,980 --> 01:23:28,447 ¶ can't believe the feeling when you walk your walk ¶ 1491 01:23:28,449 --> 01:23:30,816 ¶ hey there, we don't need no party ¶ 1492 01:23:30,818 --> 01:23:34,520 ¶ you can taste it, if you want ¶ 1493 01:23:51,172 --> 01:23:53,372 ¶ baby, i just love your body ¶ 1494 01:23:53,374 --> 01:23:56,008 ¶ can't believe the feeling when you walk your walk ¶ 1495 01:23:56,010 --> 01:23:57,976 ¶ baby, we don't need no party ¶ 1496 01:23:57,978 --> 01:24:00,279 ¶ you can taste it if you don't like to talk ¶ 1497 01:24:00,281 --> 01:24:02,648 ¶ used to have a woman who was so shy ¶ 1498 01:24:02,650 --> 01:24:04,917 ¶ never spoke about what she desired ¶ 1499 01:24:04,919 --> 01:24:07,152 ¶ now the door is open, it's open wide ¶ 1500 01:24:07,154 --> 01:24:09,555 ¶ take a little peek and find what's inside ¶ 1501 01:24:09,557 --> 01:24:11,590 ¶ baby, i just love your body ¶ 1502 01:24:11,592 --> 01:24:14,259 ¶ can't believe the feeling when you walk your walk ¶ 1503 01:24:14,261 --> 01:24:16,462 ¶ baby, we don't need no party ¶ 1504 01:24:16,464 --> 01:24:19,732 ¶ you can taste that, if you want ¶ 1505 01:24:32,213 --> 01:24:34,847 Captioning made possible by warner bros. Inc. 1506 01:24:34,849 --> 01:24:38,083 Captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc. 1507 01:24:38,085 --> 01:24:40,386 Captions copyright 1992 morgan creek productions, inc. 1508 01:24:40,388 --> 01:24:45,557 Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute 1509 01:24:47,595 --> 01:24:49,828 ¶ do you want it? ¶ 1510 01:24:58,839 --> 01:25:01,340 ¶ do you want it? ¶ 1511 01:25:13,387 --> 01:25:15,521 ¶ do you want it? ¶ 1512 01:25:22,029 --> 01:25:24,430 ¶ do you want it? ¶ 1513 01:26:03,537 --> 01:26:05,971 ¶ do you want it? ¶ 1514 01:26:06,807 --> 01:26:10,375 ¶ do you--do you want it? ¶ 1515 01:26:12,613 --> 01:26:15,047 ¶ do you want it? ¶ 1516 01:26:16,650 --> 01:26:18,450 ¶ moon's out tonight ¶ 1517 01:26:18,452 --> 01:26:22,521 ¶ the doctor's takin' a walk ¶ 1518 01:26:23,023 --> 01:26:25,891 ¶ awoo ¶ 1519 01:26:27,194 --> 01:26:29,461 ¶ the mic stalker ¶ 1520 01:26:35,769 --> 01:26:37,603 ¶ some dame did me wrong, and i admit it ¶ 1521 01:26:37,605 --> 01:26:39,204 ¶ my temper was a fuse, and you just lit it ¶ 1522 01:26:39,206 --> 01:26:41,406 ¶ and made me right that on a saturday night ¶ 1523 01:26:41,408 --> 01:26:43,008 ¶ that i bit it, the price is death ¶ 1524 01:26:43,010 --> 01:26:44,276 ¶ this is a row, the fight for right ¶ 1525 01:26:44,278 --> 01:26:46,245 ¶ don't get hyped this is my knife strike ¶ 1526 01:26:46,247 --> 01:26:47,446 ¶ no nob, no gun ¶ 1527 01:26:47,447 --> 01:26:48,646 ¶ took my vocals through the mic ¶ 1528 01:26:48,647 --> 01:26:49,846 ¶ it's cold so i pack it in my jacket at night ¶ 1529 01:26:49,850 --> 01:26:52,017 ¶ hey, i live by my mic and die by my mic ¶ 1530 01:26:52,019 --> 01:26:53,702 ¶ no, i live to exist ¶ 1531 01:26:53,703 --> 01:26:55,386 ¶ and i never bid on the great ride to hitch ¶ 1532 01:26:55,389 --> 01:26:56,588 ¶ and while you're dying ¶ 1533 01:26:56,590 --> 01:26:58,156 ¶ your son is cryin', beggin' and yellin' ¶ 1534 01:26:58,158 --> 01:26:59,224 ¶ will i give you pity? Hah! ¶ 1535 01:26:59,226 --> 01:27:00,526 ¶ never would i with all the trouble i'm in ¶ 1536 01:27:00,528 --> 01:27:02,628 ¶ until the devil eat heart out cause i'm hotter than him ¶ 1537 01:27:02,630 --> 01:27:04,897 ¶ the other day kid was rockin' on the corner alone ¶ 1538 01:27:04,899 --> 01:27:06,498 ¶ and i was stroking my microphone ¶ 1539 01:27:06,500 --> 01:27:08,534 ¶ i heard him reciting somebody's record that was sold ¶ 1540 01:27:08,536 --> 01:27:10,736 ¶ though he was five years old i had to adjust some more ¶ 1541 01:27:10,738 --> 01:27:12,804 ¶ teach him a lesson no matter what the age ¶ 1542 01:27:12,806 --> 01:27:14,907 ¶ i'm on a rampage on and off the stage ¶ 1543 01:27:14,909 --> 01:27:16,108 ¶ you wanna copy of my record? ¶ 1544 01:27:16,110 --> 01:27:17,543 ¶ this is what you do ¶ 1545 01:27:17,544 --> 01:27:18,977 ¶ go to the precinct, and they'll give you a few ¶ 1546 01:27:18,979 --> 01:27:22,214 ¶ the mic stalker, stalker, stalker ¶ 1547 01:27:26,820 --> 01:27:29,087 ¶ i got a natural gift, i don't sniff ¶ 1548 01:27:29,089 --> 01:27:30,889 ¶ for a little lift, boy, my mother woulda whipped ¶ 1549 01:27:30,891 --> 01:27:33,725 ¶ i got accused when my mother gave me, never gave me dope ¶ 1550 01:27:33,727 --> 01:27:35,460 ¶ to coke, she say, just say no ¶ 1551 01:27:35,462 --> 01:27:37,362 ¶ it's criminal or premature ¶ 1552 01:27:37,364 --> 01:27:39,264 ¶ it's premeditated literature ¶ 1553 01:27:39,266 --> 01:27:43,101 ¶ the mic stalker, stalker, stalker ¶ 105255