All language subtitles for K.C. Undercover S02E02 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 5.1 x264-TrollHD_Track03

♪♪

Where were you
last night?

I was at the library
with Darien.

Again? You guys
are practically dating.

World's most boring
dating, but dating.

Yeah, I wish, okay.

He hasn't even
asked me out yet,

and I don't know why because
we definitely have chemistry,

- in fourth period,
and in person.
- ( Marisa laughs )

- Hey, KC.
- Oh, hey,
what's up, Darien?

So I was wondering if you've
seen that new alien movie yet.

No, no. I'm not really
a huge sci-fi fan.

Oh. That's too bad.

I heard about this new
Argentinean steak place.

It's supposed
to be great.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna
have to take your word for it,

because I'm
a vegetarian.

Oh, I forgot.

So are there any good
vegetarian places

you could recommend?
I'd love to try one.

Of course,
I'd hate to eat alone.

Yeah, for sure.

There's a really good one
on Clark Street.

They actually have
communal tables,

so you can meet
a lot of interesting people.

Uh, okay.
So I'll just see you later.

All right.

He is so cute!

Why won't he just
ask me out already?

He just did.
Three times.

What do you think
the movie and the steak,

and the "where can I eat
vegetarian not alone" was about?

Darien, wait up!
I wanna try the steak place.

They have salads, right?

♪ Oh, when danger
comes for you ♪

♪ You know
I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep things hustle cool ♪

♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪

♪ Don't tell nobody,
tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect ♪

♪ So many things
I wanna tell you ♪

♪ But I, I, I,
I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Livin' my life,
no way to learn ♪

♪ Doin' my thing,
gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪

♪ But I always
got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it
like I can ♪

♪ I gotta find out
who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry
about me ♪

♪ It's all
part of the plan ♪

I keep it undercover.

I keep it
undercover.

- So I'll pick you up
Saturday night?
- Yeah, yeah.

I'm not gonna be
picking you up,

you know, 'cause
you're twice my size.

( awkward laughter )

All right, that's cool.

Hey, Ernie,
how's it going?

Me Ernie?

Yes, you Ernie.

I'm good.
Thanks for asking.

What just happened?

It's contact
popularity.

When a popular guy
like Darien says hi to you,

people think that
you're more important

than you really are.

It's like you're
cool-adjacent.

That's pathetic.

I'll take it.

All right, Marisa, do not
go all crazy, all right,

but I have my first
official date with Darien
this Saturday night.

( high-pitched
shriek )

I'm glad you didn't
go all crazy.

Yes, I'm
excited, too,

okay, but I'm also
very nervous.

I've never really been
on a real date before.

What about when you went
to the dance with Lincoln?

Mission.

What about when you
went to the movies with Brett?

Mission.

What about that guy
you made out with at camp?

He was not a mission.

No, he was imaginary.

I made him up.

That is too bad.

You guys really
seemed to click.

Hey, Dad, I just
wanted to let you know

that I have
a date Saturday night.

Let me guess.

With the guy
from summer camp?

No.

It's a real date
with a real guy

that actually exists.

Oh. Okay, well,
have fun.

That's it?

You don't wanna know
anything about him

or meet him
before we go out?

KC, the last guy
you were interested in

tried to kill you.

I say anyone
is a step up from that.

( knocking at door )

Hi. Is this
the Cooper residence?

That depends.
Who's asking?

Oh, sorry.
Hi. I'm Abby Martin.

I just moved to D.C.
from Chicago.

That's great.

So sorry I didn't
pick you up from the airport,

probably because I don't
know who you are.

Right. Of course
you don't,

because I'm a total stranger
showing up at your door.

I'm originally from
Evanston,

I'm a freshman at
Howard University,

I live at
the Wheatley dorm,

and what was
the other thing?

Oh, yeah, I think
we might be related.

( clears throat )
Excuse me.

Could you just
back that up a little bit?

Oh, uh, I'm originally
from Evanston...

Yeah, I meant
the related part.

Right. Um...

Here's the thing.

My dad passed away
recently.

I never really
knew my mom.

So I started
researching her,

and public records
led me to you.

Oh, I'm pretty sure
I'm not your mother.

And not just because
you're older than me.

Actually, my mom
passed away when
I was really young.

Totally sad, I know.

But what can you do?

Guess I'm like
Little Orphan Annie

without all the fun
singing and dancing.

Anyway...

uh, I'm actually
looking for Kira Cooper.

Her maiden name
is King?

I think she might be
my mother's sister.

I'm... I'm sorry,

but I think you
might've found
the wrong Kira Cooper,

'cause my mom
never had a sister.

But... good luck.

Okay. Thanks.
Sorry to bother you.

It's all good.

Oh, hey, Mom.

That was
really weird.

She was saying that
you might be her aunt,

but I told her that
you didn't have a sister.

Actually, um...

we need to talk.

I cannot believe
that I have an aunt

that I never even
knew about.

How could you
keep this from me?

- Why didn't you
tell me about this?
- KC, calm down.

I can't believe
you have a sister
that I never knew about.

Why wouldn't you
tell me this?

Why would you
keep this from me?

I think we're missing
the big picture here.

I have a late aunt
who may have left me
a small fortune.

Will you all
be quiet and
let me explain?

Sit down.

Kira said her sister
was the black sheep
of the family.

- Judy!
- What?

You were taking too long,
so I accessed the files.

This is my story
to tell.

Let's move it along,
shall we?

Anyway, my sister
Erica and I

really never got along.

Didn't have that in
your files, did you, Judy?

Actually, I did,

I just didn't think
it was my place

to bring up
your personal business.

As I was saying,

after Erica learned
that my parents and I

were part of
the Organization,

she joined
the Other Side.

Wait, wait.

Your sister joined
the Other Side?

Yes, and it broke
our hearts.

My parents got rid
of everything that showed

she ever existed.

They figured it'd be
easier that way.

But I managed to save
a few pictures

from when we were kids,
'cause no matter what,

she was my sister.

Judy, I want you to access
my personal computer.

- My password is--
- I already figured out
your secret password.

SpyMom1?

I thought it was
ILoveCraig.

No, honey,
that's your password.

Oh, yeah,
that's right.

Lights off.

Pulling up super secret
sister pictures.

I loved my sister,

but she never really fit in
with the rest of the family.

She just walked to the beat
of her own drum.

I can relate.

And after college,
when Erica found out

that I was recruited
to be a spy like our parents,

she really felt
left out.

I can relate.

She was always
a little off,

doing weird things,
acting all strange.

And sometimes,
it was just embarrassing

being in the same family.

Oh, look at that.

Now I can relate.

Erica and I
never spoke again

after she joined
the Other Side.

That was almost
20 years ago.

It was hard,
but sometimes,

you just have to know
when to let go.

Now that she's
really gone...

Mom, Mom, Mom.

Hey, on the bright side,
we got Abby now.

She is a part
of the family.

We could always
reach out to her.

Oh, no. Uh-uh.
Absolutely not.

I got a bad feeling
about this whole thing.

But we're the only family
that she has.

KC, enough.
I'm shutting this down.

Hey, is that a picture
of you in a hot tub?

With MC Hammer?

I'm shutting that
down, too.

Okay, hypothetical
question, right?

Let's just say I'm
on my date with Darien tonight,

and I pass out
from nervousness.

Now, is it better
to faint into my food,

or onto the floor?

If it were me,
I would just faint

right into his arms,
but that is an advanced move,

and you may not
be ready for it.

Marisa, I'm serious,
all right.

I really, really
like this guy,

and I need your help.
What if he thinks
I'm boring?

Boring? Please,
you have traveled the world.

You've met royalty.

You have been
in the same room
as the president.

All things
I cannot tell him.

Everything that's
unique about me

is classified.

Or gross, like
the plantar's wart
on my foot.

Okay, little hint.

Try not to mention
your warts to him.

Or anyone.
Ever.

So basically,
all I can tell him is...

I have a great family,
I go to school,

and I come home
to my great family.

Then make something up.

This date
needs to go well.

We need this.

Why do you care?

Thanks to him,

I'm popular-adjacent.

Since he acknowledged me,

I've gotten 13 "Heys,"
ten "'Sups,"

and I passed a group of
people talking about a party,

and for the first time
in my life,

the conversation didn't
come to a screeching halt.

Marisa, help her!

Okay, KC, here's
all the dating advice

you will ever need.

If you can't be interesting,

then be interested.

Guys love to talk
about themselves,

so just talk about
things he likes.

Oh, we'll treat this
like a mission.

I'll find out
everything Darien likes,

put together a dossier,
and prep you.

Okay, guys, come on.

This seems a little weird,
creepy, and super stalkery.

Yeah, welcome to
the world of dating.

No one goes in cold anymore.

Now in case
all else fails,

you are also
gonna need a go-to story.

Okay, I know I'm gonna
hate myself for asking,

but what is a go-to story?

It is a story that
makes you seem sweet,

vulnerable and lovable,

preferably featuring
a small, helpless animal.

Yeah, I don't have
one of those.

Oh, you can borrow mine.

I got it from my friend
Angela in Connecticut.

Now listen and learn.

I was almost seven.

I had begged my parents
for months to get me a puppy.

Then on my birthday,
they got me...

Mr. Doodles.

I took him for a walk,
but the collar was too big.

He got loose,
and out of nowhere,

a car came barreling
down the street--

This is ridiculous.

No one is going to buy
this manipulative, ridiculous--

Poor sweet, vulnerable,
lovable Marisa.

Go on, I'm listening.

Where did you get
those pants?

These? I've had
these for years.

I guess I never
told you about 'em.

Kinda like you never
told me about your sister.

Hmm.

I wonder what else
you're not telling me.

Fine. I didn't
want you to know,

but I guess
I have no choice.

I'm not really your wife.

I'm working deep undercover,

( deep voice )
and my real name is Frank.

Don't ask me where
them kids came from,

because I don't know.

Fine. If you're not
gonna take me seriously,

I have no choice
but to go play golf
with Stu.

Stu? Who's Stu?

I have secrets,
too, woman.

You dragged that brush
through your hair 36 times.

I didn't think it was gonna
get any better after 35,

but boy, you proved me wrong.

Don't you have
someplace to be,

like a scrap heap?

Oh, look at you.

Gorgeous.
Okay, remember

not to use your phone
during the date,

except to check if
there's spinach in your teeth.

And if Marisa gave you
any advice, ignore it.

And most important--

Okay, Mom, please. I'm
nervous enough as it is.

You're gonna give
my pit stains pit stains.

Can't a mother
give her daughter
a little dating advice?

Is that what Grandma
used to do for you?

No, but my older sis...
Never mind.

You were gonna say
sister, weren't you?

Yes, I was.

Sister Mary Elizabeth.

She was one of
my teachers at
parochial school.

And for a woman
who was married to God,

she knew a lot
about dating.

Okay, Mom, I can
clearly see that
you're hurting about this.

Why don't you just
reach out to Abby?

She's your niece.
She deserves to know
her family.

KC, she is a stranger
who showed up at our door.

We don't have any proof
that she is who she
says she is.

We don't have
any proof that she's not.

Okay, well, say
she is my niece.

If she's anything
like her mother,

- that girl is no good.
- You don't know that.

Just because her mom's bad
does not mean that she is.

It's true.

Not everybody turns out
like their parents.

My mother
was a coffee machine.

KC, look, I'm done
talking about this.

Mom, we could
just call her--

No! This conversation
is over.

I don't want anyone
from this family

to have any contact
whatsoever with
that Abby girl.

Wow. At least when
my mom got that hot,

you'd get
some coffee out of it.

All right,
let's review.

What's Darien's
favorite thing to do
on the weekend?

- Motocross racing.
- Favorite food.

His grandma's
salmon croquettes.

Favorite Harry Potter
movie.

Trick question.
He loves them all.

You're ready.

Now go out there
and make me popular...

I mean proud.
Proud.

Change of plans, KC.

You have an emergency
extraction mission.

Okay, Dad, I love you,
but I am not squeezing

your back pimples
ever again.

This is Organization
business.

You can't do this to us!
She has a date.

I'm this close
to being popular.

Dad, can't the mission wait
until 10:00 or 11:00 tonight?

Yeah, I'm sure the agent
who's been captured

won't mind waiting
a few hours.

Maybe they'll give him
some coconut water

- and a foot massage.
- Oh, so we're good.

Get in the van.

Okay, KC, an agent
from the Organization

has been captured
by the Other Side.

Intel shows that
they might be holding him

in this apartment.

Hey, Dad, thermal scan
confirms there are two perps

in there with
our compromised agent.

- I'm going in.
- KC, our orders are

- to wait for back-up.
- I can't wait.
I have a date,

and an unreasonably
early curfew.

- I'm going in.
- KC, stand down.

I repeat, stand down.

Hey, think fast.

KC! KC, are you there?
KC! Are you there?

I'm right here.

- KC, you could've been
seriously hurt.
- But I wasn't.

- But you could've been.
- But I wasn't.

But you could've been.

But again, I wasn't.

That's not the point.

I believe Agent Murphy here
would disagree.

He also thinks that
10:00 is a little bit early

for a curfew,
right, Agent Murphy,

whose life I just
saved?

Oh, hey, how'd
the mission go?

Oh, I would tell you,
but it's a secret.

Really, Craig?
Really?

When are you gonna stop
all this nonsense?

Hey, I'm a man
of many secrets.

For instance, did you know
I can burp the entire alphabet?

Wasn't cute on
our first date,

and it's not gonna
be cute now.

And if you don't
stop acting like a darn fool,

you're gonna be sleeping
on this couch tonight.

Dad, I get that
you're upset with Mom,

but if you wanna
patch things up,

can I give you
a little advice?

Stop worrying about
being interesting,

and worry more about
being interested.

What the heck
does that mean?

I don't know.

Marisa came up with it.

But I think,
in this case,

it means stop making
a big deal about you,

and worry about her.

Huh.

You know, that
actually makes sense.

Thank you, son.

And if that fails,
tell her a story
about a dead dog.

I'm here.
I'm here.

I'm here.
Uh, sorry I'm late.

I just, um, had to
help my dad with something.

Anything interesting?

Interesting? No.

I am not interesting
at all.

But I am interested...

in what you like
on the menu.

I'm not sure what to get.

How about salmon croquettes?

Because it's a pizza place
and they're not on the menu.

Yeah.

Sure, that's a good reason.

I just love them so much.

I thought you were
a vegetarian.

I am.

I am, but I like to pretend
to eat salmon croquettes...

while motocross racing
and reading

all seven
Harry Potter books.

I mean, is there
a best one?

Don't ask me 'cause
I love them all.

KC, are you randomly
mentioning things that I like?

Why would you say that?

Because you're randomly
mentioning things that I like.

Please tell me you did not
internet-stalk me

to prepare for our date.

No. Of course not.
I would never do that.

That is so weird
and creepy and...

very manipulative.

I was almost seven.

I had begged my parents
for months for a puppy,

and then,
on my birthday, I, um...

I'm sorry.

Here's a little
secret for you.

The last time
this blanket was used,

Ernie had the stomach flu
and threw up on it.

Sweet dreams.

Can I tell you
a secret?

I can be an idiot
sometimes.

Oh, tell me something
I didn't already know.

I was upset because
I didn't know about
your sister,

and I acted like
a jerk.

What I should've done
was sit you down,

and asked,
how you doing, baby?

I know this whole thing
must be really painful.

You okay?

Oh, Craig.

Now if there's
anything else you're hiding,

and you wanna
get it off your chest...

Don't ruin it, Craig.

Thank you.
I had a great time tonight.

Did you?
Did you really?

No.
( laughs )

Neither did I.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

It was horrible,
and it was all my fault.

And the worst part is
I really, really like you,

and I just ruined
my very first date ever.

Okay, wait a minute.

This is your
very first date?

Yes.

Now wait another minute.

Did you just say
you really liked me?

Maybe.

KC, I like you, too,

and I wanna
get to know you.

Who's the real KC?

Um...

Well, the real me...

The real me has never had
a salmon croquette,
and never wants to.

I have no interest
in motocross racing,

and I am way behind
in my Harry Potters.

I guess the real KC
is someone

who really, really,
really cares about her family.

They are, like,
the most important
thing in the world to me.

I couldn't even imagine
going through life without...

You know what,
thank you so much
for everything,

and I really wanna
do this again,

but I gotta go talk to
a family member right now.

Thanks for...
walking me to your door?

So...
how'd it go, buddy?

Will we be
seeing you again?

Oh, hi.

Hi. Um, I'm sorry.

I didn't get to properly
introduce myself before.

I'm KC Cooper,
and I'm your cousin.

Come on in.