All language subtitles for Hard Sell (2016) English

- I can't do it, Ma.
We have to do something.

You can't keep doing this thing where
you pretend that everything's okay,

'cause it's not okay. It's not.

We just need to be better.

If we don't do anything, we're
gonna just die like this here.

If you don't do this
for yourself, then do it for me.

Fuck. Get up!

Walter!

What happened, Ma?

- It just blew.
- I... I know, but how?

I was cooking
that leftover bacon.

You take the foil off?

- No.
- It's okay, Ma. Shhh...

- I'm sorry.
- It's okay, Ma. Don't cry.

- What do you think
you're doing, Buchanan?

Having lunch.

Your clothes look
like they're gonna sprout.

You know, advisors should
really deal with the future,

not the present.

- Yeah, well, when students
start to vegetate, I step in.

Your future depends
on extracurriculars.

Colleges love soup kitchens.

It's time to get serious,
Buchanan.

I told you, Miss Parker,
it's gallstones.

I'm not gonna have
a temperature.

You can't have gallstones.
You're too young.

However unlikely,
it is happening. It's...

- Ninety-nine.
You're fine, Missy.

- You don't wanna leave anything
up to chance. I could be contagious.

What?

Uh, nothing.

You got gallstones?

I had the flu last week.

Must go around.

- Hardy, how's
your bowel movements?

- S-standard bowel movements.
- Still have the diarrhoea?

No.

It was a one-time thing.

It was a one-time thing.

I don't... I don't even know
why she brought it up.

It was a field trip,
like, a week ago.

It's a long story.
They're normal now.

What about you, Lake?

Well, Mom's in the Turks and
Caicos and Dad is in the cemetery.

I'll trust that you are safe
to drive yourself?

- Yup.

- I-I'll see you tomorrow.

Feel... feel better.

- Come on, Walt.

Come on.

- Don't feed him too fast.
He'll bloat.

- He's not.

- I can hear him eating
too fast. Walter, baby!

He's fine, Ma.
It's okay. Really.

Ma, we talked about smoking
in the house, right?

Walt's been moving funny.
He's moving funny.

I know, yeah.

I-I'll get him checked out.
Don't worry about it.

I could've sworn I made dinner.

Don't worry about it.
I ate at work.

No, no, no, I'll whip you up
something special.

- You don't have to. Really.
- I got it.

- Hardy, I don't know what to say.

There's a tumour...
pressing on the nerve.

It's back cancer.

Walter, it looks like
he's had a really good life.

Like he's been really loved.

That's the problem with dogs:
they don't live long enough.

Look, I... I know
that you can fix this.

Okay?
It's not even a question.

My neighbour, Franklin, had orthopaedic
surgery to replace his femoral head.

Walter's half the geriatric he is.

If you're gonna do the surgery,
I would do it immediately.

In two weeks,
he won't be able to walk.

Okay, and how much...
how much will that cost?

Around $10,000.

Is there some kind of payment
plan that we can do for that?

- You're doing it wrong.
- What's the difference?

There's a right way
and a wrong way.

Who cares about a little thing?

I do.

I sleep in this bed.

You're sure
you're not just a volunteer?

I volunteer and they give me
a place to sleep.

Come on! Really?

Yeah.

Well, what do you do?

I'm a stripper.

Don't take this the wrong way,

but you're way too hot
to be in your position.

Stage fright.

Stage fright
doesn't really explain it.

I have a cool way to do this.

Alright.

Gonna blow your mind.

Okay, grab my biceps.

Just grab my...

You are not flexing right now.
Come on.

- I'm not. That's all me.

You don't even wanna see flexing.

Alright, here we go.
So on three, pull, okay?

One, two, three.

Not bad.

It's kinda cool.

Kinda cool? That's awesome!

I'm here by choice.
To answer your question.

So you're a psychopath.

That figures. Typical.

- I see you've met
our most unspoken visitor.

Well, not yet, actually.
I'm Hardy.

Nice to meet you, Hardy. Bo.

- I need to steal her
for a second.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah, could you...?

Oh, you wanna steal her
right here?

- Yeah. Give us a little...
- Okay.

- Thank you.
- I'm not... I wouldn't...

This guy in the rec room,
same dude...

I think he'll be back.

Don't believe what he says.

I don't want to, but the things
he's saying are pretty heavy.

You're one of the good guys,
right?

Yeah.

Just stall for me again, please?

Okay, what are you gonna do?

I'm gonna get outta here,
that's what I'm gonna do.

- You don't have to do that.
- It's okay. Thank you.

Alright,
I think that's it for me.

- Where you going?
- Home.

Where's home?

East.

That way.

It sounds nice.

It's just...
it's totally nice. It's... cool.

Do you think I could maybe
come home with you?

They're out of beds for tonight,
so I'm kinda stuck.

Really?

Why not?

Well, you could be, like,
a psychopath,

a crazy psychopath, for one.
- Is that right?

Or, um, I could be, like,
a totally mean rapist.

Opposed to a really nice rapist?

I could just be a rapist.
That's all I'm trying to say.

I could take you.

Okay.

- Yeah?
- Yeah...

Sure, why not? It'd be fun.

Just don't get the wrong idea.

I think I already have
the wrong idea.

That's Walt.

Hiya, Walter.

You're a cutie.

Oh, God, you didn't tell me
we were having company tonight.

- Look at me.
- You look fine, Ma. You look good.

Bo, Ma.
Ma, Bo.

- It's nice to meet you.
- You, too.

Bo's a stripper.

He... he always had
such an imagination.

I bet.

Bo's going to stay
for the night.

- If that's okay with you.
- Okay. Of course it's okay.

You're the first girl
Hardy's ever had over.

That's not true. Come on.

- So...

...how was your day?

- Shit.
- Ugh. Shush.

Not in front
of your girlfriend, honey.

- Oh, we're not...
- Unless...

No.

Okay.

- You don't go
to Hardy's school, do you?

No, I'm out of school.
I'm currently looking for work.

Oh, I know that's hard.

What line of work were you in?

I-I told you, Ma.

- She's a stripper.
- Well, you have the body for one.

Thank you, Lorna.

So are you two
wearing protection?

Come on, Ma, come on!

In this economy, you never know.

That doesn't even make sense.

What does the economy have to do
with wearing protection?

It has everything to do with it.

Raise a kid in a decline?
No, you don't!

The economy's not responsible
for everything we do.

- He's just mad
that he got canned this week.

- Ma!
- Can't keep his mouth shut.

I wonder where I get it from.

You two are very cute.

Thank you, Bo.

You can come over
for dinner anytime.

Okay, please, guys, enough.

- Mom, how was Walt today?
- Oh, you know Walter.

He's the sweetest little baby
I ever did see.

- He's sick, though.
- What's wrong with him?

He's walking kinda funny.
He can't poop.

- Poor guy.
- I'm gonna go feed him.

- You do that.
- Come on, boy, let's go,

let's go get you
something to eat. Come on!

- He actually listens...
- Come on, food's over here.

- Let's go. Let's go.
- He's so cute.

- Thanks again for letting me stay.
- Of course, of course.

Frankly, I'm relieved.

Why's that?

Hardy's always been
a little light in the loafers.

Do you mind
if I use your bathroom?

It's just down the hall.
The room with the toilet in it.

You can't miss it.

Unless, of course, you do!

Okay, buddy, okay, okay, okay.

Oh, what's that?

Look.

Come on,
you've gotta eat something.

Come on, look,
this is delicious.

I know you like it.

You can spit it out.

That was disgusting.

Next time,
try the pickled herring.

It's really good.

- Y'know, your name
doesn't sound very Jewish.

- I'm not really Jewish.

Not really.

I'm not that religious.

So what are you, like,
half-Jewish or something?

Yeah, well, it started...

When I was younger,
my ma confused the holidays.

She thought that Eight Crazy
Nights was a Beatles song.

And then it kinda went off
from there.

We put up a Hanukah bush
and got into the holiday spirit.

So you're Jewish by default.

Most of my life is by default.

Jesus.

That's not right.

That's... You shouldn't...
encourage him.

So what's wrong with the dog?

- He's got problems.
- I know. Like what?

He needs a surgery
that I can't afford.

Until I get that worked out...

Isn't he a little old
for surgery?

- So what?

No, I mean, I'm just saying.

Why don't you pawn that?

It's a relic.
Doesn't even tick.

- Who gave it to you?

Just some dude.

Plus my mom needs Walt.

It's... I'm gonna be gone
in a couple of months,

so what else is she gonna have?

Y'know?

You can get her
another dog, or a fish.

A little Jewish herring.

It's not just the... company.
It's not about that.

It's Walt.

He gives her a purpose.

Like, my mom is afraid
to leave our property.

She doesn't leave our house, ever.

So without Walt there, I'm afraid
to even think what she would do.

Where's Dad?

You're the nosiest date
I ever had. A lot of questions.

You bring them all here?

Uh, he left when my mom
was pregnant.

He's just some dude.
He's not my dad.

Some dude, huh?

That sucks. I'm sorry.

So what's your deal?

Did your dad touch you
or something?

You know, you're a real gem
to talk to.

Well, I don't know.
I'm asking.

He did not touch me, no. Uh...

Three weeks ago,
I walked out of a hospital.

You know, the...
the crazy one?

I knew you were a psychopath.

I was...

- I was a little messed up.
- You... you're crazy.

I was a little messed up,
but I'm totally fine now.

You know what?
If you're gonna kill me...

do me a favour.

Have sex with me first?

It'll be the highlight of my life.
You'll forget it right away.

I'm not comfortable
dying a virgin. I'm serious.

Maybe we should just try
to find you a nice girl.

- A nice girl.

What's the point?

All the women in my life
are crazy.

Little shit.

It's not funny!

Little assholes.

- Hey, guys.

Here

Least I could do.

Did you just blow him?

You got problems, you know that?

This is 50 bucks!
What did you do?

Showed 'em my tits.

How many tits do you have?

Alright, look, I'm not an idiot.

Clearly you're dealing with stuff
outside of a cuckoo's nest.

Disgruntled boyfriend,

pimp problems...

Strippers don't have pimps.

Yeah, strippers don't all hang out
with guys like me, either.

Tsss. What are you getting at?

This is a great idea.
This is a really good idea.

You're gonna make us
some serious money.

No, I'm not.

Yeah, you are.

Those guys, they're gonna back to school,
they're gonna tell everybody.

By the end of the day,
the entire student body is gonna know

you flashed that little douchebag.

- Oops.

No. Eureka, not oops.

This is amazing.

We'll split everything 50/50,

it'll be the easiest money
you and I have ever made.

I can save money for Walt.

You can extend
your little vacation.

- I already made 50 bucks.

Yeah, but that's not gonna last.

They're kids.
I'm not gonna do that.

They're not kids.
What difference does it make?

It was a one-time thing.
I'm not gonna...

You did it...
Bo, you did it once.

I'm... I-I mean,

I need you here, y'know.
What else are you gonna do?

Actually, do you think you can
get me some Xanax or Valium?

Is that...
for the crazy thing?

No, I just... have trouble
sleeping, so that helps.

Yeah... Well, yeah, um,
that stuff's like Pez at school.

No problem.

Okay.

Okay.

Steady.

Just... Alright.

She's in the shower.
Can't miss her.

- Hi.

Sorry.

No touching, no photos.

No touching the girl,
no touching yourself.

Is there something wrong?

That's your problem right there.

You can't expect her to give you oral sex
if you're not willing to give it back.

- Right. Uh-huh.
- It's a two-way street.

She wants it.
All girls do.

- Really?
- Really.

I mean, and it's like, you know,
like just a balance.

You have to be willing.

We want what you want, you know?

Are you guys crazy?!

A naked girl wasn't enough?!

- Yo! Dean Clark's coming!
- Oh, shit!

That was great.
That was incredible!

You were...
you were something else.

Oh, my God.

They weren't that interested in
me, they just wanted a story.

Well, they got one.

We just made 500 bucks.

Here's your half.

And some of that garbage you like.

You can rest comfortably.

Alright.

You like to be clean.

Okay. Go.

- Hardy, may I speak with you?

No.

It's of extreme importance
I talk to you.

It's about your friend.

Alright. Sit.

I have a business proposal
for you.

The country club I'm a member of
is hosting a function on Saturday night.

All members of the club
will attend,

but most importantly,
my father will be there.

It's set to be quite a night,

but I'm afraid I don't have
a date for it.

Dude, you're, like,
14 years old.

- My chips.
- Fifteen.

My girl won't be into it.

I have $1,000.

Two thousand.

No.

$1,500.

No.

Well...

1,200.

Deal.

If you get frisky,
in any way imaginable,

I'm gonna call up
her pimp/boyfriend thug.

He's gonna come rip your 14-year-old
hairless testicles right off.

I'm actually 15.

Your 15-year-old
hairless testicles right off.

- Put 'em in your own mouth.
- But I thought she was a stripper.

Ex-stripper, yeah.

Strippers don't have pimps.

I know that.

Think I don't know that?
My client...

- I'll be a complete gentleman.
- Good.

Money... 1,300 now.

Jesus, what are you doing?

You could've called!

I don't have a cellphone.

People from Zimbabwe
have cellphones.

Yeah, people from Zimbabwe
have friends.

What do you do all day?

What do you mean?

I mean this isn't a fun town.
Not a lot of attractions.

- I find stuff to do.
- Like what?

- I... walk around, I...

I wander into people's backyards
and watch them.

That's like the creepiest
thing I've ever heard.

I'm living in the moment.
That's all you need to know.

Wait. Seriously, is this part
of, like, a 12-step program?

Like, part of the crazy thing?

Is it part of the crazy thing?
'Cause that can't be your actual plan.

Like, you can't plan on being
a creep forever, you know?

But, seriously, do you have
any other solidified stuff besides that?

- Like a five-, 10-year plan?
- You are so annoying.

- Uh...

Okay, you were right
the first time.

There's someone who's looking for me

and I'd appreciate it
if you didn't bring it up again.

Have you been in a towel
this whole time?

Yes.

Well, if that's the case, you kinda
backed yourself into a corner.

I mean, Long Island's
a cul-de-sac.

Should've gone west.

Yeah, well, I don't really
have any money right now,

- so I'm kinda stuck.
- Exactly.

That's why I came.

Bo, I have a rare and unique
business opportunity for us.

Does it involve
playing with my clothes?

Well, yeah. But this time,
you're playing dress-up.

Oh, my God, even scarier.

A Cavalier freshman
has acquiesced for your hand.

You used that word incorrectly.

Which one?

Never mind.

You know, I'd rather not.

- That is $600. And some
of that garbage you like.

Now, that's half.

You'd be his date
to his country-club ball.

You eat nice food,
you dress nice, you smile.

Easy money!

What's in it for me?

I have this room
for the next week.

- Goodbye.
- Good... goodbye?

- Goodbye.
- Bo, no!

Bo, it's just one night.
All you have to do is show up.

You don't even have to do
anything, the clothes stay on...

- Get up.
- Bo...

Will you please help me?

If we're in this together,

then you're coming
and you're bringing a date.

Jaime wouldn't like that.

Who's Jaime?

- It's your date.
- Not if you don't man up.

You want me to go,

then you're coming too
and you're bringing a date.

Here. You can call here.

- Hello? - Hi.
C-can I speak to Tito, please?

A girl! Come on.

- Hello?
- Hi. May I speak...

please speak with Lake?

- It-it's Hardy.
- Hold on.

La, there's a boy named Hardy
on the phone for you.

What do you want?

Look. I know we don't talk much...
but I'd like to change that.

Um... the River's having a thing
tomorrow night,

and I was hoping
that we could go together.

Country clubs aren't my thing.

Yeah, no, me either.
They... they suck.

So why are you going?

Uh... a friend had asked me to
go and to bring somebody, so...

- Is this friend a girl?
- Yeah.

She a prostitute?

No.

She a stripper?

Ex-stripper.

Yeah, h-how did you know?

People are talking.

Nice.

Not if the wrong people hear.

Okay, well, I can't worry
about that right now. I just...

All I need is for you
to be my date.

Please come, Lake. It can be a
really great waste of time.

Fine.

Great!

Aw-awesome!
Okay, uh-uh-um...

I'll pick you up...

at 7:00.
I'll pick you up at 7:00?

- I'll just meet you there.
- You will. Okay. Even better.

Wow, we're...

Hello?

Alright.

Not bad.

Hey, Ma,
why is Walt's hair in my comb?

Why do you think?
I was brushing him.

But there's a dog brush for that.

Quit busting my chops.

Ma, why is there dog hair
in my toothbrush?

I said I was brushing him.

Well, yeah, what part of him
did you brush?

All of him.
His teeth, his hair.

Quit busting my chops.

Ma, there's dog stuff for dogs

and people stuff for people.

- He's an equal.

Do not treat him any different.

Ah.

Where'd it go?

Where's my nail?

Alright, Ma,
you sure you got him?

I got it, baby, I got it.

- I fed him,
so he's good with that.

And, Ma, please don't try
to cook anything.

I won't!
Quit busting my chops!

- Okay.

Oh, I'm fine. Love you.
Get outta here, would you?

- How are you tonight, Miss?
- Fine.

I have itchy boobs.

- Well, of course you're not gonna wear it tonight.
You never wear anything I get you, huh?

- Stop, stop!
You're making a scene.

Andre you must stop.
- Always complaining, I must buy you a dress

and you didn't even wear it.

You're crazy. You're crazy!

You... you look great.

Are you wearing perfume?

I thought it was gender neutral.

- I can smell it.

Would you stop looking at me
like that?

- Like what?

I dunno, like a puppy
that needs to be let out to make.

- What do you mean?
- It's desperate.

Sorry, well...

- Don't apologize.
- S-sorry. My bad.

What's wrong?

I've got a bully for a dad.

You are trembling.
Just... relax, okay? Breathe.

Forget him.

People are always telling you
to become something, but...

life is about being.

It's about... right now.

You're holding me,
we're dancing.

Okay, yeah, lesson learned.

- That was quick.

- Hope he doesn't want
his money back.

What are you, like, her pimp?

Think of it more
like a fundraiser.

It's not a career choice.

Well, that's good,
'cause I think it's pretty low.

Why is it low?
I'm not hurting anybody.

Says who?

You wanna go dance or something?

Why, do you want to?

Well, no, not really.

Then we won't dance.

I do wanna dance.

I just don't know... how...
how to dance.

What does being able to dance actually
have to do with dancing, Hardy?

It doesn't, I guess.

I can't dance.

- So you wanna go dance?
- Mm-hmm.

- Okay.
- Yeah, fine.

- Hey.
- Shit. God!

- Sorry.
Did I scare you?

- You scared the shit out of me.

- Sorry.

- Mind if I join you?
It's stuffy in there.

- Sure.

You're so pretty.

I can see why everyone's
talking about you.

- Yeah, it's a small town.
- I know.

Don't you find that annoying?

It's alright.

What?

It's just you're so pretty
and you're so confident.

And you're so cool
and in control.

You people just need to relax.

You're giving me heartburn.
Have a drink and relax.

- I can't.
- Sure, you can.

Just sit back and...

You hear the crickets?

I can't really talk
to my friends.

Everyone is so judgmental
around here.

As you grow up,
you learn whose opinion matters

and... the rest of 'em,
who gives a fuck?

- So it's curl for the girl...

Just stop.

- Alright the Lord.
- Okay.

So...

...what was the whole idea
behind bringing me here?

I just really wanted to see you.

I guess it's 'cause
you scare me.

That's an awful thing to say.

- I didn't mean it like that.

I meant it like a compliment.

Like, you don't act your age.

Like...

you don't hang out
with other kids our age.

You act like you already have
a bachelor's degree.

That stuff all makes you
really interesting.

You're a cute kid, Hardy.

You should be able to find
the right kind of girl.

Yeah.

I mean... yeah.

Cool car.
This is really awesome.

Yeah, my mom uses it
as a fashion statement.

Notice the yacht-club permits
on the window.

Right.

Good night, Hardy.

See you around.

Drive safe!

It's... it's dark.

- Get inside.
Could you get inside?

- Lorna, hey, wake up!

You're a nutbag, Lorna!

- I'm calling the cops!
- Ma!

- I'm calling the cops on her, Hardy!
- What are you doing?

No, it's my house.

You hear that, bitch?
It's my property.

You ain't the only one living
on this street, Lorna! You loon!

- Come over here and say that.
- Ma, Ma, look at me. Stop, okay?

- It's time to go inside.
- Why? It's my house.

I can dress however I want,
bitch! You hear that?!

Yeah, but you can't have
an open container on the street.

- She likes it!
- Ma, she does not, okay?

I knew it!!

You crumbed all my flowers.

You know how much time I spent
on the magnolias and you're crushing them.

- Here we go. One and two...
- Lesbian.

- Here, we're almost home, okay?
- Oh, God, please hurry.

Here you go.
Okay, bed sounds nice, right?

- I need to be horizontal.
- One, two...

Come on.
Good boy.

Okay.

- She made me so mad.
- Okay, Ma.

Here you go.

You got it?

Why can't you just stay
on track, Ma?

What do you mean, baby?

What the doctor gave you,
it's gonna help.

Healthy baby.

- Where's my baby?
- I'm right here, Ma.

- I mean Walter.
- He's asleep on the floor.

Ah, such good babies.

Such good...

We gotta do something, Ma.

We're not taking good care
of each other.

It'll be fine.

I'll be better.
I promise.

Eat up. You'll feel better.

I'm so sick of this.

Life isn't cooperating.

She's not gonna get any better.

I can't help her.

It's... like the more I try to do,
the more useless I feel.

It's... it's pathetic.
I can't do anything.

I can't do anything.

Hey, you're such a useless
piece of shit,

then why am I sitting here?

My dog's cute.

He's not that cute.

What about the girl?

I think I blew it.

Well, she showed up. That's like
half the battle right there.

You think? Yeah?

I know.

Crap.

What's wrong?
What's...

I think I left my jacket
there last night.

At the club? It's Sunday.
The place is gonna be crowded.

- I know.
- I'm not going.

Well, I gotta get it, so...

- I'm goin'.
- I'll go with you. Alright.

Come in.

Uh, good afternoon, Officer.

Um, I was wondering
if maybe you could help me out.

I'm looking for my niece,

and she's been missing
for a few weeks.

Have you filled out
a missing-person report?

Not in this town, I haven't, no.

Oh, and guess what.
I have a picture.

We used to vacation around here
in this town.

Hmm, pretty girl.

- Yeah, thank God she doesn't
have my brother's nose.

Family trait.

Uh, anyway, listen, I talked
to a ticket-taker on the LIRR

and he said
she could've gotten off

at half-a-dozen of these stops,
this being one.

Alright, well, we'll have to have you
fill out a missing-person report.

Um, just give me a minute
to find one. It's been a while.

I've officially landed
in Mayberry.

What's up, guys?

Looking for her jacket.

Hi, I'm Jason.

- You look familiar.
- I, uh...

I was, uh, in the locker room.

- Huh.
- Is this it?

Yes! Thank you.
You are a rock star.

Wait. Please, actually,
I was wondering

if I was ever
gonna see you again?

Why?

Could... could we talk?

- Her time is money, pal.
- How much?

Um...

We can talk first
and figure that out later.

- Is there someplace we could go?

She's not going anywhere
I can't see her.

Let's get something straight
right now.

- How about here?

Uh... do you have to be here,
Hardy?

Serious question?

- When I explain the situation...
- Just give us a little privacy.

Okay?
Just for like a minute.

I don't like this guy at all.

He's fine.

- He's got a stupid face.
- He doesn't...

- He's got a stupid face.
- He has glasses, he's harmless.

- Ahem.
- Come on, just go.

Like, a minute.
Relax.

No, wait, wait, wait!

How can you be mad about that?!

I went once! Behind the shed,
when nobody's here.

- Stop talking!
- Your parents aren't even here.

How can you be mad?
Are you serious?

- We've talked about this
a million...

- Guys, how you doing?
- Will you walk away, Hardy?

What's up, man? She's just mad
at the world today.

What'd I do?

I heard all about you guys
and that... prostitute!

- She's not a prostitute.
- See? I told you!

Yeah, like I'm gonna believe him.

You brought her here?

Yes. She's with Jason.

What is she doing with Jason?
He's a good guy!

He is a good guy. She's helping
him exorcise some demons.

Now I think about it, I recommend
the two of you sit down with her.

- Ah, very funny!
- What for?

- Seems like you have a few
problems you need to deal with.

- What does a hooker know?
- Not a hooker.

Katy, she's not like us.
She's seen things, really.

- Mm.
- She's kinda smart, actually.

- Very smart.
- How would you know?!

- I got high with her.
- What?! Argh!!!

- Lot of energy.
- I lie, she hates me.

I tell the truth,
she hates me even more.

But she'll come back.

You had your turn, now it's mine.
I'm gonna go talk to her.

- Whoa, no, no, no!
- Katy, Katy, baby.

You think someone like that
comes cheap?

- Fifty a head.
- Oh, no way!

- Smith...

Nice, man.
Thanks a lot.

- Enjoy!
- What?

Thattaway, Smithy.

So what's the deal?
You seem pretty put together.

I... confidentially speaking...

- Of course.

Uh... Chrissy's
a close friend of mine.

She and I have the type of secrets
you can only share under water.

She told me she talked to you.

She did. I'm not sure
how much help I was, but...

- She's better for it, believe me.

- Okay, so... what's up?

I think I might be possibly gay.

So what's the problem?

Uh...

It's a problem around here.
Believe me.

Why do you take your clothes
off for those idiots?

I'm studying the developmental
process of adolescent behaviour.

Smart!
See? I told you.

He won't have sex with me
if he has to wear a condom.

It's not the condom.
I'm gay.

My father plays golf
professionally

and we just became members here.

I was born in this country,
English is my first language.

I don't even understand Chinese,

and still everyone looks at me here
like I built the fucking railroads.

Woman to woman,
let's forget that he's here.

My parents want me
to date someone else.

Argh!
Tell her the truth!

You're not supposed
to be here! Shhh!

They already have this...
person in mind.

- What are your parents like?
- Oh, it's like the Titanic.

Except Rose's mother,
in this case, spits fire.

Shut up, Smith!
You just want to be Leo!

Yeah, who doesn't want to be Leo?

I keep having a recurring dream.

Just... me and my brother,

we're on a beach,
and it's the end of the day.

And he decides he wants
to go for a swim.

The waves get heavier...

and it's harder for my brother
to swim back.

And I watch him struggle...

to get back to shore.

And when he finally
goes under...

...I walk home.

- I think you're stressing
not because you're gay,

but because you like older men.

I mean, the boys around here
don't exactly exude sexual confidence.

There's literally
no one else around here.

- You're like Professor Xavier.

There's a bunch of X-Men out there,
they just don't know they're X-Men yet.

Believe me, there are more.

My advice: go on the date.

I'm not cool with that!

- Go on the date?
- Smith.

Jealousy and possession are two
of men's most primal instincts.

But how do you think
you're gonna let a girl in

if you're constantly worried
about letting her go?

- So just let her cheat on me?
- Why am I cheating on you?

- I'm not telling her
to be with the guy, just...

go on the date,
make the parents happy,

and then sneak out
the Smiths' for dessert.

Alright.

- Okay.
- Okay!

- Those are just thoughts.

You're not crazy
and you're not alone.

Crazy people
don't know they're crazy.

- Bonnie?

Who?

Is that you?

I don't know anyone
by that name.

You bear a striking resemblance to the
daughter of an old friend of mine.

It's... uncanny.

Must be your contacts.

- I haven't seen you here before?
- Nope!

Oh, can I ask for your name?

Miss Von Teese.

Pleasure, Miss Von Teese.

Cliff Thomas.

We're kind of a in the middle
of something right now, Cliff.

If you don't mind.

Sure, sure.

I-I'm sorry,
I just remembered I...

I have somewhere to be.

I'm... I'm sorry.

- What are you doing here?

Yo!

- Dude, what the hell?
- What's going on?

Your friend invited us over.

- Where is she?
- They went to the swamp, bro.

- They?

Her and some other kids.
Man, get outta the way.

Aren't parents gonna wonder
where everybody is?

- Study group.
- What study group?

The study group. The one
that gets us outta the house.

This kid's been teaching me
American history all term.

I do what I can.

I do what I can.

- You're it!

- Bo, what's going on here?

One kid showed up, another one,

and then another one,
and someone brought beer.

- I don't get it.
- Kids are like penguins,

constantly searching
for a place to chill.

- Hey, who are you calling
a penguin?! Huh?

Smith could never be a penguin
because they're monogamous!

Pfft, since when do you know
about penguins?

You took me to see Happy Feet
for our anniversary!

Of course I did, baby.

Oh, hey, Hardy, Lake is here.

- So?

So don't play the innocent.
I know you two have a thing.

- Did she say that?

Dude, when are you gonna open
your eyes?

- Wh-where is she right now?

Just over by the lake.

Go get her, dude!

Relax, okay?
It's gonna be fine.

Waiting on someone?

- Here you go, babe.

Shit...

Hey, Hardy.

Hey, I was just gonna...
gonna give you some company, but...

Sorry, this is Paul.
Paul, this is Hardy.

- Hey, dude, what's up?
- Nothing.

Just looking for a...
place to chill out for a bit.

That's cool, bro.
Join us, it's fine.

So Hardy, uh...
Paul's at Harvard.

That's where you wanna go,
right?

MIT, actually.

Oh, right next door.

Yeah...

So how do you two know each other?
You go back or...?

Yeah, Lake and I used to,
uh, hang out together, y'know.

I don't know
if you'd call it dating, but,

you know,
we had some good times.

Yeah... good times, huh?

We're friends.

Yeah, with... with benefits.

- Frennies with bennies. Nice.
- Uh-huh.

Cool, man.

I don't like
this guy at fucking all.

He's got a stupid face.

I think he may be retarded
or something.

- He's at Harvard.
- Bush went to Yale.

- Yeah, look, Hardy?
- Yeah.

Why don't you take off, man,
before you end up in the brook?

Let me tell you something.
That's a pond, Paul.

A brook is a small stream
of water.

Last time I checked,
yep, that water's stagnant.

Right.

- Guys... grow up.
- Take a biology class, Paul.

He is right.
It is... it is a pond.

Okay, Lake, you are way better
with your mouth shut.

Whoa,
don't talk to her like that.

What are you gonna do, man?
I play lacrosse, you dumb shit!

Fuck...

- Stop, stop!

Hardy... hey, are you alright?

What?

- Lake...

- Thanks.
- Yeah, sure.

You're really playing lacrosse?

Pfft! Yeah.

Yeah, she's definitely gone.

- Yeah, you fucked it up.
- Pfft!

Oh...!

- 'Morning.

Quit yelling.

Potassium and caffeine.

It's an old college trick.

You went to college?

I dabbled.

- Um... here, you can...
you can take these.

Sell them, whatever.
I'm done with them.

Good for you.

I... I'm proud of you.

What are you doing?!
That's gonna make you pass out!

Screw it!

Don't you have school?

Yeah.

Stupid fuck.

Screw it. Fuck it.

Come with me.

Well, Hardy, I'm glad to see
you're comfortable.

I'm sure you know
what this is about.

Uh... no, I'm not sure.

Over the weekend, I was awakened
by a very disturbing phone call

regarding recent activities
that you were part of.

Now do you know?

I think...

- You think?

Why don't you just go ahead
and please tell me...

why.

A very distressed student
told me

that you hired a woman
to bare herself

in front of several
of our student body.

Oh.

Oh?

- I mean, um...

Well, I'm clearly
very embarrassed by it...

I would assume you would be.

Now, before we continue,

would you like to discuss anything
with Dr. Ruth in private?

Uh, no, that's fine.

Fine?

- No offence to Dr. Ruth,
of course, but I...

I know that anything
I share with you,

you'll just turn around and share
with all the people present in this room,

so I'll go out
and come out with it myself.

Go on.

I'm sorry, where was I?

The woman.

The woman, thank you.

Thank you. Um...

Well, the woman was wandering
around Main Street.

I was lonely and I...

I just really wanted
someone to talk to...

Not that that's any excuse.

I understand it was stupid
and it was very juvenile.

Um, but I did not expect for her
to take it up with other students.

Was this on school grounds?

Hardy?

Did you bring her
onto school property?

Yes.

I'm sorry, but...
unless the board disagrees,

you are no longer
a member of this school.

What you did was not only
juvenile, it was illegal!

Tsk!

School has a lot to discuss
and we will call upon you to clarify,

to help investigate
what can only be described as...

as the lowest act of social
depravity I've ever seen here.

I expect you to keep this
a private matter until then.

Ugh!

I'm sorry.

Oh, oh! Hey.

Kid! Listen, uh...

Driving around Long Island's
like landing on the moon.

I got no reception
and this cellphone is dying.

Can you give me some directions?

- No. No, thanks.
- Oh, hey, come on, man.

I see that you're going
somewhere with your bike.

I'll give you a lift anywhere you're going
if you just help me out.

Look, man, no offence,
but you kinda look like a weirdo

and I'm not in the mood.

- Tell you what:
I'll give you 50 bucks.

- You got anything bigger?

Uh, yeah.

I got a C-note.

You know what a C-note is?

- Hey, man,
what is it you're looking for?

We've been driving for...
15-20 minutes now.

- I'm actually looking
for someone.

What, did you wife leave you
or something?

No, I'm looking for my niece.

Bonnie Newman.

- Have you seen her?
- No, no, I've never seen her.

- You sure?

Yeah. You wanna...
take that back.

I don't respond well
to violence.

Neither do I.

Look...

Listen...
Will you stop moving around?

You're like
a Mexican jumping bean.

More comfortable over here.

I'm looking for my niece.

I know she's here,
and I know you know where she is.

Where'd you even get that from?

You're completely twisted, man.
I don't know where she is.

- A friend of our family's
saw her at the country club

talking to some kids
from your private school.

- I go to a very large private school.
That could be a number of people.

And your friends ratted you out.

What do you want?

I want to take Bonnie home.

She is not well.

I don't know any Bonnie.

If I did, why would I tell you?

Bonnie escaped from a hospital
in Upstate New York three weeks ago.

- And you're her uncle?
- That's right.

You got a lot of dough.

That's right.

Let me ask you something
about... Bonnie.

Is she or is she not a stripper?

Come again?

Never mind.
That's a stupid question.

Look, man, I don't know
where she is right now.

But I can look for her.

I... I promise.

You have a family, right?

Yeah.

Well, I want you to think
about your family right now.

Because Bonnie...

she needs her family.

If you see her...

...call.

I'll be staying in town.

- What are you doin'?

You drive me out to the middle of nowhere.
Can I get a ride home?

Walt?

Walt?

Walter, come on, boy!

Walt!

Walt!

Come on, buddy, let's go.

Walter, come on.

Walt.

Morning.

Walter.

Where's Trouble?

Where is he?

Sweet little baby.

Baby, what is it?

There's something that I need
to tell you and I...

I don't know how.

You can tell me... honey.

It's okay.

Ma...

Walter died.

Baby, where's Walt... Walter?

Walter!
Come here, boy!

- Mom... Walter was sick.
- No, no.

He was sick, Mom, and he died.

- No.

You tell me the truth!

You tell me now!
You tell me.

- Mom, come on.
- Back! Back! Back!

You killed him!

Walter...

Walter...

No, no!

No, no!

No... no!

Hey!

What's going on?

- You alright?
- Who are you?!

- What?

You... you tell me who you are
right now.

What do you...?
What is this about?

You lied to me!

I ran into your uncle.

Okay, just...
calm down, okay? It's...

- Walter died.

He died
and you could've helped him!

- You can let it out, okay?

Who the fuck are you?!!

- I'm sorry about Walter.

Why were you at the hospital?

They...

they called it
a nervous breakdown.

I... I put an incredible effort
into getting my shit together.

I did everything
I was supposed to be doing.

I was put together
piece by piece and...

...when I saw
the bigger picture,

it just wasn't who I was.

I just...
I couldn't take it anymore.

I could never be
who they wanted me to be.

I was never good enough.

So...

I took enough pills to...

end all of that...

and...

when I woke up...

I was put into a hospital.

And they told me that I...

I was a danger to myself.

You should go home.

You know, you're lucky
for the problems you have now.

You'll be better equipped,
you'll cope.

Co...

I don't want to have
to co... cope my whole life.

Family's important.

Fix what you're running from.

They'll always find you.

I lieu of making this public,

we decided to keep it
a private issue.

Your actions reflect very poorly
upon this school,

and if you have any hope of continuing
your education at another school,

you will give us the names of
the students who participated,

as well as the name
of the woman.

Dammit, Hardy, I wanna know who!

What if it was your kid?

Chrissy would never do
something like that.

All he wants to know...
are the names.

Screw it.

- Excuse me?

Let me ask you a question:
When you look at your students,

do you see signs on our foreheads
that say "little assholes"?

I don't understand the question.

Oh, because you treat us all
like little assholes.

Oh, cut the crap!

- These walls
that you've built around us,

they haven't nurtured us.

They've trapped us inside!
We-we-we show up here,

day after day, after day,
after day,

in our blazers and our ties
and dress shirts and fancy shoes

like we're walking out
of a fucking J.Crew catalogue,

gilded in our own austerity!

Why is that?!
That's not cool.

That's very uncool.

You're supposed to excite us,
entice us, distract us! Come on!

You gotta bring it each
and every day and you don't.

Jesus Christ, you don't.

Instead, you walk these halls
looking for someone to penalize.

And for what?
What's the purpose of that?

For wearing a skirt that's
a couple of inches too short?

You don't stimulate ingenuity,
you don't create growth.

You fabricate these mindless
'droids with hollow centres,

and you do it again
year after year.

You abrogate responsibility.

And it's this national crisis,

people all over
asking themselves:

Is it the home that's at fault,
or is it the school?

I don't know.

I say that it's the whole mix
of who we are and the classroom

that's supposed to help us
decide who we wanna be.

Maybe I'm just crazy, right?

And a puffin?

Who's the genius
who is behind that idea?

Our motto is:
Fly Above All Else.

A puffin is a low-flying bird.

That doesn't make any sense!

So to address
your previous request,

I'm not going to give
you those names

so you can punish
those kids further,

'cause you're already doing
a perfectly fine job at that.

- So that's it?

You walk out on your future.

Fuck!

I can't do it.

I can't do this anymore, Ma.

We need to do something.

- What?
- What?!

You nearly burned the kitchen
down again, Ma! Come on!

- Don't be silly.
It's just a little overcooked.

- You...

Will you please
just let me help you?

- Baby,
you're not making any sense.

I've been doing some research.

There's a place nearby
that you can get help.

- Help? What am I,
some kind of pity case?

It's...
it's just what they want.

It's...

Who's they?!

What are you even talking about?

I can't take care of you
anymore! I can't do it!

Will you please stop it?

Will you please listen to me?

Enough, enough with the water.
Stop.

Get... Leave it, Ma.

You need help.

You need serious help
and I can't help you.

I want to and I can't.

I can't... figure everything out
all the time. I'm the kid!

I don't know
how to figure everything out.

I... I can't be responsible
for making our lives better!

My life fucking sucks!
It sucks! Stop!

Ma, you can't keep pretending
like everything's okay.

It's not okay.

And you need serious help
and I can't help you.

What do you want from me?
What do you want me to do?

Okay, there's...
there's this place,

and it'll be just like a...
a... a vacation.

You'll be so much happier.

I'd get to see you smile again
when I come and visit you.

You come when you want
and you leave when you want.

They'll take care of you.
You'll be happy. Right?

What's the matter?
What's wrong?

What's wrong with me?

I don't know...

I don't know.

But if we don't do anything, we're gonna
die like this here in this house.

If you don't wanna do it for
yourself, then you can do it for me.

Okay?

- What a nice setup you got, Ma.

I might bunk up with you.

Hardy, what are you going to do?

I don't know.

But at least I know
that I don't know.

So I got that going for me.
That's nice, right?

- Put that over there.
- Over by the TV?

- Yes, please.
- Okay.

C'mere.

I, uh... I-I need to tell you...

I wanna tell you that...

- What do you wanna tell me,
Mom? Huh?

You can tell me.
It's okay.

I want...
to tell you that I'm...

I'm very proud of you.

- I'm very proud of you too, Ma.

You are so... handsome.

My boy is so handsome!

- Thank you, Ma.

Ah... You are!

- Thank you, Ma.
- You know what else?

- What?
- Those shoes?

They've been stinking for a long time now.
You gotta throw those out.

- These are the only shoes I have.
- I don't care. They just...

- They're... Woof!
- Okay...

I didn't know
if it was the dog or your feet.

It was probably my feet.

It's... You're right.
It's a problem.

Girls don't like stinky feet.

I'll throw 'em out.

So?

So?

Before you go...

you gotta do the thing.

How do you still remember?
I don't do it anymore!

I don't care. I'm your mother,
I'm telling you to do the thing.

I haven't done it
since I was eight!

- I don't care. Do the thing.
- Is that sign language?

- Yes.
- You want me to do the thing?

Well, If you're doing sign language,
I gotta do the thing.

Do what I say.

- Turn the other way first.
- Really? Are you kidding?

- You want me to do the thing...
- Go.

- These are the conditions.
- Hurry up.

I hate goodbyes. Are you done?
Hurry. Go. Go!

- Ma, I'm getting ready.
- Go, go!

Ya know, these people,
Lorna,

let me tell you,
unbelievable.

I called on the telephone.

I say,
"Am I gonna need a sweater?"

They say, "Yes,
you're gonna need a sweater."

They got the air conditioning
not working, there's no watah.

I'm... I'm schvitzing
like I don't even know what.

Oh, my goodness.

Are you good?
Your shoulder okay?

- I'm so...
- You should... I tell you.

I tell you...
Okay, no, I'm fast enough.

You know, you missed Nana's 96.

She might not get another one.

You've been saying that
since I was a kid.

I'm just saying...

suggesting that you...

might wanna send her a card.

I'll do that.

Didn't want you jumping ship.

We're gonna be okay.

What are you doing here?

I came to see you.

- I can see that.

Why?

Well, I needed to see you,

because I'm always thinking
about you.

Come on, Hardy.
That gooey stuff is not for me.

- What else do you want me
to say? I'm telling the truth.

Yeah, I know that.
Will you lie to me?

It's easier.

Fine.

I don't think about you
every day.

I don't think you're amazing.

I definitely don't think that
you're funny or you're smart.

It's not like I sit around pretending
we already have inside jokes

that other people
find obnoxious.

I don't think you're...
confident or exciting.

I'm definitely not into
your face or your, uh... body.

In fact, I-I think you're ugly, Lake...

And I'm pretty sure you suck.

And even though I think
all of those things,

I'm still completely and
irreversibly obsessed with you.

That's pretty good.

I had a lot of time
to think about it.

Okay, well...
you can come in...

if you quit picking on me.

Okay.

The End

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