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1
00:00:06,084 --> 00:00:14,519
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2
00:00:28,602 --> 00:00:29,882
Oh, no!
3
00:00:57,522 --> 00:01:00,481
Beach? My Lady?
4
00:01:00,482 --> 00:01:02,282
Frederick?!
5
00:01:20,082 --> 00:01:22,921
Aunt, please,
I have a bit of a head.
6
00:01:22,922 --> 00:01:25,161
God knows, you don't have to tell me
that!
7
00:01:25,162 --> 00:01:27,561
If you wish to retain what little
you have left of it,
8
00:01:27,562 --> 00:01:29,961
explain the truncated trousers.
9
00:01:29,962 --> 00:01:34,361
Yeah. Well, I thought,
I might run faster.
10
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:35,721
Than what?
11
00:01:35,722 --> 00:01:37,961
Than I would if my trousers
were the usual length.
12
00:01:37,962 --> 00:01:39,521
It was a wager, you see.
13
00:01:39,522 --> 00:01:42,921
Oh! Catsmeat ordered this great jug
of Rigor Mortis, and I...
14
00:01:42,922 --> 00:01:45,001
Drank it all. No, no, no!
Not all of it!
15
00:01:45,002 --> 00:01:47,202
Good grief! Most of it. Oh.
16
00:01:55,962 --> 00:01:59,001
I shouldn't wish you to think
that I'm neglecting you.
17
00:01:59,002 --> 00:02:02,321
But out of season, there is still
combat to be had with Stinker!
18
00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:05,761
So, please... please excuse me.
19
00:02:05,762 --> 00:02:08,961
Clarence!
20
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,801
I can stand it no longer!
21
00:02:10,802 --> 00:02:12,361
Freddie must be married!
22
00:02:12,362 --> 00:02:15,321
There is no other lawful way
to dispose of him!
23
00:02:15,322 --> 00:02:18,161
I have selected
Felicity Parsloe-Parsloe.
24
00:02:18,162 --> 00:02:21,562
And I have rung Sir Gregory
to discuss the matter...
25
00:02:25,162 --> 00:02:27,761
It's like a pantomime!
26
00:02:27,762 --> 00:02:30,362
I mention the word Parsloe,
and he vanishes!
27
00:02:40,762 --> 00:02:44,121
Hey! Why the long face?
28
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,841
Oh, is it?
29
00:02:45,842 --> 00:02:50,201
Oh, no, no, I couldn't...
possibly bore you with all that.
30
00:02:50,202 --> 00:02:52,001
Bet you could if you tried?
31
00:02:52,002 --> 00:02:56,161
Well, it was a fairly orthodox
knees-up at the Pink Pussy.
32
00:02:56,162 --> 00:02:57,801
Cocktails were ingested.
33
00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,361
Oofy bet me 50 quid
I couldn't do the 100-yard dash
34
00:03:00,362 --> 00:03:02,881
in under 12 seconds.
And you couldn't?
35
00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:05,481
Not with a duck-billed platypus
jammed down my trousers, no.
36
00:03:05,482 --> 00:03:09,081
That was an intrinsic part
of the wager. The platypus.
37
00:03:09,082 --> 00:03:12,881
I thought I could do it
by streamlining the leggings,
38
00:03:12,882 --> 00:03:17,441
but two seconds into the race,
the ruddy beak came off.
39
00:03:17,442 --> 00:03:20,041
Which was pretty disconcerting.
Not least for the platypus!
40
00:03:20,042 --> 00:03:23,081
Oh, no, he was stuffed. As am I.
41
00:03:23,082 --> 00:03:25,921
Ah, Guv'nor. This is, erm...
42
00:03:25,922 --> 00:03:29,841
Niagara Donaldson.
I generally answer to Aggie.
43
00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:32,601
No, no, no good,
can't get that at all.
44
00:03:32,602 --> 00:03:36,201
Niagara. Like the big waterfall.
45
00:03:36,202 --> 00:03:39,441
Heavens! That must have caused
raised eyebrows around the font.
46
00:03:39,442 --> 00:03:41,521
My father's American.
Well, somebody has to be.
47
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:45,641
This is all very stimulating,
but I fear I have other business.
48
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,242
Please forgive me.
49
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:50,601
Stuffed?
50
00:03:50,602 --> 00:03:55,481
Oh, yes... Oofy's after me
for 150 quid.
51
00:03:55,482 --> 00:03:59,721
Harvest festival, McAllister!
52
00:03:59,722 --> 00:04:03,641
Ah...
53
00:04:03,642 --> 00:04:06,601
Is she bigger than Sir Gregory's,
do you think?
54
00:04:06,602 --> 00:04:11,361
Sir Grigory's gourd'll be a mickle
sproogy bairn compared to hir.
55
00:04:11,362 --> 00:04:14,681
I named hir Desdemona.
56
00:04:14,682 --> 00:04:16,881
Yer dinnae thunk the name improper?
57
00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:19,121
Good Lord, no! Hah!
58
00:04:19,122 --> 00:04:22,001
I just met a charming young woman,
named after a natural wonder.
59
00:04:22,002 --> 00:04:24,201
Cheops...
No, that was man-made. Erm...
60
00:04:24,202 --> 00:04:28,321
Niagara? No, no, something
more exotic. Stromboli.
61
00:04:28,322 --> 00:04:30,321
Hello, everyone!
62
00:04:30,322 --> 00:04:35,521
My, that pumpkin!
She's really bonny. Isn't she?
63
00:04:35,522 --> 00:04:39,281
Guaranteed to kick Stinker
into a cocked hat, wouldn't you say?
64
00:04:39,282 --> 00:04:40,801
I would.
65
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:45,482
I'll counsel ye nae to be
over-familiar wi' his Lordshup, hen.
66
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:52,322
And beware the bairn-faced loon.
67
00:04:53,562 --> 00:04:58,481
So, you are enjoying the university,
Miss Parsloe-Parsloe?
68
00:04:58,482 --> 00:05:00,001
Yup.
69
00:05:00,002 --> 00:05:01,801
Fascinating.
70
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,801
Felicity, lovely gardens here
at Blandings.
71
00:05:05,802 --> 00:05:08,281
Why not take a squint?
72
00:05:08,282 --> 00:05:09,762
Yup.
73
00:05:15,122 --> 00:05:17,921
Charming girl.
Can we not beat about the bush?
74
00:05:17,922 --> 00:05:21,361
You reckon there's a match to be
made. Your nephew, my niece.
75
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:24,401
Mm-hm. Fact is, Constance, your
nephew couldn't find his backside
76
00:05:24,402 --> 00:05:25,921
with an illustrated guidebook!
77
00:05:25,922 --> 00:05:28,281
Your niece is unusual.
78
00:05:28,282 --> 00:05:30,001
Damned attractive.
79
00:05:30,002 --> 00:05:33,042
To other unusual girls, possibly.
80
00:05:36,642 --> 00:05:40,001
I'll put up with yours, Sir Gregory,
if you'll put up with mine.
81
00:05:40,002 --> 00:05:43,241
In that case, I have terms.
82
00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:45,681
Name them. Emsworth!
83
00:05:45,682 --> 00:05:49,201
This silly rivalry he insists
on perpetuating!
84
00:05:49,202 --> 00:05:52,841
Pigs. Pumpkins.
It's got to stop.
85
00:05:52,842 --> 00:05:57,082
I wish to enter such competitions
unchallenged by your brother.
86
00:05:58,522 --> 00:06:00,841
Harvest Festival and so on.
87
00:06:00,842 --> 00:06:03,401
I want to win!
88
00:06:03,402 --> 00:06:07,001
I shall leave Felicity
here for the rest of the day.
89
00:06:07,002 --> 00:06:08,761
Yes, please do.
90
00:06:08,762 --> 00:06:11,441
I'm sure all this can be arranged
to our mutual satisfaction,
91
00:06:11,442 --> 00:06:13,761
without difficulty.
92
00:06:13,762 --> 00:06:15,642
Good afternoon.
93
00:06:23,202 --> 00:06:25,682
No difficulty at all.
94
00:06:32,562 --> 00:06:35,521
Beach! You didn't see me!
95
00:06:35,522 --> 00:06:38,162
Very good, sir.
96
00:06:40,962 --> 00:06:43,761
Beach, did you see Mr Frederick?
No.
97
00:06:43,762 --> 00:06:45,561
Because he told you
that you didn't.
98
00:06:45,562 --> 00:06:47,921
Did he remember to tell you
that you also didn't see
99
00:06:47,922 --> 00:06:50,561
the young woman that he was dragging
by the hand?
100
00:06:50,562 --> 00:06:53,521
No. So you are at liberty to tell me
about her.
101
00:06:53,522 --> 00:06:54,761
Who is she?
102
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:57,921
She is Miss Niagara Donaldson,
your Ladyship.
103
00:06:57,922 --> 00:07:01,841
Donaldson?
Doesn't sound terribly encouraging.
104
00:07:01,842 --> 00:07:04,841
Define Miss Donaldson.
105
00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:08,041
Her uncle is the gardener,
McAllister, my Lady.
106
00:07:08,042 --> 00:07:10,201
Bring me Lord Emsworth.
Yes, your Ladyship.
107
00:07:10,202 --> 00:07:12,882
Then bring me McAllister.
Yes, your Ladyship.
108
00:07:28,202 --> 00:07:31,281
Can I assist ye, Sir Grigory?
109
00:07:31,282 --> 00:07:34,241
McAllister, is it not? Aye...
110
00:07:34,242 --> 00:07:37,721
You know... McAllister,
111
00:07:37,722 --> 00:07:39,641
you should consider
coming to work for me.
112
00:07:39,642 --> 00:07:42,482
You might find me more...
appreciative.
113
00:07:44,682 --> 00:07:48,802
Let me give you my number.
Let's see... Ah, yes.
114
00:07:54,442 --> 00:07:56,161
So.
115
00:07:56,162 --> 00:07:58,961
You've writ it on a five-poon note.
116
00:07:58,962 --> 00:08:02,362
Really? Oh, yes.
117
00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:07,082
Better hang on to it, then.
118
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,561
Freddie might well propose to her!
119
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:19,161
God knows, he'd propose to a cushion
if it had tassels on it
120
00:08:19,162 --> 00:08:22,401
and succumbed to his vacuous
conversation!
121
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:26,441
If McAllister is her uncle,
imagine her father!
122
00:08:26,442 --> 00:08:28,641
Do you really want him sitting
next to you at dinner,
123
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:31,321
breathing on your cheese,
trifling with your cigars
124
00:08:31,322 --> 00:08:34,001
and gargling your brandy? Oh...
125
00:08:34,002 --> 00:08:35,961
I shall explain this one last time.
126
00:08:35,962 --> 00:08:39,041
I have identified a highly
appropriate girl for Freddie.
127
00:08:39,042 --> 00:08:41,041
Her name is Felicity Par...
128
00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:42,801
Felicity.
129
00:08:42,802 --> 00:08:45,481
Felicity Felicity?!
130
00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:49,001
She has acquired at the university
131
00:08:49,002 --> 00:08:51,201
a very interesting personal style...
132
00:08:51,202 --> 00:08:53,762
As long as she doesn't
dress like a man and smoke a pipe.
133
00:08:55,082 --> 00:08:58,561
McAllister, my Lord.
Remember you are an Emsworth!
134
00:08:58,562 --> 00:09:01,921
Ah, McAllister, there you are!
Jolly good!
135
00:09:01,922 --> 00:09:04,961
Her Ladyship...
136
00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:08,121
erm... feels...
137
00:09:08,122 --> 00:09:13,882
I struggle to describe quite
how her Ladyship feels.
138
00:09:18,162 --> 00:09:21,601
Lovely morning. Yup.
139
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:24,361
There is really no gentlemanly way
to say this,
140
00:09:24,362 --> 00:09:26,761
so I shall just have to say it.
141
00:09:26,762 --> 00:09:28,401
Everglades.
142
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,961
I know that is not quite correct,
but you know of whom I speak.
143
00:09:30,962 --> 00:09:33,441
Niagara? Precisely.
144
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:35,641
McAllister. It has to stop.
145
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,681
What has to stop, my Lord?
146
00:09:37,682 --> 00:09:41,241
The friendship with my son,
Frederick. WHAT?!
147
00:09:41,242 --> 00:09:42,521
You did not know?
148
00:09:42,522 --> 00:09:46,481
Oh, my dear fellow,
Frederick and Miss Great Lakes.
149
00:09:46,482 --> 00:09:48,081
They're sweethearts.
150
00:09:48,082 --> 00:09:51,721
Yon clockwork cretin shall nay
lay his fickle finger
151
00:09:51,722 --> 00:09:54,281
upon the fragrant person
o' ma niece.
152
00:09:54,282 --> 00:09:55,921
I take your point of view.
153
00:09:55,922 --> 00:09:59,441
But the fact is, McAllister, Miss
Grand Canyon's visit to Blandings
154
00:09:59,442 --> 00:10:01,241
probably has to be curtailed.
155
00:10:01,242 --> 00:10:03,321
She's no' visiting -
she's ma tenant.
156
00:10:03,322 --> 00:10:06,041
I thought she was your niece?
She's ma niece AND ma tenant!
157
00:10:06,042 --> 00:10:07,761
She pays me twa poon a week.
158
00:10:07,762 --> 00:10:10,601
Twa poon? Oh, does she?
Good heavens!
159
00:10:10,602 --> 00:10:13,721
What if I were to offer you,
erm, three poon?
160
00:10:13,722 --> 00:10:16,561
By which I obviously mean
four poon.
161
00:10:16,562 --> 00:10:20,801
It is nae the remuneration, my
Lord. It is the prunciple. Oh!
162
00:10:20,802 --> 00:10:23,241
I warn ye, if there's any further
attempt
163
00:10:23,242 --> 00:10:27,241
to remove Niagara from my dwelling,
I shall resign ma post!
164
00:10:27,242 --> 00:10:31,681
My dear fellow, you clearly can't do
that. No. Consider Desdemona.
165
00:10:31,682 --> 00:10:33,521
Yae consider her!
166
00:10:33,522 --> 00:10:39,121
Moreover, if I find yir poonstrick
son canoodling with ma niece...
167
00:10:39,122 --> 00:10:43,441
I shall suspend him fae rafters
like a flutch o' bacon.
168
00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:45,921
Oh!
169
00:10:45,922 --> 00:10:48,441
Who is Desdemona?!
170
00:10:48,442 --> 00:10:51,601
Oh, Connie, do you never pay
attention to the names that matter?
171
00:10:51,602 --> 00:10:53,601
She is my PUMPKIN!
172
00:10:53,602 --> 00:10:56,881
Directly after my interview
with McAllister,
173
00:10:56,882 --> 00:11:01,802
I went to the greenhouse to inspect
her, and her skin was wrinkling.
174
00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:05,761
It's like the terrible climax
of Ryder Haggard's She in there!
175
00:11:05,762 --> 00:11:10,001
Can you not see that alliance
with this Niagara Donaldson
176
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,641
besmirches the honour
of the Emsworths? Oh!
177
00:11:12,642 --> 00:11:15,081
If you are ever to exert
even the slightest authority
178
00:11:15,082 --> 00:11:18,281
over this family, you must assist me
with Felicity Parsloe-Parsloe!
179
00:11:18,282 --> 00:11:20,801
For a minute there, I thought you
said... Yes, I did.
180
00:11:20,802 --> 00:11:23,641
In a moment you'll have forgotten,
so it is of no consequence.
181
00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:27,641
A hallmark, I find,
of our general conversation.
182
00:11:27,642 --> 00:11:29,881
Felicity.
183
00:11:29,882 --> 00:11:31,402
Pretty name.
184
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:36,281
I say, old boy, you haven't seen
a corking little redhead
185
00:11:36,282 --> 00:11:39,521
about the place, have you? Nope.
186
00:11:39,522 --> 00:11:41,761
Threepwood, F.
187
00:11:41,762 --> 00:11:43,802
Parsloe-Parsloe, F.
188
00:11:45,002 --> 00:11:48,802
Oh! Ha!
189
00:11:51,202 --> 00:11:54,121
Oh! You met Felicity.
190
00:11:54,122 --> 00:11:56,401
Good. Erm... Be quiet! Oh.
191
00:11:56,402 --> 00:11:58,121
All undergraduates are the same.
192
00:11:58,122 --> 00:12:01,481
They wear extraordinary clothes
and try to unsettle people.
193
00:12:01,482 --> 00:12:04,441
She'll grow out of it
once she's married.
194
00:12:04,442 --> 00:12:06,521
To you. Gah!
195
00:12:06,522 --> 00:12:08,361
You shall consent to this union,
Freddie!
196
00:12:08,362 --> 00:12:11,801
Would you not die in battle
for the honour of the Emsworths?
197
00:12:11,802 --> 00:12:12,921
Yes. I would.
198
00:12:12,922 --> 00:12:15,841
Infinitely preferable to a life
of sharing the marital toothbrush
199
00:12:15,842 --> 00:12:17,521
with a girl called Parsloe-Parsloe!
200
00:12:17,522 --> 00:12:21,161
Don't talk rot! Marriage is
not about sharing anything.
201
00:12:21,162 --> 00:12:23,602
It is about property and succession.
202
00:12:25,002 --> 00:12:28,841
Stop howling like an impaled baboon!
Think about your duty!
203
00:12:28,842 --> 00:12:32,522
Miss Parsloe-Parsloe,
do you need a light for that pipe?
204
00:12:38,762 --> 00:12:42,082
Glass of port, Mr Frederick? Er...
205
00:12:43,802 --> 00:12:45,481
Lubricates the brain.
206
00:12:45,482 --> 00:12:47,601
I mean, you've seen the girl, Beach!
207
00:12:47,602 --> 00:12:49,801
She clearly cranks the starter
with a motion
208
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:51,321
that's not factory-approved.
209
00:12:51,322 --> 00:12:53,441
And I'm supposed to ask
her to marry me!
210
00:12:53,442 --> 00:12:56,481
Is Miss Donaldson aware
of your intention to propose, sir?
211
00:12:56,482 --> 00:12:57,841
No, no! Wrong girl!
212
00:12:57,842 --> 00:13:02,401
Aunt C's putting the heavy roller
on me to pop the question to...
213
00:13:02,402 --> 00:13:04,321
Beach.
214
00:13:04,322 --> 00:13:06,561
You're a ruddy genius!
215
00:13:06,562 --> 00:13:08,281
Right question.
216
00:13:08,282 --> 00:13:10,562
Wrong girl!
217
00:13:35,122 --> 00:13:37,721
I might have known it!
218
00:13:37,722 --> 00:13:40,361
Erm, hello, erm, Parsloe.
219
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:43,921
I'm taking a very strong line on the
protection of my pumpkin, Emsworth.
220
00:13:43,922 --> 00:13:46,241
Trespass again
and you'll find yourself in custody.
221
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,241
What? What? You've been warned!
222
00:13:48,242 --> 00:13:51,081
Hasn't your sister bothered
to speak to you?
223
00:13:51,082 --> 00:13:54,281
Of course she speaks to me!
So, what do you say, man? Yes or no?
224
00:13:54,282 --> 00:13:58,281
Erm... Yes... On the whole...
225
00:13:58,282 --> 00:14:01,441
All right, then. Good.
226
00:14:01,442 --> 00:14:04,521
All you need to do, Emsworth,
as agreed with Connie,
227
00:14:04,522 --> 00:14:09,402
is stop this ruddy nonsense.
Eh? Lay down your arms.
228
00:14:15,362 --> 00:14:17,321
Lay down your pumpkin.
229
00:14:17,322 --> 00:14:19,281
And as for your pig...
230
00:14:19,282 --> 00:14:21,642
wrap her up with a bow
and send her round.
231
00:14:26,042 --> 00:14:28,721
Ah! Erm, Miss Donaldson.
232
00:14:28,722 --> 00:14:32,402
We met but a few hours ago
and we kissed once.
233
00:14:34,242 --> 00:14:35,761
Twice.
234
00:14:35,762 --> 00:14:38,801
Proportionally, that is a 50%
increase in our intimacy.
235
00:14:38,802 --> 00:14:40,481
Now, look...
236
00:14:40,482 --> 00:14:42,561
would you mind awfully
237
00:14:42,562 --> 00:14:44,361
anteloping with me?
238
00:14:44,362 --> 00:14:47,321
Is that a dance?
Erm. There could be dancing.
239
00:14:47,322 --> 00:14:50,882
Oh, you mean will
I run away with you and get married?
240
00:14:54,642 --> 00:14:56,761
OK!
241
00:14:56,762 --> 00:15:00,001
Really?! This is fantastic!
242
00:15:00,002 --> 00:15:02,241
Look, I'm pretty
strapped for boodle.
243
00:15:02,242 --> 00:15:04,481
Do you have a bit of cash
for a couple of train tickets?
244
00:15:04,482 --> 00:15:08,361
That's a slightly worrying question,
Freddie, but, yes, I do.
245
00:15:08,362 --> 00:15:10,402
Top! Meet you at the pigsty.
246
00:15:13,642 --> 00:15:15,442
How romantic!
247
00:15:20,322 --> 00:15:23,042
150%! Hurrah!
248
00:15:27,402 --> 00:15:28,922
Woo-hoo!
249
00:15:33,882 --> 00:15:36,601
My darkest fear, McAllister,
250
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:40,481
is that Parsloe's ruddy pumpkin
is portlier than mine.
251
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:43,201
Gah! Yer should fear for yir son.
252
00:15:43,202 --> 00:15:46,601
Truffling roond the dainty
petticoats of ma niece. I warned ye!
253
00:15:46,602 --> 00:15:49,921
Don't concern yourself with
Frederick. He's getting married.
254
00:15:49,922 --> 00:15:52,521
Yes, yes, all settled. To that girl.
Peculiar name.
255
00:15:52,522 --> 00:15:54,561
Niagara? Very possibly.
256
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:56,121
And ye endorse this marriage?
257
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:59,881
I do, McAllister. My dear fellow,
it's really no concern of yours.
258
00:15:59,882 --> 00:16:01,761
Let us discuss fertilisers.
259
00:16:01,762 --> 00:16:07,241
Lord Emsworth, the situation is
untenable. I resign yir employ.
260
00:16:07,242 --> 00:16:09,601
Angus. No, you can't.
261
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:13,081
What about the silky
flesh of Desdemona?
262
00:16:13,082 --> 00:16:17,602
You think on it, mun!
Ach, I'm awa to pack ma bag.
263
00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:25,201
No, no, no. Not Niagula. No. No.
264
00:16:25,202 --> 00:16:28,762
Freddie's marrying
the Parsloe girl.
265
00:16:32,162 --> 00:16:36,522
But he can't do that.
He can't do that!
266
00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:46,081
Clarence?
267
00:16:46,082 --> 00:16:49,561
Clarence? I...
Whatever are you doing that for?
268
00:16:49,562 --> 00:16:53,001
Always showing off.
I suppose it's some sort of bet.
269
00:16:53,002 --> 00:16:56,601
Actually, it's quite simple. I...
Calamitous news!
270
00:16:56,602 --> 00:17:01,281
What? McAllister has resigned.
I am not quite sure how it happened.
271
00:17:01,282 --> 00:17:04,041
I was... Good gracious.
272
00:17:04,042 --> 00:17:06,561
Hullo, Guv'nor.
Now, listen to me, Frederick.
273
00:17:06,562 --> 00:17:08,201
You are not to Parsloe Miss Marry.
274
00:17:08,202 --> 00:17:10,201
Understood? Anybody but her.
275
00:17:10,202 --> 00:17:13,121
Your aunt has a demented ambition
to marry you off to some cushion.
276
00:17:13,122 --> 00:17:15,321
Can I marry Miss Donaldson?
277
00:17:15,322 --> 00:17:17,321
Yes. Absolutely. Whoever she is.
278
00:17:17,322 --> 00:17:19,801
Clarence! Stop squawking my name
like some ruddy
279
00:17:19,802 --> 00:17:22,641
multicoloured... sits up here...
mind your fingers. Parrot.
280
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:26,281
Thank you. Why are you doing upside
down? Don't answer that, no time.
281
00:17:26,282 --> 00:17:30,521
Moreover,
did you or did you not have some
282
00:17:30,522 --> 00:17:35,281
infernal agreement with Stinker
about me giving him the Empress?
283
00:17:35,282 --> 00:17:38,961
I... I am too angry to listen
and to hear you out.
284
00:17:38,962 --> 00:17:41,961
I am going to my room.
285
00:17:41,962 --> 00:17:45,681
So am I. Well, I said it first,
so yah boo sucks and no returnsies.
286
00:17:45,682 --> 00:17:48,641
Childish. So childish!
Can't hear you. Can't hear you.
287
00:17:48,642 --> 00:17:51,401
You are a child.
Can't hear you. Can't hear you.
288
00:17:51,402 --> 00:17:54,082
I'm not chasing you.
I'm not chasing you!
289
00:17:55,962 --> 00:17:57,281
Oh...
290
00:17:57,282 --> 00:17:58,962
Oh.
291
00:18:04,962 --> 00:18:06,441
Beach.
292
00:18:06,442 --> 00:18:09,641
I've blundered, terribly.
I must speak to McAllister.
293
00:18:09,642 --> 00:18:12,201
He left you this note, my Lord,
294
00:18:12,202 --> 00:18:15,322
advising you of his new position.
295
00:18:20,762 --> 00:18:25,121
Squeaky thing... Uncomfortable
seat... Oil on the trouser cuffs.
296
00:18:25,122 --> 00:18:26,401
Bicycle, my Lord?
297
00:18:26,402 --> 00:18:27,762
Quick as you can!
298
00:18:29,322 --> 00:18:32,602
Angus, how could you?
299
00:18:39,722 --> 00:18:41,922
You! You're sacked. Get lost.
300
00:18:43,922 --> 00:18:45,562
Now, McAllister....
301
00:18:47,322 --> 00:18:48,802
..have a sticky willy.
302
00:18:50,002 --> 00:18:52,122
Go on, have a large one.
303
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:57,961
Ah, Constable Piper.
Reporting for duty, sir.
304
00:18:57,962 --> 00:19:00,681
Through the bench, I have been able
to secure young Piper
305
00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:02,962
as the pumpkin's personal bodyguard.
306
00:19:11,322 --> 00:19:15,521
Ah! Ah! Be a good fellow,
will you, and cut me down?
307
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,162
Yup.
308
00:19:19,482 --> 00:19:21,241
Oh, God.
309
00:19:21,242 --> 00:19:23,601
Ah, um... Felicity.
310
00:19:23,602 --> 00:19:24,921
Yup.
311
00:19:24,922 --> 00:19:27,801
Do you ever say anything
that isn't a monosyllable?
312
00:19:27,802 --> 00:19:29,202
Occasionally.
313
00:19:31,482 --> 00:19:32,761
Oh!
314
00:19:32,762 --> 00:19:36,041
A little less of a sissy
with a bit of colour in your cheeks.
315
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:41,081
My entire bloodstream has
congregated in my head. But, look,
316
00:19:41,082 --> 00:19:43,601
I thought you blew the flugelhorn
from the speaking end?
317
00:19:43,602 --> 00:19:46,881
Lord, no.
Perfectly regular embouchure.
318
00:19:46,882 --> 00:19:49,722
And I know how to work
all the valves.
319
00:19:51,042 --> 00:19:53,441
When I come home, I drag up
like this to ward off
320
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:56,041
all the ghastly bores
my father wants me to marry.
321
00:19:56,042 --> 00:19:59,561
Well, I'll be...
Careful what you wish for, matey.
322
00:19:59,562 --> 00:20:01,922
Ticky, ticky, ticky!
323
00:20:07,802 --> 00:20:10,681
Oh, no. This is not
what it looks like!
324
00:20:10,682 --> 00:20:13,242
You wouldn't hit
a chap in glasses, would you?
325
00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:21,801
Miss Niagara Donaldson?
What about it?
326
00:20:21,802 --> 00:20:24,921
Just checking. I'm going
to have a word with your uncle.
327
00:20:24,922 --> 00:20:26,441
Oh...
328
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:28,882
Oh.
329
00:20:47,962 --> 00:20:49,442
McAllister?
330
00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:16,441
Oi! Dismount that apparatus.
Are you taking the...
331
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:19,081
Get off that bike!
My dear fellow...
332
00:21:19,082 --> 00:21:21,921
Don't you "dear fellow" me, mate.
Right. Name.
333
00:21:21,922 --> 00:21:24,441
My name? No, granny's name.
334
00:21:24,442 --> 00:21:27,361
Erm, Rosalind Elspeth.
What's your name?!
335
00:21:27,362 --> 00:21:33,401
Lord Emsworth. Erm...
Baptised Clarence, 9th Earl.
336
00:21:33,402 --> 00:21:35,601
At school, I was called Fathead.
337
00:21:35,602 --> 00:21:38,121
You're the Earl of Emsworth,
are you, sunshine?
338
00:21:38,122 --> 00:21:40,121
I was never called "sunshine".
339
00:21:40,122 --> 00:21:43,121
Give up your real name, chummy,
or I'm putting the cuffs on you.
340
00:21:43,122 --> 00:21:44,961
He's Lord Emsworth.
341
00:21:44,962 --> 00:21:47,521
Are you saying
you'll vouch for this man, sir?
342
00:21:47,522 --> 00:21:52,241
I tended his park for 20 year.
I'll vouch for the fool.
343
00:21:52,242 --> 00:21:55,481
Right, well,
we'll say no more about it.
344
00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:58,882
Oh. He's taking my bicycle.
345
00:22:00,442 --> 00:22:02,001
McAllister.
346
00:22:02,002 --> 00:22:05,681
Your delightful niece,
whose name inevitably escapes me,
347
00:22:05,682 --> 00:22:08,241
she isn't going to marry Frederick.
No. No. In fact,
348
00:22:08,242 --> 00:22:11,321
she just punched him in the face,
so, you see, it's all wonderful.
349
00:22:11,322 --> 00:22:13,041
You can come back!
350
00:22:13,042 --> 00:22:15,162
I took Sir Grigory's stucky wully.
351
00:22:16,362 --> 00:22:17,961
Did it touch your lips?
352
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:19,401
It did not.
353
00:22:19,402 --> 00:22:23,682
Well, I am sure
we may consider you untainted.
354
00:22:24,962 --> 00:22:27,281
Angus, what do you say?
355
00:22:27,282 --> 00:22:31,882
Desdemona, there's still time
to present her to the festival.
356
00:22:34,242 --> 00:22:37,641
Ah! Oh, good gracious.
My dear fellow, oh, oh,
357
00:22:37,642 --> 00:22:39,962
you are one in a million. Oh, yes!
358
00:22:50,922 --> 00:22:54,802
Between the two of us, we could make
a very passable panda bear.
359
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:03,281
I don't suppose
you want to get married, do you,
360
00:23:03,282 --> 00:23:04,921
and all that sort of rot?
361
00:23:04,922 --> 00:23:07,682
Perfectly ghastly
prospect for all concerned.
362
00:23:09,122 --> 00:23:11,842
But it seems to be required.
363
00:23:13,762 --> 00:23:17,961
So, hold the nose
and think of England?
364
00:23:17,962 --> 00:23:19,281
Do you feel up to it?
365
00:23:19,282 --> 00:23:20,881
Yup.
366
00:23:20,882 --> 00:23:25,962
"Yup"? Is that your monosyllable
of choice? Yup. Yup.
367
00:23:28,002 --> 00:23:31,442
Well, so be it.
Jolly old bombs away.
368
00:23:32,722 --> 00:23:35,961
Should we kiss...
I don't think that's necessary. No.
369
00:23:35,962 --> 00:23:39,001
There could be tickling, though.
370
00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:41,161
Ticky. Ticky.
371
00:23:41,162 --> 00:23:43,882
Ticky, ticky, ticky, ticky!
372
00:24:11,202 --> 00:24:12,522
Ah! Beach.
373
00:24:14,402 --> 00:24:19,081
Advance warning. We may be preparing
the castle for an event.
374
00:24:19,082 --> 00:24:21,802
A marquee may be required. What?
375
00:24:23,202 --> 00:24:24,681
I did not speak, your Ladyship.
376
00:24:24,682 --> 00:24:27,122
And I heard you not doing it.
Out with it.
377
00:24:28,322 --> 00:24:32,481
I was... perusing Society Spice,
your Ladyship, and I encountered
378
00:24:32,482 --> 00:24:36,961
some intelligence which I felt
obliged to confide in Lord Emsworth.
379
00:24:36,962 --> 00:24:41,041
I am uncertain if he has grasped
the significance of it.
380
00:24:41,042 --> 00:24:42,801
All right, Beach! Orf you go!
381
00:24:42,802 --> 00:24:45,362
I am in command of the information!
382
00:24:46,882 --> 00:24:49,041
I have rectified everything.
383
00:24:49,042 --> 00:24:51,521
I have re-engaged McAllister.
384
00:24:51,522 --> 00:24:55,041
Moreover, Beach has found out
the queerest thing.
385
00:24:55,042 --> 00:25:00,041
Nicaragua is the sole heiress
of Hiram K Donaldson,
386
00:25:00,042 --> 00:25:01,721
"The Biscuit King".
387
00:25:01,722 --> 00:25:05,201
Yes. She stands to inherit
millions of dollars.
388
00:25:05,202 --> 00:25:09,481
Isn't that extraordinary?
In fact, there she is now.
389
00:25:09,482 --> 00:25:12,682
Going for a walk with some
sort of suitcase.
390
00:25:20,202 --> 00:25:22,322
Do you want a bit and all, Jimmy?
391
00:25:24,002 --> 00:25:25,921
Harvest Festival in an hour.
392
00:25:25,922 --> 00:25:28,521
Thought I'd come
and collect Emsworth's pumpkin,
393
00:25:28,522 --> 00:25:31,281
as I'm entering it for competition,
with my own.
394
00:25:31,282 --> 00:25:34,121
They're both my own, de facto.
395
00:25:34,122 --> 00:25:37,002
We also must fix
surrender of the pig.
396
00:25:39,402 --> 00:25:41,362
Yes... Um...
397
00:25:44,402 --> 00:25:48,441
Felicity, you're amusing
but extremely strange.
398
00:25:48,442 --> 00:25:50,482
You shall not marry Freddie.
399
00:25:52,082 --> 00:25:54,721
Clarence, you're an imbecile,
400
00:25:54,722 --> 00:25:56,001
but I love you.
401
00:25:56,002 --> 00:25:57,801
Too kind. Be quiet.
402
00:25:57,802 --> 00:26:01,881
I shall not see you parted
from your pumpkin or your pig.
403
00:26:01,882 --> 00:26:04,521
Constance, think what you're doing!
404
00:26:04,522 --> 00:26:09,241
No other man of rank will consent
to the burden of Freddie Threepwood.
405
00:26:09,242 --> 00:26:12,161
Damn it, woman, we had a deal!
406
00:26:12,162 --> 00:26:14,841
Sir Gregory, you're an old friend
that I like and admire,
407
00:26:14,842 --> 00:26:17,481
but I wouldn't trust you
as far as I could spit a weasel.
408
00:26:17,482 --> 00:26:19,601
Hurrah for Aunt C!
Be quiet. Freddie.
409
00:26:19,602 --> 00:26:21,961
Emsworths all,
410
00:26:21,962 --> 00:26:23,641
back to the house.
411
00:26:23,642 --> 00:26:25,762
Ha! Ha ha ha!
412
00:26:30,642 --> 00:26:33,121
Beach, did you find a jug?
413
00:26:33,122 --> 00:26:34,601
Aha!
414
00:26:34,602 --> 00:26:38,201
Right! Now, the secret
of a really stiff Rigor Mortis
415
00:26:38,202 --> 00:26:40,522
is plenty of yellow Chartreuse.
416
00:26:41,762 --> 00:26:45,281
Angus! Angus! Oh, my dear fellow!
417
00:26:45,282 --> 00:26:49,401
Good heavens. First prize, Desdemona!
First prize!
418
00:26:49,402 --> 00:26:51,001
Hurrah!
419
00:26:51,002 --> 00:26:52,641
Here you are, Beach.
420
00:26:52,642 --> 00:26:56,241
This'll put lead in your little
propelling pencil. McAllister?
421
00:26:56,242 --> 00:26:59,761
Please apologise to your niece
for my allowing my face
422
00:26:59,762 --> 00:27:01,601
to get in the way of her fist.
423
00:27:01,602 --> 00:27:05,242
If she returns to Blandings,
I'd like to see her again.
424
00:27:08,362 --> 00:27:09,442
Please?
425
00:27:19,922 --> 00:27:21,202
Freddie?
426
00:27:23,122 --> 00:27:26,001
You know that trouser business?
How much do you owe?
427
00:27:26,002 --> 00:27:30,561
Oh, erm... Doesn't matter, just get
my chequebook. In fact, no, wait.
428
00:27:30,562 --> 00:27:32,521
You know those silly songs
429
00:27:32,522 --> 00:27:35,681
that you always play that
irritate me so much? Mm.
430
00:27:35,682 --> 00:27:37,202
Will you play one now?
431
00:27:45,242 --> 00:27:48,041
♪ Here am I, going quietly bonkers
432
00:27:48,042 --> 00:27:50,001
♪ And cos why
433
00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:51,641
♪ I'm dreaming of you
434
00:27:51,642 --> 00:27:53,121
♪ Well, love's no joke
435
00:27:53,122 --> 00:27:56,041
♪ When either is a bloke like me
436
00:27:56,042 --> 00:27:58,521
♪ A-goin' quietly bonkers
437
00:27:58,522 --> 00:28:01,841
♪ Love, they said
Heavens above, they said
438
00:28:01,842 --> 00:28:04,721
♪ It's a heaven an' all
439
00:28:04,722 --> 00:28:07,961
♪ Well, if this is
what they call heaven
440
00:28:07,962 --> 00:28:09,921
♪ For the love of Mike
441
00:28:09,922 --> 00:28:11,521
♪ What's the other place like? ♪
442
00:28:11,522 --> 00:28:13,361
Do you know what I call this, Connie?
443
00:28:13,362 --> 00:28:14,641
Capital?
444
00:28:14,642 --> 00:28:16,522
I call it capital.
445
00:28:18,482 --> 00:28:22,081
♪ The way things are
I feel a proper Charlie
446
00:28:22,082 --> 00:28:24,921
♪ Till I know that you
447
00:28:24,922 --> 00:28:26,921
♪ Are going quietly bonkers
448
00:28:26,922 --> 00:28:28,481
♪ Going quietly bonkers
449
00:28:28,482 --> 00:28:31,002
♪ Going quietly bonkers too. ♪
450
00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:58,228
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